79. DadStrong Matt

The heat when it's hotter up here and just so people use it as an outlet after work, they decide, I need a beer. It's been a hard day, but it's. Yeah, I guess. And then it just becomes a part of your life, doesn't it? Once you do it long enough.

Becomes a habit. Yeah.

How have you found your life's changed since you've obviously pulled back on the booze and gotten fitter and healthier and lost weight?

Oh, it's changed heaps. Yep. It's. I guess folk like being more awake, I guess. Like you're not in that. In that cruise mode, you know, like just cruising through life. Like, I actually realize what's happening some, you know, with maybe it's even saying a swear word or, you know, in more control as to what. What I'm going to do. You know, road rage, all of that stuff. Like, you know, just from listening to what you guys say and. And doing that, it just actually thinking about it now and going, you know, right. They're right. Like, old mate probably isn't aware in front of me that he's, you know, doing whatever he's doing. But me screaming out of my windscreen at him doesn't change anything for him, does it? It just. It just. All it does is takes my energy and focus away from, I guess, being peaceful and just enjoying life. Yeah.

So energy and focus, they're two big things, Matt.

And we'll use that as our intro.

Welcome to another Real Dev member podcast. What do you reckon, mate?

I found that energy and focus is really big and we will use that. We'll run that. That's a great intro, mate. Talking about alcohol and the role it plays in many people's lives and for yourself, how you've noticed a change in a shift. But when we're looking at folks and energy, you're right. A lot of people, I think, just tend to be foggy. Like they're just in a foggy state. They're never actually really building themselves or changing or improving their circumstances or even having a higher level of awareness of what happens around them, which means they can't control their actions or they get triggered or whatnot. But how long have you been with RDM for, mate? And I guess I wouldn't mind you just sharing a bit of your background and your story of why you reached out and where we are now.

Yeah.

So I've been with rdm for about 20 weeks, and I guess I was at that point in my life where I knew I needed to change But I just didn't know how to change. And as I probably said before, you know, I was looking for a quick fix or, you know, something there. The man challenge was the thing I guess I was looking into. But, you know, knowing that I might as well just chuck the hundred dollar note in the bill in the bin, because after that four weeks, if I lasted that long, I would just go back to the same old me. So, you know, yeah, as other guys have said, I don't know how I found rdm. It's like it found me. It just. It appeared there. And I guess I was probably hesitant at first looking at it. I think we probably talked for a couple of months there on and off, and then, yeah, just went, I think I need to investigate this a bit further. And yeah, here we are.

Yeah, mate, Fast forward five short months and did Kosciusko with us, our first national event, which was pretty epic, which we'll definitely dive into in this episode. It was awesome. I really enjoyed seeing what you guys brought together. It exceeded my expectations, Matt, on what I wanted to deliver and have in terms of environment and energy. And that's because of all of you. But I'm curious, mate, because it's. And while it's been a chaotic year in 2020, it's always interesting that there is that level of holding back or hesitation what not. Do you know why? Even within yourself and your story, do you know why you held back or held off? Or is it because, what, predominantly online, you weren't sure about whether that would work or me as a person? Or was there a reason why there's a bit of a holding off period before you dived on into it?

I just. I guess you're always doubtful of what. What it actually is, but. And then it's probably that. That little voice inside saying, you don't need to do that. You know, we're cruising along, all right, so don't do it. But to be honest, I wish I'd done it sooner because once I real. Well, I guess even at the start, you don't realize what. What you're actually joining. You just think that you're joining something to lose weight, you know, but once you've actually been in, and it probably takes a couple of months of doing the roundtables and doing the charge ups and listening to other guys and interacting in the group to. To actually realize that it's so much more than that, as I said.

On.

The testimonial, and that weight is nothing. I don't even look at it now. I did weigh myself before we went to Kosciusko and I think I was about 106, so that's 10 kilos down from when I started. But as I said, I can see it here in my face, I can see it in my guts. I can, you know, here you can, you can see things are changing and as we said, there's. I can definitely see muscles coming on. So the scales really don't give you an accurate answer, do they?

