267. Part 1: "The Day I Chose Not to Give Up on Me"

Hey, if you're someone who really connects to this message and you know there's someone out there who needs to hear this, but they're too proud. The walls are up. You can't show them. No worries. Flick them the link, share this podcast, send them the link. They can listen to it in the car, in the comfort of their own home, behind closed doors, in private privacy. Listen, absorb, and you know you are creating impact to change. There are so many people in pain who need to hear this message, who need to empower themselves, take their control and power back and get back in front. Appreciate you all much respect. Enjoy the episode and again, share the love, spread the love, and let's create impact and change across the world. Cheer. Here we go. Mr. Santoro. 2.0 would be an understatement. Well and truly on track for 3, 4, 5, 10.0. We have an incredible guest with us. And just this man's story alone back March 10, 2023. So over two years ago, Naz shared his story on a podcast. It's episode to where we at 2:17. Well, we're clocking them up now, but episode 217, Mr. Santoro joined us and shared his story. And wow, that story was nothing short of inspirational, Naz. But here I am sitting, and before me, whether you're listening or watching this, I see a man that has grown exponentially since that time. And at that time, there was a man who'd already evolved and gone from the brink of despair to saving his family, his marriage, and. And at that time, the additional little miracle hadn't happened. But this time it certainly has. But I'll let you shed light on that one, bro, because that's a. I mean, yeah, what has changed so much, but this man has. Is now leading and helping other men. Incredible to see the hundreds of people that Naz has already impacted directly, let alone indirectly, with your podcast. So many men have joined because your podcast, Naz and you are hpf man. Like you, you are the epitome of this. But I thank you for giving the time again, man, and jumping on and doing another podcast with me. How are you, bro?

Oh, man, I'm. I'm extremely well. And wow, what an absolute blessing to. To have this stage with you again. My word, a lot has changed. Yes, sir. It's. It's been a roller coaster. A frightening one at that. But it's been so fulfilling and entertaining and life changing. I don't want to sound cliche, but it's. It's true fact. It's Reality, it's, it's paved the way and changed my outlook on, on life. Where we were by memory at the point of our first podcast. We were 17 weeks into my journey. I'm nearly, I'm nearly now at three years. And yeah, the road's been extraordinary. Absolutely extraordinary.

Geez, you've got some one liners, man. Many things you've shown me and taught me as well. What I love about this space, man, is I just, I get to learn and get, you know, and help men through their struggles, but also get the latest and greatest of all these epiphanies, these one liners, these affirmations these men create and instill in their life off the back of their actions, their commitments. Not just fluffing bullshit in a book. It's like, man, this is. Books are great, but I'm just saying that this is a living and breathing embodiment of what it is to be a high performance father. And, and just the. You know what I love most about you, man, is you just don't fucking settle. Well, there are so many guys who've been quote unquote successful in hpf, but it's like standard, like standards are a sliding scale. It's like everyone's got fucking standards. But what level of standard do you set? And so many men, they still have that risk and they fold. They fold and they settle. And it's, it's, it's, it's fucking sad because why you just warming up? You've just cracked the code, you've just unlocked the formula and now you're not drinking that formula or applying that formula or using it. It's like, wow. It's like so I. And that's with respect to all past members too. But it's like, fuck, man, you just, you're an inspiration because your, your hunger and mentality is second to none. But one thing that stands out for me the most, not the most, but one thing that really, I love about your drive and it's really inspiring, is that, that saying, what, you're not changing, you're choosing. I love that. I bet you, bro. But let's, let's walk through it. You know what's changed, man? Talk through. So we've had that podcast two and nearly two and a half years ago. Two years and 22. Two years and 10 months ago. Sorry. It's nearly three years. Shit,

man.

A lot of change. Walk us through it, bro. Walk us through what's been happening. Family, self and service. I hope you guys are ready for, for an amazing episode where this guy's going to be diving in and just spitting absolute fire on what he's living and breathing. Not just talk, not theory, not bullshit. Someone cooks up that sounds nice. Like this dude forged through so many fires, is absolutely dominating and he's not slowing down either. What's news, bro? What's news? What's been happening?

