81. Where Are You Going And Why?

Foreign. Podcast. I'm your host, obviously, the one and only Al. Unless there's someone else doing a real dad movement podcast. Here we are. Hope you've had a wonderful Christmas. And look, there are a lot of dads who wouldn't, you know this. This is the hardship and the ebb and flow of life where there comes times under social conditioning and constructs, we believe we should be having X, Y and Z, which creates expectations in life and it doesn't happen. So whilst it's a period of celebration, the thing with me and Christmas and the silly season, holidays, everything in between, it's the symbolism behind that that you create. And ultimately for me it's. It's a time to slow down. Although working and haven't stopped working between Christmas and years, but it's a time to slow down, be present, reflect over the year that's passed. Don't wait, don't wait until 31st of December with a belly full of piss and then look over the year and you know, cast heaps of points of judgment and victim type actions and then look at what you're going to do in 2021, which doesn't even last a week. Do it now. And saying that, look, a lot of you dads might listen to this episode in the new year, because here we are, Tom recording this. It's the 29th of December, so she's nearly done. Which is why the point of this episode is something that can run through at any stage of the year, but it's one that can ultimately carry through from December all the way through to February in the purpose of this episode being where are you going and why? What do you mean? Al? Well, there's no riddles here. What I'm talking about is your vision, your goals, your true north, what you want to achieve in your life, any way you want to break it down, any terminology you want to use. This episode is purely about getting a gauge on how to chart your true north. What does that look like? Like, where do I actually want to go, Al and why? We have a very unique specific method that we create inside of our diem, which I won't be sharing with you, but I'm going to be sharing some of the principles. Because obviously that' something that we do on the inside of the inner circle. But I will share the principles and purpose behind each and every step and stage that we have. But ultimately what we have in place is something that must be used from the get go. It is the first pillar of rdm, your vision, Declaration Goals. Where am I going, and why? Because the big thing in life, really, when we talk and we talk in RDM about a lot of facts, a lot of tangibles, so we can showcase results, change physical things, working with facts, working with data, this plays an important role as logical men. Breaking things down plays an important role. But the thing that drives this the most is and always will be feelings. Feelings bring a different level of purpose. Feelings are something that either influence and change your state, your perspective, or it's something that gets changed from your state and your perspective. So the real question is asking yourself, who's in control? Because a lot of the times we get triggered, right? A lot of the times we don't know what emotions and feelings we're holding. A lot of the times we don't know what states and perspectives we're holding. So when we break this down and we remain truly present within ourselves, we can then coordinate who the real you is, what the real you wants, and why. Which brings me to my first point. We need to know in RDM and out of rdm, those who aren't members listening to this, we need to know when you join rdm. But you need to know for yourself. We need to know so we can coordinate together and be a team and move forward and build out your primal power, your roadmap. So everything we do is spearheading towards that goal, those goals that you want to achieve. That's a given for me, yes. It's more work, time, money, effort on our end with rdm. And it's harder, but it's worth it because for me, we win. We are the gold standard for fathers. We don't cut any corners. This is about making sure we know exactly where you want to go and why and charting that course. Everyone in this. And look, I'm no miracle worker, although we've created some amazing results, but everyone in the industry should do this. If they're not, they're fucking lazy and they don't deserve your service or your business. When we're looking at your goals, though, let's work on this for you. You need to know where you're going. Okay, well, how do I understand where I'm going? Well, I start to collect a series of feelings that I want in my life. In family, self and service, the three areas that make up your life. This is called the circles of significance. Inside of rdm. That's another RDM principle, which is why we dive into this. Because all of those make you as a man, as a being in your life, you got to be cautious Whilst you might lean on some sometimes and pull away from some at other times, you need all three in your life to be successful. So when we're looking