288. The Code of the Complete Man: Tenets That Build Legacy

Hey, just quickly, if you're a father who really aligns with our message, or potentially his wife, because we have a lot of fathers' wives now listening to this— phenomenal, love it, share it. There are people out there who are in pain. There are people out there hurting that you may intuitively know in your gut, in your instinct, yet you haven't shown them that there is a possibility, an opportunity that they can create change through creating the right perceptions and the right influence with something like HPF. Share the podcast, give it out to someone who you know will appreciate it, and they can listen to it in their own time and take the steps they need to moving forward. Thank you again for spreading the love. Much respect. I've been, uh, been looking forward, looking forward to this one, men. The Code of the Complete Man: Tenets That Build Legacy. This is going to be one of the hardest hitting episodes that I truly believe we've ever done, or I've done as a solo. The ones with the members coming on and the panels have been just exceptional. Hope you guys have drawn a lot of inspiration from just the shares of other other men. We're all, we're all doing it. Real life, we're all, we're all doing it. This one, this one's really close to my heart because I also call them the, the HPF tenets. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's not about HPF or HPF owning it. Like, these are the tenets that collectively, uh, you know, as a caretaker, of course I've engineered and pulled together to deliver to you today, and I live, but collectively have been chosen and presented from all of the men over the years, mentors, coaches, all of the people who have created change in life, in leaderships, and, and in that leadership building, building their legacy. So that's impact that, that exceeds their own life here on Earth while they're alive. So please understand, when I go through these tenets, it's, it's not They're not just fucking values, mate. Like, that pisses me off. And I used to be one of them. Don't worry about that. But yeah, most values and that sort of stuff, it's like they're nouns, they're naming words, you know, teamwork, respect, communication. It's like, nah, it's, these are powerful, man. Like there are 3 different tiers and they're all verbs. Doing action-based tenets, you know, so it's not, it's not a value per se. Values are laced into this, you know, with integrity and all that sort of stuff. But, but this is not something that I have created. I didn't create the words. It has been decades in collating. And look, there's 15, maybe there's 3, but with the 15, it's complete. Decades in collating a complete code across these 15 tenets where— I know it's perfect, right? You pursue upholding them each and every day as much as you can, you will have an unbelievable life. You'll have the most phenomenal life that you couldn't even imagine possible. I'm telling you, man, like, fuck, I'm living it. And then so are all the men. But yes, hard, hard to execute, hard to maintain, you know. So no one's perfect. I look at these 15 tenets and it's like, wow, are there times where I've slipped? I had a little pity party, even if for 3 minutes. Okay, cool. You know, is that, is that serving me? Is that taking ownership? Is that denying normal? Is that embracing it all? You know, is that student for life? They're just some of the tenets that we'll go through, you know. And the answer is no. Okay, well, Al, fuck off the pity party and get back to work, mate. Working on life and this gift that you'll never get again. So, you know, at the risk of turning this into a 73-minute intro. You know, I think we just crack on into it, fellas. But I just wanted to preface that, like, this is, this is symbolic of, of the successes in life before you and how you can have success in life today and, and do it and do it well. You know, it's, it's tough, man. Most of the world's full of shit. So it's not even about people who scam and make money that are full of shit. Like, there are there are people who have created positive change in other people's lives, but they themselves are still full of shit. It's like crazy, you know. So it's, it's, um, it's a tough place out there in knowing who or what to trust and what to embody. And that's, that's, that's what I really love about HPF and how pure it is, you know. I mean, bare bones and all, I've shared the most horrific parts of my life, man, and, um, And that's what I love about these tenets, how, how true they are, how absolute they are in being your, your true north, being, being your compass to guide you towards the greatest life you can ever live. It's so hard too, man. Like, just quickly, like, I talk about greatest life you can ever live and be your greatest version. It's so hard because that stuff's just been— it's just been stained over the decades. With such a shit brush, commercialized. But, but there's truth in that, man, when it comes from HPF and I. It's like, yes, yes, live a great and phenomenal life, man. It, it's totally possible. It's being done. You can have it too, you know. You can have it for a long period of time. Nothing's ever, nothing's ever rainbows and smiles 24/7. I remember hearing this quote from this old man, super old. It was like a black and white short. Oh man, I hope I don't butcher what he say. The impediment to action is what brings the action forward. I was like, ah, it's so fucking true, isn't it? The obstacle is the way, that sort of stuff, right? The impediment to the action. It was like, okay, you got a fence that's blocking me? Cool, man, I'm gonna fucking jump it. Without the fence, you wouldn't jump though, right? So it's a powerful thing, this dichotomy of life as a man and the spirit that the man embodies and moving forward. Um, you know, but if you can have something that becomes your compass that you can pursue, it really does help you more often than not consistently execute at a higher level. And that's what leads to winning, funnily enough. You know, those who are the greatest leaders have failed the most and are the greatest students. That's all true. So these tenets let's dive into them. And, and, you know, like, it's something that, uh, I've wanted to do for, for a while now. I've been living with the structure of these tenets anyway. So we've lived these tenets. I'm sure you have too, you know, um, denying normal, embracing the struggle, you know, embracing it all as a tenant. So you guys have all lived these tenets, and that's the beautiful part of this. Every single one of you listening to this has lived at least one or many of these tenets at some stage in your life. I have now pulled it all together to go, well, all right, we have pulled it all together as unit to go, well, man, this is, this is how we can, you know, really pull everything together to conceptualize a path to victory, not just hit and miss without the reflection to go, oh wow, how did that work? Did that work? I just got lucky. Nah, man, that's, it's all, it's all patterns and frameworks. That's what life is, funnily enough. So let's dive on in, but I have been hesitant on doing this because it's like, it's such a big piece. It's so close to my heart and I don't know if we have enough time, but you know, I don't want to go too long and I just want to treat this as a beautiful opener to you, man, but give you clarity on them and what they mean. And what, because they can be interpreted differently too, right? But what they mean and the purpose they serve. So let's dive on into it. There are 3 sections. There's the above the line. These are like the above the line behaviors, like these tenets. It's above the line principles. Like it, It's a given, man. Like if you do not uphold all of these, or at least have a desire to pursue them, because like I said, no one ever nails it 100%, then you're not a great fit to be a coach or a leader or a team player with HPFN. As a member, you run the risk, but that's why members reach out, right? Because they want to become a more integral man too. But above the line is like, hey man, these are the fucking bare minimum. This is the non-negotiable. You must. Carry a deep desire to pursue these constantly every day. Then we have the spine, which is really around the mental attitude and approach. I like, I liken mentality to a combination of your mental attitude and approach, which is— sorry, your mentality being your mental attitude and approach, and then the attitude also has a combination of your emotional attachment to it. So the spine is, is really about your mental attitude and approaching yourself and towards others. And then the North Star is really— they really are the aspirational values, right? Those 5, the North Star, the aspirational, you know, keystones to, to life. So let's, let's dive on into it, and I'll share with you what they are and we'll go through them one by one. So with the 15 tenets, we have 6 above the line to start with. The first one, and it doesn't matter about the order of them, you know, the first one I'll go through is embrace it all. So the above the line tenets, embrace it all. Like, oh man, fuck me. Like life is, life is Crazy. It's, it's so tough. It's so tough. You know, we, we have a vision of the destination, but if we got shown the path and the steps to get there, we'd give up the destination. That's how hard it is most of the time. You would. Now, if you showed me everything that was required to have children, would I still have them? Yeah, of course. Like, that's, that's a, that's a deeper spiritual connection to creating life from— like, that is, that is absolute. So I'm not saying every decision in every destination, but yeah, man, embracing it all is so important. Why? Because, and you need to look at this too, guys, and invert it as well. Uh, and then the, so embracing it all is the, the inverted version of that. So if you were to invert it is be a fucking victim, right? So, so hopefully this will help give some clarity as well on, on these tenets. Embrace it all means you are embracing the struggles, man. I thank God for the fucking hardest moments in my life because that has been the gift that has forged me, forced me to look in the mirror, to become more, to rise up and do something about it. Like embracing the struggle. Now, I don't go out recklessly looking for trouble. That's fucking stupid, mate. Life will give you plenty of that already. I'm telling you, man, like, if you do not embrace it, you fall into becoming a victim very, very quickly, and you don't even know it. Why? Because we all have fucking stories. And guess what? All of those stories have truth. But there's a difference between being right and doing the right thing. So what, someone fucking cut you off? Like, you know, it's on the road. Yeah, you get road rage. And I don't want to say it cold-heartedly, you know, which is why I'm conscious, man. I don't want to rattle off 20 different examples. Okay, so what, your wife fucking left? So what, your kids told you they fucking hate you? So like, it's not about that. But what I'm saying is mentally, So fucking what, as in the bigger picture of life's going to punch you in the face. Cool. Next. It's just part of life, man. Can't have day without night. I remember I was at the work, man, I was at the lowest of the low. HPF was dying. It was 2023, man. We were fucked. It was so hard, man. It was crazy. Cause I lost my voice and I lost, mate, everything went out the window. You can't speak, can't do anything. I remember laying there on, in the shower. It was like, I don't know, somewhere between 1 and 3 AM. 6th time I've woken up. I'd wake up every 30 to 90 minutes with my throat just swelling up. Ventolin puffer would relieve it, it would relieve it. I'd get a bit of relief for, you know, an hour or two, and then it would swell up again and close up. Like, that's a— imagine waking up being choked. I feel like I was being choked to death. That was like my life for 2 years. Every fucking night, waking up like I'm getting choked. Man, the dreams— call them dreams— the nightmares I had, you could only believe. Yeah, you couldn't believe it, mate, you know. So I'm in the shower, completely collapsed, exhausted. Room's closed, everything's closed off, trying to get steam, trying to get something in, right? Get some steam in. And obviously hot air rises, but there was steam everywhere at that stage. It was like a steam room. So I just, I just sat down, shower's pouring on me, and it's hot, it's hot. I look over, my chest is just red, almost blistering. I had it just on hot, man. I needed so much that I'm just breathing in, breathing in. I laid down on my tummy, and then and I put my head on the side and there's that little pocket of air coming in and there's water. At that stage, the, the shower's just washing them, you know, it's pelting down on my face. I'm just laying there getting a bit of air in and just, just fucked. And I remember just lifting my head up a little bit and smiling. And look, I don't know who I was speaking to. Maybe it was the devil, adversity in general. It definitely wasn't speaking to life because it's part of life, but I was speaking to the adversities that I guess had formed up into a figure. A, a figure that I could challenge and overcome was, was why my thinking at the time anyway. Remember lifting my head up and going, is that all you got? I was so fucked, man. My body was shot, my relationships were shot, like I couldn't read bedtime stories, sing to my kids anymore, um, couldn't talk to Corinne, business was fucked. It was all, mate, it was so bad. And I looked up and smiled and said, is that all you got, motherfucker? Just you watch, you watch and see. I'll be back. You know, so it's, oh man, that was crazy times going back. That was crazy times, man. You got to embrace it all. Otherwise, what's the fucking alternative? And what I love about these tenets is the absoluteness in their nature. You're either with it or you're against it. You stand for it or you don't. And you live with the consequences if you don't. It's why it's the first one. Why? Because I guarantee you it's coming. There's no guarantees that you'll win in life, but there's 100%. Well, you know, there is if you follow through on these tenets. But what I'm saying is in the moment, there's no guarantee you'll win the race, right? I've got my race, but there's millions of races that you run. A decision, an hour at work with your family, your kids, a situation, shit's hitting the fan. There's no guarantee you'll win that moment. You'll win overall, but you won't win that moment. But there's absolutely a guarantee that you're going to be tested and that you will fail temporarily and that you will lose moments. 