96. Revolving Door Of Decision

Foreign. Podcast. This is your host, Al. In today's episode titled Revolving Door of Decisions, we are talking about exactly that. The revolving door in your life, like the gateway, so to speak, of what you allow in, what you keep in, what you push out. And ultimately, how to. To put it, I guess not politely unfuck yourself. Because what we're looking at here is the challenging moments where you will receive compliments and you'll have people praise you for either changes in your body, your health, the choices you make, the achievements you make, the actions you take, yet you discard them so quickly and you push it straight back out. Almost like with the revolving door of a hotel. You are the hotel. Make that choice. Are you a fucking one star hotel or a five star, or a seven star, if that still exists. Might be a bit wanky. But look, this is the point. You will get compliments and then just like a revolving door, you'll push that shit straight back out. Not allow that guest to hold place in your house and let them keep you company. Yet when it comes to criticism, you keep that shit in. This. This is a. It's an interesting one, this one. It I guess expands off the back of the last one where we're talking about black magic, the words you speak. And a lot of the times when I'm talking about self sabotage, I'm actually talking about what you're doing to yourself. But here's the kicker. Self sabotage is also what you allow others to do to you. Which is why I had a great chat with Drew, our mindset and performance coach, and we're discussing the term and the word manipulation. And I guess my argument, or my viewpoint was. And we both saw relatively eye to eye on this, my viewpoint was, well, I mean, shit, man, yeah, I mean, manipulation initially exists, but how long can that last for? Like, if I'm manipulating you for 20 years, is that not your fucking fault? Because you haven't taken ownership and built an awareness around obviously something that isn't serving you to be the best version. You can be sure. Everyone can have a hidden agenda. Absolutely. People can manipulate, they can twist, they can, they can coerce your feelings, your emotions, all sorts of. But at the end of the day, I don't know, man, like, how much is. Does manipulation actually even exist after a period of time? Or is the onus on the person who has a level of weakness internally because they haven't developed or worked on themselves? In the modern world, you know, I understand way back when, but in the modern world, when you have access to an Unbelievable amount of resources to change your mindset to then take action with. I don't know, like, is, are you self sabotaging? Are you allowing this? Is it like my nonna? The old wogs, you know, being half Italian, throw your hands up in the air when your body falls apart and you turn to pieces and just say, oh, well, I did it all for the family. Cooking and cleaning and worrying and, and hassling and. Well, yeah, no you didn't. You did it for yourself. And the family was the vessel for you to either A, kick back and have excuses and why you didn't get your own together. Oh, and I, look, I love my nonna. This was just an example of, of European culture or B, you know, ultimately you got fulfillment and reward from feeling like some sort of not servant, but someone who provides and protects for their family. I get that, man. I mean, you're listening to this right now, right? Like, chances are very high that there's a big period of your life where you felt like you've been in the grind and you might be right now in the hustle and bustle and there's fog and cloudiness around your life. It's a haze in who you are, your identity, because you sacrifice and sacrifice and give and provide for the family and get nice things for the wife and the kids and you put a roof over their head and you give them food and money and all this sort of stuff that, yeah, it matters. The end of the day doesn't matter when you're falling to pieces like that should not come at the cost or expense of you. And it was interesting having a chat with a fellow in another dad support group where I say, another dad support group. I'm part of a few, but I'm certainly not saying another relative to rdm, we are not a support group. We are a leadership performance group creating high performance fathers. But you know, when we were having this discussion of a group I was part of was talking about a guy who writes books, Stephen Biddoff, a lot of parenting books. Great, great guy. Good stuff. He's got some good stuff. I definitely disagree with one of his points. Only because of the perspective around vulnerable and volatile fathers in when they read a certain element of his raising girls book, which I'm reading, having two daughters or I've read, where it says, I don't know whether to whisper this or to shout this in your ear. You are not the most important person for the next 20 years. And I'm like, well, fuck, mate. I get that because I'm Strong internally. My stories, my life, my views and beliefs, my goals, my priorities, of course, have