77. Mindset Coach Drew's 2nd Round

Where'd that come from? I don't know. What is it? Don't. Don't ask. Just don't taste it.

It's banana or snot or some. But we'll start the show like that where Drew and I just looking at this bit of. On my shoulder. There's more. Oh, there's another one there. Yeah.

Just don't taste that, you'd be foreign.

Actually, I remember, I remember now. I gave Lillian some of my porridge and she. After eating some, you know, they get a little bit drilled out. She looked right over my shoulder and just went. Just put her mouth on there and just let all the shit look like it was just there to. Just a cloth to wipe. They love it.

So do it in your face too. It doesn't change month six. She still does it.

Oh, man, this is real dad movement. It is, yeah, it's real. Yeah, that's it. But we got the man, the maestro. Thanks.

No worries. Thanks for having me back in the. In the sanctum, back in hq.

Yeah, it's great having you up, mate. I thought we did more. We've done a lot of things together, obviously guys with, with rdm, but haven't done one since I think October. It's been over a year. What's happened? 12 months. That's the, that's the key with this episode. 12 months in time. It's gone fast.

It's been a big year and it's been fast. And so much growth within rdm, massively in processes and then ourselves, each other. Like it's been unreal. It's. Yeah, it's one of them years. You see all the things on, on all the socials going on. Like 2020 was the worst year ever. Same as what we've spoken about before. You sit back and you go, but look at. Everything's been accomplished in that, in that time. But yeah, shit's happened. But at the same time you go, well, look where we are now. Yeah, look how much growth there's been.

There's always. There's always growth. I mean, here we are sitting, I've got all over my shirt. Even if you're listening to this, I'm sure you can visualize and got you looking sharp with his dad's strong shirt. My eyes are killing me. I've got a seven week old at the moment and I actually feel really good. I'm not tired, it's just my eyes are killing me, which makes me present like. So if you're looking at watching this on YouTube, don't just listen to it.

You do look average.

Let's go look at Drew. I'll bring. I'll bring my arm up a little bit more and try and flex.

I actually look tanned next.

You look really tan. I think it's lighting.

I'm going to take this light home.

I've got a spare one. Home again. I brought it home. Krin said, what do you think you're doing with that? I brought that home, the tripod and said, I got a new camera anyway.

Sit in the corner with a blanket.

So hopefully this week she lets me back in the house. This week it's been six months.

You should paint the roof of the shed while you're out there.

Yeah, it needs a lick. It needs a lick of paint, that's for sure. This is dots, mate. Those. Those who are listening, they've probably been through a turbulent year, like all of us. And what Drew said earlier, guys, hits the nail on the head. When we're looking at what we're looking at, what you look at is your reality. When we're looking at how you focus and what you focus on ultimately defines your feelings towards a year, a person, a moment, an experience. Yeah. 2020 has been tough in different ways for me and in many ways for you, mate. You've had an unbelievable, transformational year, really. When I look at rdm, it's like, well, look at all the other routes that we've built into the ground to now have an even bigger found to launch off. And I guess the big point of today's episode is talking about the last 12 months in a reflective way and what you've done to change and how you've changed, you know, because you did a session just recently on for the. For the dads. Drew does our maximum videos. Great, great pump ups. Great starts to make as well. At any time. Sometimes dads catch them a few days later because they're busy and things happen. But we always make sure we follow through and we see it all. And it was great because it's talking about your emotions, controlling them, keeping in check, working with facts and lots of different moving parts. But how's the last 12 months changed for you, mate? And how have you made the changes?

The last 12 months have been massive for me. It's a lot of growth and putting my own stuff into perspective and look at different and even my own perspective on challenges in the world and socials and all that sort of stuff. There's so many different influences on your life each time. And then for myself, I've kind of got There. And I look at it and go, okay, so what are the facts behind that? What's driving that perception? What's driving these kinds of things and be able to turn that around to just really look for the truth in things and not where am I headed? What can I do to change where I want to go? How can I make myself better? How can I look at different things and triage them as well? So you got all your different priorities and what's going to serve me, what's not going to serve me, what's going to send me down the rabbit hole of emotion when that emotion is not going to serve me and those kinds of things as well. So it's really trying to keep that handle on everything. And then even here, with real dad movement, the amount of growth that I've had in that time and being able to reflect on myself, my own experiences and all the stuff from the guys and all those kinds of things and be able to put that, all that together, present that and my own research and reading and all that sort of stuff as well. My knowledge, I found my own knowledge base is a lot broader now. And, and I have a lot more in there that I never thought previous that I would have to give before. And even when, like, I've asked you plenty of times about like, what did you get beyond our. Like, I had that imposter syndrome going on where I don't, didn't feel like I, I should have been here. And now that, that 12 months is just really, the growth has been exponential for that to get there. And I go, well, I'm actually, there's value in, in what I have to do. There's value in how I feel about things. And I can express that now where before I never felt like I could. And then now it just flows a lot easier than what it ever has. That's with this as well. Anyway.