100%. Absolutely, mate. That's why it's the first one. Embrace it all. It's not being cold. It's not going through the process of life as a human being, having your emotions, processing them, sitting with it. You're not here to operate your family. You're not here to operate yourself. The irony is every decision, even if you think is logical, has an emotional attachment to it. Even the most logical has a sense of self and pride and ability in your identity to be able to logically play things out. Those numbers make sense. I didn't get fucking done over here. I made the right call here. I invested in that stock, whatever it might be, fucking crypto, and yep, I fucking— like, it's all logical-based. I'll win. There's still an emotional attachment to the importance that you held by being so intellectually articulate in your decisions. It's fucking everywhere, mate. So still hold on to that human side of you, but embrace the struggle. Where is the gift? What don't I see? Where is the gift that I'm yet to receive in this moment? And be open. Don't sit on statements when your back's up against the wall and you're getting fucking punched in the face and nailed left, right, and center. Ask the question. There's got to be something in here for me, right? It's not even about being positive. It's just being optimistic. And being proactive in the situation. There's got to be a gift here somewhere, and that's how I was when we were on the verge of dying, man. I was on the verge of— I was, man, it was so bad. Every test you could think of, I wasn't, I wasn't neglectful of the situation, mate. I did everything I could to fix it. Everything I could. Where is the gift? Thank you. So, so here's a good one-liner for you. Um, yeah, and look, I'm not here to push religion onto anyone, but I, I have this personal, um, affirmation, I guess, or this, this, um, this mantra, if you will. I, I direct mine towards, towards God, but you know, you could just do it to yourself. Yeah, thank you for the gift I am yet to receive. You know, that's— and I know it seems a bit, bit funny, but, um, yeah, and you can expand on this, fellas, but just have your own mantra, whether you, whether it's yourself or your others or your family, your own personal dialogue. Just have that. Say, thank you for the gifts I'm yet to receive through these hard times that will challenge, shape, and mold me to become better. Like, that's, mate, just think about that. Like, bang, gone immediately. All of that power, all of the power of the worry, the concern, the doubt, the uncertainty, the unknown. I fucking love the unknown, man. You know why? Because that's where the adventure lies. What is possible? What can become known? So, so when you look at this, you need to really look at it from an angle of what's the point, what's the purpose, what am I trying to achieve? Is this fucking framework of my mentality, my state, my emotional attachment, my perspective serving me or pulling me down? Thank you for the gift I'm yet to receive through this challenge, this hardship that is going to shape, mold, forge me into becoming more. Because without that, you never will. If all you did was win, you'll never become more. It's impossible. So buckle it, buckle up and, uh, and get ready, boys, for the next 5 hours of this podcast if we're going to spend that amount of time on each tenet. But this is important. I just wanted to, it's super important with that first one. But what's amazing is how much these are interlinked as well, because if you don't embrace it all. Well, then you're not taking ownership. Hard to be a man of your word. Hard to maintain your ambition. Student for life? Forget about it. Can't be ambitious if you're not a student for life. Like, and we'll interlink them all shortly, but that first one's important, man. That's why I wanted to spend more time on it, even though it's at the bottom of the list. They're all equal in importance. This, it's so powerful, man. If you don't embrace it all, the other 14 will never work. Ever. Ever. And then what's the alternative? To be a victim. How's that work out for those people? Yeah, not very fucking good, in case you weren't sure. Embrace it all. Second one, deny normal. Here's the thing, man. Like, so there are 6 above the line tenets. First one, embrace it all. Second one, deny normal. Here's the thing, right? When we look at averages or normal or mediocre, normal standard, it's not bound by numbers. I used to think that way. So go, you know, look at 8 billion people, person number 4 billion and 1, he's above average. So not a chance, mate. Not a chance. I can't believe I used to entertain that thought as well. It's not based on volume. It's based on standards. So when I say deny normal, what that means is, hey, can you be different And can you choose a different grain in life, zigging instead of zagging, as opposed to the other, geez, I don't know, 7 billion, 900 million people? I don't know what the number is. Maybe 100 million are above average. Maybe 500 million are. Maybe 30 million are. Who knows? But in terms of average, Oh yeah, man, like you're talking the masses. You're talking in the 90s when it comes to percent. So deny normal is so important because, yeah, like in Saturday Night Live sort of shit, if you keep doing the same thing expecting different result, right? That's what will happen to you. So, and I did a short piece about this on, on becoming better. Um, most people don't want to be better, right? So, but they want better things. So when I say deny normal, It really is, you know, the inverted version is, yeah, just be average like everyone else. But the problem is most people in this world are average, yet their perspectives and desires are above normal, naturally. I mean, who wouldn't, right? Like, who sits there saying, I just want an average car and average experience and an average life and average wife, average children, average love, average body? Fucking no one does. You know, do you want to win or do you just like the idea of winning? Because if you really want something, you go out and fucking get it. So, so when we look at deny normal, it's super important. Why, men? Because you are surrounded by it. There is an overwhelming energy and frequency that is pulling you back into the norm. It is so fucking tough. Like you go anywhere, shops, anything, you are pulled, you are stripped down and You are shoved into normality. Like it's everywhere. I'm not saying people are out there evil. I'm saying the sheer overwhelm of frequencies, the level in which people are vibrating, operating at is so big, is so big. You walk into a room with 100 people, you know, and that just, that normal energy and you come in as a high performer, it fucking drains the shit out of you. I go to a gym at the moment and so there's two different gyms that I go to. One, horrible culture. Like it's just, it's, it's every fifth dude is on the gear or some sort of fucking, um, what do I call them? Um, performance, is it PEDs? PEDs? Yeah, performance enhancing drugs. Right. One in every five dudes is fucking jacked on something. And every, every time I go, I say hello, ask how they're going, the people at the desk and they're surprised. Oh, I'm very good. Thank you. How are you? I was like, do people not fucking say hello and goodbye when they walk past the entry here? Man, horrible, horrible culture. So what's going on? And look at what I do for work, right? What's going through my head? I'm walking through and there's dudes like walking in front of me and just, just, just being fucking rude. But I've had a couple of nice conversations with people too, but overall the culture is generally pretty piss poor. So what goes through my head? Oh, fuck this fucking— who the fuck's this young bloke think he is? I've been training your fucking whole life, mate. Who the fuck are you to fucking walk in front or step or be rude or say this? These women, not just women, but typically they're women behind the desk when I go in. They never say hello or goodbye. I'm the one who always says that. So what happens? What the fuck are they? It's fucking women, man. I'm paying you fucking money. You don't say hello to me. I'm a customer, right? This is the risk. It's why it's got to be a tenet, man. It's got to be at the forefront, right? Both of those embrace it all, don't be a victim, and then deny normal. Super important. So it might seem simple and all of these are and embrace it all, deny normal. They're verbs, they're action based. It's why it's in there, man, because it's so important to combat because it's so easy to slip into because that's how everyone else fucking operates. And apologies if kids or women are listening to this, you know, there's probably going to be a couple hundred swear words. I'm just, I'm very passionate about this because this is life. This is your life, man. It's the ultimate formula. You follow through on this, you write this down, you keep it at the forefront, post-it notes, screensaver on your phone, on your desk, anywhere, like, and you live them, you speak them, you talk about one of them, you know, we focus on one every week, one every month. As a team, it's life-changing, but also it's the precursor or the preventer or the most powerful tool you can have against or to combat everything else out there in the world. Because it's all well and good for us to do a podcast, listen to it, get in a state, awesome, beautiful, great. And then all of the flurries come, the hooks, the jabs, the over-the-tops, trying to pull you back. Into their way of thinking and being. Denying normal. No, no, no, I deny normal. I'm here to live an above-normal life, to live an exceptional life, and to have unwavering proof of that. Not to just be a little bit above average, not to be number 4 billion and 1, to be the top of the top. And not to compare, but just to allow examples and standards to set a higher level of frequency and leadership in my life. Next one, overcommunicate. Yeah, this is like when I say overcommunicate, it's, it's, it's, yes, it's a bit of a compensatory thing in some aspects because we don't communicate enough. And that, you know, that, that could be posture and body language and texting and other things. But yeah, obviously talking, we talk about communication through example, listening, and talking. When I've typically brought up an example, right, of what it is, those three tiers, because example is a form of communication, but overcommunicate is really Bringing that pendulum back to center, because men, we don't communicate, uh, like, here's the funny part. Men typically don't communicate enough, and women typically communicate too much. So, or, or men don't communicate enough, and when they do, the quality could be hit and miss. Women think they communicate better than men, but they just communicate more. It's not necessarily more value. When they speak. Again, I'm not packing shit on women either, I'm just calling it for what it is. And that's rightfully so. Women are emotionally driven, so they can communicate more frequently. And through that communication frequency, there's a processing. My wife could tell me something in 3 seconds and she'll take a minute 48 to tell me it. That's cool. That is what it is. I don't hate her for it. It's a beautiful balance to my sharp leadership, so to speak, where I just want to conserve energy, time, and get the fucking job done. So I love that in her and that grounds me. But overcommunicate is really important. Like it's overcommunication is the vessel that brings clarity and transparency on your position. Tell me in what right mind in your life do you think a lack of clarity and a lack of transparency is valuable in relationships? Your kids, with your wife, your clients, your employees. Place of work, strangers. I come across as an intense man, and I know at times, I don't know, I think people might think I'm in— I'm not here to be intimidating at all, but I know I can come across that way. But I'm not. Nah, man, it's just there's times where I'm direct for sure, but I can be very diplomatic as well. You know, I'm not a tyrant, but I'm big on communication. So when there's times where I've been direct and it's sort of shocked people in a refreshing way, because most of the world covers up smoke and mirrors masks and they're full of shit. I shouldn't say most of the world, but it is. But like, yeah, a lot of people just don't operate genuinely with those two things. Clarity and transparency is like, whoa, this dude was super direct, super clear and transparent on his position on things. I've gotten to the truth of where this guy stands in fucking 8 seconds. What is this? It's a beautiful thing. That's what it is. Does that mean that we don't joke and laugh and have jovial nature at hand with work and other things? Of course not. Yeah, we love that. That's great. But overcommunication is really important, guys, because it brings clarity and transparency on your position and also your perspective on their position and where things are at. So not just overcommunicating in yourself, take some time out, reflect, see where life's at. How's it going, Al? What's going on, man? What's the news? Walk and talk with yourself. Not just that, but with every other relationship that you hold. Obviously, because the terms communicate, so it's an expression to another, which is why it matters. So overcommunicate is one of our tenets, because like, hey man, we need to fucking have a good tight pulse of clarity and transparency on where we're at, where we stand. That doesn't mean heavy conversations either. Means putting out fires quickly, reaching common ground, making decisions, having healthy debate, working back and forth on best ideas, best practices. It's all of the above. Overcommunicate. Guys, you don't have to go home and become a fucking blubbery mess either. It's not about emotions per se. It's just having good, genuine clarity and transparency in your position. So now you can see through this stuff, things like honesty, for instance, powerful value, right? But then also when we look at things like take ownership and serve in persona and perform with excellence, like it's like, okay, well, there's a difference between being being honest and then telling all the facts. Like I've said many times, like, you don't need to know how many times I wiped my ass today. Like, do you need to know every single minute detail? You know, I'm sitting right now with my hand on my hip and my hand on the desk. Okay, cool. Is that information serving you well? Speaking into a microphone. So overcommunicate's a powerful thing, but it's very often neglected, which means the inverted is not undercommunicate. Let's talk about the outcome, the byproduct. Inverted is drift, a gap, assumptions. Ooh, man, deadly things. Assumptions. Yeah. Be