281. Every Father Becomes A Memory

Hey, if you're someone who really connects to this message and you know there's someone out there who needs to hear this, but they're too proud. The walls are up, you can't show them. No worries. Flick them the link, share this podcast, send them the link. They can listen to it in the car, in the comfort of their own home, behind closed doors, in private privacy. Listen, absorb, and you know you are creating impact to change. There are so many people in pain who need to hear this message, who need to empower themselves, take their control and power back and get back in front. Appreciate you all much respect. Enjoy the episode and again, share the love, spread the love and let's create impact and change across the world. Cheer. Alrighty, Game on. Al's Insights. Let's rip in. Got four, four key one liners. Interesting, interesting time of year. It's essentially midday or just before on Christmas Eve, the 24th of the 12th, 2025. So always, always had a thought about seasonal type podcasts. But hey, man, this is Al's insights. You might be listening to this in January, March, June. One thing I will touch on though, which I think will be timeless for all of you, is around these chaotic times. Now, I'm not a Grinch by any means, but one thing, I just, I don't know, man, I just can't fucking handle it. I just hate doing what everyone else is doing. I don't like, you know, and I mean that in a genuine way. Like we all breathe, right? So I don't hate breathing. Not to be a smartest, but it's like, man, Christmas, Easter, oh shit, I gotta tell you, like Valentine's Day. Geez, mate, you know, so look, celebrate, take the time, reflect all that sort of stuff. I've got a beautiful message I share with our community every year inside the HPF brotherhood. And it's always a very grounded one. It's like, hey, you know what, like Christmas or Easter or Valentine's Day or birthdays, you know, I remember a mate telling me once that his wife amazing relationship and they're still together and great. But on one of his birthdays, his wife looked at him straight and said, I feel nothing for you. I was like, that's a tough birthday present to unwrap actually. I remember when he told Critter I, we pissed ourselves laughing, but he was serious. So always, always an interesting time where there's, you know, it's always an interesting time for two reasons. One, there's typically some sort of stress, pressure and, or buildup to the event or experience. Two, there's the heightened emotional state that comes with the buildup and the experience itself. Three, there's the comparison between what this could mean, should mean or the expectation of what this should look like for me versus everyone else versus Hollywood versus that movie I watched when I was 18 years of age or that movie, I can't remember what it's about, but the movie, love actually. And it's all about these different types of relationships and it's all fucking bullshit, mate. It's all bullsh. You know, and that's one thing that I've mentioned, podcasts before, not to go on a tangent, but before these four one liners, I just want to really help you be grounded in yourself in these times. If you're a man who's listening to this around the time of Christmas and New Year's, or any seasonal time or impactful moment that is coming for you in your birthday, Valentine's and all sorts of things, your wife's birthday, your kid's birthday, someone dying, someone being born. All these heightened points in Hollywood, the movies, right, the man and the woman, they go have sex. How amazing. Awesome. And then they roll over, light a fucking cigarettes like, okay, well who's gonna wash the sheets? Who's cleaning up? Like it's, it's, it's all, it's all pulling these little pockets and just painting this beautiful fairy tale. You, you think that kids are the only one that are targeted, targeted by Disney, you know, which again, look each their own. But I, I look at Disney and all of those like, well, hang on, am I the creator of it? Am I the founder of it? Are there nice moments? Are there good morals and lessons in there? Yeah, some. But also, does it have my kids best interest at heart? Well, it depends on what seed is being planted their head and just looking on that with having daughters, the entitlement, the princess, hey, I deserve my perfect prince. All that sort of stuff. It's going to be hard. Like I can't imagine the type of man I'll be if I keep going and growing when I'm in my 50s, when my girls are, you know, essentially looking and marrying their future husbands, like they're not even going to come fucking close to me. I won't even compare. But also, well, I might be 30 to 35 years older than them with good reason. So it's like, hey, you know, this is reality. Can you build something with a man? Not just be the princess that kicks back and is entitled and look for that perfect prince so that's expanding a bit too much. I'm going to pull it back a bit, man. But essentially this time, these times of year, I just want you to understand that comparing to others the emotional highs which comes with the lows, there's always an up and down. Doesn't mean life should be monotonous and just plain. But you must be on the level in how you are in control of your emotions, not allow your emotions to control you and then the pressure and