61. Al's Absolutes - The 7 Laws For Love, Leadership & Legacy As A Father

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Moving Podcast. I'm your host, Al. I just realized it's been a few episodes since we've opened up and started with a dad joke. I think they're all exhausted from my father and my upbringing in the case where he had several, several joke books and that's all he lived and breathed, telling jokes. So we probably heard every single joke in the world about a million times, that's for sure, growing up. But look, no laughing matter. I'll laugh with the best of them and with the rest of them, that's for sure. I love having a good chuckle, and I do every single day. But what I want to talk about today is real and it's serious. And I do all the time. Look, all of our podcasts are serious in a way that it presents an opportunity for you to get out of your own way and change your perspective on many things. But you've got to back that up with action. You need that. You can't just learn something that does fuck all. Knowledge without action is worse than ignorance because you know what you should do now, but you still don't do it. So what I want to talk about, it's part of this book. It's one of my latest book. I've got the Master courses. There's five books, five ebooks, and 114 coaching videos. It's a massive course. It's changing father's lives. It's IP off the last 20 years, nearly in the industry and ultimately working with over a thousand fathers. And the change we've created has gone into that. Like all the data, everything we've learned and understood and changed and created is in the evolving machine that is this message of being the greatest you can be for dads. And when dads win, everyone wins. That's what I DM is. I mean, you'll see that. You go back to my first few podcast episodes, to where I am now. Fuck, mate. Worlds apart. But that's what life is. You're either growing or dying. Ask yourself that question. Am I expanding? Am I growing? So part of this book, the identity cycle. Master your mind. There's a part of it at the end, a bonus section called Owls Absolutes. And that's what I want to dive into today. Al's absolutes, the seven laws for love, leadership and legacy. As a father now. Yes, they may apply to other people. Who knows? For me, who cares? I'm here for you, man. Like, I'm here just for dads. And that's all I live and Breathe. It's working and helping fathers. That's it. And I know when I work and help with fathers and I help fathers in their own lives, everyone wins. It's what I said earlier, their family wins, their children, their partners, their work environment, the ecosystem that surrounds their life. It is a ripple effect. Like the smallest stone that you can cast, the smallest pebble that you'll cast into a lake can cause the biggest ripple over time and have the greatest reach. And that's what this is about, just turning the screw a little bit in your own life. 1% every single day to consistently get better. But these are the seven laws that I want to dive into and share with you and ultimately helping you change and turn your life around the right way. Ours absolutes, the seven laws for love, leadership and legacy as a father. Now, when I talk about these as absolutes, as laws, as universal truths, you can't deny them, mate. And it's not that I'm pigheaded or ego driven. Al's absolutes is a catchphrase and a funny term. This is just literally packaging and putting together a series of information, insights and learnings and understandings that we've had in the wisdom that we've adopted with working with fathers to move their life forward the right way. And you can't argue with these. It's not about opinion. I rarely work with opinions. I work with data, history, facts and things that can help you expand and change the scope of thinking, your belief systems and patterns. So you don't go from point A to point minus A. The alternative, so you go from point A right up to point B. And that's what this is about, moving your life forward from point A to point B. And the very first one, this first law, this first absolute is family first, you first. Bit of a two pronged approach. What does that mean now, family first, you first. Well, I'm sure you hear the term for many fathers say, you know, family first. Everyone says that family first of all. Course, put your family first by putting yourself first. That's the way to do it. Because when you're operating at 30 or 40%, which a lot of fathers are, when they reach out to me, they're operating the same. Hell, I'm just struggling, giving my all, I'm giving everything. But I just, I can't break through. I can't seem to find a way. It's getting very hard for me. Ultimately, what you're doing through operating at 30 to 40%, yet still giving 100% to your family is you're giving them 100% over 30 to 40%. Now, this isn't about riddles or that sort of stuff. And looking at different ways to solve this formula, it's very, very simple. 