So yeah, man, a lot of wisdom, like a lot of growth I've seen with you. Incredible. And what Drew touched on there, guys, is like, am I worthy? Am I enough? Can I add enough value? And in his eyes, it's not that you didn't. Otherwise you never would have come on board, but it was the questioning, questioning ourselves. And it's like, well, shit, man. Like, it's hard work. What you said just then, it's not easy. It takes a lot of work. Yeah, it's a lot of hard work.

A lot of hard work. A lot of soul searching and a lot of reflection. Review. And again, like, I'm the kind of guy that will wear my heart on my sleeve and I'll cry at a drop of a hat. Addie had a dance concert thing the other day and I'm sitting there and I'm crying and looked around and the other parents were there. They were like, oh, this is really cool. And I'm going, no, look at this. And look, I will break into tears or laughter really easy. And it's more trying to get that control over that and understand why my emotions are reacting that way and all those kinds of things. And then being able to articulate that so that other guys, especially with IGM and all our members can look at that and go, okay, so I'm having similar experiences. How can I go from that? How can I handle this? And for my own sanity as well, is to get there and go, okay, so I'll live my emotion at the moment and now look at reflection. Where can I push that forward? And to be able to. Not you can controlling your emotions, but you're not the letting your emotion control you. So you live the live the moment, live it out, and then understand why you felt that way. And then look at how you may be able to mitigate that later on. If it's becoming an issue or if it's something you just have to live out, you live it out. And it's just one of those things.

It's hard too, because we all have a picture in our head of how something is, how it should be, what it looks like, what it is. Which means what you said then about seeking truth, or slightly earlier about seeking truth. It's hard because a lot of people already have a truth fixated inside their own head of how something is. Which means it's like that old thing, you know, must empty a cup if I'm to pour into you and one of those ancient Chinese proverbs or some shit. Sure you guys have all heard it.

It'Ll be on social somewhere.

Yeah, just. Just type in empty cup, pouring cup China. It's like we create truth where it might not necessarily hold a level of truth with our best interest at heart or of what's possible, which then puts us down a different rabbit hole of self sabotage, self defeat, not seeking growth, which means not if but when the shit does hit the fan. They're not armed with the tools to handle the monstrous variables that come in life. And they end up isolated, alone, defeated and destroyed. And they might only be 45 years old.

Yeah, and you see it all the time, but you see it far too often in the media. You'd be reading the paper and something's happened to somebody. But if they had been able to identify and be able to move forward from that, whether it was seek help professionally or even if they just looked at themselves and go, okay, so how can I. I'm feeling this way. But now look at the facts of why I'm feeling this way. What other the contributing factors to be able to turn that around and how can I turn that around? Am I willing to turn it around? And there's plenty of times, especially being dads, it's no factor. You have to get it done. You know that things have to change for your life and your kids life to be better and have them better opportunities for them. So you need to turn that around and go, I need to break some kind of cycle here to be able to become more resilient, move forward, have better relationships, all those kinds of things. And it's hard because you need to look at your. You have to look at your heart, at yourself really, really hard. You've got to look at that mirror so hard and turn it around and go, okay, where. Where do I stop? Where do I draw the line and go, I need to get better from this. And not a lot of people can do that. And I find that very. I find it troublesome that people aren't able to do that to themselves or even be able to take that on board with different. As we know, everyone runs their own race and has their own journeys and all those kinds of things. I just hope that. I wish that more people would see it before it was too late. They were too far down the rabbit hole where they've been in that emotive state for so long, but they can't find that way out. And that's where just having that awareness makes it that little bit easier to be able to go, okay, this is why I feel this way. Or what can I do now to be able to move that forward and if Then look back on my past experiences and go, if that was to happen again, how would I best handle it this time? Because I've done that growth and done that work to get there. So it's. Yeah, I just wish there was more out there where you can go, okay, rather than keep spiraling, you can stop yourself and look in the mirror and go, what can I do now to move forward from that?

Yeah, it's true power, man. Like, that's what you're talking about. Like, one of the elements of what Drew is explaining there, I would package up and say, is reflection. Oh, sorry. I'd say is being present.

Yes.

Which is one of those forms is reflection. Like you said, looking in the mirror, having a hard look at yourself. My life needs to improve, I need to get better. Like what can I do? And, and really seeing that true power which is learning something, doing and reflecting that reflection. Man, like you are using the present moment to draw wisdom from what's happened, to chart you forward into what can become. People don't do that and they think it's not a special trait. Like for the masses of the majority, no one's special, which means everyone's special. Look at some of these creations. If you're looking at technology and these buildings I see these days, it's like fucking look at the height of these buildings. My father in law says a lot of the panels, most of the panels put together with tape, but the tape's fire resistant and we've got all these like, man, it wasn't some special bloke who designed that. It was just someone who had the ability to be present and apply true power in their life. Learning something, taking action. Everything's moving, our atoms are moving, nothing stops, nothing's ever the same. But what else would you say would help? So I've spoken, just touched then on I guess being present with that awareness and reflecting on yourself to see what you can do to move forward. What else did you do to help you pull yourself out of ruts, rise up, challenge yourself, challenge the inner voice and execute and you know, win. In many different areas of life over.