build up. So you're combining expectations and comparisons with the emotional highs and lows with the pressure and the buildup with something that is not just seasonal, it's ongoing. Tell me what changes between December 31 and January 1? All it's a number that we've chosen and agreed on in a calendar, which doesn't make sense to me. There should be 13 months of the year, 28 days. That gets you pretty close, right? I'm sure you can make slight adjustments. Although sometimes in winter it's summer and in summer it's winter, who cares? But anyway, I think that would be perfect if you had four weeks every month and so on and so forth. However, that's the thing. There's a collective buy in on what is called a calendar, which has a word called December and a word called January, which has 31 days and after 31 it ticks over to one and the word changes from December to January. What changes, mate? So most of the world goes into the new year, fucking hungover with no idea. And then by the time they collect their thoughts, collect themselves and get through the holiday period and paying for the sins of the past and all the other indulgences, whatnot. It's the middle of February, east is not far off and they're just trying to get into some sort of rhythm and just remove the vertigo out of their fucking head and just be on the straight and narrow for a few months. Most people are lucky to have six to nine months a year of production, creativity, building, innovating, ascending, realizing their vision, climbing the mountains and so on and so forth. That's why they never get ahead. Like I used to have the old saying, like if, if you live long enough, you would be successful. That's not true because there's a threshold. So hey, if I just keep chipping away and I grow at 1%, but I can live to be 500, eventually I'll be successful. But that's the whole problem here with the environment, the default of life itself. If life is decaying for you or regressing at 2% and you're growing at 1%. In 500 years, you'll be worse off. So it's this interesting game, this game of life, where it's like this sprint, but a series of sprints and sprints that go short enough, but long enough to have impact and change without burning you out. And then enough transitions between family, self and service to understand what the type of sprints are that you are having. The direction that you're actually going. So the ship, the rudder, you're heading in the right direction of what it is that you're sprinting up. The mountain, the size of the mountain, the people who are carrying you up. Because at times you'll need Sherpas. It's such a, it's such a simple but, but, but human invoked complexity of life, you know, because you've got all these distractions, you've got all the sedation, you've got all these vices, you've got these other people who are just settling. You've got all these other temptations that are pulling you away and distractions and things are just trying to steal and demand your folks and attention. But the simple element of life is where the fuck are you now? Where do you want to get to and why? How will you get there? What are the tools? What is the path? And who will ensure that you actually are successful? Which accountability is a beautiful thing. Accountability is part of life. Like we're all accountable. It's just to who and when. When's the big one, right? Because it catches up to all of us. So in these times, just before we do, these four one liners are short and sweet. But in these times, I just, I just want you to realize that you're not alone with that, like the stress and the pressure. Yeah, well, my wife like what she gets, my kids like it. You know, what's this? Like we, man, I remember our Christmases. Holy dooley. Like it was four boys. At least three times. Dad threatened to punch our head in. Sometimes he used those words. But really, man, four boys fighting. We're playing corners. I don't know, some of the younger guys might not know that it is. He's sitting in the car and you just. Every time dad turns a corner, you just jam and left or right, you know, whoever was in the middle was okay. I was always on the end, you know, like we were. Yeah, we're boys, we're fighting and punching and kicking and there's highs and presence and sharing. But then we're fighting again and it was savage, man. Fucking Savage the stress and pressure the whole year, quote unquote. Because people tie into a calendar psychologically with work. Dad's stressed work, mum's stressed, Home life, Mum's stressed. So pretty, pretty crazy, man. That's what happens for everyone. So you're not alone. Or that's what can happen, I guess, depending on your family dynamic. You might have one daughter and it's a lot simpler but more dramatic. Who knows? I've got four now and. Yeah, this is a. This is a tough Christmas. Corinne and I haven't had any sleep. That's why I haven't got her on for a session yet. You know, little flossy six weeks in and she's regressed. So screaming and crying all the time, not sleeping much, which I think is a natural time when, when babies regress around the six week mark. The other three are not craving attention, but you know, they've just had a big year as well and now they've got school holidays and they're crazy, man. So this will be a different Christmas for us too. My advice is this, just be grounded, be on the level. Don't overshoot. Don't overreach in your own expectations or what others may expect of you. That's on them, man. Like you're building a life. You're looking to build a life. It's not one moment. It's not one celebration. It's not what the fucking Joneses are doing. It's how you can be in the moment and be present and grateful and thankful for, with each other to and for each other. That you're here, that you've got life. That you exist. 