89. Dave's Flying High

Salt and Shop with Dave O. And here we are, Dave Weir. Mate, welcome to the show.

Thank you, mate. It's good to be here.

It's great to have you here. Dave's been with us for over 12 months now. Member for life and an incredible asset to rdm.

Why?

Because he brings a different standard and that standard includes planning the work and working the plan. We've always got shit going on, don't we, mate? There's always something.

That's life.

It's life.

Yeah.

But the reality is, what Dave sets in terms of structure, plans, schedules and habits is something that blew me away at the start, to be fair. Mate, you know, it's something where people will look at my life and they'll see that ours are high performer. Yes. But there's a lot of chaos. There is and there still is in my life. Three kids under five, not getting much sleep. Tracking my sleep now. And, you know, I'm jealous of the testimonial you gave with Knight Rider, because I'm like, I need to get to that stage and I'll feel amazing. Two nights ago, I felt awesome and I wasn't tracking my sleep. I was like, what's the difference? I'm getting up at 4am this morning. I woke up Ginger, still trained. It was hard, but I wanted to bring Dave on today. Guys, Those watching on YouTube or listening on itunes or Spotify or one of our other platforms. Dave's an incredible man. He's created some big changes. And it's not about a figure per se, but it's also not about feelings, it's about performance. And life is performance. And what we're developing and building and continually evolving is high performance. Fathers. And I guess to introduce yourself, Dave, I'd love for you to share a bit of your past, your background, your history, where you've come from. And obviously we can dive into the journey and the ins and outs and the intricacies of what's created the change for you and how you continue to level up year after year.

Now, yeah, yeah, sure. I'll give the most abbreviated version I can because I've had quite an amazing life in many aspects. But I grew up in the country, country, rural New South Wales, on a farm. Like a lot of farm kids, you spend most of your time outside knocking around with animals. And, you know, that was my youth right through to, I guess at about the age of 10, I got a scholarship to a boarding school in Sydney and that was sort of a nominal scholarship for horse riding. I was newspaper fodder. For the school newspaper to show that they were more than just academic and sports oriented along with a couple of other kids were in there for various reasons. That school, school life was a big foundation for me in terms of terms of growth and who I am today. It's a bit of a double sided coin in the sense that in boarding school you learn to get a thick skin fast and you become fiercely independent because there's no mum and dad to go back to when there's a problem. There's no one to run to when there's a problem. So you solve your own problems. And that's done me wonders in later life in terms of being able to. To tackle things and tackle hurdles and barriers that might get in my way and, and tackle them with. With a lot of resolve. But it also. You get to learn as you get older too that you can't do everything on your own. And. And that's the other side of the coin. That's something that I've had to. To work on a lot and through RDM as well. Relying on coaches to guide me as opposed to trying to solve things on my own. I had a career kicked off in marketing for Woolies and coming from the country didn't like sitting behind a desk very much so ended up looking for a marketing gig outside of that that gave me a bit more freedom to move and flexibility. I ended up looking after Goodyear blimps that took me all around the world. I lived in the US and Europe and Asia for a number of years covering major sporting events and as a young fellow that was a bit of a dream come true. Someone that had always been a big sportsman, had quite a good career in rugby at a reasonably high level and enjoyed that as well. So that's led me to getting into business on my own and have been in business on my own for about 15 years now. And it's got me to where I am today, which is great and which is also bad as well. Two sided coin. I've achieved a lot in life. I would definitely consider myself a high performer. But high performance if you're not careful means that you end up having to make sacrifices to continue that performance. And that's where I found myself cutting corners to try and continue that high performance. As I wasn't looking after myself, I didn't consider investing in myself worthwhile if it took away from what I considered performance. And that was a bit of a messed up approach that I had. And I came to RDM because I was burnt out and I burnt myself out from trying to continually perform at a really high level in business. And when I couldn't maintain that, I had to find the time from somewhere else to take to continue that performance. So I'd steal time from maybe time with my wife for time with my kids, or time from other areas of my life to continue that performance. It led to a really horrific sleeping plan. I was lucky if I was to get four hours a night to continue performing what I thought needed to be done to deliver at that high level. And it burnt me out. It burnt me out. It, you know, put at risk my own personal health, my marriage, my relationship with my kids and my friends and other aspects of my life that I could see were crumbling, but I didn't know how to resolve it. And the more I dug in and tried to fix it by performing higher at work, the more I ate away at all the other aspects of my life. And that's where and where and why I came to rdm. I realized that I, I thought I knew what I needed to be. I just didn't know how to get there. And no matter what I tried, it wasn't working. So I knew I needed outside help. Here you are.