The last 12 months it's more been once I've done the identification and reflection, all those kinds of things, it's coming up with a plan and implementing a plan and sticking to that. And that can be just as hard itself as the actual awareness of where you're at right now. And I used for our coaching course before I used finances as an example and this is where you need to put a plan in place. You can sit there and be really emotive and feel really down because you've got bills here, here and here and here. And how do I get that together? And the enormity of it can really drive your mental where that's when you need to stop and you just need to detach that emotion from that and go, okay, so what are the facts with that? I might have, I use the number 27. So I might have 27 bills and they're all due by Monday. But so that's going to be enormous on my brain, that's enormous emotionally I'm probably going to have cry, I'm probably going to feel really stressed, anxious about it all. Now if I was to be able to stop myself from going too far down, that reflect and go, okay, so what are the facts here? Yes, I have 27 bills. What are the most important bills that need to be paid, that I can pay immediately? And so how can I get them sorted, paid, bang, bang, bang, they're all done by Monday. The other ones that I can't do, then I'll prioritize in a list of order that I know that I can and get done quicker and all those kinds of things. So I'm going to get there and go, okay, so how do I prioritize them now from the rest? Then I just start ringing the different places where I owe them bills and go, look, I can get your money, say in a week's time or all those kinds of things. Or can I, can I also even look at another job? Is there, can I take on an extra work? Is there capacity for that? Is there capacity for me to leave my current workplace and move somewhere else where one, I might be happier, so I'm going to be happier, I'm going to be more productive, or two, I'm also in a position where I might get, that might be a higher pay bracket as well. So that way we'll take that little bit of pressure off financially and I just use, again, I used it as an example because that will give you a plan then just to go, okay, these are the facts. I owe this much money, I owe this many bills, pay the ones that are immediate and then work my way through the rest, prioritize those as I go. And there's no different to any other facet in life really. If you can come up with some kind of plan and you go, okay, so what's the immediate stuff? What's the important stuff? And then work your way through the accessory stuff and then everything else will come together and then it's more being able to again control your own emotions and your own emotional reaction to those. And, and it could be anything. It could be you break your leg and you're out of action. For like Pete, he's busted his foot, so he's out of action for six weeks. So how can then can he mitigate? He lived the emotion when it first happened and then how best can he mitigate that to be able to still get to where he wants to be over the next six weeks and still heal his hand, he's foot, so he's.

Ready for the summer yeah, it's having that ability to sort of separate sometimes. Go through. We're human beings, live your emotions, that's important. But then separate and go. What is this moving me forward? Like, is this emotion taking hold of me and it's putting me in a place where I don't want to be? Or is there a different way I can bring what you've just explained and structure in my life, man? Structure of thought, structure of implementation. It's huge. So many people, especially Dad's, like, fuck, always on the pump. So a lot of times, what do we do? We're winging it. We wing it.

Okay?

We wing this, we wing that. All right, we'll see how we go. It's like this rebellious nature we have inside of us as humans wants and desires freedom. So when we're not controlling things that we think we can, like our children or relationships or work and other variables, we straightaway cast off into the wide world of winging it. And this becomes a perception of freedom when ultimately creating more chaos instead of going, well, how can I have more control over the structures of my life to implement the right things for me? It's so funny too, guys. Like, if you're listening to this or watching this, almost certainly if you're watching this, you've changed over and you're listening now. If you're listening to this or watching this, it's such a hard reality that a lot of people don't actually see, man. Like, it's now this is just what happens. It is what it is. Maybe it doesn't have to be. Apart from what I said earlier with my eyes being sore, my nutrition's fucking bang on. And it's not without being a saint, but it's bang on, like really good. Better than when I was an athlete. My energy levels are huge. My temperament, nature in the family is great. Even though it's chaotic with a newborn and an 18 month old that doesn't listen, she does whatever she wants. And then another daughter is in high demand and I'm still training four days a week. It's great because I'm creating this structure and that which I think Jocko says that discipline equals freedom. And a good saying that you love, love, sharing and saying is do what is right, not what is easy. So true, man. Like, just do the fucking right thing. And it's a little bit extra at the front end, but the back end.

Is huge dividends, massive rewards. And again, like, the discipline equals freedom. With Jocko willing, like, if you, if you do have them, financial problems. You structure a disciplined financial goal or management system and then okay, it's hard at the moment. And again you're steering away from that easy option. You're still doing the right thing. You're steering away from that. And you're going to be able to bring that forward and go, okay to now take five years time. I'm so much further in front than I was five years ago because I've maintained that structure. And with the span of control and also the structure sometimes that goes to the window too. We're all dads. Shit happens. And that's when you kind of. You get that emotional reaction because you can't control shit. And then again on the flip side, you need to look at that and go, okay, I'm starting to get all wound up because I can't control something. Then you need to readjust your strategy then and look at what you can control. What can you control in that situation that will okay, it's not the plan that you had. But how can I adjust my plan now to still be able to navigate that and move forward so I don't feel like I'm losing control and don't end up down the rabbit hole of anxiety and just full blown emotion where you don't want to go too far.