1 in 400 trillion. Wow. You think it's coincidence or some sort of big bang? Come on, mate. One in 400 trillion. You here. Regardless of your beliefs, beyond this life as a human, you are here with a purpose. Honor that purpose by not buying into the bullshit. Don't go to the island like Pinocchio and the rest of the boys that become donkeys. Don't allow your family to. That comes with tough conversations. Can you do that now? Might be hard. Can you have hard conflict on, on Christmas Day given that you haven't built the. The steel and charisma to steer the ship with healthy conflicts with your wife and your children as the chief with a little bit of Viking in October, November, December. Don't know, man. Not sure. But do you just throw your hands up in the air and go, just not worth the fight, son? No, absolutely not. There's always a point where you can Stop and reflect and go, hey, look, I want to talk about Christmas this year. And that might be the conversation. January 5th, we just make a couple of notes, you know, so. Food for thought. Men, whether it's a happy day or a sad day, whether you're seeing your kids or not, just know that, like, you are the prize, but be the prize for your family by turning up with presence. Presence with a C E, not with a TS that wasn't a dad joke or intended pun either. But turn up and be present with them, that's the greatest present you could ever give them, you know, and. And just acknowledge the path. I know this might seem a bit weird and twisted, but I don't welcome it. But I'm more thankful for my adversities than I am for my victories, because my victories is a lag measure, which is like, okay, cool. This is like the victory. It's a pin drop. It's a point in time that everything's come together and I've won this moment. The hardship, it's not one moment. It's what you're going through, which gives you power to do something about it, which puts you in the present, which gives you gifts and lessons and learnings. It's like when we talk about lead and lag measures, that's what's leading you into what you can do next, what you can do next, what you can do about your situation. The victory in standing on the podium is just a reflection and celebration. How cool. Yeah, it all came together this time. Well, next time. That's the journey of life. So some of you listening to this, regardless of whether it is around Christmas or, you know, May 12, just know that when these future moments come up, Easter, Christmas, birthday celebrations, you know, Valentine's Day. Yeah, Life and death could be a death. And, you know, and great, great Grammys died and she was 134 years of age, but everyone's just grieving like it's the end of the world. It's like, well, you don't want to be cold, right, and say, hey, man, she fucking lived. She lived a pretty good life, mate. I'm like that. It's not that you're cold, but it's just putting things in perspective to know that this too shall pass. Whether it's great or whether it's grieving, it's about understanding that you are here. You are real, you are life. And that's a valuable energy source. What you are and who you are internally, intrinsically, not the rest of the bullshit that the world tells you. You should or shouldn't do and how you should honor or celebrate certain moments. Again, I'm not a Grinch. I'm just saying, man, if I'm always bought in on what externally defines me, my emotional state and success, then who even am I? What am I? What's actually driving me internally? External gratification. Man loved Cozy. I haven't done a solo about Cozy, and maybe that's for another time, but man, absolutely loved Cozy. But also in retrospect, that's, that's. That's. I'm here to serve the men. This is their victory, their brotherhood as well as mine. They've come together, they've said yes, They've spent time and money and travel and come together, and it's. Mate. It's amazing. So having conversations with. With just about every single one of them, like personal ones at Cozy was. Was pretty epic. And I feel blessed and humbled to be able to serve these men, but it doesn't put me on some sort of pedestal going, hey, Al's. Al's a fucking leader of fathers in Australia. It's like, oh, man, some here to fucking serve. And that doesn't define me. And that's a hard thing. Like, HPF is my life because it's a way of life, right? But what I'm doing inside of that, that's hard. My children for 20 years before they fly the nest, that's hard. I get it. There will be the risk of void if I attach too much. It's why family, self and service, you gotta keep going. Growing in all of them that way. It's like diversifying, like what people do with investments. You don't put all your eggs in one basket. Which means when there becomes not loss, but change. Oh, my kids have flown the nest, yeah. But I'm still driving this mission of HPF. Now we've been doing it for 28 years, and I'm