70. Winning The Second Half

You can cut that bit and start again. Is that what you're saying?

I might add a little bit of that.

Even I start using that F word that I don't use very often.

Exactly, exactly. You say it better than the others they've made. It's got more. It's got more life to it because they just say it all the time. So when you say it, it's like, great. But thanks for joining us today, mate.

That's all right.

It's great having you on. And those who just joined us as well. This is another episode Real Dad Movement podcast. You really inspired me, Chris. Like, you're a really strong, strong, tough, resilient man. And how long have we worked together for now? Sorry? How long have we worked together for now? How long have you been in RDM?

Oh, it's only three months, so. Since July 12th, I think it was.

Yeah, you just always. Just since they adopted, mate, you just had this, like, if you're engaged with our dream team all the time and you're always looking to refine, always looking to be better. And for a guy who didn't come to us, not that I'm saying all dads do, but he didn't come to us at 180 kilos. And you've got a few things in your life that you're squaring away and you're in control of. You've always struck me as a man. This is true, mate. You've struck me as a man who just wants to be that top level, just that next level. There's always that 1%. Is that true, Link?

Look, I think as a guy, as a bloke, as a man, you always like a bit of a goal or competition. Bit of competition. You know, all of us like a little bit of competition. And, yeah, what I found, joining RDM and having those little things that you can have a crack at sort of thing and improve on yourself and see what other people are doing, and that inspires you a bit more.

More.

Yeah, it's been. It's been like that. So, yeah. And just improving 1%. You know, as an old bloke, I didn't think that I could probably push myself as much as I probably have at the moment. I don't know whether that's a good or a bad thing yet, but we'll see. And, you know, yeah, there's lots of things that I'm getting out of it that I was unsure of when I joined, but, yeah, I wouldn't look back now, mate.

You 53 at the moment.

Just. Yes, just nearly 54 on the celebrating.

With Mount Square plan the entire mountain Kosciusko trip around your birthday mates for you.

Oh no, someone else is turning 50 around that time.

Yeah, that's right. We've got a few guys that will belated birthday.

Yeah, that's right, that's right. I'm looking forward to that.

Should be good, mate. You're doing things that most 20 year olds would shy away from and it's not because of physical ability, it's because of the hunger and the will to be competitive, whether with others or yourself. And through competition comes change and you're showing that. And you know the big thing for me right from the get go is really interesting and we do get dads who reach out and start with six months and before the six months is up they do upgrade within a week, mate, you message me and say, hey, how can I do 12 months, honey, I need to do 12, not six. Why was that, mate? Was it you just saw everything you like? There are so many things I needed to wrap my head around. There's so much more I now see I can sink my teeth into. Like what was driving that?

Look, when you take on anything, you're a bit unsure, I think. And I thought, well, let's just dip my toe in the water and just see what it's all about. And it wasn't until, I think it was only a few days al after you gave me full access to the site and I had a good look around, like I spent some time having a good look around and I just thought, you know, there's a wealth of information here and I could see because one of the things that is good and bad, if I take something on, I invest in it and I can get obsessive with it. And that's things that I've done, especially my fishing competition, fishing, sporting and that in the fishing club, you know, I got on the committee and I really got into it and I could just see by looking at resources and seeing what some of the other dads had put up, what they're getting out of it and that sort of thing, I just went, you know what, only just start getting into this and my six months would be up. So that's why I rang him back and said, look, can I upgrade for the full 12 months and I can really sort of invest in a full 12 month program sort of thing because I just didn't think six months was going to cut it. But when I look what I've come from when I did Join you. And the state of mind I was in at the time to only three months down the track, totally different, totally different mindset physically, emotionally, just. Yeah, it's just been a new me and that has, and I have said that that slowly has just in that three months has flowed onto the family as well. So they can see the change in their own way, changing little bits themselves. You know, back in, you know, when I was in my teenage years, up to 20s, I was playing club soccer at one stage. I was playing soccer and rugby league on weekends, both I played cricket. So, you know, I was into sport. Wasn't until I got into my apprenticeship, electrical fitter by trade. Once I hit the apprenticeship and into a trade and that sort of thing, all the sport and everything went out the window. You know, cars, girls, you know, all that sort of thing that takes your mind off everything. So really from. And I got married in my early 20s, so really from my early 20s up until a few years ago, I didn't get, I wasn't getting anything physical, I wasn't training, I wasn't, you know, I was just getting through the day to day stuff that I needed to get through really over those sort of those years, sort of from when I got married. As we all know, you get married, you have kids and you know, that becomes the focus and, and you do everything you can for them and not look after yourself sort of thing.