100 over 30 will be 30. That's it, the end. So you think you're being selfless. You think you're being this great big martyr by giving everything to your family? Fuck, mate, you're being even more selfish by giving them a lesser version of you. Imagine if you're operating at a 400%, maybe everyone would be happy then, because then you can give a true 100% as well. Now this dives into a bit of a double, bit of a split. I didn't want to make it eight laws, eight universal truths, eight absolutes. What I wanted to do is just make sure I expand on this, which is virtually the same point of recognizing the power of this through knowing that everything you do, you do for yourself anyway. And that's the truth, mate. That's where this really binds, is two sides of the same coin of this first one in being the best you can be first, so you can give those around you who you love and care more. And when you do that, it all dials straight back in to you. Everything you do in this world, you do for yourself. Try and argue that one as well. This is part of your first law family. First you first. I bring family in because they're the closest thing that's a part of your life outside of your immediate environment and your internal environment of who you are. Everything you do, you do for yourself. I wipe my daughter's ass and I get up in the morning, if she's crying and screaming, look after her, not just for her. The byproduct of me caring and acting out of a love of responsibility and leadership is obviously she benefits too. But I wipe her ass at 12 o' clock at midnight and get up and do that because of the benefits that it gives me or because of the consequences if I don't. That's how it works. We're either being driven out of fear of failure or a love for greatness. You can have both. So when you do this, well, the byproduct of those around you when it's done out of a love for greatness, is they win. She gets a clean bum, she gets to go back to sleep, I get to go back to sleep. You know, guys jump in front of a bullet to save someone, oh, that was selfless act. No, he did it for himself because of the preconditioning of where you were that's led you up to the version of who you are, has fantasized and put forth a vision of I will protect someone else at the cost of myself. And that's the significance it gives me inside of my life and my community, that I'm a protector and defender of mankind. There are so many examples, mate, we can go through. And I won't spend so much time on that. Where everything you do, you do for yourself. The natural byproduct, if you're doing it well, and if you're not doing it to the detriment of others, is other people win. The reason why I exercise, I enjoy it, but I don't enjoy getting up before I am in training. But who would I enjoy the benefits of it? It's an investment in myself, it gives me time out, gives me the temperate and nature to have a release, to have a mental outlet, a physical outlet, so I can be more present for my family, spend more time with my family. And ultimately being better father and man, because I'm being better within myself. That's it. So while I'm being fit and healthy and strong, and that has amazing benefits for my family, while I'm getting up early because it gives me more time with my family so I can be with my girls, it's still for me. I'm doing it for me. Everything you do in this world, you do for yourself. Which means if you're going to put your family first, put your family first by putting yourself first, not at the cost of them. I'm not Talking about becoming Mr. Olympia. Training four hours a day. That's bullshit. We're entering the second half now of our life or you're already in the second half. It's very important to understand the priority that lies in with you and what you want to achieve. And seldom will you find it in a middle aged man moving forward in his life, trying to get on fucking stage and be 6% body fat. @ the cost of his family, at the cost of his legacy, the cost of his work, the value adds to the world. Takes us into our second one, our second law, our second absolute, which is perception creates reality. Now look, you're not always going to be able to control what you have around you. Like there are so many things you can't control. I can't control who's gonna watch this? Like I can't control what's happening down there, out there on the road. There are so many variables we can't control. But what I can control is how I choose to say it. And then the steps and actions and perceptions following that, I choose to take moving forward, that's it. And then from there I'm ultimately gearing around a lens and I a scope around what's happening to and around me internally and externally. I'm creating a lens on what that means to me. That's all perception is, that's all a perspective is, what it means to you. How do you choose to form a meaning up out of this? Well, you choose it through your preconditioning, what you've already done and what you've always done, which is hard to break sometimes, and then taking a step back with a level of awareness to go, oh, is this moving me forward? What am I thinking about? Do I have to believe this? Does this serve a purpose? And is this a belief system that holds onto my greater value of moving me forward? Which doesn't happen, does it, mate? Not very often. When we're kept with our own company, we can really destroy ourselves. Self sabotage. The little Al inside, I mean, he's a fuckwit as well. Like they're all little versions inside all of us, right, Pipes up and tells me what not to do. Thank you, little Al. Now piss off and let me be. We all have that. You can have up to 90,000 thoughts a day and you won't speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself. So when we talk about perception, it's really your thought patterns, your belief systems, your actions and what's driven off your emotions and feelings and bundling all that together in how you choose what perception is. A choice to set the next pattern up, to set the next moment up, to set the next period up in your life of what you will do and what you're going to do about it. Like at the time of recording this with Corona and all the bullshit going on around in the world, it's just amazing. Is it mainstream