Episode 263. "As Soon as I Took Ownership, My Life Skyrocketed"

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Absolutely. Pleasure to be here, mate.

Yeah, can't wait to share your story, man. Six months into the journey and actually it was you and me that spoke and I remember our corners. What I really loved about, yeah look, love, love all the members but what I really loved about you and our core was hey, life's not bad. I just want more. And, and I, and I. You know what's funny? In today's world, Luke, like me man, so many, so many men are either A ashamed to admit that or B don't publicly advocate for a desire for more and or C don't allow their actions to do that, which means they're subconsciously by default just pulling themselves away. Even if you've got an above average life, you're still like well fuck me man, how much can you do? How far can you go? So I really, I really enjoy that, you know, and that doesn't take away the, you know, the value in helping men who hey, don't know what's going on here. I don't get women and my wife just fucking said this and that and I get that man. But I really enjoyed our call because in some aspects and you obviously you can see differently now but in some aspects, quote unquote, compared to other people who'd be like, oh, what do you got to complain about? Well there's no need to do anything there, there's no reason to do anything. And that's, that's what I love most, man. I think I'd never share this with one of the other podcasts with Hutto or not, but I've, I've definitely shared it with the coaching team. Like your character and strength in life is always best built off the back of challenging yourself when you don't need to. But everyone waits until life them in the ass and then they're oh wow, I've got a, like they're passively moving through and then they get challenged. Then mate, fucking boom. That's like a steam train just, just knocks you and you and you're done. Yeah, so I just, just reflecting man, I was like, yes, I remember our chat. It's, it's, it's pretty awesome because that's how I roll. I love that. I like to be proactive and like I said, you, technically you had no real reason to do anything above and beyond or even join hpf. But yeah, here you are, you had that hunger, that thirst and ambition. We'll probably dig into a bit today. But I love that man, Like I live and breathe that like what's the alternative? Right, but mate, we'd love to share, I guess your story first. Start with liking just a bit about yourself. Get the listeners here, whether it's members or non members, just to obviously the members have seen you high flying with hundreds and thousands of pull ups that you've been doing, which is awesome. But yeah, love for you to share a bit about yourself man and we can walk through the journey together of what led to HPF and what you've done so far.

Yeah, cool mate, thank you and thanks for inviting me on. It's definitely an honor. Yeah. So my story. 41 years old, married to a beautiful wife, Jess, two kids, two boys, Maverick who's seven and Harvey who is nine. Yeah, like I said, not a lot to complain about in my life. You know, we've had our ups and downs and whatnot, but originally from Victoria, Jess and I moved up, what is it, 12, 13 years ago now to Darwin NT. We're coming up for 12 months and then gonna head home to get married and have kids and very typical Darwin story where we're still here, kids are, yeah, kids are here and we're still here. We could be here for life I think. Much to my parents dismay. But anyway, yeah, and yeah, life's good mate. Works good. Like provide. Well, Jess isn't like, she isn't working. She hasn't had to work since we've had kids, which is. Which has been something that's been really important to me to keep that sort of, you know, family unit and the mum at home with the kids. Yeah, had two boys and then we actually had a third on the way and then lost, lost that one to like a late, late pregnancy, late term pregnancy. Lost that one. And that hit us really hard and sort of got back into it, you know, after certain amount of waiting period and whatnot, thinking I, you know, we'll keep going. And then four and a half years later, couldn't get it done. Like, first two, first three pregnancies were really, really quick, like, first go sort of thing. So then, yeah, I will. You know, it was super sad. We were sort of treating it as a lost pregnancy rather than a lost child sort of thing at the time, thinking that, you know, we'd get another one in and. And life goes on. But yeah, four, four and a half years later and we still, we couldn't get it done. We healthiest we've ever been. We, you know, putting all the effort in doing all the right things and just, just not getting there. And our. I don't know, I sort of felt our focus as a family or as a couple, it was just baby, baby, baby. And it was, you know, I was starting to feel on the outer a fair bit. You get, you get booked in for that few days a month and then, you know, feel like you're. You're on the outer again, which is totally understandable. That's not having to dig at Jess at all. But, you know, as a man and a husband and not being able to get the job done, like, there's a lot of things sort of, you know, that. That eat you up a bit. So, yeah, just sort of feeling last in line, I guess, with that focus being on the baby. So, yeah, rather than, rather than just like, I was sort of. I was sort of ready to accept that and settle is not a good word, but I was sort of just like, this is our. My lot in life sort of thing. Like, no, no thoughts of breaking up or anything like that. Like it wasn't going down that path, but it was, it was just like, well, this is what, you know, what my life is, what my role is now. But then I thought, no, that's. That's not what I do. You know, sit back and do nothing. Like, I usually jump, jump at stuff pretty Pretty head on and started sort of researching different programs. I'd signed up for a couple of different, you know, different ebooks and the likes and seminars and stuff like that, like in the. In the men's space. And they were okay. But then your. Your head kept popping up on the ads all over Facebook. And typical story to all the guys on the inside. It was like, you're speaking directly to me in. In probably all of the ads that popped up. It's like, who is this bloke? Like, you know, so, yeah, jumped on the podcast and just went hard for two weeks straight. I don't know. I've probably listened to 100 of them in that time. It was over Christmas, so I was off work and just going hard on it, and it just really spoke to me. And. And the whole concept of becoming the prize, like the issues I thought that, you know, we were having as a couple sort of thing. And, you know, I'm doing all this. I'm providing you don't have to work and, you know, rah, rah, rah. Like, why. Why am I sort of last in line, I guess. And, yeah, that. That concept of becoming the prize, like, that was. That was the turning point for me. And I'm like, holy shit. I'm definitely not the prize that I thought. Sort of thought I was. I hadn't. Hadn't really looked at it that way. And I'm thinking, like, yeah, it's. She's not the answer. Like, I'm the answer. I've got to do better here. Like, you know, support her more and become a better man and, you know, fill that role properly rather than moping around thinking poor old. And, yeah, that's what led me to. I bought the Marriage Playbook. And, yeah, just whizzed through that. Like, I'm a big consumer. I'm always on podcasts and whatnot, but sort of don't follow through with a lot. I got a lot of knowledge that I learned from all that. And then, you know, but the hpf, like, podcast and then the Marriage Playbook, and I'm like, nah, I'm into this. So put the inquiry through. I was lucky enough to get ucall me. And then, yeah, that was New Year's Eve 2024, which I wasn't stoked about the date. Cause I'd. I don't know why, but I didn't want it to be like a New Year's resolution. But anyway, kind of was, I guess, day one, you had the charge up on New Year's Day. I Remember, Remember that? And just have not looked back since, like, it's been. Been unreal life. So that's me in a nutshell.

Yeah, man. There certainly hasn't been a New Year's resolution, was it 92% fail in the first four weeks, I think is the stat. So let's write that off, mate. Certainly wasn't a. A, A typical one anyway. Typical one anyway. Pretty powerful stuff you just shared, man. Like, I made a few different notes here. I guess I'd like to work back, probably back, reverse order becoming the prize. So we talk about this. And look, some wives say to their husbands, look up, we're in hpf. Look, it's good you're doing hpf. All this sort of stuff. One thing I struggle a bit with, it's that, you know, else does that become the prize. And so we've had that feedback with a couple of fathers asking, I guess, tips or advice or like. Yeah, well, look, the thing is, we've swung the pendulum so far where we go above and beyond and provide. And typically, like, like yourself, man, and all of us, we. We do everything or throw shit on the wall, see what sticks. So the, The. The depth of value given the effort we're giving out is not always reciprocated. So it's like, all right, well, I'm like a martyr. We talk about this, like, martyr, sacrificing yourself. So we gotta bring that pendulum back a little bit by overcorrecting, saying, well, hang on, like we said, be a hundred to give 100, not, not hold it, not keep it, not save it, be 100. So you can give it out firstly. But secondly, there's a second part to that. Become the prizes. Become the prize for your family. Like, we're not all here on an island fucking chanting stuff, building things, lifting weights, and on our own, like, we. We're here to invest in ourselves, to become more for what matters in us, in our heart and soul and in and around us in life. Which is the most closest sources? Obviously your family, that's under the same roof. So it's. It's an interesting concept, man. I'm curious, though. And all the men listening to this who aren't members, just. Just know, like, you. You've got something, you know, like. So when I say the rest of the world, the masses, most men are fucking duds. I'm not judging the identity, I'm judging the action. So. So when I say that, I'm not saying this to men who listen to the podcast. You listen to the podcast, mate. It's fucking awesome. Whether you're ever a member or not. Well done. But yes, Luke, for most people, they just stay in victim mode, man. And. And I. I don't get that. And that's. And. And some of you guys who are listening might be stuck in that mode. So I do get it. But I don't get why you stay there. It's like a pity party, but you're the host, you handed out the invites, you have the power to turn the lights off. So I'm very curious on that one. What shifted for you, man? Where it's like, not. Not that I'm saying you're a victim, but I get it. It's like, fuck me, man. I'm doing so much. I'm getting nothing. But, mate, I felt that my wife's about to have our fourth, and guess what? We're going through, like a tough.

Like, not.

