56. What’s The Point? Another year later…

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement Podcast. This is Al. Wow, what a journey. So far as I look and reflect over these episodes, it's actually been over a year. When did we start? We started last May. Looks like shit. Episode number 56 here today, talking about what's the point? So reflecting on the year that's been and also the biggest driver in my life, which is what's the point? What's the purpose? What are we trying to achieve here as a father, as a man, as a husband, as a worker or business owner or someone driving their career hard as a friend, as a leader in society, in our own lives? First, there are so many different hats that we wear as fathers, yet we forget that they're hats. Remember, they come on and they go off. Whoever you want to be is down to you. And ultimately, what drives that massively is living a life of purpose. Not talking about fairy stuff and dancing around magical mushrooms. I'm talking about what's the point of anything that you're doing? Does it serve a point? Does it serve a purpose? And I guess just to share a bit of light and reflection on the last 12 months of our Needs podcast, the amount of fathers who've reached out to me, and I'm humbled by it, it's got nothing to do with tooting my own horn. I'm very confident and comfortable in my ability to express a message. But they're contacting me and saying, al, like, thank you, mate. Some of your episodes, some of your messages inside of those have really helped me. And mate, awesome. That's amazing. That's the whole purpose and point of this. There are so many dads that I'll never even meet. And that's okay. It doesn't matter. What I stand for is the message that RDM lives and breathes. It's what we stand for. Like, this is symbolism. The name's got nothing to do with the name written down on a piece of paper, as opposed to what we actually stand for. And a lot of the fathers that I connect with go through. So if you're listening to or watching this, because I enjoy doing them live sometimes as well, please go through and see the golden nuggets and value in every single episode that we have and the different lines of perspective which from a universal message which is riddled through our identity cycle book. What do you want in life? Who do you want to be, and how do you get there? The last one, how do you get there? Is the big one, because for me, this isn't about social Support groups. And I've got nothing against that. That's great. It's better than doing nothing. But sometimes we can fall into this illusion of it actually doing something when it ultimately turns around and ends up doing nothing. And that's the problem with those lines of energy or efforts where there is no real point or purpose on how to actually advance as men and fathers. It's hard. And I love being the message from someone who's 6 foot 4, 110 kilos, muscle bound, who used to want to tear people's faces off, who actually has quite a humble nature and humility to go, hey, you know what? It doesn't have to be all testosterone and macho men bullshit. So I love being that message because a lot of you can look at me and go, well, El's talking about feelings. El's letting the guard down. El's very transparent. And that's what you'll see through every single episode, which we've averaged, I guess, around one a week. I'd love to pump that up to two to three, which I'm looking to try and do and really sharing the message of. It's okay where you're at, mate. You're exactly where you need to be. If you're watching this or diving into this or listening to this, guess what? You can be more, you can do more, but you're here for a reason and purpose. It's got nothing to do with me. It's for you to flick some switches in your head to look at what you can carve out. And the greatest way to have that is with a purpose. The whole point of doing the podcast was for me to reach fathers who, who like all of us, we're too busy, life's too busy. It's just too much. There's always so much going on and we just don't have the time to do anything. Yet we find ourselves with opportunities when we're listening to or watching later at night, forms or valuable pieces of content that can help us move the needle. And that's what I've really loved. And what's changed for me? Huge amount. I no longer have a gym. I had a gym when I started my podcast episode. And I used to have lots of different moving parts in my life where I've dialed it right down in to just literally living and breathing rdm. These courses and everything we've designed and what I've done in the primal powers, the mobility, the mindset, the tribal, they're all great, but everything is around that universal message of the father being the greatest he can be. And you can be that, mate. Please understand that. I need you to know that we have fathers inside RDM where sometimes it takes a few months, but when they click, man, they click. And a lot of the times that click comes from raising your self belief, which comes from being in a nurtured environment. And you, when and when you find yourself in that position, when you raise your self belief and you're in a nurtured environment, all of a sudden the point and purpose of