Episode 261. "I was skeptical at first, now it's transformed my life"

Hey, if you're someone who really connects to this message and you know there's someone out there who needs to hear this, but they're too proud. The walls are up. You can't show them. No worries. Flick them the link, share this podcast, send them the link. They can listen to it in the car, in the comfort of their own home, behind closed doors, in private privacy. Listen, absorb, and you know you are creating impact to change. There are so many people in pain who need to hear this message, who need to empower themselves, take their control and power back and get back in front. Appreciate you all, much respect. Enjoy the episode and again, share the love, spread the love and let's create impact and change across the world. Cheer. We've got one of the great leaders in HBF with us today. Mr. Sean Hutton. Hutto is one of the established leaders and not senior by age. The man's only 25 years old, but you're looking good, mate.

Looking good, look 85.

Not at all, not at all. Amazing podcast in the works with you guys today to really get value out of this man who's had an incredible journey with hpf. He's one of the stand up leaders and mate, all the members fucking love him. He's such a legend, a great man. Mr. Sean Hutton, great to have you with us today, mate. Thank you for sharing the time.

Thanks for having me, mate. It's a bit of an honor, a bit of a. Bit of a privilege to jump on with you and have a, have a bit of a chin wag for sure.

Hey, bloody earth. What's really interesting, because I was thinking of the title for this is like from the most HPF hate filled skeptical man to a true fan for life. Is that what we call it, mate? Or you were a bit. We're a bit unsure. It's like, who's this, who's this redhead who's fucking swearing on the ads? Who's telling me about my life?

The angry Italian redhead. Yeah, scary man. Yeah, hateful is probably a strong, a strong, a strong word. But skeptical, definitely. Yeah, just I guess bitten too often and yeah, always skeptical of someone that promises the world and you know, obviously not many deliver. Unlike your good self, mate.

It's because of the men like you that make it, you know, but it's, it's, it really is a, it's a tough, it's a tough landscape part on this is for everyone. Whether you remember listening to this or not. Like, it's. That's really hard. It's really hard, man, because it's rightfully so that a lot of the world, especially today, or maybe it was always in existence, but today we can see it more. With the access and spread of technology. A lot of the world is full of shit. But then who drives. Who drives that? People. So that's the hard part. Huddle. Because a lot of men are full of shit too. You know what I mean? This is the hard part, where it's like, okay, we're connecting. Okay, well, can we help Sean Hutton? Is he a good fit for us? Can we help him, though? You know, are we a good fit for him? And finding that sweet spot, it's like, hey, man, would you believe, rare in today's world, let's have a fucking handshake agreement as gentlemen and go, let's go all in together and see where this goes. And so I deeply respect you for that, mate, because I get it. It's not easy doing this into our. Heading into our eighth season now. It is tough. It's tough for us. It's tough for everyone. It's tough for the man. The delicate part is which you're solid with man. You're really good and credit to you. But the delic. Given that you, like said you've been bitten before. But the delicate part is how do we help the man? Don't worry about us, choose us or don't. How do we help the man see past his own stories? Because that's man, that's what I've seen over the years, mate. That's always a limiting factor. At best, we reach version 1.6 instead of 8.7 with some room to go before we leave the earth. But what I found funny, that, and we'll come back to that, is the skepticism was actually reflecting on how support and how genuine the men reaching out to support you was. I think from memory, it was like, this can't be real. All these guys want me to win and they're really supportive and championing me. And I think they might admit it. But. But we'll come back to that anyway, mate. But. But was that right? Is that what led to the. This can't be real, you know, but

yeah, it was very much like everyone had positive, genuine things to say. And it was. And like you say, you know, today's world, in a corporate environment particularly, but even. Even in. In the. In the social world, you're trying to knock people down. That tall poppy thing, or it's, you know, you're in it for yourself. You're trying to gain ground. You think the way to do that is to climb over others. And that was the mindset I took or have had and it's sort of held me or got me to where it was. I was going to say held me in high, you know, high stead but probably not because it sort of got, got me to where I was. But yeah, that, that genuine place and, and it just sounded fake. It was like I think you said to me one day like we've hired 450 actors just to get you on board, Sean. Like it's, it's, it's. It took me a long time to, to bust that skepticism down and once I realized that it was, it just became a warming. Yeah, really heartwarming place to be and, and the benefit started to really flow. Yeah. And it was just a magic place to be around then. Just. It's easy to go all in when you know the guys are going to hold you up if you fall. It's just. Yeah, it's just an amazing place really.

Oh mate, the tribe's everything and like I said, you know, respect to myself, the coaches, all the other moving parts that make it what is in the service and deliverables. It's absolutely. The men. You've cost me a lot of money, Sean. Those 450 actors weren't cheap, mate. You know, they've all just invoiced me. It's, it's. How long has it been? How long have you been with us for now? 14 months.

Yeah, just, just ticked over 12 months. So yeah, I think it's probably money well spent really to be honest.

Up to your second season. And we're staffing 450 people for Shauna to re sign for season two. But look it's, we're not quite there yet with the physical catch ups where I can just engineer AI robots with human skins. So those people are real. But now look, it's a, it's a privilege and an honor mate to share your story today. I'd love to. Well, let's learn more about yourself. I'd love for you to share with the guys listening to this today just a bit of your history, your background mate. And then we can navigate towards yeah, life as a father, husband, as a man, you know, trying to provide and. But we'd love to learn a little bit more about yourself mate and where you've come from. Yeah, sure.

