94. 1st Man To Join RDM

Foreign.

How are you, mate?

Yeah, good, man, good.

Thanks for traveling, Chris. We got a special guest today. Welcome to another Real Dad Movement podcast. Chris has flown in all the way from Wales to this special.

Been in quarantine for two weeks.

That's right. It's been. It's been awesome, the journey we've had together. And I've been wanting to get you on for a while, mate. But yeah, as we both know, life, life can get in the way. But it's great to have you here today.

Yeah, thanks, man. Yeah, it's awesome to be here. I've been wanting to get on myself, but yeah, been flat out, as you know.

Absolutely. In your time, since I've known you, Chris, you. Well, just for you guys listening or watching this on YouTube or in our podcast, known Chris for just over four years. We're just chatting about that earlier you just had the second one. And in this time you were a member of gym I used to own.

Yeah.

Where we trained together there, as well as traveling all around the country. How long did you travel around the country for?

We decided that when I joined the gym, we were. I think it was about. Oh, it was around the October time I joined and. Oh, it would have been. Yeah, about 14 months we traveled for. So it was. I think I was with the gym about six months. Yeah. So it would have been later in the next year. Sorry. Because we ended up going into December. So. Yeah, we did 14 months or 16 months on the road was amazing. Darcy would have been just, just. Just on one. Yeah, he's born in the October. So, yeah, it was certainly life. Life changing, man.

Pretty unreal, man. Like, it's. It's cases like Chris's that we'll obviously dive into today where there's so much change and so much has happened. But the one thing that is always constant that I find in life, mate, is the opportunities to improve ourselves. Like, the one constant in life is change. But if we can change on our terms for the better, then we can continually handle the adversities we face. You traveled around the country, you started your own business, you've had lots of ups and downs, as we all had in. In 2020 with uncertainty. You had another child. So you've got three now and you're settled back in. Is it around Newcastle or that area?

Yeah, up in Alibarna there. Yeah, yeah.

You know, so back. Not too far from me now, mate, which is great. So we can do this in person. But what a journey. The last few years, not just in rdm, but in Your life. But I guess I'd love to start with yourself, Chris, in sharing a bit of your background, what led to you joining the gym. But I think more importantly, especially for the dads listening in a specific way, what led to reaching out and being the actual. I forgot crazy Chris is the actual first member ever of RDM as well. There we go. I knew this was special. I knew there was something special here, mate. You actually. Absolutely. We've had interviews with the other fellas, numbers three through to, well, 10 or 12. Our original crew was 28 in the first intake. But number two, number two, unreal, man. Talk to us, mate, share a bit about your background and yourself and we'll take it from there.

Well, obviously I grew up in Wales. Different experience to Sam. It was living in, living in the Welsh Valleys was. It could be pretty tough on times, but it was great as well. There's a lot, like a lot of good times there. And I had an opportunity to travel, to come over to Australia. It was always a life goal and ambition of mine to come and dive the Barrier Reef, which I did probably in my early 20s with a couple of minutes, like did a 20 day trip or something. It was a bit of a crazy trip. Australia's always been something that's been part that. I've always loved Australia for some reason, as a Welsh lad growing up in Wales, who knows why I still go for Wales in rugby.

By the way, they got us, didn't they, last time?

And then this opportunity came up to move to Australia with work and yeah, at first I heard about someone else doing it. I said, oh, I'd love to do that, but yeah, I've got two houses and blah, blah. And I'm like. I drove home from work that afternoon, I was like, what are you thinking, mate, you're 26. Like this is like, you haven't got a wife, you haven't got kids, you haven't got these major commitments, you can go do it. And yeah, literally, I think I sent my CV to the fella the Saturday morning before going to play footy and an interview on the phone on the Monday and within three months I was on the plane. So yeah, it was good and it's pretty life changing. And in that time I met my wife and you know, we, we got together and did the usual thing. We bought house and did the Renault and then decided to start family. And that brought us up to. Probably around the time when I joined the gym with Alex, we'd already made the decision that we were going to Sell the house at the end of the year. We'd been there about seven years, I think, and wrap up and go and travel Australia. The mindset at that point was I was working big hours. We weren't seeing enough of each other, but Brooke was working as well. We weren't seeing enough of the kids and I didn't want to spend all my time at work. So we're like, right, sell the house, put the money to one side. We had a travel budget that we could live off when we got under a certain amount. We both worked and got. Spend so much time with the kids and wife quickly learned that you get to know each other pretty well and you're like, you need to leave and go for a walk before you really get. It's pretty funny because you could. You could just sort of sense the other person getting under pressure. And it's not until you're in that situation with each other 24, seven, you don't realize you don't spend that much time together in normal life. So yeah, it's. You learn. You either really like them or you really don't. Pretty much.

