97. The Road To Legacy, Brick By Brick

I'm just looking at my, looking at my face on the screen, man. Doesn't matter how much you try, if you wake up at 4am, you have puffy eyes.

That's what I was like. I was like, you wanna, you wanna wait a couple more hours because, like, you know, I got one more office to hit and then I gotta head home. So I was like, it's, it's fine if you got to go later, but, you know, get the day started, right?

Yeah, yeah, that's it, man. Now he's gonna charge me up for the day. I'm excited to have you on, Jeff. And there's not many. And then just for those, we'll actually start with that. It's a great intro, mate. Talking about my puffy eyes and being up at 4am there's very few people that I get up for at 4am, Jeff. Probably even my kids, mate. When they wake up, I just yell at them to come into the bedroom. They can sleep with mum. But that shows how much you mean to me, mate, because it's something that. It's actually really interesting, Jeff. And I'm excited with this episode, man, because there's a lot of fathers who follow that movement and follow my journey and story. I'm not the only father who's a high performance father looking to create more in life. I absolutely consider your high performance father, Jeff, in where you've come from, what you're doing, how resilient you are from some of the stuff which we'll dive into in today's session. But it's really interesting and just for those who don't know, Jeff is a games athlete and it's not easy to go to the CrossFit Games. It certainly isn't. And he's competed in multiple regional events, dominated other large events outside of the scope of the CrossFit Games setup and, you know, had multiple businesses. Currently has that in himself right now. And it's just a. It's a phenomenal story. But I think it's really interesting, Jeff, that we don't know the impact influence we have on people. You had a big influence on me, man. Like when I. When I dived into CrossFit and being strong around that 245 pounds, 6 foot 6 foot 4 or just about, and making my first CrossFit regional in 2013, I was like, game on. I need to be serious now. I've got my own CrossFit gym. This is something that's an important part for me in this stage of my life, which has Obviously changed since fatherhood, but we'll talk about that. And when I jumped on board with CJ Martin at CrossFit Invictus, regardless of all the other athletes, you always stand out because I could always relate to you. You're incredibly strong, powerful, fit, great work ethic, you know, and there was just an air about you that I was drawn into, Mate, which is really interesting. I know we've had a few engagements here and there, and I've always wanted to get you on for a show, but it's. Before we start, I want you to know that Mate, like you, actually, a lot of the times when I saw. When I didn't want to do the program, even though I highly respect CJ and it was a great program that got me good results in regionals in 2014 and 15. Man, it was always exciting seeing your scores, your numbers, or even your videos and what you've done. I'm like, man, this guy's a fucking beast.

He really is.

Thank you for joining us, man, and giving us the time.

Yeah, man, I appreciate you having me.

I'm excited to share your story. Like I said, man, and you're based out of Florida, but I guess I'd love to start with yourself. When we're diving into your story, Jeff, there's a few key points we're going to touch on for you guys. Listening to this or watching this on YouTube. Talking about resilience, overcoming adversity, what fatherhood means, how that molds the man he can continue to expand in through health and wellbeing and continually rising. There are lots of different parts of this, but I'd love to start with yourself, Jeff, and just an intro, man, to who you are, where you've come from, even your upbringing. And, you know, we'll slowly peel the layers back and dive into what will be an awesome session, Mate, in sharing your story.