Yeah. And it's like you said, it's so much more than just your weight. It's about giving you energy and giving you structure. With that structure, your self value and self respect, how you handle yourself with others, how you spend your time. You know, we're all going to spend the time anyway. We're entering or a lot of the dads similar stuff are entering, or in the second half. Like, it's one of those things where sometimes, especially with that answer, I ask myself, like, do you think that I'm actually speaking the wrong message, like with our ads or our marketing and the message we push? Or do you think it's something that is sometimes too hard to describe the environment and the energy of rdm? Or do you think it comes down to sometimes that little voice inside, like I said, and a bit of self sabotage and just Dad's holding back on creating that change they know they need.

I think it is a massive step to take the step that I've taken.

And.

People just aren't ready to do it. They just, I think they just live that life of, you know, they go to work, they eat bad food, they drink alcohol, you know, they don't, they don't really live life, they just, they just survive, don't they? And people just don't want to get out of that comfort zone. They just, that that's what they've done for the last 20 years and I was exactly the same. And it just, that's it, they just go, well, that's what I do. You know, we're talking about it at work the other day and they said so many people would just, that's what they do. They'd live week to week, paycheck to paycheck, just the same, you know, buy their takeaways the same days a week, alcohol, smokes, whatever they do. And you know, one of the guys at work, I got some new tyres fitted on Wednesday afternoon and it was at 3 o' clock in the afternoon. I got me jeans, me boots and me polo shirt on that I wear to work. Three o' clock old, mate said, it'll be 40 minutes. Do you want to go for a walk or do you just want to sit here? And I said, no, I'll go for a walk. So I did a 3K walk in 35 degrees with jeans on. And one of the work the next day says, oh, Matt, I seen you walking up, up the road there yesterday. He said, what were you doing? So I went for a walk, mate. Well, what for? I said, do some exercise for the day. Yeah, but why? Why would you want to do that, you know? I said, because. I said, that's what. Yeah, I said. I said, when you get, like a bit older in life, because these blokes are only 20, 21. I said, you realize that smoking pot, smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol is something that you don't need to do, like you did when you were 20, mate, you know? And they said, oh, no, shit, no, we'll still be doing it then. I said, well, that's good. But I said, I want to be around to annoy my grandkids, you know, and stir them up for my kids. I said, I've got payback to get on these kids, you know. So I said, I'm getting off all that shit and I'm focusing on, you know, getting fitter and healthier. Yeah, but they just look at you like, oh, that doesn't make sense. Like, you know.

It'S interesting, isn't it? And for me, it's interesting because when I see people who. Not that I'm saying they are, but when I see people acting like victims or just taking the lesser option or shifting blame or responsibility or ownership to others, really, they don't even know they're doing it. It comes down to that, that level of settling, like you said, and they're not striving to have an awareness or understanding like some people, like I said, will never understand why you went for that walk because they don't want to get out of the current paradigm that they live in. And that's a big thing, mate. Like, you're doing that is unreal. You're creating space, taking time out for yourself. And what I see a lot of the times, Matt, which is why, A, I like connecting with dads that are older, but B, that connection comes with a level of purpose and importance, is. I see a gap. I see a gap between guys who become dads for the first time, between sort of 24 and 30, and then 45, I'm falling apart. Life's turned to shit. And it's like, mate, some of These dads. Because I have a lot more phone calls than dads who are members. And that's not because they said no to me. It's because they said no to themselves or they weren't a good fit for us. And I look at these guys, I'm like, wait, fuck, 15 years, 20 years, some five years, okay, five years you won't get back. Like, why do you think there's just this level of settling? Or do you have any idea around why? Some people, just like you said, they ask you why or they don't want to change.

I guess I can't answer for them, but I just think that you just get set in your ways. And as I said, like, that little voice inside, just a great example, you know. Now, I used to use an excuse to have a shit day at work just so I could come home and drink beer, I reckon. So I just, oh, that was a shit day, you know, as soon as I got home to the fridge. And then nowadays I don't even have a shit day anymore. I just think, this is great. You know, I walk out, I got me snacks I have in the car on the way home and I'm coming home to do exercise and I'm happy, like. So, yeah, I don't know, I'm not sure how it, how it ends up like that, but it just. Yeah, I guess things just bottle up and that just gets stuck in their.

Ways for yourself, mate. Like, you reaching out, taking those steps and making that commitment is unbelievable, you know, because you're right, people do get.

Set in their ways.