still. I'm looking forward to this next Ironman or marathon or something. Not that I can run unless I get my knee replaced. Become the Blade Runner that, you know, I've got. Something to pursue in self, something to pursue in service, something to pursue in family. Okay, well, now, how can I help my children in adult life? How can I be the most amazing grandfather ever? I'm not gonna. You can't pin yourself to one circle and one period of time. And that's what I've really learned. That's the biggest takeaway I've gotten from Florence. She's so small, man. She's tiny. 3.8 kilos. Like I put my whole hand around her head. She's so small. Roman's a monster. Like, wow, my little boy, that's already gone. I'm like, yeah, but what's next? What's to come? Imagine lifting weights in the gym with your son. Seeing him getting jacked and strong and pushing hard and failing and pursuing his goals and his dreams and can't do that with a five year old boy. So it's like, oh, enjoy every moment as it comes, but enjoy the gift for what it is, not Christmas and fucking presents and all that bullshit. The reality that you are alive and you are a living being that isn't just a man, it's a man that embodies the spirit. And that is what you are, the spirit of life. And as the spirit of life, there's no comparison to some sort of physical, tangible thing like Christmas or a dinner or a present. You're so much more than that. So if life's going great, awesome. Don't elevate your status with arrogance because you're attaching to these external things to what's internally driving you to be successful today. And if life's going shit, don't attach yourself to what's happening. Know that you are an entity that is so much more than your circumstances and so much bigger than whether happy or sad. These moments of celebration that spread across the world. Let's. Wow, 16 minutes maybe. We'll trim the fat, we'll see how we go through these ones. But short and sharp men, I hope for what it's worth, that provide some value for you at any given time, not just around seasonal celebrations, which probably doesn't tie in too badly to talking about going and growing and one of our tenets, seeking growth, love and joy. Because this first one liner is only a fool goes through life unprepared for what's inevitable. How good's that? Only a fool goes through life unprepared for what's inevitable. Only a fool is attachment to an identity and a way of being goes through their life. How you continue to travel unprepared means you're not growing, you're not changing, you're not improving, you're not becoming more. For what's inevitable. Well, I don't know about you, but for me what's inevitable is always pain. Pain, pleasure, all sorts of things. But what's inevitable, absolutely. Struggle, challenge, adversity, breakthroughs, new relationships. You know, whether it's personal or work, there's, There's. What's inevitable is change across the board. Good and bad. Good and bad. Which is why I said this ties in Mosley's point on you being on the level and greater than anything that's actually happening to your life. It's because what's happening to your life isn't your whole life. It's just what's happening at that time. And you are a collective of your whole life. So you're so much bigger than that. Hopefully that's. That's landing, you know, really, like, put your finger in one ear so it comes through one side and sticks. Only a fool goes through life unprepared for what's inevitable. I'm telling you, man, it's coming. Just like it has and will continue to come for me. There are challenges and obstacles you have no idea exist, don't even exist yet. So not even in the same timeline yet of when they're going to come into existence, then come knocking on your front door. You have no idea. So why aren't you preparing for it? And I'm not highlighting the negative. It's just that's what typically will bring a man to attention and go, ah, yes, of course. Why? Because you want to preserve. As men, we want to protect and provide for our family. Why? Because that's preserving. Preservation. We want to preserve a quality of life for our family. We want to preserve the continuity of our species. Like it. It's. It's a beautiful thing. How primal, how simple, but how real. Be prepared for what's inevitable. How do you be prepared? By stealing your mind, your heart and your emotions, your physical body, your leadership skills, and the way you can communicate and work through others. People talk about working on the business, not in the business. What about working through the business? That's life, man. Work through other people. Right? That's the quality of leadership. How much can you handle everyone else's shit storms and still keep yourself together? Not, hey, look at me, I'm on top of the mountain, charging ahead. That's been valuable for me. Now that's a shitstorm everywhere at home. How am I handling that and leading everyone else, despite me having low sleep, low energy, low capacity, pulled in every direction and doing a reasonable job, points for improvement. Never had four kids before, but doing a reasonable job because of that perspective. Why? I want to be prepared for what's coming. Lillian ran, hit her eye, hit a pole sticking out from the trampoline. And we're just about to rush to the hospital. Then it came down, the swelling removed and