275. The Greatest Relationship Code in the World (Part 2)

Hey, if you're someone who really connects to this message and you know there's someone out there who needs to hear this, but they're too proud. The walls are up. You can't show them. No worries. Flick them the link, share this podcast, send them the link. They can listen to it in the car, in the comfort of their own home, behind closed doors, in private privacy. Listen, absorb, and you know, you are creating impact to change. There are so many people in pain who need to hear this message, who need to empower themselves, take their control and power back and get back in front. Appreciate you all much respect. Enjoy the episode and again, share the love, spread the love, and let's create impact and change across the world. Cheer. Alrighty, part two. Here we are. The greatest relationship resource, the greatest relationship document, field manual, guide, compass you'll ever have in your life. I hope part one served you well, men. In this session, we're going to quickly reiterate part one, but then dive straight into this part, which is around the strategies and the tactics. The strategies is really. Yeah, situational, but more the how to. And because, you know, it's not just having the information and it's not just applying. It's. It's how you do it. How you do things is what really matters. And then the. That's what we talk about, like the chief, you know, Viking and Panda. That's the energy, right? The how. Then some tactics, giving you some examples so you can take away. Look, your wife isn't a checklist. Neither is your children. Neither is your life. However, it would serve you best to also have examples of what are the actionable steps I can take. So I don't think this will be as big or as long as the foundational one. The foundation is everything that's really, really important because that is like. That's like your lag measure. That's like, okay, here's my feedback loop on where I'm missing the mark and where I'm winning. Let's rip through those. Right? So mission first, very first thing. Your life has direction beyond the relationship or any relationship. Any relationship, man. Like with hpf, whether I'm paying you money or you're paying me money, you know, whether you're a member of the team, the coaching staff, or a valued client, it doesn't fucking matter. We're all here on this mission. This mission is bigger than all of us. That's. That's. It's not. A customer is wrong. It's not. A customer is always right. It's. That Beautiful balance of buying into something larger than ourselves as individual. That's an attractive thing that carries a weight of importance and responsibility and buy in from all parties involved. So mission first. That's a big one, man. Do I have actually a mission and a purpose inside of this life? My mission of my purpose is not my children, it's not my wife. That's not just hbf. It's like it's looking at your life as a whole. And what is the purpose that I want as a man, as a husband, as a father, as a leader, as a leader. All of them, all of the above. They all play a role. But that means that even if you looked at that like as a man and yourself and pouring into your own cup, as a husband, as a father, as a leader. Let's say it's a quadrant, right? Four types. Like, okay, well, your wife's 25%. That doesn't mean all parts are equal to in time. Like, I don't need to spend 12 hours a day. Sorry. I don't need to spend six hours a day with my wife, six hours for myself, six hours with the kid, six hours working. Yeah, that's just understanding that no one person in your life should ever be greater than your mission, your calling and your purpose. That's man that. Don't ever lose sight of that. And you might be like, oh, yeah, of course. That makes sense. Yeah. But are you showing that? Are you applying that? Is that something you're applying in your action, in giving feedback to your family and how things are traveling with your health and fitness journey with your business or place of work? The progression you make. There's with having a nice contrast. Not comparison, but contrast on. Hey, we did special time with Roman. You know what we did, Stella? We went out the back and we were playing with the dogs and we played this special chasing game and we set up a little circuit. And this is not comparing, but it's also including involving other people inside of your mission. You know, sharing with Karim what I do with the kids and kids, what mummy and daddy do to spend time together and obviously keeping it above the belt. But you get my point. It's like, man, the mission, my mission in life. In life. Big, big, big, big emotional sovereignty. Huge, huge. You control your state. She's not holding your leash. What does that mean? Well, if she's. Shit's hitting the fan and she's, you know, and it's not a fault either. It's just part of life. Emotional outputs. Stressful or happy, either way, you're fucking solid, man. You're on the level. Like, can one individual influence another? Absolutely. Have a look at what we're doing here. But also, it takes two hands to clap without you men taking this, applying it. Or men or women or some of the guys have their kids listening now, which is awesome. Just easy on the. On the episodes with swears, which is most of them maybe wait till they're a teenager. But ultimately, when you've got someone inside of your life that you're. That you're connected to and you're building your life with, it helps you realize that, hey, it does take two ends to clap. So I can influence my wife, just like my wife can influence me. But they're both choices. They're all choices. Women and children, as beautiful as they are, they can be volatile at times more than us because of the way that they're wired with their hormones and their emotional state. And that's a beautiful thing. Otherwise we're just head down, bum up robotic mode, folks. And then we swing the other way and go crazy emotionally. So we need that balance as well to help us regulate our mission and meaning and purpose in life. As opposed to just being logic or just being emotion. You can have a beautiful, beautiful dance of both. They play that role. But who's leading the dance? You and your wife are leaders. Your children are leaders. They're teaching you things. But emotional sovereignty is important because as a man who's got the mission and emotional sovereignty, he can step back, slow things down, assess the situation, good, bad and the ugly, and ensure the direction and clarity. Clarity on where the direction is taking the team, the family, the couple is clear and understood. Clarity on the direction. Yep, totally understand. Clear. That's exactly what will happen. Strength in presence, physical, mental, spiritual power fell to the moment you enter the room. It's not just. It's not a gazing stare, it's not having big muscles. It is literally an aura and a posturing that you carry. Like, I am the man. I'm rock solid. Life is filled with unknowns. But I don't carry like a turtle with a shell on its back, this, this weight, this baggage of uncertainty, of fear, of regret, of sorrow, of. Of worry. No, no, man. It's like, win the fucking moment, win your life, be present in the now and carry that presence in strength. Like my old man taught me, always come from a position of strength. Anytime I have it in life, man, I felt so small, so small, so weak, so helpless. What changed? Nothing. Externally, it was all internal. That's what strength in Presence means decisive leadership. You make clear decisions and hold the frame under pressure. Because if you can maintain a steady lens in how you see the world, the situation, what will happen if you do, what will happen if you don't, the variables and the pathways you can take and then the logical outcomes of the actions you will take and decisions you make, you will be a renowned leader that is valued and respected through your wife's eyes and the family, instead of just fucking chaos, chaos, chaos. Like I've said in a couple of podcasts now, man, like in coaching sessions with the team, if you write two out of three times, that means you only need to be right 70 to 90% of the time with every decision you make. 70%, that's a pretty low bar, mate, pretty low bar. Time to buy three decisions. You've got 210% out of 300%. You've been right twice, you've been right twice as much as you were wrong. But guess what? You fucking stood for