I'm just taking it out of second gear, brother, you know that. But yeah, man, a lot, a lot's changed. A lot's changed in, in, in my world, in, in the world of our family dynamic and more importantly, the love, appreciation and respect, honor that you know, that this, this household has created. It's, that's, that's something that has been the pinnacle for me finding, finding that, that stability and comfort in knowing that there's, there's, there's peace and wholesome truth, honesty within that relationship and within my family and household.

Bro.

I've really, really pushed myself to find out what I'm capable of and what that capability truly is and means has found me diving into aspects of my life that I didn't think, say pod one, let's call it podcast one. I didn't know that I had the ability or capabilities to find that within my own Persona. I'll find that, that I was actually even contemplating or looking in that realm. And it's through the eyes of high performance father. Not just the knowledge that I've learned from the expert coaching, but more importantly learning through the eyes and the opinions of like minded fathers that are in this space that's allowed me to understand that why are you settling? Why settle? Because you found a level of comfort. Why not find out more about yourself? Why sell yourself short? And that for me was around the 18th month mark where I was like, no, no, no, no, we don't stop here. Now that I'm blessed with a healthy relationship, a loving wife, amazing children that take pride in calling me their papa, I was like, this is not me, this is not enough, job's not done and I need to take action and responsibility of that to really find my true self. I pushed on, I kicked on. I decided to find out more about myself, maybe asked some harder questions of myself. Still very, very much a part of, you know, our family business with, within fruit farming. I love what I do. Thought to myself is, is this just it for me? Why can't I have, why can't I bake the fucking cake and eat it too? Why can't I try something? You and I, we threw some ideas to and from each other. And respectfully, man, not because you're sitting in front of me. You said, I don't know what that looks like, right. The present moment, but you've got more in the tank, bro. Let's find out. Just those words alone. Knowing that pretty much a perfect stranger from only, you know, a couple years ago, um, had that amount of belief in me and he could see something in me that I couldn't, was enough for me to fucking just go into overdrive and really, really push on from finding a level of comfort in being okay, healthy and okay relationship, okay in business. I went to. No, no, fuck that. I want extraordinary, and I want to go. I want more. I really want to see and look back at, you know, age 42 and

go,

I did it. Like, I pushed myself. I really found out what being Naz at 42 years of age had for me, right? What this world had for me, what God had for me. I am a man of faith, and I believe in. In a higher power. And through that, through that alone, it allowed me to open avenues in my own mental bandwidth that created a very, very fulfilling, fulfilling outcome. Shared this at a couple of live events, and I'm more than happy to share here on this L. Because this, for me, is my. This is my. This is my. It. This is my. This is my one true, true love that I found within myself. I went from three years ago, was deep, deep in a pit that I. I didn't feel like my life was worth living to then flipping the script and the narrative off the back of my hard work that I put in for myself. And then Rose, turning around in believing in me, loving me, and knowing that I am truly capable of more and supporting me to pursue that. We extended our family, man, and we brought another beautiful daughter into this world. So, yes, two years ago in that first podcast with two daughters, I did have hair. But now I live with four women and I have no hair. Now I'm trying to compensate for this little thing growing on my chin, but, man, I thank myself every single day that I didn't give up, did not give up, and didn't. Not materialistic things, not financials, didn't give up on me. And that gave me the opportunity to bring another beautiful life form into this world. Um, and my God, she is absolutely phenomenal, as both my daughters are, as all children are. But, God, she lights my eyes up, man, every single day. Every single day.

Amazing. Little Elena born, if memory serves correctly, October 13th last year. Is that right? Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, I remembered.

Very good.