changed from an elite athlet athlete in his twenties to now father building an empire in his thirties with his family. Of course, that's a given for me, but without context or building off the back of it the right way. So many fathers who are already patterned with the seed and the expectation they need to give and give and provide and fuck themselves, whatever it takes for family are going to read that and they're going to reinforce it. Yeah, that's right. I'm not important. I shouldn't come first ever. And it's like, fuck, mate, that's a dangerous place to go. But my point in this and what I'm sharing is ultimately, when I'm talking about the revolving door of decisions, it's exactly the same as my last podcast episode about black magic in what you choose and allow inside of your life. Yes, influence. 100% influence will always exist. I am influencing you right now. Now for me, with someone who's got nothing but a blank canvas of who you are, even if I never even meet you, my blank canvas of who you are. And my agenda for you is, I want dads to fucking win. Because I know when we bring the needle back, and it's not about masculinity versus femininity, we all have both. When we bring the needle back for you, being a fucking man in your house and in your life, the right way for yourself and your family. And you lead how you should, your wife will lead how she should. You have that homeostasis, that balance, that equilibrium inside of your life, your household, your fulfillment, the significance that you have in the meaning. Because what you're intrinsically in touch with or in tune with or aware of, which is dialed into, regardless of your arguments, hundreds of thousands of years or millions of years of Homo sapiens or whatever you want to describe it in. You know what the latest science shows, it's there. It's deep ingrained in you, man. Like, it's been there a long time. Even 10,000 years, it's been there a long time. This is the chaos of the modern world. When people and celebrities and other people talk about masculinity and they try and make it toxic, which is fucking bullshit. And the rise of extremities of femin, all about equality of opportunity, 100% equality of outcome. Well, that's relative to you. Like the world should always remain as a capitalist, more often than not. Type of structure where, you know what if you put in you Add more value, add more service, you solve more problems. Why shouldn't you be rewarded? Yes, we probably need a better quality casting net for the social status of how we can support those who cannot benefit. Who are we who do have significant issues and challenges? Genetically experiential with what they go through, traumatic with what they go through? 100%. But what I'm talking about here for you, listening to this right now is you have, if you're listening to this right now, man, you have the power, you have the ability. You certainly have the perspective. If you're listening to the stuff I've been putting out and you've been following us, you have a perspective of understanding the value of growth, taking ownership and leadership. Like I say all the time, Spider Man's Uncle Ben got it wrong. Well, you got the order wrong anyway. With great power comes great responsibility. No, no, no. With great responsibility comes great power. Take some fucking responsibility in your life. Which means when you accept compliments, you accept them properly. This is the revolving door of decisions. What I'm talking about with a revolving door is you are the big hotel. You define the actions inside of your house. And when I say your house, I'm talking about you inside. Who you are, your belief systems, your identity, how you carry yourself. You control whether you are cleaning and looking after your cleansing. The bullshit accepting the greatness to either become a three, four or five star hotel when people walk in and when I say people, what I'm using is them as a metaphor for energy. When energy walks into your hotel, into your life, into your internal frame, you must decide how you handle that. The concierge, the service desk, all of that sort of stuff. How you keeping, what rooms are they? Penthouse. Like what's their order of chain of command? Am I on the penthouse suite in terms of your mind? Am I up the fucking top? Am I one of the big dogs in your wheelhouse that's helping you shift and mold and create the reality that you want? You know, this is something where you decide where you want to place people, places and things, which again is all forms of energy inside of your house, your hotel. Are you a three star? Are you a one star? Are you a five star? For example, you're out the golf course, about to tee off. Driver, bang, man. 250 meters straight in that, straight down, straight down on the fairway. Awesome shot, mates around you. Good shot, man. Good tee off, Al. That's awesome, mate. Well done, mate. You nut, you crushed that. To which immediately Al replies, oh, fucking hell. Last time I Couldn't even hit one straight. About time I get one. You know, and I've heard an American term coined, even a blind