Life is a series of patterns. Your emotions are patterns as well. So what Drew's explaining there as well, guys, it's a great breakthrough. We haven't gone, you know what, yeah, she's gonna hit the fan. Life is gonna get in the way. But guess what? You're predisposed to default to a better series of patterns of what you've already built. Like I said built the front end so the back end's there. Even when you're under, under the pump or in damage control. You have pre wired into your brain, into your heart, into your psyche, into everything. How you can handle when there is variances either way and if it's completely blown out the water, cool. At my core being my fundamental level. Which doesn't mean it takes 50 years to build. But at my fundamental level what have I built in in a light of perspective? So am I optimistic? Is there a way? What are my options? And asking quality questions of yourself to navigate through the choppy waters. But one thing I love to I love this like structure and awareness to be present run with those two. Like Drew looks at our accountability mindset is a phenomenal asset to RDM and love having you mate. Really do. It's really helped. It doesn't have to just come from me, it comes from you, the other coaches. We've got a great team. In your experience with what you've done with us in RDM so far, when we're looking at patterns of awareness and structure, there being none, what have been the pitfalls you've seen with some of the dads or the challenges or up against the walls that you, you know, you've seen them face? And then we'll touch on the opposite. Those who have conquered that.

Okay, the guys that don't actually get over where they're stuck, if they get stuck on something or it takes a little while to get. For them to get stuck, it's. It's actually awareness for a lot of guys and because they feel really emotive about something and they'll just keep replaying it so they get stuck. Replay in their head. In their head, in their head. Or there'll be something that happened, sort of. This is what I touched on with the coaching video earlier, too. Might have happened five years ago. And you go, okay, where was I? And something might have happened so that you get that memory or that emotion floods back, okay, so where was I in myself five years ago compared to where I am now? And how would me. Like how I am now? How would I handle that, that same experience now? Is. Is there a better way that I would handle it? Am I better in myself? On a scale of 1 to 10, I might have been a 1 then in myself. Now I'm like an 8. So now I can look back at that and I go, okay, so how is this emotion going to serve me when it's like I'm. I'm reflecting back on a memory or I use how I experienced that to be able to go, how can I experience. How can I better equip myself now for that memory or that event that is similar rather than going back down the same road I did before? How can I then take what I've learned from that and move it forward where a lot of guys.

Not a.

Lot of guys, but there are some guys that will get stuck on that one thought and doesn't matter how much you try to guide them and be able to make them aware of that until they're aware of it themselves and the penny drops for themselves. That's when you see the change. Or it might even be just a different mindset. Check on. They might have their own view on this issue here and they can't shake that. But if someone else comes in, one of the coaches, even one of the dads in the tribe, and we're all together and go, but if you thought about this, and then suddenly there's a mental shift and it's like, well, I didn't think of that. And that's why I've been stuck going down this road, because I didn't think that maybe if I turn right, then I can end up somewhere else. So it is a lot to do with awareness and where they feel they sit with that issue. And if they don't address that, then that's when you see them go around and run in circles. Especially with, like, some guys get stuck on the weight loss thing because they jump on the scales every week and it doesn't move for like six or eight weeks, you know, straight the scales out the window. I actually said that to someone in the last couple of months because they. They got stuck and went, just take them outside and throw them out in the bin. And because you don't want to keep going over the same. Same thing all the time, change something up. So take measurements instead of jumping on the scales. And turns out they'd lost, like three belt notches and all those kinds of things, but they were looking at their markers the wrong way. So if you look at. If you can just get that mental shift in how you look at your markers, then that will also in turn change the way you perceive things as well.

That's powerful, man, because we're too quick to just cast off experiences, cast off our own value of self in seeing that there's always a gift or something you can adjust or coordinate. That's the value. That's the value of life, man. There's always something you can pull out. That doesn't mean I'm a robot looking at everything going, how can I use this for the future? Yeah, I'm present. I enjoy playing with my kids. And there's times when I don't need to turn the brain on. But it's that intrinsic awareness, if you do find a roadblock or a hump to recognize the pattern and recognize what can change. And like you said, then the different markers you can put in place to help them. And one of those big things in that awareness is simply remembering, like, surely, surely there's been a period or a stage or a moment or a decision or a thought process where every dad listening to this has fucking won. He's done something. He's going, fuck, yeah, that was good. I did this. But Even if you're 10 years old, fuck, who cares? Like, I did this. I won at that. I conquered this. I actually surprised Myself with that and. Okay, cool. Look at that. And just remember, like, remember what you can use, Remember what you can do, Remember what it felt like even to link the emotions with the facts. Unreal. My coaching session that I'd did with the crew, what was one of my goals affirmations, because for me, I know I can be a big fucking powerhouse and help create change in the world, especially with the right team around me. But with the crazy, chaotic world, especially at the moment you forget I get in this mode of shit. I just need to make sure Roman's ass isn't exploding and the kids aren't crying, Lillian's not climbing up, grabbing a knife on the bench, and it's like, hang on a minute. It's okay. You can handle all this. But take that moment out to just remember that's important. Remember what's possible and where you are. But I guess on the flip side, though, mate, like, you've seen, you know, I've seen a lot of the dads, like, what Drew talks about is a minority of dads going through teething processes and feeling their feet, like, finding their feet. Which is why I love the different coaches, because we keep popping around with different perspectives and different ways to deliver the same message of greatness. Which means, like you said, they get that click, boom, that was it. And then something else will click. We're like, ah, now I know what Al meant or Drew meant or now this makes sense with the nutrition. Well, that makes sense with my training. What are some of the fruits of the labor that you see with those guys who are aware they've got that structure and they're putting that right pattern in place, like the wins, the changes physically, mentally, family.