what you do has a greater level of waiting and it has more influence over your life because it's worth it. We're not just wasting shit or just pissing in the wind or just falling down to a lesser version of ourselves in what's comfortable or what we believe to be true. And that's a really interesting piece. When I did the event with the dads on the weekend talking about sacrifice and are you willing to sacrifice certain things today to have the life you want tomorrow? When I started to digest, because I like to process a lot of things, I started to digest it and go, well, is it really sacrifice? Like you're cutting away something that the older and lesser version of you is used to that probably isn't doing you the world of good, so why the fuck would you keep it in your life? If anything, you're sacrificing the better version you can become by holding onto the shit and the shackles that keep you behind on where you can actually be. So when I'm talking about reflecting over the year of podcasts, I've changed massively because I'm always living with a line of purpose and what we're trying to achieve. I started the podcast in quite a generic way for everyone. And I think some of my episodes I started with, hello, boys and girls, it's fathers. That's all I care about. That's no disrespect to everyone else. All of my podcast episodes, for probably the last 40, the first five to 10, but the last big chunk, almost 12 months, has been directed completely to fathers. When dads win, everyone wins. It's a very universal, clear message which holds absolute truth. You can't argue it. In fact, the only forms of abuse or flak I've ever copped has been on some of the ads that I've run from other fathers. And that's okay. Remember, everything you project is a reflection of your internal environment. Projection is reflection. I don't take it personally that I know who I am. What we're doing is Amazing. And what we're doing is helping fathers build the legacy they want the in eternal life, and how they pass on their values, principles and beliefs to their children when we are no longer here. That's very powerful. But you can't tap into that power, mate, until you see and understand the value of purpose and focus. We did an episode on Focus, the Pink Elephant Rule, that was quite a powerful one, where you only put 10% of your focus on what you don't want in life, 20% of what you do want, which is double. That's quite big. And threefold or more than that on what you can actually do now. 70% on the now, taking action in the now, because that's the only thing that'll ever change your past and your future. The past comes before the future. Don't ever forget that. Like what you're doing right now becomes the past, becomes the past, becomes the past. So not to spend this episode on Focus. That was an amazing one. That was the latest one, the Pink Elephant Rule. And we've got amazing guests that are coming up in the next few weeks to really dive into perspective and the power you can have. But the big driver for me is finding out the point and purpose of anything. It's something I always have. I've actually got it written up there on my wall. Every single day I walk in that office, it says, what's the point? What's the purpose? What are we trying to achieve? When you ask yourself quality questions, naturally, as a human being, you want to find the answers, you seek the answers. How we're conditioned. I've got amazing quotes. There's a lot of great quotes going out there as well, where you can go and see quotes and statements, which is cool. It'll elevate your state a little bit. It might get you thinking it might not. But more often than not, you're conditioned as I am, but to find answers. And when we ask ourselves quality questions, we're sparking and provoking that initiation of seeking an answer. Because we're the ones who are asking. Right? Very powerful. What's the point? What's the purpose? What are we trying to achieve? So if someone comes and nags to me or whinges or bitches, not that that really happens much anymore, because those people are out of my life. I would always enter the frame of, well, what's the point? What are you trying to achieve by wasting this time and energy and effort on something that doesn't involve you or doesn't matter or it's not a Reflection of who you are. Is there something constructive coming from this? What are you trying to do now? Make no mistake, there's nothing wrong with sitting back and watching a movie if that's your downtime to relax and kick back. Creating space. We call it an rdm in the ability for you to just take some time out for yourself. What you're doing doesn't always have to be measured as productivity or as productive through a line of the energy expelled. No, no, no. Many times when you take time out for yourself, create space and just connect with you again, it's more productive than any exertion of force or effort ever. Because what it gives you is the ability to realign and reconnect with yourself so you can go out there and do more. My work capacity is very, very big. Like what I do is at a speed rate that very few would keep up with, but it gives me the opportunity to rip in. It tires me out too, but gives me opportunity to rip in, save