93. Influence Map To Find The Treasure

Foreign. Welcome to another episode of Real Dad Movement Podcast. This is your host, Al. In today's episode, we talk about influence, how to move, how to help someone move, and how to get someone to move on their terms. Let me just be clear at the start of this episode. This is not about tactics, tricks or manipulation or deceit of any kind. Everything we do, everything we stand for is always out of a line of love. And love doesn't necessarily mean the big red love heart and lovey dovey fluff that people try to associate it with. When I'm talking about love, I'm talking about the positive and a greater energy inside of your life, inside of your legacy and creating your own legend of who you are that has a natural ripple effect and byproduct of those you love and care about and those you may never even meet or may never even know. There's guys just like you that I may never even meet in person. But if I can have a positive ripple effect and influence you and your life and get you to move the right way on your terms by following this simple process that I have outlined that we'll go through today, that's a win. That to me is harmony, that's harmonious, that is contribution, that is achievement, that is fulfillment, and that is meaning and purpose. You can't have that. You can't have significance. If you're around trying to manipulate people and trying to use tricks or tactics to coerce someone into doing what you want for your own benefit, that doesn't work that way. And truth be told, yes, some people may not work on themselves. That's their responsibility where they allow themselves to be manipulated. I get that. I totally get that. But truth be told, if you are a leader, if you're a real man, if you're standing up in the world, you want to really lead your life the right way and lead those around you the right way through your actions, you can't be doing that, mate. It's got to be out of a line of love with no hidden agenda and ultimately with their best interest at heart, because of the best interest at heart that you have to be a true leader and serve those you care about. So how do we do it, Al? How do we have a positive effect on people? How do we influence people? It's quite a strong and common word and theme in business or in marketing or in advertising or in teams or team building. Influence is a word that I love. And being an influential character with passion are two things that I naturally get tagged or aligned with. I Don't personally do that, but it's a natural byproduct. I don't believe that. See, for me, passion is something above and beyond what the standard or the norm is. But my normal operating system and how I carry myself is something other people see as passionate. But for me, that's just who I am, just is what it is. But having this passion and influence with others, not over others, but with others on the level, is something that I hold dear to my heart. And it's not because I know what's best for you. It's because what I'm sharing has gone through a sequence or a series of processes that I will share with you, that I ultimately work from the inside out. Start with you and end with others because of you. That's a powerful thing, you know, it's something that I love doing by standing up and leading and aligning and finding those people who love and want to share that same journey, the same feeling, the same approach. Here's the crazy part. RDM can be for every father, but the reality is it isn't. And it's got nothing to do with me. Our message at a fundamental level in helping fathers become high performance fathers in their life and getting their shit together and removing stress and chaos, to get better time back, to rewind their body clock and to ultimately have a family that desires and respects them. A family and a wife that cares and appreciates who they are and the level of sacrifice and action they hold. That's a pretty universal message where it must be coupled with consistently seeking growth. Does that mean that I don't cop abuse on my ads? Well, of course not. I do every single day. But ultimately, if you disagree with that message of alignment and growth and becoming your best version and evolving into a true legacy when you're gone and you and me are both dead and our children live on building their legacy because of us. We are the giants. Shoulders from which they are standing on. To see further, reach further, reach higher and go longer. Well, fuck, mate, maybe you should have a look at yourself first instead of throwing stones in a glass house. In this episode, there's something I've designed called the Influence Map to finding the Treasure Chest of Gold. The Influence Map. This is where I want to break it down into a bit of a story sequence slash analogy for you to really visualize. Visualize this with me, mate. Let's. Let's go on a journey together and really break this down. The Treasure chest of gold is obviously influencing others to positive change in their life. But that Must start with yourself. The influence map to finding the treasure chest of gold. The treasure chest of gold is a great one because what this entails is not only the influence you're having over others in the right way, that itself is a byproduct of how you're standing up as a man, a father, a husband, a real leader in society and in your life. Against all odds, against all adversities, against the numbers which are heavily stacked against us in both