Cool. Cool. Yeah. So I guess I'll start right in the very beginning. So. And I talk about this all the time. So, like, for me, I'm comfortable because I want people to understand. Like, they see, you know, they see me at the CrossFit Games or Regionals or whatever and see me lifting heavy weights. But they don't know, like, a lot of the backstory. So when I was five years old, I was molested twice by our babysitters. Two. Two. They were teenage girls. Two separate times. So, you know, when you're young, you really don't understand that, but it happened. And, you know, I've had some issues with relationships because of that. And you know, constantly working through it. When I was 13, because my parents got divorced and they were immature. They were young kids, basically 18, 19 years old, 20 years old. And having kids at that age, when you're in the area I grew up in, like, it's a lot of chaos, you know, living kind of the street life and stuff like that. But when I was 13, I tried to commit suicide. And luckily my stepdad walked in the bathroom and stop me from doing what I was going to do. And you know, from that point, I don't know what it was inside of me. It just something clicked. And that's when like, athletics became like therapy for me. Like, I started working out and, and sports. I was naturally gifted with sports. So that kind of just. That was my, like I said, my therapy and where everything just took off. So going towards high school, I played, I ran track, played football my senior year. I was the best receiver in the area. Ended up earning a scholarship playing college football at South Illinois. Graduate. I played all four years, graduated and 2011 and 2012 is when I found CrossFit. From there it was almost, I think it was seven years straight. I competed until 2000 or no, six years. 2018 was my last event, like we was talking about earlier at Granite Games. But, you know, a lot of ups and downs, you know, when, when I made the CrossFit games and I look back now and it was a good thing. All of this stuff happened because of all the stuff I know now and I'm aware of, but when I made the CrossFit games, a lot of opportunities kept coming my way and I would just say yes to everything. And that's when, when you don't have a solid foundation for really emotionally communication business, like your business savviness and like, things like that, everything falls apart. And that's what happened in 2016. I ended up basically, like I telling you earlier, I lost everything after I strained my pack at the 2017 regionals. And that was basic my, basically my last attempt to make the gains because, you know, most of these games athletes are, are broke just trying to train to make it and you know, get sponsorship money and, and win to be able to sustain their, their lifestyle, to keep, keep going. Because that's all I knew. Like I was saying I was. I'm. I'm an athlete from middle school on, but I end up losing the gym and my partner, they end up buying me out for, you know, pennies on a dollar. I had a $50,000 loan from my mentor and you know, Walked away with barely anything. So I lost all that money and moved to Melbourne, Florida. One of my buddies had a business, he gave me a job. You know, it was just a reset and you know, things start getting better and better. 2018, the, you know, story I was telling you earlier is, was 10 months of no CrossFit, just Olympic weightlifting. And I decided to get back into CrossFit, see how it went. And I trained three months to get ready for Granite Games and end up placing third overall. They had, you know, the perfect events for me and my body type and you know, being experienced in, in the sport, like it helps knowing strategy. So like the last day I was in seventh place and I think it was five events and I knew exactly what place I, I could get and I end up getting every one of those spots, which was insane to get third place. So yeah, from that, that was basically the last run at CrossFit in November 20th. Yeah, November 2018. And I've been retired ever since. And I have a one and a half year old now. Well, I even go before that. So the company I work for, the owner, my buddy, I was living with him and you know, handling the business, running the entire back end. And the financial part of it, he wasn't managing the right way. The business ended up falling apart. And the little bit I did have left, I lost all that. And at that time my fiance, she was pregnant, I think she was three or four months pregnant. So in my mind I have no money, no job, have nowhere to live. I don't know anybody in Melbourne, Florida. So it was like I'm in the middle of nowhere now. I have a kid on the way, my first child. And the way I grew up is that was normal for people to live like that, you know, government assistance, paycheck to paycheck, zero credit, like that was normal. And for me that's not acceptable because I bust my ass to get, you know, go be the first to go to college out of all my brothers and sisters, you know, play on full scholarship. I've been to the CrossFit Games. Like all this stuff I've done, like this can't be the end of, of my run. And I went six weeks, I. And we end up moving in with her brother and you know, this small room, a 10 by 10 room, she's pregnant, can't work. I had no job for six weeks. And you know, I just, you know, I remember crying myself to sleep a lot and just because I didn't know what to do, I didn't like I said I didn't know anybody. And fortunately, I ended up finding a security job. Never done security, but I told him I did just because I needed a job. And, you know, I'm a big guy. I can handle myself. So I got got with that, started doing that four days a week, working at nights, and found another connection where doing roofing. I never done roofing. I told him I could. I figured it out along the way. And so I was doing that for about three months straight. And like I was telling you earlier, like, I was living on energy drinks. So, like, I'll be working 10, 11 hours on the roof, and then we're in Florida. So roofs are like 100 to 120 degrees, and all we're doing is lugging up clay tiles. They're 50 to 60 pounds each for that entire time. So doing that, and then I end up getting a break with landing the job at Enterprise Rental Car. So I was working all three jobs because I needed something corporate and stable and making, you know, better money. So I was working all three jobs, and because of the way I think, like, I want to figure things out as quick as possible, and I ended up being the top in the top three in sales. First two months of being at Enterprise, which the company I work for now, pharmaceutical company, they took notice in that and reached out to me. So I end up, you know, doing an interview process and stuff like that and landing that job. But I would say for people out there that are going through that struggle for me to go six weeks without working and, you know, ever since I graduated college, I've always had a job and always, like, my value was just putting in hard work and, you know, getting a paycheck to not have that six, have any work for six weeks, like, that hit my soul, like. Like my ego. I had no pride. Like, I just felt worthless. And I was just. While I was working at three jobs, like, I remember just looking up at the sky and just saying thank you, because, like, God or the universe, whoever you believe in, like, I, you know, I. I was just grateful to have an opportunity to work and provide for my family. And once I landed this job, like, I literally, I cried because the money you make in pharmaceuticals is. Is great money. And I've never made that type of money in my life at any point. And I'm coming from, like I said, three jobs, getting three to four hours of sleep seven days a week and living on energy drinks, eating canned chili for breaks. Like, you know, it was just a rough, rough lifestyle. But, like, I Said just having that gratitude. Like, I get a chance to work and something will come because this can't be the end of my run. And ever since then I've been, you know, doing the pharmaceutical thing and, you know, just working myself out of the hole. Like my credit is. I'm almost at a 700 credit score, which is, like I said, I've never had anything. Like I've been in the four hundreds my entire life. Coming out of college, they don't teach you any of this stuff, you know, where I'm from. And in college, same thing. Like you get credit cards in college, you run it up and then once it's done, it's done. You just, you know, that's what it is and that's how most of these guys, you know, live. But, you know, working, like I said, working myself out of the hole. I paid all my debts off. Like, I'm in the clear on that. And which leads me to where I'm at now. You know, I got a great job, but Serious Performance, my supplement company, that came off a random conversation during COVID lockdown last year. I think in like a month, month and a half, it'd be a full year that since that conversation. But it was just a random conversation about getting back in the cr. In the supplement world. One of my buddies, he used to be part of the supplement company. And I told him, I was like, you know, I want to do something different that's never been done, that's not out there for the CrossFit community. But that's the only way I'm gonna do it if I get into this. So I started doing research and came up with flow, the product I have now. And like I said, I made it for CrossFit. So CrossFit is like the. Is all about health and the sport is all about capacity. So I tell people like, this is CrossFit in the bottle because you get both. It's a daily supplement, but it's also a pre workout that you take for endurance and capacity. So, like, to revolutionize the supplement world in our field because I'm, you know, I'm passionate about it. I've done CrossFit forever and I wanted to bring value to people. And that's like my thing now is all about impact and providing that health and performance is one thing, but also like, you know, with my childhood, what I went through, the depression, abuse from my parents, mentally and physically. Kids shouldn't have to go through that. So, like every month we donate a percentage of our profits to kid Organizations that actually do good with the money and give kids a chance to have more awareness of what's out in the world and more possibility and just give them hope, know. So that's pretty much where I'm at, you know, kind of my story in a, you know, sped up version. But yeah, I would say, like, where I'm at now is I couldn't ask for anything more. And it's. And it's just getting started. That's what's crazy. Like, to see all that I went through over the last. Since 2000, and I would say 16 till now, like, it's. It's been insane. But, you know, that's. Those are the stories that. That inspire people to do more and be more. Like all that I went through and seen when I was a kid, like, it's my responsibility to make sure my daughter never sees that type of stuff. Like, I want to have her when I turn 50. I want to have her, you know, 50 years ahead of where I was when I was her age, you know, so that's why I'm working so hard. And then the generational impact on all the people that I can help along the way so they can teach their kids and their parents. Like, multi generational, like, that's what I'm all about now. So.