Not tough, but it's compared to what it was before hbf. But we're going through a tough period where it's like, oh, I'm obviously lucky and wise enough through hbf. I'm like, we're going through a tough period, which I fucking know is coming. And it is what it is. Crin can't give me the energy, the time, blah, blah. So we're. It's just. We are. Logistically, physically, mentally, it's a tough time. I'm not crying, poor me. But a lot of men don't have HPF the wisdom to steal. How did that change for you, man? Cause that's quite a common thing, just to hold onto that grudge. And that's what leads to the rupture, the big one. But, yeah, so how'd that change for you?

Yeah, like, I definitely would say I was having a pity party in those periods where, you know, you sort of think, fuck, I am doing all this. And then. And, you know, just not getting that. Not getting any return for it sort of thing. And so those expectations and chasing and whatnot that we learn about, obviously, in hpf. But the changing point. Don't know. Like, it was definitely victim mentality, which is funny now. Cause, like, I can't stand people that sit in the, you know, play the victim for life sort of thing. They'd be like, oh, my childhood, so therefore I can't do this. And when I'm 45, you know what I mean? I can't stand it. And I see through it so easily. But then looking back, it was like that, you know, to a degree. That's what I do. Not all the time. But it was these, you know, two, three, four day periods where you sort of get in your head and you notice, hang on, done this stuff. And then, you know, I'm not getting any praise for it. And you know, definitely, like, yeah. And I'd get in my head about it and it'd just build up, build up and build up until it blew up into an argument. And we, it was the same pattern, you know, it happened once every, whatever, two months, four months, we'd have a blow up about it and then, you know, it'd be sort of eggshells a little bit and, and then, you know, it, it'd be great and then it'd happen again. So it was just this reoccurring pattern. And I could just see that if that kept going, like, where's that going to end up? You know, like I said, we weren't on death's door, anything like that. But it's like, you know, five years more of this or 10 years more of this. Like, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna grow apart, I guess, or I'm gonna, you know, I'll be out in the shed drinking every night. So I'm not in the house, you know, being the Viking and being grumpy and, you know, no one wants to be around me sort of thing. So that was probably the change, like just looking forward. Like, I'm a, I'm a problem solver, I'm a man. So that's what I kept trying to solve, I think the relationship problem or her problem. And then after zooming out, and it wasn't her problem, it was me. Like, it was 100% me. And I think in our call, our initial call, like I said, it's sort of hard to even remember what the problem we had were because they're just, they've disappeared now that I've zoomed out. Like, people on the inside probably laugh at me saying zoomed out, because that's what, that's, that's what hpf. HPF is to me. It's just, you know, instead of being stuck in the moment and not knowing where you're at, you take, you know, you zoom out and you're like, oh, now I can see you know where the issue is there. And, you know, this is how you fix it, or you don't know how to fix it and you jump on and you talk to some of the other guys and it's like, yeah, I've been through that. This is, you know, this is what helped me. Or this is how you shouldn't do it. I didn't do it. You know. You know, there's just so much advice within hbf. So that's probably. Yeah, it was me looking to the future and realizing that, you know, something needs to be done. And that's. That sort of pulled me out of. Yeah. Looking forward, like looking ahead and then seeking. Seeking help. Basically. Like I said the other courses and then finding hbf. But that's that changing point, I suppose, is not wanting to just let it keep going in the same pattern.

Makes perfect sense, man. Like we talk about like why men need to lead, right? And with women, bless them, they're emotionally regulating and volatile creatures. Left, right, left, right. That's just the way they operate, you know, like six lane highway. So what you shared just then, that was. That was a bit of an epiphany. I just got. Cause like, that's how women are wired, which is why they struggle to see deep into the future. So I can. You can go into the future through emotion. Like, oh, you know, I'm worried Luke won't be with me and that's, you know, and then what'll that mean for the kids? But when you're typically. This is what I got from it anyway, mate. When you're typically in a charged emotional state, if you do that before the logic you actually can't see. It becomes foggy. Whereas the opposite is. If I can look at logic. Okay, well let's go down in the. Because that's what I'm getting from you. I actually had the vision and foresight to go, where would this go? Okay, that will be the outcome. So you actually went logic first and then okay, well then how would I feel? That's really. Is that, Is that why you like, so why do you think men. That's what I got from that. It's like, well, if you do logic first, let's forecast in the future. And then the emotional attachment to the positive and the negative, they're more empowered to do something about it. Whereas if you're just emotionally charged in that state, you just can't see. Like, is that, Is that what. Like, why do you think so. So you did it, you saw it. And many hpf. And that's what we do. Hpf, we're big on that. But is that why you think a lot of men can't snap out of it? Because a lot of guys, it just keeps going in the fucking boom is because they're just still too either poor me or emotional. And I get it. It's not your fault to feel that way, but it's your responsibility to do something with it. You know, like fuck. It's like we all, we've all felt that way unappreciated. But yeah, it's your responsibility as a fucking man to do something about it. But yeah. Why do you think men can't make that? Is it because they don't do that exercise and just go, okay, where is this actually fucking going? Or what? What do you think's the block? Because that's most men.

Yeah, I think there's a lot of just blame, blaming other people. You know, it's her fault she's like this. She's a bitch. She's ra. And it's always like. And I think it's a lot of the whole family self in service and they're usually strong in service and they're like, I go and I work eight hours a day and I do this and rah, rah, rah. And you know, what do I get for it? And then they think I'm doing my part and it's blaming the woman for not doing her part. So I wasn't, I wasn't like that. I guess in those moments I probably got like that. I thought, geez, you've got a good life. And you know, why aren't I, you know, praised more or whatever? And yeah, so I guess in, in some moments I wasn't looking forward and it wouldn't, it wasn't in those, you know, three, four days of moping around that I was having the foresight. It was usually in the, the day after or a couple of days after. I'd always reassess how, you know, how the, the blow up went. And I always think, did I handle that well? Or what's her point of view? Like, I've always sort of been like that. Um, but I didn't have the answers. I could see I was not happy with how I handled it, but I'm like, I just can't get my point across. I'm saying abc and it's like she's here in bloody xyz and you know, and that was just. We weren't getting anywhere in that, in that regard. But going back to other, other blokes, not reaching out or not looking ahead. Yeah, I think, I don't know, I think it's just not looking at that family self and service, not even being aware of it and just going, I'm, I'm killing it at work. So that's all I need to do. And I Was definitely like that as well. Yeah, hands up. That was, that was me too. Like, I figured, you know, I'm providing, so therefore I'm done sort of thing. And even just being lazy around the house and helping out and whatnot. And I'm thinking, oh, she's not, she doesn't have to work. Like, you know, it's fine. She's doing the lunches and the washing and the cleaning the kids and this and that and whatever. And it's like, absolutely. It's a harder job than what I've got by far. But I think because of the money side of things that, you know, I'm providing the money. That, that, that was enough. But it's, it's really not separate. Like 100% separate.

Shit, man. I think, mate, can you run the HPF ads for us from now on? Moving forward or. Fuck me, what you said then is going to. Because obviously I've had a lot of conversations. It's going to resonate with a lot of you guys listening. It's so true. And it's. Yeah, what I got from that is like, we feel significant at work because we're important. We're getting a. Typically with work you'll get a faster feedback loop, you know, like, yeah, cool, have more sex with the wife. But that's a byproduct of the dance, the romance, the connection, the intimacy, the respect, which then can build into more affectionate love because you're giving each other the time. And whereas work, it's like, I do this, I get that, I do this, like shooting baskets, you know, I either get it in the basket or not. But then if you're tripling down on work, you're typically doing well even if you're under the pump, which means there's people around you that would see you as a leader, so they're championing you. So the fulfillment and the reward is at work. Oh, at least I fucking get appreciated at work. So we start to plan these things, mate can definitely see that. I can see that being a pattern with most people. And when my marriage fell apart, which started hbf, it was that it was only a one hour drive to work. But yeah, it was a two hour turnaround. But at the same time, mate, I was just too, like, way too much into work, emotionally invalidating that as my identity. It wasn't even the time with or without the family, it was where I placed significance. That's what I love, man. Founding principle, like the first thing we ever created. I feel fucking blessed somehow. That was a lucky One, because all things from there on I certainly didn't create was inspired from the men. But family solvent service, mate, that has never, ever been threatened. Rocky shaky ground. It's just so true. Other thing too you mentioned, man, if we keep blaming people, why a lot of men probably struggle is because if you. If you keep casting blame outwards. Think of it this way, if you're giving the reasons to something other than yourself, well, then you're also giving that power. Like you're forfeiting your power and control, aren't you? So don't fucking do anything about it. So if a man's just doing that, it's like, well, I'm giving up any chance I have to do something about it. Which probably has them stuck, I guess. Mate, you. So up in Darwin, you don't like the Melbourne weather? You know, like, Victoria nice.

Like, I lived there for 30 years and it was the normal. And then we got up here and I'm like, what? It doesn't have to be cold and

pale Five seasons in a day.

Yeah. Five, six, whatever they're up to now. Like, yeah, my mum. My mum keeps getting like. Because she's dirty that, you know, we've got the kids up here. But she's like, well, you lived here for so long, you know, it's not that bad. And it's like, yeah, true. But it doesn't have to be like, you know, so it is hot, it's sweaty, it's humid up here for half the year and then it's paradise for the other half. But the hot and humid and sweaty, I'd give that any day over sideways

high wind and you'll never have dry skin. You get shredded, mate. I was up there for a holiday. It was beautiful, man, I loved it. I got shredded in a week.

