No Balls: Sciver-Brunt's tricks, dinner party picks, and Crossy's icks

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You've listened to all the podcasts and are plugged into tech talk. But when it comes to topics like AI, data analysis and cybersecurity, you're still not sure how to put them into practice in your career. Sound familiar? To build and apply the technical skills you need, try co Codecademy. Here's the thing. Code Academy isn't just another place to watch videos and hope you remember something. Their whole platform is interactive and built for you to learn by doing. Instead of just leaning back and zoning out, you can go at your own pace and see real results fast. Codecademy gives you over 700 hands on courses and guided paths in everything from the basics to advanced tech topics. You also get prep for top certifications from aws, Microsoft, Google, Cloud and Comptia. New boot camps to learn live from industry experts and a global community with over 50 million learners. So if you're ready to learn by doing, head to codecademy.com to grab a seven day free trial. That's C O D E C-A--E-M-Y.com.

Al, we've got to issue a swear warning because you are an absolute potty mouth.

Not another one.

And you need to remember that your grandma listens to this.

She does. She also abuses me on social media.

But don't worry, we beep it out.

See, your kids can listen.

And Grandma Jean.

First ball castled.

Now I'm celebrating for Crossy. That one was for Crossy. That was a beautiful delivery. The wobble ball again from Kate Cross. And that is such an important wicket. Kate Cross in for the hat trick ball. Oh so wide. Hello and welcome back to no Balls, the cricket podcast with me, Alex Hartley and a shivering kitty Scott.

I've got goosebumps Are you okay? See them?

Yeah, that was weird.

Sorry about that. You okay?

Yeah.

You? Someone stepped on my grave. Is that what that means?

Oh, really? Burning ears is. Someone's talking about you. Yeah, itchy noses. You're coming into money. You're getting a shiver.

Someone's on my grave.

You're not even dead, though. That's weird.

Yeah, I don't really understand that one. We're in the posh studio. Out.

We're in the posh studio. And look. Don't we look cute up there? Apart from I don't like that picture of my massive double chin.

That looks.

Yeah, I look like a hippo. Do you know when they go that's what I look like?

Oh, it wasn't on the bingo card. Didn't think you'd have a hippo impression in the first three minutes, but yeah, maybe they were just the free photos that they could get access to.

Yeah. Anyway, how are you?

Oh, we're holding hands in that middle one.

Oh, that was there. I retired. Retired.

Yeah.

You came in. You actually came in today. Went, oh, look how skinny you were in 2017.

Tiny. I said tiny. I feel you are tiny.

Look how tiny you were.

Bet that mud wouldn't get around your neck now. I'm joking. Everyone back off. Anyway, you.

Well, no, not anymore.

You're in the wellness club.

I'm in the wellness Club. I am, actually. I have been well in the wellness club the last two weeks. I'm very well. I'm really well. The sun is shining.

Beautiful day today. And we're in a room with no windows. Misely Friday, and we're in that studio with all. It was all glass.

I actually sent you a voice note today. I said, don't be fooled by the temperature on your phone is boiling outside.

Yeah, it wasn't boiling. It was just warm. Me?

Yeah. Four degrees. I don't get that. It said four degrees. Feels like eight degrees. Therefore it's eight degrees.

I've never understood the feels like thing.

If it feels like 8 degrees, it's 8 degrees. If it feels like minus 8, it's minus 8.

Yeah, I wonder what that's about.

I think that's because the weathermen never know what's going on.

Keep your guessing.

They do. They'll say, oh, by the way, it's raining everywhere today. And you look out your window, it's dry.

Yeah, that's true.

Wasted job.

I wouldn't say wasted. People need weather reports.

Do they?

I'd say so.

Well, not when it says 4 degrees. Feels like 8. It's anywhere between 4 or 8 degrees.

I'm cold skinned, aren't I? So I would feel it more closer to the minus 8 than you might do. So maybe that's. It's to give people the spectrum.

No, I think they just don't know what the temperature is.

Anyway, I'm okay. I'm good. I'm well. Yeah, yeah, good, good. Got a mushed up finger actually. Yeah.

Come on, show the camera because we're in the studio. You can.

Which one?

That is so fat.

Look at it compared to that one you see. Sorry. I'll do it. That's in case your kids are watching.

What happened?

I was fielding and I went just in my pastime, you know, hobby, and I went to dive for a ball and my finger got stuck in the ground and I saw this joint go backwards. So I was like, let's do this again straight away.