Yeah, that's incredible, man. No, and appreciate the. Yeah, the intro and sharing about your story made. There's some massive adversities you've had to overcome, Jeff. And I guess I'm curious as well, mate. Like, we. Do you believe athletics or health and wellness played a role in driving you? Like, what led to. When you're down and out or you're feeling like you're in the pit and having those moments of unemployment and whatnot and looking for some directional change, what do you feel? Is that spark or that driver that so many go the other way and they just accept it or they just fall down that helped you lift up? Was it having a sporting or athletic or competitive background? Was it something else? Like, what led to the change, man? Was it that you. You knew you were going to have a child as well, you know, becoming a father?

Yeah, I. I think that'd be the. That's the root of it all. Because, like, I grew up, my. Like, I've always been that workhorse. Like I said, I've never been without a job since I graduated college. Like middle school, high school is always work out, train, go to school and watching my parents. Like, my mom worked two, three jobs most of her entire life, you know, she's working one now, so it's a little better. But same with my dad, he's a barber, so he's, you know, 10, 12 hours standing on his feet cutting hair. So just seeing that hard work, that's just normal. That's just what you do. So when I hit that rock bottom spot, like, like I said earlier, like, I first to graduate and go to college, been to the CrossFit games, like doing all this stuff, like, I can't just let that be the end of my story. And, and for my daughter to see that type of lifestyle I grew up in, like, I, I, it will not happen. Like, I work my ass off because I want to, I want to give her more opportunity so that when I, like I said, when I, my pride and ego and everything left, like, it's just, I gotta find a job and work. That's the only thing I was focused on is, is the impact that's gonna have on her life if I don't step up and be the man who I know I am for her.

It's incredible, isn't it? I talk about this with the fathers who listen our podcast or watch our shows on YouTube. It's nothing brings up the mirror man, more than fatherhood. It's something that you, you're invested in something so much more with life that's a part of you, but it's outside of yourself, right? You know, like your daughter is part of you, but she's actually, she's her own thing. And it's. When I say brings up the mirror, it really highlights, mate. Like, it peels the layers back and it's, you know, we can't, we can't turn away from the truth, Jeff. And we can't sweep things under a rug or, you know, bury our head in the sand, whatever term you want to use a lot do. But the truth, the truth always wins, mate. It eventually comes out. But what, what was it like for you? I guess, you know, seeing her and her coming into the world. Like, what was it like becoming a, become a father for the first time? What was it like for you, mate?

So I'm the last one. Well, of age because my dad has 10 and 11 year old my sisters, but I was the last one to have a kid I got. So just so you know, I have a, my mom remarried, so I have a dad and stepdad and My dad has seven kids. My stepdad has 11, so it's 18 of us. So a ton of kids and a ton of nieces and nephews and I'VE always been the one because I've been working so hard to set up the life I want to have, you know, super successful, and just wait till I hit that point to have kids. It happened on. It was almost like a oops moment with me and my fiance, and it just. It came out of nowhere. So my mindset, like I said, it just is switched. Like, I got to step it up big time. But, you know, outside of that story when she was born, you know, I've never really been a super emotional person because that's how I was raised as, you know, young, young black kid. Like, you're show no emotion. Like, that's. That's just how we're raised. And when I first heard her cry, like, I start crying because it was just like. Like, I've always wanted kids, and I always wanted two girls. So I got my first girl. You know, hopefully down the line, I get my second, and then we'll be done. But. But it just, like, that feeling is something I've always wanted, I've always been scared of because of what I went through. I don't want to be that type of parent. And I love my parents. You know, they had their faults, and I. It. It is what it is. And. But. But the whole thing for me was like, I don't want to be that parent that's not there, that can't provide the certain things, like, to give more opportunity. And so that's why, like I said, I was on a mission to. To put myself in position to give that to her.

Yeah, absolutely, man. I mean, and that's a big part of what we talk about. You know, you need to be well, you need to be operating well, Jeff, to be able to give her and your partner more, I say you need to be 100% to give. 100. Yeah. That's the hard part that I find a lot of the times with fatherhood. A lot of fathers are told that they need to just suck it up and move on, or like you said, don't show emotions or just go, and I'll make money. But there's so much more to fatherhood and being a leader of. Of the family the right way. What do you feel are some of the great things that can really assist and help with that? Is it being healthy and strong and fit? Is it having lines of meditation, creating space, building a better nature or temperament in yourself? What are some key things you see that are pitfalls that some fathers fall into, where they bring themselves and their families down? And what are some things that you think really enhance and help with that journey of being a good father.

And man, I would say the two things I've seen from my dad and stepdad and, you know, my friends, parents and stuff like that, the ones that work, the ones that don't work is ego. Because like I said with that show no emotion thing, like, you take everything personal and it's just like, you have to be the boss and this and that. So letting the ego go, like, is when you're. When you have a kid, like, whether you're with your partner or not, you know, mother or whatever, like, just understanding you're doing it for your kid. Like, it's not a battle back and forth because like I said, my parents got divorced. So it's not a battle back and forth between you. It's all about the kid and making sure they have the best environment to grow up in. The other thing is communication. And that's. I feel like that is the pitfall of every relationship. If you don't communicate, like, nothing can get done. All it does is build up anger and tension between the two of you. And the kid sees that. And that's why I dealt with the whole depression and suicide thing when I was a kid, because I saw that from my parents. They're, you know, bickering back and forth, always arguing this and that. Kids shouldn't have to see that. And you think they don't because you're in your own world doing your thing and working and this and that, but they absorb everything. So I would say, as a man, let my ego go, understand that I don't know everything and be willing to learn and get better. And then the communication part, just being open and honest about everything and just trying to find the right way to do things.