media? Fucking hell. I'll tell you what. You know, when I look at this, I look at many different environments and external environments that even technology has given me the ability to invest in, but I don't need to. Like, why would I invest my energy and my time and effort into something that technology is going to let me see over in Italy, when I'm here on the east coast of New South Wales. That doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense at all. What you perceive and what you invest yourself in will ultimately become your reality. Look at someone taking drugs, you know, hallucinogens. I've never done any of that sort of stuff. But from the stories of what you're seeing here, someone could, well take some drugs and all of a sudden there's a little green dragon on his shoulder. Now, people may see that as a misperception. I don't believe misperceptions exist. Because in his eyes, in his mind, his perception is literally seeing a little green dragon on his shoulder. And that's creating what he believes to be his reality at that point in time. Very powerful. Something I've believed and always stated and said at a very young age. Your perception creates your reality, which is a very powerful thing. Once you back with an understanding and awareness and then action to move your life forward to then level up. Which takes us to our third point, our third absolute projection is reflection. So when you're looking at putting yourself first to be the best you can be, so you can be more for others around you and understand that your perception is going to give you a level of meaning of what's happening to you and what you can do moving forward. It's then on you, mate, to take ownership and go, okay, well, what I then project in my life is ultimately only ever going to be a reflection of my internal environment. The abuse I cop on my ads, which seems to be getting less and less these days. Maybe the dickheads have figured out that I won't stop and they're just pulling away, moving on with their life. People cutting me off on the road, anyone abusing me, anyone getting angry, upset. All these different moving parts where you see an elevated state of emotion that's out of whack or balance, if you want to use that word, although that has its own meaning in itself, really determines what's going on in the inside. Again, using the environment around the world at the moment with Corona and what's happening, what it's showed me is what little control people actually have in their lives. Fear, worry, concern, doubt, anger, rage, bitterness, resentment. All these different natural emotions that then get into a state of obsession or possession around different elements of control, because I can't control that. But I'm going to control how I feel. And the way I feel is definitely not in alignment. And it's skewed one way or the other in the level of extremes. Anger and hate, depression, all these different things that really don't contribute. I mean, I can get angry, anyone can. I can be the big tough man, fuck is it going to do for me long term? Really doesn't contribute to expanding. Really doesn't contribute to you having fulfillment and happiness. Contribution in your life and really doesn't contribute to you being still, reorganizing yourself, having that awareness and changing a perspective, changing your actions and then moving forward again. Mate, I get punched in the face every single day I lose. Every single day I lose. I have plenty of losses. But I get up, I get on top and I win and I move forward and I make sure my wins are bigger than my losses. And that's life. This is life. Life is messy. We've all got stuff, don't worry about that. We've all got shit that we're not proud of. We've all got stuff that we've done that we wish could have done better. But here we are. I know I'm not perfect, but I know I'll get better. And that's how I keep moving forward in life. What you're projecting right now onto your children, onto your family, when you're entering preoccupied environments. You come home from work, you've had a shitty day, your family's waiting for you, come a little more fucking turned out or grumpy and shit. How do you think that's affecting them? Man, I don't care if you pay the bills. He was entered a pre existing environment with your temperate nature and dragged your shit through the mud. Now you're dragging your family through it, vice versa. You come home and shit hits the fan with your family. What's the temperament nature you can control? The temperament nature you can control inside of yourself. Your internal frame to diffuse a situation, have that level of leadership and rise out on top of anything and everything. I'm telling you right now, you see, projected from anyone else, including yourself, is a reflection of your internal environment. That's why when someone abuses me, they don't know who I am. I don't take it personally. Exceed what? A two minute video of me and all of a sudden you're calling me out on all this sort of shit like they don't know who I am. It's just showing and showing casing the insecurities and the validation that they don't have in their life that they look to externally express through things that are very extreme with hate, envy, jealousy, all the moving parts that do not align. Like I said, mate, do not align with you being the best you can be. Everything you project is a reflection of your internal environment. Which takes me to our fourth law, our fourth absolute. Everything physical equals everything mental, everything you do physically. It's why we talk about like I don't. When you're inside the. When