View from the Boundary: Luke Kempner

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You're listening to the TMS Podcast from BBC Radio 5 Live. Right. Our guest from View from the Boundary. Been looking forward to this. Is a comedian, actor, impressionist. Uh, first came to prominence with his range of sporting impressions and a comedy show based on Downton Abbey. He's had his own ITV sketch show, he's featured on programs like Spitting Image, the cult comedy Murder in Successville. He's a great cricket fan who during lockdown recreated the 2005 Ashes with the voices of the TMS team, which I'm looking forward to hearing. But in recent years, he's fulfilled a lifetime ambition playing one of the musical theatre's most iconic roles in the West End and on a world tour. There we go, one of the great tunes from Les Misérables, The Master of the House, performed by Luke Kempner, and it's lovely to welcome you here.

Thank you very much.

What a great tune that is.

Oh, listen, you never get bored of the songs of Les Mis. They're just marvelous. And it was, yeah, it's wonderful to be in it. And I think I did it 1,500 times and I never got bored of the music, you know. So many great hits.

You seem a bit young for that role.

Well, you know what, Agus, I'm the youngest ever to have played Thénardier, at the tender age of 34. Um, but you know, but I did it for about 3 years And, uh, and yeah, it was, it was absolutely fantastic. But, you know, look, they gave me a bit of gray in the beard. Yes, a bit longer hair. And of course, I'm a wonderful actor, so I could pull it off.

You know, he's quite a character. Does he only appear in the second half?

No, no, no. So he's in the first half. He's sort of— he's, he's got him and his wife, Madame Thenardier, right? They sing, and then they sing Master of the House, where he's sort of stolen Cosette the child, of course, which Valjean comes to buy off him. And it was, of course, it was Sacha Baron Cohen in the movie. And then in the second half he comes back because he's in the sewers and he witnesses some things in the sewers. I don't know why I'm not giving spoilers. It's been on for 40 years. You haven't seen it now?

No, it's a fantastic— well, more of that in a sec. But no, tell us about the world tour actually, because that— was it Delhi and China?

Yes, so we went— I was in Japan.

I mean, you sing in English, presumably?

Yes, yes.

Breaking to Mandarin?

Yeah, they have subtitles though. They do have subtitles in China. So yeah, I did it in Japan and China and then finished off— I was in Dublin in front of 7,000 people. Which was just incredible. But what was great was when we were in China, it was over the, uh, the Winter Ashes series, right? So what was marvelous, it was actually at the correct time zone. And at one point I was, uh, feeding information to some of the ensemble who are cricket fans, uh, so my friends Geddy Stringer and Michael Bergin, who are both in the cast. And I would— I had to sort of walk along this big bridge, but I didn't realize my mic was on. So I was about to go on stage and I sort of walk and I went, 'England lost another wicket,' and it came booming out. I don't think the Chinese understood what I was thinking.

It wasn't Yeah, I'm not sure watching would have put you in a great, great mood.

No, no, it didn't. But you know, it lay miserable, and you know, the cricket didn't make me less miserable, to be honest with you.

How is it? I mean, it's been a funny old morning, hasn't it? Here we've been studying it closely.

Absolutely. Well, I was in a recording studio all day yesterday, and, um, I was with Rufus Jones and Phil Dunster, and we had it on, so we were sort of following it all. We're feeling very, very positive by the end of the day. But then, uh, yeah, today I was not expecting that. No, but the pitch seems to have sort of, you know, sort of been up and down bounce. Is that how you would say?

Definitely. And the last half hour, it's been doing one or two strange things.

Yeah.

Why is it the comedians like cricket? I was saying to you earlier, I think if you chose the professions that most likely to come on here for this slot, they're comedians actually. I wonder, really gone through so, so many. I don't know what it is that attracts it.