So I'm 55, happily married now. I've got a couple of adult kids, daughter's 25, son's 22. They both got very good grounded Partners, they've landed on their feet quite well, you know, pretty proud of both of them. I'm a sparky by trade. Spent a lot of time growing up playing Aussie rules and the last 20 odd years I spent some time doing some martial arts. I dabbled in karate. Always been in leadership roles I guess most of my life. I was captain of the footy club early on and things like that. It just sort of seemed to evolve that way for me. Found, found life was starting to get hold of me a little bit and sort of dragged me down to a point. But yeah, I guess I live on a bit of property so a bit of work around the house is good for me on the weekends. But yeah, trying to recruit, recruit the family into that has been a bit of a battle and I've struggle with that a little bit. But I think where I'm at now, project managing for a fire alarm company so got a few guys that work under me there, deal with some high profile clients there which have their, have their way. Yeah along those, those sort of lines

I guess the, you'll find incredible mate. And it's nothing against the, the older bulls as well because we've got men that are older and men that are younger. But I would say our sweet spot is definitely in the 40s, which I'm sure you'd agree. But it's like it, it's, it's really tough for me because I just love the old, the older bulls that have so much wisdom and, and they add so much value back into the community. But also what I found historically Haro is they're definitely more rigid. Like they're just, they're less resistance. They're as rigid as your shoulder mate after you had that operation. But look, they are, they're, they're less resistant to change and, but they've got so much more to give. Like I really want to just plant that seed for men, whether in your 30s or not. Like it will go quickly 40s or you are in your 50s, similar to Hutto. It's like man, like these are, these can still really be power years, you know, and, and you can always have power and influence. You can be a man in his 80s who's just filled with incredible stories, wisdom and mentorship. Like it, it never ends. But as a man with that primal power, mate, absolutely. And well into your 60s. And so I always have a, not to compare members but I always do have a deeper appreciation, respect for some of the older bulls who join mate, because a lot of the times either Life has knocked them around too much and they're too broken or they're just too resistant to change and they do stay set in their ways. I'm just curious on that for a minute because sounds like high pressure role. You know, you're obviously working very hard as a leader professionally. You've got kids who are now growing and, or grown up. And so that would come with its own challenges with navigating, supporting them as they learned about the, the big wide world as we all do, and then a seasoned relationship. But then there's. There's Sean and himself physically, mentally, emotionally pouring into his cup like, where did, where did all this come from? Where did this drive come from at 54 years of age to go, no, I want more out of life and, and I don't want to do it alone and I want to go to another level and, and because that's us, man. All in. Keep going and growing. Like. I don't know. Where did that come from?

Yeah, I guess it, it sort of came from a want for something more. A bit of a realization that I was sinking into a bit of a dark hole. So I guess I had to go down quite, quite far to realize that there was more or that I needed to find more. So, you know, I was lost. I was, I was just surviving. I was drained. I found myself being negative. I come from a, you know, two parents that were. They had a bit of a negative outlook towards their latter part in life just, just from what happened to them, and they let that build up and become a big story for them. So I turned into this grumpy old man, which I didn't enjoy listening to, let alone being, let alone, you know, the perception of others on that. I was questioning everything and everyone that I loved. I was questioning motivations behind what they were doing, what they were saying. I was, yeah, I was just in a, in a, in a bit of a bad, bad place there. Imposter syndrome. I didn't feel like I belonged in the leadership roles that I was currently in. My health was slipping, body was breaking down. Just lots of little negative things that made me realize that there's only one way from here if I don't change something. So I was slipping down. So, yeah, I just had to start start looking around, I guess, and just seeing, you know, I dabbled in a couple of things with some fitness programs and got some body. Body conditioning back and some things like that. But yeah, the living with a regret, I think really dragged me down. I had had some regrets with just how how I'd lived my life up until that point. So I guess once you realize that if you keep going along that path, there's only. There's only negative things that can come from that. It's time to. To course correct and find that. That new way. So I don't know how it happened. Yeah. Whether I just stumbled upon it, but yeah, I found. Found the HPF on Facebook, I think it was. Found a line that really grabbed me and so I just looked into it a bit further. So found a video which led me to a podcast which basically grabbed me from there and changed. Changed the way I looked at everything. At least gave me some. I guess it gave me a little bit of. Of justification of how I got to where I was. And it wasn't just me being in a negative place or doing the wrong things, if you like. So it sort of gave me some justification. I realized that there was others that were doing the same sort of thing and we're heading down that same path. You know, I didn't get to the point where I lost my relationship, but I was, I was pretty close and I was sort of getting to the point where I was blaming my wife and accusing her of things that just weren't happening and that just. It started messing with my head, you know, quite, quite heavily. And that. That sort of snowballed and dragged me down even further. So, yeah, it was, it was a. It was a bit of a tough time that made me go looking for something. And yeah, I'm just so lucky to. To have found HPF was there. It basically shone a light, so I followed it.

What's really interesting about that is what I picked up was three. Three key things. There is the choices that you made. And I don't know if that comes back to the long game of martial arts we've spoken before about. This is quite a very incrementally disciplined game where you'll make big leaps and then it's this very small, long, consistent. What interests me is like three key things which I'll share. I just jotted down what you're sharing. The third thing is you're not alone, is what most men go through, typically in their 40s. So you've done well. Maybe that's because of your background, both in sport and all. The men who reach out to HBF have high performing, something like they've got high performance. They're not duds. So you've done the work, doing the work. So for you, maybe you could extend that a bit more into your 50s. But typically this is definitely a common thing we see. So that's the third point. You're not alone. But the other two is where it was going. I saw where it was going out and the second one was through. Sounded like a podcast or maybe an ad. And then you looked into the podcast, you actually got clarity on how life came to be and get there. And this is a common thing for a lot of men. So I could see where this was actually going. I found the answer on how my life came to be, which helped remove, whether it's self judgment or outward blame, an acknowledgement and acceptance of, wow, this is a life that also. Third point a lot of men go through is that. Is that fair to say, mate? They were probably three key things. And how'd you have that vision, though? I'm curious, because a lot of men don't see where it's going as much as we have that visionary in us, and then it all just fucking falls apart.

