37. The REAL Magic Mike

Awesome, Rod. Ladies and gentlemen. Well, mostly gentlemen fathers listening. This is Real Dad Movement podcast. Welcome. My name's Al, but you probably already know that I got Mike with me today. Sir, welcome. Mike's been a member of RDM for, I'd say nine months. Yeah, about nine months now. And those listening, not watching, Mike is joining me in the office here. RDM headquarters. We've had, we had one training session, no, a couple of training sessions, catch ups and whatnot. But mate, welcome to the show. The first thing I actually want to ask, just touching on that and saying that, what's it like being part of an online program as opposed to just going, getting someone to do PT with you every day?

Ah, man, it's really good. I love the contact. That's been really good. Yeah. Rather than someone going out and flogging him all the time on the personal training. Yeah, it's been unreal.

It's really interesting because when I look at a story inside of my head, a lot of the times before, I used to laugh at online coaches and whatnot, but I can see why I did, man, because a lot of people out there, even if you've got abs and 50,000 followers, they do sweet fuck all when it comes actually to delivering a program properly. But what we do, it's not about, like you said, flogging or raising Your heart rate 10 beats a minute. Some people might get a bit confused with the online format of using technology. I mean, we are in 2020. But how have you found this compared to, say, someone did go and do training in terms of the different facets of what we do?

I think just because it covers everything like nutrition and mentally and also the training, everyone helps you out with that. But it's just the complete package. Instead of going out with a personal trainer and like doing a few sessions and RDM follows you the whole way through.

That's the difference. And look, we'll dive into Mike's life. There's just something interesting I just wanted to touch on with online coaching. I even don't like that term, man. I really don't. Online coach. I've had life coach before, which for me is laughable only because of the standards the industry sets. There's maybe there isn't a tag where we're going, Mike, who knows? But I've brought Mike on today, guys, just to have a real good chat about his story. I love this. We've got several dads now who've been part of our podcast. And Mike, just like the other fathers, man, I'd love to get a bit of insights into yourself, your background, a bit of your story before you become a dad. That's what this is about.

Real.

I don't really give a fuck about celebrities or that sort of stuff at all. Mike is our celebrity. The champions lost bloody 30 kilos and counting with. With some tough challenges, man, that have thrown some spanners in the works as I guess, everyone's life. But it's always harder when it hits your kids, man, isn't it?

Yeah, definitely.

But before we sort of get to that, I guess and father would talk to us, mate, about Mike, bit of background on yourself and where you from, whatnot.

Okay, man. So I'm 30, I've got two kids, I've got a little girl, she is seven years old. And I've got a son, he's six. And I started off with RDM, I think in April because before that I just started putting on a whole heap of weight. I was getting really lazy with my meal choices, not exercising enough, working a lot, but not investing anything into myself. And had a bit of a marriage breakdown and then just got to a point where I jumped on the scales and I was 164 kilos at the start. And I just had this moment where I'm like, I've got to do something about it. I was out playing with the kids in the park and I realized when I was playing with my little bloke, I couldn't keep up with him. I was absolutely struggling. That kind of like a light bulb moment kind of hit me. And yeah, I jumped on to jumped on the Facebook and this just happened to be one of the ads that I've seen and for whatever reason, it cut right through to me and I thought this, this would be perfect for me. And yeah, I jumped on and just got stuck into everything and with the structure, the routine, the eating properly, the training, three times a week, using the app, logging in to do all the forms and everything like that. So people were always checking where I was up to. Yeah, I just started losing a whole.

Heap of weight just before we continue that. And it's awesome that you're sharing that, mate. But I'm curious, man. It's not to relive things in the past, but how did it make you feel knowing you couldn't keep up with.

Your young bloke, mate? Absolutely devastating. Almost to the point of banging in tears. When I was, when I was at that park, it just hit me at that time thinking, oh, you know, I should be a whole lot better Than what I am, you know. Yeah. Extremely disappointed with myself and. Yeah, just a terrible feeling, you know.

I wonder if a lot of people have that feeling that they either don't admit or maybe they're oblivious to it. Who knows, man? What led to that stage, though? Mike, I'm curious before we dive into where you are now and obviously what lays ahead, because you've done some awesome things, man. Like, what led to that? Was it fatherhood? Like, what were you like before you became a dad and what was the catalyst sort of thing that you felt started to bring you unstuck?