lucky. It got like the top of the eyelids, was More the eyebrow. I was like, man, wow. What were you gonna do there? Now you've got a baby that's three weeks old. This is a few weeks ago. Three weeks old. Crin's at a caesarean. She can't drive, can't move. You've got two other kids, and you've got one kid bawling her eyes out, saying that she can't see. So it's not even the physical. A lot of the times it's mental. Can you be still and calm and be the chief? Only a fool goes through life unprepared for what's inevitable, man. Always preparing, and not just for the worst. Preparing for life and what can be. The good, the bad and the ugly. Preparing for the next leap, the challenge. You fabricate yourself to stretch and grow and become more beautiful. Awesome. Gyms are great for that. Health and fitness is good for that. You don't have to lift 80 kilos. You can lift 70. Why not lift 82.5? Right. You're fabricating challenge and adversity to create and drive growth. Awesome. Unfortunately, what that means is most of the world are fools. Only a fool goes through life unprepared for what's inevitable. Which takes me to the next one. Because through preparation. What does that mean? Oh, you'll fail. You better believe you'll fail. The greatest leaders in the world are the greatest students. They're a collective of a few things. The greatest leaders in the world have failed the most to become the greatest leader. There's lots of people who are quote, unquote successful, who are bad eggs and toxic people. But the greatest leaders in the world are those who've failed the most, are the most humble. They serve with humility. And they're the greatest students. They're like the top three things I've always seen. So their life is. They're always looking for a high level of service. So the greatest leaders in the world are the greatest at serving people, serving others, which means they've failed the most, they've learned the most. The greatest students, which means they carry a level of humility, which is extremely powerful and attractive. So this next one is. It's not coming back from failure. And this is what I mean about unprepared. And what's inevitable. Like, go for it, man. Take that shot. Take that chance. Push. Even if you only get the desired set outcome from the current version of who you are, the version you step up into and grow into is ultimately what the prize was all along. So, hey, I want to do a B, C and get X, Y and Z. You might end up with a P and a Q. Doesn't matter, man, that was the point. Just shift your expectations. That's like me. I was going to play first grade footy, earn a few million bucks, get a few real estate, some rental properties, live off that, happy days, become a celebrity. Such small thinking. Look back. So this is a powerful one for you men. It's not coming back from failure, that's the trophy to hold up or battle scar to show. It's sharing with examples how you kept growing and moving towards pressure, pain, failure, but ultimately success, despite fear being a legitimate reason for you to pull back and play it safe because of what it is that you had on the line. So coming back, oh yeah, I failed. But yeah, awesome. Look at me, this is my battle scar. No, man, here's how I kept fucking running. I fucking sprinted towards pain and pressure and failure. But here's the success. And even though everything was on the line, right, I had legitimate reasons through fear to pull back and play it safe. This is what I fucking did anyway. You can live a great life, man. Like, you don't have to. I'm not saying I'm the best either. You don't have to be me, you don't have to be Elon Musk, or don't have to be Hugh Jackman. I don't know. Just, just pick people in any industry who. You don't have to be you, man, and keep becoming a better you. But also just know that you can live an amazing life if you just stretch and grow every single, every single year. Well, how can I grow every year? Well, break it down because a whole year is hard to grow. How am I going to grow in one year? Well, what if, what if you grew in a month? What if you grew in a week? What could you do to help you grow a little bit today? So you got 365 shots to grow, not just one. When you look back and it's December 31st, man, we came close to dying so many times in the early days of hpf. And I kept having more fucking kids like, ah, fuck that, man. All in. I got some crazy stories, man, like this. So this one isn't about me. It's about a man with purpose who doesn't want to be a fool. He wants to be prepared for what's inevitable and coming for him. But here's the example of how I grew and ran towards pressure, pain, failure, had another child, Lily, had another child, Roman. It's like, no Keep fucking going. Hey, even though online, I mean, we've had over 500 events this year. That's incredible, man. But even though we're quote unquote online, or we were in the early days of rdm, Covid was still hard for us. That was brutal. Nearly died several times just that year alone. It's crazy. So up and down, kept fucking running, kept running. I was not coming back from the failure. That's the trophy or something that you can hold dear to your heart. That's a valuable tool and fuel and asset for you in future circumstances. It's sharing. Hey, I kept fucking going, man. Even though. Look at all this stuff. Look at