It's fascinating. Great, great intro. And I didn't know that about the Goodyear blimp and the travels and yeah, the boarding school. A lot of things that would have hardened you and opened your eyes at the same time. A lot of different experiences. But that's fascinating when you talk about burnout and what you went through. The 14 and 16 hour days of my life are gone. I'm not doing that ever again with work. And this might sound funny, especially to some of you fathers who may think or feel like you're successful in certain areas of your life. Well, that's great, but at what cost? And then this is the thing you don't need to be. The whole hustle and grind and the message that gets pushed. And I see it a lot when I follow a few different things with Silicon Valley. Like your work ethic is your badge of honor, but your work ethic is dictated by how many hours you put into your work. And it's like, what's the quality like? And then these things that are so important to your life, like your fuck, man, your family, your children, your wife, they're so important. And yet as fathers and men, we're looking for that external validation that's either a dollar sign or what they think legacy is, is ultimately something that comes crumbling, falling down because a, they didn't value themselves. Enough to create the time and space for themselves to perform at a higher level than what they thought was the pinnacle. They've just created a glass ceiling for themselves. You're fucking done if you keep going down that path. And B, they're neglecting, cut away, cutting away key things that bring significance to a man in life. Otherwise, why don't you just go off on your own in the woods? No, no. Your queen, your family, your children, the fruit of your loins, mate. That's the next stage. That's eternal life. Because when you and me are dead, Dave, we live on through our kids. How they speak, what they say, the words they know, the jokes, they repeat, everything, make their mannerisms. So it's a powerful thing and a powerful breakthrough that you had that a lot of fathers out there that may be top level performers in certain areas in their own right and mind, because of their peers and surroundings or results they've gotten ultimately are burning out. It's good that you recognize that, Dave, because I guess I'd love to know before we dive into the changes you've made so far, what's the alternative if you didn't change? What would happen if you kept going down that path?

It's a pretty slippery slope. Yeah, I might still be here, but I think my health would be a major concern if I didn't make that change. I know my relationship with my wife would probably be dissolved at this point if I hadn't made that change. I probably wouldn't be as close to my kids as I am now. There's just so many aspects to life that if you don't resolve to change and make the hard choice, then it passes you by. And yeah, I might have ended up with a successful business at the end of it, but at what cost? At what cost? What price is that? What's a business worth if I don't have my family, you know, if I don't have those people near to me and they don't think I care for them, you know, that's. That's a high price to pay. So there's two. There's two hard choices, you know, which one are you prepared to live with? And the one I'm prepared to live with is making the hard choice to make the effort to change. And change isn't easy. You know, it goes against our human nature to change. We're creatures of habit and like to stay in our little, little hole in life. But that was just not an option for me. Just wasn't an option.

It's funny too like the way that we're geared, the success that got you to the point you're at has then created the version of who you are and who you currently see yourself as if you don't change. Which is okay because there's a perceived level of success in that and there's a tangible connection. Because I've done this for X amount of years, it's yielded this result. Life doesn't stay the same, does it? Things change. It ebbs and flows, the landscape changes, everything changes. So there's a saying that I love, and it's gotta be specific for the father, for the man. We talk about championship habits and creating true legacy off the back of what you repeatedly do. But ultimately, because they've done what's worked for them, they continue to do the same thing. It doesn't bring the outcomes that A are desirable on a deeper level and B, are going to yield a greater return on the investment of time and energy. Key point is practice makes perfect. Well, we hear a lot of people say, no, that's not the case. Perfection doesn't exist. So what do they say? Practice makes progress. I'm like, okay, well, that's something. But what if you're practicing the wrong things, Dave? I keep doing business, I keep making money, I keep doing these things that are pulling me apart. It's like, well, you don't know where you're going or how you're applying your efforts, which is why, for me, I expanded on that or really cut it away. And my saying to those first two is precision and purpose makes progress. Where are we going? Are we doing it well? Where are we going? Are we doing it well? And then coupling that with the circles of significance, family, self and service. Three things. I don't care how successful a man is in business, three things make up your life, not one. What's happened, what then transitioned from, you reached out, started working together. We've continued to evolve what we do, how we operate. Rdm, obviously. What's changed, mate? Yeah. Have you found your journey? Over the last 12 months, there's been.

