45. How Big Is Your Tank?

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement. In this episode, we talk about your gas tank building your capacity. Sounds cool, Al. What does that mean? What I'm talking about is your ability to get the most out of life each and every single day on your terms. You hear the term that they coin. We've all got 24 hours. Well, that means fuck all, doesn't it? In today's world, we're desensitized to it. We actually don't even know how that could apply to our life. We understand the metric of time and how we use it to gauge social order, the constructs of the day, creating structure in what we do. That's meaningless. There's already so much going on, there's so much noise, so much fluff in the world. What does that even mean? It's not about that. It's about the quality of time you actually have. And in that quality, as a producer, in your life, as someone with a gas tank, with the ability to produce, with the capacity to wear all these hats. As fatherhood really hits us, I mean, that's the big lesson, isn't it? As father? It hits. We start to understand the world. We get this mirror put up in front of our face, and all of a sudden, like, wow, there are so many things that we need to cover. So many stresses, so many pressures, so many burdens. I'm not sure what to do here, Al. I don't know if I can take it. And that was a hard life lesson for me because when I entered fatherhood, I was a fit, elite athlete with huge capacity for workload out on the dance floor, so to speak, when it came to performance and ultimately being the best I can be in the physical world. But then when it came to all the other areas of life, it became a real challenge for me. That's something I want you to think about in your life. Where were these moments where it felt like you just had all this stress, all this pressure, all this overwhelm? And ultimately, what it came down to was either a lacking capacity or a lack in ability to actually see what you can do and raise the standard physically and mentally of what's possible in your life. And that's what this is about. You'll hear me lots and lots and lots talk about some of the issues, challenges, problems that we all face in this world. But really ask yourself this question. What's the point? What's the point, Al? Why do you say these sorts of things? Why do you approach it in this light? Well, the reality is there is a reality in your world, and it doesn't include sweeping things under the rug. We've all got energy. We all expend this energy. And every single night we aim to rejuvenate that and recharge the battery, so to speak. But more often than not, as a father with so many different hats that we wear, as a husband, as a dad, as a man, as someone in the workforce, as a man in yourself, trying to keep physically healthy, mentally healthy, social constructs of friendships, groups, work meetings, extended careers, trying to build your career, running businesses. There are so many moving parts in our life that ultimately we feel like we're very distracted. We can't have focus or attention in what it is that we need to focus and attend our time too, and have that level of priority and focus on to be the best we can be. So what happens there now? Well, we start to drift. We start to get pulled left, right, back, up, down, forward, and it doesn't really make sense anymore. We feel burnt out. It feels like Groundhog Day. And all of a sudden there's even more pressure that's building and building for us to be able to handle the different stresses that hit us in life. We don't even know what to do or where to start because our capacity doesn't match that. Have a think about what you may believe to be true in building your capacity, because there are a couple of different lines that I want to speak about, and there are three things that really encase our life as a man, and that's family, self, and service. We call it the circles of significance in rdm. They're the only three things that exist. And when we look at this, we start to recognize that, well, more often than not, we don't invest in ourself, do we? We don't spend time on ourself. Yeah, but I don't want to be selfish, Al. You know, it's all about sacrifice. It's all about giving. Or maybe you should redefine what the term selfish and selfishness means to you. It's because you care about those around you that you should and willingly want to invest in yourself to be more. I say this again and again. This isn't about mathematic equations. It's very simple. If you're not operating at 100%, you can't give those around you that you love and care about your full 100%. Right? So if you're operating at 30%, that's your capacity. All the different hats you wear as fathers, as men in this world, in the modern Day, all the pressures. The world is going at a lightning pace. We feel like, well, shit, Al, I'm only operating at 30%, but I'm giving everyone everything. Yes, that's right. Correct me if my maths is wrong, but 130 is only 30%. So all of a sudden we start to have this revelation or breakthrough. And generally it's when you're entering the second half of