Yeah, I'm not sure how I found that, but I could tell I had moments of clarity, if you like. So I guess my wife was still being a loving supporting partner, although we had our, I guess, emotional separation differences. I could see in the moments of clarity how a lot of the cause for these, our, our disruption was my outlook on it. So that really flagged something to me to say this is all coming or stemming from you or at least, at least I'm making it worse by, by thinking along these lines. So that, that I guess gave me a little bit of clarity to, to realize that I need to do something to change it if I'm going to save this and for myself, I need to, I need to change the way I'm thinking about it. I need to get a thicker skin. I need to, you know, there's lots of little things that were just cutting me up that just had no reason to, and it was just. Just because I was so. Got myself in such a weakened state. And there's a lot of factors that got me to that point which are individual and we probably don't need to go into here. Doesn't really matter. But the point is you get to that and they're not unusual factors. I guess. Guys, men, fathers, we all go through those things through life that do affect you and drag you down and you do get to a point where they become too heavy and it does hurt you and you do become in a weakened state. So things do get, you know, it's that straw that break the camel's back type type scenario. So, yeah, I found that podcast and I remember the number because I've referred it and I've actually sent a lot of guys there to have a listen to it when I can hear them making that same assessment of themselves. So. And it's all about a guy and his stories and how those stories affect his mindset and how they are not individual or special stories. Everyone sort of. Every man has those sort of stories and it kind of affects us all the same. So that was a bit of a groundbreaking thing for me to, to realize that this isn't just an unusual, you know, I'm not the world's most special person all this stuff is happening to, and I'm. I'm now on a path where, you know, no other man's trod before. So to realize that and look, go looking for help in that area, I think, yeah, that, that podcast probably probably turned me around. And I don't know if it was the first one I listened to, but it must have been around that. Cause I wouldn't have kept listening if the. If the podcast I was listening to weren't. Weren't leading me to that area. But yeah, that, that one definitely got me, Got me, Got me hooked listening to more. And that podcasts, actually, they helped for a while too. Like, you know, as a strong man, that's been, you know, I was pretty successful on paper, but the, the negative voice was sort of overriding some of that success and I was getting louder and louder and louder. So to find that boost from listening to a few podcasts, it got me to a point where I started to talk to myself again in a positive way. And that helped for a while, but I was just too in. Too weak in the state to really do that by myself. So it took 30 or 40 podcasts or whatever it was before I finally reached out and made the call. But what's the rush? But yeah, once I, once I made the call and I think, well, you actually called me and you're a persuasive fellow at times. So once I realized the environment I was looking into, the weight just lifted off and I just didn't have just not looked back since.

Yes, mate, that sounds really. What sort of. Yeah, well, who's the podcast mile I have to listen to? Is that a hpf one or what's one of yours? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. 191. 193. A man in his stories, I believe.

191, you know.

Oh, yes. Not bad.

I was gonna test it on that to see if you Know, babies. But yeah, well done.

Still got it. Still got. What are we up to? 2,6 this.261. I think it's so weird how. Because I look back then and that was a really impactful podcast. But also, Shauna, that was like. That was. That was a few years ago now, you know, because I'm probably only. Yeah, I want to do more, more podcasts more frequently. Which is. Which I definitely want to share the members stories, mate, as well and then Al's insights and build that rhythm again. But I think at a stage with the throat issues and whatnot, I was only doing maybe 25 to 30 a year, so that might have been like three and a half years ago, but that made that one there and then there's a few. You know, 163 is pretty powerful. Why you keep pushing your wife away. But mate, that's. It's so impactful. Understanding the value of. Not the value, but getting the value of your perspective to remove yourself from these stories. Like understanding that, hey, they're not actually you and, and they all lead to the same position and they're either going to help you or hinder you. And it's. That's pretty cool, man. Look, some men have listened to a couple of hundred, so you're not doing too bad in terms of what's the rush. But I remember, I remember our call though I don't do those consults and I love that those consults are driven by the men, the members, which is awesome. You know, shout out to those boys and as Mike, Birdie and Maddie, like they're just members sharing their story and connecting with men on the outside. It's. It's amazing. No, no. Seek.com. but you know, like it's, it's at that time though. Yeah, mate, I remember our call vividly and, and I saw a really genuine man that I just wanted to serve and, and so call it persuasive, call whatever you want. But I was like this, this dude's like, you know, that's a. That's honestly harder. That's the hardest thing, man. Like, I see and I know like you're. You're my senior and you're a wise man. Like you've seen a lot, you've done a lot. But in. In my eyes with what I've done, I always see the fucking best in people and I can see 2.0 before you can. And that's, that's the whole fucking point. Right? That's how. As I should as a leader in this space and Serving in this space. But hardest part for me, man, is actually removing my personal attachment, seeing another man and his family win so it doesn't come across like I'm Mr. Fucking positive promotional Guy. Cause I know that's just a flag that pushes a lot of people away, because that's how a lot of the world tries to exchange value and get money and make sales. You know, it's because when we spoke, I was like, oh, this is such a. Like, this is what was going through my mind. This is how it's hard. I was like, this dude's such a fucking legend, man. Like, but I can't tell him that because then he'll think his life's all right and he's got real problems, so I gotta help protect him from his own stories and. But hang on. It's not about you, Alan, what you. It's what can you do to serve this man. So remember an agenda that you really like. This dude. Forget that you actually called him, you know, accidentally called him Dad a couple of times on the console. Just keep moving forward, mate. But I'm just kidding. I just had to sneak it in. I thought that was your nickname. Is that. It was Eric Lyon. No. But, yes, It's. It's pretty cool, mate. I really respect all you men listening to this or watching the ones we put on YouTube, but giving you time and energy. You're an absolute pillar when it comes to the culture now, Hutto, which is phenomenal. But in your wisdom, what do you see? Like, you mentioned accountability, or you mentioned hard to just be upbeat with podcasts alone. Why should accountability even exist, mate? Why do you think it's valuable, like HBF or not? Like, man to man? I think it's absolutely paramount. A man keeps another man guided, supported, in check, whatever you want to call it, but because he's walking the same path. But why do you think accountability is important? Why does it matter, do you think? In today's world and with men who are striving to build greatness and so

on and so forth, I think accountability is a very powerful term. You can have accountability with your peers and the people around you. In our case, on the inside here with the tribe, you don't want to let people down. So there's a sense of almost performance where you've got to try and get yourself up to a certain level. And if you say you're going to try and achieve something, you don't want to be judged as not achieving that. So that's a fairly powerful tool to get you To a point where it clicks that you really need to be accountable to yourself. So the accountability that really makes the genuine difference in your life and your mindset is the accountability to yourself. That trust that you build with yourself from keeping yourself accountable is the probably the golden. The golden ticket really to your next level, I reckon. So that to me, I certainly wasn't accountable to myself. I would tell myself certain things and straight away, you know you're not going to achieve it or not going to follow through. And what that does, it just undermines everything that you have from a strength or a confidence level. So that really rattles your own confidence. So that. That's a really tough thing to come to terms with, that you've been doing that for so long. But it's also powerful to realize that you haven't been accountable to yourself. And once you've got that shift, I think from there you can basically talk yourself into anything and do anything. That's been a real positive spin for me and I've used it a few times. Like I said, I've had some health issues that have set me back a little bit.

