287. Facing Fear or Regret: The Day a Man Stops Drifting

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Yes. Nah, talking results. It's funny we were going through this the other day, but I think even in my first 12 months, massive, massive results for a lot of guys. And I've wrote a few down, I've got too many to write down, but it's a good thing to have. Right? But you know, Callan wife was out, moved back in, massive ups there, more connected with his young fellow still at home, having those quality moments, things that wouldn't exist, you know, without that. Even smaller ones from like say Sam in Victoria, where he's got now post it notes from his daughters and looking to start a whole new life in Queensland. Right. It's like, fuck that. That would never have happened, right, had he not actually put the hard work in and obviously had the guidance there from us. And yeah, another one that popped straight to mind. Mal wife was out of the house, they were both separated, looking to go down. A 30 year marriage gone, you know, back together, stronger than ever, rebuilding and really just absolutely dominating. Clint, who I touched on the podcast around the Cossie stuff like, phenomenal story with him, what he's had to endure, but also how he's still building that with his wife, with his daughters, was able to go up the top of Cossey the second time around for some real special moment for him, for his brother who passed away. Jeff, who's an absolute high achiever in Victoria, absolutely smashing out things all across, found himself in service, but again now with more purpose and desire as far as, hey, I'm actually going to start my side business so I can get more time with the kids and so forth and really lead the home in the right way. And his growth through there has been phenomenal. Phenomenal in that, with that direction too. Right. Because it's all good, just floating. But yeah, it needs that direction. Similar to Daniel in Western Australia. Massive ups there, like taking his sons surfing, cricket training, these things really dialed in because it's more around quality, not quantity. Right. So he's really nailed in there, but also freed himself up from the business and looking to break away from those shackles and then feed the family through other avenues, which is working with his wife around what he can do with her to start a new one. Right. So that capacity is there all while still dominating the family. Right. And the self side. And him and another member catch up quite regularly in Perth. And they actually had their force method out the other day together at a cafe, going through like, you know, powerful, super powerful stuff. And then, yeah, a few others that come to mind, but one that really sticks out. Troy in Victoria. Really, really tough time at the start. You know, I won't delve too much into his story. It's easy to tell, but you know, some vices there, these things. Really, really pivotal moment where it could have gone either way. And he's turned himself around tenfold and now it's finding that deeper purpose because the kids are a bit older and had an amazing moment where he actually had his daughter's car keys in the Christmas tree, right. And she's like, wow, what's this? What's the present like? That wouldn't have happened. Had the moments we built through. Really tough, really tough moments. Like, not gonna sugarcoat that at all. They were really tough earlier in the year. Earlier? Yeah, this year, last year. Sorry, man. It goes quick, but yes, crazy to think from where he was there to now to then he's gone on holidays with his new partner, overse Africa this year, like doing things with his. With his parents. It's phenomenal, phenomenal what he's doing. And yeah, I mean, I could be here all day, but. But there's. There's a fair few, mate, I'd love to give more shout outs to, but. But yes. What a journey. Last 12 months.

Wow. That's incredible, man. You are way better than Coach Ed and the fire breathers. Way better. It's. Does Ed listen to these podcasts?

I don't think so. I think he's. Yes, he'd be. Bullshit.

Yes, Ed's. Ed's listened to him all three times over. So it's like, al, I'm done, mate. I'm sick of your voice. But I'm just kidding. Every squad's amazing inside of hpf, but the one we're talking about here is the Knights with Mr. Harding. Rowan, not Rowan Harding. As much as People that up, but I've got a first for a last and a last name for a first. Now. The. The journey for you has been incredible, man. Like, man, it's.

It's.

That's a pretty good riff from Harding off the cuff, which I literally is. No bullshit. Well there ever is bullshit with us. Before I hit record, I said, hey,

you know what, man?

Instead of me just saying, hey, welcome to another podcast. I'm gonna put you on the spot here yarding. I want you to talk about all, not all the results. Cause you know, you're leading over a hundred men, but I want you to talk about rapid firing. A lot of the results come to mind that you've helped men with. And I literally hit record and you just dished that up. What a journey. What a journey, brother. Starting pre hpf, then HPF as a member, then becoming a squad leader, which is like a, you know, an experience and a high level of leadership in the community to help those, you know, this is a beautiful group that we have here in group, beautiful brotherhood that we have with this, this, this cohort and this mission we're on. And some men are further ahead than others we've got. I was just looking at the tally the other day. We've got men who've been with us for 2700 days, hence being here for eight seasons or into it. We're nearly, nearly at eight seasons and about start our ninth in a few months. Crazy. I was looking through, man, there was like Jed Keo was 14, 14 days exactly. Remember that number and some of the other guys, which I'll do some, some mentions and shout outs on another episode. But crazy, man. To see how many thousand day members. 1400-1200-1700-1800. Two and a half thousand. 2,700. I think it's 2,700 or 904. I'll have to have a look at that. Whatever our inception date was, which was, um, in 2018. Crazy. And here you are, man. You're leading a squad of over, over a hundred men. That how you finding us so far, Harding? It's good to have you on with us, bro. It's about time. It's long overdue. We're gonna do a podcast as a member, we thought. Nah, you know what? Let Harding just rip in for a few years and fucking crush it and then we'll do a bigger and better podcast. Was that the plan?

Yes. Yes, sir. A hundred percent. Yeah. It's a long time coming. We have spoke about it, but. But, yeah, phenomenal, mate. And I suppose we'll touch on that today. I guess the journey from. From where it was to. To now. But yeah, leading these honor and privilege to do so, they are, yeah, absolute weapons. And as you said there, everyone comes in at different timelines too, right. Different stages of life, different across the board. Family, self and service where they're at. So of course some, some rest quicker than others. That's just the nature of the beast. But again, like you said there with the guys with the amount of days, I've actually got some myself. So Ivan in SA, he's up to 600 days now, I believe. Who was it? Yeah, Ivan's the longest standing night and we've got Andy down in Canberra, he's at 600 now and a few others coming up too who are on the podcast with you. I think this last month with Jeff and Sean, they're coming up 600 too. So it's amazing when you look at that in the days and what's to come and wow, what's the number 600 for those guys? Like far out, you know, so it's, yeah, powerful stuff. And for me it's such a, such an honour, mate. Get to spend so much time with these men and help and go through. And I'm always learning too right off these guys and how do we get through this together? And as you've touched on before, like I haven't been a 55 year old man, neither of you, but somehow we still make it work right through the wonder many the experiences we have inside of here, which is, which is phenomenal. So it's. Yeah, it's a privilege, mate.

Yeah, man. And that's the biggest thing, like I love about HPF that me, selfishly, man, like I get so much out of the men and watching and learning and you know, okay, not 55, we've helped a few thousand fifty plus year olds already. So it's like, all right, well just watch, model, emulate the good things, cut away the bad. And then when you're working with one guy who's 52 years of age, you can say, hey man, like I've worked with 83 guys who are over 50 now and this is a common thread of what to do, what not to do and then you paint that picture. And of course patterns are similar in our own, right. It clicks. So it's, it's, it's a, it's a beautiful thing, man, that I just feel like I've just got such, you know, turning 40 last year, that, that's great halfway point in Some aspects, depending on the years I will live. But from a life average point of view, 78, I think it is for Australian men, somewhere between 78 and 81. But it's the wisdom of all the other men just watching. And the younger guys. The younger guys have some cool stuff too, whether it's the new age on how they're adaptive to change technology and other things, or just that younger firepower that we know the unicorn blood in, in times where we're in our 20s and early 30s is like, Ah, now I get it. Now I realize how, how much energy I had. And it's not that you take for granted. You just don't know. Like, Even now at 40, I'm in great shape and lots of energy and, and fit. But man, you got to be real measured with your energy and. But then you've got the older bulls that are just more seasoned but going through different challenges and we're helping them go through their, their wives who are perimenopause, or their kids who are entering the years of, of, of rebellion and separation in some aspects because they want to break away and carve out their own life. And it's a, I wouldn't say playground because it's very serious and hard work that we love doing, but it's a beautiful ecosystem, Harding, that we, that we learn from. And that's, I guess that's what I love most men like. And I've spoken about this so many times, you know, what qualifies anyone to do anything? Results. But it's, it's, it's that, it's, it's being in the dirt on the battleground, digging in with the men and working through them and their life and what they need and providing that pathway and ultimately through that pathway that we create, it drives the best results and then it drives the mission and the brand. And before I cut to you and your story, man, that's a really important thing to understand, fellows. Like, the legitimacy of our brand and the human approach. Like, AI is savage, mate. Like, there'll be apps, there'll be everything. There'll be everything within the next couple of years. Like, you know, there'll be AI. You guys could go and get your own personal assistant through GPT and he'll search all of the web and run through the five love languages and all that bullshit with you. But it's like, yeah, cool, but are you actually a human? And how do you show your empathy and care? Not through words on response, because I'm feeling flat today, but through the conversations through the connections, through the events that we want to push for a thousand this year in person catch ups and everything else in between where we've got the pathway, we've got the journey of a man, we've got the avatars that he moves through. It's. You just can't, no matter how good technology now becomes, you just can't make that shit up. You can't fabricate it from nothing. So it's an interesting journey we've had so far, man, in, in helping so many men and you being one of those leaders, the forefront now, Harding, in, in what we've done. I guess before we cut to your story though, mate, what, what have been? What has been or what what have been? Some of the biggest takeaways that you've gotten so far. Like biggest lessons or eye openers, you know, you've obviously been exposed to, to, you know, hundreds of men come to cozy as well. That, that was incredible. You know, one of our retreats. But what, yeah, what, what's been the biggest or the biggest one to three things that's really stuck for you, man. It's really like landed. It could be a one liner from a member, it could be an experience or what's been the biggest thing you've seen, mate, since you've joined the, you know, the brother with the ecosystem and been here?