squirrel gets an acorn every now and then, which made me laugh, man, that made me crack up. But I get out there, I fumble a few. Ah, that'll be right. Yep. Good, good. Fairway drive. And then now I can't even get on the green in two. And I finally get on there. I'm about 20 meters away from the hole and then I sink this putt. It's amazing somehow. So I land with a par, you know. Should have got a birdie though. And well done. That was a massive putt though, Al. And it's like, well, yeah, well, fuck, it took me, took me three hits to get on the green. Can you see how when people and I understand shit, stirring and being a smart ass and being witty and trust me, I'm all there, I'm there for it. But when you've got that genuine complimentary nature on the back of who you are, your actions, your perceptions, your views, your opinions, your beliefs, everything, when you cop or when you receive or when you are influenced by someone giving you that positive affirmation, that reinforcement, and you straightaway fucking nullify that, man, and put it to bed. Get rid of it. Cast it away. Don't even let it sit. Don't even swirl it around in your mouth like a nice glass of wine or whatever it is that you enjoy a drop of. Not that I drink alcohol, mate. You are killing yourself. You are building and rebuilding your subconscious mind to have a belief system that you don't even know about that says that you are not worthy. That's exactly what you're doing. And don't tell me that it isn't. Whether you want to call it Law of Attraction or the energies of the universe, whatever it is, this is your basal ganglia. A big fucking golf ball, funnily enough, ball sized part of your brain that is taking notes. Imagine that you're watching a movie and then there's a three minute review of that movie. And what was it, what it was about? You're reading a book and at the end of each chapter there's a short review of three or four bullet points of the most important things. That that's your subconscious, man. That's your basal ganglia. That is banking. That is banking. It is taking on board exactly what you're actively engaged with in your words, your thoughts, your beliefs and actions, how you carry yourself, how you express yourself. That is getting a review, a run Sheet, a summary doesn't get it all. So as soon as you talk yourself out of that shit, when you hit that massive putt and there's a little part of you goes, fuck, that was a pretty good putt, but it's immediately fucking smothered with eight or ten little voices and versions inside of you, smothering and killing yourself to not allow you to be worthy of actually having the skills to execute and nail a 20 meter putt and go, man, that was a good putt actually. I know I muffed a few of those chip ons, but geez, man, I fucking nail that putt. Your basal ganglia, like the autonomous part of you that's not riding down and having this little battle and it's. No, no, no, that, that's just, that's just gets the low hanging fruit. All right, what's predominantly more active here? Okay, well, you know, he's got this 20% of positivity, but 80% of how he's carried himself in the last seven minutes on a hole one was actually quite negative. And these are the points. It's banking it, it's making notes, it is then re recording subconscious. This is my point, mate. Before you even know it, one year, three year, 15 years down the track. Whether you've turned into someone who's cynical, pessimistic, or you're just downright fucked in life, regardless of whether you can perform in business, make money, put food on the table, who you are, how you carry yourself, and literally the energy that you put out in the world, A is lackluster, B is so far away from what you can possibly have and achieve, and C is something that you are not even aware of. You just believe that's life. Why don't you take a minute or so and just think about what I've been saying so far in this episode. And it's the truth, man. Look, I don't care how much you weigh, but when people go around parading around, yeah, dad, Bonds are cool and reinforces. Or when you see a Bonds ad and there's a size fucking 26 lady in underwear saying, hey, just love your own body, I say, that's fucking bullshit. Right, you want to love your body, great, but don't shove that shit in my face saying that this is the new normal, don't you fucking put that on me. I'll create my own standards, thank you. Hard part is I'm very strong and I can set that tone instead of myself. Can you? Or are you being subconsciously influenced by yourself by Your family members. It's hard, man, sometimes. Your family members. So many times my wife has said, you're working really hard. You should take it easy, take a little break, relax. And I'm like, hang on a minute. I've been an elite athlete 15 years. I know what burnout looks like. I love what I do. This isn't work for me. This is service. This is my passion. This is what I provide. I'm fine. Thank you, honey. If I had taken all those points, we wouldn't be here right now doing this podcast. I'll tell you right now. That's nothing against my wife. It's people thinking or looking out or looking after you and thinking they're doing the best by you. Where ultimately the decision. And look, she had the greatest intentions. There's nothing wrong with what she said, but it must start and end with you always, mate. That's what I'm talking about with self sabotage. This is what I'm talking about with your revolving door. It's not easy. Tall Poppy syndrome absolutely exists. It is rife throughout Australia. 