A whole series of sort of, aha moments where I've gone, right, I'm getting this now. I understand what I'm doing wrong, you know, and that's the first step, understanding what's wrong and really being honest with yourself. It's a little bit hurtful sometimes to really stare yourself in the mirror and understand the mistakes you're making, but I think that's a pretty important foundation for any man, father or not, to actually be able to do that. A big part of it was realizing that I had the answers. I just didn't know how to apply them. And that came through rdm. Teaching me things that in life, that I'd applied in business for years in terms of planning and structure and building a framework to run a system, to run a business was something that I, I know an inside and out and very familiar with. I hadn't ever applied it to my life. And so it was there in front of me. I just didn't understand it. So when through RDM and talking with yourself, the other coaches, and understanding various aspects of life, I realized I needed a plan, I needed a framework to work within, to progress myself as a person, as a human, as a father. That was really important. And so, you know, I guess goes back to the Chinese proverb of, you know, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Now, if. If I'd begun that journey in the wrong direction, every step I take is worthless. In fact, it might take me three steps to get back to where I need to be. And I think through rdm, I learned what those steps, what that direction was. I was able to assess where I needed to go. And so that thousand mile walk, which I've begun, I know I'm heading in the right direction. Not only do I know I'm heading in the right direction, I now know what I've got to do to keep going. And that's a big part of it is really the psychology behind understanding why I'm doing what I'm doing and what it's worth to me, you know, what that value of that is to me and understanding how I'm going to achieve that without those things in place, you can have the best of intentions, but be going in completely the wrong direction. I'm a guy that probably more than most had more skills there than a lot of guys do to draw on. I just didn't know how to apply them. In terms of framework and business, in terms of understanding how exercise through being a high performer in football, there are aspects that I had to draw on, but I didn't understand how to apply them. And RDM helped me build that framework to operate within. And that's what keeps me accountable today, is knowing, okay, what do I have to do today to keep moving forward? What's that one thing I have to do every day to keep moving forward, and that's my measure. So I have big goals, absolutely everyone should. But I don't look at the distance very often. I'm looking right in Front of me. What do I have to do today to get to the next day, to the next day, to the next week, to next month, next quarter, to the next year and so on.

Great insights, mate, and good shares. Like you said, you had a lot of things you could collate, but how do we apply it? With your plans, with your background in history, your toughness, obviously with the high level rugby, there are a lot of different moving parts that you have. They're good traits to apply or experience that you have. But then how do we apply it and put it together? It's why in one of my last podcasts we spoke about there's got to be a system. There's got to be the right order in how you apply it. Then there's got to be your mental approach, your behavior. Then there's got to be the frequency, how often are you doing this, the pattern. And then that's got to be something that becomes your habit. It becomes autonomous. It's just part of who you are. Now, when we look here on the screens, what I have here, my whole day is completely planned out. My journal, everything I've got, it's all set, it's all sorted. Family, self and service though, yes, I'm going to be skewed. One day towards business more, one day towards family more. Sometimes I take almost a whole day just for myself. That's okay. Balance doesn't exist in life. But life is a balancing act and they are different terms. It's not the same thing I just said then. Understanding the value of when to apply what, where, and the frequency of it is critical, man, because when we talk about habits, it becomes part of who you are. But it's also important to have the right purpose behind the habits you want to build, to carve out who you want to be. Journey of a thousand miles. Exactly what you said then, which fascinates me. And it's nothing against anyone else. Like I love these. We've got lots of different habits books, lots of different psychology books, different courses, things I've read and gone through. But half of them aren't even fathers. And look, the patterns are the same. Human psychology, I get it, human patterns and behavior, absolutely. But the variables. A habit is something that literally creates more control and certainty in the environment you're currently exposed to. That's all it is. So when you're talking fatherhood, business owner, husband and looking after yourself, just being a father alone creates way more fucking variables than anything else. With the children, fucking vomiting, sick, not sleeping, sleeping too much and not Doing what they need to do, not working as a family unit, going through all different hormonal shifts, whether they're six months old, six years old, 16 years old. So many variables that a lot of these people who push habits or performance, coaching, all that sort of shit, they don't fucking understand. How could they? You can't. No one would have prepared me for fatherhood. And I'm sure you'll agree with it.

It was very much the same. Oh, man, it hit me like a brick. It really did.

So what do we do? What we know. So what happens? We're doing what we know in a completely different landscape, which means chaos, and then that means breakdown. And that's why I nearly lost everything, mate, when I first come on board. But I guess my point in leading to that, and I hope that adds some value and opens a perspective to some of you guys listening to this or watching it. Like, it's critical to know where you're obtaining the info. We can have the info, but to know how to apply it to your life and where that's come from too. But what's it been like for you, Dave, knowing that you've got myself, but having a good team, like, in your corner, where our vested interest is purely your victory? Like all I want, like I said, it's got to be sustainable. All we want is for you to win the second half and do it the right way, in your terms. That's it. That's our sole vision for Dave as well. Getting your time back, having your energy, everything together. What's it like, mate, to have that level or that scope of support in your corner?