something. You made a decision and you followed through on it. That's more valuable than being right or wrong. That's why decisive leadership matters. Those four are very, they're very big, the big pillars on you as a man. Then mystery and growth. You keep evolving. You never let her fully have you figured out, you know, predictability kills spark, growth keeps her curious and engaged. So couple that with plain lightness, fun, laughter, moments of levity woven into the relationships, little ups and downs, little pockets of teasing, mystery, playfulness, pursuing something of your own accord. Oh, you're learning guitar now. Oh, you're going to the driving range, you're going to learn how to play golf. Anything, man. You know, you bought a Lego kit and you're going to show your kids how to build that mechanics Lego set. So they've got a cool little excavator digger that can work. And yeah, I'm going to learn this as well. How old? I'm going to share that and have a dad venture with my son. It's a 10 hour build, so we'll break it into a few sessions. How good? Like you're just always in pursuit of growth and that's not always driven through, quote, unquote, professional development, even hpf. I see it as leadership development. Not, not so much personal development because it goes into all the buckets, what you're doing inside of these walls of HPF or even this podcast and applying it, it goes into every bucket, man. It's not simply communicate better. Learn how to negotiate with your family or your children, understand what A dadventure is learn how to have more intimacy with your wife, how to make more money with business, how to be fitter and healthier, how to lose fat, how to build muscle. It's fucking all the buckets. Leadership, man, leadership. What is the energy I can express that has a higher level of value and worth that I can give to. I love this beautiful post it note on my computer. How much can I give with the time that I have left? You can't have that if you're not growing right. Life is always exponentially going to be more resistant and harder year on year. So you need to grow at a higher rate than that resistance. If the resistance is 8, 10, 12, 15%, which means every seven, eight years people go through that cycle and then shit hits the fan and they have a massive downturn, well then you need to supersede that. Maybe you need to grow 25, 30%. We've got men who grow 300% in 12 months of hpf. And we, we quantify it with of course, qualitative data. That's feedback from loved ones and family and a sense of the spirit of the man. And then emotional outputs or feedback from those close to him. And then quantitative. What are the repetitions and the tangible actions that he's taken to develop such a large. And you hit such a large return on his time in his growth and who he's become? We call it version 2.0 and version 3.0. You hear that like you grow 1% every day. It's 365% a year. And it's like, yes, you've grown three and a half times the man you are. It's not. You haven't, you haven't grown 365 times. 100% is a complete upgrade. Cool. Three and a half times in a year. But then you can go backwards 1% every day too. And that's. There's no happy ending there, that's for sure. No outcome awaiting you there. That's worthwhile. Mystery and growth. Play and lightness. And then the final two, sexual charge, leading that intimacy. What is something that separates you and your wife from you and anyone else? It's this. It's gotta be men and applying the others mission first. Emotional sovereignty. Play and lightness. Mystery and growth. If you do that, then when you're not, put it on her. But when you do all these little things and flirty and teasy or sleazy or whatever game you want to play them, and then it's met with pushback or Other things and say, well, fuck emotional sovereignty, man. Unshakable. That's sweet. All good. Excuse me. What makes you think that I was gonna make love to you tonight? You think you'd be that lucky? I've got other things to do. Right. I have said that before. But look, just, just. That's just playfulness, man. This is being a little bit of smart. Just taking. Taking the heat, taking the intensity out of the intent, you know, not all things in life should be done at high intensity. But if the intensity is a volume and a desire for the end game, having sex, take a bit of the heat off, take a bit of that intensity out of it. I didn't even see sex as a byproduct anymore. In your relationship, it's merely a process. Because you're not going to be one and done forever either, are you? So it's not like it's even an end game or a byproduct, actually, just a process of connecting. So imagine you've got these big, big loops. You open the loop, close the loop, and on these loops, all these rings. Look at these big circular rings. They have all these little diamonds on them. And they're all. Just relax. Is it a poster note maybe? Is it. Hey, you're doing a great job. I'm really proud of you. You're a phenomenal mother. And I'm glad you're the mother of my children. And then you walk off and you go to work like it'll be anything. Is it flowers? Yeah, maybe that. Maybe it's all these little diamonds and sex could be down the bottom or three ways through. Or could be four diamonds. It doesn't matter. It's part of the process. It's just one of the points of affection. It's. Is it climatic? Sure. The dopamines, the outcome, the physical connection, you know, it's coupled with. It's a beautiful dance of you feeling powerful. So it's power and pleasure in giving. You want to give that plea, of course, but, man, it's sexual charge. It's not, hey, I just want more sex. Micro moments. Keep the micro moments alive. And integrity. Your word is your law, man. If you say it, it's done. So if you can't uphold what you are willing to say and commit to, don't say it, don't commit to it. Will you disappoint people? Maybe. But would you disappoint them more if you committed and didn't follow through? Absolutely. It's like, hey, I'm not saying you shouldn't. Have any expectations of me. But also this here, here and here. I can't give you that, but I can give you those two. And this one. What? This is why a lot of the times men, people just want to know where they stand. They just want to know where they stand. And if you don't have the answer today, the answer today could be, hey, you're going to get the answer at this stage here. Then again, they know where they stand, both in timeline and outcome. Timeline and outcome. That's a recap. Let's move into the strategy. There are three key things here in the strategy, so I'm gonna walk you through these and. Oh, sorry, four. How's. Oh, you know. There is four. Absolutely. The Viking panda balance. Let's start with that. How the Chief holds the frame. The Chief doesn't swing between a tyrant and a pushover. He masters both edges of the masculine spectrum and. And knows when to wield which. The Viking. As we've spoken before in other time, that may be withdrew for another episode. Who knows? There are three characters. The the Seafarer, the Farmer and the Mountaineer. That'll be a brilliant episode which expands on the Chief, but I'll save that for another time. Yeah. The Viking is your protector, right? The Conqueror, the protector. That's right. Just making up new words and shit. It's the protector. I'm the commander and I put the fucking foot down. I protect and provide for my family. I'm decisive, I'm unshakable. I do not allow chaos, disrespect or threats inside of my kingdom. I do not tolerate bullshit and I call it and see it how it is. See it how it is and call it for what it is. No rose colored glasses here. That can run a risk of being too candid. It's why you shouldn't stay in Viking mode. Obviously, that's probably my weakness. I would say I'm a big panda at heart, but I'm extremely candid to the point it is an undercurrent of my obsession for growth, which means I detest waste, which means, hey, the fucking clock's ticking, men. I don't want to waste another minute. I'm going to be careful of that and I understand that. So it's something I'm working on. And it's not one of those, hey, my weakness is really a strength how most people say it. No, it is a weakness. I'm already direct enough. It's the control of the candid nature and its application, which is a weakness that I work on every single day. But it's a beautiful thing, man, and it's something that a lot of men need to apply a lot