a discriminatory way. There's nothing more dangerous than being a middle aged white man in today's world in multiple facets and also with the numbers being stacked against us in the odds and chances of this being a successful journey and endeavor very, very low. There would be lucky to be 5% of people in the world who actually live life completely and wholly, more often than not on their terms, with love and fulfillment and reaching for their potential. Lucky to be that. I'd say it's more like 98%, 99% are the other way inclined. Mediocrity, average accepting standards, demanding more. You know, I don't want an average dinner where I'm at a restaurant, I don't want an average movie, I don't want an average seat of luxury to sit in. Yet I'll accept average within myself. How's that for some hypocrisy? Fucking hell, mate. I'll tell you what, you see it every single day. There's no cancer worse in the world and no bigger drainer of the greatest resource, which is energy, coupled with the greatest investment of our resources, which is time, than people who live a hypocritical life and those who are lying to themselves. This is a quote. Just before we dive into the influence map, there's two quotes I want to share with you two that I've written and designed myself. Not that old quotes don't have value, but I just love a thought and creativity that goes into things that are relevant, especially for fathers in the second half. Your legacy has nothing to do with you personally. It has everything to do with what you have and what you've left behind when you're gone. Let me say that again and just make sure it's nice and clear because I did a bit of ad lib then and I've got it written here. Your legacy has nothing to do with you personally. It has everything to do with what you leave behind when you're gone. The second quote is this, which reinforces what I was talking about with hypocrisy and liars, people being Liars. I'm not a liar, Al. I tell the truth. Yeah, when you tell it, do you bring up the truth though? Do you bring up the mirror? This is where it gets really wishy washy in quite a gray area when it comes to leadership because there are a lot of unknowns, right? You think you're a leader, but are you bringing up the truth or are you just speaking the truth that's brought to attention at the present moment and the rest is hidden and swept under a fucking rug? Because that's what most people do, mate. Don't worry about that. I was one of them. The quote is this. People lie to themselves every day by not exploring where they can improve in life. This isn't a riddle, it's the truth. People lie to themselves every day by not exploring where they can improve in life. What do you mean now? I mean they're not exploring. Maybe they're happy with life, maybe they're settled, maybe things are good, they're comfortable or they're doing well or that's it. Yeah, that might be the case. But all of a sudden, when a reason or an excuse pops up and they haven't got their shit together with one certain area of life, when you peel back the layers and turn back the clock and wind it back and dial in on the key point or points where they've created an excuse inside of themselves by not exploring where they can improve, that then fast tracks and fast forwards into the current day to day where they go, oh yeah, it's just what happens when you get older. I don't have time to do that anymore. I'm just not that athletic anymore. Oh no, I can't do meal prep. It's too hard. Oh, no, no, it's okay. You know, I love my kids. I provide and put food on the table, look after them. And oh yeah, I'm committed to my wife. We got married 15 years ago. And yeah, no, she, she loves me and I love her. But you rest on your fucking laurels. You don't expand who you are and explore a greater version of who you can become. This is the problem. If I challenge you with something, trust me, it's not from a hard ass or a judgmental point of view, but I'm challenging you on something. On where you can evolve and grow. So when you hit me back with a bullshit excuse and then we put peel the layers all the way back, ultimately what you've done is you've lied to yourself over the years, which has then become a story and solidified Inside of the version of who you are, which has limited who you can become because you don't believe it's possible. Your glass ceiling is real, man, and whether you can see it or not, it's coming down on you and you feel smaller and smaller. That's what I mean by that quote. See? Influence. And the point of this, because there's always a point. Yes, I speak well, I've got good charisma, I can deliver a message, but there's always a point. Before we dive into the influence map and the treasure chest of gold, the point is this. You must influence yourself first. Yeah. There's no two ways around it. Like when we go through this, what I'm going to do is I'm going to model this map, one for you and one for you, towards others. Okay, we're going to break this into two pieces. Won't be a super long session, but break it into two pieces so it's crystal clear and you understand. Firstly, everything that goes without or outside or outward comes from within. That's true. Right. You've got to influence yourself first. Everything you do physically, yes, it affects you mentally. But the spark, the initiator of that is internally flicking the switch, flicking the switch, changing state, making choices, influence, influence. Influencing you. Funny