everything that could have gone wrong. Look at everything that was on the line. There was absolutely a moment. Me and my family, we could have lost everything, been on the fucking street. Let's keep going. Will find a way. So it's not about a man. It's about an entity with purpose. That's what I want you to keep. Hopefully this message is landing for you. Anything can cut a man down. A little bug with enough venom can cut you down. But nothing can cut down a driving force with purpose that uses the shell of the body of being a human being, a man, and a powerful leader and father to execute and be successful. So just know that, man. Like, don't. Hey, I failed this. And don't play it safe, don't play it smart, but don't play it safe. Just fucking go for it. What have you got to lose? You think 80 years is long? I turned 40 in August. I can't believe it. My mum's birthday. I was 14 at the time, I think, and she was 40. I thought she looked great, but I thought she was old. I saw her and all her friends, they're all partying. We had a house party. And I think I was 13, 14. Yeah. And I remember looking. Thinking she was so old. Looked great. Like mum's skin, everything. She didn't look old, but just the number. That's nothing. That's nothing. I talked to the old boy. How old do you actually feel? He's like, oh, you know what? At heart, I still think of myself as someone probably in their mid to late 30s. I was like, mate, that's so true. I said, I've just turned 40. And I still see myself, like somewhere between 24 and 28. Okay. I'm a man. I'm getting into the groove of life. So, mate, you're 40. 40. Crazy. It waits for no one. So what are you waiting for? Death. Oh, man, it comes for all of us. Next point, which hopefully will really land for you men of what we've built here. This is interesting how these have actually stacked nicely together because I've got. I'm just looking now. Geez, man, I got some episodes. Wow. I've got about 40 one liners I need to catch up on. Third one. Not for this session. Every father becomes a memory. What memory are you building? Geez, that's powerful, isn't it? Fuck that. It's so powerful, man. That is so powerful. I can't remember where I heard or saw this. It's written here. Every father becomes a memory. What memory are you building? You know why it's so powerful? Because it's every father. See, there's no escaping mate. There's no special cases. Every single one of us, every single one of you and me, all of us, we become a memory. And then it's. What memory are you building? It's tying in the past, which is really the future reflection of the past that those you love and care about are going to have, which is completely and utterly only ever in control. Right now in the present with you. Isn't that crazy? That's so powerful, man. Every father becomes a memory. What memory tomorrow, which will be in the past for your children are you building today? What memory in the future that your children will have of you in the past are you actually building right now? Because presence or absence will be the story they repeat long after you're gone. That was the second piece I had. Every father becomes a memory. What memory are you building? Because presence or absence will be the story they repeat long after you're gone. If it's a story worth sharing, mind you powerful men, I know this can be confronting at times, but it's only confronting if you're not willing to move. You're not willing to build, not willing to become more. I mean, isn't that inside us as men? Isn't that at the heart and soul of us? You know, you're the man. There's the spirit of a man, but then there's the man embodying the spirit. Honor the man as well. Like men, what are we? We want to create something out of fucking nothing. We create a creation. We want to create something. We want to do the impossible. Make it possible. Like, who wouldn't? Otherwise not worth juice. Isn't worth the squeeze. Worth it, man. I played, so. I played one year in footy when I was 13, and then nothing. Played like school with mates or that sort of stuff. But Essentially did really nothing until 18 rose very quickly through the grades. 18 months on reserve grade training with first graders. It was ballistic, man, the growth. But that under 13s, the reason why I call it an event is I was on the bench, hardly ever played. We're in Division 4, we won the grand final easily. And I remember celebrating, grabbing my sausage pot, sausage sandwich and that sort of stuff. Were at the footy ground and I had my trophy and I mean, it's gone, I don't even know where it is now. And I got home that day and just kept fucking slugging away. I was a big fat kid, fucking eating and playing computer games meant nothing. Meant nothing. Nothing to me, man. Deep inside all of you men listening to this, you have the ambition, you have the animal, you have the hunger and desire to win, to be a winner. I'm so competitive, man, I'm obsessively competitive. I have to win at all costs, whatever it takes, all that sort of stuff, I've. I've harnessed that over the years to make sure that whatever it takes and at any cost doesn't come to the detriment of others. Not that I ever cheated, but like when I was younger in sport, man, I nearly had punch ons with my brothers, my mates, like, ah, fisticuffs all the time, mate, all the time got broken up, get