I think it's a common ground, right? Everyone wants more, their desire's there for more. I think that's something that across the board that was, I thought that was apparent. But every onboarding call now with a new member, so forth, there's so many patterns and like we say the pattern recognition from man to man, whether that in their life, whether it be the burnt out provider, disconnect, husband, these things, it's like, it's so common. So for me it's like it's, it's, it's almost like, well, how can I, how can I assist this person? For they are now based off all the past things which we've gone through. But that's what it is. It's like the common ground of where men are at and the desire for what they want. Which is again like you touched on. Yeah, AI is great, awesome. I can have this. But does it mean anything? Does it actually bring us closer? Like we're far more disconnected now that we have more means of connection. Right? It's such a common thing, everyone knows but it's that desire for like the brotherhood and the meaning and so forth and to leave a legacy and, and I think that's one of the biggest takeaways I've had is no matter where the men are when they come in, by age, by whatever it may be, there's always a tipping point, right? And that's the thing for me where it's a common ground of all right, it's time to go now. This is the line in the sand. I have to pull my finger out. So that would be one of them, I think in that second one would just be connection I guess through the men too. Through the one to many like having watching from the background too like the members catching up and so forth. And yeah, I catch up with guys every Thursday. It's awesome. You know, have a workout and a swim and a coffee and how good, right? So that connection piece is massive. And then through that is then breaking ground on what you touched on before. Oh, I've got a 14 year old son who said, oh, so do I. Cool. How can we break that together, right? Have that there which is massive. So yeah, the connection, the community, it's massive. But I think just the common ground of everyone with that desire for more, desire to get better, desire to leave a legacy and not just be a. You know, like you've mentioned before, everyone's dead, yet there's walk around, they just don't know it, right? So everyone in here is that desires more and that's something that's stands out to me and it's, it just keeps that hunger going, right? Because it's, it's almost like you come in and you know these guys are champions. They just got to put them in a championship team, right? And it's just going to take off.

And look, HBF doesn't have to be your answer, man. You know, I appreciate you guys listening to this member non member, but it's like fuck no. No man ever achieved greatness by walking the path alone. But then on the flip side like, like we've spoken about dead, just not buried yet. It's a tough, this is a tough thing man, because a lot of you guys listening to this like you, you still have that inside you like that. Maybe it's just smoldering and you know, maybe you need a bit of kindling and you need some of the packets of that white that's extremely dangerous that you buy it bunnings and it lights it up or I can't remember what it's called and you just, you just rip in and that's, that's the, the awakening for your second half. I'm not sure but it's it's still in there. It's still in there.

And it's.

I was talking about this with my wife though, about mental states and ignorance is bliss. But also protective, right? It's like when people are going through life, there are moments where they can just become too far gone. Where a woman makes an emotionally based decision and then just chooses to divorce her husband thinking that the grass is greener and then it's not. And it's like, okay, but is she gonna own that truth and that realization in 10 years time when she's in her 50s and all the things she thought she would have, could have or has held onto in value, social status and beauty, it's all fucking dissipated and she's got nothing. You know, her children are estranged from her because dad fought for the relationship and they now can see that truth. It goes both ways. I'm just talking on the front of an example of. Unfortunately many men we've helped who've come to the party. But you know, the one handed clap just doesn't really. Just doesn't really work, right? Takes two hands to clap. So when I look at that Harding, it's a tough one for a lot of these men listening because you guys is like, you got that? But hard to action that ambition and desire for more if you don't have an overwhelming saturated level of examples to showcase the possibilities, which is what I love most. Obviously Harding, love you and the coaches man, and everything else in between. But what I love most is the representation, the energy, the embodiment of hpf which is the possibilities that are proven. Possibilities that are proven. Possibilities that are proven minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month, like every every Friday. So just for you guys, like we work our organization on a slack channel, coaches will jump in and just pump like fucking 50 to 100 screenshots of wins for the whole organization to say. And it's like mate, like I can't even keep up man. Like it's. I know it's, it's probably a lazy thing, but I'm like, man, I'm like, I gotta, I wanna post all these stories on Facebook. But then I'll have Facebook where you've got like a millimeter wide thread because there's 50 posts on there and I know about you, but if I ever see that on stories, I just stop immediately cause it's too much. But it's like, wow, that's crazy. But if you don't have that, man, that's like the woman in her mid-50s. Or maybe you. It's. It's. You're not a broken man. These stories you can't hold on to so much as possible. We'll talk about that with you today in your journey, Harding, like, what a crazy run you've had, man. And. And for most people, it's this protection thing, right, where if they did come to facts with reality, which people do. I'm not saying everyone just ignorantly covers it, but it is a protective mechanism. You end up with nervous breakdowns, mate. You would have a complete mental breakdown because of the horror of the regret of the. Wow. Fuck me, mate. I can't believe. Because there's always opportunities in life, but there's never the same. You'll never have the same ones. It's impossible, man, ever. Ever. So, yeah, you can have an opportunity in your late 60s, but what's the weighting? What's the heaviness? What's the power? What's the impact of that opportunity? You know, I've got an opportunity. I'm 68 years of age and I can rebuild the last 12 years of my life on my own because my kids don't fucking talk to me and I've got no wife and I've been drifting, but I can maybe learn a new trade and. And work for 12 more. Like. Yeah, of course there's always different purposes and different opportunities, but. Wow, that's a. That's a. That's a pretty somber one, man, at best. Compared to building a kingdom with a. With a. A plethora of assets in people, places, opportunities, connections, networking, family members, extended family, mentorship, mentees. Wow. A little bit different. So just understand that, man. First and foremost, we talk about wanting more. Harding spoke about that's one of the biggest things he got. Wanting more and the desire for more in ambition. There's nothing wrong with that, but there could be a hiccup, a risk, a real risk, or quote, unquote, something wrong with the opposite. Smothering, suppressing, hiding away, covering, not having an ambition or a desire to be more. Walk us through your journey, man. Give us a bit of a background, Harding, and. And then let's just. We'll tailor that into, yeah, I guess what life was like before hpf. You know, beautiful family and an interesting dynamic that you work really well with. But it would have been tough for you before you became a head coach inside of hpf. Yeah, walk us through a bit of your journey and your background, man, and then where life was before hbf.

Yes. Yeah, Well, I actually I grew up on the Gold coast originally. I'm one of the four other siblings or different mums. I've got my mum and dad. They were together up till I was 10. They separated there the normal fractions that may happen through that time and then from that. I grew up on the Gold coast. At a point there I had an apprenticeship seeking more. Wanted to move somewhere else and end up moving up here to North Queensland. But in that time did meet my beautiful wife Casey and that was great. That was the best thing that's ever happened to me and seeking that those comforts that was just yeah shout out to her. I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am right now if it wasn't for her supporting and not just through right now. It's like you start to piece things together from years gone by and I'm sure you did that with Karine too. It's like ah, this moment here, how different would that be if I didn't have this here and so forth. So yeah, that was excellent. And then we made a decision to move up to North Queensland together. Casey already had an 18 month old daughter when I met her summer so she's our eldest and she's actually 18 and far out in yeah less than two weeks which is, which is pretty scary. Pretty scary to think mate but. But yes, crazy times. And then yeah moved up here to Townsville, North Queensland started our new life. We had, we tried to have kids at the start, had a few struggles there and ended up just started happening and happened quite quick with a couple with the gap in between two of them. But yes, ended up having two more beautiful daughters than a young little fella, another son which was great. And I suppose through those times and always I do a lot of reflection and looking back but it's like through those times it's like far out, like missed out on a lot by way of what I was doing with work, right. So I was in the mining industry doing fifo. A lot of time away. A lot of time spent, you know, chasing what we all do which is like oh, I've got to provide right I've got to do this. And it always comes at a cost. It always is like we say two sides of the same coin. Say yes to this, it's no to something else. Right. So by way of doing that that just kept creeping through like I touched on before cases. Phenomenal Mother has been the backbone of this family throughout those times where. And a lot of guys that I resonate well with when they, when they come from that flyco background, it's like, ah, you know, the wife says this. I'm like, yeah, well, I know, I've been there. It's, it's, it's through lived experience. I can see where she's at, mate, because my wife was there and she's in that masculine mode because she has to fucking do the dishes and the chores and the dinners and look out for kids and she's able to stimulate, yeah, to go on, but that's where we're at. So then for me, I built that life through what we had there. Like I said, a lot of time away. Built a beautiful home here, North Queensland, where we are. It's great foundations, but there was always something, something missing, right? And I was in that, that common, common drift. And I say common now just based off society and where we're at. And even the men that do, you know, make the choice to step through the gates, but there is that drift, right? So if I look at. I think I was 20, only 24, 25, and the three girls then, and, you know, I'm looking back then to now and it's like, far out. There's a lot of wasted time, a lot of wasted opportunities and so forth. But what was the main issue? It's the drift, right? It's like just doing what you always do. It's like, oh, well, a man does this, so I do this. So, you know, so. And so does this. So I do it. And you just keep following emotions, right? And that's such a big trap to, to fall into, which is what most men go into. And that's where I was too. It's like just drifting, just drifting. And then I got to a point, I'm like, far out. I just. I want more. I just need. Need something different in my. In my life. And I just wasn't content. Like, I just. And we actually had our call out. And it's funny, it's like two years ago, right? Far out. It's crazy how quick that went. And it seems like a lifetime ago, but it's like things weren't horrible, but it's like I'm fucking just floating. Like I just. I'm in the same process doing the same crap over and over and over, right? So. And yeah, through that, found my way into here, which was, which was phenomenal. And I suppose a pivotal moment that led me to, to that. And I feel like the shackles that were released too is unfortunately, my old man passed away the back end of 2023. But that was where I Was like tying into identity, right? And what am I doing? Why am I doing it? For this, you know, for who I thought I was or who I thought he would have been and so forth. So a different dynamic there. But again it's like once that's gone, you realize, and we touched on this in our first catch up in Brisbane in 2024. It's like far out like when you realize that you're the last one, like you're the only one that's going to save yourself and so forth. And that's it, you're the head now. And I'm looking back at the and I see young Kane. I'm like, well he's got to live up to some big expectations and what am I going to provide for him and so forth. So those moments there are where it's like, okay, and I think death's always a big one too for when we look at that in life we have those crossroads and things that you're like okay, well now it is serious, right? It puts a bit more emphasis on it. So that was maybe a tipping point too where I'm like, well what am I doing? Am I going to be the 72 year old concreter that passed away like that or am I going to be something different? Right? So it's a tough thing to go through but again it's like, well how do you get the other side of that? How do you go through? And then seeking obviously HPF what we had here. And like I touched on, we spoke and, and it wasn't that things were, were horrible. It's like hey, I'm just drifting. I just want more. I just don't want to be a another number or statistic.