a bit of time, have high quality because my capacity is there. But also the only reason I that is because I take time out for myself. I create space. And the level of purpose and point behind that is to keep myself flowing as an organism, as a machine, as something functioning, running. The frequency that I need to operate at is very high. Which means, guess what? On the back burner, I need to make sure I'm taking time out. Obviously, I'll take my Nutritus supplement. That's amazing. Best sleep you'll ever bloody have with that. But the point is when you're looking. The point is the point when you're looking for a purpose and you're looking for something that's going to drive your life and move it forward. You need to find and tap into asking yourself the question of what it's actually going to achieve and what you're doing. That sort of comes about with a bit of our true power. When we're looking at true power, which is knowledge, learning something. Knowledge alone isn't power at all. Learning something, but then doing it, backing it up with action and then reflection, what you're doing is you starting to see reflection is important. You're starting to see the outcome of what you did and seeing if it holds further value in your life to continue to do that. Great. Al, this is sounding good, mate, but look, how do I apply this to my life? Well, have a look at what you're doing, mate. I'm not saying you should leave your job tomorrow if you don't feel there's a Point or purpose? What I'm saying is you need to explore your own mind, your perspectives, to go, okay, I'm not happy with this circumstance. What can I do to change it? What can I do to change myself inside it? Can I find a higher level of fulfillment in it? I could pack boxes for a living. But if I made it my goal to be the best, the sharpest, and the most polished and do it the right way and be number one in what I do and have the highest level of success, I will have a higher level of enjoyment. Will I do it forever? No. Will I hate it? Well, no, I won't, because I'm striving for excellence and I'm creating a point and purpose behind it that's driving me forward to grow. But then when I stagnate, because I'm no longer growing in that area, it becomes a challenge, because then you settle and then you find a level of resentment or bitterness or ultimately, unfortunately for many, regret. And you never want to have that. That's the worst thing any human being could have. That's the greatest trauma you could ever have. It might creep in over years and decades. In a small portion, that's killing you as well, but when the big moment comes, that's the realization of waste and fuck, mate. That's one of the worst things any human being could ever have. I don't care who you are or what you've done. So as we look to wrap up this episode in what's the Point? It's very, very powerful and important to actually question A, what you're doing and B, where it's taking you. Okay, so I have two drinks every single night, all right? It helps me relax. And that's it. You leave it there. Okay, well, there's generally a cue. There's the habit, and then there's the perceived reward. That's the cycle of your routines, rituals, habits, patterns, whatever you want to call it, behaviors. Just saying that statement, it helps me relax. Why don't you find something else that helps you relax? Why don't you question the motive behind it? Why don't you question the purpose behind doing it under the laid or in a lengthened period of time, what that's doing to your health and other areas of your life? See, there are so many things where you just cop out on yourself, where you accept that standard within yourself without actually questioning it. You can do that, mate. You can ask yourself questions. I don't question my ability to deliver value to dads, to you, to the world, every day. What I do is I question myself on what I'm doing, what I can do better, and where I can improve. That's a whole list there as well. And then the purpose behind why I do it. And then things that align to me and my family. That whiteboard's covered. This whiteboard is covered. It's got the one thing that I can focus on every single day. And then what's going to get me there? And then what can I apply in achieving that for the week? There are always different lines of distraction and forms of sedation that pull us away from the greatness we can have. Majority of that is slouched on the couch watching television or alcohol. Nothing will distract you or sedate you more and steal your time. Just be cautious of that. Don't spend more than 10 hours a week. Many spend more than 20 in front of the idiot box, as dad used to call it. I can see why he calls it that now. Don't really watch TV anymore. That's not a judgment either. What I'm saying is, as we finish this episode, ask yourself, without living on the edge frantically every day, just ask yourself, well, don't audit on yourself. Is this serving me? Is this moving me forward? What do I enjoy in my life? Is this helping me raise that level of enjoyment? Is this bringing future greater experiences that I can have? Is this leveling me up as a human being? Because the thing that brings significance in our life comes from