in wrestles and just all on the line, man. I have to fucking win. Chip and chase, whatever it was like, we're playing footy, touch footy, soccer, cricket, whatever it took, man, had to win. I'd lose, I'd be filthy. You've all got that. The hard part is life just wears you down. And you see to such a big long game instead of just a series of small sprints. And you're doing it all by yourself. You're doing with all these added pressures and you're doing it from a position that hasn't grown and elevated himself. You haven't done any personal development. You haven't built and developed who you can become in that next pocket. Next period, you get your trade, you become a builder, or you get your license and you do all this stuff. But it's like, hang on. Yeah, but have you had teenage kids before? Have you had a seasoned marriage in your 40s before? Have you had a wife that's perimenopause before? Have you gone through life where you're suffering with erections before? This is tough stuff, man. Tough stuff for a lot of men in different ways, which, funnily enough, a lot of that Stuff, especially with us, it's how you see yourself a lot of that stuff. Like if those of you struggling with a bit of ed, it's like, man, yeah, of course, as an organism, look after yourself. Health and wellbeing, lots of stuff. But it's actually your self confidence, man. I'm the man. I'm here to claim my queen. Let's go. Game on. But anyway, so just understand, like, you have the competitor you have, you have the animal in you, mate. Like honor that and bring out that savage to know that you will become a memory one day. What memory are you building? Build the memory of my dad. No matter what he faced, no matter what he went through, he was a fucking winner. Build that memory. And the final one, this is super simple. But you know, it's, it's, it's so true, is a man cannot become great alone. You know, it's. It's always been a delicate thing for me, wanting to. Not because of me and my identity or ego, but wanting to change the world. Because I am living proof and have seen in thousands of men now. And I can see and I know what's possible. Like I can see the way I can see what's possible in life. You don't have to live my life, but this is how you can live life. This is how you can see life, this is how you can feel about life. These are the experiences you can create with your wife, with your children. And maybe people have different ideas, maybe people love different lives. Having different lives with pain and anger and other things. But I'm telling you, man, as much as there's pain and hardship and all that sort of stuff every day, for me as well, it's a beautiful thing how I see the world, how I'm living my life, how family, self and service. Like it's such a. I'm telling you, man, it's such a beautiful thing. If it wasn't, we wouldn't exist. If it wasn't attractive men wouldn't have gotten results. They wouldn't have wanted the outcome. Family, self and service balanced life. Hunting and building, building a true legacy that outlives you. Not just fucking. Look at all the results I get on money I made. Look at the impact I had. Look at how I made people feel in family, self and service. My circle of self was so fucking and powerful. And I kept making it bigger and more powerful and fueled it better so I could pour even more into family and service. Like it's, I gotta tell you, man, it's, It's a beautiful Life. And it makes. It makes the hard times so easy. So easy, man. Because you know that on the other side of that hard moment, week, month or season, just on the other side of that is that beautiful life again. Not the escape, not the feel good, not the next fucking TV series coming out, season five of this in 2026. No. No. The life you can live and the way you can feel about it, and the way you can see it, and the way you can lead it and the impact you can have with others. That's why I love hpf, man. Because these men give me the confidence of the living proof that I knew existed. But I just had to get more people. I just had to get more proof, more case studies, and I had to build that even when I didn't have it, because I was. Don't forget, HPF is born if my marriage fall apart. So I'm trying to build the life. I just know. I can just feel it. I've had it in little pockets with championship sporting teams with my wife earlier in our relationship. Not that it's just about honeymoon or feeling. It's like building things, experiencing things with my firstborn. Like, this is possible, man. It's gotta be possible. When I was younger, I just had all these dudes when I was doing, like, labor hire work and all that stuff, just telling me how much they fucking hate their wives. Whingeing and bitching. They never get sex, never get laid. Their body's falling apart. Smoking and drinking on the job is like, fuck is this? No, surely not. I'm 17, 18 years of age. Strong, powerful man, World of my feet. Extremely ambitious. And I'm doing. I'm on site doing these jobs, going, is this. What? Is this what awaits? No, it can't be, man. Talking about their bets. They're going down the pub, the tap. Like, man, like what you. Seriously. And then here we are. You discovered what's possible. And then the other men have helped me build this, build this. And we're building this, and it is absolutely a way of life. It's so