I think I've always been pretty big kind of guy, but, yeah, then I got the kids and I think it was more like financially driven that I wanted to work all the time and provide for the kids and make money, but I wasn't providing any other ways like a dad should, you know?

Common trap, man. Yeah. A lot of fathers self guilty. It's very easy to fall into.

Yeah.

That it's because it's hard work. But it's also. Yeah, it is simple, isn't it? Because, like, oh, if I just do all this, then I'm providing for the family. Here we go. He's more money. I'm doing my job.

Exactly.

Sort of thing. Not to cast anyone with that tag or paint anyone with that brush, but I felt that. Sure. What do you do for it?

I'm a butcher. Yeah.

What's it called again? We'll give them a shout. I actually get my beat from this butcher as well because they do the good stuff. But it's in Hornsby, isn't it?

Yeah, it's Tender Gourmet Butchery in Hornsby, guys.

That's right, because Mike lives up here on the coast near me, but he does the deliveries for us on Fridays every few weeks. But it's good quality. That's important and that's something that I guess I wouldn't mind peppering around as well. In your experience on food and how that plays a role with yourself, with your energy and what you've done since you started to make the shift.

Yeah, just. I used to eat a lot of takeaway, a lot of fast, a lot of easy things. But just since I've been working on the nutrition, getting like, nice, good quality, especially with the meat. Good quality cuts, nice lean protein and yeah, it's been working really well.

It's crazy, man, because I thought, you know, it's. This isn't a plug for meat. If you're a vegan. Good on you. It's really Funny because for me, I didn't think there was much of a difference. So I started having grass fed meat and proper cuts and whatnot. And oh man, world's. Apart from regular like coles or woolies or whatnot.

Oh yeah, definitely. There's a few ways you can go and put butchery. You can get, you know, get everything nice and cheap and be a wholesaler and just like flog the stuff out. But at our shop, we want the best, the best of the best, so we pay the price for it. And yeah, we make really nice things. We love, absolutely love what we're doing. We just won a big competition for sausages. We're at the best sausages in Sydney. Just. Yeah, everything we do, very, very passionate about.

It's a phenomenal shop, man. And the reasons why I'm talking about this, and we're spending a minute or two on this is flying into, I guess the next piece with rdm. But you had the realization at the park, you saw my ad, you tell me if fighting cut through with that message or if we were $5 a week, I don't know, what would you think about it?

I wouldn't have done it 100%. See, the thing is, when you like similar ads like yours, you get a whole heap of the same thing with the way Facebook algorithms work. So all of a sudden you're looking at your ads and then another 50 arrive of doing similar but different ways. And I looked through most of them, but all of the ads that I was looking at just did not cut through to me. Just. Yeah, it was a weird feeling like watching the ad. And then I went back and started watching some of your videos and thinking, I've got to jump on this now. This is exactly what I need. And you know, turns out it was.

It's. It's something that I'm curious. I've obviously never been on the other side.

Yeah, like, what's.

What's going through? This is. This is actually really interesting, man. Like, what's going through your head? You see an ad. I know what the process is like on my end, but from your end and the other dads, it's a phenomenal group we've got here, man. And that's what I pride myself on, the process. We're not looking for cowboys. Things aren't free. I give all this stuff away for free. Go on my YouTube, even adding value with podcasts. Take it all. There's way more than that. It's gone through your head when you see this stuff. Because I don't really see many of the other ads. I see other ads for people targeting me and ads about cats for some reason.

But yeah, I think just really specific targeting the dads. And, you know, it's not a, like, get lose weight quick kind of fast scheme. You know, do all these things and you'll, you know, you'll be happy in a week. It's like a long term, kind of like changing mentally. Because I think in one of the ads you said, you know, all this stuff is available and all this knowledge is available to you. You kind of know what you've got to do. Why aren't you doing it? And that was like. That was the moment. Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna put my hand up and I need help.

What was going through your head when we're on the phone?