Mate. It's such a common theme too, isn't it, Chris? I was shouting to my dad earlier, he's 65 and he talks about it being a flash in the pan. He's looking at his life and he's like, yeah, and I'm seeing him now. I remember, I have memories of him when he was my age, when I was a kid and he says that's what happens. And I see it a lot when I hear it as well, some of the same as yourself. And I feel like it's happened even though it's slow at the time, it's fast. One of our members, Zach, had a great saying that I think he got from somewhere. The days are long, the years are short or something like that. Days are slow, the years are fast and it feels that way. It's almost like you can see the common theme is school finishes, career, kids, and then 20 years just goes, yeah, that's what it. Is that what it feels like as well, mate?

Yeah, exactly, exactly. And you know, as some of the other fathers all had our ups and downs through the year and you know, I was married 13 years and then divorced and all the bumpy road that comes with all that sort of thing and trying to re. Establish yourself and that sort of thing. So that extra pressure of that and the job I was in, or up until a few years ago, job was in high pressure, long hours because I was investing heavily in it and, you know, wasn't looking after myself. Eating too much, drinking too much alcohol, going out, having a good time. And yeah, it caught up with me a few years ago where I was at home and actually had a major heart attack and full blockage of the right coronary artery. And if I wasn't at home, if I was off fishing or I was anywhere else, we may not be having this. We may not have been having this conversation.

What happened, mate? So what was the breakdown? It just came out of nowhere. And then what happened after that when you're obviously in a recovery. Recovery state?

Yeah, look, you know the old joke doing the horizontal rumble? You know, you see the movies and that sort of thing. It does happen, so. And the missus likes to have a bit of a joke about that. But it was sort of. Yeah, sort of after that sort of an event, a little while after, I just started getting pains up the arms until the point where I collapsed on the bed. I'd actually, I'd actually. We were actually gonna watch a movie and I was actually gone into the bedroom to. To find a movie and the missus came in about. Wendy came in about, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes later and I was lying on the bed in the fetal position. She thought I'd gone to sleep. Tickled my feet and Jake and with me and I just. All I could get out, I had my arms hard up like this, couldn't move. Basically just said, not good. And she then went into panic mode and. Oh, what do I call? 9, 1 1.

Yeah.

Long story short, quick intervention, because we were in. Because we live in Canberra, we had one of those quick response paramedics in the next suburb. She was there before the ambos dosed me up and basically was talking to the ambos before they got there and straight to hospital, straight into theater, like they were waiting for me. And I remember the surgeon saying to me, you'll be right, mate. We'll open up that vein and all the pain will go away. It was all, you know, it was very blase about it all, but he was right. So. Yeah, no, it was a scary, scary time. I was in Hospital for 10 days, I think, or seven days or something like that. Come out of there and soon as I got the letter for the rehab program, the heart rehab program hospital runs, I jumped straight in there and put full effort into that and that sort of gave me a big wake up call. And when you're in a rehab program like that, you see people from all walks of life and see how. And I was very lucky, but there was people in that rehab program that were younger than me that weren't as lucky as me, that were really struggling. And I was thinking, look, this is wake up call, I've got to gotta get out of this as best I can. Luckily, minimum damage done, which was lucky.

So how old were you at the time, mate?

How old? I was six months after my 50th birthday. So yeah.

What was going through the head like when you're in recovery, in hospital and all that? Like, what was we speaking about, the wake up call? Like, what were your thoughts, your feelings?

Like 50s, you know, I was just thankful that I was still alive. And you're sitting there thinking, reassessing what your life has all been about, where you are at the moment, what, you know, what could have been, what was the causes. And you know, it came down to stress, not looking after yourself, you know, and just really abusing your body that you have and rely on to be on this earth. And it was just like, we've got to, got to do something about this. It's ironic. We have a bit of a joke about this as well, is that three days before my heart attack we paid our final payment on a trip to Canada. And it was a substantial payment. And I joke with Wendy said that making that payment was just the last straw.