Well, I don't know if the date actually it is, but I promise I didn't peek, but there's a picture of Naz and his family and his beautiful, well now nine month old, but. Or thereabouts. Yeah, well, actually, yeah, she would be past the nine month mark on my vision board of Naz and his family and this beautiful little miracle as soon as he posted it, obviously with your permission, yeah, I printed it and put it up on my wall. Cause it's like, man. And please understand, when I shed light on things that people can gloss over, I'm not some sort of master marketer or trying to promote hpf. I'm here to promote the man. He's a dude who went from ready to jump off a fucking dam and end everything because the marriage is destroyed, lost, drifting in life, overwhelmed two beautiful daughters, to getting his life back on track, getting his together, saving his marriage to now creating new life to also being one of the top coaches because we don't use fucking. Seek.com Naz connects with men on the outside. Your podcast alone has brought so many men on board, but now directly the lives of over 100 men at the time of recording this through the gates, which has helped over 200 children, which means nearly 500 grandchildren born or not born yet. Me, like what a. Like seriously, man, like that is. That's the fucking standard. And I'm not here and I'm not barking or yelling at people listening to this. Whether you remember, not a member, Naz or not, your journey's your journey. But fuck me if you can do it, why wouldn't you? And that's when I. When I look at life and you say the biggest thing that stood out to me then is when you said, I'm so glad I never gave up on myself. For me, that's a never ending fucking game. Like not. I'm so glad I didn't. It's. I'm so glad I don't give up on myself because my number one fucking. And I've got. We got heaps of cool quotes and shit. But my number one thing is never give up.

Right?

But never give up. What. What's the actual. For me, it's never give up on what's fucking possible. That. That's. That's me, bro. That, that's. That's. That's my never give up. Holy fuck. We got some stories and I'll roll them out over the years and we all have stories, but been some. I've been through some crazy shit and it's like, so, like, obviously a man of faith as well, myself, but it's like, yeah, man, like, just have faith in general. Like, like, what? Why not? Why not you? What have you got to lose? What are you waiting for? Yeah, it's like, fuck, man. Like, never give up on what's possible. Does it mean it's guaranteed? Does it mean it's probable? Does it mean it's a given? Of course not.

But.

But why would you give up on that? Remember chatting a hutto? Like, dude, dude's a fucking legend. We're talking about the perfect strike. And it's the pursuit of the perfect strike in martial arts that leads to you living a higher level life. Like, why not shoot for version 10.0? And that's the hard part. Even despite successes, men still give up. They give up on what's possible because they settle and they stagnate. Whereas for you, fuck me, bro. What a turnaround. Like, that is insane. It's not even, hey, yeah, got my life back together. And it's like that in itself is fucking crazy. You've not only done that, you've not only done that, but you've then gone five levels higher. Bringing new life into the world, expanding your career path, your impact through hpf. That's. I fucking love that, man. I was gonna say it's crazy, but I'm like, no, that's a fucking given. If you just go in and apply yourself.

Yeah. And I think. And I think a lot of it comes down to how is. I stopped looking externally for things to make me happy. You know, when I look back and I reflect and it's something that we do often here in high performance. Father and I go through my old journals and, like, the change in. In the way I'm writing to myself is fucking extraordinary. Like, it's. It's crazy alone, but just reading it and following it, I was blaming or chasing my happiness through and from Rose, through and from my daughters, through and from my dad, who's also like a boss to me, through the farm, through you, through everything else. And the minute I fucking realized that my happiness is actually no one else's fucking responsibility, something changed in me. And I thought, why am I depending or blaming them for me not being happy? Get the fuck up. Job not done. Find it within yourself to make yourself happy. And off the back of that, when I started to really focus and hone in on the most important thing and life form was me, all of a sudden Rose was looking at me from a different perspective. Why? Because my happiness was coming from me. And off the back of that, the person that reaped the reward and benefit of that was Rose. And I seen and visually seen her happiness, which made me happy. But where did it come from? What was the anchor? It was me. And that. That for me was just that. That's. That's the ever fulfilling growth, right? I've. I've got no, I've got no fucking. No point in time have I ever thought to myself, oh, I fucking got there. I've got. I see every, Every possibility or, or change that's happened to me, or a level of success, so to speak, is just a checkpoint.

