48. Raising Your Belief

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement. Today's episode, episode 48, raising your belief. A really funny one. And it's funny how the simple things often cut the deepest and work the best. And what I found in my experience of life is not necessarily tagging or aligning with some old sayings that some bloke who's 500 years old now said. Now there's a lot of value and truth in that. But. But it's also a moving landscape, isn't it? In life, in your life. In our life as a father, as a man, as a husband, as a worker, as a business owner. All these different fucking hats we wear that are tags that don't actually mean anything, but yet we get identified by society and labeled as someone who should be doing this, who should be doing that. And this is where your belief should lie because this is who you should be. Which is why I like to stay modern up to date and not rely. There's nothing against the old wizards, but not rely on some of their sayings or mantras and ultimately don't hold much value because it's not something that's being presented and pushed and really expressed to you right here and right now. The point, well, the other day I just had a simple saying to myself and look, unlike all of you, we all have doubt and self doubt at times in our life. There's a lot of unknowns in life, but that's okay. I've got nothing wrong with the unknown. It's something I can't control or refuse to try and control. But ultimately the greatest problem or issues that you will face in your life isn't that what you'll face in your life is uncertainty. And uncertainty comes off the back of fear, worry and doubt in alignment of not taking action with and for your own life. So this very simple saying I said was super simple. You'll only ever do what you believe you can do. And that is a really funny thing. I want you to say that to yourself again. Write it down, think about it, apply it to your life. Reflect on periods of your life, reflect on limiting beliefs in your life. Reflect on areas and elements of your life where you have held true someone else's standard of you, what someone else has told you you should do, or could do, or will do. What someone else has downplayed in your own ability, someone trying to pull you down, including yourself. A lot of the times this whole tall poppy syndrome shit comes down to our own lack of belief, right? We do it to ourselves and then ultimately through other People and external influences, we still do it to ourselves, right? Because we allow them in, we let them in. And at a core level, you as a core being. There are two things that really encase. The core is an amazing video I did with our dads in our coaching session last night. Your internal environment and your external influences. So what the external environment is influencing with and what you allow to influence you with. So. So they're the two elements, like that sort of yin yang. So we need it, it's necessary, it's part of life. And I'll dive into examples of that with my own life. So you can resonate and connect with this. But it's the truth, man. I don't live with opinions. What I live with is facts and hard data, but also the feelings and emotions that are intertwined with that which become universal truths. And it is the truth. You'll only ever do what you believe you can do. Oh, how does that work out? There's plenty of times when the odds are stacked against us and the hero rises up and we do xyz or we surprise ourselves or. Yes, of course. Well, good for you, mate. But the reality is there was still a small, little minuscule iota of belief in thinking or knowing or believing that you can do it. You can come through. You can come through the other side. Look at movies, stories, history. There are so many different elements, you know, bloody David and Goliath, whatever you want to look at or pull from, but, you know, the underdog. Applying that. If you are and feel like and represent the underdog in your life. One, it's not healthy long term. You're the fucking hero. You're the type. This is your world. But two, two, regardless of how low the odds are of you being successful at times when you have broken through and become successful, it's because you've still believed. Cool, Al. So what do we need to do? How do we move forward from this? What's the catch? Well, the catch is the level of belief you can raise consistently and the volume of belief you can have in yourself. For you, it's got to be you. It's your life, man. No one else's. It's your world, no one else. It's your reality. Yes, it's combined and connected with all of ours, but it's yours. It's through your eyes, your feelings, how you experience life itself. So the greatest way to do it is to raise that level of belief. Don't neg yourself into being positive. All the fucking wizards these days are doing that. It's all shit and grind and hard work and hustle and all of these moving parts that make an absolute slog of pit, mate. We already know life's hard. Shit. We already know there's some tough things ahead. We already know it's coming. Don't need to put any extra light or energy on that. Why would you? It's like you're downplaying so that when you come back to level, you can talk about the big victory you've had, but you haven't even moved anywhere. You're still at ground zero. It doesn't make any sense to me. So when we look at what we need to apply in your life, it comes from a level of raising your belief, but understanding where the belief must come from and where it focuses moving forward. See, it was very hard for me. A lot of the big breakthroughs I've had in my life, my traumas. I made a revelation last week in the patterns that was a part of my life. The little fat boy, the obese boy. No girls like me, spitting in the mirror, calling myself an fc, not really enjoying life at that time. Had a loving family, had older brothers that A, supported me and protected me against bullies, and then B would give me a bit of stick as well. In their own right family life, right, brothers, it's what they do. But also that level of belief just wasn't there from 8 through to about 16. But I started weight training when I was 12, 13 years of age. Dad, the old wog that he was, just got a shitload of weights on auctions and whatnot and filled our garage up and said, go, here's some books. Read and lift. And it was awesome. I loved it. But I was still overweight and down and out. Having mind games, we all do. It's a battle of the mind. That's what life becomes. But I had that for many years. But it became a case of like