98. Choosing The Battles To Win The War

Foreign. Podcast. I'm your host, Al, and in this episode, we talk about the battles, fighting, choosing, engaging in the battles that will win the war, picking the battles that will win the war, fighting the battles that will win your war, and ultimately not using a negative connotation with battles and war, but this being your life in the positive outcomes, who you can become, what that looks like for you, how you can live a life of love, joy, fulfillment through optimism, through action, and having that recognition of action, knowing that you've taken the right steps in the right areas because of what you focused on, where you've applied your effort and energy and the reasons behind that, there must be purpose behind it. So fighting the battles to win the war. What we're talking about here in this episode is you ultimately allocating, prioritizing your time and energy, your time and effort, the two things that you'll never get back. They are coupled together. They linked in time together to move ahead and win. What does win look like, Al? Well, that's a hard one to answer. What does winning look like for you? You know, ultimately for me, it's about consistently seeking growth and moving forward. And there was a great podcast I did as a guest with, with a friend of mine who owns a business, and he owns a gym. And he asked me at the end of our session, he said, what are the three greatest lessons in life that you've learned so far? And I thought, oh, that's really interesting. I guess lessons in life generally steer you towards what success looks like for you because they're lessons. And with that, you take a certain perspective from it to decide what it is that you need to do next. And for me, these lessons are very simple. I'll explain them to you now. One was, you're either growing or dying. Two was there's only ever going to be one most important thing at a time. And when we're looking at those two just to start with. And three was environment. When looking at those two just to start with, you are either growing or dying. For me, it's about consistently seeking growth. And when you're consistently seeking growth, there will be resistance, there will be roadblocks, there will be people, places and things, some good, bad and ugly. This is a part of life for me. There are a lot of mosquitoes around. There always will be. I'm very transparent. I'm open, I'm putting myself out there a lot. These mosquitoes, they don't even get the chance to draw blood. I'm moving too fast. You can't keep up with me, man, like where I'm going, it's a case of yes, anyone can try and influence anyone in this world, but ultimately, if you build that internal framework, that strength, that resilience of who you are, what's important for you, no one will ever stop you. When it's done out of love, not out of malice or hate or obsession in the wrong way or something that's detriment of someone else. You, you can't lose you out of a higher level of love and purpose through striving forth. There's a difference in that kind of energy. I don't care what someone's opinion is. There is a difference between that energy and then pulling down to the negativity, the bitterness, the hatred. Like that is something where someone will adopt that and they become toxic, they become poisoned and they don't even realize it. That's the sad part that, that is ultimately really the sad part when they don't even realize what they're doing. Ultimately, on a subtle level, this can become life for fathers for many, many years. You get stuck in the rat race. It's chaos. It's just chaotic everywhere, all the time and the stress is building and ultimately you are self sabotaging, pulling away, not striving forth. And a lot of things that you do are out of a fear of failure instead of a love for greatness. This is what I'm talking about when I explain that first lesson. You're either growing or dying. And I know it's a little bit cliche and sometimes some of the big wizards don't really explain it with that level of depth, but it's not about a cellular thing, although that' truth as well. It's about establishing who you can become for that year, for that version of who you are at the best possible way, with the best possible outcomes and solutions to the problems you face. There's only ever going to be 51 year old Al once, 63 year old Al once, 75 year old Al once. It's not about comparing 75 year old Al, 25 year old Al and how he had abs and now he doesn't. It's got nothing to do with that. It's got to do with the entire game that you're playing at that stage of your life, you're either growing or dying. Second one, only one thing. If women really want to claim and own the prize of multitasking, let them have it. Multitasking doesn't exist. If I'm talking to you right now and then I'm Shuffling papers and then I'm looking at someone else or I'm moving around. Yeah. There are things subconsciously you can do that are quite effortless. But in terms of multitasking, the way it's praised, what you're doing is you're rapidly moving from one task to another, one task to