at this, what we're looking at is family, self. Service. What are the feelings that you want to have in 2021? When it comes to your family, how do you want to feel about them? Your relationships with your wife, your connection with your wife, connection with your children, how you engage with them, the experiences that you have with them. What are the feelings that you want to have in that area of your life and why is that important to you? Service. What are the feelings you want to have? You run your own business, you're an employee. What are the feelings that you want to have with your workplace? How are turning up? How do you want to turn up? What are some. Some performances that you want to initiate and really get on top of in 2021 and crush. Like, you shouldn't be going to work in a mundane way just to fucking pass time like that. That is a waste of life, man. Any job, any industry, if you dominate and you excel at the highest level, you will find a level of interest, a level of significance and meaning and purpose behind that because you're getting results. Anything like, I mean, RDM is something that found me and chose me and this is the channel that I'm working my life and my energy through. And I love it. It's awesome. Doesn't mean it's easy though. There are so many hard times. But it never means that I want to give up because I'm performing with this at the highest level, which means there's always something that's engaging me. Please understand this. Boredom, worry, drama, bullshit, gossip, all those sorts of different things come about because you're not investing your time properly, which leads the mind to wander and you're not controlling your. We need to get clear on the feelings that you want to have in what you give in value, we call it service. Value to the world, value to your community, value to the people that you work with or that you work for and self. This is the big circle. Like what are the feelings you want to have about yourself? Do you want to be able to look that man in the mirror and go, yes, I am proud of who I am today? Yes. The last 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 5 years have been a bit of a blur. It's very chaotic. I get that man. Like three kids under five. It's just chaos. I saw some pictures of me a long time ago now, back in high school with my Wife because we've been together since high school. I looked at her, I was like, man, I can't believe how much we look like kids. And it brought back a flood of memories. I was just like, fuck. It was actually a bit sad. Not that I have any regrets, but just sad how fast it went. And the reason why I say sad isn't because I'm in pain or it's a bad thing. It's a level of sadness to go, wow, maybe I could have utilized that time a little bit more. But at the same time, I couldn't because that's the perspective and mindset and person I was at that stage. And sadness probably isn't the word. It's just a surreal feeling and just an emotion. Like, I'm not sad about it, but just an emotion to go. Far out, man. That stage of my life is gone. Just like Stella, she's four years old now. And it's like, man, I'm seeing memories pop up when she was a baby. That stage of my life is gone. And having unknowns, when we pass into the next life, or whatever waits for us, having unknowns will bring about a natural feeling of not sorrow, not sadness, but natural feeling of, wow, my life is passing by. My life is going very quickly. Which is why, and I can't stress it enough, man, like, we have fuck all time on this earth. Don't waste it. You really do. You have zero time. So when it comes to yourself looking and evaluating the year that's past, the five years has passed, the 10 years has passed, and knowing that, hey, you know what? I'm not alone here. Everyone goes through chaotic periods. We all have chaos in our life. It's something that's natural and it's something that really can be a hindrance. If we're not growing, it can affect us in a negative light. When we look at this chaos and look at the crazy shit that's happened not just in 2020, but in 2019, in 2017, in 2014, because this is what happens, mate. Like, you blink if you don't know where you're going, you're not charting the course to get there. You'll blink and then all of a sudden need a bloody haircut. Hair keeps getting in my face. All of a sudden you'll blink and there goes half of your life. It's crazy, right? Think about it. Some of our principles. You got a thousand minutes a day inside of RDM. Thousand minutes a day. You sleep for roughly seven, seven hours and 20 minutes. That gives you exactly 1,000 minutes a day. Which means when we break all that down, you've got 365,000 minutes a year. You break that down, you've got six. Roughly. When we break all that down in the hours, you've got, I think 6083 hours. That's all you have. That's pretty crazy, isn't it? 6,000 hours every year, that's all you have. Another year, another year, another year. That's 2030. We need new shirts at that stage. 