Well, we've got one client now or one of the guys now he is time poor, hasn't been able to train too much, but his nutrition's on point. He's going through what he needs to go through with relationships and all those kinds of things and getting his mindset right. And I was talking to him the other day and he said he's never had a better relationship with his wife and family for maybe five years. And even though he can't get that training in, he's had that, that awareness and his own growth to be able to go, man, I'm a bit down that I can't get this training in, but look at all the different bits and pieces here that I am able to bear the fruit for now, where a lot of guys or some guys will look at that. I haven't been able to train where he's been able to switch it and go, but look at all this, all the plethora of stuff I've got over here. And again with guys that he's better in fitness and training and weight loss and some guys that would never ever think before about doing a high intensity boxing class. Now he's lining up for two or three a day or whenever he's got a chance, he's in there. And like I said, I mentioned before about the scales and, and that might have been where they were stuck because they couldn't mentally get their head around why their weight had not moved and it had plateaued. But then you just give them that cue. You go, how do your pants fit? And they're like, hang on, I'm going down four pairs of pants. And you go, there you go, you were stuck on that part there. And then once they get that and once they work out where they can use that as a win, that's when everything else ties into place as well. So they've got that, okay, the pants have come down four sizes but then now they've got that boost and they've got that confidence and they've gone, okay, beautiful. How can I apply that confidence boost? And what I've already learned to be able to make my life better in other facets and it all goes hand in hand. Like the guy that's got better relationship with his family now and guys that are losing weight, once you get that confidence in one area, the other ones start to come up as well and you end up just into that, that growth, that growth spurt where everyone plateaus, but you're going to hit that growth spurt where you fire up for a bit, everything goes really well and then you sit in that plateau and then something happened and it'll fire off again. And it's more just that awareness of where they are, that mental shift and what that. And the guys are putting in plants in place with themselves to look and go, okay, this is what's happening here. And they've contacted us through the dream team or through the guys with the tribe as well and go, oh, look, this is happening at home or this is happening with my training. Is there something I can pick up? And there's always someone who's either been there or they've done it or they know someone who has and they can just drop their little tidbit and go, maybe try this. And then just that the power of the group has helped them be able to go, okay, I'll try That I'll look at that and then be able to bring themselves out of that as well.

The environment plays a big role, doesn't it? But as a whole, like we, we're helping the, the man and the big hat he wears. His father, that's a big hat. And there's other ones with work and relationships. Yeah, that's right. Yours looks bigger than mine. I need to lean back. We're helping him change his life. Now the term life coach and how it's commonly accepted and distributed is probably the reason why we don't say we're life coaches because we're not. But we help them change their life. Where we're going with RDM is uncharted. I've not seen any body and any entity or anything do what we do across the different areas, those big facets of their life. There's some big ones, man. And there's past, there's present, there's future and then there's body and then there's mind and then there's self esteem, self worth. They the fuck. They're the big parts. Big parts. And the greatest way that we create this wholesome connection is helping them identify, helping them get out of their own way, giving them the tools and the awareness to go, hey, it's not just a three week thing. Giving them that understanding as you go. I'm invested long term because it's not a three week thing. With a few meal plans and training. If it was that easy to do that and to win, do you think it'd be that easy to then undo and be fucked up again? Oh yeah, of course.

You see the 28 day dad bod challenges and I've lost 15 kilos, you know, beauty. As soon as they finish the dad Bod challenge, they're straight down the pub eating chicken cecils and smashing 10 beers and you go, hang on, you haven't actually learned anything. The information that you've been given, you haven't actually absorbed because you need that long term. You're after that long term goal, but you've just got the immediate gratification. There's no like, you really need to have that long term exposure for any change. You can't just throw it in and go bank, go for it. And that's where that comes from. Because they've chased that immediate gratification. Look, I've just dropped 28 kilos in beauty. You have. Let's see how you go in the next four weeks and see if you revert back to your old habits or if you've actually learned some things along the way.