The doing the. What did you say? I just wrote a few notes here doing the same thing again and again and again. I wrote why was that a problem? But subtle. But so was it time away with the. Oh and mate, fucking ripping share as well by the way. And solid insights to help those listening who don't know your journey as well as I do. The precursor into hpf. But yeah, why is that a problem man? Doing the same thing again and again. Was it fifo, which is tough. We help and serve a lot of men who are or not even fifo businessmen everywhere that are away from home, flying away, Interstate, international. But what was, I guess what was eating away at you that made you want to change? Or was it that in conjunction with wanting to have more impact instead of just being a belt spicer? So I called it spicing not splicing, unfortunately. And the boys just fucking ripped into me, which was good. And one of our off sites, it's like I'm visualizing Harding just. Just trickling salt all over the machines belt. Splicing is a little bit different, but. Yeah. Was it that, hey, I want more. I want to do more than this. It was it. I'm not home with my family. My children only see me half of their life. You know, that. That's a. That's a real thing. And this isn't taking shit like we're here to serve so many, so many men in that position, because men, it's not just time, it's impact. We speak about this so that, that's. We really pride ourselves on helping men who not. Not stuck. But that is a career path they've chosen, still make it work and make it thrive. But. Well, you're right, man. You know, life and death does change things. Like my little one being born in November. It really does. And the passing and knowing that it's all on you, like what. What led to. So you spoke about with the old man, but I guess. Yeah, yeah. What's the problem with just doing the same thing?

Why.

Why was that something you wanted to change? And then also, do you want to dive a bit deeper, mate, into, I guess, the old boy and the lessons or what you learned or some more realizations? That'd be good, man.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I think it is. The time, the time factor. You don't realize how much time you've got until you have that moment when you look back and realize how much you've Was. Right. So for me, I'm only 36 now, so I've caught it pretty early. Right. Which I'm pretty thankful for. But yeah, I think when I look at it, and I left one job to start my own thing up, and the point of that was to not work the kids birthdays. That was something. I'm like, all right, cool. I've got kids that are now 6, 8, so forth. 15, 14. And it's like, okay, well, how many birthdays have I missed? All right, that's my line on the scene. I'm going to start this now. To not do that. Right. That was a great insight. Great. Okay, this is what I'm going to do. Did I action it completely? No, because I was still banned by the same thing. Right. Still doing the same thing over and over again, just in a different tenure. Right. It's like instead of working for a company, now work for myself and do the same Thing, expect a different result, right? It doesn't happen. It's just what it was. So for me it was that it was the birthdays, the time. And then I think there was many moments that led to it too, where we'd go through family photos and I'm sure people, whether you've got an iPhone or Samsung, where it may be, it might pop up and say, memories, right? So here's some memories from a few years ago. And it's like, oh, this trip, where were you, Dad? I was at work. And then like through their eyes. What for? Well, I was there to provide, but they don't see that I'm not coming home with a hundred dollar bills and we're going out and doing things. You know what I mean? It's literally like dad's awake. I'm saying there's no value there for them. So that was one for me at the time where I'm looking at it, I'm going far out, the kids are getting older. I'm doing the same thing. There's no sort of exit through here that you know. And I'm sure guys are in construction, mining would know. You see the old guy in the smoker and you think, fuck, I don't want to be that. You know, like, that's not what I want to be. So how do I get out of that? How do I change through that to make sure I'm not doing that? So for me it was that. It was the time, I think, looking back to the time I had at home. So sometimes I'd work for weeks at a time away, get home case. And I'd laugh. We laughed about now. It was like the honeymoon period, right? First three, four days back. Wow, how good is this? Dad's home. We're all into it and then boof. Just downhill again. It's like I'm already ruminating, I've got to go back, I've got to earn money, got to do this. When's the next job? All right? I can't cope with the kids because they're so loud. I'm not used to it and so forth. And that's like, it's like, that's your duty, mate. That's your job. You should be here doing that. You know what I mean? What, you can't handle your own kids for a couple of weeks. And not that it was ever at that point, but it's like, why am I now escaping from this where this is what I'm working for is for them, right? So. And we talk about all the time. So I, I'd feel for my kids, like what you live for. Would you actually go through and change everything about your lifestyle so you actually can be more present and locked in and give them what they need. So yeah, those ones there, big, big moments. And like you say, life and death, it is that too. So we had one moment there where my wife unfortunately lost her brother in 2019. That was hard. That was really tough. And then even through that reflecting now it's like, what did I do? I just went and worked to escape, right? To keep providing for what I can. Oh, here you go, Case. Here you go kids. Like, yeah, let's get through this hard period, right? So that was a big opener too. And he was only 34, unfortunately, you know, so young. It's like even now when I look at my nephew and lease, I'm like, far out. It's so short, right? It's crazy. But. And then, and then obviously when the old man went, it's like, all right, well this is it now. This is the second time I've had this sort of a, what they call it an epiphany or a moment. It's like, right, what's going to happen now? What's going to become. And we had some tough times, Case, and I, no doubt about it, it's like we had some really tough conversations and we've had that there. And I think something that she said to me once is like, well, you just like your dad. And I was like, fuck, that hurt. You know, that was like. And this was a fair few years ago, but. And it didn't resonate at the time, I was like, nah, bullshit, I'm nothing. I'm nothing like that. You know, of course I'm doing things different, but it's not. I'm doing the same thing. Like I said, same thing over and over again, except being different result, right? Just cause I go and do mining, but he does construction. Yet we're on the same path, right? So that one there was something too where I'm like, right, is it worth me going down this here, continuing this here and even when you look at say if you're in business, right, so hey, I want to build out this business. Yep. It always comes at a cost, right? There's always a front loading there of that. So is that worth the first 10 years of 3 year K life? Maybe fucking not. So, you know, maybe, maybe rethink it, right? That's where it comes in. It's like, what am I doing? Why am I doing it? That was a big one for me. I'm like, well, if I keep going down this path, I'm only going to lose more time with the kids and so forth and more birthdays than these things. And something that actually resonated when I was listening to the podcast, before I'd even had our chat mate, was that it was like, I think you said something along the lines of you can't go back and put them as an 8 year old and do the birthday over. Right. It just doesn't happen. It's like that time's gone, that's, that's completely amiss. Right. So yeah, through that. And I think, you know, I mean, we could probably have a whole podcast on what me and the old man got up to. And you know, I suppose through that there too, it's like he was a great man, you know, good father, but. But he's the one that was a great bloke. Shit husband, you know, I mean like so married multiple, multiple times. Like I said, different children, so forth, but amazing man. But just in that sense was very different and different eras too, right. Growing up with a, a father who's from World War II and so forth and all those dynamics that come in and grow up the 50s and whatnot. But yeah, I think on that there, that's where I was like, well, do I want to be the kid's mate or do I want to be their father and the one that actually goes in there too. And that was a moment for me too, once that passed. And then, don't get me wrong, I love the old man. And like we've had off sites, we spoke about it and you know, fucking phenomenal. But at the same time it's like, well, I've got to leave something different here I can't be doing. Yeah, I guess to put it simply, would I do the things that me and my old man did together with my son now? Absolutely fucking not. And that's not to be here hanging shit or anything like that as well. It's just like different timelines, you only know what you know, so forth. So that was something too where I got to that point and I'm a bit of a deep reflection and I was actually on site and I'm just like far out. I'm working 84 plus hours a week away from home. I've got a couple of hours each night to myself. It's down the wet mess, just talking shit with people that don't even matter to me. I'm here to people please them because that's just what we do. And we're all in the same fucking boat. And then families at home and, you know, I mean, like, all these things tie in. It's like you have that. That aha moment, and then that's. It's. Yeah, time to pull the trigger.

Isn't life crazy, man? We spend the first half of our life building and creating, but through the pinch point, which is absolutely. Men in your 30s and 40s, you run the risk of what you've built in that first half, being completely pulled, tripped away, or not having access to being able to be involved with that in the second half of your life. And whether you get divorced or not, whether it's the court's fault or not, it's a real thing. Tough, isn't it? Tough. What would you say, Harding? Because you push pretty hard from a business point of view and providing for the family. You've got shares from your father and insights from hundreds of men you've already connected with and served. What would be your greatest tips or bits of advice for men? Yeah, you've already dropped some gold nuggets, man. It's been epic. But what would be some advice for men listening who are in that grind? Yeah, I know what you're saying, mate, but I just can't. I've got to keep providing or I got to keep doing this, or we need the money, or, like, I do get that, but also, it's like, what's your philosophy? What's your view? What is it like? Okay, that's true, but for how long? Like, we all have our seasons of grinding. Oh, mate, you know, I haven't. But it does feel like I've grinded for, like, 25 years, you know, in. In trying to carve out the path with life, but absolutely. In the last 15 or 17, professional sports and traumatic experiences, family, self and service and businesses and failures and. And no money and being homeless and all the other shit in between. But, you know, as well as having kids. Crazy. Yeah, man. It's like, yeah, but how long. How long would that last for? And then what's at the end of that? And so, boys, I understand completely. You might be in a position where it's like, all right, great podcast, man. Can't fucking do anything in the next 24 hours. That may be true, but it depends on what lens you're looking through. What? Actioning, starting a new job, shifting your entire trajectory in life. Yeah, maybe not, but starting to stoke the fire, get a few flames going.

Shift.

Which will talk about you and Your transition into a completely different career path with us. Yeah, it's possible because Harding's not even a thousand days into HPF from his first inception as a member, yet here he is. Which you'll share about your life. But before that. Yeah, man tips, advice. What you see is such a common thread of grinding with all the right intent, but for the wrong reasons, through the eyes of others, which alienates you from those you want to build your life with, that pull away from you. What would you say? Like, what are some one liners, wisdom tips from what you've obviously seen and firsthand experienced for those men out there who currently are in that pinch point or that pressure cooker right now?