2030 to 2040, the new decade of dads. So we need to know where we're going. But ultimately, and this is the. This is the catch when you're looking at it, the journey and the type of journey is the destination. But to have some sort of definitive destination as men, using our primal power and our ancestry that's built into us, to have a logical A to B, we must complete. This is something we must conquer overall, get on top of, move forward with achievements, bring meaning about. It gives us that drive in the now to know that we're working towards something. What are we working towards? We're not just drifting, we're not just floating. We don't have a life full of fog. A lot of you would have had that and probably still do at some stage of the day, of the week, of the month, or in your life. Right now, in all areas, there's just a fog, there's a fogginess. So there's no clarity, there's no focus. I don't know where I'm going out. Like, I'm putting food on the table. I'm doing this, I'm doing that. But I actually don't even know who I am or who I want to be. This is why the circle of self is the most powerful and most important. Because that influences service and family the most. Big time. It's you, it's your life. Break down the feelings. What are the feelings I want to have in these areas of my life and why? Awesome. What are the facts? What are the facts about this? So what? What must I achieve now for these feelings to be true? So what are the facts I need to achieve in self? Well, I need to train three days a week. I need to get my nutrition dialed in. The hardest time is lunch. So I just need to get lunch. Hammering lunch five times a week, that's all I need to do. Al I know, my breakfast is sorted, my dinner's sorted. I just need to get my lunches and make them really, really good for the month of January, February, March, 90 days. Awesome. First quarter of the year. Great. I'll start with that. I'll start with a quarter. 90 days, I'll pull that back and go. 30 days, I'll pull that back AND go one week. I just need one week out where I get five lunches, meal prep or better food choices. And I need to move my body three times a week. I'm going to do a home session, I'm going to join a gym. I'm going to walk twice and train once. Whatever it may be, there must be tangibles that dial in and connect with the feelings you want to have in your life. I want to be in shape, Al. I want to have more energy. I want to feel better about myself. I want to look at that man in the mirror and go, yeah, you know what? I'm having a good crack at life. Like, life's fucking hard, man. And sometimes my back's against the wall. I'm going to push off that wall and move forward. I'm going to start moving forward again. And now when I feel like my back's against the wall, great. Because there's nowhere further to go. I'm not going to go back anymore because I'm against the wall. Beautiful. No more retreating, no more pulling back. Let's move forward and do it. But do it with facts. Do it with tangible things that are going to drive the feelings. I know that if I trim 8 kilos or 12 kilos, I'm 115. Back when I was 103 in 2014, I had a lot of energy out. I was moving around. I just had my kids. It was great. Everything's moving forward. Awesome. You know what it feels like to have that physiology? How do we get that physiology? Create some tangibles, create some facts. Well, if I train three days a week, Al, and I nail my lunches, I know that's going to put me in the best position possible. Now, this is a very broad and a very simple same time example. But these are the facts that must be true. They're targets, their actions. The facts that must be true are not always outcome driven. That's a lag indicator. Like when you have a factual outcome. That's after the fact, right? That's after the action's been taken. Okay, cool. Well, let's simplify it so we know what direction we're going in. What are the actions I need to take for that fact to be true? See, this is where people get caught up on themselves. They think about the outcomes, outcomes, outcomes. What do you want to do this week? I want to lose three kilos. Okay, wow. You only lose three kilos in one week. Okay, cool. Well, that's a lag indicator. That's an outcome. What are the actions that must be necessary to lead that outcome? Well, Al, I've got a pretty shit routine and I know I can lose 30 kilos, so the weight's definitely there to be lost. What are you doing? Well, okay, in terms of inflammatory markers and fluid. Cut your dairy, cut your bread for a week, dial in, pull the carbs back a little bit. Unless you start exercising, go for five walks and get moving. Have plenty of water. Let's rebuild your thyroid and hormonal health, get your metabolism firing again so you're not a fucking bear hibernating in a cave with a low heart rate, a low body temperature, burning fuck all calories. Let's get you more food. Let's get that firing, let's get that furnace rolling and let's move forward. These are the targets. These are