They get stuck and you taking those steps. There must have been some, you know, people talk about toughness or this sort of stuff, and the older generations might, you know, connect that with not crying or having muscles or, you know, beating your chest or getting in fights or something. For me, toughness is having the awareness to go, hey, you know what? I'm being a fucking pussy in life. Like, that's how I. That's the terminology I use for myself sometimes. I'm not saying you guys were. All the guys who don't reach out to me are. But how I see it is that victim mentality is a way of giving up and just settling for the current version of who you are, who get worse over time, mate. You rise up, you talk about having.

Your right snacks, your meal prep and.

That sort of stuff, which is just blossom the last couple of months. Whether it's consistent all the time or not, you actually developing and running with that is a huge feat in itself. Exercising like, it's. It was inspiring to see you and the other dads when we did Kosciuszko, which we'll dive into in a sec to look at these guys and go look at what they've done. I'm not doing your reps for you. I love the platform we've built together, but the credit's yours. And what are some of the biggest things or changes or greatest things that you've gotten so far out of RDM for yourself in your personal life?

I guess just setting those routines for one. So every day, getting up and doing my exercise in the mornings. Yeah, Meal prepping is huge. Like, before, I would just. I've always probably not eaten super unhealthy during the week, but it was always leftover meals. But it could have been anything, you know, so where now it's, you know, I do three days on Sunday and then Wednesday night or as we go during the week, we always make sure we got the meals to cover the rest of the week. And I cook another couple of breakfasts.

And.

As you said, it's just if it's there and it's in the fridge, then in the mornings, you know, probably quarter past five, I'm finished with our exercise. I can get straight to the fridge and get lunch. Packing breakfast in the microwave, it's cooking while I'm packing and making yogurt and berries and, you know, cutting everything up and it's done. It takes, you know, that 45 minutes. I've got not a lot of time and it goes very fast, but I can get everything that I need to get done in that time and in the car by six to go to work, so. And I'm set for the day, you know.

Yeah, that's awesome. When you talk about. I'm thinking of systems. Systems and even structure. I've got it on my wall there. Structure, which then has time, effective focus, performance, mindset, mental energy, accountability, support your relationships, results, sustainability, all of those. They're built around having that structure and routines, which is another word you could use. Has this helped with your attitude, with your children, with yourself, the thoughts that you have?

Yeah, it's even. And my wife also, like, the relationship we have now is tenfold on what it used to be. Not that it was bad, but, you know, we just. I guess we gel better now, you know, like, I'm at home here during the school year, you know, making dinners for them, so when they get home, everything's ready to go. And, you know, so she doesn't have to stress out about Doing stuff, you know, I'm helping clean the kitchen and do other jobs to help, you know, take some stress off her and I guess just sitting there talking about things instead of being asleep on the couch because, you know, you had a bad day, you had a few stubbies, you had dinner, you're falling asleep on the couch at 7:30, so you don't even have a life. Like, you know, and the kids are the same. Like, you know, we spend a lot more time doing stuff, whether it's, you know, watching a movie or being outside playing something or doing something, you know.

So, yeah, absolutely, mate.

And like you said, it might not.

Necessarily be bad, but if there's fathers listening to this and they mope or moan or they bitch or they talk about they're Mrs. Or they're not happy with certain things or they're not connected at a certain level, there's an area of ownership and pulling their heads in that needs to take place to go, you know what? I'm actually rewarding myself by you transforming.

Your own life, Matt.

What you're doing is you're paying yourself by having a better relationship because what you're doing for your wife comes back. What you're doing with your kids comes back. That letter, which is a very personal.

Letter, like I'm not going to read it here.

I've got it hung up at home and it's very humbling, mate, when we're at Kosciuszko for little loose to give me that, that letter and just, just seeing the effects it has on. On your kids, mate, you know, it was. Was pretty humbling to see.

Yeah, that's it.

How was Kosciuszko, mate? Catching up in person and, you know, coming together as a tribe, that.

That was really good, I think. I guess, you know, only being there for a short time to have that opportunity so quick was just great to catch up with all the guys, you know, it's just, I guess that the bond and the connection that you have with those guys you have met now is so much better than what it was before. You know, just having that time to sit there and talk to them one on one and get to know everyone. Yeah, it was amazing. Really was.

Do you think this is because I've cut up. I've got videos that we did an interview at Cossey and several other dads, obviously, and going to be rolling all of them out just to share the message and the story of rdm, the tribe, the environment. But it's interesting, there's a common theme.

When we Went through it all when I went through all of this as.