That's it. People think I'm crazy because I've got a sauna out in the shed. And they're like, won't. I'm like, yeah, well, Darwin doesn't get that hot, you know.

But the sort is to cool down. The sort of. To bring back memories of Melbourne.

Me and the mate were putting it together out in the shed and it was a stinking hot day and we're sweating our ass off in there. Like, what are we doing? Like, no, it is good.

People who send you, the company would have been like, this is the only order we've ever had for the Northern Territory, pretty much. But that's gone.

It seemed like getting down to 14 overnight. It's been freezing. Everyone's getting around in hoodies and pants. My kids don't know what's happening. They're like yeah, 14 is cold.

That's so funny man. So funny. I went to Victoria for, went to Melbourne for catch up and made it just cut me in half the wind and I'm in Sydney, I'm like. And I couldn't believe just the change. So yeah 14 would be cold for the, the climate that you're used to, it would be made. It'd be good for us at the moment it's been freezing down here. Be a hot summer day. Isn't interesting man. I guess I'd love to get your take on. You've obviously, you know, you're very driven businessman in great shape. You're pushing hard. We'll talk about some challenges with, with pull ups and whatnot in a sec. Family man, wanting to build family self and service 1% man in life hit the top. Love it man, it's. It's tough the challenges you went through Luke. You know we did IVF for, for our first two and our expecting fourth. Roman was surprised but it's really hard and I think that's when I mentioned earlier like your character's best built off challenging yourself when you don't have to. People see that as a waste because you don't have to. Oh why would you man? Why? Why? This is the reason. Like I don't know about you but when I was young, man, I saw fucking babies everywhere. So I didn't think it would be that hard. And mate, Roman was so easy. It was a surprise. But the others were really tough. Lots of struggles, lots of mental emotional stress for Crin and for me because you're failing but you can't really do anything about it as a man. And yeah, and it's like so when I was young I never thought, I thought I'll grow up and I'll be a dad and she'll be right. But after two years Crin and I were actually contemplating such. It makes mind boggling that we're on the way to having four. But we're like, oh, we might just be one of those couples who never has kids like my uncle. Because my uncle never had a. Never had children. Couldn't conceive just like what you went through, man. I don't think people quite understand. It's not like we're trying to just be some sort of tough warriors or Spartans. Like man, you need to prepare because life has things for you that you can't think of. You don't know you have no idea what could exist that could challenge you. And that's why it's a challenge. It's not something you're preparing like a game of footy. It's like you just don't know. That would have been tough for you, man. Like, I guess, walk me through, like, how did you. How did you just sort of manage to move through that? Because that is tough. But also, what do you think is a common problem out there for men today which really catches them short and they find themselves on the short end or chasing the tail or not getting to where they need to.

So, yeah, the fertility side of things was hard. It was hard, yeah. Not to get the job done. From a male's point of view, like, the reason we lost the baby was actually like a chromosome issue that I carry, that we found out. So then going forward then we knew that there was also risk with the next child can still have it, but there's more tests than that you can do to sort of mitigate or not mitigate it, but find out early enough and all that sort of thing. And doesn't get as far along as we got to first time. Yeah, but just. Just helplessness, like, you know, knowing that. That she. She really, really needs another baby or wanted. Needed. Like I keep saying it's terrible word, but replacing the one that we lost, it's not the right word, but fulfilling the. The gap that was left, I suppose, and not being able to provide that as a husband, like, that's pretty. You know, there's shame around that, I guess. But also knowing, well, there's not much more I can do about it. Like, you know, and I'm. I don't know, I'm a pretty positive guy. And knowing, like, hey, we've got two happy, healthy boys. They're great. They're awesome kids. I could sort of see that. And I'm like, I'm content with that. Like, another one's great and happy to do it and want to do it, but if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. I'm content. But then that's not how, you know, she sees it, which is perfectly fine. Women are so much different. They carry them. They've got that completely different connection than what we have. You know, obviously we don't see them until they come out, but it's. It's life they're carrying and creating inside them. So I absolutely get where she's coming from. But, you know, we just, as male and female, obviously feel different things about it and. Yeah, just not being Able to provide that for her is, you know, that was hard. And. And also another part of it is like, you know, it was four and a half years, and there was times there where, like, you know, it's probably not going to happen and whatnot. And when do we cut it off sort of thing, get on with our lives? I was sort of getting a bit over, you know, life just being on pause. It felt like we weren't progressing in any other areas, weren't chasing, you know, development within us or anything like that, because it was just baby, baby, baby, and even, like, putting the pressure on her to, like, we had discussions about, you know, when do we call it quits. And it's like, well, that's up to you, because I don't want you to resent me if I draw the line in the sand and we, you know, go forward, we never have another baby, you'll resent me. And that was just being weak. I think, looking back at it now, because I should have been the leader and the man and taken that burden on from her, you know what I mean? Like, not at year one or two or whatnot, but it got to a point where we sort of. The writing was on the wall. It wasn't going to happen. So that's. That's something about being the leader of the family and the, you know, the couple is, you know, you do have to carry some burdens or take burdens away from them where you can. I think that's our responsibility and not, poor me for, you know, having to. To carry them. I think that's. That's just the way it is. And that sort of. That's a bit of a regret through that time, which I can't change now, obviously, but I can just, you know, be. Be a better leader of us going forward. That's his motivation to. To sort of not, I guess, not hide behind anything like that in the future is to hit it, like, head on. And, yeah, that's sort of where. Where that is on the fertility front and getting past it. Like, we got to a point where, yeah, I don't know, it was just. It was just time. I think she'd sort of come to the realization and that's. I wanted to let it get there naturally. So it wasn't that it was mainly selfish, so it wasn't resent towards me, resentment towards me, but. And she probably needed to get there, too. If I cut it off early, there would be extra resentment there. But then getting to that point and then it was like, right, you know, it's sad, but we really have to be thankful for what we've got. And then, you know, she's jumped into. And I've sort of pushed her into like a real, like vigorous. Not vigorous, but a fitness campaign. She's always been fit and healthy and we're very much on the. On the health. Health train, especially in the fertility, you know, four years that we were trying, like, you get. You're always finding healthier and healthier ways to live. So we actually live a very healthy lifestyle. But yeah, sort of giving back to her or her giving to herself rather than the whole baby path. And yeah, she's paid for some. Some courses, like some, you know, paid training and whatnot. And she's doing really well in it. And that's been a good line in the sand from her. For her, I think, like, yeah, baby's sort of in the past now. Now it's working on herself and it's paying dividends. Like, she's. Yeah, she's getting so much more confident in herself and, you know, a lot happier. And it's the baby things going to be there. And I get that. Like, I don't, you know, it's easier for me to sort of think, well, that's. I'm. I'm done with that now I'm happy and content. But obviously that's going to be there forever for her. That's just, you know, the difference between male and female. So I have to have to respect that and help her through it. But yeah, that's sort of been a good, A good line in the sand is her focusing on herself rather than the baby thing. That's sort of what's moved us forward. That's the definitive point, I guess, where we stopped trying that and, you know, moved on. So finding something better, you know, you say no to something, you gotta, you know, to say yes to something else. So we've gotta move through that.

Yeah, that's what I love about you, man. Like, you're. I wrote a couple things here around focus. Like, you really like men. What you focus on becomes your life, the end. Like it really is. Whereas it's not about being delusionally optimistic or positivity fairies. It's literally you. You focus on. Okay. And not as a robot either. Like, there's, there's. There's real emot attachment to most things that we experience in life. So we need to allocate that accordingly. Sure. But you had a good blend of both where there's, like, there's obviously an emotional connection to this, but there's also a passageway forward possibilities. What can we do? How can we focus on ourselves? How can we rebuild, you know, and move forward? That's a really tough one though, man, because I absolutely get what you're saying. So I think you did really, really well in that situation. The only thing I would look at that there is like, yeah, it'd be hard for me give Corinne a definitive line because no matter what, no matter what date you set, 20 years time, we're going to stop. They'll be like, well, you. What if it was 20 years in one day? Like, we know how women are. So, no, I think you did the right thing, man. The hardest part is managing. The hardest part is leadership that can softly lead one towards following through the same parameters you would follow. So it'd be a case of, look, Kryn, there's a. And that's what I love about just being transparent, open. Look, Corinne, there is a real risk that if I just went hard with this for your protection so we could move forward. You may carry resentment, however, here's some food for thought. I want you to go through this exercise. What would need to be true or what timeline would possibly exist for me to be ready to move on with this? And if the timeline's never, that's okay. But what's something you're willing to accept? You know, is it 18 months? Is it 111 days? Is it 247? And just navigate towards. So it's almost like I would train and try and just instill in her mind a, a deadline without saying, that's the deadline and that's. Even then, man. Like, yeah, so I, I don't think you did anything wrong there. But that's a, that's a delicate one. To which I think you, you massage quite well. Really well. What, what do you think's. And then the second part of that. So definitely what you focus on your. I guess this will lead into that second question I asked you about. Where do you think men missed the mark in life? That's essentially what the question was. But I'd love to answer both in one go. Like, why are you so ambitious, man? Like driving you? Like, that's a real, like, we've spoken and, and, and I, I think there's massive goals for you, man. I really see you just warming up even though you're already crushing it. But like, what's driving you, man? Why are you so ambitious? And what, and why or how do you think men are missing the mark today, where they're just Just not living up to their potential.