It's important too in human beings, though. It's part of our makeup where we actually want. Not dependence, but we want independence. And then we also want that social or tribal feel. I was just researching about this. It's very interesting, mate. It's part of our DNA where we want that connection, but then we also want the ability to be independent and have our own time, which is important. So I could imagine that whilst I'm envious and I can't wait till I get the opportunity because I will do the same like you did. Travel around the country. Yeah. It's something that probably opens up your eyes, I'd say for sure.

Oh, massively, massively, massively. Like we. We took us six weeks to what we said at our groove and by that point we had a weird. You do it to get away from the normal routine and whatever. But we'd set a routine then and the routine was important to us. Like we. On the. Every, every, every second day we'd alternate. So Brooke would go, go for a run one day and I go running the next day. But I meant then the other person was doing the routine with the kids, do the morning breakfast and all the stuff. So you're getting away from that mundane thing. And we were pretty fluid in a lot of other ways. Like we never planned where we were going. We'd do the research the night before. If we go there and we're like there we'd stay if we didn't, we'd hook up and go. If we go. We went places for lunch and we ended up staying three nights. Do you know what I mean? So you've got to have that flexibility in that circumstance. But you also need some sort of routine there for both of you, I.

Think, especially with the kids. And I remember you saying Das is full of energy. Like, he's demanding.

Boy, he wasn't walking when we left, so that made life a bit easier at the start. But yeah, he's very energetic. He's probably getting to a point now where, yeah, he's still got heaps of energy, but he's in a real good place at the moment where he can make a decision for himself and you can hold him up and say, mate, if you do that, this could happen. If you do that, oh, this could happen. And he'll like, oh, yeah. So I can see that's the wrong thing and that's the right thing. But we're really working on working that angle with him a lot and we're getting there slowly. But yeah, he's a good kid, man. He's very loving and kind and caring, but he is very energetic and crazy and doesn't realize what he's doing sometimes doesn't think he's through. I'm not sure who he is. I'm not thinking it through.

An Australian thing or a Welsh thing.

I think it could be a bit of Welsh.

What's the culture like in, in Wales compared to here? Like, what was that like for you just before we, we obviously continue on with the journey? Yeah, I'm interested to know in terms of values, even parenting communities, work ethic struggles or everything, mate.

Yes, look, it is different. It's definitely different. Like. Growing up in the Welsh Valleys, come from villages, mining villages. They're very hard, hard working people. It's probably a little bit of, what's the term you use here? Tall Poppy syndrome there where every person will work hard. If you were on the, on the bones of your ass, they will help you and they'll be like, they're so giving and so forthcoming with stuff like that. But if people start to rise up, there's probably an element of the tall poppy syndrome where they don't see that as. It's not as acceptable. You probably get more acceptance if you're on the bones of your ass, do you know what I mean? Which is crazy.

That sound really good.

So there is that element of it and there is a little bit like now I'M away from Wales and Australia's home essentially for me. We go back and see my family every, every couple of years. My wife and I. My wife's an Aussie, we've had discussions on it. And there is an element of looking at the negative side as well. I gotta be honest and I gotta be honest myself, I was a very negative man in many respects growing up and what have you. But yeah, more of a negative than a positive mindset for sure, which I've worked on a lot. But I mean the, the culture is, the culture is good though. Like the culture's. I don't know how to exactly put it into words, but there's, it's almost like team. There's a lot of team and community spirit if you like where yeah, everyone looks out for each other, everyone helps each other and yeah, there is that element of things for sure.

Yeah. And that's an important thing. But it's interesting though, isn't it? When you look at the community aspect but then you look at maybe not tribe but having inner circles or groups or networks which. Australia is exactly the same, man. Whether it's a tall poppy or, or a slight towards negativity, it just seems to be a part of a lot of people's everyday lives where there's. Okay, there's no saber tooth chasing us anymore. Why are we always looking on the air of survival by adopting the worst case scenarios every day. Like I get it, when there's risks or decisions or opportunities, you need to weigh up the pros and cons. Just like you mentioned with Darcy. But a lot of the time, mate, the common thread for people is not even with decision making process through their natural train of thought. Negative emotions coming through. I did a coaching session on this the other day and it's a natural state, funnily enough, if we're not actively engaged, goal orientated and aware of our consciousness in the now, which then can create the subconscious recording. The subconscious recording takes over and it's always that element of, yeah, you know, yeah, slightly negative. Which I've, I've had mate, from my, you know, my, my dad, brothers, people close to me as well. Training. When you're around for a long, when you're around it though for a long time, when you see the other side. Like what, Obviously you've been exposed to with, with how I operate in rdm. Yeah. What, what led to you, you came back and then you trained in the gym for a period of time again, didn't you? Is that right? When you came back From Australia. Did you rejoin the gym or did we. You're part of rdm.