Yeah, completely agree. It's an interesting journey, you know, doing hpf. And every year we evolve. Every year we keep building and growing. Every year the caliber of what's required, raises, which then in turn does lead to, I guess, the type of men maybe refines the word not quite sure. But forget me for a second and look in any industry or anywhere, like, when you see the top performers and world beaters in anything, whether it's sport, business and whatnot, like, they're at the top, they look like they're complacent. It's. It's such a funny di. It's like the dichotomy, man. It's like this, this irony of the people at the top who don't need to be. It is like the dichotomy of ambition. The people at the top who don't need to be. Well, one, that's what fucking got them there. But two, they're hungrier than ever because they fucking get it. They get it. They just. You just spend enough time. That's what I love about the environment with hpf. You spend enough time, you just get it. The people are at the top in this world. They're even hungrier, they're going even harder, they're pushing even faster, pushing even bigger. And whether it's the body that you don't think you can have because of your fat percentage or whether it's the amount of money that you justified, I don't fucking need that. It's not even that. It's a fucking game, mate. Like, whether they keep the money or give it away or build their own charities that are genuine or not genuine, doesn't fucking matter. It's the game. And that's what cracks me up. It's like, how could anyone sit back and settle? When you reflect and look at someone who's so much fucking further along, whether it's family or self or service, for us, it's all three family, self and service and go, yeah, no, I'm sweet. It's like, what do you mean? You're straight away by default telling yourself that I am not fucking enough. And it's not through comparing to other people. It's through, like you said, that internal drive of my own happiness, which is always something that can be built in as a fucking habit and something to look forward to. What more to look forward to than to use this beautiful fucking gift that we have have in life to mold and sculpt the clay to become more tomorrow than you were today. That's got to be the most fucking rewarding thing in the world. Like, I get it. Personal development. Like, it's, you know, it's like the, like the Nigerians over in Italy selling you fake Louis Vuitton shit. Like, I get it. There's everywhere and there's fucking genuine stuff everywhere. But ultimately, when you develop yourself, you're developing the most greatest asset in life that life itself has bestowed upon you, which is you. Your identity, how you operate, your belief systems, and the mark that you leave in this world. What have you learned, man? You've had a lot of consults now where you've connected with men on the outside. Helped a lot, you know, Helped a lot take that step. It's like, well, you know, like, if you're not willing to go all in and come to the party, don't want your fucking money. Like, that's not what this is about. But it's, are you committed? Are you all in? Are you ready? And you've helped. Like I said, many fucking men do that, mate, which is phenomenal when they've been in a time of need and they've needed direction and certainty and belief. Because you're right, sometimes we need to borrow other people's courage and belief before we can restore our own. And that's what I love about you and your journey. And now look at you like, the pathway to receiving is giving, man, and you're doing it in full swing. It's phenomenal. But, yeah, what have you seen? What have you noticed? What have you learned, man, over the last couple of years and especially last six months, where I've really seen your

growth accelerate, I think the biggest, I think the biggest thing that I've come to learn and appreciate is self love. Self love is something, is, is, is your one absolute. It's your truest form of, of honesty. Because when you can honestly look at the man that's looking back at you in the mirror and say, I'm actually doing right by me. There's no. There's no. There's no higher power. That's. That's the. That's the biggest thing that I've learned, especially over the last six months, because we all have stories, right? And the consults. What's taught me the most is, is there are so many men out there. It's an epidemic, right? It's a pro. It's a major problem. Right? So many men out there are just finding comfort or allowing themselves to believe that their subpar lifestyle is. Respectfully, I'm not trying to be rude or abrupt here, but it's fucking okay. And that. That's all they deserve in life. Well, it's fucking not okay. It's not. It's not okay to just turn around and, and go, oh, you know, it's. It's. It's hard for me. I'm. I'm 20 kilos overweight. I'm, you know, small business owner. I'm fucking stressed out. I'm tired. I'm. Business, you know, business is doing okay, but, you know, I just don't have time. Well, no, you do have time. You choose not to. What? You're not changing. You're choosing right. Choose your fucking hard. Choose the right hard. Right? And you wonder why your wife doesn't love you or appreciate or respect you while she's trying to get dinner organized and fucking the kids running around. It's absolute chaos. My wife loves to call it witching hour. Right, well, you're sitting on the fucking couch, having a beer, overweight, and then blaming the world for your problems. No, that's not okay. Be the man you were born to be. Everybody in this world is born with greatness. It's that 99% of us choose not to fucking find out what that greatness is.