Cross is dramatic, by the way.

You are if you see something pointing the wrong way.

She went off cramp a couple of times.

A couple of years ago I did cramps. It's not just me that does that. This was subluxed. It's the word. So, yeah, fat finger now.

It is very fat.

Very fat bowling fingers.

All well. Oh, shame. A couple days off. Bowling.

Hobby?

Hobby.

My hobby.

Your hobby.

But yeah, other than that, other than a fat finger, all good.

How is the hobby going?

It's going okay. Yeah.

Yeah.

It's January, pre season.

You're in.

We're not too far away from going away.

That's. That keeps you going, does it?

It does, doesn't it? And we've got half term, February half term, which is nice.

Yeah.

Well, it's just a week off in half term, but we're calling it Feb. Half term. Yeah, but yeah, okay, all good.

Oh, good. Yeah. So I've got nothing to report. I have really not done much. I've booked my flight to Sri Lanka. I leave on Saturday at 8:30pm World Cup. Going to the World Cup.

Can we just please talk about cricket? Australia's promotion for the World Cup.

How good is it?

For anyone who has not seen this, I urge you to go on cricket Australia, men's, Instagram, Twitter, whatever it is, and watch Pat Cummins doing a stand up routine about cricket. It's fantastic.

It's so good. That man is on every single advert.

You would, you, you would. It's like Belly for rcb. You do it, don't you? You know, they're not daft.

True, true, true. Have you got anything?

Sticky note I do. Shouted at. Oh, she shouted at me last week, didn't I? So I wrote some stuff down.

Yeah.

Number one, write things on your sticky note. Yes, I've got a few things. We had a little email today, didn't we?

Yeah. Well, I got really jealous because you said, oh, I've had an email. And we were just walking to get some lunch and I was like, oh, that's amazing. And then at lunch I was like, oh, I've had the same email.

It's an invitation to take part in a special women's cricket versus women's tennis episode of BBC's Bargain Hunt.

Can't wait. Can we do it?

I don't think I can. I think I'm on preseason.

This is why crickets. You shouldn't have signed that.

Keep getting sh. No one knows that. Yeah. A bit annoying, really. I would love to do it. I actually. What do you call it? I applied for me and Hen to go on Bargain Hunt a couple of years ago. Did you think? Not heard anything back.

So it's because they were lining you up for the celebrity one.

Yeah. Tennis as well.

Who would we go, I can't do it without you, can I? Because it'd be like, imagine me and you, like the red or the blue team against somebody else.

Yeah.

Like a little noble special.

I don't think you'd be very good on Bargain Hunt. Because you wouldn't. It's like all antiquey stuff and you. You're not into that. Not that I.

No, but I'd be like, how. They'd be like, how much is that? 10? Or I'd be like, I'll give you four quid. I'd be good at that.

Yeah. You'd haggle. But, like, then things like. I watched from the. I. I do watch Bargain Hunt. I quite like it.

I.

There was one the other day and they bought these, like, statues for in your garden and it was like 120 quid and I was like, signing that at a junk sale.

Yeah. How much did they go for?

They bought them. That was the over. That was the one that you got to spend over 100 on. The big spend.

Yeah. But did they not then.

Oh, I don't know. I can't remember that.

Oh, she's really into Bargain Hunt.

I didn't say, I'm really into it. I said, I'll watch it.

I like Antiques Roadshow.

Oh, no, don't like that one.

We actually. Right. Because this is a BBC podcast, we're talking about BBC's bargain hunt. I think we should go on the Traitors.

I don't think we decide that.

No. But here's my application.

Okay. I think I'd be terrible on it. I.

But I think me and you, you just wink at me about, she's a traitor.

Everyone would know that we're friends.

Yeah, I know. That's okay.

They booted Ross out because he didn't know that he knew someone on there and they said he was a traitor because of that. You can't have alliances in there. I'd have to pretend I don't know you. Which actually would be good fun.

It's what you would. You've been wanting to do for years.

I do do that. Quite a lot, actually. Who wrote her? I don't know.

Who's that? I don't know. Okay.

I. I think you'd be good on Traitors, but I don't think I'd be very. You'd be like Alan Carr. Yeah. You'd be rubbish, but hide it in plain sight. Whereas I'd just be like.

They'd be like, your trace. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a good way of doing it.

I think you'd last about three episodes before they go and vote you off, then see if you are.

Yeah, that's true. And you'll be like, yeah, go on. I don't care.

Yeah.

And you'll cry when you get voted out.

