43. Why Buffet’s Are Never The Answer

So welcome to another episode on Real Dad Movement. My name's Al, but obviously you already know that. Episode 43 why Buffets Are Never the Answer yes, they are, Al. Buffets are amazing. They are. Doesn't mean you should treat your life like one. That doesn't mean experiencing life either, as opposed to investing in yourself. Let me be clear here. There's so much bullshit going on in the world. There's a lot of energy out there in the world that it doesn't serve you. It's not helping you when you dive into deep rabbit holes, whether they're. And I'll dive as deep as anyone wants to go, don't get me wrong on that. Whether it's countries, governments, theories, all different things and moving parts that take your energy, ask yourself, well, is this actually moving my life forward? Is being informed the answer? Is it the truth? Who knows? So when it comes to looking inside of yourself, this is an important piece, especially for fathers. As a father, we wear so many different hats, right? We, we chuck them on and we're a father. That's just one of them trying to put food on the table for our family. Whether you've got one or seven kids or another one on the way. Outstanding. Can't wait. It's going to be an amazing journey. All the more reason to win, right? And winning doesn't mean out muscling something or trying to maneuver around something with full blown force. You'll see that disappear. It's about having a balanced approach in your life and being on the level with your life in approaching the experiences that you choose to have which come from how you invest in yourself. With idm, it's very, very simple. There's five pillars and I'll run through that so you're crystal clear on why this works and what we do for fathers all over the country. The reality is in the modern world, we are so triggered and we are so distracted and disrupted with all the noise and bullshit out there, we don't know what to do, who to turn to or where to go. Or we choose. And we may choose. We make choices and allocate these choices and the effort and energy in ourselves, in things that aren't serving us. Let's get one thing straight. When it comes to your life, your reality, there's 8 billion different realities out there. Pretty crazy, isn't it? Regardless of whether you have common ground with people or not, there are 8 billion different realities or thereabouts out there in how people choose to see things. I was going to say there's 8 billion versions of Albert. The world doesn't know me yet. They will one day. There are, though, different versions of how I am in other people's lives, just like there are in yours in my life, and how you see yourself. So when it comes to understanding this, all of a sudden we start to realize that, well, hey, what actually, really, truly exists right here and now? The only thing in your external and your internal reality that truly exists right now is your immediate external environment. Even what I'm posting here on Facebook, you could be watching this 10km away or 10,000km away. This is me looking down the barrel of a lens or speaking into a microphone, and all of a sudden, here we are. I'm part of your reality in your world. So often people start investing themselves in different realities that aren't even near them or they can't even do something about it. And it pulls on them. You can feel that it's heavy. There's heavy energy out there, heavy energy in your life, you start to see things a little bit differently. Temperament, nature changes a little bit differently. Instead of looking, going, what is the immediate external environment that is ultimately influencing and creating my reality in my life right now? That's such an imperative thing. Here I am sitting in my office, amazing environment. I love it in here. Spitting some fire in my environment. That the only thing that actually truly exists is what's here and now. Right here and now. Yes, life is great. Experience many, many different facets of life. There's some heavy, hard shit that you'll never even see or know of. There's some amazing, beautiful things that you'll never, ever see or know of. It doesn't matter. It's asking yourself the question, what world do I want? What reality do I want? Do I choose to try and invest myself into carve out, to find, to seek, to nourish and grow? More often than not, the end. That's it. So just to give some insight, that sounds amazing, Al. You're talking about environments, external, internal, influencing, Unreal. Great choice of words, mate. What does it all mean? Well, what it means is that what's happening here and now, in this now ultimately determines your future. And you can use your past and there's many different moving parts, but what are you doing to help move yourself forward the way that you can, on your terms, without picking and having nibbles and bites, which is why I use the term buffet in this title. Of all these different pieces of information, of advice, of opinions, of people, of environments that aren't even part of Yours that are constructing your world. Right now my life's going amazing. There's nothing going