I was thinking, yeah, 100%. This is for me, that like, kind of conviction the whole way through. And yeah, from, from the chat, you know, I was a little bit like the ad. You don't know how it's gonna go down. But yeah, jumping on the phone, thought you'd like, no nonsense, kind of, this is the way it is. And I thought that's gonna be perfect for me for sure.

I remember all our calls. I remember our call. Yeah, that's funny. I remember all of them. I remember reading a book called. I think it's called Tribes actually by Seth Godin. They talk about only having the capacity to, I think, remember like 150 people closely, within reason, which for me is a lot more. But combining with the gym and whatnot. But not that I have that issue anymore, mate, but when I look at that, it's really funny because I actually remember every single phone call, every single father, even the ones who don't come on board, but then they come back later on and mate, walk us through it. Like, what would have been if we hung up the phone and nothing happened? What would have happened to your life if you didn't change?

I think I would still be doing the same thing. I'd still be in the same pattern. I'd still, like, try. And there were little bits and pieces where I'd lose weight, I'd lose five kilos or something like that. And then just mentally I wouldn't have that conviction. I'd be straight back onto it again, just eating the loose foods and not doing the exercise and not having any accountability. I think that was the biggest thing for me was the accountability. Just having someone check up on you and go through it with you. Actually probably better than that. Was when we sat down for the meeting at the coffee club around the corner. And the thing I liked the most about it was on all these other weight loss and exercise type things that were popping up on my Facebook, they had a plan. It was like one size fits all. But I remember sitting down and talking to you and saying, well, my traditional day, it doesn't start like everyone else's. I'm up, you know, 4:30 in the morning every morning and going to work, work extremely long hours. So you sat down and went through, you know, covered your meals and okay, you should have this here. This is not going to work for you because you're, you know, you're still at work. This is when you should train and also around the kids, having the kids as well. So that was good.

It's a funny thing because I look at that and yes, there's some similarities when it comes to human beings and how we, you know, respond to proteins, carbs and fats. But it's like, I don't know. Why would you give everyone the same thing? Doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, there's foundations, of course. I mean, what we're doing. And just to be clear with our listeners, it's really, it's really awesome to hear like, Mike's perspective. I don't need to push RDM or plug it or sell it. I'm definitely never going to sell here. It's very easy, very, very straightforward. For me, it's when I want to reach the people I know how, but. And then they come to me because they're fed income and genuine and committed. Just like the process you went through. Mike, it's great. Creates an amazing culture and community and saves me time, which is very valuable being a dad, but man, you've lost 30 kilos up to date and talk us through it, man. How's that changed what you do, how you see yourself and what you can do with your kids?

Just the biggest thing is the energy levels and the fitness. Kind of started off that I was just 100% focused on the weight. That's the only goal I had in my head. But just, yeah, the fitness, the energy, being able to run around with them. A couple of weeks ago, I went and did a ninja warrior style obstacle course and think back. And sitting in the coffee club in April last year, there is no chance that I thought I'd be ever doing anything like that. That was awesome. But yeah, just mentally as well. Every morning I wake up and the first thing I do is jump on the scales because I'm watching all the time. Yeah. And just everything I'm doing kind of thing.

What goes through your thoughts, like when you're standing there, whether it's brushing your teeth, getting a shower, so you look in the mirror and you've come from that man to where you are now and you're progressing. We'll talk about what's ahead for you. But hey man, what goes through your.

Mind, it's a complete. And you talked about it at the start, like changing your mindset. And to be fair, I didn't really completely understand what that meant, but it is. I wouldn't think about anything when I'd wake up in the morning and just put on the shoes and go to work and do what I have to do. But every single morning you wake up now it's like a routine. You jump on the scales, you have a look at what you need to do for the day and talk about like winning and stuff like that. And that's what you do. I think about, okay, what am I going to do to get across the line today? That's every day. It's not like this big end goal thing is the only thing I'm focused on. You break it up into every single day.