It's been a game changer for me. As I said, I'm used to resolving problems and challenges on my own. To be open to that opportunity, to sort of put my hand up and say, hey, I need help. And to have coaches, you know, with all different skill sets, you know, jumping forward to help me, you know, quite openly and willingly in their own time, really invested in me. And seeing me succeed is huge. It's absolutely huge. And I've drawn on all the coaches at different times with different needs, you know, times when I might have been tackling a personal challenge that I couldn't resolve myself. I might be calling on Drew or yourself to help with that and resolve that, work through that process. It could be. Swaney has been an enormous help to me. I've got a lot of serious injuries from rugby that have been limitations to me in some respects, not just physically, but mentally, and he's helped Me move through a lot of that as well. That's been fantastic. So, you know, I guess ultimately I couldn't. Couldn't have done this by myself. When I joined rdm, I think we had a pretty unique conversation. You asked me, you know, what was my weight goals, etc. And I had, to be honest, say, I don't have those. I don't know what that number is. I know why I'm doing this. And it's not to do with weight loss. Yeah, absolutely. I can lose some weight, then that would be very beneficial. But it's what's behind that that's really important. So I think getting into this, it's having that clear vision up front, what do you want to achieve? And then using you, Drew, Pete, Adam, Luke, using all of you as the coaches, as tools to help me get there. And it's been huge. This last 12 months has been massive personal growth for me.

And we've seen that as well, mate.

Like where you.

Where you carry yourself, Dave, is. It's awesome. I remember our conversation as well, mate. And it's. It's something that is very fulfilling and rewarding for me to see. And it's also a great insight into going, okay, well, what is possible? Like, we are still just starting our journey as well, mate. That's. That's the funny part. It's unreal. When you break through these layers, you start to see, ah, yes, these are the visions and the goals and dreams I now have, because I'm the version that can see that. And this is where I'm trying to always not be in front of, but ahead of the father we work with to go, hey, I can see you for this. Let's help you see that now. I see for who you can become. Let's help you. I see for where you can go now. Let's help you. And continually realizing that and realizing it not just through your own choices, but backing up with actions to make it truth, to reinforce it. But 2020 was a crazy year, right? Like your business, and it's an awesome business. We use it for our event that had to change, pivot, adjust. Like you. How you've adjusted has been unbelievable. Like, for those who don't know, like, Dave's like a huge adventure travel experiences type business. I'm sure you obviously will explain it better than me, but it's something that is completely pivotal around freedom and access to travel and to be around other human beings, which Covid sort of shot a lot of things to shit for a lot of people last Year. But what are some things that have resulted off the back of everything we've just shared with yourself, with your family, so yourself, your actions, your habits, your routines, your family, how you engage and carry it with them and your business as well, and how that's changed and molded in how you provide value to the world and how that operates now.

Yeah, absolutely. I think one of the fundamental parts for me of a framework or a plan is flexibility. You know, your days are never going to turn out the way you intend or way you hope. I think as dads, we all know that that's how it is. I think this morning my daughter's starting high school today and my son's going into year five. They're both excited, they're pretty hyped up this morning. Trying to sort of get them together and, you know, ready and sort of get them mentally ready for school is one aspect that isn't going to be part of every day. Yesterday, just this week, look, I had a funeral that popped up. You know, that wasn't in my plan but, you know, certainly, certainly made time for it. It was important to me to be there to support the family members of the poor guy that passed away. But that's life. Life doesn't go to a plan. It has a way of pushing you away. So in terms of business, family life, personal life, my own personal growth, the plan has to be flexible and you have to understand and appreciate that life has chaos in it. But if you have some non negotiables in your life that you say, this is what I'm going to do and you just set a goal for those to happen, then how they happen is up to you. And that's the flexibility and the goal. So for me, I've learned that going to the gym, I thought I had time in the evening and I did have time in the evening. But what I didn't have at the same time was willpower. So if I tried to go in the evening, probably three out of ten, I was hitting. But if I go in the morning down that through our Rise to Win program and even before that, getting up early, finding an extra time in the morning, I've got a 10 out of 10 hit rate. I don't miss them. That's where I go, right? That's my non negotiable. That's getting my exercise in to look after me, to look after my physical health, which also looks after my mental health. And then there's time with the kids. It's every weekend, making sure there's something that we do together that might be a little bit different to the norm, break the routine of daily life. And for business, it's been flexible. Sure, I didn't know what Covid was going to look like when it came back in February last year. And even by sort of May, June last year, I didn't know what it was going to look like. So I had to keep adapting and evolving and that meant being flexible in the plan for the business. And that's led me to where I am now, where I've sort of had to put that business into a much more passive role. And it still operates, it's still there, still going fine, but it's nowhere near what it's capable of. And that's beyond my control. And I could whinge and moan about what I can and can't control, but that's wasted energy. So to me, I look at how I can apply what I've got, invest my time in areas that will benefit me and benefit my family. And those things are important to me, family, self service. And that's led me to where I am now, going back to something that I've known for years, which is marketing consulting. And it's something that I know plenty of businesses need help with in this difficult time. So that helps me from a service perspective, not just financially, but also from having a need to help people. I'm an empathetic person, so I want to help people and that's in my nature. So it's not a bad thing to be able to feed that as well.