more of it in their life. The panda, yeah. Playful, affectionate, emotionally warm. Pandas are big and strong, beautiful. I mean, they could crush you and me, but they are. You've seen their nature before. Give me the bamboo stick, I'll roll around, I'll play with the tire. And like, it's, it's the lovable, that more passive, going with the flow, building safety, laughter and intimacy. Love, like all that sort of stuff, just free flowing. That doesn't mean just intimacy alone is a panda trait either, by the way. But, yes, you know, there's, there's love and affection thriving inside of the four walls that the Viking has built. The Viking holds the line. The panda makes her want to stay inside it. For fathers, this means you're leading both your woman and your children, setting the tone of the house, protecting its energy and ensuring it's a place of safety and joy. Yeah, couldn't agree more. I mean, I wrote it, but yeah, just reading through this with you guys now, it's like, how can I be the chief? Which is where I can walk, that delicate, beautiful balance. I'm not bipolar. It's not like my kids are fearful. They don't know what they're going to get. My children. We spoke about this the other day. I've got to get Corinne on, too, before she pops as well with the baby for an episode. So we're booking that in. I think it'll be the next one, hopefully. Remember chatting to Krim about this? I'm like, I don't want my children to be afraid of me. So I've asked my kids before, are you afraid of Daddy? You afraid of Daddy? And you just get mixed mismessages sometimes, you know, it's like, oh, yeah, when. When we've done something wrong, I'm like, oh, that's good. You are fearful of discipline and doing the wrong thing. You're part of a tribe, you're part of a cohort. You're afraid of Daddy right now. THEY GIGGLE no, of course you shouldn't be. Daddy's talking to you and having fun and tickling tummies or playing or building stuff or. Fantastic. But I think there should be, like, you know, not a fear of their father, but a fear of the consequences that can happen in life. Otherwise, what a reckless life. And how are you setting them up for parent for their own life, as a parent, as a human being, as an Adult. Oh, man. Fucking welcome. You guys would all know this whether you went to year 12 or not, university or not. The real world, man, that's. It's cause and effect and then a response, right? It's pretty, pretty straightforward. There's a cause and effect to all the actions and the reasons why those actions are being. Guess what? There's a fucking response. Always. Always. That's why it's important to grab life by the balls. Because some of those responses are through your passive nature and others are through an active nature that is engaging in the wrong things. And you look back, scratching your head, it's like, well, of course those fucking things happen. Look at the actions you were taking and how you operated. So it's this tough. It's this tough one where with the kids and the Viking pan to balance. Being the chief is a beautiful thing. You should never be afraid of Daddy, but you should always be mindful of the actions you take and the consequences. Like when you kick your sister and you're pushing her down the stairs, like that could really hurt her. And obviously walking through that scenario, not that that's happened, although they've had a couple of rough and tumbles off the lounge. I was like, hey, you need to look at what could happen here. And then also, if you're going to operate that way, we're family, we don't talk to each other like that. Are we talking nicely? If not, then there will be some consequences. And you don't make threats, you follow through on promises that align them with the energetic flow of the life force outside of the family home. Otherwise, what a shock, what a shock to reality they're gonna get. So being the chief is walking that beautiful balance of how to be the samurai with his sword sheath. Better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war, all that sort of stuff. Because you need to know at any time when you can pull from that. There's times where I read the room like, oh, I'm a bit too stiff, I'm a bit too much today, a bit too much for the kids. Ok, I'm going to overcompensate here and I'm going to go very fluffy, lovey dovey panda mode with the children and I'm really going to empower them and I'm going to find areas of weakness, so I'm going to go down and crawl and when I'm playing with them and wrestle with them. So what I will do is I will energetic and posturally make myself much weaker and they're going to wrestle me and ah, you hurt daddy and you're so strong. And I'm going to play. Obviously it's not real and they could pick up on that. But then again, they're kids, right? In fantasy and filling their buckets of attention and power, empowering them. And I'll play a very weak, fun, playful, you know, jovial, awesome. They love it. Then the response, recent as the family. Beautiful, brilliant. The wife can submit and relax because everything's energy, you know, that, you know, cut the tension with a knife. Like that exists with a reason and for good reason. The other strategic pillars. So that is, that is like. Well, there, there are three actually, but that is, that's like, that's like the biggest. Not what you do, how you do it. So if we're talking strategy, there's actually three pillars. But that is like the foundation of the way in which you do things. So like, that's like the core. That is at the core. Being the chief is at the core of executing those eight foundational plays. And then these three strategic pillars set the rhythm. Viking leads the calendar and priorities. Panda infuses connection into them. So front loading, right? When are we having honey and handsome time? I'm going to book this, this and this. And some women are very proactive. Some women are hopeless. Like, everyone's wife is their wife. So find that sweet sp where you can take lead, but then also help her initiate and take lead in certain things. Are there times where decision making is stressful for her? Pick different times for us. The weekend's always a beautiful thing. Saturday afternoon or Sunday afternoon, we're planning for the week. Not nighttime, not before the kids or after the kids go to bed. We're like, hey, send the kids off the play something. Come in the office, let's work through a few things, spend 10 minutes. Awesome. It's very low key, very relaxed, easy, done. Beautiful. I'm setting the rhythm for the week. Why it matters. A woman and children thrive in a home where they can relax into a man's leadership. Without your structure, she's forced into the masculine role, polarity collapses and the kids grow up in chaos. Fuck, mate, look, I'm telling you, man, there's nothing wrong with your wife leading. You are the leader, she's the manager. Two different types of leadership. So if she runs a household, great, let her run the household. But who's directing the vision? Who's forecasting the future? They might be leaders in the day, you're leaders in the week, the month, the year, the Life, that's really important. You gotta balance those two. This isn't about squashing your wife and making all the decisions either. It's absolutely about setting the rhythm. So chief moves. Yeah. You're booking and announcing date nights in advance. You're arranging childcare, you're setting up special time and dadventures at times that are critical for her. So hits the fan five, 36 o' clock on a Thursday. She's been working three days and then or four days and Thursday night dinner and all that sort of stuff. So real sweet. Pick that moment between 4 and 6pm to take your kids out. Remove yourselves from the environment. Let her relax into her kingdom or her palace as well. And you remove any possible threats or anything that takes her away from stepping back into a feminine or relaxed state. And at the same time, not about just brownie points. You get to connect with your children. Do a dadventure, take them somewhere, go to the park, whatever it might be. Special time. One by one by one, whatever it is, that's the strategic mood you're setting. Family rituals. Okay, cool. Well, you know what? Thursday's a shit fight. So this is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna take the kids to every Thursday and there's that beautiful pizza joint. They do real nice quality pizza. Doesn't hit heavy on