Why am I so ambitious? I do not know. Like, I, I feel it. I, I don't know why. I just, I guess I just look around and like, no disrespect to other men but that are happy just working until they're, you know, they're going to be 70 now and they can retire and whatnot and they're just content. And I guess that's from a service point of view but like ambitious in the service field. Like I mean construction and invest like property investment and whatnot. Like I just think why not? Like why settle for a job working for someone else for so long to get, get like it provides bloody life support basically. Like and you're just trapped there. And that doesn't bring freedom, like time freedom, I guess. I guess that's what I'm sort of chasing. I'm going pretty hard this year financially. Putting balls on the wall and on the line and you know, going for it. But it's for the, yeah, the drive to do that I guess is just so. It's probably, probably a lazy drive so I don't have to work for someone forever.

But that's a good excuse. It's a good. Yeah, but you're ambitious in life, man. Like walk us through the pull ups because it's pretty crazy. So I did 500 a couple of years ago on Good Friday and that was that just. That crushed me for a few months actually. I, I don't know if I shared that, but yeah, man, I was, I was struggling for a little while. You're setting high standards for your two young boys. You know, you're turning them into weapons. Obviously the relationship with, with Jess and fostering that through the stages because, you know, it's not, we're not teenagers anymore and yeah, of course work. So you're, you're not, not. Hey, I'm a hungry, money hungry man who just doesn't want to work. Like you, you, you. You've got the gene, man. But like, is it a gene? That's why I don't want to discredit the guys who, you know, aren't in HPF or haven't done what you've done, but you do have it. Like you've got. That's why I'm just like, you're so ambitious, man. That's. It's awesome. I love that. Like, it's just because. Yeah, why not? Like, you've got one shot, you're gonna be dead one day. Why would you want it? Like, yeah, yeah, people Say why? I say why not? But yeah, I'm just curious on that. And then yeah, walk us through the pull ups as well, mate.

Yeah, well I guess it's probably, yeah, why not is probably a big part of it. And you've got a little helper behind you. Yeah, why not? You know, why settle? Why not have a crack? And definitely since HPF is the glass ceilings, I've spoken about this before but yeah, identifying these glass ceilings, go, hang on. Why, why can't I do that? Other people are doing it. Why the hell can't I do it? Like. And with the, I suppose getting into the pull ups that was, yeah, I joined up and you know, see a couple of the guys within, you know, hitting pull ups for their training and whatnot. And it was actually Hodgy's episode. I know it's 2:30 because I've forwarded onto a heap of mates like before I even started. I think it was 2:30 and he was talking about, you know, not being able to do a single pull up and then just persisting and training. And I think at the time recording mine 250 or 350 or something around

that in 40 or 50 minutes is pretty good.

Yeah, he's going for it. And so then when I started like one of the things with my coach Eric, who's a legend, big German giant, happy birthday yesterday, he, you know, setting goals and whatnot as you do when you, when you join up with the coach going through things and I'm like, he goes, what about, you know, fitness and whatnot? And I'm like, I've never never considered myself fit or strong like cardio wise. Just never even playing footy in juniors. I just didn't feel like I had the gas tank like running around with everyone else. I just felt I was lacking in that area. So I've sort of never, that's been a story I've told myself for, you know, the next 30 years that I'm just not fit like that. So I don't, didn't pursue it and the whole, you know, wouldn't call myself strong. And then he's like, what would have to be true to call yourself fit and strong? And I'm like, well, all in the strength side of things. I'd heard that you'd done, you know, a heap of pull ups and I thought if I could do Al's record, you know, I'd be pretty, still pretty strong if I could do that. And he's like, right, oh, by the end of the 12 months, if you can do, you know, 500 pull ups in 98 minutes or whatever it was. That's, you know, that, yeah, I'd be strong if I could do that. And then with the fitness, it was running like just not a strong point and said, right, 10Ks in 50 minutes we'll do hit 5 minute K's. And I went, January, whatever it was, I thought I'm going to run 10Ks. I'd been running a little bit with a mate like once a week we'd go for a jog sort of thing and definitely wasn't setting any records. And even running next to him like he just seemed naturally fitter. We were doing the same work and all that, but it just, and it was a story because since then like I think I was averaging 7 minute ks on that first 10k run I did and I was dead like headache all day. I was sleeping in the afternoon like it wrecked me. And now like I'll run 10Ks two, three times a week before work. And that was good, that was a good, good workout sort of thing. I've got the time down to. I did a fun run, which I never thought I'd say this, did a fun run June 1st, it was 12 and a half Ks and I averaged 5 minute 21. So I mean I've taken big chunks out of it. And now like even saying, yeah, I enjoyed that running race I entered, it's like I never thought I'd utter those words ever. So yeah, still, still ticking it off for the, the fitness side of things. But yeah, the pull ups. Yeah. So I set this big lofty goal. I thought I'll, I'll time myself half an hour, see how many I can do so I can set a benchmark. And I got 80 that first time, which I was really happy with because I don't, don't train them. But I'm light, I'm 82 kilos. I'm not 116 like you were and thought, yeah, I got through that. I was really happy. I couldn't have done a single extra one. Like I was buggered. Not, you know, sore for five days and then I've put it out there and you and I were texting and you're like, go for a big goal. I'm like, right, I'm gonna hit 501. I'm gonna hit your goal, your target. I'm gonna beat it by the end of the year. And you're like, yep, love it. Good luck. Can't wait to see you do it. And then I'm like, oh. And waited a week and then jumped on the bar again. Thought right, I'll get into this. And I've grabbed the bar and I'm like, I couldn't even do one. I wasn't sore anymore but I was just so fatigued and I'm just like, I've put this out to 500 blokes. So yep, this is my target and I'm going to look the biggest dickhead. But then yeah, just sort of kept chipping it away, chipping away at it. And Hodgie was really, really helpful. Sent me 10 minutes worth of voice messages on do this train that don't just go hard at the pull ups, you'll wreck your shoulders. And you know all these exercises in the background and just kept chipping away at that. And yeah, and then once a month I'd do another time test. And I think the second month I was so I went from 80, I think I got up to 134, 135. And I thought shit, like I was really happy with that. And yeah, and then, you know, I kept sort of plugging away and then I'd extend the time out to an hour. And then I thought, right, I'll do the a hundred minutes or 98 minutes. I'll do that one time thinking, starting at a pace and thinking, yeah, I'll drop off after half an hour or whatever and it'll slow up. And I sort of maintained the pace the whole way through. And I was 222. I think I got that time. I was like, holy shit. And then I'm thinking I am sort of, you know, halfway there nearly. And then yeah, each month I did it. And then in April it's almost done a couple of months. But then April I had a crack and I got 460 odd. And I'm like, holy shit. And that scared the hell out of me because. And I'll put this up in a video to the tribe. I'm like, it scared the hell out of me like with 10 minutes to go. Cause I'm like, fuck, that means I'm gonna hit this record. And like I'm gonna have to set a bigger one. Like I was actually, no, I was scared before I even hit the first one. I'm like, I'm gonna hit it next month and that I hit it in May. And I'm like, so how low am I aiming? Everywhere else in my life that I've set this goal that in January I thought was, I did not think I would do it like I didn't think I'd do it and then I'm thinking I'm gonna hit this in May, so what else am I aiming low on? And yeah, anyway, May rolled around and yeah, had had my kids out there. Cause you know, they've been a part of this as well. Like they're out. How many pull ups you do today, dad, like, and that's what I love now the example I'm setting for them, like that's the, the biggest part of hpf and I'm sure we'll get to that. But yeah, they're, you know, how many, how many did you get to and when are you doing the next one and oh, can I time it with you? Can I count and can I write on the board and all that sort of stuff. But yeah, got out there and you know, thought, right, I'm going for the 501. I didn't announce I was going to try it or anything because I wasn't sort of confident. I was quietly confident. But like I get nervous before doing it and then yeah, like got into it, maintained the pace throughout it and the boys are like, you're gonna do it. How many minutes to go? How many are you gonna do? And I'm like, no, we're doing it, we're doing it. Got there and I, yeah, went past and hit 526. So like the, you know, I was pretty pumped. I was buggered. But the kids are, you know, they're jumping around and yeah, he did it, he did it. Like they think I'm bloody Superman. So yeah, but before I'd hit that goal, I put it out there, I said, look, I've hit 460, whatever, I'm gonna hit this next month. And that scares me. But I'm resetting a higher goal. So before we go to Cosie in November, that I was gonna, well, I did more numbers than you, but you were carrying a little bit more weight. So I added up 500 times your bulky frame with 58,000 kilos or something. You lifted into Y82 and it worked out at 707. So that's where I set, right, oh, seven before cozy and thinking, oh yeah, I'm, you know, just progression, you know, it'll be all right. And then did the 5, 26 and then thought, right, I need to add another two every minute for the, you know, for the working minutes. And then the first time I tried it, just as I thought, I'll do 10 minutes of it and see, you know, six, seven minutes. And I was like, oh no, I'm cooked. And I'm like, what have I done again? But then I remind myself, this is how I felt in January when I set the first one. So it's just, it's like you messaged me one time, it's brick by brick. And that's exactly what it is. And that's been a metaphor for so many other things is, you know, even not tackling the pull ups head on. There was so much in the background doing the dead hangs and scapular pull ups and the rows and all that sort of thing. Before I even started actually training proper pull ups, I thought, I gotta do the work in the background. And then like the first month, I don't think I really did any pull ups that weren't like either assisted or, you know, negatives or whatnot. I thought, no, I'm not gonna do them. I'm focus on these. This work in the background did that. And then when I come back to it, that's when I hit the 143 and I'm like, holy shit. Like I went, you know, whatever percentage, not from actually doing pull ups but from doing other work in the background. And that's definitely rang true across so many areas within my development. I guess since hitting HPF is not tackling the issues, you know, with the misses head on, you know, you tackle your own, your own issues and work on them and you're heading up the path here and all those things, it's like, oh, hang on now that's fallen into place. And that's fallen into place, not even tackling them head on. I think when you chase those results head on, it ends up pushing them away and it all comes back to developing yourself and leveling up yourself and being aware of where you're falling short and whatnot. And just focusing on that, it sort of feels selfish, but it's not because others around you benefit so much more from it than you just focus on them. So that's where I use pull ups to sort of guide my life.

