64. Consuming Vs Connecting & Creating

Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement Podcast. This is your host. Al wanted to dive in today and talk about consuming versus connecting. Now, what I mean by connecting is when you connect to something, you can then initiate a higher level of power to then create. And this isn't about voodoo, wizards or any of that sort of stuff. What I'm talking about creating is your life. Like we're creating. We're constantly in creation phase when we take action, and action that's built off the back of connecting to what's most important to us. See, this is the hard part. When it comes to life and the distractions we face, you can only focus on one thing at a time. So when we're looking at focusing, it's about asking the focusing question. What's the most important for me? What's the most important thing for me right now? To move the needle forward in my life and continually carve out the life that I want. Because where you are right now as a man, as a father, as a husband, or as a partner is someone who's moving immediately from every single. Each and every single present moment directly into the future, into the next present moment, the next present moment, the next present moment. So what I want to touch on today in today's episode is consuming versus connecting. And this is the thing. These podcasts, the audiobooks we have, the master course, the coaching programs we have, the memberships, the video series, YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, all the different platforms we can. Find me. You can dive in and you can consume lots of. But are you connecting to it now? For me, connecting is one of the most powerful things that we have. It's the only thing that we have. It's asking, are we connecting for the greater good, or are we connecting and then doing nothing? And that really comes down to, A, your perspective, but B, taking action off the back of listening to me, watching me, seeing the things that we do and really applying it to your life. See, the thing is, for all of us, when we're looking at things that distract and sedate us, what we do is we lose our focus. When you become a father, you're the breadwinner. You're trying to put food on the table, trying to provide for the family, still be a good husband or partner, be a good father. There's so many different stages that we'll go through. As a man wearing all these different hats in the workforce, whether you have a career, whether you run your own business, whether you're in between jobs, whether you're doing multiple jobs at Once. As well as being a community member, as well as being a friend or a mate to your existing pool or group of friends. All these different hats and all of a sudden we're giving and giving. We're just consuming in life. We're getting what to do. We're doing things that aren't necessarily aligned with who we want to be. We're sacrificing, we're giving for the family. We just enter this consumption state. We're just consuming and doing and doing and doing. And all of a sudden we're not doing or taking action through a higher level of connection and creation which comes from you and valuing yourself, man. Because then next thing that happens and a lot of you will resonate with this. I'm sure this is a common thread. This is a pattern I see with many fathers all over Australia. Look, none of us are different from each other, mate, myself included is. We give and give and give and we sacrif, sacrifice for the family and ultimately, next thing you know, we're doing things for the family, doing things for the wife, and they never asked for that. Which means you've got this expectation they should reward you or be grateful for what you're doing. But in the time of doing that, you're sacrificing, giving a part of who you are. Which means years pass by. All of a sudden the connection might not quite be there with the Mrs. Or with the kids the way that you want it to be. Your body's out of shape, out of whack, you're feeling rundown, lethargic, you don't have energy, you're feeling beaten. Because a lot of the times you're trying things and you're failing again and again, and you're trying again and failing. All of a sudden you lose this sense of identity. High school's pass and here we are 20 years later. I don't know who I am anymore, Al. Who am I? Who do I even want to be? I didn't even know that, mate. I'm just this mouse in the spinning wheel. It's like the rat race of life. I haven't even had a chance to slow down. Is this resonating with you guys? Like, is this something that's cutting through to you? When we're looking at just being a consumer in life instead of creating the life that we want through connecting with a high level of value inside of yourself first, which brings the greatest thing ever. I speak about this in my coaching things when we're talking about motivation. Motivation is a great thing, it can elevate your state. I can motivate many, many people very easily. I love doing it. I'm a passionate man. But therein lies the problem. If you just sit with motivation alone, there are two other things that you need in your life. To have a high level of connection and to begin to create and carve out the life that you want for yourself first. Which means when it's done, out of a love for greatness, not a fear of failure, a love for greatness for yourself. That means those that you love around you, in your family, your children, your work, your partner, your relationships, they get enhanced. This is the ripple effect, man. Society just deems us as dads who put food on the table, and we're providers and hunter gatherers. And look, that stuff's awesome. It's great. But at what cost? If you're doing it to the detriment of yourself, you will lose, which means everyone loses. That's not a happy ending. That's not a happy outcome, mate. So when we're looking inside of your life and asking these questions of what I should focus on, it's really taking a step back and being still and going, how can I invest in myself to have a higher level of connection instead of just consuming in life so I can be connected to what I want, what I deserve and desire so I can create the life that I want for me and for me and my family. Don't do it the other way around. People talk about being selfish by taking time out al. You know, just family first, man. I don't have time to train. I don't have time to eat well. I don't have time to create space. That's it, man. Three things. That's all you need. You have a thousand minutes a day. You sleep 7 hours and 20 minutes every night. Some might get less, some might get more. Who knows? But that gives you 1,000 minutes a day. One percent of that creating space, that's slowing down. Music, books, podcasts, nature walking, sitting, anything that slows you down and gives you the opportunity to be present. 