your life, right? Because a lot of you listening to this, you're entering or you're well into the second half. Welcome to another decade, right? What a start we've had with this decade. But looking at where we're heading, moving forward, 2030, your blink will be 2040. And then all of a sudden, where's life gone? Now I'm in my 60s and I'm just looking over all these would ofs, should ofs, could ofs, and ultimately what I've A, conditioned myself to be and B, conditioned my life to have a level of acceptance and tolerance over the standard that I've set myself. And C, I'm actually seeing my children who are now adults and the foundations that they're putting in place and what I have done and chosen to do, good, bad and the ugly. This isn't a place of judgment, but what I've chosen to do in my life in those crucial periods of my 30s and 40s and has ultimately led to the foundations and platforms that my unborn grandchildren at the time are now adopting. It's quite an interesting thing. I don't say that from a line of judgment. I don't say that from a line of pressure as well. This isn't about feeling overwhelmed, that, hey, the whole world is hanging on me to create this change. No, no, no. It's very simple. It comes down to you and your capacity. Your capacity to build yourself, your capacity to lead through actions. Showing, not telling. And when you do that the right way, you do come out on top, of course, but everyone else does as well. Sounds great, Al. How do I do that, though, mate? I don't have any time. That's right. Time's an illusion. It's a measurement. That's what this is. It's a watch. It's something that we look at and go, well, it's now 10 past 10 or 10 past 12 or quarter past three. It's something that really is a measurement of the rhythms and cycles of the sun rising and setting. That's it. It's not about the time or the volume of time you think you do or don't have, because how much time do you think you have? You think you've all got mapped out? I'm going to live to be 82 hours. That's just the number. I'm going to live to be 71. I'm going to live to be 94. You don't know that. Two key questions. How much time do you think you have? But the more important one, which really reinforces this in the realization, the revelations that you'll have in understanding that this is your life, this is your world, it's my time now to claim it. I'm the fucking man. Is how much quality do you think you've had? Don't live in the past. The tools of the past, with photos, videos, memories, all these moving parts that really bring us back into a state that's already passed, it's gone. Can be a risky thing. You only go back there to learn lessons and pull reflection and revelations on what you can do to move forward and be better. That's it. So when we look at how much quality you think you've had, it's a point of reflection in seeing the man you were, the version you were and what your gas tank was like back then. Because the bigger your capacity, the more you can live, the more life you have to give. Great Al. Well, how do we build this capacity? Well, let me show you how. Because it comes down to your physical and mental ability. Please understand that when I talk about fat loss or weight loss, getting in shape, being fit and healthy as a human being, this is the vessel, this is the vehicle that you're using. It's not about getting far off to the right with voodoo, wizards and all this spiritual magic, and also to the left in living a black and white world. But I'm pretty sure it's quite real to know that you're more than just a physical body. But right now, where we're at here and now as a human being, your physical body is your vehicle for you to channel, express the life that you want. And that ultimately affects how you feel. It affects your reality. Ask yourself this question, does everything I do physically affect me mentally? Try and prove me wrong. Try and prove yourself wrong. Of course it does. You brush your teeth because of the benefits of consequences if you do or if you don't. You have a shower because of the benefits of consequences if you do or if you don't. Everything you do physically affects you mentally. And that's why it's a bit of a yin yang in looking at building your capacity and understanding that one of the primal Primal elements, I call it. Primal power in RDM is looking after your body to build your capacity mentally and physically. Nourish the body, move the body. Very, very simple. And then the greatest way to expand on that is understanding your immediate environment. You should be writing these things down. These are key elements. Sounds pretty simple, but so often we just forget it, right? The world becomes foggy. We get a bit foggy and a bit misty and we don't know what to do or where to turn to because life just gets in the way. And Groundhog Day hits again and again and again. All of a sudden, wow, it's June. Wow, it's September. I can't believe it's New Year's Eve 2021. And this is what life becomes. So it's not about trying to have this one hit, wonder, massive hit. This is the moment. Now. No, no, no. Anything from this