you're in the inner circle, when you're in rdm, we don't talk about weight loss. It just happens like it's a natural byproduct. The man shapes up. We've got dads who are putting on muscle now. It all varies. We've got some who do it at the same time. It all changes. It chops and changes. Your body is a representation of your standards. Your body is a representation of what's going on between the years. I don't have a six pack right now. I'm fit and healthy and strong, and my body is competent and driving home the energy that I need and that I have to move forward and be the titan I am right now in RDM to continue to lead these men. And that's amazing. You know, it's not a preconceived idea of what you see in a fucking magazine. What I'm talking about is everything you do physically affects you mentally. Everything you're doing physically affects you mentally. Which means what you are doing, you do for your mental state of mind. Brushing your teeth, having a shower, putting clothes on, eating food, you know, driving your cars, walking, riding a bike, picking up your kids and cuddling them. Every single thing in this world you do physically affects you mentally from the benefits of when you do, all the consequences of if you don't, and how it makes you feel. That's it. Everything you do physically affects you mentally and how you feel. The reason why exercise is how it makes me feel and how it gives me the ability to produce and perform in life and have a higher level of energy and capacity to do rdm, to do my family, to do myself. That's it. Hey, there's some great physical benefits. I'm a strong man. I'm very strong and powerful in certain movements and lifts in the gym, and I carry myself well. But that's a byproduct off the back of what's going on in between the years. Please understand that that's why we talk about Primal Power and Idea, these other books that I have here. That's why we talk about primal power 1 and 2. Nourish and move the body. Everything you do physically affects you mentally. It's why it takes up a huge portion of. Of rdm. Everything you have around you is very important as well. And that's very important to recognize too. I don't talk about environment that much in these laws and absolutes, but it's very important and powerful. Everything you do physically, including your environment. So when you're looking at that man that's taking up like three to four pillars of the five pillars of rdm. Nourish the body, move the body. The tribe and the coaching has an element of mental and physical to it. The first pillar is vision. Facts of future. Where are you going? So when we look at that, it's a huge performing indicator in your life, man, because the vessel that you're channeling your life through is a human being. It's a human body. You go to sleep and have dreams and you're flying all over the fucking place. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Then when you wake up and you're conscious in the real world, in this reality, you tell me you've got a busted hip, you've got knee issues, you've got back pain, you've got constant headaches, you're 15 to 30 kilos overweight, which means your physiology, sheer physiology and physics says you cannot have the performance that you would have if you were a little bit leaner. Again, not Mr. Olympia, but a little bit leaner, which means you're in a chronically inflamed state, which means the oxidative substrate of how your body's operating, how it's channeling its efforts to constantly flush and try and heal and repair the body, to improvise and adapt. So I can overcome what keeps coming at it and you not nourishing and looking after it, your microbiome of your bacteria and your gut health, which controls your emotions and feelings. So many moving parts, man, come down to your physical health. But the reality is, if that's all we focused on, how can we actually be connected? We won't. That's why what I talk about is rarely the physical element. That's something that we dial in and go, this is the importance. This is what you must do. And this is why life is connection. It's connection and purpose. So while primal power has such a huge role in your life, it's more understanding the why behind it, which is why you'll become more invested and prioritize that as being a part of your life. That's all. It's very, very simple. So everything you do physical affects your mental. Everything physical equals everything mental, which takes us into our law and absolute number five, the one thing that stays the same. And this is a real gift for life. And I feel blessed to understand and know this and have known this from such a young age. Obviously, I'm getting older now, but at such a young age, I made this breakthrough and revelation. What do you think the one Thing that stays the same is. It's really funny. It's almost like the dichotomy of life, isn't it? The one thing that stays the same is change. It's the only one. The one thing that I promise you in your life, man, is that it will change constantly, always. Life's changing every single day right now. Recording this. It's the 11th of August at 1:30pm they'll only ever be if we're going to use time as a metric. 