1% a day, it's only 10 minutes. Nourish the body, move the body. 2% each. That gives you 5% a day. You invest 5% a day. I did a video on 10%. That creates the 90%. You spend 10% on yourself. So if that's 4% creating space or 4% nourishing the body or moving the body, and the others are four and twos there gives you ten. That's all you need, mate. Primal Power, nourish the body, move the body the right way for you. You don't have to become a bodybuilder or any other trade where you're at the elite level of really becoming the best in the country. It's about moving your body and looking after the vessel that you live life through in the human body and also the mind, which is creating space and slowing down and having that stillness. Make 10% of that, only 10%. If you did that will give you 90% of the results and the rewards in your life with your work, with your family, with your stress, with your feelings, all these different things. Hard part is, though, even saying that, even preaching that, living that if you're not connected to it, you're just a consumer. This is the hard part. And I'm not saying you have to join rdm. What I'm saying is all of this stuff I give out for free. It's got to connect to you, man. Like, it has to have a level of connection with you from which you can then take a level of creativity in carving out the life that you want and taking action with it. The one thing that kills people is uncertainty. The one thing uncertainty is directly connected to is a lack of action, your uncertainty in your life. Take action. There are plenty of unknowns. We're always going to have unknowns in our life. It's been a little while since I've done a podcast because my wife's been having contractions at the time of recording this, obviously for three weeks. She doesn't do pregnancy very well. Three weeks of contraction. So I've been on the edge, man. Like, we go in the hospital, we knock, we go, and we're not. We've been there several times already, obviously. And they've chucked the ECG machines on. They're monitoring it, and baby's looking okay. He's still early. That's why we're concerned. We need the bun in the oven a little bit longer. So there's so much frantic pacing in life that comes into our inner frame and affects us. There's so much happening. There are so many unknowns. You can't control that, mate. The trap is when you try and control things that you can't control, which means you're taking your half the prize and focusing on what you can control, which is you. Which means what you do in your efforts to try and control things outside of you is you become a consumer in life. You don't connect. Same with what I'm doing here. You can connect and get some value out of this. When I'm talking about giving and sacrificing, not knowing who you are, your identity cycle, gaining the weight or getting the body that's out of shape and out of whack and having that unhappy nature inside of yourself, not loving yourself or having that self respect because you're letting yourself go, but you're convincing yourself with bullshit and stories that I'm doing it for the family. It'll turn around one day, mate. That one day won't happen. You'll be on the phone with me at 54 years of age and you've just lost another 10, 15 years. This is what happens, these are the patterns. All because we didn't take time to pull back, have a look at the unknowns, eliminate the uncertainties and drive a higher level of certainty through controlling our actions and focusing on what the most important thing is, which is connecting to what it is that you consume to then take action. It really is a process of steps. Like I said before, there's so much value you can get for free from me and that's great, you can have all of it. Like I'm delivering a lot of stuff out here which you can use to change your life. But if you're just consuming, pondering, sitting back and doing nothing, it's going to lead to a dead end. It won't work. And I'm not saying you need to fast pace or even future pace is what I want. I'm going to get after it right here and now. It is a process, it is a journey. But what I'm saying is you need to create a connection between when you begin to consume something, like what we're doing here now and peel, peeling the onion, lays back, asking yourself quality questions and then going, how can I create? Like how can I become the man? Like I want to become the man. I want to look in the mirror and go that's the fucking man right there. That's the one that I love. And I value my self worth and my self value. My self respect is higher than ever because I know this is my world, this is my life. And because it is, that means those who are part of my life are going to benefit. Like this is your world, man. I'm just a part of it. You listening to this right now, watching this right now on YouTube or other channels, I'm just a part of your life. You've obviously drawn me in for some sort of reason which is going to hopefully initiate some sort of spark and a switch. So then go fuck, you know What? Like Al says a lot of things and he's done a lot of things, he's got a lot of videos, but this is the one thing that I connected to. This is the cue. Sometimes that's all we need, that light bulb moment before it's a bad light bulb moment with irreversible damage. This is the cue, man. I'm no longer just going to kick back and consume and just listen to statements or listen to things, all different podcasts or all different motivational speakers, or just pump fucking heavy metal music and then in the car and. And you just visualize the law of attraction and wish it'll be here and it'll be no, I