part is though, the external environment influences you more than anything else. Nothing will influence you more internally than your external environment. So when you are making these internal calls, these shots, these game makers, these plays in your life, what's your current environment surrounding, dictating to you or influencing you on who you can become? Right here and now is a perfect example, mate. Like, if you're listening to this and you follow my podcast, you are striving for more. You want to become a high performance father. There's something in here that you resonate with even if you don't see yourself as that. You are an athlete. If you're training, you've got a training regime, an eating regime, you're moving your body, you are an athlete. I don't care how old you are, what you weigh, if you've got your shit together with your family, with yourself, with your surface, our three circles of significance, you, you are a high performance father. Or you're striving to become a high performance father. You're not one yet. Unless you're obviously on the inside of our program and you go through and you graduate. Yes, that's our standards. But you are striving towards becoming that when you're investing and immersing yourself in this type of environment. Yes, we are influencing you. And it's the exact same thing. It's the exact same process that I'm going through. The treasure chest. The map. And these are three key points. Where are you going? What are you doing? And how do you do it? That's it. Influence 101. Done. Hope you enjoyed this episode. I'll see you next time. Wait, Al, wait. What do you mean, mate? Give me more, please. Yes. Let's dive into this. The first part is helping you change the way you think. Right. Where are you going? And we're breaking this into three sections. The influence map. This is your map. This is your roadmap. This is your game plan. This is your map towards that treasure chest of gold. Influencing your own life and influencing others. Where are you going? Three key points. The explorer. It's you. I am getting you and helping you think differently about yourself. So where are you going? That's your perspective. Perceptions and questions. Perceptions and questions. Ps and q's. Three areas. The explorer is the first point in the explorer. Right. We're looking for this gold. You've got the compass, the hunting party and the binoculars. The compass is you. Wherever you turn. As you hold this, the arrow changes and shifts. What are you thinking about yourself? How do you think and feel about yourself? What are the perceptions that you have about you? How do you turn up inside of your own world? Inside of your own head? Hunting parties, Others. What role do other people play in your life and how do they become part of your life? Through your perceptions. Yes. Inner circle and environment. Which is the binoculars? If we're looking at this, and we're going to break this analogy down to being an explorer, first point. Where are you going? The explorer. Perceptions and questions. Compass. Hunting parties and binoculars. The compass is you. Where are you guiding your true north? Where are you going through your thoughts, your visions, your belief systems. What's going on in between the ears and in your heart? How do you see others? Other people? Whether it's strangers, whether it's your inner circle, whether it's your environments. Like this is one particular environment. RDM's environment. My family's an environment. And there's lots of different environments in your community and society as well. What's your perception of those that are in your corner? How do you see them? How do you view them? Where are they going? What role do they play in your life? Binoculars, environment. A bigger perspective, a larger lens. The world. Your environment could be your community. It could be your state, it could be your country. What does that look like? To you? How do you feel about where you currently live? How do you feel about your external surroundings and where you immerse your life, whether it's nature driven or a concrete jungle? How are you thinking? Like, what's your thought process? We're getting you to change the way that you think, changing the way that you think about yourself, the way that you see others. You know when there are guys that are acting like fuckwits and they're reaching out and abusing me on my ads, I don't take that personal. I can't. They don't know who I am, they don't know who I am. And obviously they don't know what I stand for. And isn't it crazy? Like, you know, in a whole world where I'm saying, when dads win, everyone wins. I cop nothing from females or mothers. They love what I do. I only ever copped flack from other fathers. Isn't that interesting? As we bring up the mirror and we see what's really going on inside? Because that's what it is. What you project is a reflection of your internal environment. So when I'm looking at myself, at others, I don't take it personal. I'm on the level. People who love me and cheer me on, people who don't like me don't stand. Don't like what I stand for. That's okay. My perception is one of humility and balance across the board of what they're doing in their actions. A reflection of themselves. How am I seeing the world? The opportunity, how we see things? What's going with COVID all the bullshit around that, like, how do I see that? How do I let that influence or affect. How am I thinking about that? What's