11 August, 1:30pm Ever in the existence of mankind in this moment in time where you're literally sitting on top of time itself and experiencing the now, the present moment, and then it changes. And then it changes. See, people think like motion is something that's real. It's not. Motion is literally still frames that are sequential and put together to create motion. You can video someone like an archer shooting a bow and arrow to a target, right? He's got a bow and arrow and he shoots the arrow to the target. You can video that and see where it's going. You can also snapshot every single step where it literally disappears and reappears in a new position. Disappears and reappears in a new position. What are you doing in your life right now? To reappear in a new position. What are you doing in your life right now? To reappear and change, to become a greater version or a greater man inside of who you are when you know who you currently are is something that cannot hold ground and take more time in your life. See, why would I remain the same version of Al? I might not be as fit. I'm still very strong and fit, but I might not be as fit as I was in my 20s. But I'd fucking eat that man alive. He wouldn't come close to a man who's got a few kids. Another one that's just about to pop. As well as building this monstrous empire of idm. Wouldn't come close. Wouldn't be able to handle the day in these shoes. Right now. Life is changed. The hard part is people don't want to recognize change or people don't like change because more often than not they take the line of victimhood or they don't take any action in life, which means they're suppressed in a level of self action control. Which means they can control fuck all with their life. Which takes you back to the points of perception. Creating reality. Family first, you first, Projection, reflection. And physical and mental, the first four absolutes. If you don't have your Shit together with that, mate, your world will fall apart. And it might not happen. Now. The body's quite resilient, the mind's quite resilient, but what we see in a cascading effect, literally a compounding effect with interest, is as soon as people finish high school and they enter the real world and life gets hard. It takes time, but that time goes quick. Two decades pass and they fall to pieces in their 40s and 50s. Like, fuck, mate, I see it all the time. They just turn, turn to water. They fall apart and scratching their heads, going, how could this have happened? Jesus, man. Have a look at what's happened over the last couple of thousand days and what you've done. You know, life goes so fast. And that'll be our next point. But understand that it goes pretty slow, too. There's only ever series of moments in time that create our life. But you're always experiencing that present moment, which means when we look at this, the present moment comes and then goes. So ask yourself, what can I do when time stands still in this present moment to control and forge my destiny? Moving forward in my life with a higher level of control because I've stood up and taken a higher level of action and energy in my life to take ownership and leadership of my own life, to keep moving forward? Because I'll tell you right now, like I said before, I promise you, mate, the one thing that will always be the same in your life is change. Which takes us to the sixth absolute ours, absolute number six. And these can all tie into fatherhood. Obviously, you can see this. Love, leadership and legacy. What am I doing now? Circles of significance, family, self and service. What am I doing right now for myself? What am I doing right now for my family? What am I doing right now for the value I add to the world is this building a legacy. So when I'm dead, when you and me are dead and we're dusting the earth, we're actually still alive through our children. Like my daughter, I've taught her how to wink. She winks exactly the same as me. Isn't that funny? No one else taught her that. So I'm actually literally living inside of her when I'm dead. Eternal life to me is living through the values, principles, beliefs, mannerisms, behaviors, patterns, habits that they adopt because they come into this world as a blank canvas, just like you and me do. What you're seeing right now is someone with a large, obviously, level of experience in my life, where I've gone all in, man, I've gone pretty heavy and hard with many, many things, as well as the accumulation of thousands of different people and environments and experiences and interactions and relationships, that's forming up the version of what my third awareness in looking at who I am goes, well, this is who Alex Ranieri is today. Who will he be tomorrow? That's it, man. Same with you. And sometimes there's traumas in our life that hit. Whether it's relationships, whether it's work, whether it's your own traumas, whether it's our family, our children. And it can be the cornerstone that just goes, ah, fuck, it's hit me, man. And it changes you completely. Or it opens up the light and a perspective of gratitude that we're not here very long. But also we control the present moments of who we are and what we can do moving forward as fathers, as leaders, as men. You want to do family first. Do you first understand that your perception creates reality? How you choose to see things is your free will, man. Free. Your free will. Don't ever forget you've got that many people right now in the world have forgotten. They just want to get told what to do. What you project is a reflection of your internal violence. When you snap, when you trigger, when you got a short nature, when you're grumpy, have a look inside yourself and go, why am I doing this? Why am I losing my shit? Why am I letting someone else control my influence my emotions and feelings? What can I do to build that up? Your internal frame? Everything I'm doing physically affects me mentally. What can I do physically to enhance the mental? What can I do right now that can make me stronger and better? Between the years, One