100%. Hard part is you're tall, popping yourself and you don't even know it. Harder part is you feel connected and accustomed to your environment, your tribe, your social circumstances with other people where when they tore poppy, you. You accept that as part of your culture, your rituals, part of your connection. That's fucking bullshit, man. Like, if I've had and I have had people in the past is why I probably wasn't overly popular in CrossFit. There were definitely clicks. I had a few people that I respected, but not many and not many that I connected with for that sole reason that ultimately I didn't buy into that sort of bullshit and I wouldn't let people try and tall Poppy me. And I stand tall and strong. That's led to a lot of conflict. I've had a lot of conflict in my life, but I will always fucking fight for what I believe in. And when that belief is one that's built on love and growth towards my destiny and legacy. You won't move me out of my way where I'm going. You won't move me out of the way. Like, this is what I am doing and you will not stop me. The hows. Yeah, of course that changes. I didn't wake up one day when I was 11 years old and say, I'm going to lead fathers all over the country. It didn't exist. You can create the version of who you want to become. This is like there's a neuroplasticity inside of your brain in not staying a customer, not staying stuck on a certain identity and who you are. That's a powerful thing. We'll go through that in some other episodes. This is the hard part though. You naturally feel through, even just something like loving yourself, like look in the mirror and say, I love myself. You will feel uncomfortable, you'll feel weird feelings. You'll be like, that doesn't feel right because of how you condition yourself. Feelings can be fleeting though, mate. You know deep down in your gut what I'm saying is true. If you're not 100%, you can't give your family 100%. That means you are more selfish if you're holding yourself back and not investing in yourself. It's. It's that simple. I'm not sure how far you went with maths. I'm great with numbers. Not that I ever did four unit maths in high school, but fuck, man, I'm telling you right now, that is, that is what it is. If you're giving your family 100%, but you yourself are operating at 40%, you're giving them 100, you're giving them 100 over 40, which is 40. Like you can only be as great as your highest denominator, which is your most common denominator, which is how you operate every single day. Some days are great, some days are tough. I get the same. No one's different. This is why it's hard. You can't look in the mirror and it's hard to do it. You know, we've worked very hard with our guys in RDM to have that self value. I am worthy. Give yourself permission. This is my time. It is my fucking life. Like there's going to be people who don't like me. I cop abuse every day on my ads. But that, that abuse that I cop is 1%. Like 99% of the times a thumbs up ticks. Yep. Great. Well done. Yeah, totally agree. Awesome work. Good job. Good for them. I'm not looking for that, for validation. I was painting a picture of you tying and associating yourself to the negative. And that's what we do. We crave negativity. It's in the news. The news is fucking bullshit. Don't ever watch the news or listen to it. It's such a scam. And look, I've got friends who are in the industry who are good hearted people and I know their heart is in the right place. What I'm talking about is the energy. The theme is so driven by fear, worry, doubt, uncertainty, you know? Yes, there's unknowns in life. You don't need to worry about that if it's part of, part of your scope of where you want to go. Beautiful. Turn the unknown into a known. Take action, find out, discover. If it isn't, forget it. Cast it off to the side, move on with life. So when we're looking at tying into the negativity all the time, the revolving door of decisions means when something comes your way, you look for the negative, you look for the bad angle. And one of my ads has like nearly, I don't know, 1500 or 2000 likes. It's got like 10 angries and it's got like, sorry, 10, 10 laughing faces and three angries. It's like, well, fuck man, that's not even 1%. It's like point one of a percent. Straight away it's like. And I used, I don't do it, I don't do it anymore. But I used to, yeah, a couple of years ago, I'd be like, who's this angry person? I click on their profile, what's your problem? Why? Like, I'd just be thinking, what's this guy's problem? And I'm like, hang on a minute, mate. You've got hundreds and hundreds of people who like your shit. Like, what's the