the thought process there? Where are you going? What are you doing? Section two, you've got the explorer inside and out. He's got his hunting party, his compass and his binoculars. Where is he going? Perceptions of himself and all that's around him. What are you doing? This is the discovery phase, the discovery process. Your personal legend. So this is challenging your character. Are you in a growth mindset? Where are you going? Comes down to who are you and who do you want to become? What are you doing right now and what are you doing to move into that next level version of who you want to become? Can you see the overlap here? Like, when we're talking about influence, what's the first one? Where are you going? Changing your thought process? What's that? Vision, man. Point A to point B. Like vision, compass, hunting parties. Other sets of eyes, your teamwork, your support, your tribe. Binoculars seeing further, going further. Where are the sights set at vision point A to point B. Awesome. We've got that. What are you doing? What are you doing right now? Remember, this is me on you. I'm influencing you. Like, what's your character like? What does a better version of you look like today? If he was going to act today, what you're doing right now, what you have planned for the rest of the week, if there was a better version of you, just a little bit in the future, who kicked ass and hit the goals and the metrics that you've set out, because you've got to be clear on that, man. Otherwise you're pissing in the wind. What would he tell you? What would he tell you to do? What would he tell you to change? What does that look like? Someone who's just a little bit better than you, he's just leveled up. That next little bit. A future version of you who's leveled up, he's created change in his life. That's your personal legend. What are you doing to work towards that and having that growth mindset to get there, his surroundings on that journey where you are now taking action, what are you connected to? How are you shaping up their involvement? Not just in your hunting parties, how you see them, but their involvement in how you interact and engage with them. You're a proper connection. First it's your vision, how you see them, how you see them for what they can become. Now it's how you're interacting with them, how you're connecting with them, how you're moving with them, how you're taking action with them. And the third part of this, because the first two sections have three parts each, is finding the gold. We found it Al. X marks the spot. We are here. What have you done to get there? So if we're going to break this down to an example of a family unit, it's being a team player, right? What are you doing to contribute to the team? What are you doing to contribute to your family? To contribute and do things for your wife? You might complain or complain in your own head or to your mates. Hopefully never to your mates. Fucking hell. But you complain inside or you're bitter or resented because you might not get enough sex. Well, let's wind it back a little bit. Maybe sex isn't the pinnacle. Maybe you having more sex in your life isn't actually the climax. Maybe that's just a byproduct of you turning up as a man. Being open and clear and communicating with your wife and doing things for her so she's not exhausted and working as a team. So you're both not exhausted and you're moving towards some proper goals individually and together as a team. Maybe that's better. And this isn't about me diving into my personal and intimate type of things, but I'll tell you right now, mate, the byproduct of the outcome, which guys commonly see as a pinnacle, is something that I naturally welcome as a byproduct or side effect that I don't openly chase out of desperation or continuously hounding or hassling or asking my missus. It becomes something where it is a natural connection and a point where we have the time and opportunity to come together and spend some time together. Does the outcome always involve in the deed? Maybe, maybe not. But this is on you. Like if you have that expectation, it's never going to work, mate. You're applying the wrong focus. You're looking at lag measures. What's the outcome that I want? Instead of a different lag measure where the outcome could be a deeper connection with your wife and more fire and stoking that wildfire. So you're on point all the time. You've got that desire and appreciation. Maybe that's the outcome. And maybe a lead measures the actions of things and shit you do around the house. Not just making money for the family and connecting and communicating with her and working as a team together, supporting the children, being a real father, which turns them on like nothing else, I'll tell you that much. And ultimately being a real hero and leader and protector of the family across each facet of the family from which the desire and appreciation naturally lifts. And these actions lead to the byproducts of the outcome and which is having a higher level of desire and appreciation, which leads to having intimacy, sex, making love, whatever you want to call it. This is important because you yourself as a leader can apply this to your wife. Where are you going? The Explorer Compass hunting party and binoculars. When it's someone outside of you, the questions expand a little bit more. Like they can be pretty direct. Like, if I'm doing this to you right now, can you see how I'm asking you more