beautiful, man. It doesn't come without the cost. There's always something to sacrifice, always. Whether it's good for you or not. In the long term, there are things you need to sacrifice, but it's worth it. It's worth it to me. So it's core things that matter. They exist, they're real. And it's a platform that I just keep building off. I gotta tell you first, so this. Please understand, this isn't. Hey, we're Better than you. Or if you're not in hpf, you're a loser. Or this isn't a call to arms. Hey, join us. It's just knowing that. And maybe it is us, maybe it isn't, you know, but it's just knowing that, mate, you can't. You cannot become great alone. You can go it alone, but you can't become great alone. It's impossible. Self made is bullshit. I've said this so many times and yeah, I could be smartest at times. Walking, talking out of the womb, wiping your own bum, but it's not. There are periods of your life where there's codependence, complete dependence, interdependence, you know, and so it varies from, you know, are you depending on each other? Are you dependent inside of the same environment where you're providing leadership and value safe for your children? They don't need you to stay alive. They're 14. They can cook food. But you can certainly guide them and lead them. Complete dependence in certain independence. Like it's. That's true. There are periods of that that you have that. But no one is independent from day dot till the day they die. No one's independent from 25, from 40. Okay, you're 40. You know how to make money. But hang on, do you want a relationship with your children that's not self made? There's feedback loops. Every child can be different in their nuances and the Personas and, and the character traits they hold. Your wife. It's impossible. A man cannot become great alone. So for what it's worth, men, you know, it's. And look, like I said, we'd love to help the world and we will get there with building the ecosystem both online with our own HPF app one day and also in person with the events. We're looking to double in 2026 and have a thousand events. Make no mistake, we're absolutely real and in the flesh in how we connect and drive forward towards this greatness. But a man cannot become great alone. I remember just saying that and I'm like, mate, the best ones are always the most simplest ones, right? Six words. This is a long insight. Let's wrap it up. Appreciate you all, man. Like I said, regards to whether you're listening to this in a, in a time of season, celebration, or at any time throughout the year, that first point is really important. Understand the value that you have and hold in this life and make that real by knowing that only a fool goes through life unprepared for what's inevitable. So prepare. Every day you're preparing. You're preparing to become better. You're preparing for the good and the bad. You're preparing for the opportunity. Best to have an opportunity, not be. What's the saying? Best to not. Best to be prepared, not have an opportunity. And to have an opportunity and not be prepared. All that sort of stuff. It's very true. Failing to plan is planning to fail. It may be, but you're just planning like go out and do like do make it real. It's not coming back from the failures and all these battle scars of. It's no, it's like, hey man. Despite fear being a real reason, I had faith in myself, what was around me, what was possible. And even though I had all this on the line, I still ran towards pressure and pain, failure, and pushed and pushed and I became successful. And I am a success. It's not just one point in time. I'm building a successful life. Every father becomes a memory. What memory are you building? Presence or absence? Because one day, fellas, we will just be. It's a bit sad in a way, but it's. But it's also. That's life. But one day you and I will just be a story. That's all we'll be. But how powerful can we make the all we will be? Today's the day to make that happen. Today's the day to engineer that. Today's the day to lead. How powerful the all we will be? How powerful this story will actually be. And know that a man cannot become great alone. Find someone, your brother, your father, your friends that are ambitious to grow. You won't find many. Maybe some. Maybe this is podcast for now. Maybe it is hpf. Maybe some of the catch ups and the things we do offer the general pop, although we've tightened that up a lot. We just do a lot of stuff for the members now. But there's just so many catch ups. But yes, just know that there's nothing, there's nothing great polished or something to be proud of in living the lone wolf life. There certainly isn't. A man cannot become great alone. Hope this serves you well as always. Just pick one, pick a ball and hook in, take some action. And I look forward to many more sessions of service. This podcast, we get great feedback. Appreciate your. We get a couple of reviews saying they don't like the swears. I understand. But I guess it's too fucking bad because I'm just a very passionate man. And when the time's right, I'll drop an f bomb here and there. Appreciate you, man. I'll see you in the next one. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember. And make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day night, weekday weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.