Well and putting the videos together of how amazing the tribe was together. But do you think we could have had that if we didn't have that level of connection, just 1% every day in what we do using technology and using our groups and coaching and whatnot?

Probably not, no. There would have been blokes that probably sat around and I would probably be a perfect example. Like if I went to a place like that cold and didn't know anyone, I would probably be that guy that would just sit back and absorb a lot, but probably wouldn't have had any input, you know, that's the type of guy I'd probably become over the years, you know, from. I was probably, you know, many years ago, probably quite a smart ass and pretty outgoing, I suppose. But just over the years became, yeah, just, I guess very reserved and just didn't say much, you know. So I guess, yeah, having that few months to interact with guys and yourselves definitely got me in a more comfortable zone to, you know, I was definitely nervous leaving here and flying down there, you know, to meet everyone. But yeah, I guess once, you know, once like Chris picked me up at the airport, once you'd actually seen him, it was. And all the other guys, it was like you'd known him for a long time and, you know, you'd done this before but. So that made it a lot easier.

Yeah, it's incredible, isn't it? You traveled. There was one fellow at North Queensland, Tone couldn't make it, unfortunately. But you traveled further than any other dad, which for me was humbling and a great sign of respect to me and to you really, to recognize that there were plenty of dads there I'd never met in person as well. And you're right, it's just like it just clicks. And I think the value in that, and this is the interesting part, and I love the terminology you use cold. The value in that is we've got this level of warmth and strength together because we are connected every single day. And yes, we might reach a little peak at the peak climbing Kosciuska, because we're there, we're in person.

And that's unreal as well.

But what gave that the footing to be possible was what we have here in my online coaching in rdm being an online platform, but not traditionally an online platform where that's it and we.

Just send some emails.

Not like we do videos like this, we do roundtables, we do our coaching sessions where there's lots of Feedback questions, check ins our own dream teams.

There's.

They'd have to be over a dozen touch points a week and some guys engage more to have several dozen. It's amazing to see that come to fruition with what's almost like a two day world.

Like right now I'm looking at you.

On the screen here in my office to see these men and like you said, just gel right away and game on. You can have an event where you run some great music and you talk some emotional things and you'll get a couple of tears. But for that entire tribe and for all of us there's to have some pretty solid, pretty deep emotional moments which obviously we're not going to release those to the public. That was a privilege we all had together. It was inspirational for me mate, to dive in deeper and go, you know what, there's a lot of hard stuff I'm going through at the moment with my third born and he's very young and just so many different things with that energy wise that it's totally worth it what we've created and what we continue to create.

That's right to have that, to have just to be able to be comfortable to, you know, to share what I guess myself and other guys shared over that experience. You couldn't do that. People wouldn't have shared that sort of stuff if you didn't have that connection. Hey, you know, it just, you know, I guess some of the things you shared there I wouldn't have shared with my wife six months ago, you know, like I wouldn't have showed my emotions and feelings because you just bottled it up inside and didn't say anything. But you know, I guess that's one another great thing about this, just, just saying what you need to say and get it out in the open, you know, it makes you feel so much better just to, just to express how you feel, you know, and not be judged for it. That's, you know, because people definitely judge you although the wrong people definitely judge you. So.

Yeah, it's very genuine to have that platform. Like what I shared about my father and brought a tear to my mate. Like this is something that I hadn't even shared with my wife. I told her about it afterwards and it was great to have that vulnerability but not be somewhere where we're just dumping or looking to be saved. Like it's a strong group of men that have that awareness with each other and that common ground or that respect with each other. It really is built off what we do every single day. But what are some, I guess, some key mindset takeaways that you've had so far with RDM and maybe with Kosciuska as well? Like, what are some key mindset things that you have in place now? Might be your routines, might be some other things that you didn't have before.

Yeah, definitely, like the routines, just, I guess, that structure. So you know that. But, like, I haven't got it written down, but I could basically write down my days from Monday to Friday, you know, I'm running in that. That pattern every day. My fitness power I haven't used for weeks now because I've just. I've got it to that point where I know. And I eat the same food nearly every week. I might change the meat around a little bit, but basically the same thing. It's just. And it's very easy to do that confidence. I've even, like, noticed in. And it's probably only been since Kosciusko and since you, like, you've asked me to do this and Adam asked me to do that testimonial a couple of days ago of going, like, feeling a little bit that, oh, geez, I don't know if I can do this. To saying to myself, you know, you can do this. Like, don't you do it as soon as you say you're going to do it. So, yeah, the confidence is becoming really, really strong, which is good to get that back, because I know I was lacking that for a long time, you.