I didn't end up rejoining the gym. When I came back, you just stayed with. I stayed with rdm, but I did come and train a couple of times.

Yeah.

I was talking to you and you're like, oh yeah, just come in man. Because you've just like. We came back because we found out we were pregnant with Mabel off our travels and you're like, oh yeah, just duck in. And I was like, oh, I don't know whether I'll join or not. You're like, mate, you're living in a shed at the back. You, your in laws work out what you're doing with your life first and, and then let's talk gym membership. And I was like, yeah, yeah, right off. And obviously I was still involved in the group. And then we, when we bought the house in Alibana, I basically looked at the workload I had and whether I had time to come to that gym or could I just go to the gym around the corner and still follow train size apps and I just joined Anytime Fitness. Basically that was the outcome there. Yeah, yeah, that's how that worked.

What led you, what, what led to you joining RDM or reaching out? I mean you're our first member. Which was, which is awesome, mate. And it's as you know and you can explain it's. It's grown a lot. But yeah. What led to you reaching out and looking to join that instead of traveling, doing home body weight workouts and coming back and joining a gym?

Basically we. I've been reading like a lot of self help books and like trying to. I was looking for something. I didn't know what I was looking for. I wanted to grow, expand and get better and do better things. And I think a lot of the driver there was. Life changes when you have kids and your perspective totally changes and you start to see a lot of the things you're doing, the wrong things you're doing in a different light. You're like, oh, this is. I shouldn't be doing this, should be doing that. This is a better example for my kids. This is a better. Do you know what I mean? And I was like, I was reading a lot of that stuff, like loads of books and I was on Facebook and whatnot, same as everyone else. And then I seen, I know you'd reached out once or twice while I was traveling. Just said how you going mate? More obvious. I knew he was genuine. And then I seen you changed your profile thing to founder of RDM or something. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. And then a couple of weeks later, I seen it again. I was like, I wonder what that is. And then I just shot you a message on messenger and said, oh, what's rdm, mate? And you're like, oh, you got time for a call again? He was pretty straight up forward. Give me a call. I'm like, yeah, right, awesome. We set up a call and yeah, we got straight into it. And I was like, whoa, I wasn't expecting this. And then I remember a call because I was expecting like a chat. So I had the kids, the kids at the pool. I was watching the kids and then we were on chat and then someone coming to fix something in the caravan because that broke. And so I was literally on the phone to you trying to wrangle three or two kids at the time. And I was like, yeah, this is hectic because Brooke was at work and we went through the call. I think I had to cut the call and then ring you back. And then I did that later on. And yeah, that was it. Like, once you said, I think it was a 28 day challenge. We did in the beginning, we went through that. And yeah, that was. That was definitely. That got me like, that hooked me straight away because it was like, right, this is good. This is awesome. This is changing a lot of the way. I think it's making me look at, not just diet and exercises, make me look at a lot, the whole aspect of my life and start to think about all of them things. And yeah, I remember we did the 28 day challenge that was all done and dusted. And then the email came out. And I remember sitting. We were. By this time we'd moved the caravan. We were out Alice Springs way somewhere. I remember the kids were in the pool and sat talking to Brooke and I was explaining like the email had come up. And I'm like, yeah, I think I'm gonna join this rda, mate. And she's like, well, I'll tell you now, that's not in our travel budget. And I went, yeah, I know that. She's like, I'm just gonna leave it at that. It's not enough travel budget. And I was like, right, oh, so should we go any further? And she's like, I'll be annoyed if you go against, not against if you do, because we haven't budgeted for this. And I'm like, okay. So I joined. It was like that, oh, look at that. That aspect with Darcy.

That's Right.

When he does the wrong thing, I'm.

Like, oh, well, don't think, just do it.

Yeah. Who's your father?

Yeah.

But, yeah, so, yeah, I joined man and that was it. Didn't look back pleased that they did did it did like it was. It was great. But it did sort of stop a few things that we were already doing, which. So I can understand where Brooke was coming from. A bit like it. Like I stopped drinking as much and what have you. And that was like something that we used to have a drink together most afternoons once a kid. Kids were in bed and whatever and like, that was the journey we were on at the time. We were meant to be having this long all day. And I changed everyone's diet in the caravan, so the food budget went up a little bit. But, you know, we got it and I think she sees that I was pretty committed to it and I followed it through.