That is fucking incredible, man. Like, that's the way you, you broke all that down and articulated it and shared it and tied it into life, mate, it's so true. So true, Luke. It's a big goal too, man. That's a big goal. 7:10. I told you offline, I'm like, mate, I want to get, but I want to get, you know, I want to get jacked for cosy. And maybe I'm down to 100, 506, but then I'll have to do more pull ups too because I'm lighter. So I might have to be 580 or 600, but, but man, that's an incredible share, you know, even with the kids, like how power, how awesome is that? You know, the young blokes watching you and just seeing like just. It's so much more powerful than a word. Like the example and watching energy in motion, watching you move, watching you calculate things, break things down. Like it's, it's so funny, man. Do you think it's fear of success? What is that? Like, that's a funny feeling you mentioned. I know I'm gonna hit this goal cause I've. Maybe I've been too reckless in, in my goal setting or I've never been. I share this on an owl's insight where, where I've never been the best. It's like as soon as I get great at something, it's not that I jump ship and try and grace. I try and evolve. Right, what's next? Okay, didn't make it as an athlete or went through. And then went through the grades and didn't make. Okay, cool. I'm gonna keep growing. Okay, what about a business with gyms? And, and I've always tried to just go for something bigger and larger. So I've never, man, I've never given myself a fucking easy target and hit it. So I actually have never really hit my goals. That's a bit fucking weird, isn't it? But, but I've never had that. People tell me about that fear of success, like, oh, am I setting the bar too low? And, and look, you can set it too high and just be a fucking dreamer with no direction. I don't believe that's what I've done either because hpf's got a pretty vivid path on where we're going. It's exciting. But what do you think that is, man? Do you think it's fear of success or what's the. And walk us through the boys, mate, and the impact you've had with them, mate. That's so awesome. I'd love to get insights on those two points though, for sure.

Yeah, fear of success, I don't know. I have a habit of getting 99% of the way somewhere and then I don't finish that. And yeah, I'm like, okay, now there's another goal here or whatnot. That's sort of been a theme that I've been aware of. And I put things off with that tiny little bit to finish and I don't know if it's fear of judgment when something's complete and I say there you go, that's my best. And then that's the time when someone they, you know, they have their opinion and I'm maybe worried about what that opinion is. Probably not founded like, you know, I sort of deliver pretty well I think. But fear of success, I don't know. I definitely don't set the bar low. I'm all about setting it high and even higher and higher now. And it's like, you know, if you set it up here and you fall short by this much, it's like it's still you so much further than that low bar. You know what I mean?

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Is it more like you think just like the natural anticipation, nerves of what's possible and then the unknown or what do you. Yeah, yeah. I don't think it would be that. Yeah, I agree with you man. I think cause you achieved so much like that's you had an 80% improvement with not even doing pull ups. You went from 80 to 143. So.

Yeah, yeah, but, yeah, but then onto the kids like that's been the biggest, biggest change and I wasn't even expecting that coming into hpf. Like I said the reasons I sort of found HPF and whatnot. But I guess with prior to hpf I'd always. I was dirty on myself because when I played with the boys like it felt like a chore and I was so dirty on myself for feeling that way. And it wasn't that I didn't enjoy it, it was more because I, I got so much going on, on in my life. I'd say I've got a lot of plates spinning and whatnot. And then I'd be playing with them and I'd be thinking oh I should be doing this or I should be doing that and sort of dirty on myself. Cause I wasn't organized. I should have done that job today, but I didn't. So now I gotta do it tonight and I'm kicking the footy with the boys and just not, you know, not. I wasn't present basically. And that, that, that changed within the first week of being in hpf. Like Eric, my coach put me onto the get shit done protocol and which is, you know, work life balance, I think we call it now that course. And yeah, I'd always sort of had the story. I can't run a calendar cause I've got to be reactive with work. And you know, people can call Me and this, that and the other, but doing that. And again, this is about tackling something else for myself rather than that feeling with the boys and, you know, trying to be present with them. I had to tackle this and get myself in order first. The structure and the time and whatnot. And so we did that and quite quickly. And he's like, no, we're following the calendar. We're doing it like it's your time and your charge up. That first one on January 1st about the chunks of life like that saying, it's not time you're wasting. You're wasting chunks of life. And that one, like, it hit me straight away and I'm like, who is this wizard? But. And I, yeah, got on the car.

I think one of the members said that. But yes, yes, I'll claim partial credit.

Yeah. And then I, yeah, got. Got the calendar in order and had the time and I had it allocated for all the jobs and stuff. And I'm thinking right now I can put that out of my head and, you know, hang out with kids. And the other part was I started the 21 day challenge when I started, and that was luckily enough, it actually time to him. We did the primal pairs. So everyone did the 21 day challenge together. So it was really good to start that. And one of those is, you know, 10 minutes, one on one time with. With one of you children at whatever they want to do. And the excitement they got knowing it was their day and they got to pick. And it's like they'd say goodbye in the morning and be like, oh, it's my day, dad, today, dad. And, you know, I'm like, yep. What are you going to pick? I don't know. I'll see you in six hours after school. And like, just knowing that my time was organized, that I could be with them and I didn't feel like I had to be with someone else. And just being present with them like that, like that, that changed so quickly. Like, it was the lowest hanging fruit, I guess. And it was so unexpected. Like I mentioned to you, we're going traveling next year. We're hitting the road in the caravan for a year. And that came about like, I've always wanted to do it, but that sort of came about in the last couple of years. Cause I'm like, I didn't feel that connection with the boys that I felt I should have had. So always doing something. Renovating the house we bought next door. I'm doing this or I'm late with work or I'm on The phone all the time. I'm thinking that we need to do this trip so I can get away from that and build that connection with the boys and come second week in January. I'm like, what do we need to do this trip for? Like, it took so much of the, the need to do the trip. Cause I'm like, I've already got it in such a short time. Like the simple, you know, they're tiny little course corrections and have such profound impact. And that's like, that's just grown and grown. And I really notice now when I like if we're not doing it and I drop the ball and they're like, what about my 10 minutes, dad? And it's like, yeah. And I like that's so important to them and it's so important to me now. And it's 10 minutes. Like it always goes longer, but it's 10 minutes and it's like if I haven't got time for that, like, like what am I doing? Sort of thing. But that's been the big change with the boys and also the change in what I'm showing them because they obviously watch everything we do, they see everything. And I can tell them like I always sort of spoke to them like a few levels above what they are like, you know, explain things, you know, this is why I'm doing this or doing that and whatever. But then my actions wouldn't back it up. And then I think like getting so much into the fitness and looking after myself and whatnot. And even like this past month in winter wars, you know, took on gas tank challenge where there was, you pick one of six, you know, gas tank challenges, 200Ks on the bike, 50Ks running, you know, all the pull ups, sit ups, burpees, all that sort of thing. I thought, bugger, I'm going to pick them all, you know, feeling pretty fit. So I picked them all, took them all on. So I was getting up at 4:30 in the morning, head torch on, riding laps of our block at home and whatnot. And the boys are coming out in their Jamie some of the mornings, how what have you done today, dad? Like they're just, that's what they expect of me now and that's what they see. You know, a dad is, is that guy that's getting up before everyone being, being fit, getting strong, eating healthy, you know, all those things as opposed to, I guess back in the past it was like, I know you've mentioned it before on other podcasts. It's like I taught him to, you know, Go grab some beer out of the fridge. How good's this? And like that was me, you know. No, I wasn't a heavy drinker, but especially in the last four or five years with the whole fertility thing, that had definitely slowed up, but it was, that was what they were learning and that was what I was showing them, that normal was sort of thing and that. I guess that's probably another reason why I'd never call myself strong or fit in the past is because, you know, you'd hit. I'd start on these, you know, workout plans and all that and I'd do it for two weeks, then get on the piss with the boys one Saturday night and feel wrecked. And that exercise thing was out the window. So I've never sort of stuck at it and that's been a big thing, sticking at it. But yeah, the boys don't see me as a drinker anymore. Like I don't see myself as a drinker anymore. Like it's. I've changed that story from, you know, I drink to or. At the start it was like, I'm having a year off drinking but now it's like, no, I don't drink. So that's been a big part that I'm really proud of, I guess. And changing that now with the boys, that's, you know, hopefully it's sort of early enough and I think it definitely is. But they're not going to be growing up just thinking, you know, as soon as they can, they, they want to be getting beers and you know, doing all that sort of stuff. And like I had a great time growing up, don't get me wrong. Like formed some pretty good friendships with mates that I'll be friends with till the day I die. Like around drinking and what not. But also like it wasn't a requirement and I think if I can that path of health and fitness a lot earlier than I came to it, you know, late 30s or. Yeah, late 30s, I guess really, you know, I'll be doing something right there, I think. So that's good. Yeah. And they get involved now. Like Mav can do a pull up now. Like he gets out there and they, they'll jump up on the bench and you know, sort of jump, jump. Pull ups they can both do now. But Mav's getting a bit more involved in it and, and putting the work in every day and he's like, he's there now and he's like, dad, I did chin up. And Harvey's now sort of, they're pretty competitive and he's out there like, you know, trying the same. So it's. Yeah, proud moments seeing that sort of impact on them. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't even aware of like, I wasn't even looking at it like that in the past sort of thing. Wasn't even considering the impact I was having on them. Going through the motions sort of thing. On that front been a happy surprise of HPF is the relationship act on the boys.