That's a great point, man. For me it's. What's the alternative? I must win at all costs. And it's got nothing to do when people think of the word win with a tangible result against someone else to get some shitty ass medal in a sport. It's life, man. That's all. There's only one day, isn't it? There's just one day. You just need to win that one day. You just rinse and repeat. We had the luxury of catching up in person like we are now. There's a lot of dads that haven't. I mean we go up and down the coast, which is awesome. Haven't been to Perth yet. Or Tasmania, but we'll get there. Or South Australia, but see the dads there. But it's really interesting when you talk about that point. I'd love to get your thoughts and feedback on like lead and lag indicators or lead and lag measurements. And a lag measurement is something like the weight, so I must be 110 kilos. And that's a lag measurement because when that fact becomes true, it's in the past. Yeah, a lead indicator or a lead measurement is looking at what's going to get me to that place, which is what am I doing every single day. Yeah, awesome. I want to get down to 100 kilos now. Great. If you just live there, we're just living there. You're not doing anything, right?

Yeah.

Awesome. What do I need to do today? Well, I just need to win my nutrition. If I'm having two meals, if I'm fasting, if I'm having six meals, whatever I'm doing coordinated with my day, I do that. I move my body very, very similar. Like facts and future. Where am I now? Cool. Where am I going today? And in the short and intermediate future. Nourish the body. Move the body. And then how to make sure I do that consistently, which is the environment of the tribe. And how have you found, like, being part of something larger than yourself? It's larger than me. No one person is bigger than odm. But have you found that having. Having the environment as well instead of just going on your own?

Yeah, that's. That's been a really good part. Having the. Yeah, just the whole tribe, a whole bunch of guys. The first time I think we went to training session thing in Newcastle and I'm thinking, shit, I'm like, biggest guy here. I'm 100 and I think I was 150 odd kilos at that stage. I thought, I'm just gonna get towered up here. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get left behind, you know. So to be honest, I was not looking forward to it, but went down there. Probably some of the best guys that you'll ever meet. All like, got different journeys, doing different things, but, you know, the encouragement and the guys having a chat and getting it going, it like really lifts you up and that's, that's how it's been the whole, the whole way through. Like, if I ever want to know something or if I can't get, get to you, I'll reach out to any one of the boys and, you know, they'll post some good stuff up. It's been really good.

It's that energy, isn't it? You touched on that earlier. Like, energy is huge, man. And when I look at that, I'm like, you know, play such a big role. And what have you found to be the hardest thing in actually being a father? Like, thinking about, what do you think is the hardest thing? Is it that, like, trying to have a sustained level of energy for the kids? What have you found? Because as dads, we wear so many hats, man. Like, fuck, we wear so many hats. And that definitely isn't dating away from women. This is never about a he and she. It's a case of Recognizing what we're focusing on, which is you, which is fathers. But what do you think has been the hardest thing in being a dad for the last seven years?

I think it's like. It's kind of like a complete package kind of thing. Like, always worried about. You want to be the financial. You know, you want to make sure they're all looked after. And, like, my daughter's got a few. A few health problems, and that's been kind of really hard when it's taken completely out of your control and you can't do anything about it. Yeah. And just with raising them as well, just being able to be there and run around with them and get involved in their schoolwork, it's hard. It's extremely hard when you. When you have to be the one working, like, full time and to feel to fit all that kind of stuff in there in the time that you've got, try and make sure you do enough of everything. Either one, bringing the money and making sure that's okay and doing that schoolwork and running around with them and trying to fit everything into the time, which.

Becomes a very quick trap, doesn't it, man? What about Mike?

Yeah, that's it. That's. Yeah. Another thing that he probably said at the start, which I. Which I didn't, again, fully understand at the start, about creating space for yourself. Because at the start, everything you do is, like, funneled into your kids. You kind of don't know how to kind of explain it, but you kind of lose your identity a little bit. You're not spending any time on yourself. And I think that's when the weight started to go sky high. And, yeah, now I take time out for myself to do things that I really want to do, that I'm passionate about. And, yeah, that's been good as well. But recognizing that you need that time out.