questions? I'm asking questions about your relationship, what you're actually doing, what you think contributes, your rite of passage or your golden ticket to having sex. That's one example. I'm giving you one very, very quick example on this. But if I'm asking you questions, you can do a self Analysis on this as well. It'll be less questions, but it's more direct. It's you on you, mirrors up. But with other people there is a process like I'm doing with you now. How do you think and turn up for yourself? How are you viewing and thinking and seeing others? How are you thinking and viewing about your world, your environment where you currently live and the environment that you gauge in at work, at home and socially? What are you doing in that environment to paint that picture of the version A to version B that you want to become? This is a map. We're finding the treasure chest. Don't forget that. We want the gold, we want the goods, man. Starts with influencing yourself and influencing others. Your personal legend. What are you doing to become a better version of who you can become? What does that look like right now at work when shit hits the fan and there's fires you need to put out? What does a better version of Al look like? Or Bill or Bob or Mark or Wayne? Like, what does that look like for you? You're listening to this right now. What does that look like? If you've got someone who's just the king of the castle, he dominates everything. Cool, calm, collected, no stress and chaos. Shit hits the fan at work. What would he do to be a real team player and leader and how would he do it? By finding the gold and being a team player and contributing together and connecting with your surroundings. These are questions where it's not a shotgun approach and it's not a rapid fire thing, but I'm just prodding and poking different lines of perspective because I'm still at point number one. I'm getting you to think differently than processing the actions. What are you doing? And then our third point. Well, how do we do it? How do you do it? How do we do it? Al, if you've got the compass, you've got your hunting party, you've got your binoculars. Your personal legend is finding the gold and continual pursuit of that with your surroundings. Being connected to your environment. The trees, the rocks, the cave, the sand, the ocean. You're on the island and you've found the gold. X marks the spot. This is how you do it, mate. You pick the fucking shovel up and you dig. The third section is one point and one only. You lead by example. The end. Where are you going? Point A to point B. Perspective. Perception and questions. Perceptions and questions. Changing the way you think. What are you doing? Point A to point B. How do you do it? This is how and you model it. You are the Mentor, the role model, the hero, the leader of your family because you are that of yourself. You pick up the shovel and you dig and you find that gold. You get down and dirty and you get it. See, here's the thing. Like we have a cleaner who cleans our house, right? It's not. The cleaning's beneath me. I love cleaning. It's so easy. Like it's so easy cleaning the house. It's therapeutic. It's something I actually enjoy. Our house is messy at times. Sure, we've got three kids under five, but it's not dirty. We live in a clean household. But yeah, of course it gets messy. You know, we walk out of the room, the kids playroom, there's shit everywhere. And by that I mean lots and lots of different toys. Not that they're either toilet trained or they've got nappies. Don't worry about that. This is the thing though. Someone will be like, oh, you know, too, too good to clean out. No, no, no. I know how to clean. I know how to do it and I still do it and I do it well. But if it's going to buy me three hours a week and buy a stress relief for my wife who's keeping the house while I'm out building the empire that is rdm. And we're moving towards our legacy as a family and individually. And I'm being someone who's turning up family, self and service as a father, husband, as someone providing value and service to you and providing value to myself and self respect and looking after my health and body. It's worth it to me to pay someone 50, 70, 80, 100 bucks to clean our house. Why wouldn't it be? It doesn't make any sense. My wife's got a ganglion cyst on her wrist at the moment. It's fucked. She's still breastfeeding Roman. Like it's hard for her. I'm not going to put that pressure on her. I've already traded time and effort to accumulate that money. So I'll use that money to buy back time and effort. It's pretty simple, mate. So what we need to do is look at this and go, okay, well you can lead by example, but then when you model and lead by example, you've got the runs on the board. That. That's it. That's it. That's your collateral, man. Like, that's your leverage. You know, I've got a full coaching team, a staff team. Every single thing they're doing, I've done, I've already done It, I've done it, I've documented it, I've delegated it. They're doing it. They're doing it very well. They should be doing it better than me because that's all I need to focus on. Whereas I wore all the hats. I had to wear all the hats. Building my business, that's pretty fucking hard. You know that, right? Running your own business, very hard. But I can't live in the zone of being an operator. Nothing builds, nothing grows. I wouldn't be here doing this podcast right now, but I still had to