the actions we put in place from which the inevitable change becomes the outcome. And then the outcome reinforces the feelings. Can you guys see where I'm going with this? I hope you're getting a bit of an understanding whether you're listening to this or watching this. I'm not doing any drawings or any of that sort of stuff. Any visual things on the video, if you're watching on YouTube, if you're listening on the podcast channels. But what I'm talking about is getting some facts in place. And the facts must be action driven to lead to the outcome. What are the feelings I want to have in my life? Awesome. What are the facts that must be true? And that was one example with self. You could have many with your family. What are the facts that must be true to have those feelings? Well, I want to feel more connected with my wife, with my kids. Great. Awesome. What are the targets? What are you going to do this week? Well, this week, you know what, on Tuesday and Thursday, I know they're tough days for my wife with the kids or with A, B and C. So I'm going to do X, Y and Z. I'm going to clean up the house. I'm actually going to organize dinners those nights or I'll cook dinner on Thursday night. I'm going to take the kids out Tuesday afternoon to give the wife a bit of a break. And you know what? I'm actually going to send her some messages and give her some affection out. Because sometimes I just get caught in this pattern, this vicious cycle that I don't feel like I'm getting love from her, but maybe I'm not giving her love as well. Maybe it's a two way street and women being women, men being men, we're never going to get back what we invest. That's the truth. With every area of life you output one, you don't get one back, man. I'm telling you, this is how it works. You need to 4, 5, 10x your efforts just to get 2, 3 times return crazy. But the sooner you get that bullshit and that expectation out of your head, the better you will flourish as a leader. Women want to be led. They want to be led. This isn't taking away from females power and their leadership in their own ways, but they want to be led. Which means guess what, they are testing you. You are being tested. There are times when you must stand up and even though you may not get the outcome of the result, you are initiating the energy, the level, the frequency of connection with your wife and with your relationship. Hard, isn't it? We get stubborn, we get proud. I'm the same man, don't worry about that. Three kids under five gets hard to connect with the Mrs. At times you get stubborn. You're like, well, fuck, I'm doing all this, this and this, but I'm not getting it back. Why? This is an expectation. You need to remove and build in targets, building facts that you can move and put in place to help support your relationships, support your children, support what you want out of family, to develop those feelings and have those feelings be true. Awesome. So these are the feelings I want. These are the targets and actions I must put in place for those feelings to be true. Great. Takes us to the next point. All right, well, we're going to hit some challenges. What are the challenges we're going to face? Okay, these are the perceived challenges, some that might be unknown and literally listing and dialing in all these things. Well, these are the challenges out. The challenge when it comes to my nutrition is I travel for work. I'm not going to have access to a good places for lunch all the time. The challenge with the missus is, well, you know what, she's bitter and grumpy sometimes and she's tired, I get that. But it just turns me off making that effort and taking that initiative and awesome. This is you getting out of your own way. Where are all the challenges? Let's list them. Let's see what's real, what isn't and let's remove those challenges and have commitments on top of those to remove them. What are the feelings you want to have in your life? Awesome. What are the facts that need to be true to have those feelings? Great. What are these challenges? I know I'm going to hit some. Some brick walls. I'm going to hit some walls and they're going to stand in my way and they're going to try and stop me from hitting these targets and getting these feelings. What do they look like? Don't just bury your head in your sand or sweep shit under a rug and think you're in fucking fairyland singing Kumbaya with a circle around a burning fire. There's going to be some real challenges and adversities that you face and that are in the way of your targets. A lot of the times it can be you, a lot of the times, and your perceptions, how you choose to see things. And a lot of the times it isn't. It is literally your environment, people, places and things that stand in your way. And I get that. And you can't control them. You can influence them, and you can certainly influence and control your behavior towards them. But having that awareness is the first step to overcoming it. Which is why news resolutions are bullshit. Because