another, one task. And that level of multitasking lacks depth. You'll never have the depth and impact that you think you should. And it creates more chaos and stress and ultimately the rewards aren't there. Third one is environment. Nothing influences you more than your external environment. It's a sacred place. And part for me, there are people. Here's the crazy part. RDM can potentially be for every father, but the reality is it isn't. And it's not because of the system. The system's proven. We've got so many fathers, their wives, their children reaching out, saying, hey, thank you so much. Like my husband or our father, he has changed his life so much and it is amazing and we can't thank you enough. Like, this is. It's just a gift. It's so incredible to see. And look, I'm humbled for it. I'm not a one man band. We've got an entire team and it's the culture of the crew as well. But your environment is so powerful. That's why if someone is acting in a way where it's detrimental, if someone is coming in or I'm copying abuse on my ads or any other variables where the energy isn't aligned. Oh, mate. See you later. Like you mosquito fly, off you go. It must be that way for you. Your environment is so powerful, you know, and the critics, the naysayers, you continue to move forward, stay in your lane, smile and get massive success. It's very simple, actually. It's a very easy formula. You stay true to you and who you are and you keep moving forward in that respect. You are unshakable like that. That is the truth, that that is life for you should you choose it. Those three lessons, peeling back and coming back into the point of this episode, I just want to paint a little bit of a picture on that. Those three lessons, coming back into choosing battles to win the war, it's something that ebbs and flows in life. Man. Like, you need to understand this. If you're moving forward, you're listening to this, you want to move forward and become a high performance father in your life. You need to understand and recognize that you only have a certain amount of time. There will always be more. There will be way more good and great ideas in life than there actually will ever be capacity to execute on them. My point is this. You will never be able to do everything that you want to do or that you're attracted to or that you're appealed. You know that something that appeals to you in a way of hey, that, that, that's a good idea, I can do that. That, that's an opportunity, that's a possibility. Never. No way. You will never be able to do everything that you want to at a surface level of desire, which is why you must focus your energy and efforts. There can only be a couple of most important things spread across different areas of your life. Family, self and service. The path must be relevant. You need to consistently seek perspective over the actions you're currently taking over the actions that you desire to take and the outcomes that you desire. Gain clarity from that and then move, keep moving towards that. And there must be deadlines. This is what I'm talking about when I talk about battles to win the war. I'm not talking about a battle with a specific situation or you know, a specific challenge to get this goal done. And this is, this is what I need to do with work or this is what I need to do with my relationships or a specific person. I'm talking about battles to win the war. Creating leverage by building momentum on, focusing your efforts on the most important things. You know what, sometimes you will need to fight. You will need to stand up and go, well, fuck you. This is who I am and this is what I choose to do for me and my life. I'm not saying you need to do that to your wife. What I'm saying is you're going to be presented with challenges that you've never even thought existed before. With the universe, with people, places and things. It's up to you to decide where you stand. If you don't stand for anything, ultimately what you will then find is you are weak shell of a man who stands against something else. You think that's standing for something, it's not. You're just rising up, creating fluff and standing against something else without even knowing where you fucking fit in the world and where you fit in your own life. That's a challenging place to be. Man like be warned, with that comes a lack of identity, lack of purpose, and ultimately pulling away to self sabotage and a life that lacks fulfillment and a lack of respect and love from those around you as well. You must rise up and stand for something and that something you stand for must be out of a line of love, self love and worth and valuing who you are and what it is that you can have and imprint and implant and. And have as a footprint in this world in a positive influence for others. The end. Will there be heartaches? Of course there will be. Will there be tough times? Will there be challenges? Will there be different opinions, different perspectives? Of course there will be. But this is. This is life. I'm not here to please everyone. You shouldn't be. Either you either align or you don't. It's very