5. "That" Moment I Knew It Was Over

Foreign. Yes. Yes. Here we are. Hello and welcome, everyone, to Real Dad Movement Podcast. My name's Big Al. Big Red. If you're listening or watching this, obviously you already know who I am. Hope you're having a fantabulous day, night or evening. And I just want to jump in today, guys, and talk about the moment I knew it was all over. Talking about my rugby league career and how it came about to be a real eye opener for me, I guess, and an opportunity to look forward in my life and go, well, maybe this isn't for me. And certainly, it certainly came and struck me like a massive lightning bolt. It's funny how it all works. And I'll backtrack a little bit first, guys, and talk about how I got into this and being heavily overweight when I was younger and rising up and through that, a big part of me in validation and, you know, crossing the T's and dotting the I's to feel successful or a level of achievement in my life. A big part of that became physical through the mental, of course. Like, dad was awesome. Put some weights in the gym. Go for it, boys. We had an awesome garage gym, friends coming over, me and my older brothers as well, and throw some tin around. And it was amazing. It was really good. And that mindset and mental toughness, oh, man. I used to challenge myself in that place was unreal. It was almost like that was my hurt lock. That was my pain. That was the pain which became my pleasure. I loved giving myself that pain. You'll never be that fat boy again. You will never be weak again. You'll never be in a position where you can't do it. It's not possible. You are the man. You are a weapon. You're a monster. You will do this. You can do this. All these different forms of positive reinforcement that came through physical movement and entered straight through into the mindset and who I've become today. So it was really funny because I played rugby league when I was 13 for a year, I think. 13 Division 4 or something. I played a handful of games and was horrible and I didn't really do anything and it was pretty funny. And we won the grand final, which I didn't even remember or had any real part to do with as well. And I think I might have trained or something in under 14s for few months and then gave it away and went back to soccer and cricket. I didn't do anything for years and I was still heavily overweight at that stage. Didn't do anything really for years. To do with rugby league. Played a bit at school with my friends. Big shout out to Brad Glenn and the amount of fights and punch ons we nearly had because we were ultra ultra competitive and I absolutely respect and admire that man as well as my other close mates and friends through school for the experiences and the platform from which he your competitive nature can really flourish. And obviously we never had those physical fights which is a blessing. But you know when I talk about competitive platforms it truly was an amazing opportunity for us to strive for something greater. Like to me that that's what competition is not I can beat this guy. It's we are both seeking something greater together. We are both seeking a higher level of performance through and with and because of each other and I'm massive on that guys. A huge, huge inroads and performance based stuff on a personal level comes through that team environment. So anyway moving forward to finishing school being quite fit and strong at that stage. Been doing weight training for five or six years and getting quite serious with it now. I became an adult and everything was forming up as it should and I decided to try out for the St. Mary Saints. They were a team that won sea grade which is the under 19th team the year before they won the competition. So I thought you know what if I'm going to have a crack at this I may as well go for the team which is. I look at it now and it's like it wasn't. There you go. It was complete naivety and going oh, may as well have a crack with the team who won it. And I got in there and had a meeting with the guys there at St Mary's Leeds Club and destroyed the pre season training because I was super fit doing lots of different things as well as my weights and my gymming and the coach Troy Castle Cassie is very very impressed and gave me that shock, gave me the chance and it was a bit of an alienating experience. Became mates with all the boys in the end but at the time they're like who's this bloke? Who is this guy? And I found it hard to make friends to be hon. I just head down, bum up and just put the work in and got stuck into my footy and then went onto the bench, on the bench to the starting lineup and won a few men in the matches and we made the grand final and lost to Brothers or St. Dominic's I think they might have been called at the time. And they were really good, equally as good club with their foundations and what they do and from There had a few different teams and progressed into playing Jersey flag and making the Panthers few years with Panthers in the first grade squads and. And that was awesome. Really enjoyed that experience with the boys there. And I'm signing, going to the Dragons and this, that and the other and fast forwarding bit guys because today isn't about talking exactly about that, it's about the lessons and what I've learned from knowing when to not cut your losses, move forward in your life and take a different approach and I'll talk about all the footy stuff another time. Long story short, I had a contract with the South Sydney rabidos heading into 2012 and being half tane, I already played a few tests for Italy and I was the starting forward for Italy. Going overseas for the World cup qualific. We had Serbia, we played in Serbia. We had Russia, Croatia maybe. I think it was Russia, sorry, Russia, Lebanon. And I think that was