more often than not, they're done alone. They're done on the whim of emotions only. They don't have facts and feelings. They're not clear on the challenges they'll face, which means they don't understand or make that bond with themselves on the commitments to overcome those challenges. So they're left pissing in the wind, falling apart, breaking down, overwhelmed. And by the end of January, 92% of people have already failed. These are real stats, by the way, as well. You can look them up. 92% of people fail in the first four weeks. Crazy, right? And probably almost 100% fail in the next four weeks. Very challenging. Not easy, but the best process to do. What are the feelings? Awesome. Well, what are some targets? What are the facts that must be true to get these feelings? Great. I've got that squared away. All right. Well, obviously it's not going to be a walk in the park, is it, Al? So what are the challenges I've faced in the past? Cool, let's get clear on that. Use the past. It's reflection. It's learning what's happened in the past. Okay. How can I alleviate that? Either through my own bullshit and stories or through that around me, which I can influence and be a leader in front of the right way. Family, children, work, anything else? Friends, alcohol, drugs, Anything outside of you. Cool. Well, now I'm clear on those roadblocks. What are the commitments I'm making to get on top of those? Like, how am I committed to moving forward with this? Like, what are the actions I'm going to take to overcome those challenges, to then take the right actions and hit those targets, to lead to the right outcomes, to have the feelings that I want and desire in my life. Feelings drive us. Beautiful. Is this a goal worth chasing? Final point, when we're looking at this again, this is. This is a much more intrinsic and personalized format that we have inside of rdm. This is the privilege the dads have on the inner circle. I'm painting a bit of a picture for you guys who aren't members. But this is the step by step process, like I said, dialed in much more specifically. But this is what we need to organize feelings. Awesome. Well, what do I need to do? What are the targets? Great. What are the challenges I'm going to face there? Okay, well, how am I going to get on top of those? All right. Am I actually heading in the right direction? Is this a goal worth chasing? When you ask yourself that question all of a sudden, you then begin to ponder and question why it is that you're actually getting after that goal. I just want to lose 10 kilos and get in shape and get fit out. Awesome. Why? Why is that important to you? You know, oh, I'd just be good to be in shame, take my shirt off at the beach. Cool. Why is that important to you? How does it make you feel when you can do that? All right, cool. So how are you currently feeling? See, this is the thing. When you probe or audit yourself or if I did that for you, to you, with you, all of a sudden you find that what generally is lacking is growth, which comes down to a level of self value and belief. The end. Which means it's very hard. Because what that then tells us is most of the world doesn't value themselves. A majority of the world don't believe or love themselves or value themselves. This is the truth. Very hard social media will tell otherwise. And people's facades and their personalities and what they portray and the words they speak and how they carry themselves may indicate a different story, but it's the truth. So many people settle in life. Why? Because they don't value themselves at a higher level to express more energy on top of the resistance that they face. It's very, very simple. Like, it's not. I know. And there's been a monstrous amount of hardships. You have no idea. And I have no idea about yours. Like, we all have lists. I get that. I'm not saying I'm special or different or my life is worse. But people have no idea the hardships I've gone through in the last 15 years. My body injuries, operations, business, family relationships, even RDM to a massive degree. But I know if I keep turning up, keep growing and changing and leveling up the version of who I am, I cannot fail. It's impossible. It is mathematically and universally impossible for me to fail long term. Yes, I've had failures. Yes, I've had losses. We call them learning or learnings. As Drew, our mindset coach, created that word. You know, we build from that. But in terms of a lifetime of failure or over the whole of your life, over the span of your life, as a failure, not possible. Impossible. Do I have regrets? No. Do I have things I wish I did better? Yes. But I can't regret it because I'm a better version of who I am. So how can I regret? It doesn't make sense. It's not possible because it's forged me into who I am. The only way you can have that at the greatest way possible, with the greatest depth of who you are, meaning and purpose inside yourself, physically, mentally, spiritually, or, you know, your willpower, your spirit, you're fighting