That's phenomenal, man. You know, like you. Even the wording you mentioned with the alcohol, right, Like I not I can't drink. Almost like you're depriving of something you should be doing. It's. No, I don't. It's just not what I do. And my son Roman doesn't even know what a beer is. That's crazy. You know, like he's only four and obviously like. Yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't drink. But yeah, that's, that is pretty fucking funny though. But mate, that's just. Yeah, and that might seem. Those listening who obviously aren't like in, in on the inside with HPF might seem a bit odd, right? Or high performance father, you know, and, and to Luke's surprise, it maybe, but it's like it's a title man. Like high performance father is the after effects of lining everything up. Conditions that raise the children in the household. Obviously your relationship with your wife matters. The standards you set by example. It's not just communicating with your sons, it's you being fit as fuck and following through them. Watching you and how you interact with Jess and watching you go out and hunt, which no doubt you know, you'll. You'll talk of and like I do, I educate my children on an exchange of value and money and business and the shit you'll never learn and in school, but you need to teach your kids that stuff. And so there's, there's, there's so much value to you as a man being the prize, being 100 so and so forth that then has you as the natural byproduct of being a high performance father. And maybe we don't and. Well, we do, but. But maybe we don't or maybe we need to just highlight that a little bit more through exercises as well, Luke, because we absolutely involve it. There are, there are a group of fathers who went and did a, did a camping trip with the fathers and the kids, mate. How fucking unreal was that? I think it was about eight or nine of the guys up there, mate. The best. So good but one thing I wrote down, I was writing as you were sharing, that was the boys. You know, it's so powerful, that example. And this is for you guys who are listening to think through these questions I have here. Who do you actually see and look could be sons or daughters, but this is what I had for you, Luke. Like, who do you actually see your sons as? Well, who do you see your sons as? What do you see them doing? How are they behaving? You know, that's a real question for you men listening to this. Like, are my children gonna grow up and call their children fucking idiots? Because that's what I'm calling them, you know, like, that's a. That's a real, like, you know, what behaviors will they have? What are you actually saying? How are you operating? Yeah, that's a. That's a real thing to fast forward. So I guess with that being said, Luke, the health and fitness, the relationship, the time you're spending, special time. Awesome. All that stuff. Who do you see your sons as growing up? Where do you see them? Because that's a really cool exercise. We haven't necessarily done in hpf. We have, in some ways we've done eulogies and that sort of stuff, which is pretty confronting, but especially if you've got work to do, which we always do, but you're painting a pretty solid picture. So walk me through this, man. It's 10 years time. The boys are 19 and 17. I like, given what they're seeing and what you're doing, mate, they gotta be fucking crushing. But let's not just say that. What do you actually see him doing, man? What do you think? If you keep planting these seeds as young men, fucking family, self and service. How do you see them operating? Where do you see them going?

Yeah, it's probably not something I've looked out 10 years, like, done this exercise. But just while you were talking about it then, thinking, like, I'm very aware that it's not gonna be hard for kids these days growing up to stand out, because I think the bar is getting lower and lower. And I tell that to the boys. I'm like, you don't have phones or iPads or whatever. And like, they feel like they're missing out. But I'm like, if, you know, if. Okay, if we let you have a phone, Harvey, you would just be in your room for eight hours a night after school, and, you know, where's that going to get you sort of thing? So we're very conscious of that. I'm sure our kids don't love us for it now, but I'm hoping they will in the future. But yeah, I think it's going to be easy for kids to stand out as high performers, I guess, going through life and just put building work ethic and like. Like you say, teach them about, like, about money and whatnot. Like, the boys are on 5% interest a month, which is the best interest you'll get anywhere but with their, their pocket money. And they do jobs and they get paid. And if, yeah, they, they can buy one decent toy a month out of their money. Because Harvey just wants to buy something every day. And like. And right, you get once a month. You can buy it on the 1st or the 31st or wherever, but it's one go. And it's sort of teaching them that, that value of money. And you know, if you go and spend 40 bucks on something, you know, now and it gets ticks over to the end of the month, that's $40 less that you're getting that interest on. So they're now like Maverick. It's funny the difference in them. Harvey's just can't wait to the first and he's got a toy in mind. He goes and buys it. Whereas Maverick's like, no, I haven't bought anything this year. Because, you know, he's up to. He's getting, he's past Harvey's money now. You know, Harvey had a heap for birthday money and whatnot, but Mav's just chipping away at it and he's getting like. He's getting $11 interest a month now. And he's. They're working interest payments and all that sort of thing. And I'm like, you're right, they don't learn that in school. And well, not in the right context. Like, they'll learn the maths, but it's not, you know, we, we cannot live and survive in the world without money, yet we don't learn about it. And I'd like. I'll talk about it till the day I die. I'm open about. I'll tell you how much money I've made, how much I've lost, like, I don't care. It's so. It's such a big part of our lives, yet I've got friends that won't even, like, I don't know what, what money they're getting paid or anything. Like it's like a taboo new subject. And I just don't see it like that. And I think it's so important to understand how it works. How to get it, how to lose it, you know, what to do, what not to do. So in that regard, like, not just money either, but in relationships and friendships and their work ethic and all those sort of things, I'm becoming like, I'm more and more aware the more I become aware of, you know, things, but for them as well. So I'm actively trying to teach them in those areas as well, as opposed to, you know, like we asked the school for homework and stuff because one of them wasn't getting homework all of a sudden and the other one was. And we're like, we're asking for it. And they're like, oh, a lot of the parents just don't want it, don't do it. So we're just not gonna do it. And we're like, no, we wanna do it. And we put effort in after school with the homework, especially Jess, that we want them to do that. We don't wanna just rely on the schools to raise them at whatever standard, you know what I mean? Like, again, why just settle for this? And, you know, they love reading. And like, I'm a big reader. Jess is now a big reader. We banned phones out of the bedroom, probably, I don't know, five years ago, said nap. We're reading books, you know, so we did that. And now she loves reading. But, you know, the boys are loving that as well. So I guess if I look out 10 years and if I can not to pat myself on the back for this, but if I and Jess, we can keep these standards up, I guess, and show them what hard work is, show them finances, show them, you know, friendship, show them how to have self worth. All these different things. Like we've got chickens and we've raised pigs for food and all that sort of thing. Just teaching them real world things. Like, I think they'll be miles in front of the normal.

And not.

Not to bag out parents that are in that, you know, the normal that's just, you know, how can they not be? You know, how can they not be? Unless something sort of woken them up to do whatever and they're busy too, like, like cost of living. You sort of have to have both parents working, you know, I understand it. It was something I set out to, like, no, it's not going to happen that way for us, but I totally get it. And don't begrudge anyone that has got both parents working. Like, it's sort of a. It's an unfortunate necessity in this day and age, it seems, if we want to live the Lifestyles we live. But yeah, that was something. I'm pretty proud that I've been able to provide that. That and I think it'll serve the kids pretty well.

That's incredible, man. If they're doing pull ups now too, they're just going to be absolute weapons. So just even health, well being, relationships, you know, like your, your sons are going to be very well versed on what to look for because you're standard and. And also, yeah, you'll have them go through the marriage playbook as well, mate, before they're even married. So that's what not to do. It's, you know, it's, it's good. Like, it's that they won't even, you know, they're gonna be in such good shape, which I'll be teaching Roman and my daughters. You know, what to look for in a good man. And a good man to allow to take lead and know that he's earned that. I don't want my women, my little girls to become monsters like a lot of fucking women these days who you need that balance and blend. But with my son, absolutely. I'll be teaching him skills around relationships, communication and all the things you mentioned too, man, like how awesome and if proud's the word, so fucking be it. Because they are a collective of us, given they came in on a blank canvas, mate. So that's awesome. How you finding hpf, man? How you finding the journey? What are you enjoying? What do you love most about it? Love to get some shares on the journey. What you've done, it's been awesome talking to you. We've gone through some pretty, pretty cool stuff. But how are you finding everything?

It's all right.

That's right. I've got a coach who's German, big, thick accent, mate, he's got a beard. Jeez, he's got a beautiful beard. I'm jealous of.