It's incredible, man. Love those answers, too, Jeff, like, you're spot on, mate. I couldn't agree more. When we're talking about environment and your kids absorbing the environment that they're part of, we make up a huge part of that. Especially before the school, like, when they start going to school, you've already got, what, four, five, six years under your belt of them being completely in your environment. And we worry about our own shit, right? What's going on in our world, but it's also looking and going well. Who's watching? Who's that influencing or affecting? Or even. Even if you don't speak the words, they don't hear the words you speak. Kids feel energy, man. Like, they respond to that. That's because they haven't Developed the way to articulate messages and talk and communicate in different, different ways to connect. They absorb our energy big time. And second point about communication, couldn't agree more. Like a lot of the challenges and hardships I went through with my relationships, with my business, with everything actually everything. All of my problems have come down to generally a lack of clarity because I don't know where I stand. They don't know where they stand. And that comes from lack of communication. Spot on, man. But like when you being an elite athlete, like do you feel there were principles or habits or work ethics or things that you've built over time that have transferred to fatherhood as well, that have made the whole process, I guess, easier or more enjoyable or better to handle?

I mean, I think the hard work, the discipline that it takes to be an athlete at that level, the focus, I think those things all translate over and then same with business, but they all translate over. The thing I was missing is the emotional side and really trying to open up and just like I said, letting that ego go and letting that machismo or whatever you want to call it, like letting that go and just being, you know, understanding and soft and having that emotional space for my daughter and for my partner because we butt aheads a lot of time because she's on opposite end of the spectrum. She's like an over communicator and super emotional and I'm complete opposite. So like by us getting our relationship better is helping me big time with my daughter. Like, and I noticed I'll do it more for my daughter than my partner, but it's getting better. But like, you know, first thing in the morning I'll hear, while I'm getting ready, I'll hear upstairs crazy crying, she just woke up. So I'll make her a bottle, I'll change her diaper, play with a little bit and then you know, put some cartoons on while I go make her breakfast. So like, things like that I feel like are helping me open up and relax more and, and show more emotion on that end. But you know, like I said, as far as being an elite athlete, those things I definitely want to have her adopt when she starts learning more and more, like just being disciplined and just working hard and, and understanding. Like I said, you don't know everything. So focus on learning as much as you can and being able to, being willing to learn, being open.

It's great to, it's great to have that humility too, mate. I couldn't agree more. You know, like you can have so much knowledge but still not have the. It's almost like the more we learn, the more we realize that we don't actually know it there because it opens up to so much more. And it's incredible, mate. And for father does that. That does that for me. I've got three kids now, and everyone has taught me a valuable lesson. One, the very first one was absolutely bringing up the mirror. Who am I? Who do I want to be? What's important in my life? It's not about just me, but I am important to make sure I can be the best so that they can get the best. Second one was absolutely time management and prioritizing the most important things in life. Cause you've got less. And then the third child for me was energy capacity. Man, that's a huge thing which you talk about with having your own product in flow. That's awesome. It's so cool to see that you can have a place in the world of not just supplementation, but the message behind that, to help assist other people. That it's a given in the chaotic and crazy world where there is so much fluff and information, you really want to support and help them. But I guess for me, man, that big thing of pulling down the layers, like you said, with ego and absolutely communicating and connecting. What are some of the key things or any practices or advices or tips that I guess that you'd love to share, man, that has helped you with that. Because there are a lot of dads who are proud. Like, I don't want to let down the walls either with their family or themselves and break through and have that transparency as well as communicate. Like, there are a couple of. I don't know, there are a couple of practices or key things. I know you share one example, which is cool, but anything else that you'd add with, you know, getting out of your own way and also working on communication and being open with your family.

I would say the people that you surround yourself with is a big one because, like, having people that are open and honest about, like, they're able to call you out on your shit. Like, if you're not acting right, they can put you into your place. So having a lot of people like that around me has helped me big time of just keeping my head level and understanding where I'm at. I'm constantly learning, like podcasts on relationships, different books on business and leadership, things like that. Because like I said, I don't know everything. And the more I expose myself to, the more I can create the person I see in My head that I want to be. And that comes from, you know, just constantly consuming content and applying it. You know, you can't just read something and just go about your day. Like, you have to actually take the time. Like, my motto for this year, and I tell people it's probably the rest of my life, is brick by brick. And because I want to have my foundation so solid that nothing can ever rock me, because I've been at my lowest point where I had no money, I was working three jobs and, you know, living off energy drinks and canned chili. Like, I don't want to get there. So I need my foundation so solid. And I actually think that going through that event, like, really, really, like, broke me down on my ego. Because I used to. Like, I used to think I know it all. Like, with my gym, like, I had no. No idea how to run a business, like, by myself, basically. I had a partner, but she ran the back end, but, like, the front end, like, running everything for myself or by myself on that end. And I didn't know everything. Like, I should have took more time. And that's the stuff I see now, like, learning from my mistakes. But my ego messed me up in so many ways because I wouldn't just, like, get out of my own way. Like, take the time to know. Like, I don't know everything. I just need more patience and understanding that it's going to take time to become that person. Like, I was trying to rush things. I used to have a bad relationship with time. But it's so much better now because I understand it takes time to be great. But, yeah, just constantly consuming, consuming content on, like, how to be better, how to be the person you want to be, and actually applying it every day.