bullshit coronavirus all the way through to any period in your life, your children turning 21, your marriage, anything, any moment, comes down to revealing the character that you've chosen to be and play in your own life. The roles that you take to adopt, which really gets revealed, and that's expressed in these higher elements or moments of time, high and low in the pit or in the glory. So when we look at this, we begin to understand that your primal power, how you notion, how you move the body and your immediate environment is the greatest way for you to start to build your capacity. When's the last time that you just went for a walk and just reflected on your thoughts? Just stop and listen. Let the world speak to you. It's so crazy. If you work in an office, you're in four walls all the time. You're working from home, you're in four walls all the time. You don't get out and about. Nature is one of the greatest ways for us to reconnect and ground ourselves. These are some key things, some key pieces of advice that I want to give you as a father. From one father to another, when you're looking at building your capacity so you can handle more, it is the only way through. When you build your capacity, it gives you the ability, in a bigger sweet spot, a bigger range, for you to apply true power in your life, which is learning, educating yourself, knowledge building that, and then taking action and applying that to your life and then reflecting. That's intelligence. Looking at the actions you've taken, the knowledge that you've learned, the time that you've invested in yourself, in your life to understand whether it's moving you forward or not, or how it's moving forward or what you can do to adjust course so your primal powers. One nourish and move the body. Don't go on diets, don't go on pills or shakes, don't do fucking F45 or CrossFit or any of these bits and pieces because someone told you to. Because it's gotten results. Anything will yield a result. The question is, is this a result that I actually enjoy? Is it one that I love? Is it moving me forward for the goals I have in my life? And is it something that's sustainable? These are so important for dads. Are you trying to become the next Mr. Olympia? I'm not. The reasons why you nourish the body is to give yourself plenty of fuel. You're giving yourself energy so you can express energy. You should have all of it. Protein, carbs, fats. You should have all of it. It doesn't make sense not to. The human body's designed for this. Then when it comes to moving the body, well, it's simply an outlet. It is merely valuing yourself to prioritize some time for yourself to, to move your body a few days a week. It could be walking, it could be some push ups and squats at home, it could be some dumbbells. You have home gym, you could go to the gym, although that's not apparently available at the moment. But these are moving parts of your life. To tap into that primal power and get the chemical balance inside of your body to just move. Very simple and it's amazing. How could you feel? I feel great, Al. I actually got out and about. I just went for a walk. Mate for 50 minutes. How did it feel? Don't shortcut yourself, don't shortchange yourself. Going for a five minute walk will do nothing. Just eating good for one day will do nothing. If you think about it, if you get your meals set up, breakfast is very easy. It's much easier than people think. Some of our dads in rdm, they do fasting because it's convenience and it brings structure to their life. And they can have bigger feeds before night, before dinner, or the meal after at lunchtime. That works for them and their work. Structure, unreal. It's got to be something that you're invested in. And then when it comes to moving the body, well, it's very, very simple. It's something sustainable, enjoyable and time effective and family friendly for you. They're the key elements to start with, creating space, your immediate environment. What does that mean now? What that Means is surrounding yourself. Because a large portion of your life as a man, as a father, when it comes to looking in that fucking mirror, and then seeing all the other areas of your life where you've got all this pressure, all these elements trying to pull you down, try and tell you what to think, what to feel, bringing fear, worry, concern, doubt inside of your life, inside of your world, it's having that reset, it's having that realignment to pull back with your media environment and understand that a large portion of your life is created through your perception, which is created through your immediate reality. Eyes and feelings. Eyes and feelings. That's why I love getting out in nature. Yes, Ears, yes. The senses, you can use them, but a lot of the times they get used against us. But eyes and feelings. Get out in the world, go for a nice walk, go for a bush walk, go to the beach, get out anywhere, get out on some grass and just go for a walk. Instead of being in things that are superficial, surfaces or enclosed spaces or air conditioning, that sort of stuff that does not work. It's not what we're designed to