right, Croatia. We had those three teams and look those, those teams that were part of our squad. Something's telling me it's not Croatia, but I'll think of it soon guys, and let you know we destroyed Russia. It might have been like 70 nil or something. And Lebanon were a very, very good team. We're playing them last and we beat them quite convincingly. Maybe it was Serbia who was in our group because we did play in that country and we beat the other team. And then coming up to Lebanon, the last team and I had a contract with SAS for the next year, they said you can go and this was with first grade said you can go but you've just got to pass a physical or medical when you come back. And I'm like, yeah, that's fine, nothing will happen to me overseas. Over in Italy, it was an amazing experience. My life a month that huge, huge respect and admiration for looking back on my life, even though it was obviously filled with a massive level of adversity in this last game against Lebanon. Always strapped my shoulders out of shoulder. Rico previously, lots of Rico's at that stage and we played against Lebanon. This team, man, they were massive. There were some big boys in this team and the first 10 minutes was like a bloodbath. It was, yeah, they brought it all right and we were matching them, but Jesus, they were, they were the next level. And having to tune up games to other teams that weren't really up to standard, up to scratch with us put us on the back foot a little bit. Even though we did really well against them and it was a tough game. I think Cam Serraldo, who was part of the team at that stage, he's a starting second rower, He, I think, cracked his ribs. One of the other guys split their head open and about 13 or 14 minutes in, under a tackle, bang, Shoulder goes. Shoulder completely destroyed. Dislocated, and it was still out. I'm just laying there. An immense amount of pain. I remember getting taken off the field and then the ambulance came. And it's. Whenever massive injuries come, adrenaline, everything comes into play as well. It sort of was just a really surreal moment where everything was in slow mo. The game kept going. I think we're down to two or one on the bench, very tough, and there's nothing I could do, obviously. Shoulder was gone and I went into the ambulance. And it was really funny because when they're taking me to the hospital and this is in Serbia, and not many of them speak English, when they take me to the hospital, they're jabbing me with stuff and giving me fluids, and it wasn't taking away any of the pain. It was unbelievable bearing pain and was still dislocated at the time. They got me into the hospital. I'm in there and this hospital. And Serbia is a beautiful country. There's some amazing places, but there's places there that from, I think in the 90s, the bombings that happened, that still haven't been changed or even touched. And this hospital was like that. It was like a war zone. And there were people there with some pretty crazy injuries in their own right and blood and lots of different things in whatever was happening in their world, which was a scary thing for me, being 26 at the time and never really left the country, and growing up in a loving home and that sort of trauma has never really seen my eyes. It was pretty scary. And I'm this big white dude in footy shorts with no shirt on, with his shoulder that looks all mangled in footy socks and boots. And everyone's obviously looking at me going, who is this person? Who is this alien? And it was. It was the moment, probably the biggest moment in my life to date, where I've never felt more away from home. I've never felt more alone in my life. Just sitting there, the other side of the world, knowing my career was gone, it was shattered, and I just knew it was that stage then sitting there in immense pain. No doctors could speak English. It had been hours at this stage. Haven't even heard the results or what had happened because I still cared about the team and whether we made the World cup or not. We had to win to get in. Ended up being a draw by the way as well. It was 18, 18 all 19, 1819 all 2019. I think it ended up being 20 all dropped goal bonanza in the last eight to 10 minutes and we ended up making it. I didn't play, but Italy made the World cup, which was, which was awesome. And I found that out after the fact hours later. And just sitting there knowing that I'm going to get back, I'm obviously not going to pass the medical with the rabidos. What do I do? I was working with my brothers at the stage and I just felt lost. I felt like, what do you do now? It's just such a massive void. It's part of my life where maybe initially for the wrong reasons, looking at glory, fame, money. So it got me into rugby league, but then for some right reasons, challenging my body. Look what you've achieved, look where you've come from, look what you've done with your life. Turning from this massive, fat, overweight, unhappy, unhealthy boy into this guy who's the pinnacle of sport in its own right. In one sport in particular, in rugby league. And that was gone, you know, but doing that and striving and driving myself to challenge myself to be the best I can be was one of the reasons why as well, Rugby league was purely that vessel at the time in which I used it. So they were right. There's no right or wrong, but there were reasons, you know, some intrinsic, some physically tangible reasons why I went after rugby league and, and it became ingrained in me, even though I only played for six years. And that was a moment, a defining moment for me was again, like I said, halfway around the world, knowing deep down it's all over and I didn't know what was next. And I've been a PT since I was 17, trained clients, done that sort of stuff, little bit on the side and I was in the industry getting