the Yin Yang I spoke about earlier. I'll show you. I'll show the world. I'll fucking show you what I'm made of. I'm not going to be this fat boy anymore. And luckily enough, with such a loving mother and father, but my mother, especially in nurturing me, in helping me value myself, it's sort of balanced out. Dangerous thing to do though, looking external to validate the internal. I'll show the world, right? It worked for me. It's given me the skillset and the tools to be tenacious. I can get in robot mode and overcome anything in front of me. Is it healthy? Long term? Probably not. Are you doing it for someone else or something else? Probably. It's got to be for you, man. So when I started to lose weight, I was showing the world, right? So then I became an elite athlete. Trialed for the local football club, St. Mary's Saints Rugby League. They won it the year before. I'm like, oh, if I'm going to try for any club, I want to try for the best. No one knew who I was. There's a squad of 40 of us and I was the outcast. And I earned my stripes, got onto the, made the squad, got onto the bench, starting forward, man of the match, so on and so forth, and then made it to Jersey flake for the Panthers, Then made it to reserve grade for the Panthers and first grade squad with the Panthers and then moved around. I'll show you I will win pre seasons. I'll fucking sprint harder than anyone. I'll collapse. I'll show you what I'm made of. And then when it came to retiring after nine operations and injuries, I'll bounce back. You won't see what this body can do. People fall apart. I'll show you what I can do. One of the fittest men in the world for my size. People at 6 foot 4 and 112 kilos shouldn't be doing what I was doing, but I was doing it at a regional level with CrossFit internationally and beating people a quarter. 80 kilos, 5 foot 8 and beating them for gymnastics. 6 foot 4, 110. Now, it's not about a line of ego, but that's the dangerous path that you can come down when you continually try and validate what you can do in an exponential way, like moving ahead, getting bigger, getting bigger in a comparative way of everything around you, not inside you. Luckily enough, I still had that little version inside from my mother in helping me still value and love myself. Very hard, though. Hard battle to win. Because it was a pattern that kept coming up. And it was a pattern and a void that kept getting filled through sport and through physical health and competing. I'm one of the most competitive men you'll ever see. My work capacity is fucking massive. But how is it going to help me in my own life if I'm using that not against others, but using that to compare and validate myself to others, their opinions, their views, their beliefs. People thought RDM was a hobby. I had family members who thought RDM was just a hobby I did on the side while I was running a gym. Like, you're kidding, aren't you? It can't be from other people. Yes, it's hard when they're close to you. Yes, it's hard when they influence you. Yes, it's hard when you value their opinions, their views, their beliefs. But the overruling factor, man in your life has to be. It's got to be you. So when I became a father for the first time, feels like many, many years ago now. I got another one on the way. Can't stop, right? You know, have three kids very, very soon. It didn't work. How can I raise my fist and I'll show you the type of father I can be when I'm not getting any sleep. She's nearly four. She still doesn't sleep. When I'm down and out, I'm struggling mentally, physically, putting on weight, becoming that little fat boy again. How can I show the world when it comes to something I'm so invested in? That's a part of me, but it isn't. They're my blood, but they're not me. It's a battle you'll never win, mate. And that's the big thing as a father, you use as leverage as an anchor point to demand and raise up the best out of you and yourself. That's it. RDM is for me. Me being the greatest father, me loving my children, me providing, supporting my children, that's for me. Because I know if I can be the best I can, they're going to get looked after anyway. My life is lived through transparency, in really having a higher level of being the best I can be for myself, with myself, with my family, that's a given. That's it. There's nothing else that matters. Because if I can be my best version, when I'm living a life of love, expansion, growth and being the best I can be, everyone who's in my environment, in my circle, is going to win and benefit anyway because it's going to help them hold up the mirror and ask themselves some quality questions and ask them what they can do and how they can dive into their life and be the best that they can be. That's a very powerful thing to have. When you start to recognize that, you start to see that, well, there is a lot here, there is a lot that I can do. There's a lot that I can live and breathe through my own life. In raising my belief, not doing it for someone else, that was the big revelation I had. Have a think about that. Have a real long, hard look at yourself. And not in a judgmental way, not In a reactive way, not in an ego way where you're getting defensive or macho man bullshit or masculine or trying to get on the attack or the forefront. Have a look inside of your own life and ask yourself, what are the limiting beliefs that I'm having in my life right now? What are the limiting beliefs that I have right here and right now inside of my life and inside of my world? And when I start to see that, I can then start to build out some patterns of new ways moving forward, Some patterns of things that don't work for me anymore, some patterns of things that I probably shouldn't do anymore. And you start to recognize that your own limiting beliefs a lot of the times come from you. Nothing else. No one else. You've allowed that to happen. You've allowed that to come into your world. You've allowed that to be part of who you are. So look at them, list them, acknowledge them, thank them. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being part of my life. And then eliminate them. That's the greatest thing. It's what I said last night in our video with the dads. This is what's important for us. Not sweeping it under the rug, turning a blind eye, holding pinkies and chanting around magical mushrooms. This is the real world. Some hard shit ahead for all of us, right? Don't focus on that. Focus on how great you can be. You don't know what's possible, and I mean that in a positive light. You don't know what you can do. So don't fucking deny yourself before the fact. And the fact is you're living an entire life because that's the chance you have. You get to wake up every single day. You don't have to. You get to hope. This is ringing through to you in a positive light. This isn't about motivational speeches on YouTube with rocky videos and pumping you up. This will pump you up. This will motivate you, but it's going to elevate your state with something real that you can get tangibly after enlisting the faults that you see in yourself and recognizing that, well, they don't even need to be faults. Why are they there, Al? Why are these here? These are limiting beliefs. Set the bar as high as possible and then break through that. What have you got to lose, man? What's the alternative? That's the big thing I'll leave you with here today in our episode, raising your belief. What have you got to lose? What is the alternative? The alternative, what you've got to lose comes from A lot of taking no action. The bullshit you feed yourself, which leads to a lackluster life of regret which is going to affect your unborn great great grandchildren that you'll never even meet. I say that not from a line of pressure or overwhelm. I say that from a line of perspective. Wow, what a phenomenal opportunity I have. All I need to do is live my best life and it's going to echo down through the eternity of my generations and those I touch and really fuel them with what's possible in their life. Isn't that incredible? That's amazing. Like that in itself. Through you. The greatest thing possible for us that we can have here. Not the limited time we have it. How old are you? 30? 40? 50, 60. Goes quick, doesn't it? Interviewed Pop last year, late last year. Is 94 now, man. This guy's living with horse and cart now. He's in the world of the Internet like horse and cart. Not that long ago he says to me, al, feels like yesterday, mate, I was having my firstborn. I'm 94. Well, he said he was 93, he's 94 now. Pretty amazing stuff. This is what it's about. You'll only ever do what you believe you can do. Raise your belief and you'll raise what you can do. Raise your self belief through valuing yourself, through loving yourself. I love myself and who I am. I love this body I have. It's not lean and shredded like when I was regionals and an athlete, but it doesn't need to be. The 24 year old version of Raoul. Couldn't fucking stand up to one day of the version of Alitier right now. I don't care what his body composition is. He wouldn't. He'd get eaten alive by who I am today. I consistently seek growth and expansion in my life, which is the reason why I continue to win. I get punched in the face every single day. You have no idea how much time, how much I get punched in the face. But I don't even see it that way. It's not even a roadblock for me anymore. It's like, okay, this is a speed up. What do I need to do to get rid of that? What do I need to do to get rid of that? And just keep focusing on that one thing and moving forward. Very, very simple for me. Apply that through raising your level of belief and you raise that in the mind and then in the body, in your actions, what you do, your physical health, how you move. And that reinforces the power of the Mind and the power of your belief. And then that reinforces the actions you do. This is the nature and the reciprocal energy that you have when you invest in yourself internally. And then you allow by investing externally, the environment that serves you best, with your best interests at heart. Friends, family, whatever, it doesn't matter. The amount of people that support me at the level that I thought would compared to the level that actually do. It's ridiculous, the difference. But what rings true now for me is it's got to be me. It's my life. I'm doing this for me. The benefit is everyone in my circle, in my environment. Well, they win as well. Because what I'm speaking and preaching and living is something pure and a life of really lifting up, an expansion of being the greatest we can be. And when you do that, mate, I promise you, you cannot have regrets. That's the greatest fear anyone should have. But you won't have them. It's impossible. You can't. It is not possible. It is a law, a universal law. Get out there. Get after. I hope this has inspired you and given you something to think about. How much are you lacking in your own belief? How many limiting beliefs are there in your life today? And visualize this, not daydream. Have a real think about it and make sure you're creating this internally and externally. There's two realities. Don't just be some sort of wizard in here and be this visionary that nothing happens. Apply this to your life as a human being and what you're doing when you do that and you raise that belief. Your beliefs, not mine. You don't have to have the level of belief in doing X, Y and Z in your life like I do. It can be whatever you want, man. This is your world. But when you do it, I promise you, you will break through and you'll see a scope and perspective and light that you have not seen for a very long time or possible because you become desensitized. Life rol through us. It grinds us into the ground. We feel like we're in the pit. Next thing you know, we're in our late 50s, our kids are growing up, they're in their 20s. You've had your 21st birthday parties and all that other shit. And it's like, what's left of my life, Al? That's right. What is left? Remember, the journey is the destination. The destination changes as moving targets. And when you hit a destination, you just don't roll over and die. You keep moving the journey and the type of journey you have in your life is is the destination and that is determined and dictated upon by your level of belief. You raise that level of belief and you'll raise what you can do. Hope you've enjoyed this. Tune in for another episode. Make sure you tap into last one. The last one with Shannon Branson was phenomenal. That guy, man, he is amazing in what he does, what he lives and preaches and speaks. So make sure you check in that if you want to see me anywhere. Different podcast platforms, YouTube my email is available alexdadmovement.com our website obviously realdadmovement.com everywhere. You'll find us everywhere. Dive on in, get some great stuff and help this, have this help you in liberating your life and liberating what's possible so you can take ownership, get that responsibility back over your own life and keep moving forward on your terms the way that you want. Thanks for tuning in and I'll see you soon. Cheers.