careful of those. Expectations. Unmet. So that's assumptions also driven with how you see someone should be and operate and behave, but it's not even communicated. So it's actually withholding that. So then it becomes resentment and dangerous place to be. Dangerous place to be. Overcommunicate is so important. Next one, servant persona. When I think of servant, and this is important for all of you, if you want to be a great leader, you need to be great at serving. It's servant. That's providing value to enrich the life of another. It's not fucking slave and it's not savior, right? It's not savior persona. Man, I've lived with that early days of HPF. It was so heavy. Oh, it was so heavy, man. Man, it was so tough. So tough. I can save it. I can do it. I can help them. It's actually layered with ego. So fucking stupid, man. Such a heavy energy. And then slave, that's what a lot of you pandas have become. Everyone's beck and call. So what does that mean? Accessibility is diluting your value. And then because of that, it's coming at the cost of you not investing yourself. So you're giving 100 of the 30 that you've got to give. So it's not even good enough. And your wife fucking sends the dish back into the kitchen, mate. Tell the chef it was shit. Cook my steak better, right? So it's not slave and it's not savior, it's servant. What does that then mean? Well, if I'm here to enrich the lives of those around me by providing more value, that might come with some tough conversations. Hey Bill, I appreciate everything you're sharing with me. Question: that fucking story of yours, Bill, is it raising you up or pulling you down? I'm curious. Help me understand how this is going to work if you're going to keep holding on to that story. Or would you perhaps consider that will be a different way? Are you open to me discussing that with you, Bill, so I can help you navigate what your next steps are? And then it'll reframe your thinking on things, which will create a better understanding of your situation and also bridge the gap between you and your wife and what's currently happening. That's all love, baby. That's love. All the Bills out there. When I do roleplay, when I do roleplay with the team, it's always Bill. Fuck, I feel sorry for Bill, but he gets to talk to Al, so that's not too bad. Shout out to all the Bills out there. This is going to another level now, man. All the Bills will be like, fuck, you know when they say that like, it was like that person was talking to me? Al was actually fucking talking to me, man. What I'll do is I'll, um, we'll probably do this eventually with AI one day. Who fucking knows? Not that I like it or use it. Um, shooting ads. I'll do an ad for Bill, for Andrew, for James, for Ted. We'll just shoot like, yeah, 30,000 ads. Um, and target those who have the name on Facebook. Servant persona. So the persona is, hey, what can I do? How can I help? Where can I lead? Where can I enrich and provide value to the lives of others? Not how can I help? How can I jump in your sinking ship and we drown together? I'm on my fucking jet ski, man. Just pulled up next to you. Hey, hey, Traveller, man, that dinghy looks pretty fucked up. There's a few holes, it's sinking. You need some help? Yeah, man, can you jump in? I can't, man. If I jump in, we're gone. Like, I'm 112 kilos, mate. That can't work. But what I can do I can direct you, Bill. There's a little island, just follow me. I'll get a bit of rope, I'll tie your boat onto my jet ski. There's an island that's a little bit— that probably wouldn't work well with a jet ski, but there's, um, we'll have to get the rope plenty of slack. There's an island just over here, and over there there's actually a repair shop, and, um, that's mine. So on that repair shop, Bill, on that little island, I'll help you repair your boat, man. Let's turn it into a, into a powerful beast. And I've actually got an engine there as well. You're using an oar, and the oar has holes throughout it, man, so you can't even paddle properly. So Do these actions, do these steps. Like that, that's what servant, like service. Life is service. Life is service. Serve yourself, not from an egoic position, but from a position of being more to give more. Be 100 to give 100. Like that whole be 100 to give 100. Like you got to use it. You don't go to bed with 100 every day. That's one, it's impossible, but two, it's fucking stupid from a mentality point of view. Be 100 to give 100. Fantastic. Who am I giving it to? So you don't give it to everyone. I can't give 1 to 100 people. I can give 34 to my wife. Kids are at Nan and Pop's. It's the school holidays. Okay. Don't give anything to them. I can give, you know, 15 to myself. Cool. Just need to go for a 1-hour walk today and pump fucking 50 into work. Awesome. Great. Use it. Servant persona, but it's the persona, right? That's the mentality. The mental attitude and approach, the emotional investment without attachment, right? You're not a slave. You're not a savior. Servant persona. The next one is student for life, for life. The best leaders, the most successful people. And that, that's not money. It's, I'm at my 90th and I've got 53 family members around me all praising what an amazing journey it is that I've all continued, I've continued to add value to all of their lives and so on and so forth. It's a student for life. The most successful, the greatest leaders, always, always learning, always looking to improve. Like, look, I've read a lot of books, man, but the greatest gift is from humans for sure. It's very accelerated, very accelerated, whether it's mentors and or clients. You just listen, you pay attention, you learn. Student for life. Yeah, no, my wife isn't going through menopause. I have no idea what that's like, but I'll tell you what, you know, we've had— well, shit, we've had thousands, but yeah, right now there's 34 guys who are in your squad. They're around the same age and their wives are going through similar things. Let me connect you with 3 men. You can talk through some of the best practice. But here's what I would do through these times. This is what I've learned from the few thousand I've helped who are in their late 40s and their wives have gone through menopause on how to address the situation and what you can do to help. Well, fucking brilliant, mate. Like student, always learning. I haven't lived it myself, but what can I learn? What can I observe? I feel so lucky, man. Like I feel like the luckiest man in the world and not because I'm watching poor behaviors ahead of me and what not to do, not at all, but both. So I can see the common man and what's happening and how things just fucking fall apart in their 40s and their 50s and their 60s. But also all of these men crushing best practices in your 40s and your 50s and your 60s. How awesome. Like, man, I'm just watching and observing. And that doesn't mean I'm following their life as I get older. I'm here to carve my own as you're here to carve yours. That's pretty good to be able to see what potholes to miss, right? And what pastures have got some good growth going on and fertilizer and greenery coming. Yeah, so, so that's a big one. Student for life. You, you have no idea what you're capable of. Because you haven't yet become that version. But then here's the kicker: you never will become perfected or the ultimate version. You will keep going even at your 90th. If you make it to 90, cool. Can you keep going and growing? What's left? That's the thing, man. That's what makes this a beautiful game. Not a, not a game you should never start, but a beautiful game. You'll— every single one of you will die before you reach your potential. Wow. But how close can I get? Just how close can I get? Man, that invigorates me. I don't know, maybe it deflates some people, but for me it's like, yeah, and it is true, the more you know, the more you realize you don't know. It's like, oh man. But then also, where, where are you learning? Where are you learning, right? Like, are you wasting time getting distracted with all this fucking bullshit going on in the world? Man, you can see the shit a mile away. Every decade the world's ending. But you know, like it's, it's, it all comes at a cost. So student for life is, well, yeah, student, but what courses, what curriculum, right? Who's the teacher? Have they got your best interest at heart? Do they want you to live a wonderful, beautiful, fulfilling, and rewarding life in family, self, and service? So be careful of what you learn as well. But the tenet is, yes, I am a student for life. But with that comes some street smarts and intelligence on where should I learn and what am I trying to learn that will serve me and my family. Because at the end of the day, man, that's all that fucking matters. You and your family. A family is everything. It's the last thing Prince Pop— he was like fucking 98 or something, he died 5 years ago— last thing he said, squeezing my hand, we barely made it in because of all that COVID shit that was going on, it was really tough, we had to We finally got in because he was, because he was dead and there was no other family around. Quinn and I just visited him on that day and he went down really quickly. He was already in hospital on the way out, but that was like, geez, these are his last moments. Squeeze my hand, man. And he felt like a— I felt like I was shaking the hand of a strongman. I couldn't— like, so it wasn't shaking my hand, he grabbed it and he squeezed it. And mate, that— the strength in his hand, I'll never forget. I was like, wow, this 98-year-old is like holding my hand 5 times stronger than I could. Squeezed someone's hand. It was, it was quite eerie, actually. It was, um, pretty surreal. You hold on to your family. They're all you got. Family is everything. Don't you ever forget it. Man, that just, that just rattles through my bones, just, just saying that to you guys again and reliving that moment. Student for life. Become more so the hundreds, better quality fuel, so you can give more, so you can provide more. And it's not just about more reps, it's more value, more quality, more impact. It's not just about volume. Student for life, man. Which takes me into the final one for the above the line: ambitious. Ambitious. I did a short video about this explaining to Stella, you know, you're gonna marry a man one day. Yep, you know. Look, he might not be quite as, um, as successful as Daddy, but you know, Daddy's going to probably be in his 50s at that stage, right? So he's not expected to be. So you want to look for a young man who's got good values, a good heart, um, you know, and he's ambitious. And what does ambitious mean? Oh, okay, I could break that down. It means somebody just wants to be better. And then I just sat there, just shaking my head, going, can you believe most people in the world just don't want to be better? Isn't that crazy? Can you imagine, like, at any point in your life, I know it seems a bit harsh, but even in your 60s, or what, work's done, you had your 40-year career, so what, you've earned the right to be a fucking slob? Like, in your 70s, at any stage of your life, not just your 20s or 30s or 40s, at any stage of your life, could you imagine having the mentality, but that's not spoken, obviously, but having the mentality of not wanting to be better anymore. Oh yeah, I'm set, I'm done. What do you mean? If people don't love me for who I am, they don't deserve me. It's like, yeah, but who are you? You keep fucking changing, mate. Like, welcome to life. There is no the same. Like, who are you? Who you are is who you are right now. That's going to change. You're going to be different in a year. You were different 5 years ago. You'll be different in 12 years' time. That's a fucking bullshit statement. If you don't love me for who I am, well, who are you? Are you someone who's better or worse than you were before? Don't worry about the organism that we are that decays slowly over time. I'm going to get older, more wrinklier, less of an athlete. Cool. But can I be the best 58-year-old I ever could be? Can I be the best 74-year-old I ever could be? Of course. Wanting to be better. That's how simple it is. I just laughed when I explained it to Stella. I was like, yeah, it's just someone who wants to keep improving and being better. Not ambitious around finances. Ambitious on life. Just how good can I be? Just how good can I be? Ambition, man. Be ambitious. Want to improve. Want to be better. Again, I'm not saying this to be hard, man. That's when I said hard-hitting. It's going to bring up some tough mirrors for you, but those of you listening, it's not that you're not enough. You are enough. You're enough to become more. Okay, I'm enough. Sweet. Well, stop then. I'll just jump off the edge of the earth. I'm all done. Yeah, you are enough, but do you just stop there on that statement? But what's possible? What can I become now with what I've got? That's enough. Who can I become next? That's, that's the gift, man. Otherwise, you're already dead. You're already dead. You are enough, enough to become more, enough to use what you've got, right? If you're enough, good. Now go fucking use it and see what happens. And I bet you There's a pretty good chance you'll become just a little bit more. Wow. I'm enough now. I'm enough plus 0.1. Brilliant. Go again. You know, like it's, it's, I mean, fuck, I'm 40, man. Like that's, that's 60-year-olds are young. It's so fucking young, mate. An 80-year-old, you look at trees. Most of those trees are older than you. You know, it's crazy, man. So fucking young. 80 is young. It's nothing. It's nothing. 