Yeah, you do, man. Because it gives you the ability to recalibrate who you want to be moving forward, but also knowing, like you said, they take. They are sponges. Fire out there. Sponges, man. Oh, yeah. My girls, even lillian, she's like 10 months old at this stage. And I'll come in and she'll look at me and smile. So I just give her a little point. So now as soon as I come home, she just looks at me and just points at me now. So that's a big point. I was like, man, pointing's rude, but it's what I'm doing, right? Do as I say, not as I do. That doesn't really hold much waiting when they copy everything you do, it's insane, man. But it's really funny. I'm all for sharing feelings and opinions. Not that I spend much time on that, mate. I think a lot of time gets wasted and lost when it comes to opinions, which is why I try and work with a lot of facts and data from what we've done. History, universal truths, whatever you call them. Absolutes. And I don't know if I said it to you, Mike, but I say it. Not all the time. The guys in our group get it now, but a lot of the time. Fuck, man. You're operating at 30%. You're giving your family 100% of what you're operating at. That's 100 over 30. You're not giving them a true 100%. It's very simple. Like, that's a mathematical. The world seems to forget that, though. Yeah, we just eat shit, suck it up, move on, do what you need to. Sacrifice, give and give. You it's okay. Well, maybe if you got to 100%, you give them 70%, you don't even give all of you, and they're still getting double, you know. It's pretty amazing, mate, when we look at that. Which is why what you said earlier. Absolutely. Creating space for yourself, that's huge. Because then you can give more. But talk to us, man. What's ahead for 2020? What are the plans for this year that we're looking to get on top of the declarations or intentions that you're looking to hit?

Man, with the weight, I want to get down to probably about 115, 110, 115. If I can get that by the end of the year, I'd be very, very happy. That's where I want to be. And just, you know, keep doing the same thing. Keep, like, the training up and keeping the nutrition really good and just. Yeah, keeping that kind of structure that I've got.

And that's the key thing, what you just touched on in those three points, because, like, well, awesome, we've got that. Which. What I said before, lag indicators. They're great lag measurements. All right, cool. Let me get Mike down to 110. Unreal. That's a moment, right? Yeah, a point in time, literally a present moment where you recognize. You'll look down, you'll be like, oh, there's 110. That's like fucking five seconds. Celebrate as long as you want after. But that's just our true north, right? Like I said earlier, that's our true north. That's our compass. It's where we're going. Cool. So what do we need to do? And you can hear it if you're not watching this and see it. Unreal. Mike's got it set. Breaking it down. Nutrition training structure, what he's doing, the group, the tribe, and what's the biggest takeaway that you usually have when you're doing those things for yourself physically and how it affects you mentally?

Yeah, just puts you in a good frame of mind. When you're hitting all the goals and you're doing all the right things, you wake up feeling you kind of know the, you know what you've got to do to make it to that. And when you're doing all those three things and doing the same thing like creating space and things like that, you just wake up and, you know, mentally you're pumped.

What would you say? It's been awesome having you on, man. And, you know, I'll be seeing you Friday for some meat. Good stuff. It's been great having you on, Mike. But if there's. And I'm not, you know, I'm not suggesting you kind of contact rdm, he'll find a way. It's important to him. But just to help inspire. If there's a father watching this or listening, he's struggling. He may be 110, he may be 170 kilos. Doesn't matter. There's a man out there watching or listening, doesn't think it's possible. It's impossible. I can't do it. Mike's a special case. The hundreds of dads that Al works with is special case or just say it on me.

I think, like, for myself when I was out there and I thought by myself, I can't. I can't do it. You know, I need help. So to some of the dads that are out there thinking probably in the same kind of situation, then it's all too hard. If they jump on, to jump onto the guys with, you know, at RDM and get involved in the. In the tribe, the culture, you got people supporting you like 100%, then it's absolutely possible. It's absolutely possible to change mindset, to lift you up and to get into the training. Every single aspect is you've got help in different things with your food, you might not be 100% there. You might struggle with the training things. If you can't do some of the exercises that they've got on the training, then they'll give you something else. It's complete support.

It's really funny, isn't it, mate? I mean, two things I speak about this, two things that you need. You need to believe in yourself and believe in something you're investing. That simple. You don't have to believe in me, but fuck me dead. Like, if you don't believe in yourself, what hope do you have?

Exactly.

That's the scary part. You do that and you do that properly. Yes. Sometimes it takes someone else to believe in you, help you raise your standards, raise up what's possible. But like you said before when you left your own devices, man, it's hard, isn't it? Because you're stuck in the same, I guess, same state of thinking.