us. That can be our takeaway. Why does it have to be Friday night? Fucking Thursday nights. Tonight, done. And then Friday nights I'm actually going to cook and I enjoy barbecue. So I'm going to cook a barbecue tomorrow night. But every Thursday, moving forward, you're going to take the kids to the park, we're going to come home with pizza. They sound good. All right, fantastic. Done. So you're setting family rituals as well. Man, I love that word, rituals. But as men, we think that it ties just to us on a personal level. No, what about your family rituals? Rituals with your children, with your wife as a family unit, as one. That's awesome. And then blocking sacred time, that's not just with your wife and your children, it's actually blocking sacred time for you as well. Hey, just so you're clear, this Tuesday morning, I'm out. This Thursday afternoon between 2 and 4, I'm actually going to get a massage because my neck's tired. I've got this, this and that. And like you're actually blocking your sacred time, but you're also communicating that. You're setting the rhythm of expectations as well. This is what you can expect from. This is where I have nothing to Give. I'm unreachable, uncontactable. I'm at the gym or I've got this meeting with work, or I'm traveling or I'm flying on this day. I just front loading that, Front loading that into your communication, into your calendar, into her calendar. There's no such thing as one and done. Men, we learn this with our children. How many times I need to ask you, or however many it takes. Fuck. When I hear that, I really check myself. So I don't say that to my kids. Or as little and least as possible. But I look back, I'm like, hang on a minute. My children are 9, 6 and 5. How many times did I get asked at 9 years of age to do something and I still didn't do it? Oh, mate, how much time do you have? Limitless. So many times. Yet you're an adult, so you're seeing through the eyes of an adult that's now wiser, more experienced. And you have the same expectations of your child who's nine or six or five. And this is delicate too, man. You gotta be careful. Like, you're harder on your sons than you are on your daughters. I am. I'm harder on Roman already than I am on the other side. I'm like, man, little dude's only five. I'm not hard on him, but I'm harder on him than I am on the two girls. I try and be as loving and guiding and filled with warmth as possible. But also I challenge him. I challenge him as a little dude with like muscles and wrestling and push ups and things that just. Yeah, mate, fucking stroke. The masculinity he's going to step into, man. He's going to be a big, strong, powerful man. So I challenge him. Little areas that at the time, like right now, it's fun for him. It's a game he doesn't know. The agenda is twofold. Say, I want to connect with my son and do this, but also, son, I'm developing some valuable traits that are going to see you well through your life as you get older. Blocking sacred time, that's important. So setting the rhythm, setting the rhythm for you, your family, what you will be in to and for your family, where your family is connected to you in your life, mate. It's awesome. Like, you want control in your life. Stop trying to get fucking control over all this other bullshit that doesn't matter. There's so many people, so many men, but people in general, try get control over your own calendar, man. Big yeses, big no's. Like there are times where people will reach out and I'll just ignore them. I don't have the bandwidth, I don't have the time. And I do not want to invest in you before I invest in family, self and service. The end. That's it. And then where there is time, layer it in. Done. Perfect. That's the chief man. That doesn't go unnoticed. I promise you that, mate. They pay attention. Your wife sees that and is like, wow, this man's fucking. This dude's bulletproof. He's disciplined, he's committed. He says no. What does that mean? When she sees you say no, you gotta be careful is why it goes for everyone. Because if you say yes to her all the time and no to everyone else, that means, oh, yes. Yep, I'm entitled. And when they see you say no consistently. One, I know what I'm going to get with him. Like he's a consistent discipline member. Two, that means he's not always accessible or not always accessible at certain levels, which means I need to value the time I have with him because I don't always have access to him. What. What would that mean for anyone? Like, that's. That's a pretty right, it's attractive thing for anyone. Business, your children, your mother, your father, your brothers, your wife, your clients, your peers. It doesn't mean you posture. All these games, all these bullshits. I know. Set the rhythm, be a leader, set your calendar. Prioritize what matters most and then stick to it. Stop playing games of accessibility. That's fucking bullshit. People see through that. It's about a genuine nature of leading and everything having its place. And when. Not if. When shit hits a fan, you don't replace. You just reposition and you maintain your commitments as best as you can. But you've got such a good foundation, which means there won't be chaos and turmoil. You'll realign a few things. Skill sets will develop, the speed in which you can apply that. And you're on. Keep moving forward. Next one. Control the environment. A Viking removes threats. Pandas create warmth and beauty. Why it matters. Your home's your fortress. If you don't protect it from financial stress. Toxic influences, clutter and constant noise. It erodes love and weakens your leadership. Financial stress, Toxic influences, clutter and constant noise. Control the environment. So whether it's you handling some of the finances, I don't care if your wife's an accountant. Try and take lead on something, man. Anything to do with logic. We're all masculine and feminine too, by the way, we've obviously got to blend. It's just what source you tapping into? So. So anything to do with logic at a strong level, accounting, numbers, maths. It's a very masculine energy. Very masculine energy. So when your wife's doing all sort of stuff, she has to switch gears. She has to internally, literally shift her energetic makeup and rhythm. So try and handle that. And like people say separate work and home, I think it's all one. I think it is all connected. So it's not about that. I just separate my work, businesses, business and families. It's like, no, no, it's not about that. Because even though you separate it, what happens at business can still fuck you up at home. You don't talk about business, but what about your attitude? What about what you fucking drag through the door? Like you can absolutely still damage your family even without speaking a word about business. It's not separating business and work. It's where do I control my perspectives, my choices, and the levers inside of my life? You had a shit day at work. You've been punched in the face. Okay, don't drag that through the door. You've had a great day at work. You want to share it? Okay, share it. If there's something of value, like, we talk about, I talk about providing value, all these podcasts or anything, or just being valuable in the world or in the marketplace in a business sense. Or like, since when did we think for a second, because we've got kids that are our blood or not, or we got children under our roof and we've got a wife who's got a ring that we feel entitled to be respected and valued without giving any value. Like, I understand, like, my wife is my wife and she's a woman and I'm a man, but. So she might have a different perspective on things at times. When it comes to processing, not whinging or complaining, but processing problems and drama and challenges and listening, being a sounding board, supporting, I get all that. But you coming to a household, bringing all your fucking baggage and mess, how is that valuable to any of your family members? We've got the king of the castle here. We've got the fucking big dog who's coming in, showing how shaky and how fucking unstable he is. Now, the opposite isn't true either. Oh, so I just come in and I don't shed a tear, and I just, you know, go to aisle four in Bunnings and buy a can of concrete and. No, no, not at all, man. Like, you have three families in your life. You have the family that you were raised with, that you come from. You have the family that you build and create. And you