I wonder if it's because Test cricket especially, you can sort of sit there and chat and make each other laugh, and maybe that's quite suited to the comedian really. But you're right, I mean, there's so many of my comedian friends, you know, sort of Tom Rosenthal and, you know, and Rory Bremner. It is. And Andy Zaltzman. Oh yes, sorry, Andy's— I must mention he's my friend as well. So Andy Zaltzman, yeah, no, yeah, all huge cricket fans. It's glorious.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, now I have— I did out, um, one of your dismissals because it's unwise, um, Luke, to really send too much detail in the notes that you have done. Um, and so to confess on these notes, okay, that you were once a victim stumped off the bowling of Alex Hartley.

Yes.

I just don't think you should have gone there.

No, no. Okay, Aggers, right. I heard this. I had the earpiece in and I heard Alex Hartley going, yeah, yeah, I got him out. Yeah, I bowled him out. Yeah, great ball. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Hartley! Because she's made the mistake of posting the footage, right? Now, it was a stumping, as you correctly said, by Harry Judd.

I'm not sure about the legality of the stuff.

That's the thing. Back to that, I've— now, should I have danced down the wicket first ball to Alex Hartley?

Well, it's tempting.

Probably not.

You knew it was going to be pretty slow.

I don't know, I saw there was a, there was a lot of flight to it, and I thought, I can get to that. I couldn't, uh, and it went straight through me to Harry Judd, who whipped the bails off. Very disappointed. I didn't know. But then when Alex Hartley posted the footage on our social media later that day, I did. Yes, I slowed it down and watched it on the ground. It's not— it's not connected.

Oh, the ball's on the ground.

So I— and he knows. You can see in Harry Judd's face, he looks disappointed.

I've had a text from him because I said, look, I'm not sure about this. I said, I'm just— I'm just about to interview somebody who—

this is exciting.

Well, the inglorious— the embarrassment, I think I might have said, of actually being stumped. Judd, boldheartedly.

Yeah, yeah.

And he knew who it was, did he? And he said it should have been referred.

I could still be there now.

It could be 450 knots out.

I should have— I should be there. And I knew— well, I didn't know at the time, but I did know it when I got home and sent it to about 17,000 people to say that I was wrongly dismissed.

He didn't call you back, did he?

No.

And Alex didn't say no, no, no, that's—

I blame Judd in all of this because I think you can see it in his face when you watch the video. He sort of go— there's a side eye of, yeah, got away with that one.

I think so. And the tone of that message Really? I think left it very clear.

I think you were robbed. He's been thinking about that for a year, and good, to be honest with you, good for him. Good for him, he can admit it now.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, if it's— yeah, if it's been eating away at him, the guilt.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, I definitely replayed it in my head, but most of the times I replayed it in my head, I didn't go down the wicket. I stayed and waited.

It was quite an ugly shot, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was.

I mean, you're trying to hit Hartley for 6, which is fair enough. Is that— is that sort of level of cricket that you tend to— tend to play, or—

Listen, I played from the age of 14 to 20. My friends Phil and Alex, they got me involved when They were marvelous players. My friend Phil was a fantastic player, and we played at Hawley Cricket Club from the age of 14 to 20. I mean, they were there from the age of 2, I think, and it was brilliant. I made all my best friends there, and it was marvelous. And I really wanted to be Shane Warne, so I decided I wanted to bowl leg spin, which they told me, you know, this is the hardest type of bowling to bowl. And I was like, nah, nah, I can do it. So I really, really tried and had a couple of days where I bowled well. I got 4 for 35 one day. Did you?

Yeah, that's brilliant.

And I once got a— it was a New Zealand youth player out, I mean on the boundary, you know, he hoofed me to the boundary.

What, a child?

No, no, yeah, he's a 5-year-old, but you know, the short boundary, it was a Colts game. Uh, no, I think, I think he must have been sort of, you know, 17, 18. Okay, yeah. Um, and then I was on a hat-trick the next ball. I tell you, it was, it was ball of the century stuff.

Yeah.

And then I, I don't know, yep. From, uh, 4 years on after that.

Oh, that's a shame though.

Then I opened the batting for a while. Yeah, because Phil, my friend Phil, said to me, he said, look, I'm going to open with you, he said, but he said, because you can block quite well, and he said, and every ball you face is a bonus, right? And that day I got 23 off 64 balls, right? And, uh, to this day we still talk about that famous Kempton innings.