nature to live life to the best is by growing. It's by evolving, expanding who you are. You do that, mate. I promise you, you will not have regrets. Yes, there's probably things you wish you could have done better, and maybe right now you regret it. But if you level up who you are and draw lessons in that, lessons from that, learning from that, you will not have regret because it's turned you and helped you move into a better person, a better human and a better man and father. Is this a goal worth chasing? Is this moving me forward in my life? Yes. No. Why? Why not? When you get clear on that, you then realize that, hey, this is worth investing my energy in. This is worth fighting for. This is going to be why it makes sense when so many other times and so many other ways, with all the other bullshit around the world knocking you down, throwing adversities your way and challenging you, tells you that it doesn't make sense. This is why it'll make sense. This, this can be your rod and staff. The belief behind the feelings you want to have in your life, and the belief behind the drive and purpose and meaning of what it is that you desire and why that is important to you. That is the most powerful connection between A to B, you can ever have, which means the goalposts move. It's a moving target, because not if we. When you achieve those goals, feelings, facts, overcoming the challenges, putting in place commitments to overcome those challenges, having the outcome of this being a goal worth chasing, which levels you up as a human being in your life, for yourself, for your family, you've just reached a new baseline. You have just hit a new baseline of a version of who you are. Which means, guess what, Your belief system rises, your value rises, which means you then build the confidence to get out there and go again, take more action again, build the feelings, build the drivers, build the targets, which then reinforces your competence. I can do it more. Perfect example. And look, it's a great podcast, don't get me wrong, it really is. But go back to the very first episode of the podcast I did, which I launched, I think, in May. I think it's been about a year and a half. I've been doing the podcast for. We're about 80, 81 episodes in, probably. I think this is episode 81. Go back to my first podcast and have a look at the version of who Al is. Yes, I've got value. Yes, I'm talking mindset. Yes, I'm sharing my story, my injuries, my challenges, all these different things. But in 18 months, how much I've changed is worlds apart, which, you know, sometimes it reflects in results, sometimes it doesn't. But that doesn't mean that I'm just a life coach here to make people feel like they've leveled up and evolved. I need facts as well. You know, I need to make sure there's tangible things in place. But this has leveled me up in a massive way in my resilience, having three kids under five now, my ability to overcome adversities, whether it's people, you know, abusing me on my Facebook ads, whether it's the challenges of dads on the inner circle to help them level up and keep them moving forward. Whether it's building and expanding the coaching team inside of rdm, which has been incredible this year, but being a true leader for them and serving them so they can serve rdm, whether it's maintaining a good connection with my wife because it's hard now we have three kids under five, and she's trying to get her body back and repair herself. Yet I'm a man with primal needs, like we all are, so we want that level of connection. And I'm not just talking about dirty stuff. I'm talking about literally feeling desired and wanted and Valued in the household. Like these are common patterns for all of us. Just because I'm some leader and some mindset fucking wizard who leads a group of men all over the country doesn't mean that I don't have these feelings as well. I'm not someone kicking back in some sort of pimp suit, just talking shop that I'm invincible. We all have these hardships. So if you go back and watch the first episode or listen to the first episode, you'll see a monstrous amount of change. But it seems so subtle and small at the time. And this is what I want to close out on. Don't be disheartened by that. Tick those boxes get the dashes up, there's five. 1, 2, 3, 4, bang. There's another five. 1, 2, 3,. There's another five. Count your victories, man, no matter how small they are. Like you're willing to wrap yourself in a bad way and, you know, give yourself a slap on the wrist when you don't turn up or you hit the snooze button. You don't get that training session in or eat that shit food or you have those cakes and treats or chocolate or you have that alcohol. Yeah, you're willing to give yourself some shit for that and hard time for that. Make sure you give yourself a pat on the back for the good things you do. Because these micro wins are what will lead to the big result, the long game. We win the long game. Why we break it and chunk it down so much to become a series