Oh, that didn't last very long.

So, yeah, BBC Bargain Hunt.

That would be so good. Please.

Maybe next year.

Please, please, please, please, please don't.

Rules out.

Speaking of next year, I got invited this year to do the Manchester marathon, didn't I? And it seems a bit soon. It's in April, and I ran 3k the other day and stopped. I hated every single second of it. But then I thought, oh, I could do the half in October because that Manchester marathon have invited me to do that. But we've decided together, I think we.

Should say this out loud because then we'll have to do it.

But we. We. Okay. We might do it next year.

I think we're gonna regret this.

I'm already regretting it. Crossy. I ran 3K. It's like 24K, isn't it? Or like, what's the marathon like, 50K?

42, I think.

42K. I ran 3.

We'd have to do 21K to do a half. And I suggested, why don't we do the 10k? Like, Manchester 10k.

Oh, we could do that tomorrow.

And you were like, oh, yeah, we'll do that. Tom, you just said you hated your 3K.

Yeah, but if you put your mind to it.

I'm not sure. I just, I think. I think we were a bit. You said you're on the runners high, you'd just been out for a runners.

High, ran 3k, you ran 3k, you're.

On the runners high. And you were like, yeah, we can do it. And I just, I really. I think we'll hate it because we'll have to train. And that's the problem.

I know, I know, but I need something in my life. Do you know, like I needed the podcast. When I was at my low, my lowest of low.

I agreed to a podcast. I'm not agreeing to a marathon fee. I'm sorry.

My sticky note.

Yeah.

My phone starts ringing this morning, Crossy at 4:51.

Oh.

And I panic because my phone doesn't ring. It goes on double ring.

Don't.

Well, certain people have to double ring people in my favorites, which are mom, dad, my brother and you. You only have to ring me once and it'll come through. So mom's ringing me. It's at 4:51.

It's bad news.

I thought, my dad's dead. Graham's dog's dad's mom's dead.

I thought, oh yeah.

I thought Ken's dog's dad's mom's dad's dog's dead. Anyway, I thought dad's dead. He's had heart attacks of it. Mum's ringing me to say you've got to get up and go to hospital. So I don't answer it because it's the middle of the night. I text you saying, you sorry, you.

Think your dad's passed away and he didn't answer the phone call?

No, it's the middle of the night. A text is saying you okay? Is what I text.

So at this point, are you planning on just rolling over and going back to sleep?

No. Well, annoyingly, I couldn't go back to sleep because I'd been woken and you're.

Probably thinking about your dad.

Yeah, I was. So I texted my mum at 4:51. You okay? It takes her two whole minutes to reply and I'm just staring at my phone at the middle of the night.

She might not have signal in the hospital.

Well, I thought if it's an emergency, she'll ring me again. So she said yes. I was just getting up and it rang you. I'm sorry, it rang you. No, Julia, you pressed ring.

Do you know in the episode on Friday that we did where I was like, there's so many parts of your behavior that I just don't question. Cause it's so abnormal that I have to ignore a lot of it.

Yeah.

This is not one I can ignore.

Yeah. Anyway, so I ring my mum. I said, all right, you dopy cow. He woke me up at 5 o' clock in the morning. Sorry, my phone just rang, you said, and it rang your brother. So not only did she ring me and my brother, she's getting out of bed. The whole family's got to be up. We haven't lived together for 10, 20 years. Mustard on this share of bed.

Is he all right?

Well, he's not dead. I haven't heard from him today.

Should we check?

Should I ring him?

Jackie's all right.

I can't.

There is nothing worse, though, than when a family member rings you at a time they don't normally ring you. And then you're like, oh, everything just runs through your head, doesn't it? I, at that point, wouldn't turn over and go back to sleep. I would probably answer the phone.

Well, I text to say, are you okay? And funnily enough, my brother didn't answer either. And also text to say, are you okay?

Okay, Bit crickety now. Sticky notes. Nat Silverbrunt.

Yes.

Little ripple. First hundred in the WPO. And her first E2000. Harder to believe.

That's her first E2800.

Yeah.

I suppose she bats quite low down for England. Or 4.

3.

Maybe not then. Where have I been for UK. That's her first T2800. That is hard. So she got 100 in all formats now, then.

Yes, but not for England.

Not for England. Yeah.

The.