Yeah, was it— what sort of length match was it? Was it a quick 10 overs?

No, no, no, I think it was a 30-over.

Oh, that's all right then.

During cricket, youth cricket week. Yeah, and I won Most Improved Player that year.

Wow.

So, you know, 2004, your career was on there. Oh, I mean, and now here I am in the TMS box. So finally, you know, it's been recognized, my ability.

Um, but are you a Test cricket man, or you kind of bring all, all, all comers?

Huge Test cricket man, right? And to be honest with you, like, my nan introduced me into Test cricket. My nan, who I lost this year in February, wonderful woman.

She sounds an ex— I've read your notes, your copious notes, but she sounds an extraordinary lady.

She is an extraordinary lady. She was one of the first recognized women to get a degree from Cambridge in fine art. She played cricket for Cambridge, the women's team, and she introduced me to TMS. And because she'd seen the great Don Bradman play, and she'd always used to go down to Derbyshire and sketch the players and things like that. And she introduced me to TMS, and actually you know, that was the reason I got into cricket in the first place. But she hated any other version of the game other than Test cricket or county cricket. So yeah, it's always been Test match cricket.

But since then, there'd only been, I guess, what, 50 overs as an alternative, was there really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did she actually sort of sit you down? Yeah. And say, right, Luke, this is— I'm just gonna put this radio on now, settle back. Was it sort of like that?

It was. I can remember the chair. She'd always lived in the same house my entire life, and I remember her putting the radio on And she actually complained to TMS when it changed to digital. And someone very kindly wrote back to her and said, "Yeah, sorry, but that is what it is." But I got her a digital radio. But she first introduced me to blowers, to Henry Blofeld. And I always used to do this impression of Henry Blofeld because it was such a marvelous voice, so different to mine. And what I really enjoyed about him is he would explain absolutely nothing that was going on in the game. It would be mainly buses and gasometers from the Oval. Thoroughly enjoy it whenever I would do this voice. So it was one of the first impressions I did, and of course it was TMS, so it was marvelous.

It's very good.

Thank you. Yes, having listened to you later, everyone, thank you very much.

I had Henry in my headphones for many years, and you're right about the description. I mean, I do add on, you can use this line if you like, okay, um, that, you know, he brought the game of cricket to life, didn't he? Like, like, like no one else, really. Um, it wasn't always the same game the rest of us are watching. He brought it to life.

But it was just marvelous because it was such a unique voice. And I think, you know, as a kid listening to it, I was always a big radio fan and still am. You know, I would always, you know, even if I'm watching on telly, I'll try and like sync up the radio so I can listen to CMS and watch the cricket. But yes, he was— he would always explain, you know, everything that was going on, and you did feel like you were sort of there with him. And yes, I mean, you might not know the score, but you certainly know what was going on around the ground.

Oh no, that's—

that's—

that— I suppose you'd have been— you'd have been after Brian Johnson, I suppose. Yes, another obvious voice.

But my nan told me sort of all about these characters, and she would— she would give me names.

That was a Rory Bremner impersonation.

Oh really?

Oh yes, yes. Rory would pop in in my early days, uh, and he'd be able to do— yes, he'd do Henry, and he would do— he would do Brian Johnston, and Richie, of course. Richie.

Yeah, I know Richie Benner, of course. You know, well, last night, you know, we actually got to 222 for 2 off 2, you know. And we do of course miss the great Richie Benaud, and it would have been one of the first ones that I watched during that 2005 Ashes series, which would have been on the television at that point for me, Channel 4 of course. And, uh, no, absolutely delighted with Richie Benaud. But what I did— I used to love— there was a brilliant series called The Twelfth Man. Yes, I had CDs. I can't remember—

Billy Birmingham.

Billy Birmingham. And he would do this great—

I would love to do it these days.

All right. Yes, there were some, some troubling, uh, things that he said. But I would love to bring back that series. But you know, you'd have Henry Blofeld there in the morning, you know, a very good morning, marvelous. And you know, and I think, you know, you'd always have yourself in there as well, Aggers.