of small games which keeps our level of focus and attention, our level of action, our level of stimulus and being motivated to keep that state to go, yes, I can do it, I can do it. It's just there, it's just there. It's just there to get up, get after it, win, give yourself those pats on the back, man. 2020 has been a fucking hard year for a lot of people. One of the best years of my life, but one of the hardest as well. It's very interesting how that works. Make sure you accumulate these small victories. They will become the domino effect in your life in sequential order. You will move up, you'll move up, you'll move up, you'll evolve, you'll keep moving forward. But you can't do it if you don't know where you're going. If I have a goal to have an RDM ranch in every single state in the country and turn RDM global, regardless of what I face and the adversities I face, worst case Scenario with the amount of effort, energy and love that I put into this movement, into this empire, the worst case scenario is we will end up with one. We'll end up with one. RDM Ranch Run phenomenal events there, get fathers and families off the grid and just have an amazing connection for people to just be present and experience life. What an amazing outcome from a little boy who wanted to be an elite athlete, had his dreams completely fucking shattered and destroyed and his body torn to pieces. To someone who was just going to own a gym forever and just run a gym of 100 people. So now having these huge goals, what's changed? This is what's changed. The level of belief and the value of myself, which continues to change and level up, but is backed by targets and actions on the feelings I want to have in my life. Overcoming the roadblocks I will face and making sure this is a goal worth changing, that will evolve me, level up my life and build a higher level of energy inside and out with myself and with those I serve and with my family. Fuck. Why not? Why not have a crack? And I say this in a positive light. You don't know what's possible. You don't know what you can do. So why would you write yourself off early? You have no right to do that. No one does. Which is what I tell these fathers. They see me in such a great light as their leader inside of rdm. And I say to them, I see you for who you can become. So who the fuck are you to write yourself off? If you see and value my word at the highest level and my. My word and my value of you is the highest level, why are you self sabotaging? Don't you dare. You have no right. But it's hard when you go through life drifting, floating with a sea full of fog and you feel like your efforts are just pissing in the wind and nothing's happening, you need to know where you're going and why don't wait, do it now. If you listen to this podcast, take your time. You're listening in the car. Awesome. Watching the video. Great. Sit down and ride it out. What are the feelings I want to have in my life? Cool. What do I need to do to get those? And be resourceful. Don't just think in a singular plane. Open up. What do I need to do? What are some different things I can do? Do I need someone else? Do I need coaching? Do I need the right tribe like you? Come in. I dm. You can't lose. We won't let you fail if you don't want to. That second part's important, too. We're not here to save dads, but we'll move mountains for you. Which means you need to have something outside of yourself to help drive that inspiration when you don't feel like doing it for yourself, very hard. So that's just my caution for you. That doesn't mean you need to call me right now and sign up to rdm, but what it means is you need to make sure you have the right environment in your corner to be successful in 2021. That's a given. Don't forget, too, that tribal power of environment, that book, audiobook, the entire membership course for that is free. December and 2021. Alexealdaymovement.com hit me up. Message me, contact us, that's yours. That will help you understand the value of having the right environment in your corner. Get clear on that. All right, well, what are the targets I need to put in place? All right, what are the challenges? What have I faced before? List them. Be honest. Be truthful. Get a bit of paper. Write it down. Look at it, read it, see it. 4, 5, 6, 7 touch points. Visualize it. What have I done in the past that's fucked me up? Make sure you're crystal clear on that. Own your truth. The truth always wins, man, whether you like it or not. Own your fucking truth. Okay, cool. Well, actually, now I've written it there, it's there in plain sight. What can I do to overcome those. What can I do to overcome those challenges, to then get the targets that I want, to get the feelings that I want my life to live, A life of meaning and purpose and fulfillment. Then you start jotting it down. It doesn't look that bad. You start to break down. It's like this is actually achievable now. I can do this. I just got to chunk it down bit by bit. You can put a timeframe in there with the last part. Is this a goal worth chasing? And why and when do I want to achieve this? Yeah. Is it. Is it two months, three months, one month? Is it one week? I just need to win for a week out, and I know that'll move me forward again. Make no mistake, though, the hardest part isn't the start. The hardest part's 30% in. Always. Always 30%. 