It was just yes. Yeah. So.

Yeah, so it was a real wake up call. We had this trip booked, we did the Canadian Mountaineer where we go on the train and do Alaska and that sort of thing. So it was a sort of a trip in a lifetime. And I remember Wendy coming into hospital every day. She come into hospital, oh, have you asked the doctor whether we can still do Canada? And my answer was no, no. And then eventually she asked again and I said, I haven't asked about Canada, but I have a fishing comp. I had a fishing comp lined up about a month before we went to Canada. But I said, but he's told me I'm going to be good to go for the fishing comp.

Oh mate. Oh no, give it to you. You wind him up.

Well, oh mate. She wasn't going to let me out of that hospital until, until the doctor said that we were good to Go for Canada. So, yeah, we have a bit of a joke about it, but Canada was good after the heart attack in that we did hiking and those sorts of things. So I sort of proved to myself that, yes, I've had this major event in my life. Yes, I've had a heart attack, but I'm still. Luckily I'm reasonably fit and, well, not fit, but physically able, I suppose, is what I'm looking for. And when we came back, it's actually Wendy suffered more on that trip than I did. Some of the hiking we did, but when we got back, it was near Christmas. So we had that Christmas period where got a big slack again over Christmas. And it was in January that I put on a couple more kilos and I said to Wendy, look, I don't want to go back to where I was last year. We need to do something. So that's when I joined the gym, which I'd never, never joined a gym in my life, and got a PT trainer to try and get my physique up. And I dropped the weight. So for a couple of years I kept that up and that was really good. I had something to focus on. I was into fishing competitions at the time, so I was in. My focus was fitness, so I could stand at the front of the boat for seven hours casting lures and fish. So that was my focus. So I really put my time and effort into that. And I think, as I was saying to you, come November last year, all that finished. And then the typical Christmas got a bit slack over Christmas. Then Covid hit and then there's a slow spiral down from that where I started getting back into old ways. Having partner at home, glass of wine out when you get home, and before you know it, you're drinking every night. And one glass leads to two, leads to. There's only a little bit left in the bottle, that sort of thing. So started getting back into old habits, put on the weight, and I started to get. Never been depressed or know that I depressed my. But I started to get depressed. I put on weight. I wasn't feeling good about myself. And that led to a bit of a rocky time within the household as well because, you know, not in the right mindset, snapping at people. And then there's some things that happen within the family that didn't go so well. So I. People are telling me I was lucky, that I. That I picked it, that I was not happy or well. And I actually went and spoke to my boss at work and said I'm not. These things are happening. I'm not good. Took myself off to for some help.

And.

He also said the same as my boss, that, look, you're on the right track, you've opened up, you know there's something wrong and you're doing something about it, whereas a lot of blokes like us hold it all in and don't do anything about it and that leads to, you know, your demise, really. So. And through that process, I tried to get back into training. I was ordering some supplements which I had used the previous two years from the States and they just took too long to come and I started researching locally online and that's when I came across the RDM supplements and the rest is history, mate. I met the don and, and got to know the tribe and here we are. So, yeah, so it's been a bit of a. Bit of an up and down over the last few years, but I'm feeling in a good place now.

I remember all of my conversations with the dads in our one to now. It's just seeing that transformation and it's incredible to witness. That's what I love the most, mate. It's not that I take ownership of your changes, Chris, because, you know, the group and rdm, I mean, I'm accountable to you guys. I'm just one person and it's all of it. And seeing you guys win and have those challenges and then get in front of them because we all have them, it's what brings significance to me because I can see, and maybe through some of the stuff I shared with you earlier about doing things I didn't want to do and rugby league and injuries and all sorts of things, it's like, fuck, mate, there's always something. Like even what you said then, like, it's always there, isn't it? Like you can slip back down, you can go to old habits, things can fall apart there. It's always there. It never gets any easier, does it?

And it sneaks up on you too. You know, you think you're just having a bit of a social drink and then one leads to another and I mean, that's the biggest thing for me. Not so much the eating, but, you know, I like a good glass of red wine or a good scotch. But I must admit, since, well, since I had that bit of. I was unlucky. Was it about six weeks ago or seven weeks ago I had that tummy bug, that salmonella that sort of knocked me around for five weeks. Well, I. During that time, off the alcohol, off the coffee. I had four weeks, no coffee.

