52. Are You Enough? Being Enough.

Foreign. So welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement podcast. My name's Al. You guys should already know that here we are asking the question, are you enough? And being enough. Let me start by saying this. And I do enjoy doing the individual ones. Whether you want to call them mindset or motivational or pump up. If you give, if it gives you energy and jacks you up, unreal, outstanding. But it's always with purpose. Purpose in helping you ask quality questions of yourself. Holding up that mirror together and then looking at what you can do to move forward. Action. Action is key. Remember, knowledge is nothing without action. Knowledge is a very simple, small form of action in here. We then now need to go and create it in the greater reality outside in the real world. And that comes about with true power. Learning, doing and then reflecting. So when it comes to being enough, I just want you to know, whether you're watching this, watching this live, or listening to this, you are enough. If you are watching this, yes, you have the gift and the ability and the potential. Doesn't matter what amounts in your bank account, how much you weigh, or what life experiences you have had to date, you are here and now, listening or watching this. You are breathing. There's always an opportunity and there's always a way. When we get crystal clear on life being a series of choices, we begin to understand that the choices we make, while they don't define us, they define the patterns which ultimately carves out the largest portion of our life. About 91% of us of our life is spent autonomously. Pretty crazy, right? How 9% could be the difference, Al? How could it be? It's got me. But when you look at it, you really understand that everything we do a lot of the time comes down to the pre patterning or conditioning that we built out in the subconscious through what we're doing now consciously in our brain and mind. A lot of times. My point is this. A lot of the times what we're doing consciously in very, very small doses, feeding ourselves in very little ways is talking ourselves out of things, thinking ourselves out of things and pulling ourselves down. You don't want to talk about Tall Poppy Syndrome and the bullshit that is rife through Australia and has been for a long time. Start with Tall Poppy ing yourself because that's what a lot of you do to what I've done for many years. It's taken me 20 years to finally feel like I'm home. And whilst I don't want to wish my life away, I'm very excited for the next 20 to 30 years of my life in which I will continue to build and build because of the foundations that I' that I now have in knowing that I am enough. What do you mean by that, Al? If I'm enough, then I don't need to do anything. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is you're already enough to go and be more. You don't need to wait for a summer or a season or some time of the year. You don't need to go and wait for some sort of miraculous event. You don't need to wait and go to some sort of big pumped up event. Whether it's a two day or five day event or what you need to recognize is inside of you. It always has been and always will be. The problem is we default, we get busy, we sweep things under the rug and welcome to, welcome to 2030. Welcome to 2040. It feels that way, doesn't it? I get it, mate, and I feel it. And I understand the pressures and the external global things that we face. And when I say global, I'm talking about, you know, making a career in our lives, family, looking after our family relationships. Those the five points of significance in your life, which is you, tribes, the environment, you're part of the service and value add to the world. And on the other side is your family, being a father and then your relationships, intimacy, your queen. Whether you have one or not, whether you've had multiple or not. These are the areas as a man that we engage, invest a lot of our time in life. Hard part is we don't invest a lot of time in ourselves. That's the truth. So some quality questions I want you to ask yourself. You're listening or watching. This is when have I actually backed myself and looked myself in the mirror and gone. I fucking love myself. I love who I am, where I am right now. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. How and why? Because I'm here right now and this is where I am right now. That's why and how a series of what my life has led up to this point. It doesn't mean that I can't change. It doesn't mean I can't shift and mold. But my identity comes down to a series of choices, not the moments that I spend. Frequently looking at yourself and just saying, and I do this and it's not a love. Oh, like I love looking in the mirror. You know why? Because it's the toughest person that I'll ever have to answer. To not my children, not my wife, not the dads inside of our dm, not you, it's me. I've got to look in these eyes and look in the mirror and go, are you proud of where you are? No. What are you going to do about it? Never, ever finish a conversation with yourself with a statement that doesn't have a line of action that follows. Reflecting, taking time out for yourself, creating space. Great. Awesome. Being present. Unreal. When it comes to looking at the patterns you're building inside of yourself as you enter or you're already in the second half of your life, you start to realize that there are many things that aren't lining up at the moment. There are many. It just. You hear those pills, like, I just don't have any luck, you know, this happened. This happened. That happened. What? Well, you're fucking attracting it into your life, mate. Because that's all you think about. It's an episode I did with my dad talking about the October 2070 rule where you want to spend 10% focusing on what you don't want in life. That's it. That's your point. Minus a. We call it the pink elephant. You know, don't think about the pink elephant. It's exactly what you're going to think about, right? 