Yeah, it's a tough one because you're right. It's like, well, this is all good. I can listen this, I can be motivated for 24 hours and then what? Nothing happens, right? You go back to the same patterns because you've got the same environment. But. But I think it's acceptance, accepting where you are right now and then just being like, okay, am I gonna accept this in 10 years time? Like, just sit on that there. Would I be happy? You know, say you've got two kids there, six and eight, and in 10 years time, you've missed out on another 10 years, you haven't taken the footy train or netball, these things. And they're now 18 and 16 and you've bought them a car. That's cool. And then when they go, then what? I mean, like, that's a big one. They're accepting where you're at right now. And then like, okay, will I accept that in the future there? And I think it starts with actions. As we know, actions build confidence. It has to be that. It's something that, like New Year's Eve, right? Oh, far out. Here's my big intentions for the year. And then it just fails, right? Cause it starts with actions. It starts with those there. So you might not be able to do it today. You might not. Of course, you can't just go, oh, that's it. I'm gonna sell my business, quit my job and live on the ranch as a hippie. Like, of course we've got responsibilities, we've got things we have to do. But that doesn't mean you can't plan for it now. You can't start to action it now. As far as what's stopping you from actually sitting down with your wife or even on your own and going, right, five year plan. Where do I be in five years? How can I Start actioning that today. Reverse engineer that. You know what starts today? Well, do you have a fucking calendar? No. Okay, that might be a good start. Go through there, if you know what I mean. Like, do you know what you're doing? Do you know why you're doing it? What is the why behind it? Have you actually asked the kids what they prefer? You know, did I actually want you away these times? And if not, so, okay, well, knowing full well, I can't just quit the job now. But hey guys, here's my two year plan. In two years I want to be doing this, whatever it may be. So that's a big one. Acceptance of where you are and then just knowing that there is potential. Right? You touched on the start. It's very hard to see when you're not in that, like, far out. I mean, for where I am now, from where I started. So I started my first apprenticeship as a boilermaker on the Gold coast city council to where I am now. Like, fuck, who would have thought, right? And that's something where everyone has that ability to definitely change, to do that. And it's so hard to make change. It is. That's why people stay the same. It's so easy to be comfortable. And those same habits that you go through and that comfortability just kills, kills growth, kills everything. So definitely in that you can change, there is a possibility. Accept where you're at, seek more 100%, seek that advice, guidance, these things break down your own walls, break down the ego. As far as you know, is it people pleasing tendencies, is it through the family, extended these things, keeping up appearances, you know what I mean? Like, you see that the Facebook or Instagram couples that are all high and mighty and there's DV behind the video, right? And the house has gone to shit and kids hate each other, you know what I mean? Like, there's plenty of those stories so that really like going in there, as far as what am I doing, why am I doing it? Accepting where you're at, knowing it can change. But I think if you want the greatest example on why you should just go walk through a cemetery. Just go walk through a cemetery and be like, right, this is where I'm going to end up. I come in the same way as I leave. I come in with nothing, I leave with nothing. So what's more important that I could say, hey, on my deathbed, wow, look at all the stuff I've got. You know, the materialistic things that mean nothing yet the kids hate me, they don't talk to me I don't have a wife and so forth, you know, and you, yes, it's hard if that's already happened, but it's not saying you can't rebuild, right? What's worse, you know, And I think just that one alone, if you walk through there, have a look. And that was a powerful moment for us. Just recently we were down there visiting my brother in law's headstone for his seven years since he'd been passed away. He's here, he's 34. The one next to him was a 101 year old lady, right? And you're like, far out. That's crazy. Wow. And you're reading, it's like, grandchild, great, great, you know, mother. All these things, like, far out, crazy. And then you look into my next. It's like 68, 31, 20, 50, like, fuck. Wow. This is crazy, right? And that puts things into perspective. So it's like you're gonna end up there no matter what. Yes. It's hard to talk about it and say it in that blunt way, but it is that. So it's like if that's not enough to make you want to change, well, maybe start with the fight, regrets, the dying. That book might give you some insights too, as far as getting to that point and being like, okay, I want to live a life that's true to me, to myself. What I really want, not what others want. And I liken this to getting married, right? Like, I'm sure if I got married again now with Case obviously rewriting our vows, but of course it would be. Half the people would be gone, right? Because you only have people there because it's like so and so on this and all these people that don't, they don't mean any life, right? It's like, I guarantee most guys who have got married, it's like on that waiting list, who do you still speak to? Like weekly, you know, apart from family. It's like, probably not on that, right? So in that there, live a life that's true to. You have that desire for more, accept where you're at, seek the help and just. And just fucking go for it. Start taking action. It's not gonna. It's all well, well and good, having the intentions, right? But it's like, say if you're 120 kilos, I need to get fit. Well, saying that alone is not gonna do it, right? Get your shoes ready. Get your shit ready. Go for a walk in the morning. Put your shoes on, go. Like, just start small. Those little actions will definitely Build the confidence that flows into saying things with the kids, it's like, oh, they don't wanna talk to me. And this, it's like, well, have you tried. Have you tried getting on their level? Have you tried looking through their eyes as far as what they're seeing? You know, there's many, many ways through that. But a bit of a tangent there, mate. As me and Ed joke about being the protagonist. We tend to. Tend to wander and chat a bit. But yes, there's a few insights there.

I'm just thinking I can get you to take over the podcast for a few months, mate. Give me a bit of a break.

But

hey, you were overweight, weren't you? Oh, you sent me a photo, mate. I didn't recognize you. So you speak about just taking action, ripping in. It's always good, fellas, when that sort of advice comes from both real live stories and your battle scars of showing change, which Tom always reveals. But also being an antagonist or a leader for that, in influencing that in others, which is what Harding's doing with the. With the knights. But, you know, it's. It's a crazy book, man. The top five regrets of the Dying. Bronwyn Ware, I think was the name of the author. That's brutal, man. Like, fellas, it's. Even the tombstones you just mentioned, all those different numbers.

Wow.

Yeah. We did a big piece at Cozy on purpose.

What?

Out of life. The thing is, fellas, and it's so easy, especially post Cosby, we all get dragged back into it. I come home from Cozy, massive throat infection. I got my daughter, which is nine days old at the time. I feel like I haven't stopped and taken a breath of air. And it's like fucking three months later. Crazy, crazy life. But. But here's the thing. Like, life is. Life is everything that's happening whilst you're focused, fixated on this pin drop ahead of time that the car, the bank account balance, the fix, whatever it is in your head frees you and unlocks you so you can quote, unquote, start living. That's all life is all the you're chewing up, man. Life is everything you're using up until that point that for some reason you've justified as a pin drop that says, ah, when that moment comes, the unlock happens. I'm free. I'm free. And instead of just honoring with gratitude, not as a noun, but as a verb, action based, not naming, showing gratitude through who you can become, but. But also it. It's. It doesn't mean, hey, just Be happy with what you got, you know, and, and don't do anything either. Like, is that going to help you? Maybe? Probably not. Have you earned the right to be happy? That's a very. Like, what I said just sounds a pretty controversial thing, Harding. How dare you, Al? What do you mean, mate? What do you mean? If I earn the right to like, it's my choice. Yeah, absolutely, it's your choice. But when I say earn the right to be happy, fellas, look inside of your life and ask yourself what drives happiness the most in you? And more often than not, it's seeing progressive change in who you've become and the impact you have. So I'm not saying it's a hard written law, but me, mate, you want to experience and give yourself permission to be happy every single day. On the other side of that statement is one simple fucking thing. Grow, become more, become better, do more, do better, do less of the shit

that pulls you away from that.

So again, I'm not saying as controversial as what I said could be interpreted subjectively the wrong way. It's like, no, no, no, man. Happiness is absolutely within your power and control. But how can you engineer it every single day as opposed to have it fleeting or worse yet, let someone else, even me, define what happiness should be to you. You can completely disagree. Awesome. But how's your life working out for you? Whereas if you want the formula which is tried and proven, yeah, man, like, mate, my life's a gift. I've gone through some horrific, man, HBF's, nearly died several times over in the early years, mate, crazy. Sold everything, put everything into this whilst having more children. 75 of those children were IVF. That's a battle and a half. Roman was the only natural surprise. Crazy. Crazy. Yet I look back and man, I'm so blessed and happy and lucky and like, why not? Because their affirmations to try and jack me up in a fucking state for the day. No, it's because I look back and I'm like, far out. I've grown so much, man, I could lose everything or lose everything again. So I haven't, I haven't lost the most valuable thing, which is Al and who Al is now and who I can and, and who I can continue to become and what I can engineer in value. Husband, father, man, member of society. You, you'll never. And I don't follow him, but he did talk about this Tony Robbins, because I think in his 40s he got divorced and lost nearly everything. So the dude attained massive amount of wealth. He's been going since the 80s, 50 something, and then got divorced and got nailed with all that stuff. But now between his 40s and now, I think he's 65 or 67, he's achieved like fucking 10 times the amount of wealth in that 20 year period that he did 30 years prior. Crazy. So it's not, hey, you gotta earn the right to be happy. But it's like, fellas, you can give yourself permission to do that. If you look at your life and your purpose and like you're saying Harding, just fucking get up and go and. And one of the formulas is, is this in simple sense, fellas, when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change, you'll move. Here's the trap that you men out there, you men, you people. I remember that for me, myself and Irene. What do you mean, you people? Oh, fuck. When men, when you're out there, the risk you face in that statement, pain of remaining the same, is greater than the pain of change. The risk you run is this cloud of judgment on what, when and where this pain is. So, so let's, let's do an exercise. And it's not even joining hpf. It's the stuff Harding mentioned, like actions, habits, get some structure in your life, get your shit together, do some health and fitness, learn how to understand relationship dynamics and what your wife values and how to communicate that clearly. Like fundamental things that we nail on the inside. Because it's more than just that. It's implementation, support, accountability, redirection, overcoming acute hurdles or roadblocks or traumas. Accidents happen. And having someone in your corner to re. Navigate, reorient yourself. Yeah, man, have a look at that and go. All right, well, let's break this down. The pain of remaining the same versus the pain of change. The pain of change might be, I've got to look at my calendar and go, ah, man, I do fuck all. And life just moves me around. That's a bit of a gut check, right? We all have the egoic self. I don't believe you can ever dissolve it forever. But get him out of driving the seat, get him out of the driver's seat of the bus and. And put you in charge again and face some hard, honest truths. The pain of change. Okay, yeah, I've got to get fitter. I've got to do this. These are the actions I need to do. I need to put my hand up and ask for help. That's a pain of. That's a pain of change. But the problem is men stay Stuck, Harding. Because this is the risk. I was saying that all you boys face the pain of remaining the same is very biased. It's very biased because if your life isn't in complete turmoil right now, and it could be tomorrow, your wife could already pack her bags and you don't even know. And that's not me putting doubt in your mind. That's just sharing observations of truth that men have shared with us in confidence in their consulting calls where they're fucked up and they didn't know what happened.

Right.

Really shocked. So when you look at the pain remaining the same, you're measuring that with a biased lens because you don't know what's ahead or happening. But if I'm measuring the pain of remain the same, I'm measuring right now. Oh, I'm sitting in my office working. Yeah, things could be better. So. No, no, no. Stack. You need to fucking stack this, man. The pain of remaining the same. Future. Pace that. Cast that out into the future. Walk, walk that timeline. Remaining the same in a week, a month, a year, three years time, four years time, 11 years time, 18 years time. Now walk through that over the next 6,000 days, the next 20 years. I remain the same. What pain could I possibly have? I'm on my deathbed. Like, fellas, you need to collate because you have two parts to fork in the road. You need to collate your entire life and make a comparison of where your life will be over the next 20, 30, 40 years and accumulate. Compound all of that pain. You need to accumulate all that. Cause that's the path you remain on if nothing changes. You need to accumulate all of that and then sit there and use that like, like, you know, like the scales. Put that on one side of the fucking scales and then on the other side of the scales, the pain of change is. Commit to walking three times a week for 30 minutes. Do the high performance communication course. I don't know if that's publicly available, but you know, if you want it, guys, send us admin@highperformancefiler.com we'll give it to you. Do the high performance communications course. So I learned how to communicate better at work with my wife, creating more intimacy with her, with my children, leading the family, being the chief and, and do that, do that course. Fucking 30 minutes a week and the two hour course is complete within a month. That, that's, that's the pain of change. Hey, invest in some skill sets and move my body a bit more. You have to change everything tomorrow. Just do that so Sorry, fellas. Not to this.