Oh, yeah, but that's not been, though, Naz. I'm only 8 kilos overweight, and I only sleep with my wife, you know, and I still get sex with my wife once every two months, man, so maybe it's not too bad.

You keep telling yourself that, man, and that's what. And, and, and. And this is the world you will live in, right? You'll live in that little bubble that serves no purpose, right, that. That you will live in with regret when that point in time comes that you reach that line in the sand, right? This is. This is the thing that I've learned and mate, you know, and I. And I thank. Thank God that I've been blessed with this opportunity from you, Alex. Because it's opened my eyes to see that so many men aren't willing to actually take ownership of that responsibility of that happiness, you know, take ownership of, okay, I need to. And this is where I'm going back to finding that true sense of self love, right? I need to find that true sense of honesty with the man that's looking back at me in the mirror to say, no, I need to love myself. I love myself too much to go sit on the couch and have that beer. I'm going to help my wife, right, and help myself first. But take the kids for a walk to the park and run around with them. So I do a bit of cardio. I get to spend some quality time with the kids. And my wife isn't living in absolute fucking chaos while watching her husband that supposedly deserves love and respect sit on the couch and fucking drink his life away, right? Choose the right hard choose to do what I just said or choose the other hard and sit on the couch and blame the world and play victim. Well, I know which hard I'm going to choose every fucking day of the week. And that's the difference between level of complacency and comfort in what we're all facing or the men that decide to step up. And it like, again, I say it very, very often. Doesn't have to be high performance, father, right? You, you, you, you walk your own fucking path, right? This is it. Where I found mine, I found my true calling through this vehicle. But one of our tenants deny normal, yeah? Yes, sir. Every single fucking day I live and breathe that, right? What my normal is and what your normal is might be two totally different things. But we both should have that same motive of driving ourselves personally to a better tomorrow. Yeah,

I completely agree, man. But I don't drink beer. I'm working extra. I'm doing extra hours in the office trying to provide for my family. Well, mate, look, here's some fucking food for thought. What have you done to develop yourself to have the right recruitment processes in place, coupled with your communication skills and leadership so you can buy back some of your fucking time and replace the shit that you shouldn't be fucking doing with someone else. So. So whether it's business, coaching or professional, like everything, everything affects you personally. Like family, self and service. The. The circles all fucking interlap or overlap each other in that sweet spot in the middle is you and I. I guess like the hard part, man, is you we all fall prey to justifying the reasons why we haven't stood up for the day Even if that comes looking at a previous track record of how hard I worked yesterday, it's like, yeah, you know, be measured and intentional in your approach. Burnout comes from a lack of purpose or a lack of wellbeing as an organism. But if those two aren't in dire straits, well, fuck, mate, like, you're pulling the chain a little bit, right? You're potentially falling victim to something, which I really hope. I look back one day, Naz, when I'm an old man at some of these podcasts, and the message is true, which just says, please don't ever be one of those men who looks back in your life with any fucking regret, please, because it's way too late. And it goes so quick. It goes so quick. Karin's already halfway past the halfway mark of our fourth mate. That baby's going to be here before we know it. And she said, and Stella turns nine in a couple of days. And. And Quinn said, what would you tell your younger self? And that was a tough period of my life. Always wanted to be a father, but it was just so hard before she was born and while she was born. And that's what led to the breakdown in hbf. And I said I would tell my younger self, don't be afraid to play the long game.

Yes, sir.