Things can start from the outside in, but they ultimately have the greatest effects from the inside out. So what we're talking about here is planting a seed. Does that mean if you've been, if you've been fucked for 10 years, gonna take 10 years to undo? No, no, because the intensive program we have here and how we operate in the different moving parts of the dads, the tribe, the energy from the coaches, the direction, the structure, the five pillars in, how we operate it compoundingly works much better than the self sabotage and the detriment they've caused themselves. So we get dads who generally they can click right away, but generally after that sort of 14 month mark in IDM, just over a year just seems to be like, this is it, Al. Like, this is who I am. And we're talking about planting the seeds like the old bamboo tree takes five years to four years to come out of ground and then in that fifth year it's just straight up. Yeah, that's cool. People might laugh at someone watering dirt every single day for, or every second day or every third day for four years and just laugh and it's like, yeah, but people don't understand. That's what I see when you're talking about the value, especially because, you know, you're covering our accountability, our data, the mindset side of things. With rdm, when we're looking at awareness and structure, planting the right seeds, they can grow up to some pretty big bloody oak trees, can't they?

Oh, yeah. There's some guys are killing it in all facets, some are killing it in some because other pieces haven't come together yet. But you can see from what they've been telling us and what they've been putting in that it's on the way and you go, man, this is unreal. Because you're watching it over the course of a big period of time where all the different pieces are starting to form the puzzle. And like you say, some guys are already there and with that 14 month period and that's around, to be honest, that's where it is with some guys because they just get there and they click and then they're there and there's guys now. You just check in on them once, everybody once a week and go, hey, how you going, mate? Yeah, sweet, but I'm just still crushing it and doing this, this and this and you're like, sweet. You know anything? No, I'm cool. Because it's all starting to come together for me.

Yeah, that's why we have a Members for life program, you know. 400 days. Yeah, we get you for 400 days. We know that you're going to need some tune ups. But just knowing that we're there.

Yeah.

Equally helps them stay the course and continue to invest in themselves the right way. Because that planting seed, what we're talking about here. Fuck, man. Like a meal, a meal replacement shake or 28 day charge. That's like getting the tree and just cutting a big branch off and just sticking it in.

Pop.

It's tilting, going, hey, it looks good. Look, the green, the leaves are still green. It's a bonsai. The leaves are green. It looks all right. And it's like, ah, it's, it's wiltering and dying. What's going on here? It's like, yeah, well, you know, where are the roots? You know, where's the grounding? Where's the foundation? Because every dad who's come through and done those sorts of things, when I've had the phone call, they all say the same thing, man, yeah, I did it, it was great. It was successful. And then it was, yeah. Or I got results, I did. And to which I say, because everything's action, not taking actions in action, right. Everything will give you a response. Is it the result you want? And success to me is determined by the longevity. That's the big thing, man, the longevity. But what would be a starting point of advice? Because there's heaps of dads and it's awesome. We got like over 10,000, probably 12 or 13,000 at this stage now, downloads on our podcast. Man, that's really cool. Really enjoying the reach that we're having and love that you guys listen or watch on YouTube. But you know, some of the dads obviously haven't been exposed to the environment that we put out and how we lay the foundations for them. I don't know, man. Like, what would be just maybe as we wrap this up, a couple of key points to just give them a bit of directional structure to help them if they feel like they're stuck or in a rut or what's the best thing you find that's helped you and help the guys that you work with.

For myself personally, it's more if you do find yourself stuck, look at why you're stuck, look at the facts, why you're stuck. And it's hard because you got to stand in front of the mirror and look at the mirror and go, look. You have to be brutally honest with yourself and whether it's fitness, whether it's nutrition, money, self, how you feel about family, how you feel about yourself, mentally, physically, all those kinds of things. And it's hard because you, you have to be like, everyone's told to be kind to yourself as well. And there's times when you have to. But if it's the watershed moment where you have to turn it around, you need to look there and you have to be brutally honest with yourself and then accept where you are today, then once you've accepted where you are today, leave that emotion because it's gonna hurt. Not everyone, only the really ego mania maniacs, like, think they're killing it and they like Dr. Robotnik, off Sonic Hedgehog, I'm going so well, in reality, that's not it. That's not where you are. It's going to really, really hurt. When you look in the mirror and you look at all your downfalls or even some that you need to bring together, and there'll be others that you won't know that are in the background that will come together as well, once you get that awareness and you can see where you need to pick things up, what it is. Again, some are going to be really subtle, you're going to miss those. But the big ones, the big key elements are the ones that you need to work on straight, because you can identify that straight away. And then from that, then you want to devise a plan into how can I change this? What can I do? What can I physically do and control to turn this around? Can I change where I'm headed here? And how do I do that? And it might be a quick fix, something might be right in front of you that. And you go, okay, if I change two things, then that one's done. And I've, I can shelve that now because I've done that growth. But there's quite a lot of things where you need 6, 12, 18 months, 2 years, however long it takes you to get through to that. And they're the ones that are going to be the most beneficial and also the most rewarding, and they're the ones that are going to hurt the most. And you're going to, like we spoke about before, you're going to look back through memory and there's going to be days when your emotion is going to take you back down the same road where you were with that same issue. And that's when you need to look and go, okay, so 12 months ago I was there with this issue. And this is how I'm starting to feel about a similar issue now, but how did I handle it then? And how do you think I'll handle it now? And again? It's a lot of self awareness and being brutally honest with yourself and then planning.