Probably.

I probably should have done this. Harding sitting there tapping his watch, going, oh, you fucking talk more than me and Ed, mate. Sorry, Alex, it's next week, man. I got to do. But I. I don't. I probably should have done that in a separate episode. But, boys, that's a. That's it. I've said enough on that. When you. The pain of remaining the same outweighs the pain of change, that's when a man will move. The problem is you're using the wrong metrics and measuring tools and timelines to justify that. The pain of change is more than the pain of remaining the same. Or it's not even close, mate. Not even close. An ounce of discomfort, an ounce of discipline, a fucking ton of regret. All that shit you hear and you've heard over a hundred years with all these quotes. They're all true. They're all true. Big balls, man. Big balls. Harding, changing your entire career and with nothing guaranteed from our end. Obviously, I want you to win and continually want you to win, but you started by reaching out and saying, hey, man, I just want to connect with guys and share my journey, my story, and help men take that step in joining. So call it sales, call it delivery, doesn't fucking matter. But, yeah, on the sales side, it's like, yeah, man, I want to be a coach and a consultant that connects with men and helps them if they're the right fit, if they're ready, take that step. And we failed at that. But, yes, you failed at that as well, because I tried to help you with that and it didn't work out. But then here you were, and you kept chipping away, kept digging in resources, you applied the learnings we did on that, on how to ask men tough questions and just sit in the room with them and ask them if they want to change and how they improve, and here's the game plan, and. And then you converted that into some rocket fuel, man, which has just become an unbelievable success story. But that's. That's a big step to take, man. Four kids, you're earning a lot of money. Obviously, with the work that you do, you've built a lifestyle. Like, that's a. To come in and give you, like, yeah, man, there's no guarantees, bro, but let's see how you go a bit more frame, a bit more structured than that. But yes, fundamentally, there's no guarantees. It's a big move, man. Walk through what's going through your head. And I guess, like, that's what a Lot of men might struggle with, and rightfully so, boys, it's not easy, but walk us through that, mate. Hpf, the results you get personally, the transition into having a crack and where you are now. Walk us through that, mate. And I'll be quiet for the next 45 minutes.

Yes. All right, we'll be here till next Friday. Now, if you just want to stay quiet there. No, no, that was good. That was some solid fire from yourself, mate. That's awesome. Awesome. Love it. For me, yeah. Came in, had big Eric, the big German, the commander, which was awesome. And we clicked straight away. He's like, mate, this is what you gotta do. Don't think time. Day challenge. Let's go. All right, let's run it back again. Let's do this. And then in my drive that I have, and my wife always says that sometimes it's at a detriment, I might be a bit too competitive or won't be satisfied until I've reached the top of whatever I'm doing. But in that too, it's like, well, I'm not gonna fail this. This is my first test. Right? Bank do that one. And that was the springboard, I think, coming in and just action. Action. Funny when you say the pain of, you know, staying the same, these things, you know, And I wasn't at that time. I think I was maybe. Maybe come in at like 90 kilos high 80, something like that. It wasn't. I was at 110 at one point. Fuck. Huge, you know, big, no neck. It was quite a sight. They'd call me Moonface. The kids when they see those photos. And you can't erase them, right? They're around forever, so. But yes, in that there, it was like, all right, well, the pain of staying the same would be, obviously, when I'm at camp. Cause I was doing this while still working, too, right? So I'm doing a 21 day challenge while I'm away on site, and I'm working 12, 13 hours a day, and I'm walking around a car park at night because the gym's shut early and there's no lights in there because I'm at this shithole. And you know what I mean? It's like, well. And people are like, oh, what are you doing there? You know? And it's like, am I gonna let their judgment stop me from changing? Cause this is the one thing now I need to do for myself, to keep going forward and so forth and choosing those directions. But that was a big one. Just to touch on what you said There. And at the start, it was that. It's like, well, I've got to cut away the shit that doesn't serve me now. Like, I've got. This is my purpose and my drive and my desire. So went through that and that was great. And then within the first couple of months, it was just all guns blazing. Things were going, you know, as I thought they would have, but probably a lot quicker, right, too. It's like, I've got the tools now, skill set. Having some awesome sessions there, going through the men on the inside, some great connections, going through the challenges we run. I think Winter wars was great. That first one that I did in there in 2024, and that was around a time that, you know, I didn't say, hey, I would love to do more. You know, I want more. Like, I was getting to the point of. I was. I was actually enjoying being at home. I was actually enjoying being at home. But no, I was. The kids were too, and the wife case going, fuck, how good is this to have you here? Like, you know, we joke about it now. It's like, we would have never been at this point where I stay at home and work with and be here 247 with her and the kids. It was always a joke. It was like, no, I can only be here for a few months of the year, otherwise we can't tolerate each other. You know what I mean? It was like, to go from that to now is massive. So, yeah, in that one there, reaching out and like you say it was, you know, I did put a lot of reps in early. I really have a desire for helping people. I want to see guys do better, especially off the back of, you know, I mean, if anyone wants to know, definitely reach out. I'm happy to delve more into, you know, how I've got here and so forth. But I mean, like, far out. Like, if you can see some patterns and you're like, hey, man, if you just don't do this and just start doing this, it'll change dramatically over the next couple of years, you know, like. Like to have that desired help. I wanted to do that. And like, when you broke it down, then it is so simple. It's like, hey, do these three things once a week, do this here, do this, get surrounded by some good people, cut the bullshit out and then see the changes. The lag measure, right, lead measure is always hard to tell, but the lag measure is huge when it comes through. And yes, obviously, obviously reached out. Did some awesome training with yourself and Naz it was quite funny. Naz and I joked about it when we were at. At Cozy and you know, I was on site, right. So I'm working 12 plus hours a day and here I am on Zoom at night practicing with Naz and getting our word tracks and these things. And. And we're talking. Fuck, we're going to help so many guys. It's going to be awesome. We're going to do this. And. And mate, hasn't Naz taken off? Wow, what a story. You know how he's gone. It's phenomenal. And obviously it didn't work out for me, right, but. But one thing in that is like taking ownership. It's like, for me, it's like, well, that didn't work. But again, these are the moments, right? And it's something like, you know, the, the moment doesn't define the man, it's the man that defines the moment. So I think it might have come from you, actually. I think it was in the first journal in that one. So in that one there, it's like, well, is that moment gonna define me from where I'm going? Right? I'm not gonna let that fucking stop me. No, I'm not. Like, I'm gonna take ownership, I'm gonna get better, I'm gonna double down. I'm gonna come the best fucking person I can be to give myself the best opportunity to then go forth and make that happen. Right? So you've seen that. I've seen it through there. Eric, everyone else, it was just like, yep, let's just keep going. Keep doubling down on what you're doing and yeah, that desire for more like acceptance. Taking ownership of. Yeah, okay. What could I have done about it personally? You know what I mean? Not looking for blame because that's that egoic self where it's like, oh, it's Sally's fault for this and John's fault. No, fuck that. Just take some ownership on what you can do. Control you can control, and then you'll get the results 100% of the time. So yeah, it went through there and then obviously started through the original squad leaders, right, which was great. So a couple of great men through Eric's Titans leadership there. We went through 29 laws of leadership, which was great. Guys like Jimmy, Sean Lee, a few of the few of the originals there that are still, still leading the charge now in that front, which is great. And you know, I wanted more, I wanted to be involved in it and I was still. I wouldn't say upsets are on the. I'd say there was still a burning desire because I didn't achieve what I wanted to. Right. In that capacity. Right. We talk about timelines and things. Had I've gone for what I'm doing now, then why would have worked? Who knows, right. But the timeline was right. When the opportunity came, I was ready and I was ready to take it on full hog. And then, yeah, finished my. My last mass gig and then I was here and as we were joking about it the other day, where it's like, you know, I had like one call to these things, I'm doing things and I was actually recording myself, you know, beforehand making sure how do I sound these things. And again, it's like overthinking it too much and just going back to, hey, be yourself, show yourself and it'll work out. So. And it did. It's been a phenomenal journey from then and all the men that have come through and it's been such a honor and a great opportunity to do so. And through like lived experience we talk about all the time. It's massive, right? And yes, like we touched on. I'm not 50, I'm not this. I don't have whatever it may be. But again, it's like through what I've gone through, through what I've learned, through what I've learned through others can always pass that forward. And I was just, yeah, all guns blazing at the start and it hasn't stopped, mate. And it won't stop. It's just the trajectory keeps going. So stoked to be able to have the guys in there. And it's something that they might not know the impact they have on me too right. And I'm sure you feel it too. We'll have these events like our one coming up in Brisbane State events can be awesome, right? So we'll have that. There'll be guys there interacting and then we get so much too. Right. And it's like always sharing the values and so forth and those moments there that lead us forward. So. So it's quite the honor, mate. And it's something that I don't take lightly and I love it. And as Eric would say, he always stuffs it with his accent. But heavy is the head that wears the crown and not for the faint of heart, the fainted of the hearted. But yes, it is. It's a big. Sorry, Eric, I had to get that one in there, mate. But yeah, it's a big responsibility. Right? And it is that too. It's like I've got a lot of my shoulders I've got to show up. So that's why I have to be like the product of the pipe, right? Like, I don't get here and then go, oh, I don't do 21 day challenge. I don't. Like, I got back from holidays, I just cracked straight into it and I fail it because my back's fucked. So my static is playing up and I can't. I've been told no exercising. Yes, I can walk for 20 minutes. But again, it's like, does it stop me from the other things I'm gonna do on there? Does it stop me writing a post it note or spending time? No, it doesn't. It's like, just keep pushing forward. You have to be seeking more. You have to be that and keep going and growing through there. So it's something that you just don't stop. And for me, I don't stop. I just want to keep. Keep learning more. And always that. That student for life. Always the one that's like, okay, how can I learn more? How can I assist more? What did I learn personally from this situation? And I think where, as you know, in life, we always have ups and downs, right? And so what were the learnings out of it for me? What can I do to get better at what I've done there? How can I assist more? And then, you know, riding the highs and the lows, the wins, the ups and downs, and it just makes it such a. Such an enjoyable journey.