problem? This is the issue you have when it comes to valuing yourself and giving yourself permission to take in a compliment the right way from yourself or from others and use that to enhance who you are and let them keep company inside of your hotel, to make it a five star hotel, make it brimming, brimming with positivity and optimism through actions that you take. This isn't fluff, man. This is what's going to rerecord your brain subconsciously 91% of the time in your life, which is autonomous, to go, this is who I am. Which will guide and steer and influence your active engagement of how you are right here and now in the present moment and what you choose. Just sit on that for a second. That's pretty powerful stuff, what I said just then. The autonomy that happens in your life is going to influence how you choose to see things and what you choose to do right here in the now, the present. Like right now. You're listening to me right now. You are in the present right now. You have an influence of your subconscious mind, of decades of experience in life and it changes. You can cut it away. There are parts of my subconscious that aren't there anymore. You rerecord. It's like a record. It's like those old tape recorders, the cassettes. Like, you will rerecord over that tape, you'll rerecord over that thin film, and you can create something else. It never has to be the same, mate. You need to understand this. Whether it's your relationships, your business, your work, your family, how you handle your children, how you value and see yourself, never has to be the same. Go through my old episodes. Look at some of the fathers, how they've changed. You know, you are a big sculpture, like Michelangelo's David. You're carving out. You're carving out. Yes, some of the clay might be there, but you can't even recognize it anymore because it's been resculpted to define who you are now. Again, yes, it's hard. You don't want to come across as a love. Oh. As arrogant, all that sort of stuff. But again, that's your perceptions of how you view and value other people's opinions of you to validate who you are. Like, isn't that laughable? You don't need that shit, man. Why would you need that? All that matters is how you see yourself. Yes, you can be influenced, but over time, you can choose how that influence influences you. I can get home today and my wife can say, you know, you're such a fucking slob out. You didn't put your clothes in the basket in the laundry. You left them on the floor. I can let that influence me and it can sit with me for weeks. It'll influence me right away. From which I'll reorganize myself, pull myself down and go, okay, let me. Let me have a look at this. What happened? Okay. That happened there. Yep. I say, yeah, I went to throw it. I was in a rush with the kids this morning, went to throw it and just land on the floor instead of the basket. You've just had an operation on your wrist. I understand that. Yeah. Totally apologize. I get it. I'll make a conscious effort to make sure all of my clothes go in there. The basket, from now on in the laundry. No worries. Thank you. Or I could sit on it. I can become bitter, resentful. I can let it influence me the wrong way. Or I can take ownership over what I'm going to do again. That was a very fast, short example. She's never said those words, but, you know. And she's never complained about that. When I've been hit and miss in trying to be Michael Jordan down the hallway, sinking three Pointers on the buzzer. Throwing close into the basket. It's just a game. It always has been for me, I guess. But this is what you can do, though. Fuck, Al, that's a great tee off, man. I reckon that'd be at least 250 meters. It's straight down the fairway. You'll be able to chip on from there. Yeah, that was an awesome shot, wasn't it, mate? That actually surprised me a little bit too. You know, it's something where I really enjoy when I can nail it. I'd love to maybe do some more driving range stuff or even get a couple lessons so I can be better, but I. Yeah, I'm over the moon with that shot. That was awesome. Can you see what that was? It's almost like someone comes in, they go through the revolving door, they come to the service desk. Hey. Ow. Well done, mate. That was fucking tops. And what I'll do, you know that it may not. It might be something very small, insignificant, so they don't need to stay in my hotel, but it'll be a case of, hey, just sit down, let's sit down. Let's. Yeah, let's. Let's chew the fat a little bit. Yeah, Brilliant. Now, I appreciate that, appreciate what you said. Thank you. Yeah. Hey, look, this is what we've got planned for. Thank you for giving us feedback on the hotel. This is what we've got planned for. We've actually got some upgrades coming and I'm looking at doing that to make it even nicer. But, mate, I really appreciate that. That's something that we definitely, we definitely love and I definitely want to get better at. So thank you. Can you see what I've done there? You're not taking on board going, yeah, I'm the fucking king of the castle now. I'm better than all of