At all.

I've had the odd one over the last couple of weeks, but I haven't had that urge to have five cups of coffee a day or anything like that. And sort of tied the alcohol to only Fridays and Saturdays. That's it. Which has worked well.

But.

Look, the touch points with rdm, you know, the roundtable last night, the roundtable was fantastic. I really enjoyed that, even though I was really tired. Always love listening to what the other guy, the other dads are doing and what they're going through and, you know, happy to support this morning. This morning didn't feel like getting out of bed. I'd had a pretty physical week this week with doing a heap of gardening on the weekend, then the gym 300 and then the challenges and that, trying to get into them. And I had planned to get up this morning and do the bike crunches, get them out the way so I can do gym tomorrow. My body just didn't want to get out of bed this morning until I now have Mojo next to the bed with a glass. So I sat there for a bit and went. So I picked up the phone, had a look and then the messages from the dads, what they're doing and that sort of thing.

So.

So filled a glass filled with Mojo, finished that made the missus a cup. I had a cup of tea and thought about it. She had to go off early and I'm going, looking at everyone's times for it and I went, that's only three to four minutes out of my day. What am I doing? Three to four minutes. And I've got plenty of time to get ready and go to work, so took myself off to the lounge room, did a very quick warmup and then smashed out the 200 bike crunches. And it felt so much better afterwards for it. But you know that, as you say, that little Chris sitting there saying, I just have it off, the morning off and that sort of thing, but you know, yeah, you've got to give him the flick and commit to it.

It's so funny, isn't it? The little voice inside that we all have, you know, I've got him as well, little Alan. If we listen to him all the time, we do fucking nothing. Like we couldn't even exist. You know what I mean? It's so funny when we question, why is it even there? But it's funny when you see that a lot of the times the answers within come outside of seeing the common ground you have with those who might be going through similar stuff. Not, hey, this is what you need to do. I'm going to tell you what to do. Or hey, this is the information I'm going to read. It's actually seeing like what you said, the fathers posting what they're doing. And for those of you listening or watching this, like we have obviously the rdm, vip, like the chat group as well as the main group of vip, the website, we've got a lot of different, you know, ways that we have touch points and connect with the dads, but just seeing the traffic and one of our Dad's trains at 11 o' clock at night, Ash, and when I wake up at 4:30 in the morning, I'm going to try and I see him posting a selfie, I'm like, fuck man, this guy just finished a few hours ago and he's about to go to sleep. That's incredible. And now it's my turn. And that's inspiring, mate, you know, it really is. And the thing that I've learned, Chris, is, you know, the shares of what you've been through, especially some of the health concerns. Amazing, mate. What a gift, what a miracle life is. And I think the universe always throws us exactly what we need at the time. The hard part is having the, the awareness and the clarity which ultimately is stillness, we call it creating space to just slow everything down and then to just listen like, just this is a quick share. Like my first daughter exposed my how weak my internal frame actually was. I was looking for everyone else to validate my life, which led to challenges with my relationships, challenges with my business, challenges with my own self confidence and esteem. Even though I was an elite athlete and owned a gym. Go figure, mate. You know, second child helped me dial in the power of focus on just one thing. I got rid of the gym at the start of the year. Was not serving me at all, was no longer growing with that environment. And it's nothing to do with the people or even people who want to own gyms. That's great, good for you. But for me, no, it's too many moving parts. Just with number three, it's tripling down on now energy and how important that is, which is why my nutrition is bang on. I know we're going to tweak yours so you got plenty mates so you don't burn out. And it's just a case of there's always a message with something. It doesn't mean just with fatherhood, but if we're open to it, it presents itself. What do you feel? What does your gut instinct say? Like what were you missing mate. Like you saw the supplements, but then obviously you followed some sort of trail or breadcrumbs to. To getting on the phone with me. But I don't know, why didn't you just go and do PT again or other things? What did you feel? What was some sort of deep yearning that you felt that you're missing or that you're looking for that now you can look at. But maybe at the time you didn't quite know that you just searched look.