There was a. So when I was commentating over there, there was this big thing that Daggers would always try and jinx the hundreds. So when someone gets into. Because there's been two 99s, which is unusual, and then obviously no hundred yet in the WPL until Nat Sivverbunk comes along. So Daggers would always be like, oh, she's gonna get it. She's got it when they're in the 90s. And then someone would get out and he'd be like, oh, I've done it again. So then for Nat to actually get the hundred was not Daggers's fault. But not. It was a bigger deal because all the commentators I know would have been talking about it. And the fact that she was in the 90s.

Yeah. And daggers wasn't on air.

No. It was Mel Jones. Who do you want call in those moments? But the absolute goat of women's commentary team.

Oh, no. Mel Jones. Yeah.

What a woman.

So, yes, Siva Brunt. I mean, it was always going to be her, wasn't it?

I suggested Liselle Lee and she did get to 95 when I was on air.

Yeah.

But not Liselle.

More cricket.

Yep.

Netherlands.

The Netherlands.

The Netherlands Women's.

Why are you laughing at that? It's a good impression.

Sounded like Gru from the Minions.

No, Greece sounds like. How does Greece sound?

I want to.

I'm going to steal the moon.

Anyway. The Netherlands have qualified for the World Cup. That's my Gru accent, not Netherlands accent. Yeah. The Netherlands women have qualified for the World cup for the first time ever because they beat the USA Today. So it means that they are guaranteed a top four finish in the Super Sixes.

Oh, okay.

So for the first time ever.

Amazing.

For the Netherlands.

First time ever. Nice.

Yeah.

So I played against the Netherlands in the Netherlands in. What would it have been? It would have been the European Championship. So one of my first appearances for England, it was effectively the under 19.

It was in Scotland.

No, we went to the Netherlands and played the Netherlands and Shaws. He was head coach.

Oh. So I played them and Scotland in Scotland.

Nice.

Yeah. It was Scotland in the Netherlands.

In Scotland. No. Do you know who it sounds like? Big summer blowout.

Oh, yoo hoo. Big summer blowout.

That's what it sounds like. That's great news. So do we know who's in the. Is anyone else qualified yet?

No, not yet. Do you want the Super Sixes?

Can I guess?

Yeah.

Ireland. Yeah. Scotland.

Yeah.

Netherlands.

No, sorry. Netherlands.

Netherlands. Usa. Nepal. No, bad guess. Gone.

Bangladesh.

Yep.

Sri Lanka and West Indies.

Are they in there?

Thailand.

Because the World Cup's going to more teams this time, isn't it?

12.

Nice. Right. Do you have anything else?

Yeah, loads. I've got loads. Moe. Nally.

Oh, yes. Mo.

Super Mo.

He signed for Yorkshire.

Signed for Yorkshire. He's gonna coach the Lions.

With Stokesie.

With Stokesie. The best thing about Moanelli signing for Yorkshire because he's obviously been at Warwickshire for such a long time, he's now gone and done loads of interviews today and they've all come out. Oh, he did them a couple of days. They've all come out today. He's done every single into it in his Yorkshire shirt.

Did you expect him to be in his Warwickshire kit?

No, I expected him to be in a T shirt like you are, or a jumper like me. He was wearing full Yorkshire kit.

Yeah. You normally have to do that though, I don't know. You do normally, if you go and sign for a club, you normally have to wear the kit.

But he's talking about like Ben Stokes being captain Fringley in a Yorkshire.

Yeah, good on him. Promo.

I love it.

Cheapest promo you can do.

Yeah.

I really liked his interview where he was like, some fans might be quite annoyed that they signed a 38 year old. But I'm here to win and at this stage of my career I'm really about winning. I was like, this stage of your career, I'm only 38. Yeah.

No, he's not here about winning, he's here about money.

Said he's got a couple more years in him.

Good.

40 odd goals.

Good lad, good lad.

Speaking of. It's not speaking of anyone but it's just reminding me I messaged you you'd gone to the gym and I messaged you and I just put Harry Brooke, ha ha, ha, ha ha ha. And you were like, what's he done now? Yeah, mental.

Yeah. Because when you said Harry Brooke, hahaha, I thought, oh, how's he got out now? Is actually what I thought.

What's he done?

What has he done now? He has done something. He did do something.

When I left the gym, he would have been, I reckon, I don't know the stats, but I think he would have been about 25 off 20 balls, maybe not even.

He got 136 off 66.

I thought there was a typo on my app when I got to check the score.

What the hell that is just.

Do you know when it doesn't compute in your head. So I knew that England were like gonna get to about 260, 270 if they carried on batting well. And then I looked at the score, they were 3, 5, 7.