Know.

And I guess not being able to control yourself. I still have bad days. And the kids drive you crazy when you're trying to do something, and. And that's the time when I do probably swear and I know I shouldn't, and that's something I'm trying. I have to work on. But it's such a small percentage of, like, a week now where that would have been probably a daily occurrence, you know, some time ago. So it's great to be able to, I guess, be awake enough inside to know that you just need to stop for a minute, breathe. And it's probably not as bad as you're making it out to be. You know, they are only kids, after all, and they really don't do that much wrong. But I think it just. Sometimes you just need a break. And as you said, like. And other guys have said, coming home with having the shits on after a bad day of work and coming in home, well, that used to do that all the time. I don't even. As I said, I don't even Think I have bad days anymore. Just from recognizing that I probably never did to start with. It was just me telling myself I did, you know. Yeah.

It's incredible to see those changes when.

You look at the physical energy.

What we do that.

Yes. Dads lose weight, they get in shape with us, and they get more energy and they eat well and all of that. It's all effective for them. We make it as structured as possible for them and their families. So they've got a high success rate. But the shift between the years you speak about, like, your habits or kicking to the curb, some of the badder ones or the ones that can trigger you. I've got that as well, mate. Certainly got that with the three at the moment, you can get triggered very easily, but you can check yourself before it becomes something that you later sort of throw your arms up in the air and go, what? I do that? Or you have that small portion of, I should have done this differently. But then all the way through to that confidence. Like this podcast. Like this has been an awesome podcast show so far, where you're sharing your stories, what you're doing, and you're right, mate. Like a lot of dads initially might feel a bit nervous or unsure of themselves or unsure of doing this, of how to be received. Almost every single dad has jumped on and done this. But then we've had fathers who reach out with stories, and they will like yours as well, Matt, that will connect and go, yeah, you know what? This. This really spoke to me out, which I know what that means for me, mate, because maybe people don't listen to the ones I know on my own.

I've listened on plenty of times. I listened to one with. I think it was Drew, Drew's first podcast. I reckon it's the third time I've listened to it, and I. And I actually heard something that I hadn't heard before the other day. So it just goes to show, when you're sitting in the car for that time listening to these, you're not always, I guess, 100% focus and actually listening to what people are saying. Even the one with Hawkeye, I listened to it the second time and heard things I didn't hear the first time because you must be just focusing on, I guess, driving and then listening and doing other things. So it's.

Yeah, yeah, it's something where there's several, mate, that I want to listen to again. I just don't like the sound of my own voice on computer, that's all. Always holds me back a bit. Plus, Anyone with Paul Garrett. He's got the baritone voice. It's like I've got a lump in my throat or something when I'm talking next to that bloke. Bloody hell. Yeah. It's very inspiring to see the stories and to have guys like yourself check share it, like that's. It's critical for, for RDM to really thrive because then it just doesn't come from me, Matt. It comes from any other dads. I mean, were there some good shares you got or takeaways that you got from some of the other dads opening up when we're in Cosby?

Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, to hear. I can't think of his name, Cowman.

He had about a million shares. Oh, yeah.

He's a crack up, that guy.

Yeah.

Can't think of his name.

The.

The gentleman that fell out of the tree. Well, Rick. Yeah. Like hearing his story was just. And. And the things he does, like. And as I said there that day, like, I didn't even know the guy, but seeing what he was doing there and I just thought, wow, this guy is. And he did inspire me, like to be so flexible and do that stuff. And I just go, oh, this guy must be a fitness freak, you know, to be able to do all these things and then. And then hear his story after that and realize why he's actually doing it, you know, and just. It really opened my eyes up to just, I guess and then understand that he doesn't have a choice. He actually has to do that. Otherwise he. He wouldn't be able to do what he's doing, you know, so. Yeah, and there's definitely other guys, I guess, but I guess I can't remember exact, exact specifics, you know, but yeah.

Yeah. And I rolled out. We've got a library we're building where we've got the entire event recorded, which will be awesome because just going through on my own, as I've been looking at all these videos, there are so many takeaways from. From you guys and Rick. Yeah. Like you mentioned, you're having multiple back operations. But he's. He looks fit and strong and healthy. He's 45. I didn't think he was 45 when I first met him because he was so fit and healthy. So he just looked. I just naturally assumed he was younger. And then we realized that we all have our own demons. Not just physically.