Yes, you got Eric. Good, man. Look, it's. It's, you know, and mate, your. Your change and your progress has been exceptional. And that's, that's the thing. It's rate of improvement, man. Rate of improvement. How much can. How much can I give with the time that I have left? These little one liners, just drive. Real urgency, Harding. And you're a real shining star for that. Hey, Ed flies all the way out from Sydney up to Townsville just to be mentored by you in person. Every week. Week. Every week. It's the fibers here to come in and just drop these one liners to head and it'll be looking for blood. But no, it's.

It's.

It's true, man. Like, you're a real powerhouse inside the team. Any guys want to trip up Eric, our powerful German, you just need to say HPF has a library of marriage support that is the vehicle for continuity in life. If you get him to say four or five of those words, Vehicle, continuity, vehicle, marriage, continuity, and hardy mate. This is a. This is. We gotta. We gotta straighten this up.

Sorry, sorry. Yes. Yeah, sorry, sorry. I shouldn't have dropped that. But the other one's earpiece, he gets that one pretty well too, so I

won't do it in person. He's getting bigger than me. He's already bigger than me, but he's. We're at the gym yesterday with an off site with. With our New South Wales coaches, and the boy's getting big. He's lifting some solid weights. Yeah. Tough journey, though, man. Not. Not an easy role. Not an easy role, you know, helping. Helping men and being part of their life and trying to be invested, but respectfully detached so that it's like, you know, and I've used a few different analogies, but one's like. Like Harding, man, the way you're working, you're on a Jet Ski, mate. So you've got guys and it's like, hey, you know, you're on a boat right now and the boat's sinking. I'm going to show you how to fix that boat. But I can't. The Jet Ski's still running. I can't jump out of my boat into yours. Or, you know, you're trying to. You can't save people, is my point. So it's a delicate thing of being so emotionally invested and involved. This man's life, his relationship with his kids, with his wife, what. What his path could look like for the next 40 years. It's hard work, man. It's heavy stuff. It's not a.

It's.

And hey, it could be Mark McNane, Olympian, who just wants to drive more success in family, self and service. Yeah, awesome, man. But still, it's challenging that. It's being emotionally invested in what's next. Like you said with Dan Xeri and some of WA boys who are crushing that you serve that. It's not even, I'm in a pit, It's. I want more. And. But how do you challenge that and drive that? And so it's a, you know, we're not robots, man. What's been the hardest thing for you, mate? Like with. With coaching and I guess things you've learned from the guys and it's. It's been, hey, it was tough for me, mate. It's helped me develop to who I am now. But, yeah, it's over 10,000 consults, but it's like, yeah, man, it's a. It's a. It's a tough game. Like. Like, we're not, like, fellas, we're not here. But also, to be fair, you guys need to understand HPF isn't a fucking course. I can't stand when people reference it as that. But it's also not one to one coaching. Like you've got a one to one life success manager. So they're like your project manager for life. Absolutely. But they're here to facilitate and drive what's most valuable for you. The events that we run, the different experts that we bring in. Yes, the modules and courses, but more so the resources and how to apply them and when you know and, and yes, the squad leaders and support of the Trib meetups, not just HPF events and catch ups and retreats and, and the, the coaches communication and navigating what you need. And so it's, it's also. But, but you are, you are the core. Like you're the keystone to it without a doubt. Because you're facilitating all of that for them. So it is, it is, it is. It's a tough role, man. It's not. And we've had heaps of guys reach out and they either want to be a one to one specialist. Look at all these certificates that I've got. Yeah, awesome men. So what, you're going to work with 10 people? People? Or they want to be the one to many. Hey, just get me on stage like a BMW presentation and let me go and just talk to you know, 300 people and, and they'll be right. They'll transform their life with one inspiring speech that references 30 different quotes from 50 people that are dead.

Not.

Sorry. 30 different quotes from those same 30 people that have died 40 years ago that I don't even know. You're in the dirt, man. Like you're jumping in the garden bed with your knees dirty, with your hands digging up, planting seeds, soil moving, moving little, little plants that have started to sprout, splitting off. And it's, it's, it's, it's, it's not a light thing what you guys do. How's it been for you, man? What have been some of the toughest things. And I think one of the toughest things for me is when I've gone all in to help a man and he's not pulled away from hbf but just, just, just tanked on himself. That, that, that, that's been sad, man. I still remember those faces. That's a, that's hard. But you know, life. Yeah. What's been, what's been what, what's been some of the toughest things for you, man? And some of the greatest lessons as well over the journey of being a Leader in HPF now and driving the lives of these men.

Yeah, I think what you touched on before is that it's like the intent without attachment. It's like, I'm going to intend to give this man the fucking best start all these things. Everything's at his, at his fingertips, right? He still has to take the steps, still has to do it for himself, right? And then if it doesn't happen, that's where it's. That that's the hardest part is like. And as we talk about being a leader, seeing more and before you're like, hey man, your situation, I've seen fucking 10 times. Just do these things, get started. And then like you said that they are the hardest when it's like it starts to go. And then it's like, and stop giving up on, on, on me. And again, gotta not take it personally. And HPF and so forth. It's like, fuck man, like, how are you gonna go back and now tell your kids that you had an opportunity and you fucked it up? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I'm sorry to be rude and blunt there, but it is that. It's like, mate, like, you step up, let's go. Like, it's all here for you. And that's where I think that's the hardest part too. When you. And that was a big learning too, right? Emotionally investing in that 100% but also not taking it personally and all the ownership of. I'm not the savior, right? Yes, I'm the Sherpa, I'll help you get up there. But I'm not the one that's like you said, the Jet Ski, these things, if I just pull you on the Jet Ski, you learn fuck all. It doesn't matter, right? It's something where you have to go through it yourself. But having that, that emotional buy in is super hard because it is, it's real. Like this is life we're talking about. This is like generational impact and kids and so forth. And sometimes that's the hardest thing to disassociate from is that it's like, well, I have to personally do this for this man and so forth and so. Well I do. But also at what cost? Because by way of it, I think of it this way too, right? If you've got an apprentice and you've had him for four years and all you've got him do is roll up leads because you don't trust him to do any work, well, what good is he going to be as a tradesman when he's four years up right so you've got to go through yourself but it's, you've got to take ownership as far as I'm going to do all I can to provide you the platform and go through here and give you everything you need. Like you said there like our events that we run, the members ones getting them with the squad leaders, connecting with local guys, having catch ups, doing the work it's not easy. It's hard right and that's why most people don't do it because it's very easy to stay the same and very easy to, to like you said there like watch someone on stage and here's some quotes from a book and I feel great for 24 hours and then it's just gone again. So that'd be the hardest part is the emotional intensity of the role up and down and you know I think hats off to the, to the men that keep sticking it out and keep going through especially when it's hard it's so easy to get up like yourself out right so you know you've got young Florence there sleeping like crap. It's like well if you had a great sleep things are going well. Of course it's easy to go to the gym in the morning and train like it's a no brainer right if things aren't going well it's really fucking hard. So it's like in those moments when you come in it is hard but through those actions where you'll get the results and a lot of men they do, they keep pushing through but like you say it's a small, very small percentage that just can't quite get off the mark or see or get to a point and then now and the three feet from gold, right you're so close just keep going like that that lag measure is coming but they just can't see it and that's something where yeah personally it's you try and detach and not take it on in that way but still very difficult right? It's, it's yeah but then, then there's the highs right so it just come to mind then where Shane in, in Western Australia you know had a, a very tumultuous relationship with his son now he runs up to him, hugs him, wants to be with him, loves their, their dad like that that there alone is like poof that outweighs fucking everything, you know what I mean? So those ones there, there that they like and we talk about ride the highs and the lows but don't be consumed by that either, because that's where you get the misconception of riding too high and then you get a false sense of reality, right? Or you ride too low and you're missing out on what's to come. But yeah, been some tough moments, mate. No doubt. Like, you know, I think through all the different walks of life that the men come in, there is some really hard, heavy moments, you know, to navigate. And it's more just going through to like acknowledging that's there now. But what can we do about it today? What can we start to implement? How can we get you just that? If your cap's at 15%, how do we get to 20% by next week? What's that like? Like just starting small through there and the rewards that come through and when the men do actually go through, go all in. And again, like we said, the start different timelines, people are in completely different worlds. Like, you know, some men come in and things are okay and it's like, yeah, well you've got more to lose, so don't get complacent, right? And some guys come in, they've lost everything. It's like, well, well, now we're starting from scratch. Let's go this time to build. So same, same outcomes, it's just a different timeline. But yeah, it's the highs and lows emotionally, as you know, Alex can be quite tough, but the rewards are well worth it.

Al, when you look at the impact and you're spot on there too, man, it's just like, that's respectfully to members listening. It's not that we're not investors, like, man, we want you to fucking crush, but you gotta be on the level level, so, so when we do catch ups, like, hey, oh mate, this is how much my life's changed. And I've done this and done that and so on and so forth and it's incredible. Go to an event in person. Some members I haven't met in person yet, we've got a lot, Lots I have, but yeah, some I haven't. But then when we meet for the first time, they're just sharing their story with me, everything. And I'm just, just there smiling. I'm like, it's wonderful, man, that's so awesome. That's all yours. That all that victory is yours. No matter how personalized I've been involved in their journey or how much I've simply been the fucking ad that they looked at and clicked a button on. But then on the flip side it's like, hey, that's wonderful. That's awesome. Okay, let's keep going on the flip side. They're really struggling. Hey man, that fuck. That struggle is real, man. Would you like me to help you with that? Well, let's fucking go. You know, it's that, but the impact is that you is, is what I love attaching to as well, Harding, because I think there's, there's merit to that. Otherwise what is the point? Like we are emotionally invested. Like, it's, it's, you know, facts and feelings are intertwined. They, they really are. So it's a, it's a delicate balance, man, between like looking up on my vision board here and seeing all these transformations and these men and messages and going, wow, that's, that's incredible. But you're not, not for one second, man, have I ever sat back looking at that going, oh man, I'm so amazing. I've done so. Never, bro. Like never. It's just stupid. And, and not because it's ego driven, but because that becomes the trap. I'm taking ownership over their life. That's, that's a dangerous thing, man. Both ways, both ways. Because you can't, you know, in for a penny for a pound. You cannot. And it's not even a values thing on hypocrisy. It's just a neural pathway that's non discriminatory between good or bad. That it is impossible to attach my identity to all of the successes of the men and claim that as my own in hpf, yet dismiss all of the failures of men, regardless of where they've been. I've reached out, I had a call, I joined, you know, I've done a 180. Like it happens, mate. Like it's. We, we don't have a hundred percent success rate. Oh, sorry, we do. For the men who follow through on the program. Absolutely, mate. You can't fucking not. But that's where it's like, we'll come the nine and you just come 10. Like you're all in as a member is 10%. Because we've got it all there for you. We've laid it all out for you. But yeah, but sometimes that 10%'s 8, sometimes it's 3, sometimes it's 3, then goes back up to 10, then down to 5, then back up to 10. Hey, that's sweet. I'm not challenging men's commitment or saying men fall down and it's their fault or failure. I'm saying fellas, in life, which is true for your relationship with your wife, with your kids, don't own their life. That's theirs. The good, the bad and the ugly. But it's. It's hard, isn't it, bro? Because we're in such a beautiful space where we want to. Fellas, we want to fill a stadium. Stadium of lives, right? Nearly 10,000 impacted in eight years. We want to get that number again in half the time. If we. When we directly, not half a million podcast downloads, like Direct Connection products, services, membership, like 20,000 men over the next four years, by the end of the decade, with the average family of four. 4.2 or wherever it is, might be 4.4. That's. That's ANZ stadium full. That's Origin fully packed out. That. That's crazy, man. That's HPF has impacted an entire full stadium. Imagine that. Visualize that. A stadium of families. That's. That's. That's. That's crazy. That's incredible. What a gift to be part of. But not mine. Not mine to own. But it's delicate because we're so. We're so invested. So invested. How would you sum up the culture, Harding? So we talk about culture and. And the brotherhood and hpf, and we obviously have our. Our. Our inner circle, so to speak, or, you know, the organizations or the team team, the coaches and whatnot. But, yeah, well, if you were to describe to someone what the culture of HPF is, who had no idea at all. We have that a lot. Men and women reach out, they'll see someone with a shirt and, oh, what's high performance, Father? Yeah, how would you describe it, man? How would you describe the culture and the men and what we have going on here?