Yeah, no, the PT did go well for me over those couple of years, but I think you've nailed it many a time, Al, when you've said you're going to PT with a young, 20, young, early 20s person training you and just doing certain things. And I was doing it once a week for a bit and then once a couple weeks, but there was nothing after that. Like, yeah, you had a bit of training program, but you didn't have a lot of feedback and that sort of thing. And I think. And I didn't have set goals, which if you haven't got goals or a bit of a challenge, you sort of. Well, I do lose my way a bit. And I think that's what happens with as dads. We get wrapped up in everything else. But don't set goals for ourselves and don't as in goals for us. You know, not goals for the family or financial goals or anything like that, but goals for us. And I think the biggest thing that led me here was that there is a structure. There are goals, there's support, there's people that you can relate to. And the biggest thing is the people that are in the dads, that are in the tribe, as we call them, come from all different walks of life. Which just blows me away because, you know, there's an enigma or stigma out there of, you know, you stick to your group of people type thing. But the stigma here is we're all dads, we're all fathers. I mean, I'm out the other end, not like you guys with young kids and that sort of thing. My two girls, you know, they're 24 and 26. Wendy's Wendy, because Wendy, my partner, she's got three kids, you know, the youngest is 22 and just found out today she'd applied. She was going to Wollongong Uni, but unsure. But she's scored a job in Wollongong now she's leaving in two weeks. So we'll have no one in the house in a couple of weeks time other than the son who lives out Wendy's son out in the back flat. So we'll be nearly on our own sort of thing, you know. So, yeah, it's that whole support network, I suppose, which I found as a great thing for me. And I see it in other dads, even the new dads that have come on recently. You can see those guys a bit of a light bulb moment when they get on the round table and listen to what other dads are going through and where they're heading now and what they're doing and what they're achieving and what they want to achieve. It's just. I just find that so refreshing and it's sort of not something that's here one minute, gone the next, you know, as you say, you know. Yeah, do this and you'll be right, mate, sort of thing. See you later. You got the coaches checking in on you at least once a week if you need a bit more help or they're checking in all the time sort of thing. I sit back a little bit and only ask things when I really need to. But I could probably ask, get a bit more engaged that way and I'm sure I will as I go on. But I've got to look at, at the other end of it now that I want to stay healthy and stay connected and even though I won't have kids at home. But Wendy and I want to stay healthy into retirement. So, you know, already what I'm doing is flowing onto her. She's starting to eat a bit better, losing a bit of weight and if all goes well this weekend with the weather and everything, you might have a second husband and wife riding their bikes like, oh, man, I can't cowman there. So blowing the dust off the bikes and get out because. Because that's a bit of a low impact thing that my partner can do. She doesn't like exercise, but maybe getting out on the bike, yes, she does come to the gym and does a little bit of a light workout, but she said she'd be interested in having a go on the bikes. We've got them there, so that's what we're gonna do. So I want to looking forward, not looking back to what's happened, move forward, don't look back.

Great words, mate. Isn't it funny too how it flows on? Like you say, I want goals for me. When you do them the right way, Chris, what happens, it has the flow and effect, like you said with your family, because you were copying a little bit of resistance earlier on, weren't you, mate?

Yeah, I was yeah, and I didn't say that, but when I first joined rdm, yeah, there's a bit of a smirk and a bit of, you know, what are you doing? And, you know, the money you're investing, you know, we could have gone on a good holiday for that sort of thing. So it was all that sort of thing. I said, well, you know, I look at it investing in my health and if I can keep my health and, well, being good and I feel good about myself, well, that'll flow on, you know, I'll be better for all of us sort of things. So it took a little while, but once you saw the changes, I think, you know, I lost a bit of weight. I was a lot happier than what I was, you know, three months ago. You know, I still get drived about all these powders and supplements that I've got and, you know, all this shit that's sitting in the cupboard, you know, sort of thing. But. But, you know, I can see it doing me good and, you know, if a little bit of that can flow onto the family and we can, you know, be all healthy and happy together, it's a win, win for all.