That's it.

But how it affects our life or what we've gone through or any challenge that we've gone through and, and whatnot but is there anything like we're coming up to the start of a new year? Is there something that you really want to see or change or conquer? I mean, there's going to be dads in 2021 who listen to this and 2021 is already here, but is there something in particular right here and now that you might have filled in in that last portion of our event and what you want to do coming into next year?

This is probably the hardest bit that I find is actually like writing down goals. I don't know why I struggle. I struggle to write things down, I think, but I guess I just. One massive thing is that when I get to that 12 month mark, I just want to make sure that I'm still doing the same things that I'm doing now, I guess just sticking to that routine, not dropping off, you know, or falling by the wayside at all, you know. So I've been very, very on track with everything so far. I have probably had a couple of weeks either side of Kosciusko where my, I guess, training exercise dropped off. But I think a bit of that was a fear of hurting myself. And then I guess after the event, like a lot of blokes were probably very sore after that because we'd done so much physical activity in those couple of days that it did take a little bit for that, for the muscles to recover and. Yeah, but yeah, I guess, you know, yeah, sticking to these routines, obviously it'd be nice to see the weight drop off to maybe where I want it to, but I'm not overly concerned on that. You know, I'm sure my body will change and I'll see muscle grow. And I guess the biggest thing is just keeping this confidence and just getting a better build that relationship just to make it as strong as it can be with my family, you know, that's a fairly important thing.

So, yeah, they're great points, great goals.

And you're right, goals like that are.

Probably hard to write down in specific words or in the sections that we have where can't just do it in a paragraph and you got to feel your way through it. Like relationship with your family, that's huge. That's everything, mate. When you're looking at what you're doing with your own life, how that has a ripple effect. Like I said, what your daughter wrote to me was just. It was humbling. You know, I welled up in my room. It was like, man, this is. It's unreal to see this ripple effect. And then also, like you said, Being consistent in what you do. If it's incrementally moving you forward and 1% every day getting your head, why would you want to change it? You know. You know in 12 months time that it's going to be another five or six or seven months in front again and the body will change. It's steadily changing now, which is awesome. And all of this leads into. How old are you at the moment, mate?

43.

Yeah, you know, like this, this leads into the best version that 44 year old Matt can be and then 45 year old Matt then you know, mate, we will blink and it will be 2030, just like the shirts, not the back of your shirt, your dead strong shirt. Even this year, how fast has it gone? Even with all the chaos? Yeah.

And speaking of my daughter, my wife is actually one of the girls she played softball with many years ago is involved in this course that they're doing here in Brisbane, early January and it's for. This is the first one they're ever going to do with girls from 11 to 17. And it's a three day course where they go and stay there for a couple of days. And it's kind of like what we're doing here I suppose it's teaching kids, you know, a little bit of fitness stuff and you know, a bit of life skills stuff. So we've had a talk to her about whether she wanted to go and she's really excited to go. So we're going to send her this course in January and and honestly I think it'll see her change a little bit and you know, help her develop going into high school next year. So you know, maybe that's something we never would have done. If I wasn't where I am right now, I probably would have said what a waste of time. Like why are we doing this? You know, so you know. But you can instantly see the benefits.

You know, it's incredible.

Yeah.

And you see that tenfold when they become adults. We talk in RDM about planting seeds and nourishing it and seeing it grow. Our children no different. We influence their environment. We control a lot of their environment very heavily and you know, it's something that to get her and back her in doing that. It's going to be life changing for her. It really will. We will have real kids movement one day mate. So don't worry. Tell her not to worry. We'll do our charge ups half an hour before the dads. But yeah, it's awesome to see that carryover effect which ultimately affects you Mate in your life because they're an important party in that.

Yeah, definitely does. Makes you very proud.

Yeah, like you said, mate, it's something you thought you might not have done before. And then you're here and these are the opportunities that we talk about that sometimes we can't even see until you actually start living through that certain perspective or that lens or that way of being. And I guess for us, mate, it's been awesome having you on, but is there any bit of advice and I mean, it doesn't have to be, hey, give Al a call. But any bit of advice to a dad who's obviously not part of rdm, who's probably feeling the same where he might be in ground on day or has more shit days of days or he's in a bit of a rut. Any advice or anything that you pass on to mate who might be listening?