simple. Over time, a lot of fathers who reach out and join rdm, guess what? They're fucking amazing fits. You know, it's something that is phenomenal to see when someone aligns with this. Awesome. If you don't align with it, great. Good for you. Find your path in life like this is what it's about, finding what's true to you. For me, on a universal level, and I'm talking battles to win the war, it's a pretty simple universal message that we breathe here, right? We live and breathe consistently. Rise up, get out of your own way. Cut away the bullshit and the stories and excuses. Rise up, show and own the truth. Bring up the truth. Don't have denial. And from that, consistently seek growth in your life. You will not have regret and you'll be a true leader for yourself and your family. It's got nothing to do with dominance or Mr. Olympia, bodybuilding or fitness or fat loss. This is about you creating a legacy in your life. Now, if people don't align with that, that's cool. I've got no issue with that. That's okay. And truth be told, it's a blessing that we have this process and that I do these podcasts and videos and we share and spread our message because ultimately, what that creates is alignment for those who are willing to listen to it, open up their own perspective, the lens in how they see things, and then align and move forward. It's something where, when we're talking about environment, battles to win the war, choosing, applying your efforts and time and whatnot, it's a phenomenal opportunity, man. And it doesn't have to just be with me and rdm, you've got multiple environments, you've got multiple battles for the wars that you want to win. There's times you need to rise up and express that energy, that masculine energy, and fight and stand up and fight for what you believe in. There's other times when I'm talking about battles to win the war. It's strategic. It's how you apply yourself, it's how you connect. It's a communication that you have and then the context around that and then bringing comprehension, understanding that to create that connection. When you do that, I promise you man, you won't lose. You're not going to get drifting off and get distracted and sedated and moving away to things that don't matter. You're going to focus on the most important thing. And that's what we continue to do inside of I dm. Focus on the most important thing. Like we've been blessed. We've probably had maybe half a dozen nutters and then they've been kicked. Like our culture and our tribe is very important. Those who are that way inclined, they get found out pretty quickly, right? And that's okay. That's nothing against them. It's an observation of actions. And then we choose to continue aligned with where we want to go. I'm not going to judge someone for it. That's what they choose. Life is a choice. If you choose to be a victim or act out of malice or these ways and you're inclined that way, that's okay. You're just not a right fit for us. So when it comes to the strategies as well as standing up and fighting, you got to be the fucking man of your own life, of your own kingdom, your own household first. To be that king of the castle means you are willing to take the actions that others aren't. You're willing to stand up, you're willing to move through the shit, through the mud, right? Leadership after the fact, that's what leadership is. You can't be a leader in the moment. It's only something that's determined after the moment. Which means you head into the unknowns, which means you're taking action. Sometimes you're taking action before others. A lot of the times you're taking action before others heading into the unknown. What we're doing with real dad movement and building them into high performance fathers and moving forward into the next phase or the next journey of life over the decade of dads is something that is pioneering a new space. There are lots of great opportunities and areas for fathers to get help to have that support network. No stone unturned. We don't cut any corners. We go the whole hog, the whole nine yards. We cover every aspect of your life at the highest level, pinpoint for the father. Because this is all we do at a specific level from the inside out. Yes, their businesses flourish, yes, they improve tenfold in their relationships. But ultimately we Start from the inside out. I'm not going to be some wizard or some business coach that goes, hey mate, I'm going to show you how to 3x your profits and get your bottom line up, blah, blah, blah, blah. We're going to start from the inside out. It is the greatest way to win. It's the only way to win, man. You want to become a high performance father, get your marriage on track, make sure that flourishes, get that respect from the children the right way and be the leader for them, be the leader for yourself, value yourself again, look at that man in the mirror and say, yes, I'm the fucking man. Be ready for the battles and the battles are always from within. What you choose and allow to come into your frame, into who you are, what you choose and allow from the inside out to be expressed