you. To your mates, you're accepting and acknowledging. It's. It's the triple A method. You're aware. Accepting and acknowledging the compliment, what's come into your frame to influence you. And then if it's something that is not the pinnacle, because we know perfection doesn't exist, it's not the pinnacle. You can then build on that and then reinforce the awareness, acknowledgement and the acceptance of that positive energy, that way of being, that identity, to then build that and go, yeah, that's. You know, I'm very satisfied with that. And you know what? It'd be awesome if I could hit them consistently. And maybe I should get some lessons because I really enjoy playing golf and it's it's frustrating when I want to turn up and I can't perform, but ultimately, you know, it's like an art. You just need to keep doing it the right way. So I might actually get some lessons because that felt awesome and I'd love to get that feeling a little bit more. So it's not a set and forget. It's taking the compliment and then it's building on that to say, yeah, I love that, and wouldn't it be awesome to be even better? Because that's what life is about, continually improving ourselves. I'm telling you, man, when you do that, it's not that you're unsatisfied, but when you do that, you have that level of satisfaction and gratitude towards life, your actions, what you've done, when you've nailed it, but you've also got that perception, that lens to see beyond and go, how cool was that? Wouldn't it be awesome? If I could. If I could nail that a bit more, I reckon that'd be a great challenge. I'm up for it. Let's do it. Even the words I'm speaking to you today in this session, mate. Can you. Can you see there's a different shift in the last couple of minutes with the energy and the frequency when I'm. When I'm reinforcing a line of growth, it's something that happens. It's crazy, man. Like, it happens at a cellular level. Like, your cells are either growing or dying. There is no the same. They're either expanding or contracting. Every cell in your body has its own form of consciousness. Bruce Lipton, phenomenal book, biology of Belief. Like, he's all over it, you know, he. I reckon he spearheaded stem cell technology back in. Back in the 19th century, sorry, 1900s, 20th century. Like, he's a gun at that sort of stuff. And yes, there are receptors through proteins, not your genes. Your genetics don't play as much of a role as you think. It's the proteins, hundreds of thousands of proteins in your body and how it receives the signals. So the perception of the environment and stimulus it's exposed to and how it adjusts accordingly, built off the back of the patterning through your nervous system and through the cellular makeup. This is fascinating, man. When you do this, I'm telling you, you will move forward. You'll continue to enhance who you are. If I had started with RDM the way I did, and we got results, and I just sat on those results, said, all right, well, all right, cool. It works. Now fucking rinse and repeat you would not. It would have folded. It would have caved in. No way would it have survived and thrived. We wouldn't be here today. No way would have died in 2018. This is the value of seeing the light, seeing the great stuff, seeing the greatness inside of it. It's not about silver lining. It's not trying to just get a needle out of a haystack. It's not looking at trauma in life and going, I've just. I have to find something positive. Real shit happens. Hard stuff happens. Shit will hit the fan in your life. Tough things will happen for you, for your family, for your wife, for your children. For all of us. It happens to all of us. You know, I'm not saying you need to be Mr. Positivity and Chant with pom poms in the air. What I'm saying is, when it comes to your revolving door of decisions, when you're getting compliments, take it in, review it, accept it, right? Be aware, accept it, acknowledge it. And then really, in a time of reflection, look at how you can keep building. Because isn't that a great thing that you want to keep reinforcing? I mean, that makes sense, doesn't it? Like, if you really love golf and let's say you play every week or every two weeks and you hit one good fairway drive every three months and you really enjoy the game, isn't that something you thought or you think might be worth. Maybe you should get lessons once a fortnight for the next three months. I pay someone 80 bucks an hour, and, you know, for 500 bucks, over the course of that, I've got an amazing drive for the rest of my life. If I wanted to hold that new standard, you know, like, it doesn't make sense to think any other way, mate. It really doesn't for me. Like, you're investing in yourself constantly, with your body, with your health, with your choices, with your achievements. I used to be like that with my car. People like, oh, that's a fucking awesome car. You got a wild track. Looks sick with all the RDM gear on it and all the signage. And I used to be like, oh, yeah, but me mate owns Ford, you know, So I got a great deal. He looked after the price. And, yeah, we