wrong with my life. And I don't care what happens with restrictions or what governmental laws, what things happen in this life, in this suburb, where I am, where I live, it doesn't matter. It's not going to break me. I'll control what I can control and continue to enhance my level of living physically and mentally, moving forward and being a leader through actions, through showing, not telling. My wife is pregnant with my third child. How the fuck do you think that that child would be receiving the energy right now if I was living in fear and worry and concern and doubt, let alone my one year old daughter Lillian, let alone my nearly four year old daughter Stella, or my wife, or the dads. Inside of rdm, energy is everything. Understand that your thoughts, feelings, emotions, right here and now. What I'm expressing is a level of energy even without speaking thoughts. Faster than the speed of light, right? Powerful, very powerful. So the core elements, this is the core of what you must have in your life. Don't worry about RDM and what the words are that I call them, but our five pillars. Number one, facts and future. Where are you now? Where are you going? This is your vision. This is connecting you. I've created something. I posted it the other day yesterday. The RDM ripple. Six facets of your life. You've got the present, the past, the future, all of them. You've also got bridges between all of them. You can't live in one for too long. Even the immediate now. If you live in the immediate now, 100% for too long, you will lose and fall apart in certain areas. And things that are coming in the next present moment that you don't even know exist because of how encapsulated you are in this one. Hard, isn't it? Almost contradicting double sided coin of life though, right? Life and death. Double sided coin of consciousness. So when we look at this, it's important to understand where your true north is. What's the compass? Where I'm actually going in my life. Out. Unreal. I know where I'm going. This is what I want to achieve. The target moves, it changes. But if you have that and you apply 5 to 10% of your energy and effort and time there, it gives you something. A yearning, a desire to move towards goals, visions, facts and future. A declaration. Where do you want to go? It's important if you live there. It's fantasy. It's nothing. Doesn't exist. Then what we do is something that every human being should do in their life in applying the vessel, effort and the vessel that we are using in the human body. In physical health, I call it primal power. Nourish and move the body. Not diets and shakes and bullshit. Actually looking after yourself the right way. Find what works for you. Pull bits and pieces from everywhere if that's what works for you. But it's got to be for you, dialed in for you in your life. Otherwise you're applying a method which is a template or a piece of information that doesn't even know who you are. How do you know it's the answer? Because it works for them. Them? Them. Are they you? Are they your life? Of course they're not. But this is so important. Primal power. Because everything you do physically affects you mentally. Try and prove me wrong. I've tried. That is a universal law. You brush your teeth. Why? Because of how it makes you feel when you do it or how you feel if you don't. Pain, pleasure. Pain, Pleasure. Pain, pleasure. I don't get up and wipe my daughter's ass in the middle of the night for her. I do it for me. But I do it because the physical elements of doing that and helping look after my family and my children means that mentally, I'm sound. Mentally, I'm a good father. I'm looking after my family and I feel better. I'm actually looking after myself because I can go back to bed and get some sleep. Everything you do physically is for you. Mentally, it is crucial. Al's not a health and fitness coach. I'm a collective of everything. But let's keep rolling. Well, this is great. I've got my plan on what I should do. But how do I actually apply it? Doing what you said you would do. Hard, isn't it? Most of the world fucking lies to themselves. They think they tell the truth. They don't. They lie to themselves and they hide it. They sweep things under the rug. In applying this element of following through and doing what they said they would do. No, it's perfect. I'm not perfect. I don't want to be. It doesn't exist. Not possible. And the hardest shit in my life has led to the greatest moments and shifts and change and evolution. But ultimately, the environment is one of the greatest things that really encompasses you and your life for your entire life. The end. That's a whole episode on its own. But this environment's crucial because what it does is it helps influence and enhance your level of being and what you can do. Support accountability Doing what you said you would do, planning some work, working the plan, tying back in, revisiting and revitalizing your vision. This is what I actually want to achieve. It's not the result, it's who you become in the process of getting that result. So when you get that, well, of course I should look at everything I've done, look