have to be to feel. It's ingrained in our DNA, but it's also something that both consciously and subconsciously, you are building the person and the version you are through what you surround yourself in your immediate environment. That's what we call creating space. Just having some time out for yourself. This sounds good, Al. What does this all mean, though? What this means is when you nourish your body, when you move your body, when you create some space for yourself and value your immediate external environment, guess what? You're nourishing the internal environment. And when you do that the right way, through progressively overloading it in your training in nutrition, in exposure to the environments that serve you, even if it's podcasts, playlists, doesn't matter. My voice, if you can stand it, it doesn't matter. It's having something that applies to your life to help you reconnect with yourself, to ask quality questions, to sit back, to have a global view on yourself, on your own life almost in third person, to look back and go, am I happy with where I'm going? Am I going somewhere that I want to go? What is my destination? Where do I want to go? What is fulfillment to me? What brings me significance? What am I contributing to life, to my family, to my children? The legacy that I'm building? What are the achievements that I'm carving out for myself? Life is a series of questioning yourself on whether you're growing or whether you're dying. Expansion or contraction. And it's a series of really experiences where you are having that you can't win all the time. That doesn't mean you should lose all the time either. It's not what this is about. So when you start to do that, guess what? You're building an internal capacity. I'm not talking about how fast you can run 100 meters or what you can do for a 2k road time. I'm talking about building your internal capacity to continue to handle the adversities and the bullshit that the world will continue to throw at us. When dads win, everyone wins. I'm getting T shirts made up. That is the truth. And it's so universal in understanding that through a genuine light, as men, as fathers, leading in our own way. Nothing against women, they're leaders in their own way. It's phenomenal what women and mothers can do for us in this world and what they do for themselves. But as a father, as a man, what you're experiencing right now, looking inside of yourself and asking, can I be more? Can I do more? That doesn't mean more coffees. That doesn't mean more numbers in your bank account. That doesn't mean flogging yourself. It starts with you. And when you can build this capacity internally, build this big fucking gas tank to be able to handle everything that gets thrown at you physically, mentally, you're more sound and aware of who you are, what's important to you. You can prioritize your time, your efforts, and where you place your value and where you focus and have your attention on will ultimately become the reality that you choose. Interesting, Al it is. Because when you look at this, you start to realize that whether it comes from a line of being a victim or a victor in your life, it's always a choice. Choices can be hard to make though, if you don't have the capacity to handle what gets thrown at you. Because then it no longer becomes a choice of control and freedom and independence. It becomes a choice of reaction in basically spotting fires and damage control and reacting to life and just doing the best you can. I'm just a battler owl. I'm just surviving. That's not what life's about. I've got nothing against people who tie those words into cues that can help them pull through dark times. But that's bullshit. You're not here to exist. You're not here to survive. You're not a battler. You have a power inside of you that you have no idea exists yet, but that's why there are people out there. There are environments out there. What we do in rdm, what I'm doing right here and now, is helping you open the scope and break through this glass ceiling of what you believe your life can, will, and should be. And actually seeing what's possible, it's a very powerful thing. It's hard. Sometimes it takes someone else to believe in you, for you to believe in yourself at a higher level. I speak about this all the time inside of the dads in rdm. I've needed that in. It's important. No one's self made. No one walks out of the womb wiping their own ass and cooking their own meals, right? We've all had someone have our back at some stage of our life. Nothing against personal success, but understand that when it comes to building your capacity, there's internal, external environments in play which ultimately affect those around us. Family, self and service, the key elements that make up your life. That puts you in a position to determine who you want to be and the strength you can have. And then when you start to align that, you. You start to raise the bar in the standard of your life, to be able to handle anything that gets thrown at you. It's a powerful thing to have. I want you to listen or rewatch this episode. This is available on podcasts, my