I guess if you, yeah, if you're in that situation and you think you need to change, then you just got to do it. You just got to stop thinking about it and just. Yeah, whether it's RDM or something else, you just, if that's what you need to do, you just have to do it regardless of what other people might think or judge you or whatever. Just. Yeah, it's your decision, it's your life, you know, it's what's best for you. So, yeah, there's no, no better time than now because if you, if you, if you're in that spot, you've probably been in that spot for a long time, you know, it doesn't, you know, I probably was in that situation on and off for five years, you know, probably, probably longer. But I guess you just, you're set in that way of life. But yeah, five years on and off. I probably fought it and, you know, 10 weeks was the longest I ever did. Well, Now I'm at 20, so I've already doubled that and I can't ever see it changing. It's just, you know, yeah, RDM for life and you know, I, yeah, I don't, I don't ever want to change. I just want to, I guess, keep going forward and.

Yeah, yeah, appreciate the kind words, mate. And it's something where now you're 20 weeks in, you got a real understanding of what we do, you're right in the thick of it and you're integral part of the crew. I don't know, like, what do you think would have laid ahead for 53 year old Matt if you didn't do something.

Or I guess you could just. Just see that you'd be one of those statistics, you know, where maybe not in your 50s, but maybe by late 50s, you know, you're probably at that point where, you know, you'd be on medication all the time. Like at 40, I reckon, probably for the last five years, depending on what doctor I went to, they've been trying to push me on that cholesterol medication. And I kept saying no, you know, I said, I can do something about this. And I never did. But that's the problem. When you get to that point, you're on that much medication, you're a heart attack waiting to happen. You're like, you know, life would have never got any better, you know, And I guess I can see that with my dad now. You know, he's 78 and he's just had his first fall. You know, he's walking around with a bloody. With that. With the walker, you know, he's lost all his confidence to walk because he's scared he's gonna fall again. But. And I guess he's old school. Like, he worked hard all his life, but he never done anything. Once he retired. Like, they sat in the couch for six months over Covid and done nothing because they were so scared of dying that, like, you know, they just lost precious life. And now this has happened and setting back again. And I think it just opens your eyes up to say that I want to be in a better physical and condition, you know, and healthier condition than he is at 78, you know, so that I don't have those issues that he's having right now, you know?

Yeah. So I remember you touching on that when we were at Kosciusko, when you and me were having a bit of a yarn before we went up the mountain. And it's hard, mate. And it's hard when it's those that are closest to us, but it's really hard when it's ourselves and we know it, too. Like, you don't have to. You don't have to live in fear. People think they're afraid of dying. They're afraid of life because if they don't live life as high as they can when they're about to die, because we all. We're all going to die, mate. When they're about to die, they then get it and they see it and they realize with all the regret and everything, they're filled with remorse on what they could have done, that they didn't live life. And they're afraid to push or get uncomfortable, like you said. Or what other people would say or judgment or fear of their own level of expectations or ego, you know, I can't do it or she'll be right or I'm not good enough for this self value, self confidence and respect. It's all this bullshit that floats around in a lot of father's heads because they're so busy and chaotic in life. It's like, hey, hey, just slow down for a second, Stop. All we have in rdm, same for you, Matt, is your best interest at heart. I just want you to win, mate. I'm not your wife, I'm not your boss, not your son or your brother or your cousin. I just want you to win, man. That's all we want in rdm. And when you have that in your corner, a lot of the times we can blow through the bullshit and fluff in our own heads to go, hey, what am I waiting for? What am I so afraid of that I don't even realize I'm afraid, but I actually am when I stop and thing and it.

And I guess, yeah, that's right, like you, I guess for many years you're looking that there must be an easy way to lose weight. Like, you know, I'll go to the doctor and get drugs, duramine or something to lose weight. Like plenty of people have done it, but it doesn't. It's a quick fix, it's not going to last. But to actually look back now, you know, 20 weeks later and think having the support is huge, but it really wasn't. It really isn't that hard. You just have to change some very small things and you're already doing what you can to be better.