So, yeah, there's a lot of value, mate, to. To making commitments and then finding the way if you know something's. And make credit to you. Because under that type of pressure, not just from the wife, but from weighing everything up as we do as men, wearing all the different hats and having responsibility in life over more than just ourselves, we. We too often find ourselves looking at what the safer option is in general. A lot of a lot do. So credit to you, mate, for not just having the balls to pull the trigger, but to be resourceful enough to make it work. And it is hard. I can see that shift where there's a cultural understanding, say with your wife having a few drinks of the afternoon. That's what you do. That's your time. That's a trigger and a habit which creates the perception of bonding. And you save money here, but you spend more there with food, nutrition and obviously your investment in rdm. It's something that I find and I'm similar to you, mate. I'll commit if it's aligned with me and my gut says yes, I'll commit and then I'll find a way. And I don't know. Don't know if that's the right or the wrong way. It's certainly gotten me out of trouble. It's given me elements of stress in life for sure, but it's gotten me out of a lot of trouble where I look back now and I'm like, yeah, actually, if I had just stuck to what was the appropriate measure and decision based off other people's opinions or something else. Again, this has nothing to do with my wife either, or yours or Anyone else. But if I didn't stick to what I felt was right, I wouldn't be happy or fulfilled. I'd still have the gym. I'd probably still have the gym, be incredibly unhappy. RDM wouldn't be anywhere near what it is today because when it comes down to something that's important, you're invested in it. You've got to go all in. You can't not, mate, whether it's your children, your work or your own body, all in. For me right now, with my own body doesn't mean being the elite athlete. All in means being smart with my night routine and my sleep because the kids been calculating on when I will exercise. So all in as different factors. It's not about just 100% intensity either. But man, pretty, pretty amazing. Like, I guess on the flip side, what if you didn't sign up? Like, what do you think would happen? And probably is going through a lot of fathers who are looking to push work success, obviously try and be there for family, try and be the husband and wife, try and keep their own identity. I don't know, mate. Like you tell me from a personal level and your perspective for other dads out there who are isolated and alone, what is the alternative if they don't do something where they've got the right systems and tools and coaching in place to keep them on the path and keep moving forward?

Yeah, I reckon I'd still be reading books, waiting, hoping for the right time to action something in the books. And that's probably the big thing.

You.

Often put all these other things before yourself and like your kids or like everyone, everyone has the viewpoint. Like, you've got to make sacrifice when you have kids. Yeah, your life changes, but you aren't going to sacrifice yourself because that's the worst thing you can do. It's the old analogy, what they tell you in the airplanes, put your oxygen mask on first because you can't help anyone else unless you look after yourself pretty much. Do you know what I mean? And that's what it was sort of heading there. I reckon there was. I had an awareness that I needed to change something.

What?

How? I didn't really know. And if you're in that element, man, you need to take some sort of action. And if it can start by, start walking every day and that'll help your body, your mind and everything else. Just do that. Like if it's one thing you can do, give yourself 30 minutes a day to do some walk, like walking two or three months down the line, your life will start to change because you'll start doing other things, I can assure you. And it's important, man, for not just for yourself. It's important for your kids. Yeah, like, let's be honest. They are the most important thing in my life by far, my kids. And yeah, like, the importance of what I do is for them, so they see it. Do you know what I mean?

So, yeah, yeah, I agree, man. My kids mean everything to me and I would do anything for them, which means I want to be the man in myself who can do that. And that's where, Bill, it's two sides of the same coin, you know? Like, it's not. Like I said, I'm trying to be an elite athlete and train six days a week. Maybe some fathers can do that. Good for them. But then what are they letting down in other areas? Probably in business, in work, probably in relationships. Like, there is a juggling act. Balance is hard to establish in concrete of one, it's definition and two, feasibility in life. But life is a balancing act. And for me, I know if I've got the most energy, I'm looking at myself walking mentally, physically, sound. Absolutely. I can perform in life, which means being the best I can be for my children. That's a huge thing, mate. Like you said. I like the airplane analogy. It's so true. Put your own oxygen mask on first. We quickly forget it. We just eat shit and sacrifice and give and give. And you'll see families once the kids are grown up, as soon as they move out, bang. Parents divorce, that's it. We stay together. For the children, it's like, well, you didn't even create a continual connection of who you are individually and who you are as a married couple. And you see these patterns and it's not that it's a right or wrong, it's just a choice, mate. If you stay on your own, isolated, what will change? You're keeping your own company.

Exactly.

Yeah. It's fascinating to see that. How much has RDM changed? Like, you've been with us since day dot, mate. What have you seen and noticed over the last few years?

It's changed massively. And it's exciting, man. Like, I reckon just this year, the change in RDM and you. This just since January, we just got into March, like, has been unbelievable. Like, the energy built through last year through a time where the rest of the country was pretty much flat because of COVID and whatnot, and people are all looking at that negative element. The energy in. In the group just went crazy and everyone Looked out for each other and what have you. But yeah, man, just this. Just since Christmas. This. Yeah, it's taken off and it's exciting. Like, really exciting. All the changes. It's. Yeah, I'm really enjoying it, man. I gotta be honest. It's good. Like the support network is the tribe, us, everything. The guys have all got each other's backs. You constantly. At the end of the day, it's like anything in life, there's no set or forget. I can see you're constantly looking at different avenues. Not just looking at different avenues to make it better, to grow it, to make it more user friendly to the guys so they can move, move forward and grow. And man, it's awesome. It's really good, man. Fair play.