Yeah, no, it's been. Oh, mate, it's been life changing. I think I brought it up in one of our chats once about, like, how do you describe HPF in one sentence or one paragraph? Because I just can't. There's so many facets to it. And I'm like, one day it's like, oh, it's this, it's the coaching and it's unreal and I get so much from this. And then it's like, oh, the coursework, I've been through this. But then coach Ben explained to me when we come down to Brizzy and he's like, he explains it, you know, 25%'s coaching, 25% is the coursework, and then 50% is the community. And I wholeheartedly believe that, like, that's been the strongest. I don't know, the strongest part of it, like, not taking away from the coaching or the coursework. But that wouldn't be what it is without the other blokes in hbf. And it's just having, you know, four or five hundred guys around that have been through it and they're all on, like. The way I sort of do describe it is everyone's. Everyone's on the same path to becoming better, which you don't find everywhere outside of hpf. There's a lot of just settling for whatever. But within, like, it's. It's always just an upwards path and that might be from down here, it could be from up here, and that doesn't matter. But everyone's on the same path and everyone speaks the same language because we have done the coursework and, you know, the coaching and whatnot. So I can call guys, like, there's a guy that we started on the same day, Chris, in Melbourne, and we're in different tribes and whatnot, so we don't too much within hpf. We call where at least once a week we're on the phone and, you know, they've had a path with fertility, sort of similar. They're still going through that now. And, you know, we're at our stage with it, but we clicked, like, over that and now, like, yeah, we talk business, we talk wives, we talk kids for Cosi. I'm gonna fly to Melbourne and we're driving. I'm driving up with him to Cossie. So it's those, you know, and as far as the same language, I can call him and I'll be like, oh, we had this blow up and, you know, this happened. What am I not seeing? And he'll be like, oh, you know, whatever, and say one word. It could be Viking or Panda or, you know, whatever. There's so many words we sort of work within hpf, it's that one word and we're both on the same page. Whereas outside of HPF and, you know, there's things I don't bring up with my close mates outside of HPF because their wives are friends with my wife. And it's not that we're shitting on our wives or anything like that, but it's just, you know, having that separation, I suppose, and everyone's just got everyone's back and wants the best for everyone, like, it's so positive in there. And there's guys that are, you know, like Hutto's famous for, you know, when he joined, he's like, is fucking everyone paid actors in here or what? Because this is just. This isn't real, you know, I actually spoke to Hutto for two hours after you spoke yesterday. He had a long time on the

phone, but 450 paid actors, Matt, I said, hado, you're costing me a fortune, man, just to stay in the community.

Yeah, but, but it sort of is like that and it's guys. I don't know. I remember when we had our first call and you, like, you had a vision for, you know, what I could become sort of thing. And I guess seeing the new guys come through now, I don't have the same vision as you, but I know just through. If they put in, I know where they're going to progress to. And, like, I'm excited for them. And it's like you've got no idea. Just if you just stick at it and just keep plugging away, like, where they're going to reach. And I don't know. Yeah, like I said, it's not the same vision that you would have, but I still see to a degree. And that's like, that's exciting. And you see guys come in there, you know, can be down and out and within a month, man, like, they're, they're putting in and it's the guys that put in, like, it's not just join up and your life's fixed. Like, it's the ones that are putting in and putting themselves out there and shares and whatnot. Because you. Yeah, the more, the more I share, like, I'm quite vocal with him, HBF and put a lot of shares out there, but it's probably selfish because you get so much back from it. It's. I put things out to hopefully provide some nuggets for some of the other guys that, you know, I might have sort of worked something out for myself and put it out there. But then, you know, you'll have 10 other guys comment and say, oh, that same as me. But I looked at it this way, or this happened or this is how I handled that. And it's like, where else do you get this? You know, so that's. Yeah, I still can't explain HPF in one sentence.

Just need to get what he said then on a tape recording, mate, and just to send them out, hand out little cassettes to people. Not that there's cassette players anymore, but

life changing And I can't see myself sort of stopping, you know, and I think that's true of a lot of the guys that get in and really apply themselves to it is that once you're in, it's like, you know, it's like learning about Christmas. And I won't go too far into that because I know someone will listen. But once you know, you can't unknow, you know what I mean? So once, once you're in hbf, it's like, oh, how can I sort of, how could I not be in hpf? So I'm hoping there's some sort of structure the longer I'm in, man. But anyway. But yeah, I can't see it stopping.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's pretty special to see the, the tribe connect like this. Chris is a legend, man. I can't. It'll be his first cosy too, so can't wait to have you both there, mate. It's going to be, be. It's just unreal. Yeah, more than double the size it was last year. Just can't wait. Hut will be there too, maybe. Yeah, it'll be epic. But sorry, Platinums. Yeah, you can bug with Hutto, mate, and help him with his shoulder mobility. But it was a great, great session I did with him the other day. We, yeah, the, the crazy part is, man, as I was walking just down the stairs today, I just had this flash come through and it was a, it was a young man who just had a baby and he's like, he's wearing all the gear and his baby. It was just a, it was just a weird like flash or premonition. I don't know. It was funny and he was saying I'm a third generation high performance father and, and I look, people might think that's corny, good for them, but that's, that's the game, man. Like, it's like, like you know, there's always going to be fathers, new fathers. Like, yeah, we want, we want to build legacies, man. And, and we want the, the grandfather to, to be rocking the gear and, and, and his grandson to have the little oversized single shirt when he's, you know, crawling around. And that's just so special, man. And it's, it's, it's, it's fucking hard, but it's absolutely worth it. How do we keep going and growing and, and, and as a movement, HBF just keeps fucking setting a standard that becomes so large that all of loose goals, dreams, everything you ever wanted can be realized and Everyone else's. And the network is so tight and built on trust and it's. It's fucking incredible, man. It really is. And it's all credit to men like yourself who follow through and apply themselves and do the work. And that's the, that's the thing too, Luke. Like we're seeing a common. We're really seeing a common thread as we've really becoming more seasoned. Right. So we're 2018, so we're entering into our eighth season season and, and that's just it. Like guys listening like you'll get lots of wins and fucking fast too. But we're not a quick fix, you know. And, and, and we're here to help you and, and dedicate our lives to be essential in your life with our coaching and, and specifics on what your path is one to one. But you gotta be a fucking team player. We don't want lone wolves. We want men who. And so a lot of men have either sporting backgrounds or they understand the value of, of having the right people around you. And that, that tribe, that culture is phenomenal, man. And so I'm starting to really see these patterns not that other people, you know, we're not trying to fit everyone into one thing. You just see common, common traits. And it's like that's, that's the strength and the power and we want to. And look, not all men, we've always got work and race to improve. So it's not like all men come to us great and made. It's like, no, but we want to help turn good men great. That's the whole fucking point. That's why we exist as well. So, so I say that not to push people away either, like everyone's got fucking mess. But also it's like there are these common things, man, where it's like if you're responsive, following through on what you need to do, connecting into your tribe, you're here for the long haul but you want to rack up quick wins. But you're willing to invest the time like they're. It's all upside. It's all upside. That's what we'll keep doing. Which like you shed light on them mate and you come into the catch ups and traveling around mate. So awesome. You know, that's pretty cool too. Doing catch ups. You got men traveling interstate to connect with the brotherhood and it's the common thing I see Luke is out from the men on the inside is like our hprof is like nothing I've ever seen or felt before. And My first thing always goes to looking at all these other groups. Whatnot being, what are these other groups missing? Because you see them all. And so. And that's what makes me angry when people try and compare us to other groups or clicks or. I mean, there's millions of groups. Even if it's a group of three people on a Facebook chat, there are millions, millions of groups in the world. But, mate, you're looking at the top 1% of the top 1% here because of the fucking depth, the mission, the purpose. But that, that's what we see commonly, Luke. It's like, mate, this is. This is like fucking nothing I've ever seen before. It's just. It's just so legit. Like, for me, I've been part of some championship sporting teams and, mate, that's not even close to what we have here. But I love that it's the game of life too. It's pretty, pretty special. Mate, what a session. I, yeah, really enjoy this with you, man. I had so much more, like, I, yeah, so much more fun and enjoyment doing this with you than I did with Hutto. I hope Hutto's not listening to this. Sorry, mate.

He is 97 years old.

Yeah, he's 107. 97. So, yeah, yeah, but he had a pretty cool background, though, of Eric in the chopper and explosions and stuff.

So bless him, our squad leader meeting every Tuesday night.

Does he. That's the, the old get to the chopper, man. So good. But no, it's been awesome, man, I think. Well, I know you guys listening have got a fuckload of value out of Luke's wisdom and shares, but I think it'd be unreal, mate, just to. Just to wrap up on extending that out to others. Any, any wisdom, any advice for men, like, you know, tips. How do you, as a man, as a father, juggling it all. Start leveling up, start taking the steps, start taking action. Like what? It's hard to say. What's your number one quote? Like, people ask me that at times. I'm like, fuck, man, there's just too many. But, like, what? I guess what would be any final or points of advice or tips for guys out there listening, man? Any other key things? Because you've driven home some pretty solid stuff, man. But Bear, anything else you wanted to add or share as we wrap this up, Mate, it's been pretty cool to connect.