how I carry myself, look at who I am right here and now today, of course I should have that result. It's our true north though, in the dark times to follow through and do what we want to do. Because right now we're not happy with the standard of where we're at. We no longer choose to accept or tolerate that. And it is not the norm. This is the new benchmark. This is the new benchmark. That's why we have it. Well, how do we achieve those benchmarks? Primal power, nourishment, move the body. Well, how do we do that consistently? Your environment, other like minded people see in rdm, their fathers all over the country and it's amazing, you might not have access to that. It might be people from different walks of life and you might have some common mental ground. Unreal, great. But the depth in the power is in. The depth will create the width of what you can have and what's possible in your life. Make no mistakes on that. For me it's fathers, absolutely. So when you've got that right environment, not if, but when you feel like falling back to the old bullshit or stories of what you tell yourself because of the little version of Al inside, he no longer holds footing or holds ground or waiting in the decision making process. I've got him as well. We have 60,000 thoughts a day, right? Pretty crazy. A lot of times there's a little Al just chipping away at Big Al, just trying to take an ankle down, trying to take a knee down. It's the truth. We all have it. We all have that little voice inside. So when that happens, not if, when you are being shown, you're being shown examples of leadership, you're being shown examples of others just like you, who can help you, pull you out of your own pit to get forward, rise up and take some action to get back on top again. But the important part is the culture and following through with the line of accountability, not just to yourself, but to something outside and greater than yourself. And that's what we have in the fifth pillar in IBM, which is the coaches. Very, very simple, isn't it? And the coaches help you with your perspective, understanding the mindset and mindset is a very overused word. Perspective is a powerful thing. It ultimately creates your reality through the feelings which create your reality. But this coaching is helping fathers get out of their own way. Having someone outside of yourself so you can stay engaged, accountable and committed to, so you can get out of your own way. And you can see the world in a scope, a different lens of how things may or may not be. Worry and fear get your sweet. Fuck all. They're robbing the present and future, present moments of a future that may never come. So what we do is look at being not necessarily problem solvers or solution finders. I guess both can work, but being driven on enhancing what life can be through the pain, through the pleasure, and above and beyond the baseline that we set every single time. This is the greatest I've ever been, the greatest I've ever felt. Right here and right now. Great. Unreal. Relative to what? The past. Everything else you've done up until this point, you just set a new standard, man. Let's go again and own that. Be proud of where you're at and then get better. So when I talk about the buffet of life that people seem to engage in and so many different answers that they're looking for, one of the greatest and fastest ways to remove a problem is to find and eliminate the cause. Crazy, right? But it's the truth. And the greatest way to move yourself forward in your life is having some key and core elements. You don't have to have all those. Let's quickly recap those five. The coaching, the environment, nourishing the body, moving the body, your primal power and facts and future vision. See, if all you do is plan, create a goal. Awesome. Great. You're just a dreamer. Nothing will happen, will it? Here's another decade, 2030. Another decade, 2040. If all you do is get information, you just train and eat. Train and eat. Unreal. Great. How long will you do that for? You're just doing it on your own. It's just information. It's a template. It's a line of action. True powers learn knowledge. Knowledge on its own is ridiculous. Don't even get me started on that. It's ignorance. Ignorance is better, right? Because you know you should do, but you don't do it. You need knowledge. Yes, but you need power, which is applied through taking action and then reflecting. That's what power is, knowledge. So learn. Do it. Reflect and go. Reflect and go. Seek and reflect and grow. Now, when you start doing this without having the ability to reflect and without having the environment and support without having the knowledge of knowing what you're doing and how it's actually working. Just information, training and nutrition. Right. Environment. I've got no disrespect to anyone who wants to create social support groups and look after each other, but if you're in the wrong environment, if you're an environment that's low level, or if you're not building an environment with action and tangible things in your life and consistently course correcting, getting on top again with a demand of