It's. It's something that's exciting, mate. You know, even right now, like those who might be listening to this and not watching, obviously, I've got the high performance father, the championship journal. Chris has his copy and we've. We've got our habits and performance mindset. Coach.

Yeah.

Drew, who's actually with us in the office as well, working through his stuff. They can't see you, mate. Yeah, it's right. We'll save you for another episode. Yeah, that's right. It's incredible to see this. And it's not that I'm unsatisfied. I used to say that, you know, grateful, but unsatisfied. I'm like, well, hang on a minute. Unsatisfied is a negative term that is really a reflection of your actions. And it's like, no, I'm incredibly satisfied, incredibly happy with my life, where I'm at, what I've done. But hey, I've still got. I'm still living here, right? I'm still here. We've still got more time, so why wouldn't I do more? Why not? Why would you stop? You know, I've created. I've been in a constant state of creation. So why would you stop? You know, people say, why would you do something or why this or why that? Why not? You know, like. And for me, mate, you're right. I've changed massively. I feel like 2020 was a year of re establishing a strong foundation, being the beacon of light and, you know, not the holy man, some beacon of hope for people, being the beacon of light to go, hey, this is the pathway. We'll keep lighting it, keep doing it. We've got your back and that's what we did in idm. There are ups and downs like there is with everyone. But it set the stage for ultimately what I feel like in the first two months of this year has equal the level of growth that all of 2020 gave me in a different way because we've got the foundation and we're building and we're building different assets, really, to the man and what he needs. The journal just being another one of them and not some pissy journal where it's just a bland, vanilla approach from habits or mindset coaches who aren't even fathers and there's plenty of them around. It's actually specifically done for dads. It's exciting, man. But how does this help you in your life, though, Chris? Like, I like sharing your journey and the other fathers have been on this. Like, you've got three kids that are almost under five, just like mine. So we're almost mirroring each other with kids, young, family, stress, chaos, looking after our wives. Women go through incredibly challenging battles mentally, regardless of what support networks they have when they have kids. I believe every female and a lot of males go through some level of. I don't want to use the word depression, but it's a depressive state and a depressive feel of emotions. Definitely. Everyone does. You're a liar if you deny that, Myself included, when Stella was born. So how does this help you? Like, how do we serve you? I know you love rdm, you live and breathe it, you're a member for life, but how does this. How has this and how does this serve you with yourself, your family, your relationships, your work, your kids?

I think you like. I've always been someone who's ambitious and driven and everything else, but this gives me direction and guidance, which is important to go with them aspects, because otherwise you drive. What are you driving at? Do you know what I mean? So it's helped me to actually just take a breath, have a look at where I'm at, have a look at where I want to get to step out, how it works together, what I've got to do together. Look at the important parts. And I'll use a simple. Like a simple analogy. I went to my boss at work the other week. I sat down and I went off. I know we got this massive project that we might get next year. I want to be project manager. I want to get to that level. I know I need to work on a few areas. Can you tell me what I need to work on together? But I've also backed that up with action when I've started a project management diploma, which I've been managing projects and working in projects. For 10 years. But I'm like, right, let's get a qualification to my name as well and show action to other people that I'm serious about this. I'm not like this. This is what I want to do. This is where I'm going. So I'm going to get this diploma done and dusted as well before the end of the year. And I sat down with Brooke about it and we had a good conversation and I went, right. She's like, yeah, Ronald, if you want to do it, do it when you're going to do it, when you're gonna have time. It's like there's never ever gonna be a good time. We've got three kids. I'm just gonna have to make time. Simple said. So, you know, I'll be getting up on a train three times a week now. The days of untrail, I'll be getting up at 4 as well. I'll be studying simple as that. And she's like, right, right. So RDM helps me in my having more awareness, having more vision and actually having the tools to sit down and, and strategize things and change things and plan things and. Because life does change all the time. Definitely. And it's chaos all of the time. There's days where there's good days where things just go. Got planned and, you know, everything goes swimmingly. The kids listen, like, everything's awesome. It's all fluffy and good. And that's probably 10% life.

Yeah.

And the other 90% of the time it's chaos. But it's good like, you know, it's good chaos. So you just gotta be prepared for that and that's good. Like I'm. RDM helps with. Even when there's chaos, you're still moving forward and you still, you still know where you're going. If you're on a really down day, you can jump in the group now, chat with the boys. You soon get lifted back up. Do you know what I mean? There's all these different elements and aspects that help move you forward and we're all going through similar things or a lot. Like some of the dads that are a bit older have been through a lot these things as well. You can draw on their knowledge. So it's good.