Don't you feel sorry? Like Joe Root, like grinding it out. Run a ball. 100. Amazing. You're in Sri Lanka. It's turning. It's a little bit better wicket than the other day, but. And then Harry Brooke comes in and goes, haha, this is easy.

But you cannot have Harry Brook at his best without Joe Root doing the grinding.

No, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. But yeah, it was what's Harry Brooke done now? And it was utterly ridiculous.

Did he see a celebration?

I've just seen it.

Yeah.

I think it's very funny. I think that he stone cold Steve Austin banging two beers together and did he pretend to drink them? Is that what he did?

It was Quite, I thought it was quite small. It was a nod to the inner. It was a. I've been in a bit of trouble for this. But this is quite funny. If he didn't go all out, I.

Think he would have been better doing the jail route.

Oh, the mic dropped. Remember? He dropped his bat. That's funny.

Joe Root's very good at celebrating.

Is he?

Yeah, he does those little. I like that.

I think, though, if you have that many hundreds, you have to come up with more ways of celebrating.

You ever planned like a wicket celebration?

Only if someone's asked me to do something.

Yeah, I, I, we had one.

Do you remember the tea that was. Oh, yeah, yeah. Could you nick my cup?

I did a nitty cup and fans wanted us to. If I, I'm not because I'm coming out of retirement. This is because I'm coming out of retirement. When I get a wicket. What celebration do you want me to do?

Celebration is never going to happen.

Can't get wicked when you got the yips. Double bouncer. No ball. We.

I'd like to see a cartwheel.

Do you know what? Or a handstand. I'll do a cartwheel. I'll do a cartwheel when you get your next wicket. Sorry, In a, in a game. You're not doing it in preseason. Because I want it on a live stream. You've got to pretend this is where our humans are.

Don't make it so silly. Because I won't do it if it's so silly. No, I won't.

You pretend to have a boo. Okay, now you can't. Don't look at me like that. It would really help me laugh.

I'm sorry. How else do you want me to look at you? I don't think, I don't think my 18 month old niece would have found that as funny as you just have.

I've got tears in my eyes. Okay, when you get your next wicket, I want you to dab like old school.

I'll do that. I'll do you a dab.

Yeah, old school dab.

Don't mind a dab. Yeah, don't mind a dab.

Okay.

Didn't you have a triangle? One month with Sarah, Danny, Hazel and you. You. The points of the triangle.

No, I think that was Anya Shrubsall. Danny, Hazel and Sarah Taylor.

Okay.

I think I was just out.

Just out. They were just looking at you through it. I. There's the hundred. Stuff's obviously gone out in the last couple of days and the fixtures have been announced. Oh, we're opening. Opening night.

You're looking well.

Thanks.

Looking younger than promoted.

That by the way, went down really well on Instagram and everyone. It wasn't Sunrises leads, by the way, who put that out? So don't think that it was the admin at Sunrises because they, they do AI differently. But that went down very well. But we've got. Yeah, opening night.

Well good.

So why was I talking about that? Oh, all the hundred stuff's come out and the hundred put like a montage video out of people dancing when they've taken wickets. And I'm just not. I'm not really here for that. And no, Sam Curran did a lot of it last summer. Eccleston did it again. There was like a tick tock dance. Not I don't. I'm not really gonna be on it.

Dabbing.

I'll be dabbing. Hopefully I'll get a wicket before the hundred start. Oh God. That'll be a dry summer.

You've listened to all the podcasts and are plugged into tech talk. But when it comes to topics like AI, data analysis and cyber security, you're still sure how to put them into practice in your career. Sound familiar? To build and apply the technical skills you need, try Codecademy. Here's the thing. Codecademy isn't just another place to watch videos and hope you remember something. Their whole platform is interactive and built for you to learn by doing. Instead of just leaning back and zoning out, you can go at your own pace and see real results fast. Codecademy gives you over 700 hands on courses and guided paths in everything from the basics to advanced tech topics. You also get prep for top certifications from aw, aws, Microsoft, Google Cloud and Comptia. New boot camps to learn live from industry experts and a global community with over 50 million learners. So if you're ready to learn by doing, head to codecademy.com to grab a seven day free trial. That's C O D E C-A--E-M-Y.com.

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Okay, I've got two things come. I'm stiff.

Yep.

I've not moaned on this podcast. I've not said I'm tired.

It's because you're in the wellness club.