my certifications in year 11 or 12, starting year 12, and that was year 11. Sorry. So I've had that for a long time and I've been, I've had been a PT for 16, 17 years now. But that was never the primary focus, even though the fundamentals, when I look back now, my life was always about helping people achieve the best they can be and achieve greatness in their own right, not just in the mind, through nourishing the body and wellness and all those sorts things of things and having an optimistic outlook in all circumstances. And I had the same with this, but it was just that deep feeling of, it's all over, you know, this is it. This is when I knew it's not. You have a RICO hour, you'll come back. And Italy helped me, like, the Italian rugby league. Like, they helped me, looked after me with getting my shoulder operator on, which obviously I needed full reconstruction again when I got home. And it was like, well, this is. This is it. You know, I'm not just going to get a recoil and keep moving forward. I've broken my jaw, my cheekbone twice. Had an elbow operation, two shoulder reco. Well, one reco and another one coming up. Knee reconstruction and three other operations on my knee. Enough's enough. And it was that moment. And it's funny, you know, because when I look back on my life, I look back and I don't see warning signs of, this is when you should have packed it in. Like, I look at that and go, okay, back in 2007, when I broke my jaw, maybe that was the moment when I'm drinking hot dogs liquid through a straw. Nice pink color. And that was something else. I'll tell you what tasted nice, though, was that the sign to go, just pack it in now. Rugby league's not for you. Like, you can be the big, tough man, you can be the Viking, the warrior, but at what cost? You're going to be 30 and you're just going to fall apart. 35, and your body falls apart when you've got another 40 to 60 years to live. You know, none of those came through to me as well, because collectively, those experiences, those adversities, what I've been through, and I manage my body well, I look after myself well. They've shaped and molded me with a level of life experience, a level of understanding of human body, biomechanics, how we work, how to get the most out of yourself, and how to really overcome and have an optimistic outlook in choosing what's important to you in any time. When there's fire in your life, when I'm really struggling, what's the initiative I can take? What can I do to move myself forward in my life? That is a massive gift that I feel I have to offer the world. In conjunction with comprehending things that may be either too technical or too far left or right, with spirituality or science and bringing that together in a nice translated way in which we can have connection. Life is connection. And this is something that has collectively come together through all of these different experiences. But those experiences are not, not enjoyable at the time, are they? Like, whoever looks back might the hardest things that happened in my life are the greatest. I look back now, they're the greatest. Not at the time. And when I was sitting over there, the other side of the world, we still had, I think, about five or six days till I came home. When I knew it was all over. I didn't have that outlook. I was optimistic about, you'll be okay, Al. You'll pull through. But there was no clarity or structural certainty in what was next in my life. And I feel blessed that either myself or a higher level of Al speaking, whispering, tapping him on the shoulder, said, just keep moving. You're going the right way. It took me into a position where the opportunity came and start my own gym, classic wellbeing, and start it with a friend. And it was awesome for a couple of reasons. It gave me the platform to find myself properly, find myself this time in a transitional format where that competitive nature, that void that was missing, that validation, that acceptance and belief within myself in a physical performance point of view was still able, was still there, was still present for me to tap into. And I feel like that was important in my life now. Over those years where I was running CrossFit, well being, I made no money, I just invested myself, didn't do marketing, any of those sorts of things, grow it or run it as a business. I didn't know how to run businesses. I just focused on myself and did regionals three years in a row. And again, that was something that again gave me another set of skills and a different craft in which to look at opportunities, position and what's important to you and where to move forward next in your life. And I think that's important for a lot of you guys, irrespective of if you're using sport or physical performance as your arena to look at positions and areas of your life and know when it's not about giving up, it's not about quitting. Know when this has served its purpose. This has given me what I have needed at this stage of my life at this time. I can now not necessarily wash my hands of this, but I can now look at this with clarity and certainty on what it has provided me with the lessons and opportunities I now have and the steps I can seek and look to put in place to move forward. Now that's the hard one. The steps. What do you do? You don't know. What you don't know. Where do I start? Where do I begin? No one knows. I didn't grow up saying that I was going to own a gym or be A business owner. I grew up saying I'm going to be doing podcasts on May 23rd in talking to people about how my career has been destroyed. Yeah, I grew up saying to dad, I was going to play cricket for Australia. Son, you can do anything you want in this world as long as you put your mind to it. I will never forget that. And that has been a phenomenal piece of advice, mother and father, that