what I can do to be better and more, and pulling away what you tolerate, you're just pissing in the wind. It's just bullshit. Let's get together and talk about feelings and then nothing happens again. Something's better than nothing, sure, but if you want to have excellence in your life, you need all of them. Cool. Al, that sounds great. I love what you're saying, mate. Unreal. You're making me pumped up or motivated or feeling better already. Great. Let's have some phone calls. I'll be your fucking life coach. Pillar five. I hope you feel better about yourself and then nothing happens again. We're just pissing in the wind. No disrespect if that's your title life coach, but it's true, you need all of them. Where am I now? Where am I going? How do I apply this to my life? Mentally, do it physically. Nourish the body, move the body? How do I consistently do that? How do I engage and stay aligned? How do I reach a higher level? Not just of consciousness, of being, being present, planning, reflecting in the past, planning for the future, environment. Massive, huge, influencing, way more power. No one person is greater than rdm. Myself included. The dads. And what we do here, it's fucking phenomenal what they go through our chat group. Oh my God. It's just. It's always there. Some of the dads might get sick of it, who knows, but the winds are there. What they're doing, how they're sharing. Like that's a level of energy you can't buy. Well, I guess you can in a way if you invested in rpm. But that's not the point. This isn't just for anyone to just come in and buy and invest in rbm. Certainly not. We've knocked back plenty of dads environment that's so important in being fairly committed, having the balls and showing up and being committed and following through and doing what you said you would do with something outside of yourself, not just yourself. And the final piece together with all that is having someone to help you move forward on that in a higher level. Who's either been there or done that, got the runs on the board or help you get out of your own way with your perspective and choosing a different line of actions to go. Yes, we reviewed this. This is what we're doing. This is what we need to do to improve. Are we heading? Are we tracking? Where's our true north? Awesome. Adjust the compass, set the sales. Bang, go again. Bang, go again. Bang, go again. This is why we win. It's very, very simple. Simple things are the hard things that are right. They are the hardest things to do and to do well. And it's not about comparing against anyone else. We live our truth. We walk our path, we do it our way, the right way for us and our fathers for what we want to achieve. But for all of you listening or watching this, take some light in what I'm saying here, in understanding that it can't be a big buffet of just nibbling on everything and being triggered and reacting, getting told what to do, getting told what to think. Question me, challenge me, I'm all for it. The greatest truth and the only truth is finding yours and living and expanding to be the greatest version you can. That's all I ever live and preach. That's it. Through doing it myself. Leadership showing, not telling. And when you do that, you can't lose, whether it's with me or anyone else. On your own, it certainly won't be. Let's remember we've all had someone wipe our ass at some stage of our life. There's no such thing as self made. And any person, especially any wizard or entrepreneur or any sort of business or life coach who tells you that's a fucking idiot because it doesn't exist. The greatest thing we can have in our life is understanding a line of perspective, past, present, future, of where we are, where we've been, where we're going. And apply the principles and foundations of the human body. Your physical health, the right environment to help influence and shift the physical health and the real estate between the years with the right guidance and support and structure to move you forward. That's it. Don't treat your life like a buffet. Treat experiences that you want to have in elements of life, sure. But you inside of your own life, no, no, no, you'll fall apart. You think this is going okay now you wait. Doesn't matter what's happening in the world though. It's what you can do and what you can control within yourself. Your own life and your own actions which will pull you away from a large majority of the world in living life as a fucking victim and rise you up to becoming a victor in your own life. And that doesn't mean going it alone, but it certainly means taking ownership and responsibility over what's happening in your life so you can liberate yourself and keep moving forward. Take care. Have an amazing day, night, weekend, weekday. Whenever you listen to, see or watch this. Hope you got some great value out of this. Take care. Be the change. But be that change in your own life first through rising up, bringing that big mirror in front of your face and opening the eyes and seeing where you're at, what's possible, and where you are now, and using the now to begin to connect the dots. Take care. I'll see you soon.