have the family of brotherhood, of men around you on your corner who you can go out and fucking hunt with and work through all the chaos, turbulence, turmoil, challenges, victories and spoils that comes with life and hunting as a man. That's the family most of you are missing. You don't have a family of brothers that have got your back, that you can share in confidence without any judgment, without any concern, who are walking the same path as you, who can help you with the solutions. That's. That's where you fucking express yourself, mate. And maybe with your family, maybe with your mother and father, maybe with your brothers, I don't fucking know, but definitely not with your family. Like, I'm vulnerable with my family, but I'm not sitting there talking about all these different challenges with work or that or that or this. Nah, man. Like, it's. How am I adding value to their life? Why should my children give a fuck about the stuff that I have to do, man? Like, business is simple, but it's pretty hard work, gents. Like, the stats can show that. Yeah. And we're providing amazing service. I'm proud of what we do. We want to keep going and growing, all that sort of stuff. And so there's always pain. There's pain of decline, businesses dying, there's pain of stagnation, businesses are moving anywhere, which, you know where that next stage goes into decline. And there's pain of growth. There's always a problem. There's growth problems, there's stagnation problems, there's fucking decline or shrinking problems. So it's, what value is that giving my family? I control the environment. So I know this is a bit of a digression from something as simple as handling bills and budgets, but I'm trying to give you a bigger overview of the strategy here in controlling the environment, the household, not bringing shit in that isn't warranted for that environment, that's not valuable to little eyes, ears and mouths that you need to feed and look after with and connect, look after and connect with. That's a really big one. So look at things that add fear, uncertainty, worry, doubt, masculine energy or other like. Like, and ask the question, am I actually providing that energy source to the value of my wife and my kids, or is it really to the detriment because I can't handle it. I can't bottle it up and I need to try and express this so I can then be which you should be. If you're not, then there's bigger problems at play. But be solution driven, not problem focused. And if you don't have a brotherhood man, then you will struggle and your family cops the brunt it of it. If you found it worthy, I'd definitely write that last part. Be a man who's solution driven, not problem focused. Maybe I'll expand on another time, but it's just. It just hit me when I was talking through with the team on we got some crazy evolutions we're rolling out, which is really cool, really exciting, but that comes with problems. And it just flooded into me once in a meeting and I said, and the only problem anyone ever really fucking has is allowing the problem to remain a problem. That's it. Maybe write that one down. Like the only problem a person ever really has in life is allowing a problem to remain a problem. That's the only problem you ever have. Women, it's different of course. Children, it's different of course. As a man, as a leader, that is the only problem you will ever really have. Allowing the problem to remain a problem. Problem with women, sometimes the problem, the solution to that problem is just hearing them out, not having a solution. So I get that. And hopefully that's come through in some of our episodes earlier. Controlling the environment. You're vetting who comes into your home. You're protecting your kids. Energy. If your children have friends who have parents who are not raising them properly and accordingly, protect your children. Fuck all this social influence bullshit. Like it's not. Kids will be kids and they should mix with other kids. No. Why? Why do they need to? How many people in most areas and or industries, how many adult humans really interact with hundreds and hundreds of different other adult humans? Like you look at your place of work or your customers or your clients. Not all industries will have that. Not a lot. No way. So why should our children mix and mingle with hundreds of kids every single year, every single each grade of their school? No, no. If they're areas you can't control, like the schooling environments, that's on you to reassess on what you think is best for them. But when it comes to your own. No man. Like we have had kids who've started to make friendships with kids where we know that the alignment of values is not there or present. And we've made the cut. The end. So fucking what? The children, man. That's your responsibility as an adult. Keep common areas clean and uplifting. So music on, flowers on the table, warm lighting. So these are Things where, look, take pride in your house. Pride of place. Is there something that I want to contribute to? You could be a builder, you could be building things, do Renault. Other things. But also, just typically, do I allow my house to be a fucking pigsty? Or am I someone who's connected to the energy and the flow of the place? Do we work as a team, as a family? We're disciplined on that. Coming back to the other one, setting the rhythm and really building rhythms in the morning and the evenings. Like, we've got great rituals as a family that helps control the environment. Mornings, nighttimes, what we do with, obviously, like, with dinner and all that sort of stuff. So not always, but, like, we'll say some prayers. But then the kids are awesome, so they're in a. Sharing that. Hey, daddy, want to say prayers, Want to be great, Want to show that we're grateful for this, for this food. Oh, amazing. Awesome. What are you thankful for, Roman? He's like, oh, thank you for. Thank you for the dogs, for Minecraft. Like, okay, mate. All right. That's some real things going on there. Thank you for. Thank you for chocolate. Sorry, lollies. No, no, there's other things you can be thankful, man. Thank you for the trees. I love that. That was good. So that's something they have now taken on board. How awesome. Five out of seven times a week, we'll say prayers. And the kids are leading that initiative that's controlling the environment. Controlling the environment's a big one, boys. It's a bit of an anchor of strength in presence. Right, so what are you bringing to the party? And also the integrity. This is what we stand for. We talk about you building your integrity as a man, but. But there's nothing more beautiful in relearning what makes us integral as men than gifting that to our children and showing them. And the skill set is, how can I communicate or convey this in a way they will understand? Because they're not on this podcast with you or me. They might be three years of age. They might be 13 and hormonal. That's what I love about you talk about challenges and the art of mastery. That's what I love about my kids. Every year it changes. Every year it's different. Every year I got to find a different way to articulate the same message or to drill on the foundations or to instill values. All this stuff out there with body counts and all these fucking guys and girls and. And what's it called? Fucking Onlyfans. And. And Tinder. And they're all trying to fuck each other. And. And Corinne's got friends with kids who are a little bit older and they're starting to do that stuff at an earlier stage. And it's like, man, all we thought about was, like, kissing a chick when we're like, 13, 14, holding hands. Obviously around 16, you start to become a bit. That stuff's pulled forward. What, three, four, five years? Eleven. Eleven, twelve. You're fucking kidding me, aren't you? Crazy? So I'm always working every year. How can I continue to just instill the same principles and values of my children that will see them well in making decisions when mum and dad aren't there? Not as in dead, but just aren't there. You're at a party, you're at this. There's drugs, there's this. Is that like you're building their gut muscles, you're building their intuition on what really is their true north, mate. That's a big one, boys. That comes from the environment, of course. Being the chief, yes, setting the rhythm, but influencing and leading the environment. And then the final one is lead the energy. A Viking enforces boundaries. Panda