Yeah, I love it, man. That's. It's awesome, you know, and you hear. Or it's an old term that's coined knowledge is power. I always struggle with that because I'm like, yeah, you can learn something, but what are you doing with the knowledge that you've acquired? And it's exactly. Implement it, take action with it. And that's a big thing. And it's hard when it comes to ego, pride, those sorts of things, because you can perform at such a high level in certain areas of life. Life like you have. It can be even harder sometimes, can't it? Because you're like, oh, I'm already up there. You know, why should I Or why shouldn't I just keep doing what I'm doing? And I totally understand and get that too, man. And it's incredible though that, that as a platform is something that you, like you said you will expose your daughter to in health, fitness, those sorts of things are huge for children. I know you touched on that earlier, but it's for me that's a given. Jeff. You know, it's awesome to see you see like minded on that because when you used to have my gym and the kids would come in, they'd be swinging on the rings, doing everything, like they're completely desensitized. So that's just their normal, you know, and it's, it's awesome to see that standard which comes from, like you said, their environment which is heavily influenced by us. You strike me as someone who's really hungry for growth, mate. That's something I've always gotten from you and I continue to get.

Yeah, yeah. I, like I said with, with all the stuff that happened, I would never change it because it's got me here. But like I've always, always wanted to constantly evolve into the person. Like I said, I see, I see in my head like the great dad, the great business owner, the great partner to my one day wife. I know I can get there and I just have to constantly make sure I stay out of my own way. That's the biggest thing you can get in a routine and stuff like that and it gets easy. But just having those systems in place, like I said, we're constantly reading, consuming content on what you want to be and how you want to live and that type of thing, it keeps you in that like that hunger mode where you're, you're still not there, you're still not there. Not satisfied with who you are today because you're chasing that person, you know, 10 years from now or 20 years from now.

It's, it's fascinating when I see that mate, and I see the changes in my life, what you're going through and a lot of the fathers I've worked through, worked with, that's all it is, isn't it? Brick by brick. I love that saying, man. That's awesome. So true. You don't need. And I say this as well, like baseball's popular in our country, but obviously it's very, very popular in the United States. But I say that to the guys. You don't need to hit home runs all the time. Like it's just a case of how.

Do we get bangles, doubles, triples. Yeah.

How do we build? Keep building, just keep building, just keep building. And it's something that on compound interest level, it bids huge results. Down the, down the road and not that far away too, you know, like, we will blink and we'll be 20, 30, you know, like, it goes very so quick.

I can't believe it seems like yesterday I graduated college in 2011. It's like it's been 10 years since I graduated college. It's so nuts.

Yeah, it's. It's incredible how fast it goes. Well, what do you think or why do you think that certain fathers out there have limiting beliefs? Like, what's your, I guess, what's your view or your perspective around that sort of stuff? Like, you're someone who's continually building and carving out your life with your family now, which is, it's unreal. I love seeing that sort of stuff, but there's so many who don't, Jeff. And like, I guess I'd be open to your observations and perspective on it. Like, why do you think people self sabotage? Like, and they're, they're their own limiting factor with, with their, with their belief.

So I, like, I make sure same thing. I keep systems in place because I get in the routines where I want to back off because of the success I've had and seeing my brothers and sisters, like, you know, where they're at. Like, I have that, like that success remorse or just like I feel guilty of me being so successful or having success up to this point. Sometimes I feel guilty and it's like, all right, I. I don't really deserve this. And I think that's just a mindset that's ingrained with the people you're around when you're younger because they're not pushing themselves to be the best version, like maxing their percent potential out. And that's something I like. I always make sure, like I'm constantly trying to push. But I think another thing with even just looking at people back home is the lack of exposure and pairing that with the knowledge. Like, there's a way to get what you want. You just gotta expose yourself little by little to it and strategically, like, plan everything out and be able to adjust. So like, I've never, when I was growing up, like, I didn't see people with, you know, huge houses and nice cars and stuff like that. But when I got to college, I got a little bit of exposure of certain things. You know, we had this program where it was called Adopt a Dog, where alumni would adopt, quote, unquote, adopt a dog, and they could take it out of dinner and take. Bring you over the house to hang out and stuff like that. So I was Exposed little by little, with that on, like, what's possible. And then transitioning out of college, like, now I start personal training. I'm training doctors and lawyers, and they're taking me out, you know, to dinner and paying for my dinners. And, like, seeing that lifestyle and then, you know, making across the games, like, things just got bigger and bigger, and the exposure just kept expanding my mind on what's possible. So, like, I feel like a lot of people get stuck in their routine and don't realize that what they truly want is out there, but they don't have the systems in place and they lack the knowledge that they need to get to that point. So I think. I think that's a big one, because, like I said, I look back at people at home, they're still doing the same old things and not evolving into something more because they don't have those. They don't have the exposure to what's. What's out there. And that's. Honestly, that's like, another thing I'm passionate about is the impact on people. And we talked about this a little bit ago, like, the impact I'm trying to bring. So, like, some of my. I'm big into, like, stocks and real estate, and a lot of my teammates are not really doing much. Some of them played in the NFL making, you know, 15, 20,000 a week, and they don't understand money. So I actually set up a group so we can all start learning more and more about these things, because I want to have that impact on their family. Because I feel like if I can get myself out of the hole and teach myself all these things, it's my responsibility to reach out and pull more people up. So I think, you know, making sure I do my part is important to me, like, having an impact on a generational level. But, yeah, I'll say exposure and then lack of knowledge are the two biggest things that keep you in your way. Like, if you don't have that awareness that you're in your way, you know, it's hard to break that cycle.