earn my stripes. I didn't understand all this stuff we're doing right now. Before I became a father, couldn't. Hey, man, I've been through the ringer. Multiple operations, reconstructions, failed businesses, career torn to shit, Elite athlete gone, Rebuilding my body, learning to lift my arm again, learning to walk again, learning to eat food again with my broken jaw. That's a fucking nightmare, man. Like, I age very quickly in my 20s. Don't worry about that. But even then, overcoming all these adversities, nothing brings up the mirror more than fatherhood. Whether your kids are 5 or 15 or 25 never ends. You're so invested in something that is a part of you, yet it's actually outside of you and outside of a certain element of your control. Influence, though. Yes, I can control my kids right now because I can overpower them. But is that really out of a love for them? No, it's not. Is that going to come back and bite me in the ass? 100%, man. Can I influence them? Can I get them to think differently without even them thinking that they're thinking differently because of what I'm doing? Of course I can. What a beautiful thing. Because then they make their discoveries, they make their pathway, they make what is to be true to them, to be known to them on their terms. But of course, they've been influenced by me. No baby comes into the world with a blueprint of success or of the way they speak or the way they operate or what they do. None. None. You're painting the artwork with them, mate. Like, if we're going to dial this back into you for someone else, being a true leader and doing it for someone else, being a champion to someone else. So you can be that champion for yourself. Because it's not just about you, but it is on you, mate. 100%. That is an artwork. Your children are a work of art. Their life is a work of art. Sorry. And you are both artists. You might be feeding them the paint. Sometimes you Might be doing something of the brush strokes. That's okay. You might be a heavy role in their life. Sometimes you'll be a light roll. Sometimes you'll think you're none. But guess what? Maybe you're just standing behind them and they can't see you, but you're actually standing from a different perspective and looking over this big fucking masterpiece that they're building and you've helped them build and you're just having a look so they can't see you. But you can see them, right? Their backs turn to you, but you're watching them. You're watching the poetry in motion. What a fucking amazing thing. Fatherhood may feel like a burden to some, maybe for you, maybe if your shit isn't together and you haven't got time and you're wasting it on sedation and distraction and you haven't got your shit together in the right way where you know you can be more for yourself, which means naturally, of course, you're more for them. But mate, it's not a burden, it's a beautiful opportunity. Because influence comes down to the mirror constantly being held and reflected to us, which is how we influence our family. How I influence my wife, I don't coach my wife, but of course I influence. The whole world is full of that every single day. People call it negotiations, people call it sales. Like you sell every day, you know, whether it's your children negotiating or selling to you, or you sell it to them on an idea or something you should do or a suggestion. Hey, there's constant battles at the moment with my 2 year old. She's ruthless, man. She's going straight to the top, make no mistake. And she's an Aries. Nothing will stop her. Jesus. You know, like I look at it though, as not sales and negotiation. I don't try and bring some sort of corporate theme to life, but every single day there are points of influence. Break it down to willpower, discipline, self control, whatever you want to call it. But this is a powerful episode, man. And if you've missed something, go back and listen to this again because this will change your life. If we're using the analogy of the influence map and you want to find that treasure chest, three points. Where are you going, right? The explorer. How are you thinking and seeing yourself, others and your environment? What are you doing to change all of that? To go from point A to point B? Discovery, your personal legend. Growing, building, mindset, developing, evolving your surroundings, that which you're connected to. You're in a circle, you're out of circle, finding the gold as a team with your hunting party, as a team player. And how are you doing it? How do we do it? Awesome. Al. I've got this way that I'm seeing and thinking. These are the goals from point A to point B. These are the connections to that around me, my family. This is what I'm starting to discover with myself, with my family. We found what we want. This is what we want to achieve and do. To go point A to point B. How do we do it? You fucking do it. You pick up the shovel and you dig. And when you do that, I promise you, through actions, you don't even have to think about the repercussions if they're done. Out of a love and leadership role, in expanding, growing who you are, your byproduct, without you even trying because you're doing it first and leading through action. Showing, not telling is having that ripple effect and influencing those around you. The end. I hope you enjoyed this episode and got a lot out of it. Like I said, if you need to go through, listen again. But it's very crystal clear on how to influence others. And then