softens tension and celebrates, wins. Energy's contagious if you're heavy, irritable or withdrawn. Drags the whole house down. I've probably done two birds, one stone in this, I guess. Speaking about business stuff or carrying things through the door. If you lead with clarity, come and play. Everyone rises with you. You so leading the energy. We spoke about this. It goes hand in hand with controlling the environment. Like I said, how you try and separate work and home, but it's not about that. It's the choices you make and the perspectives that you take on what you've experienced for the day, the week, the month, that is going to see you through to what happens next. That's it, man. It's just the present, it's just the now. Just the now. Just the now. So in doing that, as the chief. Yeah. You call that disrespectful? Calmly. Whether it's your wife or your children. If it's my wife, that'll be in private. Crin and I are a team. We try very hard and we're very successful at it. Not having any tension or tears of unity between us in front of the kids. But yeah, with the children or the wife, you're calling out that disrespect for what it is. That's where a bit of that candid nature is important. You celebrate the wins. Anything so small, so small. That's the beauty of Life, the beauty of life is always in the smallest things. It's so funny. Like, I wish we were intelligent enough and removed pride and ego and arrogance to understand how true that is. The beauty of life is always in the smallest things, you know, And I go deep a fair bit of the time, but not like when I'll be out on a bushwalk. And all of a sudden you just hit the. That you unlock that next level. I see this ant crawling across me and I look at him, he runs up my arm and down my arm and on my hand. And I just look real close. I'm like, look, I can see his eyes. Look at that little thing. Look at those little antennas. Wow. It's sick. Look at him lining up and just biting right into my hand. Just fucking hooking in. How good. Now I'm going to have some. Have some good sores there. And look at all his mates now at that stage, I've obviously kicked him off the. But you know, like it's. I don't go crazy. I don't get the bad ants, man. I saw one. Fuck, are they bull ants? Mate, those. They call them pincers. No, the mouth. The pincers, I think is the handle like a crab. But anyway, the jaw of this ant was like a pair of fucking tweezers you'd find in a first aid kit. And I was like, oh, mate, what? And he was angry and he was chasing me. But fellas, simplicity, the beauty of life is always in the simple things. How am I celebrating the wins of the day? Like when we're at dinner and we're like saying our prayers or showing our gratitude to each other or I'm just thankful. Hey, this is another day we've gotten to live and another day we're all together at the dinner table eating food. Not a lot of families have this. Not a lot of family. Like, there are families where their mother didn't come home today, their father didn't come home today, an accident happened and their child didn't come home. They're in hospital. Or worse yet, it's mates. That's gents, you know, I don't want to make this too prolific, but fuck, you just gotta lead with that energy. Celebrate the wins. Could be the smallest things, like being alive. Another day using humor or affection to defuse tension. I'm very big, I'm very good at that. Not deflecting, but redirecting energy. Whether it's Karin, the kids, shit hits the fan. And I don't always like, tickle my kids or do things because my dad did that to me. He used to piss me off. I'd be so angry and he'd make me laugh and I'd still be angry, but I'd be laughing. But I do sometimes. I do sometimes. But it's leading the energy, the real chief moves. Being clear and candid. Hey, that was not a nice thing. That was disrespectful, what you did then. Celebrating small wins, humor and affection. Diffusing tension. Helping people see outside of themselves, outside of their ego, and see how small and insignificant a negative situation really is in the grand scheme of life. I've had some crazy stories, man. I've gone through some crazy shit. And even now I look back and I just laugh. I'm like, oh, mate, everything will be all right. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's usually all small stuff. What reveals that most? Time and perspective. Time and perspective. Staying composed during any meltdowns. Your wife, your kids, children. The people around you look up to you as a leader. They'll learn more from you. They'll learn more from how you handle pressure and these turbulent situations than from what you say. I've said this many times before, most powerful form of communication is example, boys. I hope that serves you well. That's the strategies. That's the strategies. What I want to work through. Look what I'll do. If you want this resource, like I said. Adminghiperformancefather.com I've got like a good hit list here. Here's a deployment, a deployment map, you know, seven day rotation for HBF fathers. Quality over quantity. Day one, the frame move and the strength show. Set the week's family rhythm. School runs, dinners, training. Hold calm, decisive leadership in a small challenge, you know, could be the kids fucking melting down. Could be traffic delay, something happens at work. Cool. Day two, little bit of bit of panda play. Teasing the missus while you're making lunches. Could be a little pinch on the bum. Not. She doesn't like me touching. Okay. Could threaten to touch her. Get out of the way. I need to go and get something out of the drawers. Like there's all these little tactics here. I don't. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really want to read through all of them, but what I will do is I'll go through a couple of what we call frames, actually. Well, it's a couple of sets of examples and then we'll wrap this up. Up. Yeah, I think that'll be best battle moves for the week. So practical. Repeatable plays you can run without needing perfect conditions. Again, your wife isn't a checklist. Neither are your children, neither is life. But I just want to run through a couple of these different setups and give you some examples. So the first one is. And then, then like I said, if you're on the resource, just. Just email us. It is your. Obviously all the HPF members, you have access to this. Anyway. It's powerful stuff, but I hope that serves you really well. Foundations, the strategies, which is really the chief. And then embodying the three, you know, setting the rhythm, controlling the environment, leading the energy. That's the how. And then the. The chief is like the substance of the how, which is really, really important. First one here. Frame, move, decide, announce, execute. You lead so she doesn't have to. Examples. Date night. We're going to that new tapas place. Friday, 7:00pm Babysitter sorted. Wear something you feel incredible in. Morning routine. Alarm set. You're up first. Coffee made, Breakfast started for the kids. Financial. And I do that a bit because I wake up earlier than Corinne. I'm a bit of an early riser. She's a bit of a late sleeper or she goes to bed later. So that's sweet. I don't mind setting bacon and eggs on low and get it running. And then I'm journaling or reading books or doing a bit of work or playing with the kids. Financial direction. We're moving $500 this month into the weekend. Getaway fun. I'll set it up tonight. Oh, deep. All these little feedings, they make such a big difference, man. It's crazy. Training block lead. We're hitting the gym Saturday morning, then breakfast. Meet you at the car at 7:30. That's it. Bang. Got a challenge for you. Let's go. Household upgrade. Garage gets cleared this weekend. Skip's already booked. Family leadership. Sunday lunch is at my parents. Kids are bringing dessert. I've already told them. Cool. And then what I do, I convert that into a bit of a dad veg. Kids, are you gonna help me? We're gonna make some dessert for the family. Catch up. This Sunday. You know, what's something you like to make for nanny and poppy? So you can just. These are just very short, sharp examples. Core 8 links mission first. So these, this is what it links into. Core eight mission first, Decisive leadership and integrity. Next section, mystery drop. Surprise her with something she didn't see coming. Keeps her engaged and curious. Examples. Sign up for a boxing or dance class. Tell