30% means you've exhausted some energy. You've got a level of resistance. You're building in something new, which is unfamiliar. So the resistance is still there. Sometimes it rises. You've used up the juice at the start and the initial excitement. So that's gone. But you're the furthest possible point from the finish line and you're not halfway yet. When you're halfway, it's like it's all downhill, Al. I got this 30%. It's the hardest position to be in. The hardest part is not the start. Anyone can start fucking anything. The hardest part is 30% in your journey. What does that look like? I don't know. I don't know what 30% looks like to you. It could be 10 kilos. I've lost three kilos. I'm not sure. It could be a hundred day challenge. I'm 30 days in. This is hard, Al. I've got 70 days left. That's right. Always anything, whether it's CrossFit, whether it's competing, whether it's footy, everything. It's always been around that 30, 40% mark. You know, I've got 10 sets of 10 back squats, 10 push ups, 10 burpees. All right, no worries. When I'm three to four sets in, I'm like, shit, man, I've got so much left and I'm tired. When I'm six to seven sets in, it's hard. It is harder, but mentally it's easier. Nearly there, Al. Just keep going with footy. You know, when you're looking at the first half, not too bad. When you get about 25 minutes in, you get into a bit of a groove. But then when you're in the second half, it's almost like you're starting again. It's like I'm so close to the end, but this is hard. I'm more fatigued, but I'm nearly at the end. It's always harder when you start to build something in that is foreign to you. But break it all down. And why is this a goal worth chasing? How does this improve my life? How does this actually equal. Through overcoming the challenges, through getting those targets in place and the facts in place to get those feelings. How's this moving me forward in my life? You've only got one. Don't waste your turn. Hope you've enjoyed this episode and taking some. Some value out of it. If you do get time, sit down. You don't need to listen to this again. Although listening to a lot of the podcasts two, three, four times, a lot of dads do that. They contact me, let me know. That really helps them. They pick up different. Different bits of wisdom, different nuggets, so to speak. Where it does help them and give them the cue they need at that time because their mind is clear. So try and listen to this where there's no chaos. Try and listen to this when you're present, completely present, relaxed, in a calm state, get out a pen and paper and go. What are the feelings I want to have in my life with myself, my family, of service? Cool. What are the facts that must be true? What are the challenges that I need to overcome? Why am I chasing this goal? Very simple. Hope this helps and adds some value to your life again. Don't wait till February or March to do this at any stage. When you listen to this, though, you can. There'll be dads who go through and they listen to this podcast and they get into our ecosystem, so to speak. And listen to this in June. Awesome, mate. You've got six months. What do we need to do second half of the year 2021? There'll be dads who are listening this in 2022. Great, mate. Welcome. 2022, January. What do we need to do? This holds value over your lifetime. What I've done now is timeless. It doesn't age. It is the same fundamentals and principles that lead to your success, that give you meaning and purpose to take action and express the energy that you need to in your life to move away from regret and move towards glory, greatness, legacy, the end. Take care. Have an amazing day, night, weekend, New Year's celebration. Although it doesn't really exist for me. I go to bed early, I wake up in January 1st. I fucking dominate the day. No alcohol, nothing bad, good night's sleep, as long as the kids sleep and I'm ready to rock and roll. That's just me. I use the social constructs of what people should be doing, including the calendar year, to my advantage. I manipulate the days around. For me, Sunday and Monday are my best days of the week yet. Funnily enough, they're the worst days for most people. Because it doesn't exist in my head the way that it should or the way it is perceived that it should in others. Be your own man. Be your own king of your castle here in how you choose and how you perceive things to be. Including New Year's, including your New Year's goals, including the structure you must create with the environment to support that, to move forward and truly fucking win, man. Truly win in 2021. Take care and I'll see you soon for another episode. Cheers.