thing that stays the same is change. There's always going to be change around us. Don't resist it. Now you can fight for a different type of change. When I say don't resist, it doesn't mean that I'm just going to lay down and let my children walk all over me. I fight for the level of change that I can help guide them to become. You'll always have resistance, and there'll always be different types of change. Pick which change you want. Takes us into six and seven. Six is the oceans of time. What I spoke about before, man, like we are born. And this is if you live to be 82, many don't. Like they say 82 is the average age. That's great. That means, you know, the average amount of. That's what people hit, right? Some are longer, some are shorter. You live to be 82, you have 700,000 hours on this earth, you sleep for a third of that, which means I'll bump it up a little bit. I'll give you a bit of a buffer, let's say a bit less than a third. Let's say you've got half a million hours. That's it. Half a million sounds big, but let's say 500,000, that's the same thing. You've got 500,000 hours on this earth. I'm getting goosebumps right now. Fucking old man. 500,000 hours. That's all you and I've got. That's if we live to be 82.500,000 hours. There's a portion of that that may not be great and ideal as you get very old. There's a portion of that that you obviously won't remember when you're very young. Take some of that out. Look at where you're at in your life at the moment, especially if you're in the second half, and take some of those elements out. We chop that at least in half. Mean you've got like 200,000 hours left. 200 to 250. If you're a father who's nearly 50 listening to this, and you've got health issues and health concerns, mate, you could have 50,000 hours left. It. It seems like a lot, but then it doesn't because here we go. Another day, another day, another day, another day. 2448, like, you know, 7296 hours. Bang. Four days. There's a hundred. Four days. Hundred, hundred, hundred, ten days. There's a thousand. Or 960 hours, if you want to get correct. Ten days, there's a thousand. That's pretty crazy, isn't it, man? I mean, I just thought of that. Then every 10 days, you know, you're looking at. Sorry, not every 10 days. If we go, every four days is 100. Every 40 days, a thousand. You get my point? But every 10 days, 250 hours. Bank. There you go, there you go, there you go. Glad I like maths and I always check myself, but even then, like, every 10 days, you're looking at 250 hours, it just gets chopped. That's insane, man. The oceans of time, the absolute here is the oceans of time. Like the water, like the waves. Whilst it looks like it's predictable, whilst it looks like it's constant and has a slight variable when it crashes onto the sand or when it's out in the ocean and the waves are bigger, what it ultimately does is it makes us recognize and realize that there's no guarantee on how much time we have left. The waves are there, the ocean's there, it's moving, it's chugging along, it's trickling, it's big, it's small, it's crashing, it's moving. There are all these variables, but they're always constants. But the big universal with all this, mate, is time itself. Doesn't stand still for anyone, no one. And time is a metric we use. Society, structure, conformity, different things like this watch I have right here and now. We created this. Time's a word we created. There's rhythms and cycles of the universe and Jesus, man, like you don't know when your time's coming. Two questions I ask our dads and I'll ask you as well. How much time do you think you have? How much quality do you think you've had? Because that's reflecting on time gone. And the first question is reflecting on time coming. We don't know how much is left, you don't know how much is left. So when we look at family first, you first shifting your perception. What you project is what you're reflecting on the inside. What you do physically affects you mentally. The one thing that stays the same is change. You start to really build this picture of shit. Al, what am I spending my time on? And that's the beauty and value of this. I can give you statements and motivational quotes and shit that's fucking amazing. And it might pump you up and then it settles and dies. But when you ask yourself questions how we're naturally conditioned as humans, we must find the answer. We seek the answer, we search for the answer. It's so important for us. We need that closure, we need that certainty. One thing every human being wants in their life is control. What does control equal? A level of certainty? A level of turning the unknowns into the knowns. A level of comfort. So it's that beautiful dance, isn't it? Get uncomfortable, dive into the unknown. But it gives you the opportunity for a higher level of significance. You don't know how much time you have left, mate. Don't fuck around, don't waste it. A 20 year old, none of us have time to waste. A 20 year old doesn't have time to waste. None of us do. They just don't know it yet. Hopefully being a little bit older, you're a little bit wiser and you tune into the fact that you don't have any time to waste either, mate. So don't fuck around. Because time waits for no one and there's no guarantee on how much time you have left. And that's a very thought and feeling based way to provoke you. Because I mean, like I said, you just don't know. You really don't. It's a blessing. I love my life and I'm blessed and I love myself and my body and I'm blessed to be here. But I've also got unfinished business and I want to value life so I can do more and be