YouTube channels, it's on Facebook. I'm playing it live right now. It's understanding what's possible in your life and the power you actually have and not selling yourself short, because in a blink of an eye, bang, you'll wake up and you'll be 50, you'll be 60, you'll be 70. You'll be looking over your life going, ah. Throwing your hands up in the air. It just is what it is. No, it can be whatever you want it to be. And that doesn't mean it just gets thrown into your lap. It's hard. It's not easy. Many things in life are long shots, but it's worth it. Because what's the alternative? Pulling back to a lackluster life where you get told what to do? You're reacting to every single thing. You have no control or freedom, which goes completely against the grain of what human life is about. What we are as a spirit and what evolution means to us as human beings. So to experience and express the life that we choose and be the gift, be the gift that life is, to channel through us and be the vessel for us as human beings. Very, very simple. And there's actual science behind that. I'm not talking about spiritual wizards or voodoo or fairies. And I've got nothing against that as well. If that's something people enjoy, great. Good for you. It's about finding what you're connected to. You go too far one way or the other, you lose the grand scheme of things and understanding where we are. And that's what I love about the internal, external environment. But you can't, you cannot prepare yourself for things that you have no idea are coming yet if you don't work on yourself and build your capacity. And that's what the lesson of today is all about. Myself included. How do we do that? By having revelations, reflecting by adopting what we call the RDM ripple. Looking at the past, the present, the future, then connecting the dots. The present to the future with your vision, the present to the past with reflection, the future to the past. In understanding, did I expand or did I contract? And comparing self judgment in a way of your actions, not of you as a person, and then looking at what you can do to re, coordinate, readjust and then take some action and go again. That's the beauty and the power of life that we truly have. It's a gift, right Every single day. You don't have to get up, you get to. Don't ever forget that. Hope you've enjoyed this episode when we're talking about building your tank, building the gas tank, building your capacity as a man, as a father, as a human being. Because when you do this, whether it's coronavirus or any other fucking thing that hits this world, you'll be in a better position to handle it because of the stability and the structures you have inside of yourself. The framework, the big breastplate, the body armor to handle what gets thrown at you. And put your stake in the ground, your flag, and go, no, no, this is who I am, this is my life. This is who I choose to be. So I'm going to do this now and continue to develop that. And then when that happens, it doesn't matter whether there's 12 or 24 hours in the day. The quality and the quantity of what you actually can do in your capacity, which is reinforced in what you want to do, where you're going, what brings you fulfillment and significance in your life, family, self and service, the three elements that make your life. It's on your terms, what a life to live. You do that, I guarantee you, I promise you, you can't have regrets. It's not possible. It doesn't exist. And that's the only thing that I truly fear in life, which Means I don't have fears. Because the way that I adopt and apply action in my life means that I don't ever have regret. We're always learning, we're always growing. There are plenty of things that I could look back and go, they're fuck ups. They're the greatest gifts I've ever had. They're not failures, they're wins and learnings. Drew, our mindset coach inside of RDM created that word and I don't even know if it exists, but it's a phenomenal one. Wins and learnings. Because if you keep moving forward, you can't lose. And life isn't about winning against other people. It's about winning against lesser version of yourself. 60,000 thoughts a day. Don't ever forget that. Little Al's inside, he pipes up plenty. I tell him to fuck off, get out the back. Big Al's got the show covered and I'm here and I'm now. Take care. Have an amazing day, night, weekend, weekday, anytime you're listening to or watching this, don't ever forget the capacity that you can have built off the back of the belief that you can have, which is always a series of choices in your perception and how you create your reality in the reality that you want to choose. It's really funny, isn't it? But that is the truth. Be that which you desire, which you want to be, which you must be, which you need to be for yourself, your family, and your legacy inside of your life. And you will not lose, I promise you. And your capacity will fucking skyrocket through nourishing the body, moving the body, creating space, and really prioritizing and valuing your internal and external environment. Take care and I'll see you soon. Cheers.