40, you've just been born. You know, it's like, I've just built my first half to now start, I've just lived my first half to now start building the second half. It's crazy, man. Crazy. You know, that's what cracks me up. In your 50s, ah, 40, yeah mate, you're young. Guess what? The fucking 80-year-olds are saying the same to you. And then the people who died fucking 200 years ago, if they could speak, would say the same to you as an 80-year-old. Like, it's so quick. It's so quick. Ambition. It's, it's a must, man. It's a must. Don't waste. You cannot waste it. You cannot waste it. Embrace it all. Embrace the struggles, the heartaches, the heartbreaks. There's nothing wrong with you. You're going to get punched in the face. You're going to fail. You're going to fuck things up. You can have people you disappoint. You can have people look down on you. You're going to be judged. Awesome. Welcome to the fucking show. You're in the arena. Let's go. Embrace it all. Deny normal. Refuse. Refuse. I spoke on another podcast, mate. Nothing detests me more than any slight any form of comparison of Alex Ranieri to coward. I fuck that word, man. That kills me. Like, it's just— couldn't get fucking far enough away from it. Deny normal. Have it inside of your DNA to detest what quote-unquote normal is. Overcommunicate. That matters. Clarity and transparency on your position. Seeking that through others and their position. That, that's what builds relationships. Servant persona. You'll always become more when you're always in— you will always become more when you're invested in more than yourself. You should pause that, replay it, write that down. You will always become more when you're invested in something that's more than yourself. I think that's what I said. I'll have to replay this. You will always become more, men. When you invest in something more than yourself. That's why I love HPF, the mission. Wow, what it requires from me is crazy. How awesome. What a gift. What a gift. That mission is so powerful. That's why I'm as attractive as fuck to Corinne. The ambition, who I'm becoming, me driving a mission, that mission at the forefront. She can't compare to a mission. No human can. Completely different metrics. I'll get her on too. She's very keen for a podcast, so we just got to plan around baby sleep time. Uh, that'll be cool. Looking forward to seeing how much shade she throws. The servant persona, student for life. It is the key to your next level, to your next version, to the next breakthrough. An ambitious, a hunger, a desire, a yearning to be more, to become better. You invert those. All right, ambitious. Yeah, shoot for fucking nothing. Don't have any goals, aspirations, dreams, or drive to be more. Student for life. Hey, you're a know-it-all, man. You know, no one needs to tell you shit. You've got it all figured out. You're fucking set. You're complete and whole and perfect. Serving persona. That becomes a very greedy, selfish, also almost narcissistic approach. It's like, hey, what's in it for me? My fucking turn. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. At the cost It's not about investing yourself, be 100 to give 100, at the cost of others. Serving persona, selfish. Overcommunicate. Hey, just fucking block everyone out, man. Do fuck all. Like, don't just, yeah, she'll be alright. Just fucking leave it. Deny normal. Um, I fucking love being average and ordinary in life. I couldn't think of anything more fulfilling and rewarding. Embrace it all. Everyone's fault. Everyone's fault. They're nothing to do with me. Didn't you hear what I just said in the last 30 seconds? I'm the fucking man, complete whole. What about me? It's all your fault. I put the V in victim, baby. Wow. Crazy. Crazy. Uh, this is definitely going to have to be two parts, given we're 47 minutes in. But I hope this serves you well, man. I hope this serves you well. You know, I know I've done an older episode talking about um, those 5, the top ones, the North Star. But, but I just wanted to, you know, obviously I want to move into, um, the, the other ones, but I think, I think 2 parts will be good for this because I don't know if you guys enjoy this or get value out of it, but it's important to expand so that you see what I'm saying. And I did mean that, like, I want you to visualize and see the words that I'm speaking? That matters. Can you see what I'm saying and how that lands for you? That's above the line, right? Very powerful. So when I say bare minimum, it doesn't matter. But yes, bare minimum, but it's very powerful. Very, very powerful. If you're a man who embraces all the struggles you face in life, you refuse to be average and ordinary like everyone else. You are very impactful with your communication to gain and give clarity and transparency and build a relationship through your communication. And that's driving a level of value and service that you want to provide to everyone closely connected to in your life. That's done from a man who's hungry for more with growth and knowledge, a student for life and ambition to become great. You know, you can see how this all connects. Hey, you've got it. You've got an exceptional life. You've got an exceptional blueprint for your life right now. Then when we move into the spine, you know, you're looking at your mentality and attitude towards others and what you pursue. You know, really, really, really important. Uh, unless you guys are happy for me to do Um, which is hard talking to myself in this room, but fapping me to do this in one episode, which I think we should. I think, I think we should. Um, because those 6, they're, they're really, really important. Really, really important. And I wanted to take my time going through them with you all. Let's keep going. The show goes on. I don't think it'll be as long as some of the other podcasts I've done with the panels. So, uh, yeah, fuck it. We won't cut it up. Let's do it in one hit. The spine. There's 4 in the spine. So 6 above the line, 4 in the spine, 5 in the North Star. The 4 in the spine are the following: chase the North Star, honor the vehicle, honor the traveler, be you and show you, bleed for your brothers. Now, obviously, as a human being, if you were a woman or mum listening to this and you can connect, ah, these tenets would be exceptional for you. You can change the words to bleed for your brothers, but this is obviously more symbolic and been tailored towards fathers and HPF. But let's start with that one. Bleed for your brothers. You know, the greatest way that you can uplift yourself, like I said before, to become more, you invest in more than yourself, is people, not just a mission. You're on a footy team, old mate's missed a tackle, he's struggling, you do the COVID tackle like that. There's, there's There's nothing that can lift you up more and remind you of what matters most, where you can focus, the value of your leadership, and the impact you can have than helping another human being. So when it's bleed for your brothers, it's like, hey, old mate might be operating at 30%, I get that, and you might be at 54%, give him some fucking juice, mate. Give them a little bit. Like, you— it's not about sacrificing. That's why you need the above the line. You've got to be smart, you've got to be measured and intentional. Sure. When it comes to believe for your brothers, it's like, hey, I got you, I've got your back. You know, those first two are really important— being you and showing you, and believe for your brothers. Because it's both— because both of them have They build a level of trust. They both have trust in them, right? Bleed for your brothers is performance-based trust. Hey, I've got your back. I'm willing to do what it takes. It's not help your brother. It's bleed for him. You know, I'm willing to, you know, fuck. We all have tough times, man, but geez, how good does it feel when you've got someone who's just got your back? And even if you don't need it, you know that they've got it. That's what this is. It's like, I've got you, man. Willing to do whatever it takes. Like, bleed for your brothers. I've got your back. I can cover you. I can help you. If or when you need, I'm fucking there, mate. 3 AM in the morning, mate, forget about it. No dramas at all. I'm there, mate. Don't even give it another thought. It's not just buying into a mission, but it's buying into a way of life with others. That are aligned on the same mission, the same vertical. And you and your brothers, quote unquote, might have different careers or jobs, or it's not about just working the same thing and being robotic twins, but it's like, yeah, man, I can see you, bro. I got you. We're on the same page. You would surely have picked that up from the panels of the podcast sessions we've done with 2, 3, 4 of the members at a time. It's incredible, man. I've got your back. And I'm willing to help you. I'm willing to do whatever it takes because I know that you've got mine, because you live and embody the same tenet. That is a very powerful thing. Like, I had that with my brothers growing up. I mean, sure, we fought a lot, but also they, they always had my back and supported me and definitely protected me when, um, I guess outsiders— like, you know, that I get bullied and picked on for being the fat kid and all that sort of stuff. But also, they— I remember times with my brother or tough conversations like, hey man, like, I'm not going to be here all the time. So his way of bleeding for me was not just protecting me against bullies, but was putting some gloves on and punching the fuck out of each other and teaching me how to fight. Good, because he was, um, my brother Tim was pretty, pretty good, um, fighter and kickboxer. So, you know, like, it's— that's bleeding for your brothers. He's given me time he doesn't have to give to help me become more. You know, forever grateful for that, because I end up having, I think, 4 or 5 fights at school, and then Wow, would you believe it? I stopped getting bullied. You know, not that I was, um, Mike Tyson or Mayweather by any means, but I just started fucking punching people back in the face and then they, they stopped picking on me. You know, it's, I was going to say it wasn't that simple, but it actually was. Isn't it funny, man? What a wild jungle school is. It's crazy. It's crazy. Bleeding for your brothers. It's, it's that. Like, if you sat there right now and asked yourself this question, who do I know that would bleed for me? Be quite a sombering answer, wouldn't it? You know, we've had guys join HPF for like, they just, they love the community, the brotherhood so much, so much so they're like, oh man, I won't name him, but he said, my mates are fucking shit compared to all of you guys. Well, you're, you're in a group of nearly 600 men hungry and ambitious and denying normal, embracing it all over, communicating, here to serve each other, wanting to learn and be like, pretty powerful cohort of men who want to make the most of this limited gift we've got. But yeah, appreciate the sentiment. It's, it's hard, man. Not many of you would have that. It's what, I don't know if it's a word or not, but it's what is unreplicable. It cannot be, like copycats can't steal what we got, man. What we have isn't a course. It's a powerful brotherhood. And yeah, they all fucking say it, don't they? We got a community, we got this, we got that. Of course you fucking do. Do you? Truth always wins. Bleed for your brothers. This is a powerful place to be in HPF, but not even HPF, in yourself, in your own life. That, that matters. That matters to you. No man has ever achieved greatness walking alone. Ever, ever. Has he done great things? Yeah. Has he done good? Has he gotten good outcomes? Sure. But greatness, a way of being, a way of life, a historical ledger that's representative of what he can now leave with his heart full and his mind still at peace as he moves on into the next life. Oh man. Hmm. It's a pretty cool desire for us all to have as men, right? Bleeding for your brothers. The next one, be you and show you. This is vulnerability-based trust, not performance-based trust. Hey, no matter what, man, I got your back. I'm here for you. Happy to go above and beyond. Give you any time you need. I can support you. Yeah, man, you know, not here to physically bleed for you. Um, well, that happened actually in footy plenty of times, right? You put your body on the line. But yeah, it's just like, no, I've got you, man. Be You and Show You is about vulnerability-based trust. So you can see me bare bones, naked and all, and you still choose to be around me, you still accept me for where I am, and you still appreciate my past and my history. And how I speak and who I am today. But also, yeah, we want to be more. We want to keep changing, want to keep growing and going and growing. But as of right now, it's like, hey, you accept me even though you know all the things that could lead to you not wanting to accept me. That's powerful. It's— I've done it plenty of times, shedding a tear in front of the team, talking about personal things, personal stories, heroes, the struggles I've had with my life, my father. You know, and just bonding and connecting. Be you and show you. The reason why there's two pieces to that is a lot of people will be themselves. It's like, but do they show it? Do they really show it? Like, yeah, I'm being me, but it's like, yeah, but is a part of you reserved? So you're not actually speaking your fucking mind and sharing your thoughts on things. So yeah, be you, but show you. Show you, like, speak up. That's why the other ones matter. Overcommunicate. Where are you at? Be you and show you. Like we will never be, um, I will never be corporate, but it's not, it's nothing against corporate businesses. It's just that's such a, and I feel for people like you guys in corporate or if you're in HR or other things or like it's, and you might have an amazing company or amazing results or other things, but it's tough, man. Yes, lots of cloak and dagger type stuff, you know. Very, very hard environment. Be you and show you. Bleed for your brothers. You've got vulnerability and performance-based trust. And with that trust, you can then have healthy conflict, debate, speak through things, have tough conversations, not attacking people, but attacking ideas, not just advocacy, but inquisition, right? I need to inquire, why is that your idea? Why do you think that'll work? What are your thoughts on that? So it's not an attack or judgment on the person. It's debating, having healthy conflict on a foundation of trust. I fucking trust and love that person. Bleed for your brothers, be you, show you. So right now that gives us both permission to have hard fucking conversations. This is so important in business too, man, for a lot of you guys, right? Whether you're on a fucking job site or not, it's, it's, you know, what I'm talking about, sorry, is the dynamics of it. You know, blokey blokes. No, no, cool. If you've got blokey blokes. If you're fucking really manned up and you built a tight brotherhood like a championship sporting team, you'd crush it on site regardless of the trade or industry. So be you and show you. That's super important. What I feel very lucky about, guys, is how I operate now, like professionally with you all, is exactly how I am personally. Like that's what I work my ass off, man. Like I work so hard. Um, just to preface what I'm about to say, but to do this is so easy. To be myself, like this, this here, and how I— so how I work in serving this mission and all of you men across the country, it's so easy because I'm just being myself. So I work hard, but, but how I do it, there's no front. There's— could you imagine how hard that'd be? Oh shit, that's right, I've got to do this, I've got to act that way, I've got to put up this front. Oh yeah, I've got to speak these. It's like, no man, like it's If I want to swear, I swear. If I don't want to swear, I don't