her in passing once you've started. Started Actually, that's something I gotta tell you, man was awesome. I actually signed up for dance lessons with Crin. Admittedly, it was around the time of our marriage, but when we got married, but, man, we loved that. That was so good. And she loved that. Like, man, I could not believe. And like, I don't. I'm not a big one for dancing at weddings and stuff, but just. Just actually learning to dance and the moves and the rhythm, it was actually really, really cool. It was a. I think our dance was more of a traditional waltz, but it had a bit of flair into it as well. And we love that. That was so. That was so good. But just on that one where I said, dance classes, bring her home a favorite dessert or coffee without prompting, I'll do that at times, I'll just bring home. And I make it random. I don't know why, but I don't plan this that much. I just feel the energy of the day, the week. What helps you most, this is what I do really well, actually, is timelines. What's happened in the events that we did this year across the country. It was an extra bonus piece, which is the 12 star. Says 12 star. Imagine the five points of a star, but 12, the number 12 is written on all of them. What happened 12 years ago, 12 months ago, 12 weeks ago, 12 days ago, and 12 hours ago. So I don't go as far back as 12 years when I'm planning something, like with Corinne. But you can use that really quickly. Whether you've got. Your wife's got trauma, there's been issues where there's been infidelity challenges or whatnot, and you struggle to trust each other again. Like, that's a beautiful exercise and process. It's in our high performance leadership course, 12 star. But I might go back and. Okay, what's happened the last 12 hours, 12 days, 12 weeks. Ah, yeah, that's right. You haven't taken her out on a date, have you? Bought a flowers at least once. And then I just look at her and say, okay, let's fucking plug some holes. What are the things she loves? And I can bring home her favorite dessert, or I can plan something, or I can cook her favorite meal. She loves lasagna. Like, I make a phenomenal lasagna. Like, proper wog style. She loves it so much, so she gets me to make two. And then we freeze it. Awesome. And it's a big. It's a big thing. All the pots and pans are used and like, hey, I'm gonna make lasagna. This weekend. All right, cool. Awesome. Fantastic. She loves it. Or I'll surprise her on the day. What do you want to do for dinner tonight? It'll be like Saturday at 11 o'. Clock. I'll be like, oh, I'm already making lasagna. Didn't you know that? What do you mean? Of course I didn't tell. I was a surprise. Drop a weekend getaway in the calendar pack Friday night. That's pretty cool. If you have the option to, obviously with the kids and what happens at home, you can take her out somewhere where she can have a bit of an outlet. I've started to hit the golf driving range and Karim wants to come. It blew me away. I was like, oh, really? And then when I go to driving range, there's heaps of women that go there and there's mums with their daughters. Great out axe throwing, archery, fucking, anything. Pick something where they have a bit of an outlet that's good fun. Could be bowling, it doesn't matter. Something where there's some sort of expression of effort and. Or power and fun at the same time. Start early morning ocean swims. Depends on where you leave, of course, but meter afterway with meter after with take away for breakfast. Replace a Netflix night with some rooftop cinema or live music. I gotta tell you, like this sounds funny, but sometimes just putting some really nice music on and go, oh, look at the moon out there tonight. And just. Just talking while you're sitting there looking at something natural and listening to music. I don't know about you, maybe I feel like a bit of an old fucking man now, but I love that. And she does too. It's awesome. I'm 40, she's 38. But I don't know, gents like you don't need that much, but that's enough. Mystery and growth. Mission first and sexual charge. Spontaneity spark lead. An unexpected break from routine. Midday text. Be reading 20. We're going for a drive. Pull her into the kitchen for a slow dance. Mid chores. Stop during errands for ice cream or a lookout view. Wake her up Saturday, pack a bag, we're going. Not telling you where. Cancel TV night. Take her for dessert and a walk. Serve breakfast for dinner with music blasting. How good, mate, there's plenty of times where we do the opposite. We'll make pancakes for dinner, have breakfast. Oh no, that was right, sorry. Breakfast of a dinner. Yeah, yeah. So there's times we'll have pancakes and stuff for dinner and we're having dessert for dinner and how good, mate, Light up on the cubs and you can go back at another time with. With your stock standard meat and veg or whatever it might be. So these. Yeah, these all help. Little bit of mystery and growth. Mission first. Sexual charge. How good the spontaneity spark was. Mystery and growth playing. Lightness. Sexual charge. The strength show. I'll do this one and then this will wrap it up, gents. Hopefully this gives you some good insights. On what? Like I said, just get the resource, download it, print it. It's your Bible. Compass, True north stereo mixer, ultimate lag measure, feedback loop. It's. It's the greatest. It's the greatest tool that we've ever created when it comes to relationship leadership. That that's what this is about. Because with that comes a better. A better connection. Strength show. Go. Stay calm and unshaken. When tested. Your steadiness builds trust. Examples. She vents emotionally. You hold eye contact. Listen carefully and then respond. Work Problem hits you. Map the solution. Instead of spiraling. Be solution driven, not problem focused. She's late. Smile. Kiss her head. Wait without sniping. Power outage. Light candles. Open wide. Keep the mood light. Challenge is a decision. Listen and then restate calmly. Appreciate you sharing that and your perspective on that decision. However, this one is the one that stands. And this is why. Car breaks down. We'll handle the tow. Keep spirits up for the kids. I remember that happening with our car breaking down and it's pissing down rain and had to go for a walk. That's cool. Made a game of it. Let's see how wet daddy is by the time he comes back. But tried to keep it as light as possible. What are these ones? Core eight links. Emotional sovereignty. Strength in presence. Decisive leadership. So I've got a series of these, I guess. Yeah, like I said, you call them frames. Sexual lead the Viking caller out. Yeah. And then the deployment map. Try that again. The deployment map. Seven day rotation. Not a checklist. Don't see this as a checklist, but when you go through this. Oh yeah. Out of all of this. Out of all of this, these are the three things I can take. And that's it. Pro tips just to wrap up boys. And I hope this has really served you well and connected with part one and you can take it like all things and apply it immediately. Adminiperformancefiler.com will get you the resource as well. But here are some pro tips. Your kids are not an excuse. They are part of the mission. Many of these plays can actually happen with the kids around. Panda. The panda Play the frame, move the strength and still land very deeply with her. If anything, what I found can be the most attractive thing to women is when there isn't a agenda of sorts directly towards her, AKA peripheral value. They're her kids too. When she sees you shits, hit the fan with the kids, you're cool, calm, collected and in control. Oh wow, he's very composed. He handled that way better than what I could. Oh man, if that was me, I would have lost my cool. I'm so glad, glad he's doing that right or good things. Wow, look at him. Look at how he's such an amazing father. Like peripheral value, you, your health and wellbeing, your business, how you handle your. The perspectives that you bring into the household and energy that you lead with the conversations that you hold, how you handle yourself as a husband towards her and the decisions you make as a family unit. All of that, all that peripheral value has nothing to do with a personal agenda of monokie. But it's an attractive thing. See, kids aren't an excuse of anything, they're actually an enhancement. But they're harder. It's a harder challenge. Of course it is. When it's just you and the