And

the old me would have gone down into a negative place and used it as a woe. Me as another thing on my whole negative connotation. Now the mind is strong purely because I can trust myself. I know if I'm going to say I'm going to do something, I follow through. And the perfect way I've found to do that is to look at myself in the mirror. Not just at myself, but deep into my own eyes and promise it to myself. Once I've acknowledged that I've promised it to myself, then there's just no way you can back down from that. There's just, you know, you might as well give up. You've got to be, you know that accountability is just. Is so strong. That's powerful.

Yeah, it's interesting looking at that because what you mentioned, I agree with as well. Like that in, in many aspects, man, you're only ever really accountable to yourself. But then that last piece you shared, I actually just wrote a few notes here because I'm working through this and that's what I love about this stuff. I'm always in a state of either learning or bringing context to just all these fucking words. People just throw up and think that there's some assumed meaning behind them. You only ever really can be accountable to yourself. That's important, fellows. That's like universal law number one. And you've heard that before. The only person you have to answer to is yourself, the man in the mirror, so on, so forth. So why do we struggle then when we're left to our own devices, even though we're only accountable to ourself? And these are the notes I had. Why is accountability valuable? Because you can use it through the eyes of others. But what you're actually trying to be accountable to, first and foremost is a future better version of yourself and a future better life. So let's just break that down quickly. Accountability to me is valuable because I'm being accountable to growth, development, follow through and through that consistency, improving my position. And we're all humans who will decay and eventually die as organisms. But ultimately with our life we want to improve in some aspect in family, self and service, be it physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. So if that's the case, then why do I struggle when I'm accountable to myself? Well, because where you're spending most of your time is with the current version when you're looking in the mirror. It's the current version when you look deep into your eyes, Sean, and you say that you're looking deep into Sean, 2.6 or 3.7 or so. How do we get there? You leverage others. And there's a few different things. Because if the value of accountability is you're actually really accountable to the future better version of you and what that means for you and your family, well then you need to one visualization, actually see that version. But even if you spend four hours a day doing that, which you wouldn't know and would, you're still spending 12 hours a day in your current shell, in your current existence and thoughts. So you definitely need visualization though that's a powerful one because I can see who our 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.0 can become. Powerful. What's the other one? Well, who else has got what I want or doing what I want to do? Ah, other people. Well, if that's the case, and it's very tightly aligned and connected, it's got to be a man, typically a father, and someone who, whether it's family, self or service, is a few steps ahead. Okay, fantastic. So real life examples and models outside of yourself that the current version can then aspire to. And they are the two big things that I that I can see here where it's like these notes that I've written. Accountability. The only reason for it is to maintain a path and trajectory towards what is you desire, which is typically above and beyond where you are now. Otherwise why would you aspire for anything? Firstly, secondly, the Reason why it doesn't work on your own gentlemen is because you are now combating the current version that doesn't want to be the same. Like I don't wanna be the same, mate. I've fucking changed three times this year. We're only six months in. I wanna keep going and growing and I'm obsessed with that. I mean that's hopefully pretty. What that means though is the battle you face with the desires you have alone is always a battle with the current version of who you are. Shit, tough thing to then match even if I'm doing my own. But that's where a really overwhelming force of both, a combination of Sean, can you see who you can become, mate? This is what's possible for you. So the third piece here is focus into commitment into action. So if you have someone who can help you focus on Sean 3.0 drive the path possible. The actions encourage and foster the follow through commitment coupled with others who are already there and or on the path. Connection buy in believability stories dissolved coupled with in your own time, deep in the mirror, the visualization of your commitments falling through being a man of your word and where you'll get to. How could you fucking lose? It's so interesting, isn't it mate? Like that. I truly see, I'm not sure your take on that but I truly see that as. That's why accountability exists. But that's why the dichotomy of it or the irony of it is even though you're only ever accountable to yourself, it's almost impossible to do it with yourself, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, absolutely. I think being accountable to others definitely drives you to. That's the whole not letting people down. And I think I've had a little bit of a breakthrough with that I guess with myself now that I've got to that level to understand that. But yeah, when you, when you are in a bad negative head space it is very, very hard to self motivate and keep yourself accountable. It almost, almost contradicts itself. You can't really keep yourself accountable when you've got yourself into that bad position to begin with. So that's, that's a, that's a powerful thing to, to realize and build the skill set to actually be able to do that to yourself, to be honest with yourself. That's, that's probably the, the key there. If you promise something to yourself then you've got to follow through. Otherwise you've got nothing left really, have you? You've. You let yourself down. How Are you going to be able to supply the goods to everyone? Anyone else? You know, you've got to. You've got to be honest to yourself. So that accountability, I think is. Is paramount.