Yeah, yeah. Appreciate that share as well, man. I couldn't agree more. Like everything I've been diving into from the start of this year, which is why we're accelerating so much, is power of focus and the outcome of habits. And the outcome of habits is using the power of focus. What's the most important thing to create systems? That's the order of how you do things. That's important. You can have the greatest intentions and plans, Chris, but if you do them in the wrong order, that can fuck you up. Like all of us, whether it's your kids or your work, it's got to be done in the right order. It's got to have the right mental approach. That's behavior, your behavior. How you mentally turn up to what is that you're going to do the right patterns, which is how often and frequently you execute, which becomes autonomy, your habits. So when I'm looking at my life and how it's increasingly become difficult over the last six weeks with kids multiple times in hospital and building new programs and, and evolving our program and creating this journal, it's a case of pulling together, focusing on the most important thing and building a system around that, and then creating a habit out of that. This HPF journal is something I planned for, probably a proper journal for four years. And through that power alone, I almost from scratch, obviously I have a lot of notes and I've got the other books that I've done and the courses, and we've got a shitload of content from you guys that's helped us learn. I created that in a week and a half. Like when you go through, and like I said, a lot of you, you might see a snip of me showing it off on Facebook and whatnot. But when you go through that book, man, it's pretty fucking comprehensive. Week and a half, people have no idea. Getting the margins lined up, getting the spacing right, getting the type of words, the font, like creating the flow, the reviews, the types of questions you need to ask, the way that you score yourself. Having QR codes in like there's a fuckload in there, man. But having direction and focus is very important. Otherwise you just end up pissing in the wind. And it's becomes a dangerous path because you lose not only who you are, because you find you're drifting, but who you also want to be.

Yeah, definitely.

For your family and yourself. It's awesome that you. You're making time to do what you want. It's. It's called Einstein time. People, People say I don't have time or I need to. You know, it's going to take too much time or I don't. Don't have the amount of time I can do it today, or that's going to take too long or it's too hard. It's like it's all, you know, like you. It's almost like time is some sort of big master. Just driving this slave train and whipping us doesn't work that way. You know, like, I can, I can. Like yourself, I can do a course and wake up at 4am every single day and not train three days a week. And I'll be more on top of the course. But what's the cause and effect? That's all it is. That's all it comes down to. You don't have to spend any time with your kids and your wife and you can do your entire diploma and work through that, but what's going to be the reaction or the chain reaction that comes from that? So there's always time. And that's something that you will notice that we've done lately with checking your phone, your screen time, where you're actually spending it, going through even some of our old podcasts, sedation and distraction, technology, drugs and alcohol, all of that. People don't realize, mate. And I'm very aware and I think, I don't know if you saw one of my charge ups when I compared one of our Sunday charge up sessions. I compared middle of January to middle of February. Went from five and a half hours a day to two and a half. Like it's 20 hours a week and I got my shit together. Imagine those who don't, but they whinge. They don't have time.

I never miss charge up but always, always up. Watching on Monday on the way to work. Well, don't watch it because I'm driving.

Listen, police officers listening to this, Chris's addresses. Yeah, it's fascinating to see that even when you get. And again, it's nothing against your wife blind anyone's wives, children or bosses or employees. It's always interesting when you get resistance on your inner circle, how that can influence you and then you still find a way to make it happen. There'll be times where my wife will be like, I should. You've been working really hard. You should relax. I'm like, why? I feel amazing. I'm training three, four days a week. I'm creating space. I've got my night rider, I'm going to bed. I'm not looking at technology or phones late at night. I'm waking up the right way. And I always have this. Not to go on about this, but when we're looking at environment and helping us lift our standards, that's what RDM is about. You said the support of the other dads. You down. They Lift you up. We lift, we continuously lift. I'm inspired and I'm accountable to the group but I always think about it when I'm at the shops because I look like, I walk really fast and sometimes I think to myself I wonder if these people look at me and be like what's, what's the rush? Or this bike said you're in a hurry or you're in a race. I'm like that's just my standard. Don't compare your sprint to my standard. It's just normal. And it's like well if I've got long legs I'm about as. Yeah we're about to say how tall are you? About 6 3-6462. Yeah, yeah it's you got the legs mate and you've got somewhere to go and you've got the muscles to carry it. Why Dawnle?

It's funny because I, I'm always like and I'm just like get in, get out. I don't like the supermarket so I'm running through the aisles as well.

Yeah, yeah it's. I got plenty of time to cruise, you know I'll go out for a walk or maybe hit the beach this afternoon I've got walking and reading in my plan key my power list to do's for myself. I've already trained early this morning at 5am mate I've got plenty of time. I'd rather spend that time to dawdle and be relaxed with nature and completely still than in a shopping centre.

Yeah definitely it's more relaxed in a shopping centre.