Yeah, it's very powerful, man. Yeah. When talking about exposure, you know, like, I look at that and. And, yeah, I see the same, like, people, if they don't expose themselves to possibilities, they get stuck in their own environmental world. And nothing can influence you more than your external environment. It will influence you big time. And it's hard because a lot of. No one starts on the same starting line, do they? Like, there are some people who. Man, it's very, very, very hard to just fuck, let's break through and let's back ourselves and start to learn. Some people don't even think that's possible, you know, and then there's other people who, you know, they've got all the books in the world and then they might not use it. So it's so funny, mate, how you can see there's different levels or layers of where people start from, but exposure and knowledge, like it's. I remember hearing a guy talk and the he said, in five years, the biggest things that will change your life in the next five years or in five years time, the books you read and the people you meet. And I was like, wow, that's very interesting, isn't it? Because it's, it's true, man. Like all of those books that I've read behind me, some of them, it's like, okay, I've done a reading course. I've invested myself because I was horrible at reading. I want to read faster because I can't perform well. I wouldn't read the books because I'd be reading, I'd be so horrible at it. And it'd be my own pride and ego. What did I do? I learned how to read better. And I read very well and fast and I comprehend it now. So even if it still takes me a couple of weeks to read a book and I get one thing out of it, Jeff, if I get one thing and that one thing converts to not necessarily money, but it converts to value who I am, the actions I can take. And you do that, and then I do that. With 15 or 20 books a year, in five years time, that's a big difference, man. And that's a lot of exposure to different environments of people who've lived it past and present. And the knowledge that's acquired from that with the action you can then take, it's, yeah, it, I'm not sure why. You know, sometimes people start like that and then they sabotage. But sometimes I do. See, what you spoke about with not feeling like you deserve it as well, I've been part of that. It's like, yeah, maybe.

And I don't, it's so crazy. Like I don't know where that comes from because I, I, I don't like it. Just like I try to think about like when I was little, like, who was like that, that negative Nancy type person to put that in me. But I think it's just little doses over years and years and years. Like they tell you when you're in grade school, you can be whatever you want to be, but when you get older and older, it's like, oh, that's crazy. You shouldn't be trying to do that. Just do something safe. Like, I think little doses over time just ingrain you with that more negative mindset.

Yeah, yeah, I agree. It's. I think it's a real subtlety and we don't realize. Like, it's one of my recent podcasts, you know, I call the black magic or words that you speak because it is magic. Like whether you want to speak those words of self assurance, affirmations to your own belief, or whether you accept it. The last podcast before this was Revolving Door of Decision. And what that is, is you could compliment me, like, as an awesome clean and jerk. Al, you did well, mate. Great lift. And I could turn around and just immediately dismiss it, which a lot of people do, right? And I could. It's about time I got the lift, you know, I haven't hit it properly for two weeks. This is what people do, man. They straightaway pull themselves down to the negative side of things and one that comes from others putting it on them. Those who are wanting to be bright and shine, like you said, through college and other areas because of their own self worth, they bring others down. I never understood that too, with bullying. Like, I got bullied a lot when I was young and I never understood it or no one explained it to me. I'm like, now I'm older and I'm a leader, I've got children. I can see the pathway of fear of failure or a love for greatness. I look back at all the bullying and I'm like, it was just projecting their internal insecurities and nightmares of who they were and they were afraid of me, which I was a young, fat, overweight, obese boy who had no girlfriends, no real friends or anything. So I'm not sure what the. What the issue was, but obviously, like you said, you carry yourself a certain way, but then people start to pull you back. Because I was always raised with that belief, you know, you can do anything you want to if you put in the work, you know, build up the knowledge and put the effort in and put your mind and your heart to it.

Yep. Yeah. I want to add one thing too, is the execution part. You said, you said it's like different stages where you can read all the books, but, like, the ideas are cool, but if you like the execution on it, nothing's getting done. Like, for me, it's like I said, that generational impact on my family and, you know, other people's family that's why I wake up every morning with so much energy and excitement, because, like, today is the day I lay another brick on my foundation to get closer to having an entire house done. Like, I wake up because I know, like, I'm so close to reaching the thousands of people that I want to reach. I guess more. It's deeper. It's more meaning than just myself. Like, for when I was competing in CrossFit games and all that, it was cool. You know, I'm trying to get sponsors, make money, but that's, like, all that material, fake stuff. Like, when it's for my daughter and my family and other people's families, like, that's something. When I pass on, that's gonna last. And when, you know, when it's my time, people are gonna say, like, Jeff helped me out because he was a good person, and he. He really wanted to see me change my. My family's cycle and b, max out my potential. So that's, like, for me, that the execution part is something I truly believe in, because you can know everything but not take action and execute and just sit around and, you know, do the same old thing.

Yeah. Couldn't agree more, man. And that's what I love about you as well, Jeff. Like, having that. That ripple effect. It really is, isn't it? Yeah. Like you said, it's your responsibility. You go through a certain. You have a breakthrough in a certain area of life. All right, let's. Let's pull some people through. And it's not a. It's not a, you know, a pedestal thing of I'm lonely at the top. It's got nothing to do with that. It's just understanding that so many other people are going through their own demons, their own problems, and what can we do to reinforce what we need to do? Like, even just having this conversation with you now, there are so many key points that remind me of what I need to keep doing. You know, there are so many reminders I have all the time, and even when I do my podcasts, I. Afterwards, I reflect. I'm like, I need to make sure I keep doing that, obviously, because I don't want to be a hypocrite either. But it's having that repetition, man. It's powerful. And one of the greatest ways to have that is to teach or to pass on or to connect with others and people, places and things. That's your environment. Right. But you know the saying people used to say, practice makes perfect. And then I've heard someone say, practice makes progress. When we Talk about brick by brick. I, I expanded on this last week with my dads in my group and I said precision and purpose equals progress. And that's something that I truly believe in. Because when you talk about execution, you might be doing the wrong thing over and over, right? And then you're going down a bad pattern. But if you're applying it and trying to dial in that 1% with brick by brick and there's purpose behind it, I usually find that's where you get a lot of the growth and a lot of the times it comes through your struggles and challenges. But I'd love to get your input or your advice, mate. And a couple of key things, or one or even one or one to two things that you found have helped you that there might be a father listening to this who is feeling that way, like it's Groundhog Day or he's in the spinning wheel or he doesn't know quite where to start or what to do. Like what would be maybe a couple of key mindset things. Mindset, personal identity, things that build legacy. Right? That's what you're talking about when you share. I don't know, mate. I'd love to get some of your, you know, your viewpoints or a couple of bits of advice that have worked for you that you'd like to pass on to now.