Definitely. When you talk about obsessions, like you're saying earlier with sports and other things when you're younger as well, as well as now having that competitive nature, I look at this and combine that with what you said about the dads being all walks of life and it's like, fuck, mate, you know, you got dads who can relate, like you said, but they are individuals, but then they connect as a team and they know that are all going through stuff in their own mind, in their own right. They support each other through it. And it's like that constant flow of what we do individually and together as a team that brings us together with. If this is an obsession, it's a good one, mate. Of actually going well. This is a leadership and performance group where we want to expand and be the greatest we can be. And that's the core element. Doesn't matter if you like black cars or red cars or you like golf or surfing. Our fundamental, our foundation that brings us together is very strong with the dads, which I love seeing. And you're one of those who spearheads that as well, mate.

Yeah, I mean, the other thing I'm finding with rdm, it's, you can, you can do as much or as little that your time allows at the time. Because we all go through different things in life and, you know, you talk about the one, just a 1% of the time. Yes. There's a ton of information there. There's a lot of stuff you can dive into, but you can pick and choose and you can ease yourself into it or like some of us, you can just, just dive in and go full steam ahead sort of thing. So I would say it's tailored, it's not really tailored but there's no pressure to do more or less. But it's the, I think seeing what other fathers are doing and the chat and everything like that, it just inspires you to do that little bit more, you know, and especially having the challenges and those sorts of things, you know, you don't need to do the challenge, but the challenge is there. And when you see other dads and when you're doing a challenge against yourself for time and that sort of thing, you know, whether you can get that extra crunch out or you know, knock off 10 or 20 seconds here and there, you know, it's healthy I think is what it's healthy for. Mind, body and spirit. I recommend it to any father that out there, no matter what they're going through, it's just been, it's just been so uplifting for myself.

What's the most powerful thing you've got someone out there and it's not that we're saying it's a plug, you have to sign up for I dm but if someone out there like what's the most powerful thing that you could advise them to look at at least exploring or opening up to who are struggling? Is it because they're isolated and looking at the right environment is have the right tools, the right like minded people. Coaching training, like what's like there's someone listening to this and they just, they're overwhelmed mate. They don't know where to start or what to do. Like what. What's some advice and just some of your own.2 cents worth in helping father and father.

Yeah, that's a good one I suppose. You know, doesn't matter what age you are when you're a father, don't feel like you're isolated and alone. You're not. And there's help out there no matter where you look. But the thing about RDM is it's a group of fathers, a group of like minded people and we're all here not to judge one another. I think as a big thing of rdm, there's no one judging you for what you're going through or what you're doing and the mistakes you're making and everything like that. We're here RDM's here to help. And some people take that the wrong way, Alan. And I know you've said that some people think, you know, they're going through a hard time and you know, we join this group and you guys are going to help us get through our divorce, but that's not what it's about. It's about, and I know there's been some comments about that rdm, but this is a group of people that want to help each other, that have like minded goals and we can help you 1% of the time. So. And there's a wealth of information out there and if you're unsure or there's something else you want to know about, there's going to be someone in that group that I will know about it or is happy to research and come back to us and say, if you want to do this or change this or whatever, there's help there. I think so I suppose is all I can say at this stage. But hands down, I would recommend it to everyone. But you've got to have the right mindset too. Like there's, there's, you've got to, you know, there's smart asses out there that, you know that have the big egos and everything like that. If you're one of those people, probably not. But for anybody else that just wants a good group of people that, that will work with you to make you a better person, this is the way to go.

Spot on, mate. And look, it's not that I'm a hard ass, but there is no sales team. I do all the phone calls.

All.

The fathers, not come through me, but they need to start well, they do, but they connect with me. That's how we had the conversation, didn't we? Because you're right, if it's ego, if we can't, we can't save people. You know, like you speak about, I mean, you shared earlier you went through a divorce, mate. There's plenty of fathers who reach out in that sense, but we can't save someone. What we're looking at is helping you build the framework necessary for you to win, which has to come from you.

That's right.

You've got to do the work.

Yeah, yeah. RDM gives you the tools, but you've got to do the work. And there's people to help you get through that work. So. Yeah, which is great.