need to get out and claim my life. This is your fucking life, man. You get out, you get after it and you claim it. Please understand that this will be the same message when I'm 70 years old. It doesn't have to be the way that it currently is. When there are pitfalls or traps inside of your life in certain areas, you can fix them. You can initiate change inside of them by starting initiating the change inside of yourself. Life doesn't happen to you. It doesn't even happen for you either. I don't know which motivational speaker made that shit up. Life happens because of you. Because if you're not here, life isn't here. If your consciousness isn't present and your body isn't present, you don't have a reality. Your reality is non existent. Your family might, I might, other people might be. Yours isn't here. Which means whilst it's not a life where you're the only human being in this world, the world truly does revolve around you and your perceptions of reality. What kind of perceptions are you adopting which is moving you from a state of being a consumer to being someone who connects into becoming a creator. Life is connection, man. It's so important. Everything in this world is energy. And what you focus on on the other side of that coin, you're immediately not focusing on something else. When you say yes to something, you're saying no to so many other things and vice versa. When you're saying no to a lot of other things that might not be serving you, you're saying yes to the most important thing that matters in your life. And for me it's very simple. You know, when we're looking at elevating your state and bringing back the other point, yes, we have the circles of significance, family, self and service. So you're in a circle. The value add to the world and the value add to yourself self has to come first. You need to raise the level and lift the threshold of what you can do, which means everyone else benefits anyway. But when we're looking at motivation, pulling back to that point about how it can elevate your state, you need two other things very, very important to continue to drive home. A, the level of significance that you desire and B, ultimately the level of action and creation that you can have so you're not just a fucking consumer, mate. Don't just listen to these things, don't just watch them. And if you just do this alone, without action, you will lose the other two things. And it's an LHE acronym I call mop. MOP the floor with your adversities. Motivation. Yes. Optimism and purpose. Optimism isn't a state. Positivity is a state. Motivation can elevate your state to be more positive. Optimism is a choice. It's a way of being. It's an acknowledgement, it's an awareness. It's everything. My life is full and riddled with optimism. Doesn't mean I don't have bad days. Doesn't mean I don't have little Al the voice inside. Doesn't mean I don't have the tough times. Shit hits the fan all of a sudden, you know, I'm up against the wall, I'm getting punched in the face from all different angles. We all have that, man. Like you're not alone here. And I'm not taking away you experiencing hardship either. What I'm saying is there's nothing wrong with you, mate. It does happen to all of us, it really does. That there's nothing wrong with you. Don't beat yourself up. Don't think that you're a failure. Don't think that you're a loser because you're experiencing that or you're having self doubt or you haven't pulled the trigger on things where you should have. You're not different from anyone else, man. Like it's all of us, myself included. You know, I've spent 18 years in the health and fitness industry and I feel like I'm finally home. 18 years of failed businesses, failed decision making, failed coaching teachings, learning processes, hardships, with my relationships, with my living circumstances, losing my first home, becoming a father, all these other hats I'm wearing. Like I finally feel like I'm home. That doesn't mean that I haven't worked with fathers. I've done programs with dads for 15 years. But it also doesn't mean that I could have just clicked My fingers when I was 21 years of age and gone, I'll start real dad movement. Life is a process and a journey, which means whilst you might have heightened states of motivation, where it elevates, it'll drop as well. The one thing that can remain constant for you to consistently, constant, consistent, consistently move forward in your life is to couple that motivation daily with different stimuluses. That's why I love having a wide vocabulary. It's why I love having a level of charisma and delivering videos, audios, even written pieces. Different ways we connect with, take things in differently. The only way to have that and create that stimulus coupled with motivation is with optimism and purpose. These are super important. How you choose to see your life, your world, or what's in front of you is one thing that is it makes or breaks you. And how I choose to see it, more often than not, I'm not perfect, but I know I'll keep getting better is with optimism and the other one is with purpose. Like, why are you even delivering your energy into this? Like you are delivering energy into this video and this podcast right now that you're listening to by investing your time, your ears and your brain and your heart to it. Why are you doing this? Why are you here? What do you want to achieve? Big picture, small picture? What are the small cogs we need to get turning to get that wheel in motion? Doesn't have to be the big picture all the time. The smallest things will create the biggest results. It's the domino effect, man. You can have a true north and an amazing vision on what you want to achieve, but it comes down to looking inside of the small things that will get you there one step at a time. Some goes pretty fast anyway. So how would you want to try and rush or shortcut it? You can't and you don't need to because time goes that fast. Purpose, motivation, optimism and purpose is going to pull you. It's going to in every area of your life. And the main three, if you want to simplify it, family, self and service. It's going to pull you from that state of just being a consumer into someone that's connecting and then creating. This is