And keep building who you can become. Have faith in that. Because time goes pretty quick anyway. So it's not the quick fix. And that's what led to the marriage breaking down. I was looking for the quick hits of whether dopamine, significance, escapism, escaping the world. I'm gonna triple down on work because at least I'm important. There's all these little things led me away from this absolute two sides of the same coin. When you mentioned self love, it all, it led me away from all of that two sides of the same coin. Guys, when Naz mentioned self love, and you already mentioned this, but when you went through and spoke about it, the very first thing that come to mind when you mentioned it, mate, was you can't develop self love if you first don't take ownership. And when you said that, I was like, that's bang on, man. So you talk about love yourself. No, it's not Kumbaya and man buns and other shit. No disrespect if your boys have a man bun, but. But, you know, it's not. It's not. Again, it's not an external thing. Self love isn't an external sensation that drives your emotional levers which says, I'm giving myself a Break this weekend. And, and there's music and, and you know, there could be, you know, different scents, like using your senses or there's all these aromas in the air. I'm using all these things to chemically just put me in a state of euphoria. No, no, no, no, motherfucker. Self love. Actually the pathway to that is ownership. Because when you own every thing, the good, the bad, the ugly inside of your life, you then have permission to actually own the fact that it is me. This is my time, my life. And I can develop a level of self respect, appreciation, because now the ball is in my court. I've got control, I've got choices, I've got options, and I'm doing it the right way. Like you go saying you can't love yourself without taking ownership is my point.

You know, that's the truest form of honesty.

It's crazy. It's crazy. You know, guys, this is. I want this to be an invigorating and, and, and, yeah, heartfelt. But I want this to be a thought provoking or maybe a personally confronting session for you men because again, I look at my life and I'm like, fuck. I just, I really hope that our version 10.0 does come into existence and I am doing enough. So it's not that I act out of fear, but it really is hope is seeing something that. And moving and wanting towards something that you can't live on alone, but something that doesn't quite exist yet. So you can't just live on hope alone. But it's like, man, why not? Why can't I fucking push the boundaries? Why can't I keep going and growing and trying to become more? And I never want to have that moment of regret where I'm like, yeah, this is enough and I'm settled and I'm enough to become more. But what I have done is not enough for what I want to do. Like, it's so fucking simple. Like I look at it in life, it's super fucking simple. Life gets complex. They try and swallow you up. Whether it's family, self or service. The agenda of the world. And life swallows up most men fucking whole. They just cave in so easily and it's tough and they're alone, they're isolated. They don't have a great cohort around to drive them. But, But I'm like, why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you? What's holding you back? Like you said, choose your heart. Do you want hard now and better later or easy now and impossible Later, I just. He said, I don't know, man. I'm not sure what our 8.0 looks like because I'm not him yet, but I really hope and pray that I become him. And I look back and listen to some of these old episodes, I'm like, nah, you did have it, man. You had enough drive. Like, if anything, that's a good fear to have. Where I'm like, am I actually not pushing hard enough? Not intensity? Am I actually lining things up and ambitious enough and pursuing what it is that I can become? Because without them, mate, look, without that vision, there is no purpose and just drift. You just drift, mate.

It's something that I find of true value. Alex, is. Is defy. Defy success. What am I measuring my success up against? What against, you know, yourself, the guy down the road? But my, My. My measurable level of success compared to somebody else's is so many variances in that. Because what I see is successful and what you see is successful. Maybe two totally different things. But why wouldn't you want to be in an environment that allows you to stay in a space that success is of an abundance? There are so many different levels and layers to finding out what success actually really means. So that's what keeps me wanting more and keeps me driven to stay in this space. Because I think, well, I've said it to you. Why can't I reach for the fucking stars every single day? And if I fall short on that level of success, I'm still flying anyway. But I need to be in an environment that allows me to do so. So, you know, thinking that you've got it all or you need to change your environment when it's giving you something to measure your level of success up against. I don't understand why. Why you'd want it, why you'd want to leave a space that's allowing you to grow and find out what you're truly capable of, what gives you the opportunity to see that sense of ability? Because in my eyes, and in my opinion, my opinion alone, with all due respect, that means you've. You checked out. And that's. That's a finish line. I'm sorry, man. Finish lines. When you're going to the next life, that's the finish line. I'm not willing to. I'm not willing to settle for, you know, for. For complacency until that day comes. It might be tomorrow, so why not reach for the stars today?