mum gave me as well, which has really shaped and molded that high level of belief. And you know what? If you want to call it optimistic, Delusional. Delusional optimism. Different things that this isn't real. It's not the real world. The reality is whatever you want it to be, regardless of whatever tangibles are out there on success or runs on the board, in different elements of life, you can absolutely get after with a level of energy and presence, whatever it is that you want to have a crack at. And that's what life is about. Going through different steps and stages to find yourself. I mean, here we are right now, and I love my gym right now. Rock and mana, what I'm doing. There's amazing people there. It's a great community, but here we are right now. I found different ways in utilizing technology and using the experience I have and the runs on the board, different elements of my life, to create a different platform for people to tap into, to connect with, to look at. How can I change my life? How can I move forward? And these moments will happen for you guys. There's going to be moments when, you know, it's all over and nothing lasts forever. Nothing does, nor should it. Why should it? There's an evolutionary process here in different stages of your life. And when I say nothing lasts forever, I'm talking about these stages. I'm not saying no relationship should ever last forever. No work ethic or output or, you know, principles and values and the intrinsic alignment of what's important to you, which we continue to look to, nourish and grow and move forward with, they can last forever. Absolutely. They can be a part of your entire being that continually grows as you get older. But the outside stuff, the externals, the extremities, none of them, this too shall pass. These things come and then they go. They come and then they go and they enter your life for what's perceived to be different reasons, which is why I'm massive on perception and. And shifting perspective. It's the same word in certain situations or elements of your life that maybe there is an opportunity, maybe there is something here. I'M seeing this, I'm always down about I hate my job, I hate work. I'm not enjoying this or look at it. And it's not about finding the silver lining in the cloud. It's look at it as what can I do right now to put myself in a better position to move forward in my life, regardless of whether it is with this career in 1, 3, 6 months time, 12 months time. But to make you better, to help you become better in your own right. This isn't a judgment system based off a value or a metric of values that I feel you should have and I enforce on you. They're opinions. Yeah. There's some absolutely universal truths out there in the world and they apply to all of us. But in terms of you, you do you live your life, live your life the best that you can for that given moment and that given day and that changes. We're not always amped and wired up to the, to the eyeballs every single minute of the day. It doesn't work. We are having a human experience and there's rhythms and cycles in how we work physically and mentally and emotionally. But the big key indicator here, guys, which is what I wanted to talk about in this episode and wrap up, and I hope this has come across in a nice, clear and compassionate way, is sometimes you just got to know when it's time to move on and move forth with certain areas or aspects of your life. Purpose. That's a very powerful word, I think for me, I definitely feel that's probably, and I'm really good with words, with analogies and all these sorts of things. And I create some pretty cool stuff and I like that. And that's not suiting my knowledge. I just like that level of creativity within myself. But looking through and going, purpose. Everything in life is purpose. And it's not a, you know, a knee deep diving deep purpose with everything. I'm not talking about just zoning out and getting to a meditative state, going this coffee I'm having right now at 6am what is the purpose? And really diving into that in some sort of higher sense or spiritual sense. This is about going, what's the point? What's the purpose? Don't just do just because, don't just do something just because it's been done before someone's doing it or someone said you should or sometimes a lot of the time, most of the time people do things because it's what they've known, it's what they've been conditioned to do, it's what they've been taught and it's not saying that you had bad parents. There's no right or wrong here. It's about finding you, your truth aligning with you regardless of where you're living in your life, regardless of what age you are. It's that double sided coin of your world, your reality, life and death. Chances are you're going to have a long life. You're going to have a really long life and you've got lots of time to get after things you don't control. That the universal truth is at any stage it can go. So it's about balancing those two of I'm living in the now, knowing that right now is sort of almost certainly already in the past when that now happens, moving towards progressively better nows that come later to push me into a life of happiness. Not full of because you can't have day without night, but a life of happiness, fulfillment and love in experiencing that which is life and that's important, guys. And understanding and knowing that gives you that level of appreciation, reflection on where you've been to where you're going. That gratitude of what we have truly is a blessing and a gift. 1 in 400 trillion chance of being here. Lazy sperm and moving yourself in the light that you know what, everything is going to be okay. Regardless of what happens near the end or at the end, everything's going to be all right. It's going to be okay. But what do I want to