It's. I'd say genuine. It's like everybody in here is here for the right reasons. It's nothing. Like, there's no bullshit, there's no facades. It's just. Just a genuine place for men to come together. And like you said, different facets, too, right? Whether it's us and leadership team, whether it's the whole tribe, the community, whatever it may be, state troops, whatever it is right for us, though, it is genuine. Like, what you see is what you fucking get. And that's so hard in today's world. And that's why it stands out so much, too right. It's like you can see whatever you want online, but it's not what you get, you know, in here, what you see is what you get. Get the men. It's. It's. It's phenomenal, mate. Like, I. It's funny when. When I. When I onboard A new guy. And I'm like, hey, make sure jump on here. Hashtag rise to win. Let's go. I want to see that consistency, you know? And then, oh, what is it? You know? And then I go through. I'm like, mate, when I look through here, it lights me up. It's like, here's so and so in Geraldton. Here's so and so in act. He's so, like declaring, getting up. And that's genuine, right? That's guys that are genuine about change, wanting more, you know, not settling and being in that. So, so genuine. The brotherhood is just like, it is that. It's genuine. It's contagious. It's just like seeking more constantly. It's something that's just. It's hard. It's hard to put into words, really. Like, it's something where if you were to try and explain it to. And I get it too. It's funny when you say about the shirts too, because I was actually at the hospital with Lex when we were on the Gold coast, and I said, oh, where do I get one of them shirts? Like, yeah, there's this old phone, this old lady. I said, oh, you gotta earn one, you know, like, it's. Can't just get one, you know what I mean? Had a little chat, you know, around that and even that there. Trying to explain, like, oh, and everyone has a perception of what it might be, you know, like, and that's their. Their reality, right? But trying to explain that you've got over 500 men in here from all walks of life on a genuine path to success. No matter what way they're walking, whether they're like on their own, rebuilding with their wife, with their new partner, just them and the kids, whatever it may be, everyone's in there, everyone's got each other's back and it's just. It's infectious, right? And like you said there, with the generational impact, the legacy, these things, like, you know, impacting families and then their kids and so forth, it's like, wow, that's amazing. Like, when you sit back and think about it, that's. That's phenomenal and that's genuine. You know what I mean? And that's what it is inside of here. It is just a genuine cohort of top to bottom, right? What you see is what you get. It's from all the way from yourself, all the way down to myself, the members, anyone else in between. It's just. This is what you get. It's genuine, it's real, it's Just a winning culture, right? And that's what starts with being. I think you look at any great team and it's like, what's the one thing they've all got in common, right? They're all open with each other, they're honest, they've got respect, they've got these good values and morals and so forth. And everyone's fucking bought into a genuine, genuine team.

The genuine nature. It's, it's, it's so funny you mentioned that because it's obviously the, the trap we run is being desensitized because we're just exposed to it all the time. But one thing I do remember, men saying, hey, I love this place. It's just free of judgment. I'm like, well, it. Of course it is, mate. Like, there's no. With you. But. But that's, that was a natural. Not assumption, but that's just a natural law of what we stand for. So when you stand for something, guys, you'll, you'll naturally, that means you stand. If you stand for something, like with our values and our tenets, then you stand against things that would attack, threaten, all that sort of stuff. So it's like, why would we allow people in here that would judge other. So that's the risk we run in being desensitized to that exposure. But you're right. You see these hundreds, hundreds every day rise to wins. That's like our. For those who may not know, that's like just our war cry and check in, into our community in. And it's like these, these are real human beings. This is a man, you know, this is a man down in, like you said, act. Or up in Northern Territory, down in Tasmania or South Australia, you know, Hutto's Hill, checking in. That's crazy, man. Like, it's like all these men are stepping up and declaring their commitments for the day and they're going to go crush it. It's just, it's. It's so powerful. So powerful. Very, very, very inspiring. Which has been, again, selfishly, very comforting for me in a way where I'm in a period or multiple seasons of building my family. You know, they're all young. Nine, soon to be seven, five and 13 weeks. Fourteen weeks. Don't tell Florence that I made a mistake on her age. She'll get upset. Fuck, she already gets cranky, man. Man, it's crazy. Quinn's like, she's going through a regression. I'm like, again, again. Isn't that, isn't that just called being a woman? What's I'm Jake. If there's females that listen to this, like, I love women and children. I don't care what color you dye your hair. That's, it's, it's all good. I'm, I just don't like people attacking the family nucleus. Obviously, the. Regardless of who you are, the, the biggest, the biggest thing for me, man, is like, I've got this brotherhood would. And I say this respectfully, I do have a core group of mates for life, so to speak, even if I don't see them for years. But it's like, I don't need friends right now. Like, I don't like the social cup. There's nothing there to feel Harding. I get to check in and catch up on. I don't know the exact number. Maybe 550 or something. But yeah, lots of men in a community that are all aligned, all ambitious, pursuing the same thing in their own right. Hungry for more. Some are winning, some are losing, some are in between. Here's the game.

Welcome.

Welcome to the fucking war. Let's go. All right, battlefield, weapons out. Let's rip in. You know, it ain't smooth sailing for me or anyone else in this world. Okay. Who you are, are you winning today, losing today? Somewhere in between. Let's shift, let's shift. Let's keep going. That's so inspiring, man. So inspiring. What. I guess on that, mate, you know, like, who, who do you think is the best coach out of Eric and Ed? We bring the paddle back on, it'll be a four hour session just between you and Ed. Now. What, what, what do you see in the future, mate? We're building some powerful stuff. Got a pretty tight crew and coaching team as well, which we've added another one too, so that's exciting. I'll. I'll introduce him soon. Building the team, building the tribe. We've got a huge event in Brizzy coming up that's going to be epic. Then we've got events all over. But what do you say, man? Like, you're invested in hpf. You must be. You've, you know, if you've given up some things of your life, trade and other expertise, you know, definitely more money. But then you're with your family every single day. Like, there's always a price to pay, right? But you've, you're giving your life to this mission as well, man, and the mission is serving you back, of course. But you're giving your life to this mission. So you know what? I guess in a nutshell, what does the mission of HPF and what we want to achieve, filling a stadium. And so like, what does that mean to you on a personal level? And what do you see over the next 12, 24, 36 months with this journey?

I think what I see is just an infinite growth, right? So it's like where we are now and like you say, super tight knit team. We're in an awesome position with like this year for events and so forth and the members and everything, you know what I mean? And I love what you touched on the Phil. That's what I say to guys too. It's a fuck with free zone, no dickhead policy, these things. Like it is that. So there's a genuine like everyone's here in this trajectory and it's crazy to think what's to come, right? I think on the up it is massive. It's going to be huge. Next 12, 18, 24 months is huge. And not like we do like future cast. It's like, okay, it's Christmas 2027, where are we at? What have we achieved? It's like phenomenal to think of what's to come. Gonna be massive, gonna be a big push. And I think that that's what drives me too, right? It's like, how many people could we help? You know what I mean? How many families could we help? How many children don't even know it yet that they'll fucking reap the benefits, right? It's like they're out there now suffering and struggling. Like you said, the family, these things. Someone might be listening to this going, fuck, that's me, I doing this. It's like, we'll fucking change it, you know, like again, I'm not here to say here's the sheep sign up, but it's like me like that there. It's like when you have those moments and that's where we're doing now, driving that more driving the culture, the community, the brotherhood. It's going to be going to be huge, this next, next lot. And then for them to get the help too, right? As far as. And again, we only know what we know, right? So if I, if I go back 10 years ago, far out. I wish I knew what I knew now, what I knew then, but I don't. And I can't, I can't change that. So why would I use my rear vision mirror as a fucking windscreen? I'm not going. It's like I'm just gonna keep looking forward, not gonna look back. And again, acknowledging past moments, they make us who we are. But it doesn't define me right now. It's like I'm keep pushing forward. So in that it's like the legacy that's to come from this too. And it's needed like men need this. Fathers need to be fucking strong, right? And it's not about being 120 kilos and voided up with a baseball bat. It's like, no, no, I can actually provide value for my family, for my wife, emotional stability throughout the home. My kids aren't scared of me. They love coming up and seeing dad and I'm the pillar of strength here. Provide in ways that, you know, through work, business, whatever it may be, and have those relationships. I think it's that alone from the base now, it's huge. And that's funny, I say base. It's like eight years, right, to get to this point for yourself. And it's like it's probably not the base, right, but it is in a sense of where we're at right now to the trajectory is going to be massive, going to be huge. And I think for me that just, I'm just so driven, so driven by it because it's like always I even look to like, you know, coaching the kids footy team again this year. So under 11s, my daughter's rugby league team. Even in that, it's like that's provided by what I do here. Had I be, you know, in the same thing, I'd never have that opportunity to do that for my daughter and have that there and build her confidence, right? So I did the young fells last year. This year it's, it's hers, right? So it's like those are moments where in infecting her in, in that way. As far as he's a, he's a great father role model. Do I get it right? 100% time? No. We all, we all have ups and downs and mistakes and, and these things that we're always learning and growing, right? So that's something to take on board too, but in that it's like those moments wouldn't exist, right? So that's what drives me. I want other men to have those fucking moments that matter, that lead into that too. Could be one dadventure a month with your son, go and fish something that's going to instill the memory in him and make him change and have that too. So that for me, I mean a bit of a roundabout way, but it's like the trajectory is up, it is going to be absolutely massive. I can just see nothing but infinite growth potential through that and it's just through the desire of everyone wanting more. Like I touched on the start, everyone just wants that next step. But are you willing to take it? Are you going to stay the same? Is that where you are on that ledger? Right? It's something powerful. But yeah, for me it drives that too. And like you say, yeah, it's always give and take, right? Like I touched on that. You come in the same way, you leave the same way. What's good in me earning 200 grand a year plus being away for fucking, you know, four, five, six plus months at a time, you know, and then when I am home it's, sorry, only being home for three, four months at a time. And then when I'm home it's shit and I have nothing. You know what I mean? Like what's that? What sort of legacy is that, you know? So I think there's always a cost, right? But then you look at the flip side of that too. Where other opportunities wouldn't happen, like this here, like going to the markets on a Sunday with my kids and being super present, involved and watching them grow and having those moments. So there's always a cost, right? But it's at what, when are you willing to make that sacrifice or that change and actually step up?