more. This is the beautiful tango, man. This is the yin and the yang, which takes us in our final point, which is probably the most relevant for fathers as well. The final absolute, the final law for love, leadership and legacy. For you as a man, as a father, but as a man. It's your life, it's your world is show, don't tell. Leadership. Leadership is an amazing thing. Leadership is something that really can almost be recognized in the moment, but is almost certainly always recognized after the fact. Leadership is past tense, which is why it can be hard. Because what you need to do in your life is be on the front foot and be proactive in how you take actions moving forward. Which means you don't get the fruits of your labor right now. You have to have delayed gratification. You have to delay the validation of yourself, delay the fact that, hey, I did it, I earned my stripes and I'm there very hard in modern world with the speed of technology, with the speed of our children, and ultimately the speed of generations that are coming in going, whether it's entitlement or not, this is me, this is now. I want it. Access to products, services, value change, result, quick fixes, fucking shakes and bullshit like that. I just want it now. Why are you like that? Because deep down you know you've already fucked around and wasted more time, haven't you? You've already wasted more time than you wanted to bargain for, yet here you are. Which means here you are, right here and now. To recognize that leadership comes after the fact. It can be hard because sometimes you're going in with blinkers, sometimes you go in blindfolded. Maybe the lighthouse isn't lit up. It's why we're here. It's why RDM is here to help show you the beacon, the beacon of light, the pathway of what's possible in your life to get back on the horse, to get out of your own way, to unfuck yourself and raise your standards and break the tolerance that you have and what you choose to accept, which is a lower and lesser version of who you've already become. If you're already here right now, in this version of you, how much more time are you going to waste staying as that version? What, another year, another five years, another 10 years? Leadership is showing. Don't tell. You will never hear me say to my children, do as I say, not as I do. It makes no fucking sense, man. It doesn't make any sense. Of course there are things my children are going to do that I don't need to do, but I've already done it. Like I'm teaching my daughter to put away toys or to wipe her ass and teach her how to go to the bathroom. I've already done all those things, you know, I don't have a big bunch of toys in the corner that are broken in this shit everywhere. So what? I'm asking her to clean up after herself. It is a case of show don't tell. Because of the standards I'm holding within myself, it becomes very hypocritical and this is something I need you to understand as we wrap this up, it becomes very hypocritical of you if you either have an A, earned your stripes, or B, maintained a standard or a level of standards inside of your life that you're demanding out of your children. Now, my daughters are going to be phenomenal at sports and they may get leaner and stronger than me in certain areas, but I'm not going to be a 17 year old version of my daughter Stella, right? At that stage I'll be 47. This is about me showcasing what 47 year old version of Al, who's already been a teenager, who's already been in his 20s, already been in his 30s, can show his children and can pass down to his children. Leadership. Hard work, mate. Every single day the mirror comes up in front of us. Every single day we need to show, not tell. Every single day we get challenged with what kind of stuff we're made out of, first and foremost by our children in our immediate environment can be hard. I get that. Tough. I get it. But ultimately it comes down to a series of choices. When we look at the other six absolutes, you have no fucking time to waste. Neither do I. The one thing that will always change in life, always be the same in life, is changed your perception of reality on how you choose to see things, which means you should check yourself and invest in yourself first to make sure what you're projecting is a reflection of the internal environment you want to give to others, including yourself, which means looking after yourself physically to look after yourself mentally. All of those Six lead to the final point and opportunity you have in show don't tell which is being a true leader for yourself first. Which means you'll be a natural born leader and a natural evolving leader for your family, your children and your grandchildren. If you live to be that old and that long enough. Your great grandchildren. What a phenomenal gift. I don't need to go around big dicking when I'm 85 years old. I'll be fit and strong as well. Of course what I'll be doing is sitting back and looking at the emperor I've created. Not just in my blood, in my children, but what's around me and seeing the power and the change and the evolution they can have. That's my choice, my life, my journey. Fuck man, I've got sacrifices you don't even want to know about, that I've had to already do and that I'm building towards to achieve this. But this is what I want in my life as a level of growth. I want to seek and change that I want to have. Doesn't mean you can't have yours. In your own world. You create your dreams, you create your reality, you create your world. I'm a part of your world and providing a level of hopefully value but ultimately significance in the significance you