And I don't know, well, if, if you can impersonate me, okay, Luke, then you, uh, you have beaten Rory, okay? Because he, he, he can't do it. And I'm gonna— I'm just gonna go—

let's—

before you, you have a go—

oh God, this is tense in front of Aggers.

What do you look for for a You know, when you are going to do somebody, okay, what are you looking for? Because I mean, I've got a very dull voice. No, there's no— but there's no mannerism. Well, I don't think there is. Perhaps there is, okay, but there doesn't seem to be any, you know. I mean, Henry's got an obvious style. Yes, all of these people have got mannerisms. Yes, that I just don't— I think my— I think my voice is a bit too kind of—

no, you're doing yourself a disservice there, I guess, you know, because I say, okay, so the first time I remember hearing your voice, it was when I was playing a marvelous game. It was Brian Lara Cricket in 1999, and of course you were the commentator.

3 days I spent in the studio.

It was absolutely marvelous. But what we used to— I used to play the game, and if you hit a boundary, you know, for a six, you would always say the same thing, and you would always say it was, it was absolutely fantastic. And you would say the same thing. We used to do this, me and my friends, and you would say, "Caught by the person in row M." And I've always said this, and it was the way you said, "Caught by the person in row M," and that little row laugh on there. But of course, in those days, you probably didn't have many variations.

No.

So that would come out quite a lot. But there was one other one, because I was quite rubbish at the game. My friend Alex would beat me constantly. And I remember playing it, and I would always hit it up in the air, and he'd go, "In the air and caught!" But there was one time where it went in the air and he went, "And safe!" And I was like, "Ah!" And he went, "And out!" And I was like, "Ah, no!" So I got fooled by it. So you haunted me from 1999.

I think it was Alan Butcher's grandchildren on tour somewhere came running up to me at the airport. I didn't know they were his children, actually, or grandchildren. Okay, they're running up. Um, please, Jonathan, would you just say— do you just say something? I said, what? Would you please say, and there it goes, bounces once, twice, and over the boundary?

Oh, lovely!

So I said, well, yes, bounces once, twice, and they ran off punching the air.

Yes, yes!

Oh, for days I sat in that. You arrive in the morning.

Yes.

And there was like a— this paper about 2 feet high.

Right, okay. Scripts of these stock phrases, scripts.

Oh, and names because you had to go, Kempner, Kempner.

I love it. Oh, this is glorious.

Every possible— oh, and then somebody— it was early days and somehow it's very clever. Yes, they managed to stitch it together. But you haven't actually done a proper impersonation yet though.

Well, no, that— I mean, that's sort of it really, you know.

Is that it?

Caught by the person in row M. So that's all I can say, I guess. I'm sure the listeners will be enjoying it at home and I'm sure they'll be writing in saying how marvelous it was.

I look at my— I really say, um, anyway, um, so 2005. Yes, that was— was that the series for you then?

Yes, that was. I mean, I, I did watch some series going up to that, uh, but that 2005 series, you know, where it just— the whole town. I went to see the parade and it was just—

oh, did you?

You were there?

Yeah, it was.

What a day that was.

Oh my word, I was in Trafalgar Square with my friends and it was, you know, just— it It was when cricket transcended across, you know, other people who didn't even like cricket suddenly were into cricket. And, you know, we were watching Freddie Flintoff stumbling on, and you were just— it was just everything about it. And the summer, and it was, oh, it was marvelous. I will watch that series forevermore, you know. It's just great.

I interviewed Freddie that day. It was, um, it was one of those troubles while it was live. I'd think if it had been recorded, it probably wouldn't have ever gone out on air.

Okay.

We got on the bus.

Oh really?

Yeah, I was on the bus and my mic was connected like radio-wise to a helicopter, and so occasionally we'd lose the signal, right? Okay, I'll be off. Anyway, the media chap said, 'Agus, you can interview whoever you want, right, on our way to Trafalgar Square, but you're not interviewing Andrew Flintoff.' That's his man of the series. Yeah, I hadn't seen him at this stage.