I think for guys that haven't sort of gone down the path yet, it's taking a, A good hard look at yourself and ask yourself, am I Playing the victim, like what we spoke about before. Because if you're still stuck in that mindset, like, I don't know that there's hope for change. Like, it's not gonna change. There's no path for. For getting better just by other people fixing, you know, their. You think, their problems. But it's focusing on yourself and where you can improve for yourself and that. That's where it starts, I guess, looking inwards. Like, I. I don't know, One thing I've sort of been doing lately, because, I mean, I'm not perfect by any means. Like, I might be talking up all these things that, you know, that we're doing within hpf. And it's amazing. And you learn so many new things and whatnot. And then, you know, to focus on that. And you. You know, you might work on it and think, oh, I've sort of got that mastered now. And then you're working on something else, and you let the ball drop a little bit over there. And it's always. It's just monitoring it and actually talking to Hutto. I said I'd steal this off him, but full credit to Hutto. Yesterday when we were talking, after he chatted with him, he brought it up. It was a really great analogy. Was like, it's like watching security monitors, and you sort of zoom out. To start with, we're all stuck in. Stuck inside sort of thing, and not with no perspective. And then you zoom out, and it's like looking at one security monitor and going, oh, shit. You know, I haven't looked at this way with my kids before. And then, oh, hang on, there's another monitor. Cause you zoom out again. You see, with your wife and your work and how to handle this and all, it's like monitoring all these security monitors. Cause that's what my journey's been like. Like, it's hard to pinpoint what, you know, what the greatest thing has been for me, because there's just so much awareness now about life, basically. And, yeah, that was a really good analogy. That now you're not stuck in the monitor, you're out, and you can see them all. And I'm like, yeah, you know, but there's more and more monitors getting out of it all the time. But he's like, yeah, but you sort of. You deal with that. And then it goes on, like, on sleep mode. And it's just. It'll come up again later when it needs to. So you don't have to monitor that because you've sort of worked it out. And Then you know, you're seeing all these, whether they're issues or, or whatnot, what to do. But that was a really good analogy for me. Cause I see it like that. And I guess for a lot of guys that aren't down that path, they're still stuck in that monitor and you can't see it until you zoom out. One other thing I've been doing just recently with some of the work we've been doing and challenges and journaling and whatnot, is sort of asking the question for as recent as a week ago, I think I wrote it down. My, like from your kid's point of view. My dad is awesome because. And it's not because he's doom scrolling on the couch or you know, or that's what you ask yourself. What would your kids say? My dad is awesome because. And that's not what they're gonna say. Or cause he's got lots of houses or. Cause he works lot. Lots or he's always doing emails or like, you know what, your kids don't need that. They don't value that. And it's, you know, did you spend five minutes bouncing your kid on your knee or you know, without doing that while you're on your phone? Yeah, hang on, hang on. And that was me, you know, know, through and through. Like I'm around a lot. I can sort of work from home a bit and I've got a home office and you know, I'm sort of around once the kids are back from school and it's. But I wasn't present. So that's, that's one thing is just looking within and really assessing, assessing yourself because it's so easy to push the blame on other people. But it's like, are you showing up for your family and for yourself? You know? Yeah. Are you fit? Do you have that capacity? Like, that's a big part of HBF is building up that capacity. So you can give it, you know, be 100 to give 100. That's something we hear all the time. And it is so true. And you know, are you that person? Are you sitting on the couch with your guts hanging out with a, you know, with a beer in your hand? Is that, is your wife going to come and jump your bones because, because of that image or because you were 20 years ago or, you know, like you've got to look within. It doesn't, doesn't start anywhere else. It's, it starts with you and it ends with you. So that's, that's the advice. I'd Give.

Yeah, it's phenomenal, man. That last piece too, like, for a lot of men that exercise with the. My dad is awesome. Because, yeah, like, for a lot of you guys who feel like you've lost that Spark, or the Mrs. What's the reason why she was attracted to you in the first place? We get a lot of guys reach out and they've got both. They're just operating with too much panda. It's like me, mate, like, you don't need to ask your wife. Give her another decision to make. Like me, maybe tell her out of respect, but draw a line in the sand. Because a lot of the times men face resistance or the wife doesn't believe their track records, so they don't want them to do something new, whether. Whether it's HPF or not, and then they just fold like a lawn chair. It's like, me, mate, you just failed another one. What's the reason why people found value in you in the first place, which drew them into your life in the marriage? But secondly, absolutely, man. With the children, that. That's beautiful process. Writing out my. My. My dad is awesome because, like, yeah, I love that it can be simple.

It's because he kicked the soccer ball with me. Like, that's. That's the highlight of Mav's day at the minute of this. Can you kick the ball, dad? And it's like, that's what he's gonna value. And am I giving him that value? Am I filling his cup in that way? And it's so simple, you know? And now that you get through that 10 minutes or half an hour or whatever it turns into. And, you know, you get so much from it, knowing that you've filled his cup for the Arbo sort of thing. And, yeah, that was. I don't know, it's funny. I've sort of been putting the time and the, you know, the present timing with the kids, and I'm loving. I'm getting so much out of it, but I'm like, hang on. Like, that's sort of even selfish, me doing it for that reason. Now I'm looking at. I'm like, fuck, it's a gift to be able to. To give that to them. That's the main thing. And then I get even more from that. You know what I mean? I sort of wasn't looking at that correctly, I suppose. Even when it, you know, when it started happening, I was like, yeah, sweet. I feel, you know, that connection and whatnot. But then, so hang on, this is for them. It's not for me.

Yes. That's epic, man. Great advice. And look, guys, whether it's your, your wife, your kids or anyone, like, certainty is a very attractive thing. Making decisions, following through, committing and connecting through the eyes of others and what they value. That's leadership 101s. You can influence them accordingly, providing value through their eyes and following through on those commitments and connections. So you're getting more bang for your buck. Like, these are invaluable pockets of time that will just pay massive dividends like Luke's sons, which won't come without challenges, as we all know. Like, fuck. I look at the world today and it's like, shit, man. How do I protect my children as much as possible? Start in the household, man. Develop some deep rooted. Plant those acorns that become those big beautiful oak trees for them in their life. So they have a, a beautiful moral compass and a big beautiful tree with shade that protects them against the rest of the, the fallen bullshit that you see out there. And then like I said, Luke, they'll just, they'll just stand out. Analogy is really cool too, those security monitors, you know, like, you can't, you can't see alternate perspectives or possibilities if you're stuck in that one frame, can you? Yeah, I really like. It's a good visual. Hutto would have loved that one because he was born before televisions come in. So that would have been very revolutionary.

Scroll. There was these scrolls where you had to scratch.

That's right, yeah. Say was. What was his saying? Don't plant the wax. Don't put the seal on first. You got to read all the scrolls before you seal them and send them.

He's a legend. He's so good.

So, boys, just wrapping up this, this podcast is turning into a roast. That's what. That's the next step.

Hey, start on Jimmy's rash

high performance roasting. So who's next? Let's bring some. We'll get Luke.

He's gone. He's gone.

Luke and me will start a show. Luke and I are going to co host now and we're going to bring other HPF members on and get on them. Or we'll just bring Hutto on. We'll just run 100 episodes because it's not. Yeah, we don't, we don't want to hear the tease.

And we won't get 100 out of him.

That's right. We'll only get 100 out of him.

Sorry, Tony.

It's a good tribe, man.

It's a good crew.

You know, I Don't need mates, man. I've got the men in hbf. It's so good, so good. Love your work, bro. Thanks for sharing the time.

Oh, it's a pleasure. Thank you very much for inviting me on. I was a bit nervous, but yeah, it was good fun, mate.

It's, yeah, like I said, incredible wisdom. I, like, always have written a heap load of notes, mate, and that's where I draw the inspiration and even a lot of the ideas, they're not mine, mate. They're the chunks of life. Even that, like, that's just such. I'm sure it was one of the members or someone. It's like, wow, that's a really good way to look at. But, no, I'm blessed and lucky for what I do, man. It's a pleasure and honor to serve you, man, as well. And yeah, thanks, gentlemen. I hope you guys really enjoyed this. I certainly did. And I'll be listening again, especially the past with Hutto. Then I'll chop it up, we'll do some edits, we'll send it off. But it's been awesome spending some time with him.

Thank you.

Thanks, Luke. Hope you boys enjoyed this. And above all else, make sure you take just one thing. Although Luke said it perfectly at the end. But just take one thing and take. Take it and don't just apply it. Fucking run with it, like, apply it lots of times and make it part of your life. And I promise you, you will see progress in some way, shape or form. We'll see you on the next one. Cheers, guys. Well, that wraps up another episode. And just as we wind this down, I want you to just reflect and think back through some of the golden nuggets, some of the revelations, some of the sore points, some of the things that might have hit home with you. And then just look at ways that you can apply a different set of actions to change your position, change your circumstances, change your feelings, and change the facts. These episodes are done with your best interest at heart, and there's always something we can get from that. Maybe it's not the first time, maybe it's the second time. We've had members listen to episodes four or five times and then it finally clicks. But either way, I hope you got a lot of value out of this. And also, if this is something that you really want to solidify inside of your life, repetition is the key. You'd listen to it, write down your revelations, think about them, read them, speak them, believe in the changes that you will carve out in the action plan of those revelations to create change in your life and then share that. And when you teach, you learn the second time, right? So teaching and showing this to others you love and care about is the greatest way that you can remember and make sure you consistently learn and relearn what is it's true and what is it is important to you in your heart. Take care, have an amazing day night weekday weekend and I'll see you for another one soon. Cheers.