swear. Like, full control. But it's part of me. Sometimes I enjoy doing it, and other times it's not necessary. But how I'm operating with you right now is exactly who I am. Now, I speak a little bit differently to my 90-year-old grandmother, sure. Speak a bit differently to Florence, give her a few little cutesy words that would, you know, sound a bit odd if I was doing that to grown men, sure. But I'm me, baby. That's how awesome. Now, what also does matter though, if you look at the above the line and all the other things that we pursue through these tenets, yeah, I'm not 15-year-old Al. I've, I've, I've fucking ripped in, man, and I can provide a lot of value. Despite my persona and mannerisms and how I deliver the value, I'm valuable. I'm here to provide value. So it's not just be you and show you as a, as a non-ambitious victim-natured fucking slob who knows it all, says fuck all, and wants to be ordinary. That's sure, you can do that, be you and show you, but you won't have, like, you'll have your people. Your people will be you. When we're talking about a high-performance organization and leadership, man, I'm just being myself, but also my actions do all the speaking. So I really love that, like these, these tenets, the spine. Bleed for your brothers. Be you and show you. Have that transparency. Be proactive in that because then you can have healthy debate, conflict, which then means you can create commitments and have clarity on your position on things. And then with that clarity, you can drive actions and accountability. Hold each other to account and you have results. It's part of, um, where is it here? Lencioni's book, really good book for organizational health. It's called The Advantage and he's got, um, see if I can bring it up here. Yeah, he's got the triangle that I just spoke about. So it all starts with trust and then trust can then lead to conflict and then conflict gives clarity. This is my position on things. This is where I stand, which they can then drive commitment. So trust allows conflict, which then drives clarity, which then becomes commitment. So that's like the same thing. So it's trust, conflict, commitment, accountability, results. Hey, how awesome. You can have that with your children. Well, you think there's trust because you're their father. Have you built it? Have you developed it? Are you being you and showing you for what they need, where they're at? It's pretty important, man. My kids think I can lift up cars. I can't. Um, and I tell them that as much as I'd love to fantasize about their belief in that for as long as possible, you know. But again, honesty and telling all facts. What's the point? What's the purpose? What am I trying to achieve? You know, um, my son's 5. He doesn't need to know about sex right now. Okay. Um, so be you and show you. I'm not going to say, hey Roman, having sex is awesome, man. It's like, that's fucking stupid. Be you and show you though. Being your authentic self. Authenticity is such a rare thing today. Authenticity. That's why you can see, especially with AI, all these, all these business moguls are all talking about personal brand, personal brand, personal brand. That doesn't give, doesn't fucking matter, mate. Why do you need alexfranieri.com? Who gives a fuck? That's even worse. Because they're leveraging and using AI to build personal brands. Anyway, um, authenticity, men. Truth always wins, and over time all is revealed. It's why it's a powerful piece. Just be yourself and show yourself, but with the above the lines, keep making that better. Ambition, student for life, servant persona, overcommunicate, deny normal, embrace it all. They're the two of the four tenets of the spine. The other two: honor the vehicle, honor the traveler, and chase the North Star. Uh, I hope this is landing for you guys and, and hitting home some of these parts. I know some of this is uncomfortable too, but I just want you to reflect and go, look, where, where in my life have I not embraced it all? I've taken the normal route. I've shut my fucking mouth when I shouldn't have. Yeah. Uh, you know, was too much of a slave or savior. Or selfish, um, in a way that cost my family, not in a way that's investing in myself for the family. I just shut up shop and stopped learning new things, thought I fucking knew it all, or assumed anyway that I had enough. So it's not even that you guys are arrogant with ego or anything, or people in the world think that. It's just they just think they've got enough. It's like, yeah, but that's settling, man. Why the fuck are you settling? Which is now ambition. What drives you? What's your purpose? What do you want out of life? Can't achieve greatness alone. Well, if you want a solid cohort that's like-minded, they bleed for you, you bleed for them, wow, you will crush it, man. You'll achieve great things. But to maintain that and to hold that authenticity and that integrity, you've got to be yourself and you've got to show yourself. Be you and show you. And that makes it so powerful in that brotherhood that you have and upholding those above the line tenets. So we've got bleed for your brothers, be you, show you. The next one is honor the vehicle, honor the traveler. You know, it's, it's like the whole be 100 to give 100, right? But I guess the way that I phrase it with HPF is, you know, um, and if, whether it's a member, a squad leader, a coach, uh, even as one of our coaches, right? The mentality of the coach is HPF is so fucking lucky to have someone who feels so fucking lucky to be in HPF. So that, that, that fundamentally is the point of this. Honor the vehicle, honor the traveler. So if HPF is the vehicle for impact, change, leadership, life, providing a career path for these coaches that we have, right? Fantastic, mate. Awesome. We'll honor that fucking vehicle, but honor the traveler. Like, it's, it's like, give, give your best. Whenever I have catch-ups with the, the coaches and I work work on their development. I'm always looking at, man, how's the home life? Where are you at? How's the body? How's the health and nutrition? Where's the mind at? Like, I'm always focusing on them as a human being, an individual, because I know if I can help, if I can help them be at their absolute fucking best as a human being, then by default, without me asking fucking anything, they're going to give their best and be at their best in their leadership and for this mission. So that's a big one. Look, tailoring this to you, honor the vehicle, honor the traveler, could be your place of work. The vehicle could be your family nucleus. Like, honor your family by honoring yourself. Honor the honor, right, of being the best that you can for that. So it's not selfish, it's selfing and self-investing. And we are all self-centered in some way, shape, or form, because anything that impacts or affects us is impacting or affecting us, me, I. So I get all that. You can't remove that. Nor should you. You're not a lifeless meat sack. But it's also very, very important to make sure that you, you tie it in together. So, you know, it's an old, old saying, the old saying, um, not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but yeah, just, just saw it from a really old bloke and he said, the impediment to action is what pulls the action forward. It's what calls the action forward. He said the impediment to action is what calls the action forward. It's like, oh, fuck, super old stuff, right? You don't hear impediment much in most of the old, old school philosophy stuff. That's why I love Jim Rohn. It's super simple. I was like, it's so true, man. Like, the, the reason why you jump the fence and learn the skills to coordinate that is because the fence is fucking there in the first place. So sure, maybe you wanted to just walk across from one field to the other, but there's a fence there. But the impediment to action is what's called that action or a different type of action forward, which has led to the development and growth of my shoulders, my chest, my tricep muscles, my leg muscles, my hips, jump up pop swing. I'm not talking about a high fence, I can't climb very well. Just something about waist high is good. But we, we can't always define the, the heights of the fences that we face in life, can we? Uh, yes, dream on, Al. But you know, it's, it's so important to know that the advert— yeah, the obstacle is the way. Well, that sort of stuff that Ryan Holiday talks about. I've gone through a couple of his books and there's some, there's some good stuff in there. Um, But that is powerful. So this vehicle, don't see the vehicle as the curse or the burden or the, okay, I got one kid, I got five fucking kids, doesn't matter, mate. You know, the struggle with the misses, the challenges, shit hitting the fan, your children are emotional. Think about how many changes they go through. So many changes, man. Think about your child from 0 to 1, 1 to 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 5, 5 to 6. Wow. 6 to 8. 8 to 9, 9 to 11, holy moly, 11 to 13. Massive, massive, huge, huge, huge. Who are we to be bitter and resentful towards our children for going through what we went through when we're younger as well, despite the rules, conditions, or landscape that reality was at the time for us as opposed to whatever it is now? Still going through the same things, man, internally. In fact, it's even harder in some ways for you and for the kids. So Is that, is that what leads to you just fucking giving up and giving in? Honor the vehicle, honor the traveler. Your vehicle in life, family, self, and service. Honor that by honoring yourself. So it's actually quite a self-empowering tenet, this one. Because if I'm 100, I can give my team more. I can give my people more. I can give my family more. I can give my mission more. I can give my purpose more. It's a really important one in the spine, man. Yeah, sure, bleed for your brothers, be you and show you, you know what, mate, honor this journey of life. So the vehicle could be your life, it could be a part of a circle of service, circle of self, it could be inside self, a segment of your development, your skills or capacity. So you could go macro, micro on this. It's, it's, that's what I love about this too. You've got it. You've got to honor yourself, man. You've got to honor the value you can bring to this world. So you honor the gift of life, this chance, this shot that we have, the good, the bad. Can't have day without night, all that sort of stuff. You honor that by honoring yourself and becoming fucking more through ambition, student for life, servant persona, over-communicating, denying normal, embracing it all, being transparent to build clarity and trust with those around you, having something bigger than yourself where you are willing to bleed for your brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers. Like, it's Pretty awesome, isn't it? It's pretty, pretty crazy. Pretty cool how it all comes together. The final one of the spine is, is absolutely a focus-based, you know, because you look at this like, why would you have that in our, like, chase the North Star? Well, you're about, you've got the North Star, so, so why have that? Well, it's, it's a focus tenet. It's all about focus and, and direction. So it's not that those top tenets, the North Star, are aspirational, although they are. It's where do I set my sights? Where's, where am I setting my, this, this, this laser focus on? Yeah, sure. Ambitious student for life. Honor the vehicle, honor the traveler. Embrace the struggles. But what am I chasing? I love these words. I love these words. They've all been, they all, every single word here, man, it has a purpose. Chase the North Star. Because what that does, recalibrates you, bringing you back, bring you back to center, grounds you again. Where am I at? Because the above the lines should be, you know, in an inherent part of your DNA, developed or natural. We're all different, you know. And when I say developed or natural, when I say naturally, of course there's things that happen to us that we don't know about, too young at the time, 2, 3, 4, 5. My old man stealing undeniable belief in me. You can do anything in this world if you put your mind to it. That sort of stuff like that, that does land. Like, if you're a 5-year-old hearing that, it, you know, you could be going through the worst of the worst, and you might— I might not draw back and go, oh, I remember what Dad told me when I'm 5. But no, subconsciously, that's— that, that really helped the mongrel of Al get through some of those tough times. So chase the North Star is really about focus, focusing on the core things that matter above the line. They should become inherently part of your DNA. It is who I like. It is part of my makeup. Like, I can't not be ambitious. I will never fucking know it all, man. I'm hungry for more. I am here to leave this world exhausted through a channel of service, this servitude to uplift the lives of others around me. And you might do that in different ways. It doesn't have to be in any industry. It's not, you don't have to be Al. It's not even, you don't have to do a mission like HPF. You've all got purpose, mission, and gifts in this world. You know, so the above the line becomes like a given, you know, communication, of course, the no normal fuck, are you kidding me, mate? Couldn't think of anything worse than being normal. Embracing it all. It's like, of course, mate, it's part of the fucking recipe. You want to make choc chip cookies? All those choc chips are fucking struggles and failures. Think about that next time you look at a choc chip cookie, right? Part of the recipe, mate. 40%, what is it? 40%? Uh, shit. That's bad that I know that. It's the old fucking Coles cookies. They're horrible, man. We just love making our own now, actually, um, as a treat. What is it, 3 ingredients? Maybe 4. The spine is a developed behavioral mentality that you have both in yourself and in how you express inside of the cohort, the tribe, the team that you're in. But that last one, chase the North Star, is important because like, what am I shooting for? Because these, these are so hard in their simplicity. They really are. I'm chasing that. Cause you know what men like, and it's not that I'm repeating either, seek growth, love, and joy. Yeah, look, student for life, will you grow? Of course. Ambition, a desire to grow? Of course. So it's not like I'm doubling down or tripling down and duplicating. These tenets have their own place. However, yes, if you seek growth, love, and joy, there's a reasonable chance that you would carry some level of ambition and you would be open to learning something new. Hey, it could be growth of a muscle, so maybe it's just repeating the same thing. It's not always about learning something new. However, these