For sure, mate. Agree 100 and you gotta think like, typically, especially as men and fathers wanting to provide. It's in our DNA, man. We, we are somewhat sacrificial creatures. I mean, you'll see whether it's spiders or praying mantises getting one into their misses and getting eaten alive while they're still poking away, like, isn't that great? Well, it's not that we're praying mantises and I hope that never happens to a man where he's making love to his wife and getting eaten at the same time. But I tell you, like, we are inherently. And I've seen that and it was actually really sad where I saw a. Yeah, like a deer and gazelle sacrifice himself, where a crocodile was gunning straight for the baby and he just jumps in and just gets axed. And it's like. Well, that was, that was actually a horrific video. But you see the. But you see that we're naturally sacrificial creatures. So it's like, it's like a good sacrifice. Like, I don't want to let others down is what I mean. So that's a really powerful thing. Hey, Harto, don't let me down, man. Can you follow through on this? Oh, yeah. Cool. So it's actually good. I'm gonna sacrifice the lesser version, the naysayer, the trinkets and treats and bullshit. Sedation, distraction. Like, I'm gonna throw that away. So it's not really a sacrifice, but it's a bind to not let others down. It goes hand in hand with. Well, you're cutting away things that don't matter, but you're leveraging and using other people's dependency on you following through. I don't think that's specifically ego or pride either, mate. I think it's valuable. But why it's valuable is, like you mentioned, hard cycle to get out of when you're feeling sorry for yourself. So if you don't feel like doing it for yourself, cool, do it for someone else. Hey, I don't feel like doing this podcast today, but you know, I'm going to do it for Hutto and not. Not. That's true, mate. I was, I was really excited. It was like Christmas time I jumped down. I was looking for a stocking on the wall because it's. But no, look, it's. It. But true though. Right. Like, actually, I've had a headache for most of the day. It's tough, man. Dehydrated and got my new whoop band and trying to track all things and get me electrolytes and turned 40 in August. I'm trying to dial it in and probably undernourished yesterday and. But just the sheer commitment and accountability to you today, mate, I feel fantastic since we, you know, since we're talking before we hit record. How good. So when you don't feel like doing it for yourself, do it for yourself through doing it for others and don't allow yourself to get in the way. What do you. On a bigger global level, man, like, it's. You obviously understand that the mission and how we're here for the family nucleus, the spine of that, the fathers, and really helping engineer a better society through this mission. But what. What do you see on a bigger picture, mate? What's some of the real struggles that men go through? Is it that isolation, being alone, thinking it's only me? Look, what do you think are some real struggles that fathers in their late 30s and 40s are really facing in today's world? And then, I guess, thoughts and advice on how to turn things around and start to combat that and then we'll dive into. I guess some of the things you've done with hpf.

Yeah, I guess the thing I can see would be that they get in their own head and that negative talk comes in and becomes all consuming. I guess it's the little things, you know, what's that thing? Death by a thousand cuts. You know, you get that little negative connotation. You talk to yourself negative, someone else talks to you negatively. When you're. When you're a man growing up, you're. You're strong, you're bulletproof, you go through life with an intent, you get yourself to a position in life. I found as those little cuts or those little negative chats came in, it knocked me right down. So I think when a man gets in his own head like that, he finds it really hard to see the actual picture, the bigger picture. So to be able to zoom out, we talk about it here in hpf, that ability to be able to zoom out and see what the big picture is and how that's happening becomes almost impossible when you get in your own head, you just can't do that. So that's the big thing I found, at least, was I just couldn't get myself clear and thinking clearly. So I think as blokes go through life, they try their intent is to provide for their family. They think the best thing to do is to get out there, work as hard as they can. They almost come back with an entitlement when they get home. You know, the family should be here and respecting what I'm trying to do because I'm doing this for them. And really, really it is because it almost becomes an ego hit to the, to the father. It did for me at least when I was coming home. And you're still having to put up with the day to day stuff. So that eats away a little bit. And when you get yourself into a negative head space, I think that that compounds. So it's hard to listen to the real world I guess when you're, when you're in that space. So the little voice can be. There's two little voices. I always say there's two little voices. It's a negative one and there's a positive one. So to. You need both I guess in life to a degree. But the negative voice just needs to be, and you've said it before al, how it needs to be, how not to do it if you like. And it might be the voice of balance in a way at times, but you need to understand that that's the thing that's holding you down and keeping, keeping you, keeping you back. You need to listen to the positive voice inside you, which is there as well. So whatever's the loudest voice is the one you're going to follow. You need to really listen and acknowledge that positive voice. That's the one that's going to drive you forward. When you're in a negative headspace, it's very hard to do that. So that accountability that we talked about before, that support from your peers, the mindset change, the strength in yourself, it allows that positive voice to be a bit louder and drives you forward. So elevates, elevates you to where you need to be. So that's probably the biggest thing I've found. And talking to some of the guys you know here that we're in our squads and in the hpf we do our catch ups and stuff, it can easily consume you. So to have that positive influence from others chatting around you, just to reset that, quieten them both down so that you can then make a judgment call on who to listen to and what to listen to, I think that's probably one of the big things I've found anyway.

Yeah, I always find the two voice inside, like I said, the little voice inside, shedding light on what not to do. Right. But like you said it's like this. Not even necessarily evil. It's just part of who you are. But what that puts you in, though, is a state of being up in your head, you know, and whether it's ego or not, there's different emotions that then feed off the back of that. Yeah, obviously fear being one of them. The other one, the positive voice, I really. And you're spot on too, mate. Very hard to use and flex the positive voice inside when the. The negative, the little voice becomes so fucking loud. But I actually attribute that positive voice and could be wrong, but for me, symbolically, I see that positive voice is more your intuition. That's a big thing I'm big on. I'm like, mate, always trust your gut. Listen to your gut follow through that. But like all things, mate, that's an actual muscle. So if you don't develop and train and be very intuitive and not instinctual with survival, but intuitive, and that intuition, the little voice just becomes too fucking loud. And then you're pragmatically or logically trying to process things whilst you're in an unstable state of fear. Loss, anxiety, worry, doubt. It's such a contradiction in itself. Instead of just building that muscle of that intuition and acting on that. I've been punched in the face. I have so many losses, so many failures, but I don't know how to lose. And that's. That's the difference with a lot of these men, Sean, that they need to understand despite the overwhelm, having an environment like you mentioned, that can stabilize the good and the bad and bring you back to center on what's true for you is invaluable, man, because here's the thing. The difference between winners and losers isn't the path. Everyone in this fucking world, mate, everyone in this world has a choice whether they want to strive for more or not. And everyone in this world doesn't have a clear path. You can't see, that's why most people lose. The mass is a majority. The reason why they never strive for anything worth achieving in life and anything above and beyond, at best, quote, unquote, above average, is because they don't have any clarity or certainty on the path to get there. But no one fucking does. The difference between winners and losers is the winners actually will go, all right, well, let's fucking create the path. And one of the best ways you can do that, mate, is one, the tribe like you mentioned, having people around you to stabilize your head, your mind, your heart. But two, to really build that and take action and Commit off the back of the positive voice, that, that, that gut, that intuition. How have you found. I'd love to get some shares, I guess through. You're always made as a valued member and leader. Like your journey hpf, how you found it all, how it's, how it's all still going for you, mate, obviously being in season two now. But how are you finding it all, mate? And what's been some of the results and the experiences and real takeaways for you so far throughout the journey?