Hey, so it's amazing, isn't it, when you're not on your own, when you're on your own. Yeah, it can be. When you're not on your own, you've got the right tribe. It's never as hard as they think. It's actually harder if you don't because like you said, fuck, mate. 50s, late 50s, imagine how hard it will get then. 60s, imagine how hard it will be then physically and mentally and you're on your own even more. That's what's hard for me, mate. These small hard decisions are actually much easier for me across the grand scheme of my life. And the hardest decision, when that light bulb moment comes, I don't know any other way you'd want to put it.

And all those little sayings I tell my kids all the time, they'll be sick of it, but I always Say to him, like, do what's hard in life will be easy. And other sayings that we say, you know, and they're probably like, yes, dad, whatever, dad. Like, you know, but, you know, I can say now what's that saying? And they say it, you know, like they're so. It's amazing, all those little things.

Hey, you know that patterning. Yeah. I wouldn't call it program, but that patterning that you're building in making them think, look, I love dad jokes, mate, but there's probably a bit more depth in what you're saying there than the dad jokes we hurl around getting the kids thinking, my children. And it's not because I want some robotic philosopher in my daughter, but Stella, she's four now and I just start to embed just a couple of. They're just small, simple seeds of self confidence and reflecting and thinking and being present with themselves. And they should be miles ahead of me for me with my parents, which did a great job nonetheless. But it was believe in yourself and do whatever you think you can achieve and you will in your life. And it's like, okay, that's great. But yeah, when you're overweight or getting bullied or getting things, just have one thing to anchor back on. Can be hard when you don't value yourself. Instead of a series of things that your parents continually show you and show you through their actions as well, like what you're doing right now, mate.

And even if they don't understand what I'm saying until they're 20, one day they will understand all these little things that we're telling them. And when they do, it'll be worth it.

Hey.

So no matter how long it takes, whether it's five years or 10 years, that one day they will understand it and they'll gel with it, I suppose because they, they'll remember, my dad said that for last this many years, you.

Know, it will click 100% mate.

I agree and believe and have seen that.

But awesome having you on, mate.

Thanks for joining us.

Yeah, no worries.

Yeah, it's been great. Good bit of wisdom to pass on. Like it was unreal having some of your shares and a bit of your story and sharing that, especially at the start when we're talking about alcohol and just things that people do, sometimes they do without even recognizing it, without even reflecting on, hey, is this actually good for me? Like, am I enjoying this? This is just a habit or a behavior. But the biggest one is what you finish with them that don't wait. Like, don't do not wait. 2021 is around the corner. And a lot of dads will be listening to this in 2021, because we're 11 days away, which means you've got 6,000 hours left for that year. That's all we have, mate. 6083 hours every single year. Conscious, awake. How much of that is being spent, foggy, drifting, floating through space? Or through your own bullshit and stories and excuses that we all have? This is never a pointing the finger. This is an empathizing, like a sharing with you. We're all in the same boat, mate. And having the right tribe can help you get out of your own way. And having that will and desire to change and not wait, like you said, Matt, not wait. Don't fuck around. Get it done. Start changing your life. This is one of the greatest things anyone can ever do.

That's it. Because if. If you keep waiting and eventually, if you ever do eventually make the decision, then you'll have, I guess, regret that you didn't do it a long time ago. But. And there's nothing you can do about that.

But, yeah, very true, mate. Very true.

Hope you guys enjoyed this episode.

Real dad Movement, our podcast, probably the most popular thing that we have, I guess, with reaching fathers. Don't forget we've got Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, so you can watch this on YouTube. If you're listening to it now, if you ever need anything, let me know. But at the moment, for the next two months, so December and January, we've got Tribal the Power of Environment. We're giving that book away for free. It's going to show you exactly what Matt was talking about, which really is hard, isn't it, sometimes to communicate, mate. It feels like it's surface level, but the guys who aren't on the inside have no idea. But this will open up your eyes on how much your environment influences your life and what you actually do. But, yeah, thanks again for joining us, Matt. Loved having you on, mate.

No worries. Yeah, it's been good. Thanks, Al.

Yeah, look forward to listening to this one again. And I always get good shares out of what you guys have, but I definitely want to go through a lot of these podcasts again because there's just awesome little nuggets that you guys push out where I don't have to be thinking about what we're going through. I can just sit and be present with some of the wisdom that you guys pass around as well. It's unreal. Yeah. Thanks, mate. Thanks, guys. Take care. We'll see you soon.

Easy. Thanks, guys. Yeah, the dads.

Yeah, the dads.