I am in the wellness club. Crossing after the six Hyrux classes since I got back, I cannot move, I cannot breathe. I cannot sit on the toilet every time.

I love that feeling.

Every time I move in the night, my muscles hurt.

I like that feeling of not being able to sit on the toilet because you just know you've worked really hard. Slash your body's not used to exercising so you have to hurt yourself to do it.

Yeah. Today it was like you have to do like a little like squat clean thing. So I'm like, okay, well I'll just like put tens on either side of the bar. Lol.

No, I couldn't squat. You can't do that. I remember when I went to body pump for the first time. This was years and years and years ago. And I'd like weight trained. I was in cricket, so I was properly weight training. And they're like, right, get the bar, put some weights on it. And I was like, well, normally I'd like to squat like what, 60 kilos? So I was like, I'll put like 20 on because that's light reps. And then there's like Grandma Jean next to me, absolutely smashing it. Should we beep it out? And grandma Jean, she's next to me, just absolutely flying through it with little 2.5 donuts on each side.

Absolutely. Nay chance Grandma Jean would ever Do.

She's just an example. It wasn't actually.

Grandma Jane went to see Grandma Jean the other day.

She good?

She's looking so well. Good, yeah. So healthy.

Good.

With a boyfriend.

Kiefer.

Keatley.

Keatley. I always think of Kiefer Sutherland when you talk about Keatley, and I think that's why I've just called him Kiefer.

No, they were having pie and peas for that lunch. Nice. Yeah. One more thing. Sophie Molyneux.

Oh, of course. Yeah.

Now, on last week's episode, we were just like, well, obviously it's going to be Ash.

Gardener. Oh, she got cramped.

Oh.

Just remember a minute ago when you slagged me off for having cramp.

I wouldn't have gone off the field for that. It was just a little twinge. But Sophie Molyneux don't get cramped. Proper athlete.

Yeah, that's true.

I'm surprised by it, I can't lie. I'm not saying she's a bad captain.

No. Neither has she captained. She done anything with sixers? Probably not.

She plays with Renegades.

Renegade. She done anything with them? I'm so across it.

I'm very surprised by it. I just presumed it would be Ash Gardiner.

I think the surprise comes from Soph has been quite heavily injured recently. When she's had an injury, it's been a bad one and kept her out for a while, hasn't it? So there was big talk about whether she'd make the World cup, and she did. I. I think she'd be a great captain, actually, it is pure guesswork because I've not worked with her as a captain, but great character.

She is a great character.

Very good character.

I really like her. She's captain the Renegades for four years.

Would it surprise you if she did? Go ahead. Having been not part of, like, probably any of the senior leadership side. Like, we were talking about Talia McGraby and Vice.

Yeah.

For them to then step away from that completely and go in a different direction.

Well, now I could. Only if the rumors are true, like, so, for Molyneux to captain all three formats, by the way, as well. So she. She's got to keep herself fit. So if you're captain all three formats, then surely Ash Garden is going to be Vice.

Yeah. This is just reminding me that if, say, if Nat was to step down in the next year or two, it's probably a similar conversation that we'd be going, oh, I'm surprised that the rumors are that it could be Alice Capsie or Charlie Dean. Or, well, less so, Charlie, because she has vice, but I guess when you've not got. When it's not your vice captain, you are going to be surprised by who it might be.

Yeah, I think she did a brilliant job, though.

Yeah. Oh, we've got some emails.

We've got. Look at this, Producer Jack is on it.

Can I talk about a nick I've just recently developed?

Of course you can.

So, producer Jack, we've just.

Tell you what, come on, camera, show people what you look like. All in. All in your blue, next to crossing.

Pop him.

Oh, you pop it. He's coming on.

He's got a mic. He's in.

Hello, welcome to the podcast.

Thank you very much. Don't look so nervous. Well, I know what you're about to say. You do know what I'm about to say. So I've developed a nick with you.

And it's not your mustache.

Should be. So producer Jack was like, oh, one minute, let me just get my MacBook. It's a laptop, mate. I mean, I did say Mac, not MacBook. In my defence, you're like, if you.

Got any emails, yeah, I'm gonna get them up on my Mac.

That, to me, is a laptop. It is, but what is it, Crossy? The brand of it is Apple. It's a Mac. Yeah, but that's just a laptop in my head. But I wouldn't say, let me give you my Apple.

But no, it is a laptop.

But that laptop. But it is also a Mac. Yeah, but you're just showing off that you've got money and you've paid for an extravagant piece of equipment.