Yeah, like, like you mentioned, actually, I was thinking about this a bit earlier. I wrote something down. It's funny you mentioned that before. I wrote down, I don't know how I'm going to win. I just know I'm not going to lose. I think that's the mindset shift that's happened now after joining HPF is that there is no, no alternative really, but winning. So you've got no choice. You're a father, so you can't, you can't not win. You have to win. You have to win for your family. So I guess as fathers, we all know that, but it didn't really hit home to me until I've spent some time and like you say you do, you do the reps, it's that muscle memory, you do the work on that. So to actually have the forum and the ecosystem to encourage that has really made that hit home for me and that's my future is to try and encourage other men to do that same thing. Now my kids are adults now, so I've missed that window early on, you know, with my own son, to try and instill that, I guess, from an early age. So I can sort of see some of those things I would probably do differently now if I was as, as evolved as I am now for that, for that time period. So it's really important for me now to try and instill some of that into, into some of the men. Now we still have those young kids that I can see as just starting to go down that, that pathway of making similar mistakes. So that's become a fairly passionate driving force for me in hpf. It's the reason I stay as up as I am and as involved as I am. It encourages me to keep, keep going and keep growing so that I can think of better ways to make that happen for other, other men to help build their legacies. So that, that's been a very, very powerful driving force for me. You know, some of the things I've really got out of HPF is understanding the communication is important, like being present in a communication stream. So I used to go through life and be involved in conversations but not necessarily be involved quite as much as I am now. So I've really found my communication level has improved and being involved in the conversation and helping frame some of that. So that helps with some of the, the men that we're dealing with. It helps with my own family. I've found, you know, navigating some storms, understanding where those people are feeling where that feeling is coming from, understanding that I guess and helping them try and course correct there. That's something that I've really grabbed out of hpf. It's helped me sort of reset my, through the circles of sin of significance. You know, the family self and service become that better leader and family helped me be a little bit more honest with myself. It's elevated my physical and mental levels with my service. It's helped me realign where my energy is going, refocusing where that is. So not sort of doing as many of the right things for the wrong people at times. So I'm really finding I have a, I guess not a power. That's not the right word for it but it's like an energy that I need to share with the other guys that I find when we get together we do good things. So that's something that drives me as well. Yeah. I guess the brotherhood that we have has really got me to a point where I'm starting to think about other things in life than just trying to get through to retirement and surviving. So there's a bit there.

It's just a little bit, mate. Now look what a great outlook that you have and perspective on leadership. That's, it's. Fuck. That is a phenomenal one liner as well. What was that again, mate? I wrote half of it down. I don't know how I'm going to win.

I just know I'm not going to lose.

I just know I'm not going to, I'm not going to lose.

Yeah. So we've got another one that we say we're, we're proud but we're never satisfied. So I've, I've. I'll write this one down too because I always stuff this one up. So I've, I've written something I'll feel this is me and it's our journey not only as members of HPF but as fathers, what we should adopt. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm proud that I'm not where I used to be. So that's that whole leveling up, becoming that 1.5, 2.0, 2.6, 3.0. That's that proud but never satisfied mindset. That's something that I think we need to just remind ourselves of. I think at times when we see. We take those little hits and we start to maybe slide back down into a bit of a darker place. It's okay not to be. We're never gonna be perfect. Right. But there's no reason why we shouldn't strive to try and be perfect. It's a bit of a martial arts kind of mindset there. So we always strive for the perfect strike, knowing that it's impossible, but it's that. It's that journey that takes us there. Every time we try to get that perfection, it just makes us that little bit better. Just that one little step, that 1% that we talk, you know, there's great value in that, I think, with everything in life. So, yeah, I think the old boys that used to fight like that, I think have something in them for sure. There's power there.

Absolutely power and depth in that message there, mate. You know, it's so important for all of us as men as we journey through life, which is so quick. It's so quick. I truly believe that we can't connect to how quick it is because we look at an old, decrepit person about to die who can't walk properly and can't even be me. It doesn't even look like me. And you look at a baby and it's like a sixth of the size of you can't be me. But it's so short. Like 80 years, mate. And I'm in the space and every day with appreciation and gratitude and perspective on time, and even then, so crazy. So it's really important, men, to always look at where you've come from, but. But also to. To talk about and enhance on what Haro just said then. Can't really fucking do that if you just stay where you are and don't do something about it. So look at where you've come from. Well, that's almost like a prerequisite. Well, okay, well, I better be doing something to then widen the gap of where I was so I can look back and see where there was a from. Not where I've come from is where I am today. Because then you've done nothing. There's no change. There's no improvement. Go for the perfect strike, knowing you'll never hit it, but it's the journey that'll take you into a direction of mastery. And for us it's. And maybe it is a risk, I don't know, maybe I could just run a fat loss company and all that sort of shit. Because it is hard, I'll tell you, it's harder for sure. But it's worth it to go all in on family, self and service, to be a top 1% man in life. Not just fitness or just make more money or communication courses so you can talk to your kids better, you know, and I know. And that's not discrediting them, it's just like, yeah, man, like, what are you waiting for? What are you wasting your time for? Like, we're going for the whole hog. And that's what I love about yourself and men on the inside now. We're going for it all, mate. We're going for glory in such a genuine way that has an impact for everyone else. Full of wisdom, mate. Powerful stuff. Whoa. What advice would you give? We've spoken about a few things. You've obviously got adult kids. I think one of those is a young bloke, mate, which is pretty cool, you know, if we'll get him in one day. But yeah, it's great to see fathers who've got kids, toddlers. I've got another one that'll be coming in a few months. But then men like yourself with it never ends, father. Right. And then, like I said, your perspective on leadership's gonna carry you through into when you're, you know, being a grandfather just like myself. There's nothing I'd love more than to have such a good foundation. But what would be your advice? Everything you've seen with hpf, what, you know, what you've done as we draw this close to an end, what would be your advice, mate, for men, fathers, younger generation, on really grabbing life by the balls and going all in on this limited opportunity that we have.