What's the. You talk about direction and focus. It's been awesome having you on mate. I hope you've enjoyed it and I guess as we slowly start to wind this up focus and direction very important but what are the biggest. Whether it's a belief, breaking limiting belief physically, mentally understanding, environment, influence. I don't know mate like you share with us what's been the biggest breakthrough or revelation. Maybe it is direction folks. What's been the biggest thing that you've gotten from RDM so far over the last few years in your journey?

I think it's a change in perspective to be honest with you it's changed my outlook in so many different avenues of my life that I used to be, yeah I used to be driven and what have you but with that came a level of pig headedness Now I can be driven and utilize that energy at the right times but with the right purpose if you know what I mean so I've got a wider Perspective has opened my eyes a bit to go, hang on, you don't just need to do that because that's going to piss this person off and that person off. But you, yeah, you need to do that, but with a bit more love, affection. Okay? Do you know what I mean? I know I'm less reactive to situations then as well. So it's just changed me in a big way. I believe, like everyone else, I have my bad days and then I have my good days. But yeah, overall I'm moving forward and moving up. So, yeah, it's massively changed my perspective on life, on learning, on all of it.

To be honest, at a fundamental level, nothing separates us, man. And any of you guys who aren't part of RDM, listening to this or watching this on YouTube, nothing separates us. Yet at a fundamental level, when I say perception creates reality, it creates, it's the truth. Or it can create reality if you allow it, if you adopt the ones that serve you. There's plenty of bad perceptions, right? Or perspectives, which is almost certainly the same word or was when I looked it up in the dictionary. But when we're looking at the way that you see things, it's such a powerful thing, Chris, because from there, if you are actively engaged, what I spoke about earlier, conscious awareness, right from the top down, you've got bottoms up, which is your subconscious in parts of the brain and that becomes autonomy in life, which is great. If you're actively engaged, goal orientated, driven and focused towards expanding, then you create that type of autonomy in your life. So if you're actively engaged in your perspectives, how you see things, you've got the one thing that every human being craves, which is a higher level of control, which creates a higher level of certainty which every human being craves. There are plenty of unknowns, but uncertainty is what kills people, which is a lack of action, a lack of focus and a lack of vision. It's actually on the birth certificate. I went from a personal coach when Lillian was born, I told Crin, perception coach. And then when Roman was born, I told her to put down Legacy coach. Just a shit stir, it's on his birth certificate. She's like, are you serious? Like, yes, put it on there. Because a few years ago when Lillian was born, that was the big breakthrough I had. It was always there, but I was like, man, if we can change the way we see the lens in how you see things, then everything else can trickle on. And I always think of a chicken and egg when I talk about state, the state that you're in, which is in the back of these books, with books and with music, what you're reading, what you listen to. But then I'm like, what comes first? State or perspective? State or perspective? And I'm like, well, if you're actively engaged in having control over the way you see things, your perceptions, when subconsciously something happens, you go out to get in your car and someone nearly drives up the back of you, or someone cuts you off. When you immediately enter states that are part of your instinctive nature, you have the active ability to seek control straight away. And whatever your reactions are, dissolve them to then respond. That's a powerful thing, mate, because if you have that, then you'll have a better state, which means you'll make better choices, which means you'll take better actions off those choices, which means you'll have better experiences, which means you'll be a better leader, which means you'll have a more fulfilling life with more meaning and reward, which means he'll be a better father and husband, like, at all. Can you see the flow on effect, mate?

So knock on effect. Yeah, for sure. It's a small domino, innit?

Does, really does. What will be your advice, mate? If there's a father listening to this and you know, he's in a place where, yeah, he's got too much stress and chaos in his life, he needs to get his shit together. He needs to become the man that he knows he can be for his family. He needs to look after his own health, get his energy back, even rewind his body clock. You're in amazing shape, mate, and you've done really well, given since you started. We've got before and after photos and all that, but the whole hog, the holistic approach, like you said. What would be your advice to him if he needs to get his shit together and he's struggling at the moment?

Yeah. Well, obviously join idm.

This wasn't a plug, by the way. No, but thank you, mate.

Like, essentially you just need to. We call it creating space inside rdm. But you need to take some time for yourself. And the best way I find is short walks, like a walk in nature or what have you, or just go and sit and listen to the beach. If you don't feel. If you don't feel like walking, go and sit on the beach and listen to the waves and create some time out for yourself from the chaos and get some clarity. Because as soon as you've got time and everything's calmed down, you've got a bit of clarity on the little things you can change to move yourself forward. Write them down and action them. Because action is the thing, is the key. You've got to start taking action. You can't just sit there feeling sorry for yourself. So that's essentially what I would advise. And that's the big thing. The big thing within this group that's done every day is everyone takes action every day. And the boys will be honest, when they feel down, they feel down. And we've got the beauty of the group. We jump in. Oh, someone's going for, oh, all right. I'll get my shoes on and go through. I don't feel like it, but I'm going. And once you've done, it's like, you know yourself when you play 40, when I played 40, how many times you turn up the train, you're like, I just don't really want to train today at the, like, middle of winter, like training. Training in Wales, man. It was like. Like that. The ground was like frozen solid. It'd be like minus two. It's like, yeah, I could sit in the lounge and watch tv or I could go rugby trim. I don't really want to go, but I'll be at work. And you go, yeah. And you'd have your best training session you ever had. Because once you're out the door, you're going to enjoy it. That's where the sessions you turn up on. You're like, at one point, you probably put too much pressure on yourself, but the ones you're like, oh, I can't be bothered. Once you get in, you do it, you feel amazing. Just take the action.