top 5, man, they're the— that's the fucking key, mate. Like, they are— it's the North Star. It is the big capital juicy N on your compass. That's why I love that as we wrap up the spine, chasing the North Star. Because it is a focus point that directs you to, hey, there's 15 awesome, and you can remember them all, you can use them all, you can work on one a month, mate, your life will never be the same again. But also, this is the top 5. These are the ones. If I do nothing else but chase these, I will be successful. So that in itself is a calibrating, aligning tenet that has you focused on the core things that will lead to a wildly successful life. Why only have 5, Al? Why not have— sorry, why not just have 5 then? Why have the others? That's a really good question. But then when we look at this, I'm like, okay, well, be a man of your word, take ownership, perform with excellence, seek growth, love and joy, go all in and stay all in. Does that talk about some of these? Because the reason why there's 15 is there are, there are tripwires. There's all of us and we're all full of fucking mess as well. So our perspectives, our views, self-sabotaging moments, subconscious limiting beliefs, all these other things. So those 5 I can operate, but can I operate them, you know, goal, install and seek growth, love and joy, perform with excellence, take ownership, be a man of good. I can do that and not be genuine, right? Be you and show you. I can do that on my own. Never achieve greatness, bleed for your brothers. Well, if you're going to bleed for your brothers, well then you must have brothers to start with, right? People who are worth fighting for, fighting with, and helping. Student for life, over-communicate. Like, I could do all of those— seek growth, love, enjoy your goal, and still perform with excellence, take ownership, be a man of your word— but have very little communication. So there are flaws, holes, trips, temptations. Um, yeah, there are some real exposure points, blind spots, and risks that you carry if you don't build yourself into this process process, because I'll guarantee you one thing, without upholding those other tenets, it's impossible for you to fully vibrantly live through the top 5. You know, so it's, it's a, it's an interesting one, man. And I hope that makes, I don't know, this is, this has been a solid podcast. It's been a, it's been a juicy one, but I hope that makes sense for you as well. I've looked at this and gone, let's attack this from every fucking angle we can. And find all of the holes, all of the, all of the exposure points, the vulnerabilities. And it's not about overcompensating, but something like overcommunicate. Let's find all of the things that are going to connect with you, not only where you are now, but also the threats and temptations that can pull you back down and pull you away. Because we're all vulnerable, man. I'm vulnerable, like ambitious, always being ambitious is a given for me, but it's fucking work, mate. It's tiring as well. Student for life, that means you gotta swallow a bit of fucking pride and get up and try and learn something again. Serving persona, it's like, oh man, like, fuck, I've just given and given and given this week. I just wanna, you know, just fucking do something for myself for once. Denying norm was like, oh mate, you know, and that's something I've definitely learned. The harder you go, the more all in you go, the more in your discomfort you lean, the more pressure, the more responsibilities. So many responsibilities, so much more. You know that even with fatherhood, you look back at your life before your kids, it's like, what the fuck did I do with my time? How could I ever worry and stressed. I had an amazing body without even trying, and all I did was pursue something professionally and then think about myself and think about my girlfriend, who's now my wife. That's all Corinne and I did. I'd exercise and try and build a business or a career path, whether it's professional sports or the gyms. Corinne would work as a teacher. We'd come together, we'd eat food, we'd do our own stuff like watching TV shows. Like, it's so easy, mate. That's, that's so, so self-indulging. That was hard. The worry is to complain. So, so when, when we look at all of these men, it's, it's something that you're always susceptible. Embracing it all? Yeah, I have my pity parties as well. They're very, very rare, uh, and they are very, very short, but I still have them. I'm human. It's important. You need to process things. So I say, I say pity party is a psychological edge to help men not stay in the fucking pit and get their shit together. But ultimately, yes, you should be emotionally processing things things that happen inside of your life, whether that includes others or not, tears or not, pen and paper, words, audios to yourself, just nature, presence, stillness, all the above. So the reason why you can't just have 5 is because there are all these threats. And, and I wouldn't say it's insurance, but it's like they are protective mechanisms to keep you focused on the simple things, like the stepping stones of life. Because again, I promise you, if you embrace it Deny normal, over-communicate, have a servant persona, student for life. You're ambitious, you have a brotherhood, and it's worth bleeding for in that trust and transparency and clarity together. You be you and show you and your authenticity. You honor the vehicle and you honor the traveler inside of yourself, which builds an amazing level of gratitude. You don't need gratitude in these tenets, it's all layered throughout it, mate. And you're chasing the North Star. You have an incredibly successful chance to not only reach but uphold And that's why it's the North Star. That's why they're aspirational tenets, because there's something you aspire to uphold as frequently as you can for as long as you can. And all those other fucking 10 are the precursors to that and making that easier and making that achievable and a stepping stone to holding the highest. Be a man of your word. If you can't give it— if you— sorry, if you can't follow through and commit and do it, Don't give your fucking word. I did a podcast a while ago just talking about these 5. They were like 5 values, 5 aspirational values. We've converted them into action-based tenets, but be a man of your word. That's so simple. Do I miss the mark, drop the ball at times? Hey mate, yep, I'll get that to you. And then I get it to him the next day. It's like, hey Al, you're a piece of shit. You failed getting me that document. You're 12 hours late. Yeah, man, like I'm human. But be a man of your word. It matters. What could be frustrating through the eyes of your wife, your children, or others is you change your word based on how you feel and what's fucking convenient for you. So do commitments change? Sure. We've made decisions. We've made plenty of different decisions around HPF events, retreats, apps, all sorts of things. And we've, we've, we've committed, we've addressed, we've changed. But being a man of your word is a, is a, is a daily practice where you just want the percentages in your favor. And the percentage isn't necessarily volume. It also includes the weighting of each percentage. Like if I'm giving my word to someone like, hey man, like no rush out, but can you flick me, you know, the Lead Her Lighter, Keep Her Up resource document? I'm like, ah, sure, man. Yeah. Want to get some time off? I'll flick it your way. Yeah. Awesome. Like, great. Like he's, he's, he's not overly attached, invested, or committal to needing it right now in urgency. And, and likewise, sweet. We'll get there when we get there. I could do it within 5 minutes if it was convenient and worked, or it might take 5 fucking weeks. But giving your word, like in your marriage, as I've gone through and learned the hard way, that actually really matters. That means something. Giving your word to your children, that means something. So have the percentages in your favor, not necessarily through volume, although we give our word so many times every day, but more so in the weighting, the gravity of that word, of that decision, of that commitment. Like being a man of your word is about commitment, right? Not all commitments are equal. Um, but as Lee Dorflinger would say, how you do one thing is how you do everything. I still need to debate him on that. I think that's, uh, I think it's got its place. Um, but I think there's levels, there's levels. I won't, I won't go down that rabbit hole. There's definitely levels to it, right? So I will say, um, your mentality around commitment. So how you do one thing is how you do everything. Sure. Your mentality around the value of commitment. That should be your one thing with everything. But the gravity, the effect and impact of your commitments, yeah, they're not all equal. They're definitely not all measured equally. Why does that matter? You know what? This matters more for you than it does for them. Your wife, your kids, workers, colleagues, and, you know, um, employees, clients, society. Why? Well, you tell me what happens to you both actively and subconsciously if you keep changing your fucking word. Firstly, you become full of shit and a liar, but secondly, deep down, man, ah, can't even count on yourself. How could you expect people to count on you if you can't even depend on yourself? You can't even count on yourself. You keep giving your word and breaking it, or you give no word and you I was trying to think of some sea creature, but I guess what comes to mind is sloth. I'm trying to think of some sort of creature or animal that does the bare fucker minimum throughout the entirety of its life. It's probably a sloth, I guess. I don't know how they've survived. But yeah, so give no words. Awesome. How was your life? So it's really, it's dangerous. Men, this is more dangerous for you than it is for anyone else. Just remember that your impact and your leadership is a pure extension of you and who you are and the agreements that you have and uphold with yourself inside of yourself. The end. Replay that one and fucking write it down. It's so simple, man. Your level of leadership and behavioral influence and the extension of the impact and reach that you have with everything outside of— everything external outside of the interior shell of you and your being is a direct extension of your internal reality, your drivers, your belief systems, your relationship with yourself, what you've programmed internally, your subconscious, all of that. So giving your word and chopping and changing, yeah, sure, it'll lead to turbulence and the marriage will become shot to shit, but for you, man, ah, mate, doesn't matter what front you put up, you close that door, you're a fucking shell of a man, and you know it. That's tough. I'm not infallible. None of us are infallible or complete, and we never will be. However, play the percentages and win. Win those percentages. We all make mistakes. But be a man of your word. Be a man of your word. That's a big thing. Guys who reach out to HPF want to join, we're not here to press hard on you, man. It's just like, hey mate, like, you've reached out for a reason. Like, the spokes on your wheel are all fucked up. And whether it's your fault or not, it's your situation. So let's focus on that, not pointing the fucking finger. So what are you going to do about it? Because it's your situation, it's your life, so you need to take responsibility over. So what do we do here, man? Like, this isn't done for you, it's done with you. You got to take that step. We'll come the 90, but you got to come 10. So you're 100% in, you're all in, it's only 10%, right? We've got the fucking system there for you, fellas. We have a system for life. Like, that's pretty fucking clear. Not turning this into an ad, but that's pretty fucking clear. So when we look at men who reach out to us, there's obviously a lack of alignment in their integrity and how they've operated in life. We understand that. And you know the best way to fucking start turning that around is to be a fucking man of your word. You're either ready or you're not ready for HPF. You're either fucking in or you're not. So it's a commitment. You make the commitment, you follow through. The end. Like, it's such a— I gotta tell you, man, like, and this is what I've just been told and what's been shared with me, it's such a light— like, the load, the weight just lifts. These men, when they take that step, it's like, oh, fuck, mate, I can fucking breathe, mate. This fucking plate that was just crushing my chest and my lungs, I can actually breathe. It's like, yeah, of course. Yeah, how much pressure there is, fellas. You know how much pressure you're under by not upholding your word, by not making commitments and following through, by overcommitting on shit that doesn't fucking matter, and then becoming the fucking bellhop for your wife and your kids? That's Mate, no man could survive that, including me. Not a chance. That's why I won't do it. As much as I don't want my wife and my kids to suffer and I wish I could take away all the pain and do everything for them, all that sort of stuff, yeah, in an ideal fantasy land. No, not at all, man. They are their own adults too. My children will live their life as well, as will my wife, as will I, and do I, and I do. Be a man of your word. If you're not all in, that's sweet. Doesn't make you fucking weak. That's just a commitment you've made and there's always a price to pay. Both ways, both ways, mate. It's not, it's not, it could be consequences, but, and they are when they're bad, of course, but there's always a price to pay. You think it's been all fucking rainbows and smiles for me to get to where I am today? Oh man. Just like I have no idea on some of the hardships men have gone through, losing children and fucking marriages that didn't repair, right? Because mine did and all that sort of stuff. Yeah, you have no fucking idea as well in my life. So now that we're equalized at fucking ground zero, let's just appreciate and acknowledge that all great things require hard fucking work. Oh, people want to do what I, what I do. Yeah, but do you want to do what I fucking did to get here? Do you like winning or do you like the fucking idea of it? Like, do you want to win? So being many words, really, really simple. And it's hard. Why? Because it creates a more binary approach to things. It's just yes or no, including boundaries with the misses, conflict, friction. No, I can't do that anymore. I'm sorry. No, not today. Not, oh yeah, maybe I'll see what I do. I'll work it through. No, no, no. Fuck that, man. Get off the fence. It's a spiky fence. Your fucking ass is bleeding. Get off it. So there's always a price to pay, man. Holy fuck, I've bled