So I'll start with what you just mentioned. Identity. So like one of my sayings when I'm talking to people and try to get them to understand, like, you need to find out who you are and that because of the behaviors that you have right now are from the identity that you have about yourself. So like, like I've been an athlete and that was the only identity I had and that made me fall apart in so many other things, like having a business relationships. Like I've athlete was the only thing on my list. So like in my bathroom now I typed it up and it has be an amazing father, be an amazing partner, be a millionaire by a certain age, run a successful business. And the last one is athlete. And I read that every morning because I need to make sure, in that order, from when I wake up to when I go to sleep, I'm maxing out my potential on being a father or being a great father, being a great partner, being a great businessman to get me to being a multimillionaire and, and athlete, that's the last. So if I can't get to the athlete, that doesn't happen that day. And like this week I haven't worked out at all because I've been maxing everything else out and just having an understanding. Like I'm working my way down that list because those are my priorities. And every brick that I lay for my daughter, making sure I cook her breakfast in the morning, have, have a little play time in the morning and then same thing at night so she knows who I am, I'm around and I can, you know, have a relationship with her. Same thing with my, my, my fiance. Like I want to make sure, you know, I cook her breakfast in the morning before I leave and her day is set up and I'm helping her become a better person. Same thing when I get home, just trying to check in, doing a better job of that. And you know, while I'm at work, I'm at work, you know, just running around doing my thing, making sure that's good and then at the same time building my business that I'm trying to build now. And you know, if athlete is, I have space for it, then, you know, from there I'll get that done. But, but just understanding who you are and not having an ego about like the emotional side, just being able to tap into that because we, we're so, most, most men don't show emotion. Like that's just how society raised most of us. And now it's getting better and better because therapy is becoming normal and just, you know, talking about like all the stuff I told you that happened to me, it took me a while to even open up about that. Like when I made the CrossFit Games 2014, I actually did an interview and they put that in the paper because I was in the back before we walked on the podium, after I got top three regionals to go to the Games, before I was, I got on one knee and I was just looking up like I had tears coming down because that's the first thing I thought of is if I would have killed, if I would have committed suicide and like I wouldn't have experienced that. So like just being open about like things like that can help you shed a lot of that baggage that you have from your past. So I think the emotional side is, is big and then letting that ego go, but the identity, just knowing who you are, who you want to be, setting up structures to get you to that point. Because it's like in 20 years, the person I see myself as, all I've done is re engineered like how to get there. And that starts with making that list like I'm a great father, I'm a great partner, and going Right down the line and every day just sticking out, sticking through it and having that, that brick by brick mentality. And in 20 years, I should be that person.

That's very inspiring, man. That really is. And you know, like, having that mantra, affirmations, whatever you want to call it, like having that list, personal identity, which can change. It can change, can't it? You can reorganize. You're entering an incredible phase in your life and a stage in your life where you're building the empire. Like, it doesn't. And that's the thing for me as well. It doesn't have to be when we're talking about athletes and whatnot. It doesn't have to be just. Just about you. Like, why would you want it to be? It's.

It's exactly. That's boring.

That's right. It really is, like, for me to keep competing, like, I'm healthy and strong. Just like you're healthy and strong and. Yeah. Having that order as well, because they're all the hats that we wear as well. Right. And having that order, that can help continually build the momentum of who we want to be in our life, brick by brick, like you say, I love that over 20 years, it's massive. Like, that's a massive change. And then when you look at it, even in our 40s and 50s, keeping well and in good health, still just warming up, man. Like, there's so much more that we can do when you continually do off that foundation. But I really love that advice, man. Like, that's something that's pretty special. A lot of them fundamentally are simple, aren't they? Like printing off. But it's that repetition. Excuse me, it's that repetition because life can be so chaotic and chaos and stress is a part of life. It's not that it's a good or bad. It's how you handle it that ultimately defines, you know, where you go and who you will become. I find that things like those reminders and what you've said can really help you remove a lot of that chaos and stress at times. So you can just focus on what the most important thing is now.

Yeah, I'm a big believer on, like, simplifying things. Like if I. If I make, you know, a specific goal, it stresses me out. And I've done that in the past with, you know, CrossFit trying to make the Games instead of, like, I told you that story, I took 10 months off and then got back in and competed for three or trained for three months and then got third at Granite Games. Like, I've never done anything like that. Like, I was literally no cardio for 10 months, no gymnastics, just Olympic lifting. But it was because I focus on the details and, or like my main weaknesses and got it done day after day after day after day and, and really didn't worry about anything else. So I figured if I can do the same thing, but do it for my daughter, do it for my, my girl and same thing with work and my business, like, I'll slowly get there. I just got to put the work in and make it simple.