got more kids on the way, so we couldn't just drive the Lancer anymore. And fuck that. Like, I fucking love that car. I worked hard to get that car, and I enjoy it. I enjoy the safety features for my family. I enjoy driving and I enjoy that. It's a great car. For signage, to spread our message and brand. I park at the front of my office all the time. You know, this is something that is a part of me and I enjoy it. And I'm satisfied with having that vehicle for myself. To spread the message and brand, to travel around with my family, to throw things in the back if I want to go for a drive or an adventure. It's a beautiful machine that I enjoy. What's wrong with that? Is it the car that I'll have forever? No, it's not. Can you see my point here again, as we start to wrap up this session, when someone feeds you compliments, don't just get that door spinning around and throw that shit straight back out. Let it sit for a while. Let her sit in the foyer, let her stay for a couple of days, couple of nights, jump up in the penthouse. You can chill out here for a few weeks. Let me really build on this. Let me take in some more reviews, reflections. Let me build and make this hotel even better. Like this is your life, man. Don't ever forget that. You choose and accept what you want and allow. On the flip side, and I didn't want to spend much time on this for a specific reason because we shouldn't spend time on this. But on the flip side, when someone criticizes you, you should throw that shit straight out right away. Like, I'll always accept feedback from those who are aligned and tied into something of importance where I know that we can review and build on that feedback, constructive criticism, whatever you want to call it. I'll take that. Like my wife gives it to me, I'll take it. If it's someone I value, respect and know 100%. What is something that doesn't serve you, there's no point or purpose. There's nothing you can build off on. It's pure statements, not even questions. Okay, our RDM's going great. High performance, Father. What an amazing program. Yeah. How come you haven't done this yet? Like if it's a question that is thought provoking or building, as opposed to just a statement that's castrating who you are and your actions, yeah, sure, sit with it, run with it for a while. But when that criticism comes into the hotel, get the security, get them together, roughhouse them and fuck em off right away. Get outside. That's the revolving door man. They shouldn't even enter the foyer. You should see him. You should have your security at the front and go, eh, nah, let's just do a quick check. Nah, no thanks. Off you go. This is Like, I like using the analogy. Or, you know, not the analogy, but like, I guess. I guess so. You know, I like using the, the construct of a hotel because you can see it with me, can't you? You can visualize. It's like imagine you got your big fucking security guards, the big boys, and they are, you know, one's called fucking optimism, One's called leadership. You've got fucking five or six of them, you know, one's called true power, one's called the circles of significance in rdm. Family, self and service. And these big boys, they got your back, right? When any shit comes in and they want to throw a few vases and break some shit inside of your hotel. No, no, you don't even get in, mate. Like, here's our revolving door. Let's throw you straight back out. You may not even get through the door. That's how you need to be, man. When it's criticism that doesn't come from a place with your best interest at heart without a purpose, fuck it off. Like, I love my mother and father and they don't criticize me, but even though they are my mother and father, if they did criticize me, without a point or purpose, with nothing to build off, I would fuck that off right away. I go, yeah, thank you. Nah, nah, that doesn't work for me. Sorry, I don't know. What's your point? People think I'm cold sometimes. I'm not. I'm just direct. I live an eggshell free life. You should as well. It's not that I'm not empathetic. I'm loving, caring. I listen to people vent. I listen to people dump. Absolutely. I sound bored. You know, I'm there for you. I'm there to absorb. I'm there to take the hits. Absolutely. I'm willing to be the front man at times and take the hits with you or for you, 100%. But ultimately, 95% of the time, because time is very valuable and Precious, it's probably 99%. To be fair. I need to be in a specific frame, frame of mind and have the right reasons to sit down and do what I just mentioned. Then 99% of time, yes, I am direct. Okay, cool. What's your point? Awesome. No worries. Yep. One of the guys said, oh, mate, everything you said in your ads is amazing. Like it says, I agree with 100%, but you speak too fast. You know, what are you, a car salesman or something? To which it's like, well, I don't even know who this man is. Personally, no offense to him, I obviously can't remember his name or anything, but I don't give a fuck. But I just wrote back, if you can't keep up, move on, mate. It's that simple. I know there are times