missus. You are both equally selfish. And then with whatever time you had left over, you poured into each other. That's literally it. Man, I look at Crin and I and fuck, we were so selfish because we could be. We did everything for us and then whatever was left over, we gave to each other. And at the end of the day, that was more than enough time. Even both working full time jobs or me in business and Corinne as a full time teacher because you just have so much time. But guess what? You can do it now with children. And I look forward to the challenge and the journey of having a fourth. Some have eight kids, some have one, it doesn't matter. But ultimately, hopefully this can still be a reminder and proof of hey, when you dial it in on the core few things that matter, family solvent service, I can still be in great fucking shape, build an amazing service that has real impact and mission, stay connected with my wife and have individual time and connection and leadership and bonds with each one of my children. And I fucking will because I don't lose and I never want you to either. And that's the mentality you maintain. And no matter what the world fucking throws at you, you will not lose and you will fucking win. Imagine feeling that. Imagine feeling that every day, no matter what happens, like this isn't. I'm not giving you A front. I'm not giving you false confidence. You need to build competence and skills in family, self and service. Of course, you need to keep improving and growing and becoming a version that's greater than what you're life demands. So my current life might demand a 2.8 hour, but if I'm version four owl, well, fuck, mate. Okay, sweet. I'll handle it. Because I can. Because Life is requiring 2.8 Al and I'm 4.0 at the moment. That's not good enough for me. I want to be 8.0 Al with a 3.5 life requirement. That, that feeling, man, that mentality, that's yours to have. It's a choice. A children are a beautiful gift. That just really evoked that out of me. When I thought I was an ambitious, driven man, I was only in sport. But now it's in life. How good? How grateful. Keep a log. Pro tips. Keep a log. Our high performance fathers, our men, they track their lifts, their nutrition, their wins would track your leadership plays as well. What's working, what isn't working, what needs refinement. You'll only need to do it, mate. You don't even need to do it that much, even if you did it for a month. Just track the things that worked and the things that didn't. That fell flat. Flat, hey, within a month, there's your personalized playbook. It's so easy. It's so fucking easy. People choose nothing now and impossible later instead of hard, which is really easy now and better later. I was saying to someone the other day, we're talking about courage. I said, oh man, I'm not courageous. I said, I have nowhere near the amount of courage as most other people in the world. And they seem shock because of what I've been through and what we've built. Until I explain. I said, you know, like, mate, imagine those people every day like going out doing fuck all with their life. Like, mate, they got way bigger balls than me. They're doing fucking nothing. And one day when the tsunami of regret just fucking floods them, mate, they've got. I couldn't imagine feeling that, hey, what I'm doing is easy. It might seem hard right now in the moment, but ounces of discipline worth ton versus tons of regret. I've heard that saying before, you know, ounces of discipline weighs an ounce. Regret weighs a ton. Hey, those people, 99% of the people in the world have way bigger fucking balls than me. They've got way more courage than I do. Whether they know it or not. It's a different story. But, mate, there's no fucking way. There's no way I'd be doing what they're doing because of what awaits them, because of what is waiting for them. And it's not even waiting for them at the deathbed, it's coming for them. Like, mate, that's. Fuck, I'm not that courageous, man, you know. Bit of a different spin on it, isn't it? Don't overstack the sexual plays. If every move is sexual, she'll feel pressured. Balance, warmth, fun and desire don't go missing midweek. Even a quick frame move. So that's one of the strategies we have. Even a quick little text keeps your leadership felt. Just don't go missing midweek and use the Viking Panda dial. If the house feels tense, add Panda. It feels chaotic. Add Viking. Couple of little side journeys on that one. Couple little side adventures. Nonetheless, men, I appreciate you giving the time, the energy that wraps up part two. It's. It's well worth the time and the energy to pour into your own cup. When I look at my life, I look at it through the lens of how can I just give so much and anytime that I take, it's not bad, but it's not progressive. So when I go out on the Jet Ski or play a game of golf or do all these things, they're fine and I'm taking. But if I put them in the right order at the right times, maybe it's rejuvenating. So there's this beautiful balancing act between being a taker or being someone who's just filling their cup up again. So, you know, want to go out and play a game of golf? Of course, you know, I'm taking time out for myself, but I'm also rejuvenating the batteries. I'm thinking about business and other things, my children. And it's just nothing. Nothing but birds, the golf ball and nature. A golf ball or 12, depending on how many you lose. It's beautiful. It's awesome. I love it. I wish I played it early. I haven't played golf in like 15 years. But now, mate, can't stop me. I try and get out not to golf, but I try and get to a range, driving range once a week. It's half an hour out of the weekend. I look at that post it note, how much can I give with the time that I've left and that document that we've gone through these last two parts. It's not about just giving your fucking wife everything. It's about you leading with a level of purpose and impact that your family can't not follow you and love you and keep falling in love with you and keep remaining connected to you, despite how much they grow and change, despite how much your wife grows and changes or doesn't grow and changes and goes through menopause and all these other things that you're building a track record that is setting your life up despite the shortfalls that aren't even at your doing. Because you're a giver, but you give accordingly. You're not a martyr. You don't fucking sacrifice yourself. I fill up the gas tank and then I empty the tank. I fill up the tank and I empty the tank and then I try, in pockets of time throughout the year, make the tank a little bit bigger, bigger, and grow. Then I fill up the tank and empty the tank. How much can I give with the time that I have left, knowing full well? I can't control how much time I have left, but I can control how much I have to give. And it has the purpose and the intention of providing a better pathway for that person to help them fulfill their personal journey, personal legend, their legacy, what they are here to do for their mission. So I don't give my wife fucking everything because she'll become a monster, as all women do if you give them everything. But I can't give her everything anyway. But I don't need to give her fucking everything. I just need to be everything I can be inside of myself and then apply that accordingly in the buckets of my life, family, self and service. So I hope that last piece really just sits with you as we keep moving through season on season, episode after episode. At the time, recording this early October, like it just keeps going. Life will keep going with or without you, but what can you do to be the fucking greatest you can be? And how much can you give with the time that you have left, with the foresight and the vision to know that what you give and when is inspiring better lives and leadership and others, not just entitlements, not just spoiled fucking children, not just a spoiled wife, but actually giving through your own example, through your own leadership. That stuff right there, that'll last lifetimes and that'll impact people you never even meet. Thank you, men. I'll see you on the next one. Cheers. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to listen to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember. And make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day night, weekday weekend and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.