into the real world. This is what I'm talking about when I explain battles, not other people. You don't need that. I spent years acting out of fear of failure. Fuck that. I don't care what other people think because I know the people who think and they're bang on aligned with me and what I do. They're part of the tribe, they're on the inside. And it's not a right or wrong, this is the thing here, but it's also exclusive and selective. You know, I love so many different people from all walks of life and that's a great thing that they have all those different perspectives. I feel blessed because without that I can't have mine. Right? You can't have day without night doesn't work. So without the poison that exists in the world, you can't have the purity, you know, and this is, this is what it comes down to. And then yes, you will have perceptions, yes, you'll have different lines of influence, but ultimately man, if you're looking at becoming a high performance father in your life, you must establish the battles that are worth fighting and be strategic in your approach to that. Knowing when you need to stand up and go, yes, I'm the fucking man. Without being that Viking and slashing your way to victories because times have changed. You need to be smart in your approach of where you align your energy and your efforts and your time to A, get the low hanging fruit, but B, also make sure that it's relevant with purpose to move you forward. When you're doing this, mate, I promise you, you will execute at a higher level. When I'm talking about battles to win the war, we're talking about principles of execution. When we're Talking about principles of execution. Some of the main ones, the four key ones are focus, leverage, engagement and accountability. Very interesting. You know, when I'm reading this and studying and looking up a lot of this stuff, it's very interesting how without even researching or learning all of this intrinsically, through working with so many fathers over the years, it's bang on exactly what we have. When you're talking lead and lag measures, when you're talking focus, leverage, engagement, accountability, the pillars of rdm and we continually upgrade and evolve. There used to be five pillars, there's four. We combine two into one and tweak them. You've got alignment. Where are we going? A to B and Y. What's minus A? What's the alternative if you don't? And creating that alignment in a specific and unique way. Inside of rdm. Beautiful. Energy. Life is energy. That's the second pillar. What do we do? Nourish the body, move the body, restore the body. How are we calculating this? It's not about training six days a week. It's not about eating paleo. What are you doing with your sleep, your morning routine, your night routine, your technology exposure, like late at night, in the mornings, your multiple environments. This is important. Energy, man immersion and performance. Immersion. You engage in the right tribe. Performance. What are we doing to get the 1%? Is the accountability to dial it in? Just to tweak, tweak, tweak and keep moving forward. Principles of execution. Focus, leverage, engagement, accountability. These are powerful things, mate. When you're looking at the battles that you need to take inside of your life. Focus. There's only ever going to be one most important thing. Priorities is a falsity. It doesn't exist. Like that doesn't make sense to me because priority means most important. There's very importance, but there's only ever one most important. It doesn't make sense because what you're creating is a hierarchical chain of what it is that you need to do in that order of relevance, importance. You can't have two at the top. That doesn't make sense. There is no topic. You're flatlined. Focusing on the most important thing. Leverage. Leverage is about creating the actions, the lead measures that are going to get the lag measure. Like what are the lead measures? What are the actions you need to take to hit the target? We call it a tav. And I'll run through that on another episode and give you some insights into our high performance father journal. We're going to have them available. We've had them very exclusive. For members so far, but it's something we're going to push out now with phenomenal success to our fathers all over Australia. It's very exciting. Stay tuned for that one. But when we're looking at leverage, what are the actions we can take to create a nice big lever to lift that fucking rock, which is the outcome that you desire? Engagement. What are we doing to stay connected to this? To invest in a larger energy source, bigger and outside of us, what will help us continue to execute in having that engagement and that accountability? Who are you answering to? Yourself. Yeah, of course. But who else? Because sometimes you'll feel sorry for yourself, sometimes you won't feel like doing it for yourself. Which means if you continue to keep that company alone, that company alone is the company you will continue to become and you'll remain as if you're not quite sure what battles. As we wrap this up, you know, I hope