Never thought of that before as well. There's an abundance of success in HPF that Does make it a very attractive thing. I mean I, you know, being in the. Being in, well, being in it since they died. Sometimes I get, I guess I get a bit biased towards HBF and, and not complacent by any means because it's my one tribe. But, but it's like a given, right? Of course, of course there's an abundance of success, but that's a valuable thing in a world that's shot to shit, where men, despite their best efforts, might feel like they're failing even if it's not a direct, tangible measure. Indirectly and subjectively, society is telling them they're not enough. That's fucking hard too, man. Like, men have it so tough. It's such a tough slog for men and women because then it's the, the man and the woman turn against each other and there's just, there's dangerous, It's a very dangerous world moment with how people's perceptions can change and beliefs and then things just fall to shit. It's sad. But I guess for me I've got a little picture here of my son running and I'm in the background and he's smiling and so happy. And that was already two years ago. He's nearly five. And I guess a question that might be valuable for all of us to ask ourselves is, is the standard that I'm currently setting something I would be proud of my son if he was setting the same. And in what I'm accepting and where I've set the bar and settled, would I be happy if my son did the same? Like it would kill me, man. Like it would. I don't know about. And I could be wrong, but fucker would eat me up if I saw my son with no ambition going from this high flying superstar, crushing it. And then he's. He's 38 or 41 or 42 and I'm an older man in my 60s and 70s and he just stops. Like I'd be fucking heartbroken, man. Like I talk about regret, right? And I talk about this with you guys on. You never want to be laying on your deathbed, blah, blah. I want to be laying on my deathbed with no regrets across life. Not my own life. Oh yeah, but I did enough. Or they're their own adults and that fucking bullshit, man. We're all born with a blank slate. You might have older children, you can still turn things around, you can still improve things, you can build brick by brick, you know, goes pretty quick. You might have disconnects from which will be tough and Likely. We'll all likely have the same. It's quite a common thing with teenage daughters from roughly 12 through to 18, 19, 21. We've had men who've been with us seven years have gone through that, and their daughters turn around now they're young women going, oh, thanks so much for putting up for all the shit, dad. You know, because that's tough stuff the girls go through hormonally. But I want to be on my deathbed, not even looking at my life, but looking at what I've instilled with the level. The level of ambition and hunger to become. So much so that overwhelming abundance of success and ambition and aspiration in my life has gone on to my son, where he never, like, we all falter, but he never has that point where he just fucking cuts away and that's it. I'm done. Because it crushes me, man. I saw that in my own father for 14 years, and now it's 70. Or like 65, 66. Got the fire back. That's awesome. I love seeing that in the old man. But I was like the typical thing from like 48 through to like 63, 64. It's like, ah, pups, what's going on, man? It's like, you're my hero. But he still is my hero, because without that dude doing what he did, coming over on the boat as an immigrant to a foreign speaking country and earning his stripes, I wouldn't have the opportunity I have today. So he still is my fucking hero. If not through that period of time where I felt like I lost my father in being that ambitious North Star, for me to pursue and follow, certainly for what he did previous. But I don't know, Naz. I don't want to give up 14, 15 years of my life, and I don't want to leave things to chance. Not that I'm saying I needed my father to show the way for me to be successful as a young man at that stage. I was in my 30s and late 20s, but. But no, no, I want to be laying on my deathbed going, look at my fucking son, look at my daughters, and look at what I have instilled. It's not about the life I live, you know, legacy is living it forward. It's. You're leaving in other people. It's leadership, man. And when you draw that line and no longer continue to drive who you can become, if not in that moment, at some stage, whether you ever realize it or not, you actually have lost. You've lost, man. You fucking lost you're not a loser.

You've just lost.