Make it simple brick by brick. Like, it's a great, great message from someone who's been at highs and lows throughout their life to build a level of consistent growth. And like I said, mate, that's very inspiring. When we're looking at this, it's important to see the value of where you can go with your life and what that looks like and then build it out bit by bit. What's the alternative for these guys? Like, if you've got men becoming fathers, their fathers, they're building these patterns of behaviors like you speak, what is the alternative? Mate, if they don't get their shit together, they don't seek growth and have that hunger to perform and be a high performance father in their life, in their family and their self as a husband or partner, what do you see as the alternative or have seen for a lot of these guys as they enter their 40s and 50s?

Honestly, I just, I, I see chaos. Like, like one thing for me, like going back to that identity, like it's us as men have to understand it's okay to be like who you know you are. Like we in, in our head sometimes we, we, excuse my language, it's like a mind and we don't get out, get out of our own way. And for me, like, all the relationships I see of, you know, whether it's my dad, his friends, like people in that 40s, 50s, 60s age, where their life is just falling apart, or they're not happy or they have regrets because they didn't go for it. Like, you don't want to die. You don't want to leave this earth knowing that you had more in the tank. Like, you need to empty the tank before you leave this. And that's why like, like I said, for me it's a bigger purpose in myself. Like, I need generational impact on not just my, my family, my immediate family, my extended family, but also my friends. Like, and then also with, you know, my supplement company, like knowing that we're Donating money to kids in different organizations, like, that's the impact I want to leave. So if you don't max out your potential, like, it's just. It's. You're on a hamster wheel. Like, how is life fun or exciting when you're just doing the same thing over and over? Like, I. To me, I can't process that because I've seen it growing up at a young age, and I still see it from a lot of my family that's still doing the same stuff. Like, I don't. I can't process that. Like, I need to evolve and get better and better so other people can do it. Because, like I said, that's generational impact. Like pulling more and more people up the ladder so they see what's possible for themselves. You want to push to find your capacity, like, your max capacity on what. What you're capable of. Because it's not. It's not. You're not living a life to just go on a hamster wheel and do the same thing and not evolve. Because you think about when you leave this earth, how many people under you like your kids. Like, you're teaching them to be complacent and average. Like, you want them to be way better than you have ever been. So if you can max yourself out, why not? Because all you're going to do is teach them those skills. And that's like. Like I said, that's what I'm all about, is maxing out my capacity.

Yeah. And it's funny when people say. Or they might question or they try and pull you back, or like you said, they limit your beliefs and your potential by saying, oh, why are you doing this? Or why are you doing that? Or you're working too hard. You don't need. Like, what you said, then my answer is, why not? If we've only got one, let's not waste our turn. Yeah, it's what. What you're speaking about then. To me. To me, that's eternal life, Jeff. And everyone's open to their own. Their own viewpoint on this. But I know this body is going to eventually pass and move on and die. Like, I understand. I get that it'll become dust in the earth, and that is a part of life. My. My values, my belief systems, my mannerisms, my teachings, my leadership, all of these different moving parts. I can already see my children in those who I've been in contact with and built and developed and mentored or had some sort of connection with. That, to me, is eternal life. Because when I'M dead. I'm still going to be living through in the way my daughters laugh or the big shot that my son has a crack at and goes for and wants to execute on in sport or in business or in life or in relationships and having that ability to back himself and believe. Like, these are things that I'm still living on through my children and those around me. And I think that's an incredible thing to have, mate, which really highlights the importance of legacy as well in eternal life and living on through our children and those that we connect with and be good leaders for to help them rise up and become the best that they can be. And one thing I always say is, will we be laying back on our deathbed one day, kicking back, looking our children in the eyes if they're there, and wishing that we watched more Netflix and drank more alcohol? You know, like, it's. It's not about settling. It's about looking back over your life and going, this is what I stood for. These are the shots that I took in life and not having any regrets. That's a big.

I think about, like, all the fathers that you're helping out and they become better. Like, you're. You're touching so many people and you're living on through them now. I guess that's why I say that generational impact from when you launched to what you're doing now, to see the progress, impact, like, it's going beyond your. And the cycle is just getting better and better. So, like, like you said that eternal life, like, you're gonna live on through them now.

Yeah, and I appreciate that as well, mate. Like, it's. It's something where you would never want to try and go it alone. It's about building, building with others because it's like championship teams. It brings out the best in you as an individual as well. That's a. That's a very rare thing you see today. Even in a world that's so connected, people seem to be more disconnected. And that's something that doing it with the right message from the right place, it's special, mate, and I can see you doing that as well. And it's what makes life fulfilling and rewarding as well, mate. It's been awesome having you on, Jeff, and I really appreciate you sharing and spending time with us and giving us your valuable time. Is there anything else that you wanted to add, mate, as we wrap this up? I've really enjoyed this session, man. There's a lot of great takeaways. I'm looking forward to Listening to it again, Damn it.

I mean, honestly, it's just like you said, when you're talking to the dads out there, just leave the ego aside, be willing to put in the work and execute. Like, you know, understand your identity. Like, just recapping on those things. I honestly feel like if you can put that, you can create that plan of who you want to be, how you need to, like, how to get there, and just taking it day by day, brick by brick. Like, the impact you're gonna leave is gonna be so much greater than what you're doing now. Being on the hamster wheel.

I love it, man. Love it, man. Brick by brick, damn it.

I live by it. Now, every. Almost every post I make is I'm always putting the little brick emojis now.

It's incredible, man. Now, thank you again for giving us your time and sharing your story and your message and. And for those of you listening and watching this, you know, brick by brick, Jeff's right. Get off the hamster wheel, take charge, take control of your life and build that legacy through having impact with others and yourself by consistently seeking growth 100%. Thanks again, brother. I've really enjoyed this session, mate.

It's just. It all makes sense to me now. Like, just take it day by day and if I can touch one person today, 10 people tomorrow, the next, like, it's all going to add up over time.