That's crazy, isn't it? How could you even put a be said not to make you guys feel bad, like, you know, I don't live in my kids pockets, but it's like how could you put a price on that? Like my son's 5 and between 5 and 15, I just grinded for 10 years to make more money. But it's like that's crazy. I can't. The whole, you don't know what it's got, what you got till it's gone, all of that, but it's, yeah, crazy, man. Crazy. I don't know how much this lands when I say this because I've said it before, but man, you're literally creating something from nothing. Like when we talk about this, like going to the markets, you're creating something from nothing. Does Casey go? Does she take the kids? Is it fucking worth it? Because you're away? I got four kids in the markets, it's overcast, could rain now, we'll just miss it. Okay? Whether that exists or not, not you being there, creating that opportunity, it's crazy, man, Creating something from nothing. I, I'll probably save it for an hour's insights, but because the story is funny and how I landed with this, but I was just with the bloke at the gym. But you know, it's, you really need to liken because you talk about the impact. You really need to liken something. You're pursuing men to, to the, the growth and development of a human. So newborn and maybe it sticks because it's easy for me with Florence at the moment. You got a newborn? Okay, well look, they're born, they open their eyes, they, they feed and, and scream and sleep and. But between 0 and 1 it's a lot of changes. They can stand, some can walk. Most sort of camper there, thereabouts, they can crawl, they can speak a couple of words, they're eating food. So that's a huge change. But, but still it's like yeah, you're wobbly, you're eating some foods, you can speak a couple of words. So it's great but it's not, it's huge change from being born, but it's not that much one to two man, like two year olds. Holy moly. You know teenagers that exist for a reason. Savage, putting sentences together, very manipulative, smart figuring things out. They've got their personality. Yeah. They're sprinting whether they fall or stay upright into everything and jumping. And so I look at HPF and it's like, and it's not exactly the same but like yeah, an eight year old like well Stella's nine but we're about to enter our ninth season in a few months. But yeah, a nine year old like she's, she's doing a lot man. She's doing aerials which is like this flip. She can do it on the spot. So on one leg, pivot and flip and land on the other leg like it's like crazy. Incredibly intelligent, smart, can cook, you know, clean, does all different sports. It's like wow. So that's where for you men, not even just hpf because it'll actually be exciting. A bittersweet on, on, on my DeathBed, hopefully in 40 years time because it's like HPF's just warm, warming up. That or the world will be destroyed. I'm not sure we'll see what happens but yes, but you know it's, it's crazy man to see how, how much can happen. So for human pursuing something thing. That's why we have like the thousand day journey with hpf. Like join, don't join, stay for a year, stay for 10. We've got some of our dudes coming up to 3,000 days. That's pretty awesome. But you know like it's, it's looking at life and going, what's something I'm willing to invest in and keep going. And growing with that can yield the fruit. Both daily in the pursuit of that fruit, bringing joy and happiness and fulfillment and the people that around me. And also yes, in the attainment moment. It was a pursuit worthwhile because it was uncommon, but I fucking did it and I made it happen. You need both. It's not just, hey, be happy now and enjoy the journey, enjoy growing. It's use that growth, make it count, try and achieve some shit hiding awesome episode, man. Conscious that if I ask you too many more questions, we'll go into the nighttime. But sorry, I've got Ed after this, so my whole day is gone. I've got six hours of podcasting, but no, look, mate, would love to get final thoughts. Been an epic episode, man. Thank you for jumping on some incredible wisdom and some one liners, mate. That brings back memories of things that I remember hearing or saying and I've forgotten. So thank you, man. It's quite nostalgic to hear some of your wisdom. Be like, ah, that's right. Yeah, that's awesome man, that's great. So good, man, man, so blessed to have you on the team, bro. Final thoughts tips members, non members, doesn't really matter, but just, yeah, any final thoughts, mate, or something you want to share as we wrap this up? Hope you guys have enjoyed it. It's been epic, man. I certainly have. I've got plenty of notes here as always that I convert into more lessons. But yeah, man, would love a final wrap up from yourself.

Yeah, I think and what you touched on there, it's like member, non member, join us or don't. Just, just take action. Just do something, you know, don't, don't stay in that. If you are listening to this and you're like, go, ah, I resonate well, I am in that rut, so to speak. It's like, just take some action. Choose to take that step, you know, yes, it's uncomfortable, but what's the difference, right? Fear or regret? What one do you want? Fear at the time that you've got to tell your mates you joined a gym and you're starting to get better and you're to cop some shit or the regret of, you know, you've got a fucking heart disease because you're overweight in 10 years time. Like, what is that with the kids too? You have to really upfront and honest with yourself. Take ownership by all means. Like definitely accept where you are and then take that ownership as far as like, what can I do about it? What actions can I start to implement today? And it's not just for you. Like, it's selfish if it's just for you, right? In that sense, as far as I says. But it's bigger than that. It's the family, it's your kids, like, that's so, so big, right? So, yes, I want to be 100 and it's for me, 100%. But also there's a byproduct. There's always a byproduct for the kids or the founding nucleus, the wife and so forth. It is that. So. So by you choosing to stay the same, you're not changing anything and you're choosing that same path that you're going down. And then you will have regret. Fucking without a doubt, 100%. Like, if I'm. If I was sitting here and say, you know, say, not even here, mate, but say in, you know, 15 years time, it's like, right, o. The kids are all moved out. They're all. Now I think that'll work out. Kane's eight now. So, yeah, 15 years. Yeah. Wow, that'd be, you know, and if I was doing the same thing, my regret meter would be off the fucking chart. You know what I mean? Mean, especially with a, with a slight vision of what could have happened, right? So I think just on that, just, just take some action. Except where you are, take some ownership. Start small steps, you know, small, little, little actions to, to help you, your family, so forth, and just. You only get one shot. Like, if, if, if nothing else, just go for a walk through a graveyard, have a look and be like, wow, this is real. Like, is what I'm doing actually serving me and my family? If it's not, fuck it off. Start living that life. Start going that way again. Member, non member, join or don't. It's, you know, it's something that we're always here, right? But again, it's like, just for yourself and for your kids and for your legacy and generational change and these things. Like, be the one. Stand up, be the one that's going to change, right? Don't just be the one that's going to. Oh, I could have done this and I should have didn't. It's like, well, do it, you know. Yes, it's hard. It's not easy. It's not easy where I've got to now, far out, you know, like, it's. And days are different. Like, as. You know, it's hard. Four kids, lots going on, on. But just Taking action. Right. Sticking to true to who you are. And. And yeah, just take some action and start moving the feet in the right direction. Yes.

And always, mate, a brilliant practice run. I'll hit record now and we'll rip into it.

Yes. All right, that's. What's it now, 6pm at night. All right, cool. We'll go for.

Was the. Couldn't have said it better myself, man. Like, acknowledge, like being scared, that sense fear. Like acknowledge. Acknowledge the fear and face the fear, but just don't ever decide out of it. Don't ever decide out of fear. There's nothing wrong with being afraid or experiencing that. And don't trouble your coat it for anything else. It's like, nah, it's not fear.

It's.

It's time poor or some other like that. Don't worry, man. We all experience it like this. No one's. No one's impenetrable. Acknowledge it. Sure. Face it. Yes. But decide with it from it.

No, no, no.

Don't ever decide out of it. Like, decide from the core being from your core being. Like, fellas, make decisions from the core being of what you desire in this life and who you want to be remembered by. Like, who. Who do I want to be remembered as in this life? When I'm looking over and. And. And I'm coming to the end, the days are numbered.

Who do I want to be remembered by?

What will my life mean? That's. That's the power, man. That's what drives decisions. Not fear in the fucking moment.

Moment.

Fear is a beautiful, beautiful collision at that fork that says, hey, man, you've arrived. Because you know that there's something that can change if you have. No, if you don't experience any of that. I'll call it whatever you want. If you do butterflies, other things, or if you don't experience that, then you could be running the risk of being completely numb and void to what is possible in life. That's. That's. That's tough because I look for it, I go hunting for it. The discomfort's beautiful thing. I need that. Like, it's not. It's not a drug, but I. I need that continue to continue to stretch and grow and never be complacent. And I know the gift that it holds because it's just been time and time again the one common thread in my life. Thanks, Harding. Appreciate you, bro. What a session, man. It's been awesome. Hope you guys really enjoyed it. But thank you, man, for giving the time too. And. And it's. Wow. Very inspiring, mate. Just keep going and growing, bro. You know, we never stop. But thanks for giving your time too, man.

Really appreciate it. Yes, thank you. Al. Let's. Let's not wait two years for the next one, mate. Let's. Let's bring that one forward for sure. But no, it's been phenomenal. It's been awesome. Thank you again, brother.

Bloody earth. Yes, annual. Annual sessions would be awesome. So they would. But, like, we sold my punchline. Usually what I say above all else, boys, take action. Do something. Rip in Harding's already said it, man. Fucking action. Go. Right now, what's the one thing?

Thing?

Thought, feeling, belief system, perspective on something, skill set, one step, one foot front of the other and go.

Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you, and then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got

a lot of value out of this.

And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember. And make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care. Have an amazing day, night, weekday weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon.

Cheers.