Okay, okay. Did you have the glasses on?

Well, it was rather like, you know, when somebody gets, gets bundled into court.

Yeah, it did look like—

yeah, he was all bundled onto the bus. Okay, some people, security people, and he couldn't really— in a blanket probably. Yeah, I couldn't really see it. And then you saw him and thought, oh, okay. But you can't not interview a man of this. Oh my word, I know. But it was just somehow the atmosphere and being on that bus when it, when it— well, yeah, turned into Trafalgar Square. It was a beautiful sunny day.

Oh, it was phenomenal.

And cricket was just ready to go then, wasn't it?

I know.

It was just ready to go. It was just on a kind of a launch pad. It did so much, so much for cricket.

It did, and it frustrates me sort of to this day, you know, when I hear anyone talk about Test cricket, you know, dying or anything like that. Because then, you know, I turned up today and I have friends of mine that aren't into cricket, and I just think, God, if you could just come and just witness a day where you get to sit and have a lovely chat with your friends, but then you get to watch the again, you see the skill, you see how fast it is in real life, and just, you know, the toiling. And what's great about— and people say, oh, so long, it's so long. I'm like, I know, but that's the tension that it builds. No other sport can do it.

Look what's happened today. Completely unexpected this today.

It can change in a heartbeat. And I just, I love it. You know, there's a picture my wife's got of me of, uh— it's all right. There's a picture my wife's got of me, and I am in a hot tub, but I—

oh dear.

No, it's right, I've got swimming trunks on. Right, and, but I'm sitting in a hot tub, but I'm listening to TMS. And we were on holiday in, uh, in Italy, and, and my wife just took this picture of me, and I'm just listening to that, and she's like, oh, I got this picture for you because this is your happy place. And it, and it really is, honestly, lying back listening to TMS, if England are doing well or not. It's just that it's just such a beautiful soundtrack in the background. This is the TMS Podcast from BBC Radio 5 Live.

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So tell me about then, in lockdown—

Yes.

You recreated that series. Yes, with our commentary.

Yes, so basically I would start— I had this game Cricket 19, uh, which is a game on the PlayStation, and then basically people could subscribe to watch me playing it whilst commentating. So they would subscribe in, and then— and I called it Twitch Match Special, right? So this— and you can't get me legality because I don't do it anymore. Um, so, but basically I would always, I would always open with Jerusalem, me singing Jerusalem. Islam, right? And then, and it was a recreated 2005 Ashes series. I always start with Aggers and, you know, obviously bring in Geoffrey Boyer. Well, it's very nice to be here, it's a wonderful day. And, and I don't like Luke doing— impressing me because he's too modern. He'd be like my Auntie Annie being on TikTok. He's not right. So I just want to do that. And then, and then half an hour in, always at the changeover, I would, uh, I would bring in Jim Maxwell, you know, would of course would always go straight to the shipping forecast. We would always enjoy that side of it. And then sometimes I bring in Jeremy Coney. Now of course he wouldn't be right for the Ashes, but he would always have that great intensity. And it's a very niche impression that you probably wouldn't hear very many times. But yes, it is one that I do.

That might be the best so far.

I've got to be honest, listen, I have never had a chance to do my Jeremy Coney impression. And when I text my mate saying, you're not going to believe this, they've asked me to do View from the Boundary, they're like, you've I think that's the best.

Oh, well, thank you very much. That lingering breath at the end.

It's very nice. And I had to do him once when I was playing a sheep. I was on Spitting Image. We were doing a sketch about Jacinda Ardern, and they said, Luke, you've got to play a sheep. Yes, she was the Prime Minister, and I think it was called Super Socialistic Jacinda I'm Atrocious or something. And they said to me, said, Luke, you've got to play a sheep. Can you do a New Zealand accent? And I said, well, look, I can do Jeremy Coney. And they said, who? And I said, well, you'll have to hear it. And listen, it's on there to this day.

So the New Zealand prime minister has actually got a man's—

No, no.

She's Jeremy Coney.