That's awesome. And look, podcasts, YouTube channels. This is, this is one of the greatest ways that we deliver the message, mate, because it's not just coming from Me all the time too, Chris. They get to see other fathers going through it, whether they're 43, 53, 48, 46, 39. Like it's a good blend. We generally don't work fathers younger than 35. There's a different level of maturity and that's no disrespect if you're 34 and mature, you know, I'm only 35, what's time anyway? It's about looking, going, do we align with the same, the same patterns of being like minded? Which means, guess what, you will have that support. We do want you to win. I see Chris post himself when he's at the gym. I'm like, fuck, mate, it's all I see. Just doesn't stop. It's all I see, you know, what a warrior, what a weapon. It's amazing, it's incredible. You know, I've got nine operations over six years from footy and so I've gonna have a completely fucked knee and shoulder by the time I'm your age. So I'm like, man, if I can maintain that discipline when I'm Chris's age and look after my body the right way and I'll be in good shape because of what I'm doing right now. And that's that, that inspires me, mate, you know, it really does. And I want you to know that too.

Yeah, well, I mean, if I look back, I wish, wish I'd found a group back at your age, mate. It might have been a lot different or it may be not, you know, I don't know.

So it's funny, mate, when we talk about the timing of things and it's. I mean, I know you're on here as a guest, but that's why I love sharing this stuff with the guests. I get on, but we, like, I've just had my third and I look at it in the sense of, you know what, I can kick back. I know I've got the tools to add value to the world. In my 40s and my 50s, I know I can make lots of money if I need to, right? And it's not. So it doesn't drive me because that's definitely not a form of significance. I look at him like, you know what, My son, he's a month old already. Where's that month gone, right? And there's been no sleep. But all of a sudden they'll be the same age as your kids, Chris. And I'll be like, do I want to remember and have experiences with my children when they're really, really young? Or do I hammer RDM and completely forget their childhood? Or is there some sort of counter juggling, counterbalancing? And for me, it's like, if I put this off for 10 years, Chris, and just spend time with my family, I think the message will be lost. I think this is. I think timing is very important, like you said just then. And you know, it would have been different if we tried. If this, if anyone, not just al, if anyone tried to do this 15 years ago with the uprise of, you know, with some ridiculous points, extreme feminism, no way, mate. Would have got fucking squashed immediately. Whereas people have come around, most women, including my wife, would come here and gone, you know what? Feminism's demonised itself in a sense of how it's gone extreme in certain ways. But here we are. I say to females openly, when dads win, everyone wins. And what do you think they do? They don't say, what about us? They're like, that's incredible. Because they know that means they get a better husband, the children get a better father, the workers and colleagues get a better worker and colleague or business owner or boss. You know, this is the value, not to the detriment across anyone else, but to the enrichment of helping the father who at often times is so alone or isolated or doesn't have the right tools. There's some little quick fixes in 28 day dad boy challenges. You see this nutritionist who's a 34 year old female who's never been a father with all these different stresses. Like, it's connection, it's all connection. And it found me, Chris. That's the funny part. Like it really did. I feel like father was the greatest and hardest. Still the hardest, still the greatest thing that's happened to me, mate. And here I am. Like it feels years ago since I've had a gym, whereas I had gyms for the last 10 years. But it's. Now is the time though, that's the challenge for me because I still want to enjoy my children in their life, which is why I've got a great team of coaches around me too. But now is the time. This gold standard we're setting, fathers, mate, especially now with all this bullshit with COVID fuck, mate, it's really needed. It is really needed. You know, like dads are the pillars of the family in their own right, just like mothers are. But those pillars, you need all of them. And if the female needs to carry those extra loads, there's an implosion. And then your structure of family Your structure of everything, mate. I don't know. Is that what you sort of sense and feel as well as you're moving forward, having like, this is the time for fathers to have something proper so they can even in their late 30s and 40s, to turn it around and win the second half?

Absolutely. Alan, I think you've hit the nail right on the head there that fathers do need something and sometimes, sometimes they need to be led to something like this and getting the message out. So it is a tough time. And, you know, we see it with our fathers, especially the fathers down in Victoria. Like, you know, I'm lucky, I live in the Canberra bubble and we've been able to sort of really continue as normal. But, you know, I think, you know, there's more people that we can reach out to that would really benefit from this sort of group. And it is now, you're right. If you tried this 10 years ago, even 10 or five years ago, it may not have worked or it may not. It may not have got the support. But I think fathers and men in particular now are realizing that they've now got to look, you know, we've got to look after ourselves. And there's other things than just, you know, you see so many stories of men that have put their heart and soul into work and their family are strangers and, you know, I think they're doing the right thing all the way through until the kids leave the roost and then they. It's only him, the wife and they retired. And I don't know who you are because I haven't spent the time, you know, and I think a lot of people, a lot of male and men are waking up to that now and the time is now to forge ahead.