Yeah, absolutely. It's awesome to say that you can have these changes amidst the chaos we face in life, amidst the stress that we face and the variables like Covid and all the other just crazy stuff that happened in 2020. It was quite a crazy. One of the best years of my life in different ways. But it's because it pulled back the curtain on a lot of people. Their character, their nature, what they're made out of, their support network, their environment, what tribe are they part of that's going to help lift them up and help them break through a lot of hurdles that most people face. And I guess that's one of the reasons why I came out even more steeled, because I knew I'd put the runs on the board in the previous years. Just like you have to have that flexibility to adapt and adjust. You know, having run gyms for 10 years, I've actually sold my gym about almost this time. Actually this time last year, you know, people say, oh, you lucky you did it, mate, before COVID blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, true, but I didn't know that was going to be a factor. So I didn't sell it because of COVID you know, like people think about. And I sold it at a seventh of what I bought it for because it was no longer serving me, mate, and I needed to dial in and harness, which is something that you remind me of. My focus, like you said, focusing on the key things, the most important things. Because with focus comes presence. Focus equals presence. You're present. What am I actually paying attention to? What am I investing? Time and energy. I'll never get that back. I'll have more energy unless I die right now. I'll have more time, but never in that timeline. It's gone. Focus equals presence, which means it equals a greater level of control, but also opportunity in your reality. This is the crazy thing, Dave. So many people think that there's all these things I need to do, there's all this overwhelm and it's like, no, there's only one thing at a time inside of your life. Whilst I've already got plans after we have this podcast, these things I'm doing for myself, doing some yoga. And then I've got more work to do and I'm picking the kids up from school and I've got time with Corrine and. And then I'm helping put the kids to bed and then more time with Chris. They're always different. None of them exist right now. None of them matter. But the system is important. The order in which I do it. Which was why what you mentioned, when it comes to willpower. Yeah, absolutely. I can go train in the gym in the afternoon. I didn't. I was up at 4 o'. Clock. I trained at 4:30 this morning. But my system provides success when it's done in the right order of how I'm turning up the frequency. Val, do something and then how much of a habit it actually is. So it's really interesting that you mentioned that, mate. I'm glad you did too. When you're talking about the success rate, you can have the best habits in the world, which is really a repeated action or, you know, something that is a part of who you are. It's autonomous or it's set in place to plan. All right, let's work the plan. But sometimes, man, if it's not in the right order, that's going to serve you for the greater good for those three areas of your life. Turns A, doesn't it?

Yeah, absolutely. And I think there's a real key aspect there that I think every dad's got to be aware of. And it's what's different. There is a difference between urgent and important. You know, big difference. There'll be urgent stuff that pops up, you know, where you might need to rush your kid to hospital for whatever reason. Those things come up and they're important at the same time. But there's also the urgent stuff that's not really important that will cloud your day. And, you know, keep an eye on that. Keep your eye on what's important to you, achieving what you need to achieve in life, in business, whatever it might be. But keep your eye on that prize, because the urgent stuff will start to overwhelm you and sidetrack you pretty quickly if you don't get the important stuff done first.

And then it becomes fog. It becomes a fog and then a drifting nature that a lot of fathers, some of you listening to or watching this, will feel like. It's all right. I'm just not clear, Al. I don't have clarity over who I am, what I want to achieve, what's important to me. And I know what's important to me, but I'm actually processing it and categorizing it the right way so that I'm investing time in it. And then all of a sudden, it becomes that mouse in the spinning wheel. They can't handle the chaos and stress. And this is what we do. We love fathers asking questions. Free thinkers, absolutely. You need to process and grow and evolve 100%. We don't hold hands and save dads, but there are so many things that we want to remove where you don't have to think, just go. Don't have to worry about that. Save your brain power. Save your capacity for things that are actually important for what you know, you need to consciously be present on. And let us create the autonomy in your life where you know you're going to look after yourself, you know, the byproduct of his family and service. And then it's done. Just execute. Just do it. Just do it. It's that simple. Like, just go ahead, bank boom here. But one of those is self, what I just mentioned then, which I guess not backpedaling, but just expanding on what you spoke about. The changes in your life. How has taking the time to value and prioritize that time and energy and effort for yourself, the big circle at the top, how has that influenced and impacted not only your own belief systems, but also the other two circles, family.