You've lost the opportunity. You've lost what could be. And it's hard for all you men listening out there. It's really hard. Takes hope, takes faith, takes trying to see something that can't be seen yet. I'm a massive visionary and that's helped many men like Naz being one of them. Let me see for you what you can't see yet. And then you will see the same. How the fuck can you do that on your own? I can't do it on my own. And I'm very fucking successful in family, self and service. I was like, oh, wow, it's crazy, man. But I look at my little boy there, I'm like, mate, I just. That's what I love most about you, man. Your ambition, your hunger has not fucking faltered at all. You have not even slowed down. And that's attractive to me, Naz, because that's how I roll. And I really. And this isn't about playing favorites with members. I fucking love all the men in hpf. And sometimes it takes 18 months to unlock that. Sometimes 18 days, sometimes 18 fucking minutes after they've signed up and they're ready to rock and roll. They've had that epiphany. But, yeah, man, it's something we've got to see. Greater than ourselves is the standard I'm setting something I'd be proud if I saw my son doing it. And if the answer is yes and you haven't opened all doors and asked all questions, my question to you then is, how do you know that's the most that he could provide, the most he could be, the most he could do? What are some things that come to mind with you, man? You've helped a lot of men. What are some common challenges? I guess challenges, insights. What are some things that you. You see as really tough points for a lot of these men? They need to focus on, I guess, points of advice, tips, feedback on, on men in the world today and where they're struggling, what they need to start developing.

Take ownership. Take ownership and rid yourself of that self doubt, man. It's. It's so toxic out there. Like, like, we can talk about feminism, we can talk about the lbgt, we can talk about all this. That. That doesn't serve us as men. And, you know, but then you've got men, like, look at, look at, look at the toxicity Andrew Tate's sending out. So it's like men, Men are right. It's about finding your tribe, finding the Right environment to give you the right energy. Right. To not leave it until you are on your deathbed, to look back on life and go, no, I did myself. Right? Right. Take every day as it comes and make sure that when you lay your head to rest at night that you can take pride in that actual fucking day. One step at a time, minute by minute, day by day, week by week. And then as you start growing and you start learning the importance of staying in control of the now, it gives you more and more opportunity to instill the right things in your children. Self doubt, man. If, if like sometimes talking to these guys with respect, it comes from a really, really good place in my heart because I've been in their shoes. I've sat in, you know, there's so many guys that I, that I'll take the consults with and I see them sitting in their ute or sitting in their car and I. And every single time they're in their vehicle, I get goosebumps straight away because I sat in my car when I took my call and I was on that other end and I was like, this guy doesn't even know where home is. For him to take a call, find peace somewhere. He's got to hide the fact that he's eating himself up. There's a beast, a savage beast inside of him that is destroying him. Right. And I've come to realize for these men, there's a huge difference between blame and responsibility. They can blame themselves or blame external relationships, blame childhood trauma, or they can take ownership like you mentioned, or take responsibility within their actions to change these outcomes, to change these opportunities that are going to instill life lessons in their children and even in some forms in their wife, that is going to give the family dynamic a better outcome. That, that's the thing that scares me the most, is that so, so many men that I'm talking to don't, don't actually see how valuable they are in this world. That frightens me because I know what it felt like. And I don't want that for any man. I don't want that for any human being, full stop. But as men, we're meant to lead. How can we lead when we have so much self doubt? Because that energy is felt by the people closest to us. So that's. That, that's definitely something that, you know, if you can take anything out of anything that I've said within this podcast, Step outside yourself for one minute and have a look how much self doubt you have within yourself and know that, know this, you do have the ability, take ownership, be a man of your word, deny normal, choose the right fucking hard and take action and responsibility for your pursuit of happiness. You take that one step forward and the weight of the world will feel a hell of a lot lighter. But it comes with finding that self love and true belief that you are capable and have the ability to be more. And every man does. It's whether or not they're willing to put the work in to go get it.

What an incredible insight. Incredible insight, man. And piece of advice for everyone listening. We're just warming up. So that's part one. We'll see you boys for part two shortly. I've got some cool things to dive in with you, Nazareno Santoro. But yes, looking forward to part two. So men, keep your eyes peeled and open. That'll be in the next podcast episode and we'll upload them both at the same time so you'll see it in a second. Well, that wraps up another episode and just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you, and then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember. And make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day, night, weekday weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.