I think the key is that, to leaving that legacy is all your kids really want is for you to be present with them. So that's something I know I didn't do as well as I could have as a. When my kids were younger. And that's something I think that is so valuable now. So I am very, very aware of that now when we are together. So the distractions that life throws at us and you know, the young kids these days are stuck. They're almost born with a phone in their hand. So that, that to try and prize that out of them, you've really got to be. You've got to have something more attractive. Than that electronic device with them. And even now you can see when you invest time with those, you know, your kids and you can actually, you actually, we call it present with presence. When you're actually talking to them and you've got that eye contact which is critical and you are involved in their conversation and their day, it means the world to them still. And you can see that. And I think just for them to be able to have that knowledge that you are listening to them and they are being heard. And you know, my, yeah, my kids are adults now, so we have adult conversations now. So it's a little bit different to, you know, obviously younger, younger kids and younger, and the dads of the younger, younger kids. But so our conversations are more adult driven. But the principle is still the same. It's still, still listening to them, understanding that you don't have to have all the answers, but you just need to be able to workshop with them as they, as they bring this up with you, make sure you are listening to them. Definitely. That's definitely critical. We've got some challenges that go around with adult kids that are different with the young kids. But, you know, it's all, it evolves with, with time, you, you build the reps as kids to get to a point when they are adults and their problems are bigger, you know, same, same with us. So I think knowing they've got that support with you. And I've always said to my kids, you know, I might be busy doing something and you come up and you've asked me something and I, I don't necessarily show you the attention that you're craving. If it's something serious and you definitely want to talk to me, get my eye contact, make sure that I understand and then I'll drop whatever I, I'm doing and I'm all yours. And it's, you know, we get very busy, I guess, as parents, running the household and all that sort of thing. So the kids, you know, they do want every bit of your time and you just can't do that as parents, unfortunately. So when you do do that, to have that, that, you know, that real presence with them, I think is, is invaluable. And that, that's for any, any age that's from toddler right through to, to now. So I think that's, that's important. I think I've lost your hour. You're mute.

Sorry, man, I was coughing up a lung. Present with presence. You know, it's.

I thought you were laughing.

No, that's not at all, not at All. Not at all. No. I'd unmute if I was going to laugh at a poor quality joke. Didn't land very well in Perth. Yeah, they're very, very serious men. That was great, great trip. Got a lot of laughs in. Brizzy. Love those events, though. They were fantastic. Now, the, the wisdom in that is, is I've shared this with the men before. It's like, mate, I'm sitting there with Roman. I'm just looking at the follicles, and it might seem silly, but I'm looking at, like, his eyebrows. I'm like, really, like, really zone in. Like, magnify the situation. You've got this other human being that you've brought into this world, albeit your wife gives birth, but you've, you've contributed to who wants your time and energy. And, and, and that's, that's a powerful thing because they need food and shelter and there's lots of needs, but the wanton desire is something that will change as they get older, and you should not take that for granted. You know, I've got two girls, another girl on the way, and Roman, he's my little man. He's the only boy. And it's like, it's, it's, it's not even that he is the only boy. It's that, well, that's. That's my son who I'm shaping to become me. It's like, that's really, really important. But then my daughters, they're two different daughters, so it's like, oh, I'm shaping the standards that they choose for in a man, but they've got their own personality. And it's, it's just, you know, not glazing over and generalizing. I'm a father, you're my child. I'll give you some time, you know, like, I can't fucking stand that. And society's put a lot of pressure on men. Spend more time with your kids. More. It's like, spend a higher quality of time with the kids. You know, that's what's probably more important because we're already stretched. And like you said, there's times when my kids interrupt me and it's like, well, no, no, I'm working right now. Like, I'm busy. Like, this is my priority right now. And. But is it something important? But what happens? We feel bad. Oh, and I shouldn't be working because my kids just called me and they need something, but they don't need something. They just wanted to share something and it wasn't that important, but it's like. So I think that's important too, what you said then. Yeah, having good, healthy boundaries. It's like, well, no, I'm a man living my life as well and I've got family, self and service. And what I think's really good from a visual, I know is. And of course some can blend, but when you're in that circle, like when you're focused in that circle, go all in on that. So I could, I could do a podcast with the kids and yeah, sure, there's a bit of family and a bit of service. I get that. I could do a workout in the backyard with them doing push ups and sit ups. Okay, cool. There's a bit of self and there's a bit of family in there. But what I'm saying though is like, it's pretty easy to pick the times when you're blending circles. Don't blend the ones that shouldn't be at that time. If you're focused just on your kids, fucking go in on your kids, turn your phone off, put it in your car, put it somewhere. Just have, just create your own roadblocks and barriers to remove anything that will remove you from, to take away any temptation that can remove you from your immediate present environment.

It dilutes it otherwise, doesn't it? So you can, if they come, Nate, and you have that, like you said, you know, you feel guilty or you want to give up your time because you know it's precious. So your mind is, is fully focused on the task at hand because that is an important thing to you to do and you do have to get that work done. Whatever it is, the kids come up to you and they tag on your leg. So you, you put it aside and you try and invest in the, in your kids or whatever the, the diversion is or that attention isn't on the child or your kid. It's, it's, it's, it's diluted because you've still got that, that thing that is eating away at you. So you've got to attend to that first. So that's, that's a really hard thing to balance. So don't, you can't just take that as, oh, yeah, I should not be doing that. I'm going to feel guilty and I'll spend time, time with my kids because, yeah, you're not, you're not really there in full presence with them, are you? So that the benefit isn't there anyway.