when it comes to influencing yourself, very simple. The exact same process that I went through with you almost as a third person looking in from above on what you should be asking yourself. So if I'm going to quickly do this on myself, point one. I am the explorer, the compass, my hunting party and my binoculars. How am I seeing myself? What does the current version of Al look like? And how does he think and feel towards a future version that expands into who he wants to become? Who's around me? What does that look like? How do they attach to me? How do I feel about them? How do I think about my coaches, about my clients? In rdm, you don't just come and sign up automatically. You want to come into my inner circle, mate? No way. If you want to come into this world, there are definitely some prerequisites. There's a lot of chaos and a lot of instability out there. I don't want that entering my world. Yes, we turn our clients great. They may not start great. But the point is, there are key components to coming into our internal framework, our inner circle in our world. To be immersed and become part of a phenomenal environment that will best any championship sporting team you'll ever see. And the environment. How am I seeing my world? Am I getting out in nature? Am I spending time creating space for myself? How am I seeing everything? How am I seeing the demands on the world rules Regulations, Covid, all these different things. I'm not afraid of any of that sort of stuff. I'm not living out of fear. I refuse to. No way. No chance. Awesome. Point 2. L. What am I doing? What am I actually doing? All right. Discovery. My personal legend growth mindset. Awesome. I've just designed my very own high performance father journal. It's got key points. Every fucking day. I know exactly what I need to do. What's my one thing that I need to do from which everything else becomes easier or not necessary, and it becomes successful in moving me forward for that day. My power list. P3. What are the other key things that I need to do? So I'll save the performance journal for another episode. And when we have it mass produced, we'll absolutely have a specific edition available for the general pop. It'll be a phenomenal addition, just with some slight tweaks and obviously different types of QR codes because you won't have access to the inside, but you'll definitely get a phenomenal resource in that. That's how I'm growing accountability to myself. With intention, with action and then reflection on what I'm actually spending my time and effort on. Surroundings, connection. Well, I'm immersing the rest of my team in this, my coaching team. They all have a high performance father journal. Some of our dads have it as well. And we're starting to roll that across there as a point of accountability and building a stronger connection, contributing. Being a team player. I am building the foundations and then documenting that and then building my team on how to execute it properly and better than I can. As well as showcasing that with point three, Picking up the shovel and digging. I show my daily plans. I show my weekly plans. My temples, my goals, my tav, my targets. Action and version. I show that to the members. Transparency, right? Gotta practice what you preach. When I have that, I don't care if you like me or not. You can't deny a level of respect that you have for me. Fucking putting my hand up and heading into the unknown and leading my life. You can have that too. There's no reason why you can't. When we remove and eliminate the stories, it's absolutely possible. This is worlds away from what I was two years ago, 12 months ago. Worlds away. More chaos, more stress, more demands, more kids, more pressure in certain ways than ever before, yet with less time. I'm doing more than I've ever done before. With bigger impact and better results. With less time. The 80 hour weeks are gone. I don't do them anymore. I've earned my fucking stripes. But I was smart about it too. I learned ways to make sure that I don't ever do that again. That's important as well, personally and professionally. Influence. The only way to live is to be conscious and aware and use this amazing power. It's an amazing power that you can have and channel inside of yourself, inside of others. To plant that seed. I mean, that's another analogy we could have used planting the seed and the gardener coming out, trimming the bush, getting the tree growing, getting the sunlight, getting the watering. There's a nurturing process involved here, mate. When it comes to not just your children, but yourself as well. You might have spent a decade, 15 years, putting yourself and burying yourself into the pit. So it might take a bit of time to unfuck yourself, but it's possible. It absolutely is. Hope you enjoyed this episode and got a lot out of it. If you ever want to get a diagram or get a little bit more insight and scope into how this works and how you can actually properly influence yourself and your family and you want something physical and tangible, alexdalemovement.com, i'll show you what it means, how to lay it all out. If not, take some notes. Listen to this again, take some notes, write down key points, have a look at what that looks like for you, and start asking questions, quality questions, and changing your perspectives. And with those P's and Q's in those three sections, mate, you can't lose. I promise you that. Join us again soon for another episode. Cheers.