Yeah, and he's got two laptops. Why he has to differentiate two Macs? No, no, zero percent finance.

Thank you very much. Nice. Anyway, look how old school we're going here.

But anyway.

Right, I'm just gonna go old school on the Mac. What are your thoughts about Harleen Dior being retired on 47 from 36 balls? I loved her response in the next match, but felt it was strange to bring in the players so well set.

Do you know what that we've seen?

It's from Mike.

Cheers, Mike. We've seen so many people be retired over the last.

Like, it's becoming a trend, isn't it?

Three months in men's and more so women's cricket. Now, Harleen was striking it pretty well.

Then she just slowed down, so it made sense as to why. But it was a pitch that was hard to get in on. And then there was like three overs left, but they did send Chloe Tryon in, so I got it.

But then she failed.

She failed.

It's always a risk when you retire someone that whoever you're bringing in is under pressure to hit their first ball for a boundary.

It's like when the captain wins a toss and you bowl first and you're like, oh God, wickets.

Yeah. Always flat. Yeah, I like it. I like retiring people. I think it should be done more.

Someone said very smartly in that moment, measure the coach on the process, not the outcome there. So the outcome obviously wasn't good because Chloe didn't score runs, but actually he was trying to move the game ahead. So good on him. Sorry. Back to the Mac. Hi Kate and Alex. Love the pod. Sorry about the backlash with Alex's comments. It was such a pleasant surprise to hear Kate in the which which which comments.

I get backlash for all of them.

I imagine this might be about period K heavy flow. It was such a lovely as pleasant surprise to okay in the WPL commentary box though. Loved all her terrific bowling analysis on that. Always thinks com boxes are a bit batter heavy. So thanks for balancing that out. Looking forward to any and all of your new episodes.

Lovely. The trauma of Period Gate is that I haven't had a period since because I had two in like a week because it was just traumatic.

Probably need to do a little test then. Yep. Hi Alex and Kate. I always love your podcast, but I especially enjoyed the episode Madness in Melbourne and Menstrual Moans. It should be so obvious and normal for a woman to talk about her period, but the fact that it still isn't. Do you know what the thing with a Mac is? It. It's a big screen.

I'm reading elongated.

I'm really reading along because you pay for the screen. It's like it's bigger than my TV though. But the fact that it still isn't. It's hard to go to the next line.

She's going like that.

I'm like seasick. It makes it so important that high profile women such as your good selves continue to showcase the issue. I'm sickened.

It's not an issue.

I'm sickened by the constant bile that you and others receive. But loved hearing you speak and was also delighted with Crossie's mic drop put down. Do you know how this works? You're literally a fertilized egg. Did I say that?

Must have done. Must have done one on the abuse.

That's good from me. That's a good one.

Like a bit of self appreciation. My poor Mum's come off Twitter because of all the stick that I was getting.

She's too busy.

She said tired.

She's got no time.

She's ringing you at 4am she said that she. She would have ended up knocking on people's doors.

Do you know what? That's what people should think. If you. You want to shout at someone on social media, imagine if you got them turn up to your door.

You've seen the party power advert. That's what they do on it and it's fantastic. It's so good.

I didn't quite finish this, which I will most certainly use if I get the opportunity. Huge thanks and kudos and keep up the great poding. That's from Chris.

Kudos. He must be a Strava of a man. Somebody that uses Strava calls him a Strava man. Somebody that doesn't call him a Strava.

You only just realized how to get rid of all your fans off there. Right, let's find a question.

So this podcast is going downhill.

Here's one. Hi, Alex. And do you think it's going downhill?

I think the last two have been good.

I am sat here with a laptop on my. Sorry, a Mac on my lap. Is that why it's called a laptop? You put it on your lap?

Must be why. But no, because you put them on a desk. Yeah. Desktop.

Yeah. And a laptop. But you can just pop, pop it on your lap.

The desktop goes on the desk at work and your laptop goes on your lap.

Where'd your Mac go then?

Your Mac should go in the bin.

Yeah, in your Mac.

Your Mac goes with your rain jacket.

Are we even allowed to promote Apple at BBC? Other Macs are available if they're not.

Your MacBook Pro, the MacBook, the Nimbus 3000 or somewhere. I don't know.

Hi, Alex and I can't see me Max in the way. Hi, Alex and Kate. I'm sat here watching the wpl, having recently enjoyed the WBBL and starting to get team news from the upcoming hundred lot franchise chat. Each time I seem to be supporting a different group of players who. Who. Yeah, who then swap around for the next. Well, we don't choose to swap around. Let's just get that straight. Is this comment allegiance to players instead of teams?