10% max, 20% I call future fury. What's that intent, that direction, that intensity that you want to get after and get out there and get that true north. Creating your own compass of what you desire in your life, what you do want. 70%. A large portion is in the now. What are you doing now? What can you do now? What are the actions that you can take and apply right here and now in this present moment to move forward. That's the large portion. We need both reflect and draw lessons from the past, look towards and chart the future. But everything and asking the question what you can do all revolves around the now. Problem is you might spend 70% thinking about the pink elephants. A lot of the conversations I have with dads is, you know, I don't want this, Alan. And I just don't want to feel this. I just don't want to be that. I just don't want to have that. I'm like, fuck, mate, what do you want? What do you want? And what are you going to do about it now? See, a lot of the times you'll see on the pages and all the various platforms, I'm by no means a hard ass. Like, I'll move mountains for you. Like, if we're connected, man, I'd fucking bust my ass. For any father who's willing and committed to grow and change his life for the better. And I ultimately, a lot of the times, it's never coming from a place of judgment where I'll hold up the mirror and I might call out a lot of shit because there's a lot of shit in my life that I've had to and continue to ask myself and question and call out of myself. It's the little version inside of us. Are you being enough? When you feel and think and believe that you're not enough, you never will be. You think you can or you think you can't. You're right. And I've heard that, I've seen that a million times. But it's such a simple, fundamental. I posted it the other day, a Facebook post, where you will only ever do what you believe you can do. Raise your self belief and you'll raise what you can do. It's very simple. Even if there's a minute glimmer of hope that you can do something, you'll do it. Otherwise, you wouldn't, you simply wouldn't. If you knew that there was 100%. It will not work. It's done. I am done. Regardless of what the motive is or the goal at hand, you won't do it. So asking yourself these quality questions brings you to a level of reflecting and going. Am I being present? Am I living in the now? Am I spending 70% focusing on the pink elephants? And 20% on what I do want, which is largely outweighed by more than triple of what I don't want, which I'm putting energy and pouring my life into. And 10% being present in the now. And we talk about creating space for the dads in our dm, having time out, meditation, new time, whatever you want, that's 100% in the now. Being present, we should do it every day. Could be five minutes, could be 50 minutes, doesn't matter. Can involve multiple environments, can be one, can be with music and sound, can be stillness, doesn't matter. It's what works for you. It's what aligns with you. Training for me at a low level, keeping my heart rate under sort of 120, 130, which I can do pretty comfortably. I've got good endurance. That for me is a form of creating space and meditation. Just moving, walking can be one. My point is this. You, you are enough. You have the power inside of you. None of these fathers that we're working with, none of them are different from some of you who may be listening to or watching this and feeling down and out, or feeling hopeless, or feeling like you're a wrecking ball and you just attract shit to your life and you're just knocking down every single thing that you touch. That's an energy that you're reinforcing consciously, even at the smallest level of your thoughts, feelings or emotions. You don't even need to speak it then subconsciously, because of how much you've conditioned that and patterned that into your life. I hope this is coming across clearly. I'm not talking about going too far with woo woo or science. It's about being crystal clear on you are what you continually turn up to be and represent, which is a source of energy. It's what you are, what you think, what you feel. What I'm expressing right here and now, what I'm speaking is a line in the level of energy and frequency from which there is intent, purpose and there is actually information inside of this, not the words, but literally in the frequencies of what you're absorbing. So when you do that and you're absorbing and expressing to the detriment of self sabotage, pulling yourself down, you'll never be