you've listened to me probably for a while now. I know there are times where we ebb and flow. I'm on the ball. Pace fast. You need to keep up. Sometimes you need to journal, write down, jot down some bullet points from this. Sometimes you need to replay certain parts of this episode. Other episodes, I get it, man. Other times, I'll kick back, we'll go slow. We'll savor the moment a little bit, think about it, reflect during this episode, during this session. Both are necessary, man. Both work. You need to build that skill set. I'm not talking about rushing or racing. I present well. I've got great charisma. I've done thousands of videos. Like, it's just something that when I'm building and developing and then delivering mindset pieces, levels of influence for you, there is a certain flow and a rhythm, and a lot of the times it's a powerful rhythm that you can lift yourself up to, and there's a rhythm that I'll slow down to. My point is this wrapping up this session. When it comes to you and your life and the revolving door of decisions, you are deciding who you let in, who you don't. This guy looks a little bit shady. Maybe he's a nice guy. Just let him in, guys. He'll be right. He comes in. Yeah, he looks all right. All right, well, let's put him on. We'll put him on the fifth floor. We won't put him on the 10th floor. But now he doesn't need to be on the bottom floor. He's been quite friendly and whatnot. But then you own a few days later and the entire apartment's been torn to. Yeah, spray paint everywhere. Shit's broken. Tv, smashed sheets, everything pulled up like, it's like, whoa. What? What happened here? Well, let's just peel it back a little bit, mate. Your gut always wins. Listen to your gut instincts. Your gut will always win. Just like me. Someone isn't the right fit for the tribe, I kick them out. It's no disrespect, you know, there's no other agenda. The tribe comes first. Our culture, our environment is phenomenal, and I will keep it that way. And we will make it even better. And I will protect that to the death. I don't care who it is. And yes, it may affect an individual member. And yes, there's some. Someone who's upset. I guess it's a compliment, right? Like. Like when I remove someone from our program and they get very angry. It's probably a compliment of obviously what we have to offer and what we. What we help fathers achieve. And obviously that they're not aligning, not standing up or taking ownership, taking action, not going all in. No worries. It's okay. It's not a right or wrong. You go that way and we'll go this way. Tribe comes first, always. That's something I've built in. So if we're looking at the revolving door. Yeah, well, you know what? I've got a hotel that's Al's life. I've got a hotel that's rdm, but I've got a hotel that's also my family. Family, self and service, mate. One of the greatest principles that you'll ever be part of, if you choose to adopt it. You couple that with your spine. The spine of rdm, the spine of hpf. Being a high performance father, which is high courage, long commitment. You will have certainty in life. You will be a leader in life and you will win. But you won't ever do that if you castrate all the compliments with your own bullshit and negativity and the little voice inside and thinking you're not worthy. You are. Give yourself permission. You are worthy. Value yourself. Let's look at the flip side. Where's the other side going to get you in life? Just keep cutting away all the bullshit and become a bitter, resentful old man where it's everyone else's fault. You've never done anything right. You'll be actually working. When people are victims, funnily enough, they're actually most hardest on themselves. And that's sad. It really is. So imagine people who are abusing and pushing out and giving it, giving, giving it. They're actually even harder on themselves inside. You may never see it, I may never see it. And they will fall apart one day on their own. Maybe in a nursing home, maybe not. But that is the truth. Don't be that. That's a choice. Like compound interest, that little micro 1% right now, today, that you build over the next 15 years will become that bullshit version. And you won't even know why or how. Not today. If you're listening to this, you now know. Go through the other podcasts, dive in and take action. That's the biggest thing out of all this. I hope this serves you well. I hope you've gotten a lot of value. It's been a solid session. I've really enjoyed it. I really have, because it helps me reinforce what's important with the revolving door of decisions. Yes, take in the great stuff, analyze, review, and really say, yeah, that's awesome. Like I give yourself a pat on the back. Celebrate. Celebrate often, but most importantly, celebrate because you took action and cast away the bullshit with your big security guards at the front and don't let that stuff come into your life. Take care. Hope you enjoyed this episode. Let's keep moving forward. Have an amazing day night, weekday weekend. Whenever you listen to this and I'll catch you for another episode soon, cheer.