And service, In a big way. In fact, fundamentally, that's where I was going wrong the most in life was self. I had a big confusion around selflessness and selfishness. I thought when I was not doing something for me because I was investing in something else, or if I was investing in me at all, that was selfish because I was stealing time from something or someone else. So if I decided to do something for me, that meant I didn't have time with my wife or time with my kids, or time in business, whatever it might be. So I put myself at the very bottom of the list because I thought anything to do with just developing me was selfish. And if there's probably no more singular, important lesson that I got through rdm, it's understanding the difference between being selfish and being selfless and looking after yourself and understanding that if you look after yourself, you have more time. You know, it feels like an oxymoron when you've been doing life the other way for so, so long. It just feels wrong at first. And I challenge myself a lot on that. But now that I've got that and now that I understand investing myself and making time for myself for personal growth and development, that those other aspects of my life, family and business, have got a lot more balance to them, you know, they really do, you know, And I'm far more present because I'm not worried about, in my mind where I should be, because I'm thinking I'm being selfish. So if I take an hour out to go for a walk in the morning to clear my head and plan my day and get my exercise in, that's an investment. And that goes back to time. That goes back to valuing your time, understanding what time really is, how much of it you have, and making sure that you're using it to your own advantage. So you know, those extra couple of hours that I've got in the morning, every morning now, I think before we started Rise to Win, I was getting up around 7am I'm now getting up around 5:30. Somewhere between 5 and 5:30 every morning. That's another hour and a half the day I've got. And coming from a guy that was sleeping four hours a day when I joined, I'm now getting close to six hours, which is just a phenomenal difference. So again, that time I'm in bed is decent investment. I'm not wasting time in front of the tv. I used to basically go to bed with a laptop beside my bed and I'd watch an episode or something on Netflix. I don't do that anymore. It's just not part of my routine. It wasn't serving me. I thought it was serving me by numbing myself from what was actually going on and being able to zone out and be a zombie for a couple of hours, but it wasn't serving me. And it's those realisations through the coaches and through the program, you know, the movement of rdm, that I've realized there's so much more that I can do with my time. So do I have more time in terms of chronology? No, I don't. There's still 24 hours in a day, but how I'm investing that time is incredibly different. And so the quality of that is huge.

Some amazing points there that you've mentioned. We look at the relaxing. Everyone wants to relax, right? But that word you said was perfect. It's numbing. I did an episode on sedation and distraction. It's not that I have anything against alcohol or television, but is it going to move you forward into the best version you can become? It depends on the volume, of course, but almost certainly not. It doesn't mean that I don't watch TV ever again. I mean, if I had my choice, I wouldn't have a TV in the house with the kids. They love their shows and there's some great educational pieces we show them too, and I dive into them every now and then. But Jesus, mate, it's something where you're getting that time back and quality with that time. Yes, Chronologically, it's all the same, but your entire perspective, you hear the age old. You're with a woman, an hour feels like a second. You put your hand on a hot stove and the second feels like an hour. It's all relative. But that's what we get. We bring that relativity back with purpose to go, hey, I'm getting the most out of this because of how I'm turning up and how I'm operating now, which is huge. I mean, you had some great key points there, mate. One of the biggest ones is when you're buying your time back, it really becomes the next step of what you can do. It becomes limitless. You have an RDM. It's like, man, we're going to give you 20 hours of your week back. You're going to get that back right away, which means you're going to invest in better sleep patterns, better waking patterns. And this isn't a commercialized life coach. Fucking everyone has to get up at 4am like, it's all relative to the father and what he does There are different dads who will get up at 5:30, some still get up at 6, some will get up at 5. Like I said myself, I bounce between 5:30 is good. I like 5:30, but there's a few days a week where I do get up at four, quarter past four. And it sets the structure for what I need for my training. Awesome. But having that personal approach, but depth in why we do it is critical, mate, because when you get that time back in how you use it, when we say you're getting your time back, it's how you're now using it and prioritizing it, how do you think that would change a man's life who's not currently doing that in a compounding way? Triple the energy back. Yeah. Your body composition, your physiology adjusts as it needs over time. Awesome. But yeah, we're not fitness coaches for fat loss programs. It's going, how are we getting what the father needs the most? The man creates the identity that he wants with all the hats that he wears. He gets time back with a higher quality and level because of the energy as to now express that physically and mentally. How would that affect a man on a compounding level to shift and adjust who isn't doing that at the moment and does that for 12 months? That's a lot. It's a thousand hours.