do right now? Because what you'll only ever experience is the now. Like there is no end game. So if what you're experiencing in the now isn't you, it's not serving you, it's not moving you forward. Not the best you can be. And you may not know what that answer is yet. Dabble in it. Have a crack, have a go. Try different things. We've got different duties, responsibilities, obligations, but it doesn't matter. There's always choice. There's always a way. You can always move forward and have that level of acuity or, or inner awareness to know that, okay, if this isn't serving me, that's cool. I'm not just going to wash my hands of it and go live off in the woods. This is something that let's start planning forward. Not necessarily an exit strategy, but a transitional period. What can I do to move myself to present different opportunities that I may not know exist yet, but they will if I serve myself, do the best I can be and move myself forward in the right direction in my life? And that's what really helped me looking back now and these are things got like when I talk transitional. That was back in 2011. I had the October 2011. I had the operation in December, Shola Rico but literally when I came home, medical next week, failed, lost my contract, torn up career gone, destroyed and sold my home, couldn't afford repayments. Lots of different things. So you're looking at 2011 and for the first time in a long time and not that the other things by any means mistakes. Love Royal Camino. Loved being part of wellbeing. I've done additional programming, online coaching for other people, love rdm. But in terms of myself, this feels like I am now moving into a transitional light. That is. And that's Al. Al is. He's not his fan himself. He's growing into what he can become and that's that level of optimism that I have with other people as well. There's old person, famous sort of quote, see a man, see a person as they currently are and they only get worse. See someone as what they could be and they become what they should be. And that is that absolute energy and that force out there that you've got to have within yourself starts with you first. Have it within yourself first and then express that and push that or portray that onto others and give that gift that to others be the gift in this world that truly is. This is an eight year period like 2011 in nearly eight years that it's gone through all these different patterns of Here we go, ours, finding another way to express who Al can be. And I got to tell you guys, this is just the tip of the iceberg. You ain't seen nothing yet, but it's quite an exciting period as well. And that is what life should be about. There are things that terrify me, things that bring fear into me, things and elements that I look on and I know they're right. When I'm talking and I'm visualizing being on stage, speaking, helping people, seminars, workshops, creating change in many, many, many people's lives and different formats and ways that it plays out and ways to execute and stretch and grow, to expand, not contract. They give me that feeling, those butterflies. And that's awesome. That's when I know I'm on point and that's when I know that my life is heading in the direction as always, as it should, but in a direction where I've got those opportunities, that ability there. Hope this has been a nice episode for you guys. Use the word nice. Calming, appreciative, formative, informative. But this Is something where it's just me. Truth and transparency is what you'll get, guys, in helping hopefully open your eyes, the eye specialist give you a new set of eyes to see what's possible, to see that there are opportunities, to see that there's a way. No matter how down and out you feel in any given shape or form, there is always a way. And sometimes I don't use the term cut your losses. Sometimes it serves you best to look at a situation, circumstance or a setting that you find yourself in regards to the level of control you have to take ownership and liberate yourself and really own and get that responsibility over where you are right now to go, okay, what can I do to move forward and change? This is coming to an end, or this is the end or coming to an end of a period of my life that serves purpose. I may not know what that purpose is right now, but it's serving me something that I know I will find in some way, shape or form at some stage. Which is why it's important to always have your eyes open, guys, and have that scope and that visual on what's possible in the opportunities in your life and take those steps. Take a step. Movement. Action is true power. Knowledge is nothing without action. All right, awesome, guys. This wraps up episode five. We're racking them up now. We'll have 50 in no time. Two a week, guys, every Monday and Thursday. Love your support. Loving the private messages. Thank you so much for your support. I hope this is continuing to add value in all different shapes and forms with different areas of my life. What I'm diving into, what I'm helping and assist with the guests that I'm getting on. I love this, guys. It's an awesome way to express and communicate, especially if you're in cars or driving or if you are watching these things on YouTube and seeing me visually, it's been amazing and I'm looking forward to some of the next episodes that are coming out and releasing to you. And at any stage, if you ever need anything, please reach out. You don't have to be a father. Even though a lot of what you see is based around rdm, it's movement moving yourself physically and emotionally towards the life that you truly want to continue to live and branch off and expand into. Thanks again for your time, guys. Really appreciate it if I don't see you. Good afternoon, good evening and good night. Thanks, guys. I'll chat to you soon. Cheers.