for this, man. This mission. Bled for this. But it's worth it. Like, I love what I do, man. This has felt like a calling for me. And I just, I'm here to serve. There's nothing that lights me up more than seeing fathers get their power back.. And then the byproduct is the family nucleus. Wow. It just thrives. It's a beautiful thing. And it's not my results. It's yours. It's your reward. It's your win. But wow. To see these pictures of these, these, these beautiful experiences, the vibrancy in the man's face again, his children happy. It's like, oh man, he's creating something from nothing. And I had the honor to play a small part in that. Maybe he wouldn't have been on that little bike ride where his daughter finally learned how to ride the bike without training wheels. And he's posted a photo and shared it in the community. I'm like, oh, that's fucking awesome, man. Win. Like, that's not because of me, but oh fuck, how awesome I got to play a part in that. That's sick. Let's keep going. But there's always a price to pay. Always, always, man. But that price for me has been fucking worth it. The discipline, the sacrifice. Yeah, do it all again, without a doubt. Next one, take ownership. Ownership and responsibility, interesting things. Each to their own on the definition, but for me, what I see ownership as is what I see ownership as is doing something about the things that you're responsible for in life. Yeah, take ownership isn't, I've seen this before with mates or footy player, mates in footy, sorry, outside of school, inside of school. I've seen this with mates or just people in general over the years. Put their hand up. Yep. No, fuck, it's my fault. It's my fault. Yeah, no, that one's on me. Yeah, nah, fuck, mate, I take ownership for that. I'm like, well, hang on a minute. Sorry. Like admitting you fucked something up and taking ownership is a bit different. Like, and, and you, Bill, fuck, I'm hitting the Bills again. Sorry, Bill. I'm lifting Bill up and then breaking him down. What do they call it? Build, break, build or some shit. There's some sort of tactic for it, I'm sure. But hey, Bill, mate, don't mean to be rude here, but you keep putting your fucking hand up for the same thing, mate. And the same thing keeps happening. Is that, is that not sure, Bill? Is that actually taking ownership, mate? Or what's, help me understand. I'm a bit confused. So, so fellas, take ownership is, hey, what can I do about it directly and immediately in impacting the things that I'm responsible for that also have a ripple effect to others around me? So take ownership could include your personal discipline routine with health, nutrition, training, walking, exercise, creating space, taking time out. Absolutely. That's going to have a great effect. On other people, but also taking ownership comes down to the decisions you need to make for others. Because I need to make decisions for my wife, 100%, whether it's dinner or fucking activities with the children, how we coordinate the calendar for the year in sports. Just making decisions that you're involved in that require a leader. That's what take ownership is. That's not just taking ownership for the fuck-ups, which is an absolute given. You put your hand up, man, I've made more mistakes than anyone else in HPF, 100%. Like in terms of the team, like the coaches, the VAs, like I've fucked up more than anyone else, mate. 100%. Failed the most. Michael Jordan missed over 9,000 shots. That's why I'm successful. Like that's, you know, enough said. How quickly can you turn it around? As Coach Ed would say, close the loop onto the next, close the loop on the next. Yeah, actually that was a bad decision. We fucked that up. Let's veer back left. Before it becomes catastrophic. Yeah, let's just, let's get back on track. Hey, that was awesome, let's dig deeper. That was awesome, let's dig deeper. Let's go again, let's go again. Ah, nah, that decision was fucked. Okay, veer left, veer right. 100%, man. Like, it's, it's taking ownership is without a doubt doing something with the responsibility in which you hold in certain areas, including like admittance is like one step, acknowledgement, awareness. That is like, it's like That's the first baby step, mate. That's not taking ownership. Our version anyway is this might be a, um, this might be a jacked version of the tenets, but why fucking not, mate? Yeah. Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you want to elevate these and hold them as high as possible? Taking ownership is a beautiful thing. Because it also gives you power and control to do something about the situation, your life, others. That's a— it's not ego for me. That's a real— that's an incredible sense of importance. Like, I feel important when I can help another person in their life. That's why I do what I do, man. I might not be directly coaching anymore with squads and whatnot, but I— that's why I love— I live through the coaches, man. Boys send me screenshots, show me all the wins for the week. Wow, there's another 50 lazy. Fuck me, I can't keep up and put them on the stories. I get lazy and then I just fucking throw about 30 in a row on Facebook. I'm like, ah, man, keep, keep, you know, not to be arrogant, but yeah, just gotta fucking feed, feed social media something. Hey, here's a heapload of wins again. I can't keep up. We've got, I need to check, I'd have to check my hard drive. Be coming close to a terabyte, I'd say, of testimonials and screenshots. Obviously a lot of that goes into videos. I mean, a screenshot isn't a lot. What is it like, I don't know, 4 to 30 megabytes? But yeah, man, we got a lot. We got a lot. I can't keep up. Taking ownership is a beautiful thing because it gives you control to do something about it. That brings importance, coming back to my point. You do genuinely feel important and there's nothing wrong with that, man. It's not allowing other people to define your life and define your identity and who you are,, but you doing something about it, of course, feels good. Even solving a problem. In fact, some of you over-index too fucking hard on that, which is why you spend all your time at work and you feel important, but you're not fixing the bigger problems, which then become chaos. And so the avalanche begins and it cannot be stopped. Take ownership, perform with excellence. The third out of the five North Stars. We're nearly there, men. What a session. Wow. What a session. I truly hope, I know I say, I say I hope this serves you well on probably all my fucking podcasts, but I truly hope something lands for you with these and, and just one of them and not even nail it. Just, just do one of them. Your life will change. And then that opens up doors that you don't know exist. Or it's not just people, experiences, opportunities. Another chance, and then you're building real traction. Perform with excellence. Perform. Perform. Doing, operating, producing with excellence. Excellence is a standard. It's a type of standard. So when we say average, people could say, yeah, I'm just average, I'm just standard. So standard's an interesting word because the word in itself can definitely be implied or interpreted as on the level, average. But standards vary. There's phenomenal standards, which we would say excellence. Like, when you think about someone doing actions, you can say perfect and whatnot, but it's like, hey man, that fucking— that dude performs at excellence. Like, that athlete, wow, you know, flawless here, a couple of mistakes there, perfect on that one, that one there was really solid across the board. Those 4 set pieces they did on that, you know, gymnastics or some other event, man, fucking, that was, that was excellence. That was excellence. Watching someone in action. And then there's piss-poor standards, right? So perform with excellence is a mentality on upholding the highest possible quality of output you can. Just like these podcasts. Now these light me up, but also, I mean, it's bad. It fucking takes, takes a bit out of me, man. Like, I put everything into them and always looking. If you look from the first episode to now, to continually change, grow, evolve, of course it's part of the game, uh, which, yeah, I'd like to think I have. Hard, hard to listen to the early podcasts. Not that I'm, not that I'm that narcissistic that I go and fucking listen to them all. In fact, I don't listen to too many at all, to be fair. I just continually live the lessons through the men in HPF., and they remind me plenty. I love it. Perform with excellence. It's such a beautiful standard and a reminder. It's why these are aspirational. That's why you chase North Star. It's why you chase the North Star in the spine, that last one. Chase the North Star. Hey, as much as you can, as best as you can, be a fucking man of your word wherever you can. Anytime there's an opportunity that involves you, and legitimately, it's not just own every fucking flaw, fault, and error in the world. No, no, that's not what this is about. But yes, we can, man, and it matters. Take ownership. Hey, and how you operate today, whether it's with the kids, even special time, like, yeah, okay, cool, special time, like, it might be low intensity, fun, playful, so maybe you might not apply it as much, but yeah, excellence is the benchmark. Excellence is a playful panda father, right? It's not just excellence in fucking crunching numbers at work. Perform with excellence. Aspirational, aspirational tenets. I want to be a man of my word as much as I can, take ownership wherever I can to redirect and influence and lead those around me, perform at the highest fucking standard as much as I can. And I also want to seek growth, love, and joy. I want to seek that out. Sure, it's important to be ambitious. I've got a desire and drive for more. Sure, I'm a student for life. I'm learning things. But if you're not, if you're not applying both of those to fucking grow properly within your lane, your channel, your career path, your family dynamics, your physical health and well-being, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, then it's a fucking waste. That's why it's not duplicated. It's seek growth. Use everything you've got— your mentality, your tools, your experience— and these tenets to go hunt some fucking growth somewhere, somewhere that matters for you. But also seek love and joy. You know, the fourth, the, the fourth tenet tenet, uh, this tenet here, it's, uh, one of the most popular inside HPF. You wonder why. It's too often your men just break your fucking backs for decades and there is no love and joy in your life anymore. It's so fresh and appealing when you read that. So what I love about these tenets is they're also quite biased to your position in life and where you need the most work, which surely you've caught on by now and reflected through this podcast on areas that apply to you more than others. But yeah, man, seek, seek. It's like, I remember seeing that with, uh, Dean Graziosi. I don't know all the stuff he does, but just saw a video of him being interviewed and he's done a lot of good things, I think, with Tony Robbins. But he just looks blank at the camera and says, success will not come looking for you. Success will not come and find you. You need to go find it. So I just love that word seek because that is an active word of you looking, pursuing, and moving towards and finding growth, love, and joy in your life. Look, happiness is a state, something you can set, sure, but love and joy aren't just feelings, you know. They're action-based, and they, they are reciprocal more often than not. Like, I get joy— so what I'm saying is, I get joy by seeing my daughter just laugh. My little girl, how awesome. I've done nothing. I've just observed, and she's in my life. How beautiful. So seek growth, love, and joy like chasing North Star in a way, is a blend of not only your focal point in life on your family, your business, your place of work. Like HPF always has like, mate, fuck, growing pains. It's incredible. So just stop and breathe and just look at some of the posts of these men, the shares and the success just for this week and be like, wow, how awesome is that? I get to do that. You know, it's a, it's a, um, ah, shoot. Sorry not to go on a tangent, guys, but I'll just see if I can bring this up. It was something that I was talking to Adam Ads. He's been on a few. Episodes, uh, our COO. And, um, I had a one-liner that I wrote. I definitely want to bring it up. I don't want to do it on— I don't want to do it on the, uh, on, on a, uh, Al's Insights. Um, but yeah, yep, I'll find that. And, um, where is it? Here it is. Actually, it wasn't— sorry, with Adam was, uh, with Ronnie Clemo. Big shout out to to Rhiney, our 2024 High Performance Father of the Year winner. Be a responsible adult. I don't remember what we're talking about. I think we're talking about life in general and just, you know, not always trying to just, yeah, I'll just grind for the next 20 years and then I'll have it. That's right. He was giving me examples because he's in financial planning on, you know, he just, he's got a different model. Like, I don't want people to be 70 and have all this money so they can just go to the cafe and have more fucking cappuccinos. I want them to to find that sweet spot out where they can live now. And I really love that. And I wrote this down. I said, yeah, man, 100%. I said, you want to be a— I said, but you can't be reckless. I've been reckless in the past for sure with money and maturity around investing. I said, you want to be a responsible adult who's a child at heart. Like, it's all the simple things. It's always the simple things, isn't it? So, man, seeking growth, love, and joy, you know, it's— yeah, Don't let go of that. Be a child at heart with some things. Like, I don't feel bad, and you know, obviously I'd like to think that I'm not wasting your time here. There's nearly 300 episodes. That's a lot of hours. So I fucking love you guys for giving back to yourself and giving me the opportunity to be that vessel for you. I really do. Like, I, you know, I'm really grateful. Thank you, man. You know, I don't feel uncomfortable saying, hey, if I go for a walk and I see this crazy trail of ants along this tree, I'm genuinely a curious child who's intrigued. I'm like, this fucking— look at these ants, man. These fucking weapons all the way up this tree. Are they going around? They go in that hole and down the ground. And man, there's about 40 there just fucking nailing that cockroach there. That— he's fucked. He's gone. And it's like, it just— there's so much. There is— there's so much life if you bring the simplicity of the heart of a child There's so much in life that can bring you love and joy. And I don't feel comfortable sharing that with you, man. If you think