super important, mate. And it's hard. They're three Cs. But you want to talk about three Cs the backbone of RDM. It's something that you need to apply to your life, to take you from a consumer to someone who connects. Starting you might connect with me, but starting with connecting with yourself, connection with you first and then taking that connection to go, what can I do? Fuck man. I'm the king, I am the titan. I'm the king of my castle. This is my kingdom, this is my life. What can I create? How can I do it? You might as well set goals that you can't even reach or achieve, but then peel them back to get a level of energy that's going to move you at least halfway there. Instead of setting a goal quarter of the height and hitting that glass ceiling and just settling in life and being unfulfilled and unhappy. When you tie that into the backbone of rdm, which is our three C's courage, commitment and certainty. You will always move forward. I guarantee you, mate. It takes balls to stand up. It takes balls to reach out to me. It's not easy. I don't get weak attitude or weak minded or weak decision making men where that becomes their entire life. It's a period, man. You might have felt like you've been in the war for five years, three years, 15 years. It doesn't define who you are. But I generally do get men who are standing up. They've got the courage and the balls and they've got that pride to go, you know what? I can't go it alone. Maybe I could in my 20s, maybe even in my 30s, but I can't now. I need help, I need a coach. I need something. I need the environment to support and nurture me to moving forward. Otherwise, what's the alternative? That's the truth, mate. Then from that, it's commitment, taking action and then certainty. After you have the balls to stand up and you're taking action, you'll always have a level of certainty of what worked, what didn't, what you can do, how you can rewire, how you can reprogram what you need to do. Build a different level of patterns or different level of habit, same thing, your behaviors to ultimately carve out a different course to keep moving forward. That's what comes with action. Certainty, if you have the power to reflect on it. Courage, commitment and certainty when you do this and apply it. Level of action by maintaining a high level of state in motivation. But yes, coupling that with optimism. I can do it. How can I win? What is the process? Roadblocks, speed, humps, brick walls? No, they're all processes. What is the process to get in front of and then ultimately having purpose. This is my why. This is going to drive me. This is my rod and staff. When I am feeling down and out and feeling sorry for myself, I can lean on this. I can stand up. I can get up off my knees and go again. To drive home with courage, commitment, and certainty, create the version who you choose to be that will ultimately have the ripple effect to your family. I hope this is helping and giving you some insights into what it takes to go from becoming just a consumer in life. Fuck being consumer. So many people just consume in life, man. That's not you. It's why I don't watch large volumes of television. Lucky to watch a couple hours a month. That's why I don't drink alcohol. I'm not saying I'm against that. I'm saying for me and what I want to achieve and where I want to go, my life, it doesn't hold a value or purpose. It sedates and distracts me. You can only focus on one thing at a time. Take that power, man. Take that power. You have to rise up. Know that you're not a loser. You're not a victim. You are the victor. You can fucking win. You just need to stand up on your own two feet and then have someone else who can help drive that with you. So you're not always just walking on your own to drive home a level of being a creator in your life by connecting to something that you're consuming, not just consuming alone. I hope you got a lot of value out of this. I really enjoy doing these sessions. You know, it's something where obviously number three around the corner. I haven't done as many podcasts as I'd like to lately. I'd love to shoot for two to three a week, and that is a goal I'm implementing and putting in place shortly. But for me, it's all about connection. Because if I can connect with you, if you can connect with me, and then we can drive home some actionable change you can take that gives you the ability to get out of your own way. I've got the fucking courage. I've got the commitment. And now I'm going to get that certainty by being connected to something that can give me the opportunity to create the life that I want for myself, for my family. I don't have to stay in the pit. It doesn't have to be this way. I don't have to stay in a lackluster version. And I'm not talking even being homeless. Yeah, you might have a great family, you might have a great job, and, you know, you go on holidays once or twice a year. Then what, mate? You're going to do that for the next 40 years. Like, it's a leadership and performance type of group that we have here in rdm. But it's a leadership and performance that starts with you inside of yourself and you can only ever have that if you move from consuming to connecting and creating. Take care. Have an amazing day, night, weekday weekend, whatever you listen to or watch this, I hope you enjoy this and please don't just consume my stuff or RDM and the message we stand for. Live and breathe the message by actioning it and applying it to your life immediately for you, first and foremost, from which you will naturally see the ripple effect of your temperament, your nature, how you come home, how you turn up, how you wake up, how you handle your family, your wife, your misses, your partners, your workforce, stress on the job, stress with your business as a career, workers, employees, how you can handle all of that comes down first and foremost with turning you from Victor into Champion because Victor is once championship. Life you can have forever and you will achieve that if you move from consumer to someone who connects with the valuable information and the knowledge they get to then create the life they want. Take care, have an amazing day or night when you listen to this and I'll see you again soon. Cheers.