this is making sense and really brought some light to where you're applying your effort and your energy. You won't ever get it back, mate. Like we're looking here, it's back end of March, we're about to finish Q1, entering Q2, like the second quarter of 2021. It's savage, isn't it, how fast it goes if you're not quite sure where to apply your efforts when we're talking about battles. To win that war, you need to know what the actual war is. Like, what is the outcome, what is the long term? And what excites me, man, like what jacks me up, what brings joy and fulfillment to my life? Like, what positions me to love the journey, to love the process of this. I'm not doing it because I have to. Yeah, I might be slightly influenced and doing it because this is the alternative. If I don't, I'm going to stay in the pit. And this is what will happen in my life or my marriage and my relationships. Ultimately it's got to be something that excites you and that you're engaged with and that you're really driven towards. It's got meaning, fulfillment and purpose. And from that you'll get significance when you reach it. If you're not quite sure of that, you need to create that first and follow a process of establishing what that end outcome looks like and then peel it back. When we're looking at battles, these are your shorter measures. You don't want to set a long term goal and go, okay, well let's take all the actions to get there. It's proven, man, it's been proven with thousands of people, companies, organizations, massive little. Like, it should be a universal law. Like, what you need to do is set that site, but then you need to peel it all the way back to the year, to the quarter, to the month, to the week, to the day. And that's exactly what our high performance father journal does. It removes all the stress, all the bullshit. I'm not going, hey, between seven and eight, I'm doing a podcast between eight and nine. You don't need that shit, man. You truly don't. What's the one most important thing that I need to do from which if I do this, everything else will become easier? Okay, Beautiful. Bang. That's all I need to do. All right. When am I going to do that with my family? When I'm going to do it with myself? When I'm going to do it with business? Bang. Lock it in. It's very simple. Up early this morning, training. Beautiful. Now I'm dialing in my work. Awesome. 1:00pm off with the family. Like, it's so easy. I can't express. Like, yes, there's initial discomfort and unease with breaking the chain of the current mold of who you are. But fuck, man, it's so, so much easier than the alternative, which is chaos, stress, regret. Long term, so much easier. I'll put it to you this way. If you're unsure, mate, as we wrap this up, if you're unsure or not clear about what you need to do, where you need to start, you're not alone, man. Like, you are not alone. But I'll ask you this question because it's all about asking quality questions and then again, seeking perspective, gaining clarity, and then moving. The question is this. If you're not sure where to get or what the low hanging fruit is, so to speak, if every other area of your life remained at its current level of performance, what's the one area where change would have the greatest impact? If every area of your life remained at its current level of performance, what's the one key area where changing that would have the greatest impact? You know, it's very simple to establish from there, isn't it? Instead of going, where should I start? It's like, oh, what have. What would have the greatest impact? You start to ponder, you start to question and have a look at yourself and what you're doing. Like, if it's all right. My relationships are struggling at the moment. Well, is that the key area, Is that the band aid or is that the source? Why is your relationship struggling with your wife? I'm fucking exhausted. I'm getting no sleep, man. I've got no energy and I'm leaving off coffees, but beautiful. Why is that the case, man? I've got no structure with my time. I don't have any energy. You know, I haven't trained in ages. I'm not eating very well. Bang. Beautiful. What's the one key area? All right, cool. What's your current timeline look like? Okay, do we need to time block? Is that the one? Is it training? Is it nutrition, is it sleep? And just peel the layers back and go, cool. Well, this week this is what I'm gonna do. Al. No tech time after 9 o'. Clock. By 10 o', clock, I'm in bed, man, and that's it. Like, I need to get seven or eight hours of quality sleep every single night. No more Netflix and watching that sort of shit. This is what I need to do. This would have the greatest impact because if I wake up with more energy, I'm going to make better decisions when it comes to food. And if I've got more energy, guess what? I'll be able to go for that walk that I want to go for. Take the dogs for a walk or spend more time with the Mrs. Or I can think more clearly or I can help out around the house more. Beautiful, mate. You found your answer. Like that's all you need to do. It's not peeling the onion back 10 layers. It's