Yeah, it's hard to get out of that bubble and you don't really think there's any, you know, any kind of option. And yeah, then you just jump out and put your hand up and say, you know what? I need a bit of a hand. You know, you can get results 100%.

I appreciate you jumping on today and joining us, man. It's something I want to do with you for a little while now and the new year got ahead of us, but here we are, mate. And you know, like with yourself, once you hit this marker, not if, but when, when you hit it. We have one of our dads who helped fix his back, play with his kids at Christmas time. First time ever. His kids are like, I think 6, 9 and 12. I don't know. Do you have any plans? Anything crazy, anything wild that you want to do with the kids like this year as well? Like something that you are going to do because now you physically can, I.

Think, like, probably ties into the creating space kind of thing. I definitely want to take the kids away and going to a few holidays and things like that, but just to be physically, like active with them and be able to run around, you know, like, we're hitting up the bikes, the kids have got bikes down. We're doing a bit of riding and things that. At 164 kilos, isn't that why I was jumping on a bike? You know, but now I'm able to strap on a helmet and chase them around and that kind of stuff. So more of that.

That's awesome. Have they said anything? Like, what's. Are they giving you any feedback or.

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. They noticed the difference in. Because I'm the one doing all the running around and that now, but also because I'm trying to be really careful with the foods that I'm choosing. They pick me up in their shops, you know, we Walk past the soft drink aisle and my little girl say, no, no, you can't go in there, dad. None of that for you.

That's awesome, isn't it? Incredible. They just pick up on it, don't they? Incredible, man.

The training as well. Because I like to do like three nights in the gym and I like to do things at home. I'll have both of them drag out the exercise mat and little bloke will try and help me out with the weights and they get into it as well and it becomes like part of the routine. After we have dinner and yeah, the kids are dragging out the mat. Let's go, dad, let's do the push ups. It was awesome.

So good, man. Like Stella in my gym, which I don't own anymore. But yeah, she used to love going in there and running around, jumping up on the rings and just be. I mean, obviously I'll keep her in a healthy fit state. With exercise it just becomes second nature, doesn't it?

It does standard.

So I got standards. What I do. Yeah, you know, is what it is.

We had a little thing at school where they did some exercises because they take time out of their day now to do that. And for Zach, it was just like second nature. My little wife said, oh yeah, push ups, we do that at home. Sit ups. Yeah, I know how to do that. I thought that's awesome. That's the kind of thing that I.

Want them to be like future pacemake 40 years time from now and you look back on this moment that you've turned everything around. How are you feeling about yourself?

I think I'll be pumped, be stoked. Just, yeah, needed that moment to kind of put my hand up and ask for help and did it and, you know, believed in it and got the results.

Absolutely, man. And again, thanks for jumping on today, mate. It's been awesome. Thanks for you guys, checking in. Whether you're listening or watching this and there's always going to be something, but there's always a way. That's the thing. I can't stress this enough. Like when it's too late, it's too fucking late. Don't cut yourself. Deny yourself before the fact. And the fact is you're still here, you're still breathing, still got time. So when you have these moments or these periods of doubt or struggle, you don't believe you can. Well, yes, you can. None of us are special. And I mean that in the most respectful way in the sense that, you know, hard work and having a level of commitment to just like Mike's story here to seeing what's possible eventually leads to the reality that you can have and credit to you for reaching out, man. Like, it takes balls. It's not easy. I'm not saying these things to pump up. People are booking a call with me at the end of this podcast. We're sharing truths. It takes balls and courage. It's not easy. It's not easy to go through the process and show us that you're committed as well. But fuck. What an incredible journey so far though, man. Those that are, we never look back, mate. Absolutely awesome. Thanks again for jumping on, guys. Hope you enjoyed this. You got some value out of it. Again, if you ever want to touch on anything, anything specific topics, talks, different frames of mind. I know we said mindset's a funny word, isn't it? Buzzword I don't like using, but you're right, it's about the real estate between the years. Mike. Absolutely. Hit us up, let us know. Flex an email Alex at realdadmovement. Com or touch base by commenting Facebook any post, any social media, any platforms that we have and we'll see you next episode. Cheers, guys.