Great advice, man. Realign with yourself by creating space so you can be still and get clarity. Then take action off the back of that on who you want to be. I love it. And I couldn't agree more, too, with the performance side of things. It's a book that I was reading. The studies that show that Olympics are the perfect example, right? Four years pressure cooker. Game on. It's a game of millimeters or milliseconds, depending on the event. And those who fumbled, even in interviews, their thought process has changed from what they've worked so hard to condition automatically in a positive way, to midway through actually thinking this is the power of habit and creating the perspective in an active engagement environment, so that when you're faced with 90% of your life, which is autonomous, you already know what to do. You just do it.

Yeah.

And then there was an interview with one of the girl, I can't remember her name and she. She was killing it. And then would have hit a world record, hit the last hurdle, finished seventh. She thought about. She had a. She thought about her hip and felt she needed to. This is during a running race, like, felt she needed to open up her hip more and. And wasn't. Wasn't reaching as far as she could on each hurdle. There's a feeling shed around the sixth hurdle. So come the ninth bang, calibrations are out. You have to think about it, which you think about all the moving parts. Our mind right now can focus on one thing runs at 40 megabits per second. Our subconscious. 40,000. So instead of her body doing the talking and the work and the action, she. It obviously it didn't even get a medal.

She's multitasking.

Yeah. Females, guys, let the females have multitasking. It's a scam. Doesn't work. It'll never work. What you're actually doing is transitioning in rapid transitions from one thing to the next one thing. So people will disguise it as multitasking, but it's actually one of the biggest killers of progress and performance in life. Mate, great advice. Awesome having you on, brother.

Thanks, man. Thanks for having me.

It's been a great chat to, I guess, bring together the last few years where a lot of things have changed in our lives, both of our lives, and to continue on the journey together, man, is. Is awesome. It's what I love. It's humbling. It's what brings purpose to my life. My environment's important too. And when it's filled with legends like yourself. I love it, man. I love what I do.

Thank you, man.

It's worth it. So big. Big 2021 ahead, mate, where we continue to rise and keep moving forward.

Thanks for having us and thanks for making a difference, man, for all of us. Appreciate it.

Yeah, pleasure, mate. It's. I say it, man. It's the change the world needs and it's. It does not go lightly with the words that I speak and how I feel about that, mate. That's for sure. Our event was awesome too, wasn't it? Oh, incredible. Good, man.

The energy was unreal.

Yeah.

Buzzing for weeks after it. So good.

Very unique. Very unique what we have here, Chris. And it's not just me, it's the entire crew that makes it, including the coaches.

The big man there in the corner was. You could. You could tell. Tell his love and commitment to it all with his tears on top of them all. It was amazing.

Yes. Oh, Drew. Yeah. Our mindset coach. That's why we're giving. That's why we're giving coaches a wrap to wrap up this podcast. Because he's here.

That's it.

We'll do a triple next time.

We'll get.

Get Drew and someone else on Chew the fat. Thanks again, mate. It was awesome having you. Hope you guys enjoy this and got a lot out of it. Make sure you tune in for more episodes. Coming episodes, we're going to be talking about black magic, how to use your words properly instead of self sabotaging and ultimately the worth of self worth. Too often we deflect compliments and self sabotage through not allowing and not holding and creating space inside of our lives to ultimately acknowledge and celebrate. Yeah, you get up at 4:30, Chris. That's celebration. You go to the gym, that's celebration. You hit your sets, your reps. They're wins, man, they're wins. It's not a case of the old golfers technique where it's like, oh, you got that shot in. Oh, about time. I got one in. Even a blind squirrel gets an acorn. Like, you hear just weird fucking sayings, man. On the golfing course. That does not make any sense to me. One, maybe because I'm Australian, but two, because they're basically nullifying any. Any progress or any achievement they've made. And it's like, all right, here's the positive. Let's bring a negative in and bring that back to zero. What a fucking nightmare to live that way.

It's not good.

Thanks again, mate. Hope you guys enjoyed this. And tune in for more episodes soon on Real Dad Movement.

Thanks, buddy.

Cheers.