that's weak, well, fucking good for you, mate. Like, it's— I can be the Viking. You want me to be Viking? You want me to be Panda? I can be wherever the fuck you want. But at heart, man, at the core, seek growth, love, and joy. We're kind of like a child. They can't wait to grow. They keep going and growing, walking, running, even academia in school, sports, playing, getting better at fucking handball. Like, they— Their whole life is about growth, and you see that. They want to keep dressing, they want to dress more, they want to either put makeup on or wear earrings that mum has on. And, you know, like, it's like they want to be adults, so they're coming in here doing, pretending to do podcasts. They bloody just destroying this microphone. I hope it's still working all right, but over the next 3 months I might need a new one. But yeah, they're jumping in trying to be daddy and do podcasts. Why is that absent from your life? Like, it's what, who is it? There's someone somewhere who just said to you, hey, grow up. It's like, yeah, I get that. But it's like, no, you be responsible adult. Sure. But be a child at heart. Seek growth, love, and joy. There's so much love and joy around men. And that's hard to hear. You're suffering, you're struggling, you're in challenging positions. You're not being appreciated for your efforts. You put so much. In. You put so much hard work in. Like, we don't have fucking duds and victims listening to this podcast, surely not. You work hard, you push hard. You know, if we do, then I don't know why you're here, because I'm sure the message wouldn't resonate with you. You probably would feel, um, insulted about 483,000 times by now from me and, and this podcast. But you know, like, it's, it's something that's right there for you, man. No matter what you're going through, no matter how hard it is, it's always right there. It's always right there. The final one, go all in and stay all in. So once you join HPF, that's it, mate. You have to fucking stay for the next 40 years or else. Go all in and stay all in on yourself, your life, what's possible for you. If we become that through the podcast, through one season, through 12 seasons of HPF, through the Marriage Fucking Playbook. Awesome. Thank you for the gift to serve, no matter how little or how long, how small or how big. Amazing. Unreal. So happy for you. It's go all in and stay all in on who you can become, the next version of yourself, what that looks like, the tools required, the accountability you know you fucking need, the people around you in your corner, the consistent approach of your vision, shooting, casting that net off into the future, drawing it back in this year, this quarter, this month, this week today, what that looks like. And knowing you're going to miss, knowing you're going to fuck it up, knowing the other 14 tennis, no matter how powerful they are, no matter how much you remember off by heart, life will pull you away. It will pull you off track. It's why you need to keep realigning in yourself, in your life, in this one fucking shot that you have. You must keep realigning, not because you're misaligned, but because you get pulled off your alignment, your track, your mountain, your path by life itself. Even with those you love, your wife, your children, your workers and colleagues, your clients, the service, all of it. The injury that happened at training, but I went to the gym, good intentions, I want to be fit, now I fucked my leg, I'm out for 3 weeks. Yes. Keep fucking turning up. Like it's one thing that I, again, I look at this and there's no holes, right? But you want to build the character mentality to be unfucking stoppable. That's perseverance. Persistence with patience. I want it. I want to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to win today. And if I don't, well, I'll do it again, right? Persistence. I fucking want it. Give it to me. Let me go. Let's rip in. Patience. If I don't get it right now, I'm going to go again, right? Tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow's the day. All right. I'll try again. But tomorrow's the day after you're fucking exhausted today. You go all in. Everyone goes all in. That's easy. Man, that's fucking easy. Anyone can go all in on something. But what happens at the 18% mark? At the 34% mark when you're so invested, you've just been punched in the fucking face time and time again, right? Oh yeah. No head noises at the start. Once you step past that little bit of fear or uncertainty, nah, man, that's when you're 30% in. That's when you invested 10, 50, 500 grand, 2 million. Like that's when shit gets fucking real, but you haven't got the result yet. You haven't got the outcome yet. You invest in the relationship, right? You get married, you have a couple of kids. Now you're 40% in, right? I've been with my wife for 12 years. 12 years with my wife. I've got 2 little kids, 2 little girls. And now it's like, fuck, things are getting real rocky. Yeah, but you've got another 40 years to live. You're only at the 40% mark, mate. That's when shit gets hard. My wife won't go all in. Yeah, well, how have you gone all in in fucking family, self, and service? You haven't. So it's not your fault. It's not her fault, but she needs you to lead her. So let's get to fucking work, recalibrate your leadership, and then move to greener pastures. But guess what? You might have a rocky 3 to 24 months. Welcome to staying all in. All right, the second piece. Fellas, anyone can start something. Anyone can go all in, but can you stay all in? And sometimes maybe it's not the marriage. Maybe it's not meant to be, but can you stay all in on your vision, your ideal, on your life, your level of leadership, the things that you can control that sure are packaged with the experiences that you desire with your children, your wife, maybe ex-wife now, maybe new wife now. Of course, the vision includes others, but inside of that vision, the staying all in is empowered through you and yourself and what you need to do in what you can control to continually build and reframe your leadership, re-sculpt the clay, rebuild, build new levels, new stories, brick by fucking brick. That's what staying all in looks like. Like you'd say, oh mate, HPF should have died so many fucking times. So many times. Stayed all in. Gonna find a way. Do whatever it takes. You know, I have some control, sure, but also I don't. Like, it's a fucking crazy game. Same in marriage. Same in parenthood. There's no guarantees. No guarantees of your children, their health and wellbeing. Experiences they face. You just don't know. I don't think it was a friend, but it was a friend of a friend. Young, clubbing, all that sort of stuff. Um, I don't think Crin directly knew her, but someone around our age in the time took a pill one night and fucking died. People do that shit every day and it gets them high. I don't even know what a pill is, but it's some sort of drug, I think, or a party drug. But I don't even know what's in it, sorry, but I'm aware of them. But yeah, there you go. The fucking lights out. Shit, man. I'm going to spend a session talking about the concept of time, but yeah, like one shot, one life. You go all in and you fucking stay all in. You go all in on the tenets knowing you will fail. That's, that's the caveat. Like I'm going to go all in in and stay all in, knowing that I'm gonna fail, knowing I'm gonna miss the mark, knowing I'm gonna be judged, criticized, fuck shit up, get into trouble, have to think differently, feel alone, have to figure out a way, try and shoulder the burden. All these other things, even in HPF, even out HPF, I know it, man. It's fucking coming. Yeah, I'm not living in these men's houses. I'm not doing their fucking weights for them. I'm not speaking to their wife and kids for them. Knowing, knowing how much you're gonna fuck it up still, you go all in, you stay all in on your pursuit, your pursuit of this amazing life that you can build and create. That's the happiness there, man. Happiness is always found in growth. Holy shit, nothing makes you feel better. Nothing makes you happier. Nothing makes you feel more accomplished imagine, imagine being, um, well, let's talk footy, right? Imagine being the Brisbane Broncos and you go through the whole season and say, hey, because you guys won last season, this year every other team only has 10 players on the field. You guys get 13. First week would be like, well, this is fucking stupid, but okay, let's go. Let's have a great, let's have a great time. 100-nil, right? Well, they get a try. Go, 100 to 4. Tell you now, man, by week 3, not even 26, let alone the finals and champ, they wouldn't even want to hold the trophy up. They'd be like, this is fucking— this is it. Why are we even here? Of course we won. It wasn't worth shit. That's the same with life. These tenets are here to serve you, man. The code of the complete man. It, it really does that. And so look, yeah, I said earlier, I'm not a complete man. Neither are you. And maybe we'll never be complete, but the code of the complete man is that. Like, that is the code of the complete man. What our role, what our opportunity is. Like, what our gift is, is to try and live that code. So yes, it's the code of the complete man, but no one's a complete man because no one can ever live that code 100%. But how close can I get, man? You get in the 80s. If you're executing these tenets 80% of the time, you're, you're a 1%er, mate. No, you're, you're 80%, 4 out of 5. You're a 1%er, mate. No one would come close. What if you crept into the 90s? Shit. What if you hit like 90, 94? What if you're like 97%? Can you imagine? If you operated and upheld this code 97% of the time, embracing the struggles, denying normal, over-communicating, serving personas, student for life, ambitious, bleeding for your brothers, being you and showing you, honor the vehicle, honor the traveler, chasing the North Star, being a man of your word, taking ownership, performing with excellence. Seeking growth, love, and joy going on 97% of the time. Fuck, mate. I will say like that the stay all in, that has been, that is something that has been the 400 for me. But then there's other areas. Yeah, cool. Seek growth, love, and joy. Maybe I didn't leave. Maybe I've not been seeking love and joy. It's been a pretty big couple of seasons with building HPF lately, but also that's definitely come screaming back into my life with Florence. Little Flossie, mate, so awesome. She's such a gift. Such a gift. Little cranky pants. That would be insane. 97% of the time. So this is the code of the complete man. You operate, when you operate all of these, you are the complete man, but how long can you stay there? How many times can you hit it? And that's the gift and the challenge. We love that as men, right? That makes it worthwhile. To win that premiership, to hold that trophy, and then go back to back and be champions, building a real dynasty in your life. Think about that. There's so many people around me that I don't, you know, don't have time to interact with. Like, there's so many people around me that I know or know of, school, other things. I already know where their life's going, man. It's already fucking written. There's always a choice to change it, but if nothing changes, ah, it's already written. It's like, mate, too fucking little, too late, man. Like that episode I did with Harding, Facing Fear or Regret: The Day a Man Stops Drifting. That was a beautiful episode with you, man. It's like, it's, it's when it's gone, it's gone, man. And that's so hard because the gone hasn't come yet. So I get it, it's really hard for you to fucking take that on board. And I get it too, even in this space I still get distracted, risk of drifting, being tempted, all that sort of shit, to pull away from my true purpose and cause. But yeah, like, when it's gone, it's gone. There's no do-overs. Like, your children will remember you, they will talk about you, and there are no do-overs on the stories they tell. So rip in, men. Wow, what a session. Blessed to be serving you all. And the show goes on. We will never fucking stop being the voice and the vehicle for you men to tap into and apply with tangible, valuable insights, not just philosophies, and action steps that can carve out the life that you desire for yourself and your family. They are the HPF tenets. But more than that, just remove hype from his father for a second. They are the tenets that can be lived as a code for you to become a phenomenal leader and man in this life, to leave a lasting, a lasting impact and footprint on people you'll never even meet. Wow, what a time to be alive. Awesome stuff. Thank you, man. I'll see you on the next one. Cheers. If this was an episode that really resonated with you, I thank you for giving the time and effort and energy to yourself, but also to yourself through the vessel and the vehicle of High Performance Father. We've got a lot of wives listening to these now. If they don't mind the occasional Left Bomb. Um, you know, I appreciate all of you for spreading the message. And if there's one thing I've got to ask, I'd love it if you could just give us a 5-star review or spread the love, share this message with those who you know need to listen to this. And there are a lot of people— as men, we're proud, we're not too open to go, hey, I'm hurting, I need help, and putting our hand up. But sometimes just a subtle way in their own privacy, whether in the car or the comfort of their own home, it really works when you just send a little link through. Hey Bill, how Hey Bob, hey James, look, I think you might enjoy this. I'm just gonna leave it there. You do with it what you will, but you know, hit this link, man. Just listen to one or two episodes in High Performance Father and Alan, see what he has to say. I'm telling you, man, that is one of the greatest ways that you can impact. And some of those men out there you think are okay, you're saving lives. You really are. I've seen this so many times where you just putting that little subtle message, putting the feelers out there, the amount of men, suicide attempts, title or not, the amount of men who are on the brink of breaking down, it is phenomenal, the ripple effect. This isn't my legacy, this is our legacy that we have together by spreading this message and living and breathing the message as well. So thank you, appreciate you. Again, hope you enjoyed this episode, but by all means share this with someone who, in your gut instincts, in your intuition, you know, you're like, I think they need this, I think they should listen to this. Please, mate, don't hesitate with that. Pull the trigger, make that decision, send it out to them, and you'll be amazed at what you get back. Thank you again, and I'll see you soon.