enough. You're listening to this right now. You're in a sweet spot, man. You're in the prime of your life where you have the opportunity. It doesn't matter how much you feel like the chips are down or they may be down in your life right now. No one can ever save you. You must save yourself. We're not here to save anyone in rdm, but it is possible. And when I talk about saving yourself, what I'm really talking about is you liberating yourself from the older or lesser version of who you are and who you currently are right here and now. I don't need to understand where all the fathers have been in their life that I work with. I can't. I'm not a liar. It's impossible because for me to understand what you might be going through in your life, I need to live a day in the life of you and your shoes, which is physically impossible. I can visualize and fantasize and think about it and create that reality, but it's never a true reality internally and externally of what you are currently living and breathing. But I also don't need to. All I really care about is drawing lessons and reflections and learnings from the past and then setting a clear scope and sight on where you are now being present and where we're going. That's why the pink elephant only takes 10%. Please understand, as you're drawing in breaths, as you're waking every day, as your eyes open, as the sun sets, as the sun rises every single day, whilst It's a gift, 1 in 400 trillion sperm, everything that comes with really, is the ability that you have to look inside of yourself and go, you know what? I don't have to be here. I get to be here. And that's a phenomenal opportunity. You have so much more power to give than you think. You are already enough. Let me say this again. You have so much more power than you think to give yourself to expressing this life for yourself, for your family, for the world, starting with you being 100% of yourself first. And let me give you a little bit of advice. When we apply action here and we wrap up this session, what I want you to look at is the default of what you go to. Every single time a curveball gets thrown your way. It's all the same. We're all the same, mate. I'm the same as well. What happens is you start eating shit food, you stop moving the body and you stop creating space for yourself. So let's reverse that next time. When you're in some sort of rhythm or flow in your life and what's happening in your life at the moment and you feel like you're present and connected, everything's going great. Because there'll be fucking curve balls, man, that come that you don't even know about. There are plenty coming for me. They come every day, and I'm strong enough to handle them, but I continually get stronger so I can handle the bigger ones that are coming because. Because they are, and they always do. And when we recognize this and you look across the timeline of your life, it's baffling to see how much we just get busy and sweep things under the rug and turn a blind eye and think it'll be okay. Life gets harder, way harder. And if we don't look after ourselves, physically and mentally, you get way worse. Doesn't get easier, it gets harder. So we need to be stronger. We need to become more. We need to grow and become a greater version of ourselves, which you can. You can be that. Like I've said many times, like, even though physically in my 20s, I'm fitter than what I was, now in my 30s, I would eat that man alive. Today, when it comes to delivering value and leading my own life, leading these fathers and men and delivering value and service to the world, it takes different forms, but I still look after myself physically. So I can nourish myself mentally. So when it comes time to applying action in your life, when these curveballs come, not if, but when they come for you and it starts to knock you off course a little bit, start to train consciously when you. Whether it's mantras, affirmations, written pieces, any motivational things. My entire whiteboard there is covered with things that I connect and commit to every single day, including your environment, RDM or not. This right now and here is part of your environment. Take it and run with it. Grab the bull by the horns and go with it. Because when these adversities come, very simple. Reverse the process of what you're currently doing and be consciously aware. Think it, speak it, feel it, do it, make it who you become. That's your identity cycle. Don't eat shit food, don't stop moving the body and create space for yourself. Nourish at a chemical and cellular level. Nourish yourself so you've got more energy that will mentally give you more runs on the board, more endurance to handle whatever you're facing. Endurance, resilience, persistence, whatever you want to call it. Then when you're moving the body, what you're doing is creating that chemical balance and having an outlet and release. There are two things you need. You need realignment and you need a release. Release comes through physical exercise and activity and engaging in physical environments, moving outdoors are great things that are natural and tap into the powers that we have in reconnecting us with who we are, but having an outlet that way. Realignment is connecting who we are by having a recalibration of where you're at and where