The results, continual growth, you know, that's ultimately it. If I look at what I've achieved in the last 12 months in terms of my personal development and growth, it's more than I've achieved in the past 10 years. And that's a pretty scary realization, you know, that there's 10 years. I'm not going to say I wasted them. I learned a lot over that time. And the lessons that I had to learn that applied to where I am now. But yeah, in 12 months, to see where I've come from and where I am now is huge. And that's through that continual growth. It's through looking at that time as an investment. No more wasted time. And understanding that time for self is actually creating time for all the other aspects of my life as well.

That's the key thing. And that's what you're reminding me of too. You talk about being selfish, right? And selflessness and all that and selfing, you know, looking after you, which is something that we, we steer away from because we think we should give our children or our wife more time or our business more time. But you got to be 100 to give 100. That's what I always say. All right, you're giving your family more time, you're giving them a 40% version of you. How does that make you feel? And this is the case where it's not that I'm a hard ass mate, but we can quickly change tone if someone brings up a roadblock or their own roadblock or wall to our approach and our philosophies, which they're not opinions. It might not be 40%, it might be 37% or maybe 43%. It's not specific, but it is not an opinion either. This is the fact. You're being even more fucking selfish if you are giving your family a lesser version of you because you're not working and investing yourself to give them a higher caliber man of who you are with the time that you have with them. Absolutely. How can you argue that, mate?

You can't. I've lived it. I've lived it. And that for me was one of my aha moments with rdm is realizing that I'm giving a lesser version of myself to my wife, to my kids, to the people that really matter to me. And they're getting, you know, the poorer version of me. How's that fair? How's that good for them? And that's what was the turning point for me between being selfless or self engaged and being selfish. You know, they're different things. And as fathers, I think often we feel like we've got to put ourselves last to prioritise our children, prioritise our wives, etc. But it's the complete opposite. It's the truth. And I only learned that through idm.

Yeah, it's something where a lot don't. And it's like, mate, I can empathize and I do. I've got a big heart, but I can try and understand that angle. I'm half a tail, mate. I get it. Family first. I've seen it. I've seen the catastrophes at play because of the underlying deals. This is what happens, right? Especially with the wogs. There's all these underlying deals. They do it for the family. Do it for the family. So when something doesn't come back to them with an expectation of what they want. I did all of this for you, right? These are deals under the table, mate. I'm telling you, I see it. And people do it all the time, not just Italians. So crazy. You give someone something, it's a gift, no expectation or return. People don't. They create hidden agreements and contracts that the other person doesn't know about. So then when they want some sort of savior or saving or some expectation of return because it hasn't been clearing up front because they haven't invested and worked on themselves first. They're looking at external validation to justify who they are, their experiences, what they should have in their family, people, places and things. It becomes friction because it wasn't their understanding on the other side. So all of a sudden, this collision, that's like, well, what do you expect? You know, like, it's. It's crazy. And I had a guy abuse me the other day on one of my ads with that. He's like, no, no matter what, mate, family first. You know, sort your shit out. You don't know what you're talking. I'm like, yeah, okay. Put your family, self, family first by being the best you can be. Any questions? You know, like, it's. I don't want to try and understand that level of thinking because it takes up space in my head. That doesn't make sense. It doesn't work out for anyone. Yeah, for anyone, Dave, but your children. The father they want and the father they have is through the vessel and the body of Dave. You know, like, that's it, the end. What were some of the biggest takeaways, I guess you've gotten from that and from what we've done so far as well?

I think what you were just talking about is appreciating that life isn't fair. What you put in isn't what you get out. You know that that's going to swing up and down throughout life and you're going to have people who are takers in your life and take from you and others who give you more than. More than you feel like you deserve. That's life. So don't expect to give, you know, give out and get exactly the same back in return. That's just not how life works. It's coming to terms with that, accepting that and that there are aspects in life that you know that will play out. I think big lesson for me has been time. No question about that. Valuing time, understanding its worth. And really there's no more precious commodity in life than time. There really isn't. You've got so much of it, you can't buy more of it. It is what it is. You've got to make the most of it. And you know that's a priority. And so how do you make the most of it is where the lessons I've learned through IDM have come from is understanding, well, what are my priorities? What is my vision for Myself, what are my goals, what am I, what are my actions I need to take to get there, how to invest that time to achieve all of that. That's, that's probably fundamentally one of the biggest aspects that I've got from it.