It's. And we, and we keep falling into it. It's like, hang on a minute, you're thinking about that thing with work or with something else or the training session that you've got planned or whatever other thing that might be on your mind. It's like, can you actually, are you going to action that right now or can you fucking do anything about it right now? If the answer's no to both for me. Why are you ignoring the beautiful color of your daughter's eyes when she's looking at you with a gleaming smile, talking about how she's got dancing on the weekend and can't wait till daddy comes or whatever it might be? It's a thing that I probably haven't reinforced enough. Maybe I shared on a podcast a while ago, but it's like, if you need to think, because that's important, right? But that's what we're doing a lot of times, not actually stuff we should be doing, even though we feel guilty for that with work, even though we're with our kids. It's thinking through situations and I've got to do this or put that fire out. It's like, if you need be with your child or your friend or your wife, or if you need to think, plan the time to think and just think. If you need to do, plan the time to do and just do. When you need to be, plan that time to be and just be. And I haven't shared that a lot, but I'll tell you, man, whether you write that down or not, it's an extremely empowering position to take because it's like, ah, okay. It frees you from the constraints of trying to juggle all of them. Be like. And I'm telling you, mate, it's like, I remember someone was telling me like, any problems you have, write them all down. And I used to do this. I'd write them all down and email them to myself at like 3 or 4 or 5, and then I'd address them the next morning. Mate, I cannot tell you just that one exercise. I don't know how much that frees up your mind because you've already made an agreement yet. Cool. I'm going to address that first thing tomorrow morning when I wake up and it's stored so I won't forget it and I don't need it anymore. But at the times when that was just catching up to me with my. With my folks and not being present and yeah, that is a fucking awesome. So when you do that, you're giving yourself permission. Are the Future, Al. In 2 hours time or 12 hours time, or I'll address it then. Which Then unlocks and frees you. I can just be with the kids now and that's a, it's a really powerful.

It's that fear of forget, isn't it? So you, you fear that you're going to forget it and it's going to bite you later. So you, you, you send that down the line so that it does flag to you and you, it comes back to you. You can let that go straight away.

Yes, yes, very true. What a, what a session. The first of a 650 hour 12 part series. So yeah, can't wait to do our

and a half or something now. Two hours mate. Good.

Yeah, good run, good run. It's, it's been incredible having you on, mate. Thank you so much for giving the time and love, like I said, really love and appreciate your contribution to the tribe and, and your leadership on the inside. Mate. You are. Anything else you'd like to finish on, mate? Any final thoughts or anything else that you wanted to wrap up on or huddles words of wisdom, mate, before we, before we knock off. I hope you guys have enjoyed this. It's been, it's been amazing for me. I've written a few notes actually, some good quotes.

Yeah, I guess the only thing I would probably add is if you are listening to this and you haven't made up your mind whether HPF or getting, getting that help or doing the work on, on yourself is something that you really need to, to look at if you're on the fence. All I can say is that means you're already in, in the fight. So whether you like it or not, you are having that conversation with yourself. So it becomes a weight. The more you, you try and carry that, the, the heavier that sort of becomes that, that, that area. So I use a bit of analogy with a couple of lads I was talking to. You know, we're all strong fathers. We can carry 20 kilos across the shed, you know, bag of cement, we can carry it across the shed. Yeah, it's heavy. We might huff and puff a bit. We can, we might be able to carry it up and down the driveway and it's, you know, it's a bit of a workout. You can't carry it down the road and back. It's, it becomes too heavy and you become in a weakened state. So that's kind of where those, those pressures of fatherhood, even just being a man trying to provide for your family, that's where that sort of drags you, I guess. So you do need something. At least I did. I know that and I know a lot of other guys here I've spoken to have. So don't wait for a. Wait for a breakdown. Get yourself to a point where you can break through. That's probably one of the best things you can do for yourself, which then flows on that ripple effect to your family. So don't. Don't let yourself get to that point. If you're feeling a pull in your gut to try and do something to join hpf, if that's what you want to do, I can't recommend it enough. But that's your call to do it. So answer your call and dive in. Get yourself. Get yourself into that environment. You won't look back.

Here's the thing, man like you and appreciate the kind words, mate, and sound advice too. You will never be able to have a strong position of judgment or progress at all if you sit on the fucking fence ever. Ever. Either go all in or fucking don't like sitting on the fence, man. You will never have any fucking perspective, any insights, any. Any position of judgment on life. Certainly never any progress. Like either go fucking forwards or keep going backwards. There is no like. That's the thing. Like, if you. Like. How do. I said if you're on the fence, do fucking something or do nothing. But that's what just eats away. And the fucking devil, as clever as it is. Just tomorrow, just tomorrow you'll be right. Just tomorrow. Fucking love that, mate. Nike, one of the best sayings ever, obviously didn't fly because it appealed wrongly to the masses, but I love it. Four words. Yesterday you said tomorrow. I saw a picture of that as a massive billboard. I think it was in the 90s. Obviously it didn't stick, right? For obvious fucking reasons. The rest of the world would have hated that because it exposes the bullshit. Not being a person or a man of your word and not following through and have made that. I just want to finish that. And that's nothing to do with HPF, men. This is to do with you and whether you have integrity or not with your wife. Because you're not fucking believed anymore. Because your words carry no weight at all. The track record suffering in your. Whatever it is. Because we've all had that, right? And that's why it hits like I've had that in some aspect of my life. Yesterday you said tomorrow. And it could be fitness, could be health, could be relationships, could be special time, could be a date night. Yesterday you said tomorrow. Like, that's so fucking, mate. So confronting, but so powerful. What a session. Appreciate you, Sean. O thank you, mate, so much for, for everything that you've given and contributed. And I hope this is a session that serves you men well because it was very impactful for me. Like I said, I got some quality notes and looking forward to doing the next hour's insights and expanding on a couple of these, if you'll let me borrow them, mate. But they've been mates more than welcome, mate.

They probably came from you originally.

So I love catching up with you in the South Australia, boys.

It's.

It's, yeah, very, very great, genuine group of men. So I can't wait to get back over there too, mate. But thank you again. It's been an epic journey.

You're welcome, mate. Thanks for your. Thanks for the opportunity.

Keep going and growing, Chief.

Absolutely no other way. Discipline over distraction.

Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you, and then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You've listened to it. Write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember. And make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care. Have an amazing day, night, weekday, weekend, and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.