Yeah, I love it, man. Asking questions, that's a big thing for me. Ask a question yourself and take ownership. I guess someone might have fucked you up, someone might have done something wrong by you or done a number on you, and these things happen and it's. It's rough, it's hard, man. You don't need to take ownership over someone else's actions, but you can take ownership over how you're going to handle it.

Exactly.

After a period of time, there's always a, there's always a process, and there's a process to everything.

But you have that grieving process after virtually any major thing like that. And again, it doesn't. It could be anything. There's always going to be that grieving process. You have to, you have to go through that yourself. Whether it's. Look, it could be anything that you're going through. And you look and you go, man, I'm not happy with how heavy I am right now. And you go, okay, how can I turn that around? And you have to, as you say, live that emotion because that grieving process of, I'm not happy with where I'm at, I feel really bad about myself. You have to live that grieving process. And then as you start to come out of that, you need to put a plan in place before you come out of that. And then as you come out of that grieving process and start moving forward into growth and acceptance and all those kinds of things, that's when you can then ramp up your plan and action. Your plan as you come along. And there's going to be times when you're going to identify different ways that you can pick up better or you can pick up faster, or is there a way that now, once I've got this plan started, how can I adjust that plan to get me to where I want to be quicker so that I don't feel like this anymore? And just little simple tweaks as you go along the way. And there's going to be times when you drop back as well. You're going to slip, but that's okay because you can look back and go, okay, how can I keep pushing forward? I'm going to leave this emotion and then, and then work from there.

It's important, man. It's important that you don't suppress the things you have. Like, if this is a key. I think we're chatting about this. If you don't suppress some of the big, big. There's some big ones, hardships you go through and you allow the emotions and the process, but you couple that with seeking growth and change for yourself, it no longer becomes a trauma in your life as opposed to a moment that helped you move into who you are now becoming. And that's a powerful thing to have, man. Because sometimes people will hold on to things too much or for too long. And I mean, shit, what's time anyway? Like you talk about taking 18 months, two years to improve or get better. Like that time's gonna pass anyway. It's gonna go any. You can allow the time to pass in 2021-2022-2023-2028. You can allow that time to roll through in your chronological space as a better or a worse aversion.

Exactly, yeah.

Because you can't say the same because you've wasted three years, five years, eight years as the same, which means you've gone backwards.

Yeah, you can evolve because everyone else is moving forward. So if you stay stuck, you go three years, you're three years behind everyone else straight away. And it's hard. It is one of the hardest parts of growth to be able to do that. But you don't want to be stuck for too long. You want to go, okay, acknowledge it and live it and then look at ways to get out of. It's bloody hard work. But at the same time, you need to sit there and you think, especially with the dads, you need to ask yourself this question, what kind of dad you want to be for your kids in three years time if you're still stuck on something that's happened now and how does that serve them? How does that serve you mentally? How does that serve you in your capacity to be a father? And how can being stuck help them? Will it help them or will it be their detriment? What can you do there to. What do you need to do to change? What do you need to do to be there for them in the next five years? But again, we speak about this with, with that moving all the time. You're creating a legacy for the kids as well. So what kind of legacy do you want them to have when they're finished or when you're finished and you're dust? So where do you want your. All the next generations to move forward from and where you want them to go? And that's one of the big questions you ask yourself, where am I going? What am I doing? And what is. And I've used this plenty of times as an example for our guys and myself. I get there and I go, okay, if I what can I change to be a better father for my daughter? What do I need to change to be a better father for my daughter? Is this area here. Okay, but this one needs to be picked up. Okay, so if this I need to pick this one up, what do I need to do that I need to identify where I need to pick that up and work on that. But also at the same time, use that dichotomy where things are going to change and move around and. But it's going to be days where the kids drive your mental and you lose that patience that you thought you had. And then you go back and you apologize to the kid and go, look, there's no excuse, but this is what's happened, and blah, blah, blah. So that way it's out there and done. And then not beat yourself up over that as well. You're going to anyway, because you're going to have that little grieving process about, man, I shouldn't have done that. And you feel really bad. And then you need to be able to turn that around and go, how can I handle that better next time? So there's questions you need to ask yourself when you're in that position, looking in the mirror, going, what do I need to change? What can I identify that I need to change? And then how can I do it? The next one is, why? Why do you want to do it? And what are you leaving behind for your kids? That's. As a dad's experience, that's important because.