And it would be, you know, like when I did the interview with me pop and he died at 94 mid, mid to late last year when I did interview as the start of the year and he, it was, it was crazy. He's talking, this is a 94. Like he was, he was bringing up memories of. They didn't get Christmas presents. All the boys had had one, you know, one bike to share, horse and cart was common. Cars were rare. There obviously wasn't tv. Yeah. And here he is, he was telling his stories like it's just it so fast. So fast. And the last thing he said he was, we other family members saw him, but we were the last, Corinne and I were the last to see him when he was still cognitively functioning, so to speak, and he was declining fast. And he grabbed me on the arm, he said, mate, family is everything. He said, you look after her, you look after your family. And he was looking in my eyes and I was very emotional, mate. Like I was welling up more than Corinne. And as my pop in law, to be fair, just to be clear on that, so is Corinne's grandfather. And it's just like family is what you make. It doesn't have to be bound by blood. Your tribe, your environment, everything around you forms your life. There's one constant with you and your life, Dave. And the constant in Dave's life is the environment Dave's in. It's why this is so important when we have these fathers that they want to reach the next level. They might be doing very well in certain areas or they think they are because they've had success or they've had runs on the board or certain digits or equations that add up, right. But there's chaos, there's fog, there's no clarity. Life, like you said, you only get so much is passing by and they'll blink. They'll be on their deathbed, certainly not sitting back going, fuck, I wish I watched more TV and drank more alcohol. They wouldn't be saying that. No real man would. Real father would. What would be your advice, mate? Some of those dads, like, they want to go to the next level. They're burning out there. They don't know how to utilize their time. They're struggling with energy. As we wrap this up, mate, it's Been an awesome episode. What would be your advice to a father out there who's listening? He's not here to be saved. He's naturally driven, he's competitive, he wants to get there, but he doesn't know how. And he's just staying afloat.

Yeah. First up is identify what's wrong in your life. Start with what's wrong, understand what's wrong, then figure out where you want to be. Really get that vision clear of what you want out of life. You know, there's no path to improvement if you don't know where you're headed. You know, that's really important. I think building that framework, that plan to get there is another big aspect. Surround yourself with people who can help you. You know, people who have your best interests at heart, whether that be rdm, your family, whether they're blood or not. But really look at the people that can really help you out and surround yourself with those people, lean on those people when you need to and take from them what you can to keep you moving forward. I think that's a really big aspect to me. Coming from where I came from, I see how much that's helped me in the past 12 months and I'm really, really grateful to you and the team of coaches for persevering with me through some tough times and helped me come out the other side. And I really think that anyone who's in doubt or any dad that's really struggling, you know, this is a great platform. It's a movement, it really is. It's a platform to allow you to move forward. But what you've got to understand is you've got to be willing to make the change. Joining something like RDM or anything else hitting the gym, for example, is not going to make that change happen on its own. You need to understand that you need to be part of that change. It's just not going to happen on its own. So the network and support you have around you can help you, help you along the way, but you need to be part of that. You need to be willing to change yourself.

Great points, Dave, and love having you on, mate. It's been an awesome episode. Really enjoyed you sharing your story and your journey so far. And, and this is what we do. We create high performance fathers. And the reason why we say father is because you are not the only one in the world anymore. You're not the only one. You have responsibilities and duties and obligations, but they're gifts, they're opportunity, they're great. But this is your world as well, it's got to be you. That's the key. This is the yin and the yang, right? That's the double side of another coin. You are not the only one in the world anymore. You're not 17 or 18 year old fucking around. This is your life, this is legacy. You want to create legacy, it's got to be you. But this is also your world. You've got to do you first be 100 to give 100. And when you do that, you'll create those championship habits that we build, we continually refine, we evolve as a team with the right environment and you will level up. It's a bot. You can't notice, you can't not. You know, I was saying to you off air, like I was just laughing. It's like we used to talk about high energy and motivational. Is it? Now it's more with less. Like the systems, the data, the tracking, how we continually evolve and we've got some amazing things we keep rolling out. You just turn up like what Dave just finished with. You can't not win, you can't lose. It's done. It's a given, it's what we do, it's what we live and breathe. But it's great having you on, mate. Appreciate having you in, Dave.

Pleasure to be in.

Thank you. Hope you enjoyed it, mate, as much as I did.

I have. Thank you.

It's awesome hearing the message from, from others. Same with you guys. Listening to this or watching it? Don't just hear from me. It's great to hear from other dads who are living and breathing the journey. And it is a movement, mate. It is a change. It's important, necessary for the father, for the family, for the communities, for everyone, mate. When dads win, everyone wins. You know, it's not something that I lightly say absolutely.

It's. It's your life. Choose to live it the way you want, you know, make that choice. Sometimes it can feel hard, but what's hard, you know, what is hard is hard. 20 years time, major health issues because you've not done anything with yourself to improve yourself, look after yourself. Or is hard making the choice now to change you know which, which is your heart. That's what I'd end with. You know, I think that every day listening, choose your hard.

I couldn't have said it better myself. It's perfect. Hope you guys enjoyed this and got a lot out of it. Join us again soon for another episode on our podcast. Cheers, guys. Thanks, Dave.

Thanks, Frank.