can have as well in your life and what you want. It's the beauty of this world. We're all different, but we're all the same. The double sided coin of life show. Don't tell man. Life in all its entirety is energy. And energy in all its entirety is a series of movement and connections. That's all life is. It's all life is, mate. We don't need to complicate anything. It is literally all life is. Ask yourself these questions. What am I projecting that's reflecting my internal environment? Am I putting my family first by actually looking after myself and investing in myself so I can be 100%? What are the perceptions and the lens that I'm choosing to see my circumstances inside and out, my reality inside and out, other people that's forming up my view of the world, of them and of myself? What am I spending my time on? Is it moving me forward in my life or am I being a fucking glutton to time, knowing that it's one thing I'll never get back and I don't know how much I have left? Do I understand and recognize the possibility and potential that change brings with it? Knowing that change is inevitable, Making sure that the actions I take are moving me forward to control My destiny with a higher level, not complete, you'll never have complete, but a higher level control over the change that I will experience? Am I creating a connection internally and externally with myself and my body? Do I love myself? I love my body, but I continue to improve and get better. Do I understand that? Do I understand that everything I'm doing physically affects me mentally? Do I see that what I'm doing right now, my physical health, what I'm nourishing and moving my body with my external environment, all of this, do I understand that that's actually affecting me between the years and how I feel and how I think, and my belief system and view of the world and view of myself? And finally, am I being a good leader by leading my own life first? Am I showing, not telling? Am I standing up? Am I rising up and being that big fucking titan with that big breastplate that can deflect all the bullshit the world will throw at me to go? This is my time, this is my place, this is my journey. It's a very powerful session and I hope you've enjoyed this. It seems funny and fitting as I continue to get older, that less is more, although I've got a lot to say. But the power comes from the stillness after the revelations, after you have the breakthroughs and after you ask yourself quality questions. From then you'll naturally seek quality answers. This is why creating space is so important. This is why I talk about taking time out for you, creating space for you. It's so important because when you do that the right way, you have a level of stillness. And I'm telling you, man, the world speaks to you in ways not thought possible. When you caught in the hustle and bustle of life, when you caught in the rat race, when you caught in all the bullshit out there in the world, it's so true. So true. And when I say the world speaks to you, what I mean is the higher version of you that you, you haven't quite seen or reached yet. Almost like deja vu. It's nearly there. I can see it, but it's not there. Did that happen? Is it happening that that higher version of you is then speaking to you? Your intuition, your awareness, your instincts, all of them. Although instincts are a bit more immediate and direct. But it's all connected, man. It's all connected. I really hope you enjoyed this session and got as much out of it as I did, because this is why I continue to level up. I practice what I preach. My repetitions are through the roof. I go through this Thousands and thousands of times. Like man, I created five books, audio books, over 100 coaching videos, working with the dads every single day. Sold my gym at the start of the year for a seventh of what I bought it for. All of these moving parts of life that can make us distracted and sedated. I don't drink alcohol at all. I don't watch TV at all. I might watch one movie a month. And it's not that they're problems, it's just what I want to achieve in my life and the value I have in my life. And these seven laws owls, absolutes, they hit home with me so much. I don't want to waste any time and I want to create big things in my life. It's my choice, it's my decision. You don't have to follow suit. But hopefully from today you got some great value and benefits out of it from which you can see what's possible inside of your life. Because it is possible. I need you to know that none of us are different from you. We might be different right now, but none of us were. We're all born with a blank canvas. And yes, the framework might be a bit different, might be staples and screws in others, nails in others, the color of the wood might be a bit different. But it's all a canvas, mate. It's all an artwork for us to paint our life on and to express and experience our life. Take care, have an amazing day, night, weekday, weekend, whenever you listen to this. And thanks for tuning in and ultimately investing your valuable time and energy in this. Which means the investment you're putting in now will equal the dividends that you'll get off the back of action. Don't just listen and do nothing off the back of action that you'll take to move your life forward and then level up again. And this is what life is, the stepping stones to reaching greatness. And that greatness is recognizing not a finite point that comes from a lesser version of you when you've evolved and already reached that, because that's disappointment. The destination is the journey and the type of journey that you have.