not going seven layers deep, asking why all that sort of shit. It's very simple, man. If every other area of your life stayed the same, what's the one area that'll have the greatest impact? Fucking bang. Go ask those questions. Dig, dig. Find it. Boom. Expose it. Execute. Focus. Leverage, engagement, accountability. All right, Focus is what I need to do. I need to set my alarms. This is the sleep that I'm having. Leverage. Awesome. This is what I'm going to do to leverage that. I'm going to set some key actions that I need to do. At 6am, I'm going to get up and I'm going to read or go for a walk. I'm going to make the family breakfast. Also at nighttime, I'm going to turn that leverage into engagement. I'm going to communicate with my family. Hey guys, I'm going to go to bed at 9:30 tonight. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to make breaking in the morning. It's going to be nice. I've gone down the shops, I've gotten some nice food and this is how we're going to start the day right. I think it's important we get some good routine in place. Awesome. You've just tripled up and gone leverage, engagement, accountability, fucking bang in one go. So when you don't feel like doing it for yourself, when you wake up at 6 o' clock and you're not used to it, or 5 o' clock or 7 o', clock, when you have that extra sleep, A, you'll feel better. B, you're engaged and you've got leverage through the actions that you're going to lead with, which means C, that engagement and leverage of the actions you're taking creates accountability, which creates the results and the rewards of not just yourself, but those around and outside of you as well. Very powerful man. Principles of execution that is so closely wound and tightened up with or tied into and tightened up with the battles. Because if you don't have it tight, you're going to lead with chaos, fear, stress, and nothing will come about from this. Which means your environment, your influence, the people you're around, there will become a toxicity and a poisonous nature from which nothing will become clear. You will self sabotage. You will not be in the right headspace or framework and you will not be able to break through and win the wars. This is why the RDM tribe is the greatest that I've ever been part of. It is phenomenal. This is why when we're looking at execution battles to win the war, growing or dying, your environment, the most important thing the high performance father journal. It's not hard, man. Like, it's not that hard. It is not as hard as you think. I'm not here to paint rainbows and smiles. Yes, there's discomfort. Yes, there's breakthroughs. Yes, you need to move some shit and get out of your own way. Yes, you need to change the way that you think. You need allow us to enter your world and shift some of the and create some influence and shift some of the thought patterns that you currently have. But if you're not happy with the current version of who you are, why would you listen to them anyway? Doesn't make sense to me. When you do this, I promise you, this is our guarantee. You come, you meet us halfway, you don't act like a victim and you let us move the mountains with you and for you. And you meet us and we build this data, we build the facts, we build the feelings. We guarantee you, man, this will change your life. Not just this podcast episode, the other podcast episodes, what we do in idm, all of this, this will create a phenomenal change in life from which like compound interest. This leads to massive changes. I can't believe how much I've changed in the last three months, let alone three years. But this leads to huge like exponential growth and scaling of who you are as a human being and how you perform in your life with a rich and fulfilling life in those three areas of what makes your life family, self and service. I hope you enjoyed this podcast episode. Above all else. This is the key. Take action. If you need to listen to this again, 25 minutes, listen to this again. It's worth it if it's going to dial in some actions you need to take. What's the one to two most important things across those areas of my life that I need to focus on? One most important thing. Second thing, if I've got time, awesome path, how do I get there? Is it relevant? Am I getting perspective, gaining clarity and then keep moving? Am I continuing to move forward? Is there a deadline I need to execute and get from X to Y by Z non negotiable. That will drive you as well. And take action and start with one. If every other area of your life remained the same current level of performance, what's the one area where change would have the greatest impact? And I promise you mate, that one question alone backed with some thoughts, some thinking and then true power learn. Do reflect not just knowledge, true power learn it. Learn what you need to do, apply that and then reflect on the actions to review, adjust course and go again. I promise you man, that one thing alone will create great changes in your life this week, this month and this year. Take care and I'll see you for another episode soon. Cheers.