We can't waste our turn, can we? Incredibly valuable. Which is why I love guys like yourself. I don't get too many in their 50s. We've got a good crew of the old guard gold balls. But I'm old school, you know, being Italian, having my father who's reasonably strict and older brothers, I genuinely feel like I connect with the older dads better anyway. Like, we see eye to eye and no bullshit, no fucking around. Like they mean business as well. Like, it's transparent. We own our truth, we stand up and it's awesome to see that ends, mate. It's worth. Not that I get it all the time, but I do. It's worth the abuse, the criticism, all the shit that I cop and the flack to do this and be this message, because this will be. We Talk about the RDM ranch, mate. It's coming. We'll have a fucking phenomenal movement. That really is the message. And not just for dads, for families. Because that's what it represents, isn't it? That's the byproduct. We help the father help. We help the man who is a father and then everyone else gets the benefits as well.

Exactly, exactly.

Yeah.

And I don't know that with the tribe as long as once you go over 50, the tribe doesn't start calling us the elders, that might go down too well. But the tribal elders, you know.

Like Lord of the Rings or something, mate, we'll start to get some, get some rods and stuff for you guys.

Is that what we need for Kosciusko?

Kosciuszko? Absolutely. Elders start reading off scrolls and stuff. Get the noise of the quill feather pen. Yeah, that's exciting. Isn't it though? Like I look at it because this, yeah, imagine in 10, 15 years time when we, we start to really, really build a proper, like we've got a dad for Life member for Life program in RDM as well. And it's exciting, mate, because I see it, it's like another 10, 15 years serious about getting that, you know, having the ranch, having a place where we can get off the grid and reconnect and do what we want and spend time with ourselves, with the like minded group, the tribe, you know, And I think it's exciting because as we get older together and collectively we can continue to grow and expand together and experience. You tell me you hit all your goals in the next six months, Chris. You're gonna, you're gonna be a version of you that almost certainly will then start to explore and see new goals you want to achieve.

Oh, absolutely. I think that's key to that, you know. Yes. You know, I've hit some of my goals already and I think I'll achieve, I think I'll achieve the main goal that I'd aim for for the end of the year and yeah, just create new ones. And that's what I like about it. The touch points and creating those goals for the year, for the month, for the week, and then that check in during the week to see how you're traveling because it's very easy to set a goal and then not revisit it until, you know, set a goal. New Year's, New Year's resolution. Yay. You know, and then you don't think about it until the next new year. Oh, I didn't make that one. So I'll do another resolution, you know, so to have those goals. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah. And yeah, you've got to have that to strive for something.

Yeah. Like I said, revisiting to repetition. 96% in the first four weeks fail New Year's resolutions. 96%. That's unreal, isn't it? It's incredible. But yeah, it's so true, mate. When you, when you see that, you level up, you become that version. Right. I've got. Got new goals and that becomes a journey. It's one of the latest. It's just a little quote that I added to a post I put out there and it's a place that's free of judgment, like you said earlier that you're already enough. But who knows what we can do in this life. It's juggling those two. You know what? I value myself and this is who I am. I don't beat myself down in case it's a hiccup or a fuck up or something happens. But you know, I value who I am. But who knows what I can achieve? Let's get after it. Let's try. Let's see what we can do. We never want to be the alternative, do we, mate?

That's right. Don't want to go back there, don't want to look back, forget what's happened, move forward and be the better person you can be.

Thanks for joining us today, mate. It's been awesome having you on and I hope you've enjoyed it.

Yeah. And just for the tribe out there. Fuck yeah.

The dads, man. The greatest thing ever. We got shirts. Where is it? On the side. Fyt, dad. Oh, mate, you're a legend. Thanks to those who've been watching this or those who are listening on our different. Don't forget we've got itunes, many different podcasts, Stitcher, SoundCloud, Spotify, Anchor, our own real dad Moon podcast. But what a note to finish on. Fuck, yeah. The dads. Thanks, Chris.

No worries, Al. Good on you.

Cheers.