It is still your life. It's your life, it's my life. So how does it, like, why is this important? Which means how is helping me be a better father for my children or helping in this, helping in that make me happier, improve my life as well? That's an important thing you couple with. But it's a crazy thing, man. People get so busy in the rat race of life, they forget to stop and go, hey, this is my life. You've got a perception and a way that you see things literally through your eyes and how you feel things. It's Drew's world, Al's world, your world, listening to or watching this. And even though there's an air of the same or been there, done that, because there is like, you know, everything you've done or gone through, there's probably been someone who's gone through almost the same, it's still not you. And that's what I want to close off with here, guys. Like, you've got to. You've got to be able to pioneer your own life. Like it's. There is no other word. I'll gives. Like you're going to go into unknown, uncharted territory, maybe known to others and maybe you can connect and communicate, which is why the tribe's so fucking amazing and the coaches here and what we have are amazing because we connect with that and help you get a leg up instead of having to drag yourself through the shit or the mud all the time. Hey, cool. A, I don't feel as bad because there's nothing wrong with me because others have been through it, and B, there are actually other ways I can attack this to help me move forward. Pioneer your own life. It's a given because when you do that, good or bad becomes your legacy, doesn't it?

Exactly.

Sure does. Mate, it's been awesome having you on.

Thank you. Thanks for having me back in hq. It's been a few months since I've been here.

It's been a little while.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's been a little while, but love having you up, mate. It's always good to catch up. We get some great stuff done. I hope you guys have enjoyed this episode and got some value out of it. It's. If you get a chance, they should go back and watch. You've got longer hair. Yeah, yeah, maybe I've got short hair.

I did have long hair.

It's not much, but we got AS last October.

Yeah.

Actually, I'd be keen to go back and listen to that and just go, wow, look at the change. What were we speaking about? Even as coaches? Because Drew was a coach, he'd come on board not too long, a couple of months, I think. Three months maybe. So it's been nearly a year and a half and. And here we are. It's a. It's like a changing organism, really, isn't it? What's an organism? It's like changing. It's changes, it molds, you know, it's becoming a huge ecosystem, what we do, with an amazing group of men. Amazing group of coaches.

Actually. I reflected on that last night, I think, when you were doing the Sunday charge up, and I thought about it myself and I went from where RDM was, from where you were, from where I was, from the other coaches, where they were 12, 18 months ago, to where we're. Where we are now, where we're heading, and the different processes and systems that were built and put in place and all those kinds of things. I sat back and I. It's been an exciting 12 months. It's been a massive 12 months. And you don't realize because you're in the moment, you're doing this here, that there, there, there. And it's not until you look back and you go, man, so much change.

Yeah. And there'll be bigger moments. That's the beauty of it. Yeah. The little things right at the start, they're going to be even bigger moments, the events. We're going to go Kosciusko at the end of this month, which is going to be epic. Yeah. We'll almost certainly have multiple events next year, which will be amazing. As well as expanding on our supplements, our apparel, our equipment, we're going to have dads set up in their own home gyms. And big things coming, man, for all this. Exciting. It really is. But the biggest lesson from everything today, guys, is just knowing that it's impossible to lose. If you consistently grow.

Exactly.

Or consistently seek growth. You might not feel like you're growing at times. You're standing on the step. I haven't climbed the ladder or I haven't climbed the steps. Okay. I've gone downstairs a little bit. That's it happens. Happens. But if you consistently seek growth, it's impossible to lose me. I can't see like I've had been out. What is it, nearly. Nearly eight months. I've been out of my gym four. Feels like years ago. Not that it's a bad thing owning a gym just for me. I can't believe how much I've grown since.

Oh, yeah. Massive.

Yeah.

So much difference between when you're juggling to now. Yeah.

It's unreal. So unreal. Thanks again, mate. No worries.

Thank you.

Good having you on. Hope you guys enjoy this. Checking out other on YouTube and or on our podcast platforms. We've got a fair few ones, don't we?

Yes. Stitcher, Spotify, Air, something I can't remember.

Anchor, SoundCloud, iTunes as well. Itunes is very good. We get a lot of our dads watching. We've got our own Real Dev, Movement 1 YouTube, Facebook site. Enjoy. Dive on in. Make sure you keep rolling through. If you have started or you're listening to some of these podcasts. Keep it going for the month of November. We are giving away this one. So you might not see because you're listening, but primal power to move the body. It helps you establish the right relationship with yourself and food is what we covered last month. Movement is what we're covering this month. That's your Primal Power. Nutrition was last month. And this month we're looking at Primal Power. Happy to give you that book. That's a very powerful thing that helps you establish your own relationship with your body and how it works. Because that's important, isn't it, mate?

It's 100%. Even with movement, that transfers across mentally as well. And when you don't move, you feel worse. If you do move, you feel awesome. And then mentally, the other way around is when you get used to moving all the time and you don't. And that plays on your own mind. Then you go, hang on. But yeah, it's massive.

It's all part of it big time, man. Everything you do physically affects you mentally. Don't forget that. So you don't have to become Mr. Olympia, but moving the body and establishing the right relationship of how you should move yours, so you have the long game in hand, so you win. It's not about three weeks, it's about decades of movement. It's ultimately going to help you with the real estate between the years. Beauty. Thanks, mate. Thanks, guys.

Thank you.

Take care. We'll see you again soon.

Cheers.