you can be. Meditation, stillness, music, journaling, reading, all of the above doesn't matter. It's what feels right for you when you do that, the right way in creating space, moving your body and nourishing the body, you will then start to build a new pattern, a new pattern that changes in knowing, hey, I am enough. I can do it. Al. It is possible, because I'll tell you right now, like I said, you have so much power that you can tap into and you are already enough. Are you enough right now to stay the same version as you currently are for the rest of your life? Of course not. Because you're wasting future moments in time of the version that you've already reached, the version that you currently are. So why would you do that? It doesn't make sense. Which is why I'm a strong believer that the whole growing or dying, seeking growth in your life, when you just settle doesn't matter how great life is when you just settle for the long period, eventually something will happen and something will catch up to you. And even if nothing happens, you'll look over your life and ponder the question, you know what? Maybe I could have done this or could have done that in my 50s or in my 60s or in my 40s. I wish I had a go at that. Because I'll tell you right now, people don't regret the things they did in life. They regret the things that they never did. Because it's created. It's a vision. It's already started here. And then it lives and dies with you, like a ghost there at your funeral, at your death, going, fuck, man, we were your dreams. You could have given us life. You could have breathed life into us. Instead, you let us just simply die inside your mind and heart. Doesn't have to be. And I'll end up with this. Why not? I make big statements about what we do with rdm. It'll be something that's globally recognized. No movement for fathers will ever be as great as what we're currently building, what we will achieve in this lifetime. And people might ask why, they might criticise. I don't really give a fuck. And those people aren't around me. But I ask the question, why not? If I strive out there to have these massive goals and aspirations and enjoy the experience and the journey, because the journey itself is the destination. Destination's finite. That's one point. It's a moment which comes and goes. The journey itself is a continuation of what you're living and breathing every single day. If I aim for that, and I just hit half of it. Jesus. I'll tell you what. Right now, with what I've got planned up here and in here, that'll be a fucking phenomenal life if I reach half of it, that's for sure. And one I'll be absolutely proud of. Because life gets in the way. Don't eat shit food. Don't stop moving the body. Create space and time for yourself. Because when you are 100% within yourself, your family will get 100% of you and they'll get a better version, which will reiterate and rebuild the cycle consciously, but. And then subconsciously of knowing that you are enough. Love yourself some more. Look at yourself in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and go, yes, you know what? Maybe I haven't achieved everything I want to right now, but I'm fucking right here and now. And I'm breathing right here and now. And I will go out and I will get after it and I'll get it done on my terms. And I'll be the best 48 year old I can ever be. For me, this version of me as I stand, I'll be the best 53 year old I can ever be. And so on and so forth. I hope you enjoyed this. Remember, you are enough. You. You're enough to become more in taking the actions that you can take in nourishing the body, moving the body, surrounding yourself with the right environment to enhance and grow into the version that you know you can become. And when you reach that fucking unreal man, good for you. Because guess what? You've reached a new baseline. How good is that? And it's not a line of grateful, but never satisfied. It's a line of grateful, But I'm here to live an express life. What else can I do? Here I am now. I. I reached this version of me. So this version of me no longer has any ground or footing to steal future moments. I continually grow and expand. Does that mean that I grow every single day? Maybe. Maybe not. Some days I lose. But I turn them into learnings that we call them. And I turn them into lessons that I've learned from which I can then catapult myself and grow again the next time or the next day. And that is the journey of loss. And when you do that, I promise you right now, mate, you can't have regrets. It's impossible. You can't, it is literally impossible, have any regrets if you consistently seek growth and challenge and change in your life the right way through a life of love and leadership, not being a fuckwit or an asshole, living your life to be the best you can be, mate, you won't lose. You can't. And everyone around you wins as well. Hope you enjoy this. Remember, you are enough. But where you are right now and being enough isn't going to hold the fort for you when the challenges come down the road. Three months, three years, 30 years. So know that you're enough right now to strive to be greater, to strive to become more physically and mentally in the future version of you that awaits. Take care and I'll see you again soon. Cheers.