Yeah, that's happened.

Mike. Is that same Mike? Busy Mike? Mike must be on his laptop.

I think it's becoming more and more popular that people support players, not teams.

I think you have to, don't you? Because like I said, it's not unless you get the option to be retained. Then you've got no say in where you go when you go into the auction or the draft.

Like you've got fans that followed you from Manchester to superchargers.

Yeah. Power.

She's quite famous. Would you class yourself as famous? No, I hate the word famous.

I think some. Because when people ask us if we get recognized, I think if you're at cricket and in a cricket in circle, then you do. Yeah, but I would not know. My friends think I'm famous, but I laugh.

My friends just call me Blue Tick.

Yeah, that's true. So do I, though. Hi, all. Had already had to squeeze Alex and Crossy into my fantasy dinner party lineup. Squeeze us in?

Do you mean squeeze us in? That's. Don't read that email.

But following the last episode, I'm gonna have to find a seat for Grace Harris too. Hope the Delo Llama's not gonna be too off. Cheers. Andy. Good question. Who's in your. Just put my laptop down.

Mac.

Who's in your top dinner party invitational guest list?

Right. My. Do I get three? Is that. Is that a dinner guest?

Can I have a bigger. How big is your dining table?

Well, I could actually have eight guests at mine.

You've got eight seats?

Yeah, I can't think of eight. I don't have eight friends. My dad. My dad actually said to me, when. When do you ever have eight people around? I was like, it's true. Once a year when I have a. Yeah, yeah.

The tms.

The TMS barbecue. They're my only friends.

So. Jonathan Agnew, Alistair Cook.

Jack Wood.

Jack Wood.

My dream. My dream dinner guest.

Ellio Droid. Henry. He was there. I came. Charlotte Swift. There you go.

There's my eight.

You're not. You've not got a seat, unfortunately. You're actually on the balcony.

I don't have one. You're gonna have to do yours first because I can't think.

Oh, I don't like this question.

I would have Sky Crew, Owen Morgan, Brian Henderson.

Yeah, nice. And then. Oh, I need to think about it.

Pressure.

I would have Adele.

Okay.

Because then I could double double her up for a bit of entertainment. Get the karaoke machine out and be like, fancy it. Yeah. So I've got me, Adele. Someone funny. Jim Carrey. I'd have Jim Carrey there. How many have I got? Eight.

No, you're not. We're not doing. It'll be here all day. Do four. Three. As in three and you.

So one more. Yeah. Joel Chim. Kerry. I'm never good at math. And someone sporty. Let's go. Oh, David Beckham. Let's get the goss.

Oh.

Let's find out what's going on there.

Okay, you have David, I'll have Brooklyn. James Corden.

Okay. I think James will probably get more out of Brooklyn.

I quite fancy James Corden as well. I know he's my. He's my. Hear me out. Have you got to hear me out?

Can I have cartoons?

I think it's sick and wrong, but yeah, all right.

I won't do that then.

No, you can. I want to know who your cartoon is. You hate to hear me out. I've got to be able to hear you out. Got to tell me what? Oh, he's quite hot.

He was hot. They drew him well.

Yeah. Would you go on his magic carpet?

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Would you not?

I wouldn't date a cartoon.

So you would. You've got no car at the minute. You'd be desperate for the magic carpet. Normal, proper. Hear me out. I'll have a think.

Surely there's someone you fancy, like, probably.

Shouldn'T a lot of people fancy.

Exactly.

Yeah.

But I like the only fancies. Hot people.

Yeah. I've got a very mundane type, haven't I?

Tall, dark, handsome, athletic.

Yeah.

If there's anyone out there, Valentine's Day is coming up. That special is be out on Valentine's Day.

It will. I'll. I'll think of a hear me out for next episode.

Okay.

A proper no, I don't want to rush it. Right. If you want to get in touch with us.

Oh, again they don't. So people don't. Yeah, we've got a Mac there. A Mac primed and ready for emails and none of you are even sending any content to it. So this week you don't get our email. Our social media handle is no balls.

Tcp.

That's all you're having cuz you aren't getting in touch with us. This podcast is pointless.

It's going downhill apparently.

See you.

See you next week. If you want to bother. Five lives for, let's get the show.

On the road on Rod Laver Arena.

Good morning, good evening from Melbourne.

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