achievement, fulfillment and contribution. All of those give you meaning. And guess what? All of them give you purpose. What's the point? What's the purpose? What are we trying to achieve? I just want you to spend a couple of minutes as we wrap this up when we're finished, just spend a couple of minutes on some key things. Deep down, we're not fucking emus burying our heads in the sand or whatever animal does that. I'm not sure if emus actually do that. But this isn't about sweeping things under the rug. It's about really aligning with what's important for you by being aware and not just running on autopilot. Having that level of awareness is going to give you the greatest tools possible to ask yourself the quality questions from which you'll seek the answers from which you'll then find a higher level of purpose or point that will drive the actions you have. Because remember, when you exert this energy, just like I'm doing right here and now, I'll never get this energy in time. Back, it's done. I'll rejuvenate my Energy, I'll have more time, God willing. I don't bloody get hit by a bus when I leave here. I've got to stop saying that I don't have just time is very valuable and I use that as an example that it can come for us at any time. But I definitely, touch wood, don't want that to happen. I've got a lot more work ahead of me yet. But the point is, mate, when you ask yourself the questions, you align with what you want. You find a driver in a greater level of purpose, what you can do, you start to see how you can navigate and just steer your life just a little bit. 1% in a different direction. All of a sudden, six months time, look how far I've come out. Look at what I've changed, Look at who I am before you. And that's what we see commonly inside of rdm. Everything we do in RDM is with purpose. We don't throw things to the caution, to the wind. Just go, I'll just do this. Because it gets your heart rate up. What the fuck does that even mean? Gyms are not the answer. It's one very, very, very, very, very small, minute detail when it comes to someone investing in themselves. Incredibly small. Incredibly. Some of our dads just walk. Good for them. But the purpose of the point behind what they're doing in physical movement is to value themselves, prioritize and take some time out for themselves. A few days a week to nourish and look after them, to have an outlet for them, to create space and reconnect 100% just for them. Because guess what? For decades they've given and given and given and sacrificed for the family. We got to bring that needle back, man. You can't have that with some 23 year old just running a training session. You can't have that with having a blanket approach on the template and the programs that you just set for the masses. But I guess that's what separates us and that's what the difference is. This isn't a place about just plugging rdm. We let our runs on the board, do the speaking. Have an amazing day, night, weekend, weekday, whenever you listen to or watch this, hope you've enjoyed it. What's the point? What's the purpose? What am I trying to achieve? You ask yourself quality questions of the things you know do not serve a purpose or a delayed purpose in doing it again and again and again. It's actually a detrimental thing or habit in your life. You'll start to explore and search for quality Answers that can help you shift, help you tap into a better level of awareness. Like awareness. Not autonomy, man. The fucking world lives on autonomy. Look at what's happening at the moment, right? Don't need to say sheeple, but that's the truth. Mindset, very powerful identity cycle. Tap into that awareness. You have to shift your thoughts, feelings and emotions and ultimately your identity through finding a high level of purpose in what you do. The end. Very simple. What's the point? What's the purpose? What are we trying to achieve? You ask quality questions of yourself, you'll start to search for high quality answers. And when you do that, mate, I promise you, you'll start winning. I hope you enjoyed this episode. This is incredible because I go back and look at my very first podcast episode. I can't believe how much I've grown in the last year, but I can because I've worked so hard all the time. Is it hard? Fuck, yeah, it is. But is it worth it, mate? What's the alternative? If you do what's easy in life, your life will be hard. If you do what's hard, your life will be easy. And what that means is if you take the easy road all the time. Not if, but when life gets hard, it will fucking roll through you. Because you're not tough. You haven't built that resilience, you haven't built the internal framework. You don't have a supportive external framework. And ultimately, you don't have the skill sets to improvise, adapt and overcome and navigate the new landscape that is your life. Take the hard road. Not through actively searching for the shit, but actively leveling up yourself and challenging the version of who you are to move yourself and forge yourself into who you can become. Take care, guys. I hope you enjoy this. Look forward to another episode on our Real Dad Movement podcast. Have an amazing day, night, weekend, weekday, and I'll see you soon. Cheers.