No, no. She was played by Jess Robinson. She was. But I was one of the sheep that was sort of around Jacinda going, ah, Jacinda, our turn. It's me, Jeremy. So yeah. I mean, I doubt that's— I think I'm probably the only person to have that in the locker, maybe. I don't know.

Were you an absolute pain at school? I'm asking that because— Am I?

You're finding me a pain, aren't you?

No, not yet. Okay. If I was a teacher, I probably would, because I was at school with a chap called Robbie Robottom. Okay.

Uh, he sounds like a naughty one.

It was a naughty one. Yeah. Who was brilliant at impersonating the teachers.

Yes.

Uh, which he would do regularly, and they, you know, yeah, they were— they got fed up with it in the end. I mean, I can see you being the same somehow.

Yes, there might be some of that that's true. I mean, I did have a teacher called Miss West who was the science teacher, you know. She used to speak like this, right? And I would do impressions of her at the back of the class. And at one time she shouted, said, 'Ah, Luke, I don't like being mimicked!' And got sent out. I used to get sent out, but the thing is, the teachers did used to find me a little bit funny. So as even my parents get brought in Yes. And they would say, look, Luke, the trouble is he's disturbing the other people. But, you know, I used to make people laugh. I was bringing morale, you know. And then I've ended up doing that job that I was sent out for. So it turns out, you know, that I was doing the right thing.

Yeah. So it's just something that you could do. Yeah. Because it's, it's a, it's a very niche area, isn't it, impersonations? And, and difficult. And confidence. I mean, I'm thinking of something, you know, the impressionists that we've known over the years who perhaps have lost their, you know, lost that confidence a bit?

Yes, it's a funny one. You know, there's obviously ones that you find that you enjoy doing more than others. I mean, I remember when I first did Andy Murray, and, uh, and I remember just, you know, listening to him, and he was obviously like a similar age to me. And I remember just doing this voice to my friends, and they were like, you've got to put this like on YouTube or something like that. I said, I, I don't like the internet. And so, you know, and eventually then I started putting putting these videos online. And that's when I did my Downton Abbey impressions. And everyone from Mr. Carson— it was Jim Carter, who's a big cricket fan.

He is. Had him the other day.

Yeah. Oh dear.

Marvelous. And, uh, you know, and, and it was sort of do all these impressions. And I, I put them on YouTube and Stephen Fry tweeted about it, right? And said, uh, splendid display of Downtonry. And, uh, and that kind of got me going really, because that was when, when Stephen Fry was like Mr. Twitter.

Yeah.

And, uh, and my phone just exploded and I went from being a musical theater boy to doing comedy and impressions, and, uh, some people paying me for it. So, you know, it's good.

How do you, how do you judge that it's— it— you've got it right, or that you— it needs work? Or, yeah, because people, you know, people get polite and say, oh, that's awfully good.

Yes. Uh, and actually, is that what you've been doing?

Who was that? Who was that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, have you got some very honest friends, or are you very you know, do— are you very hard on yourself? And you listen back, actually, I've got to work on that. I mean, how do you do it?

I think, you know, I think you know when you've not quite got it yet, you know. But the thing is, you know, that when I do them sort of in front of audiences, or, you know, because I'll go out to, you know, try stand-up and try impressions within that stand-up, you know. And I'm, you know, if I'm trying like an Alan Carr and it's sort of there, it's— I don't know if it's quite— and then I go, oh no, I know, if I can add a little bit of something, you know, maybe add his laugh you know, you know, and then you found these things. And if I know, if I can freestyle it, you know, I could sit here for half an hour and talk like him and it would be fine, you know. And it's sort of the same with someone like Michael McIntyre, you know. We were sort of talking about, you know, he's a big cricket fan, of course, you know. And you know as soon as you hear that little bit of gruff in there, and I know that I can do that. We like that, don't we? We enjoy that, don't we? And you find those little phrases, and, and that's, that's when you know you're sort of there in the voice.

So you need the phrase, you need something.

It is a bit caught by the person. Roam, you know, it's, it's once you found it, you know, you can keep repeating that phrase. And, and, you know, with Andy Murray, you know, I knew that I was fine, that music, and I was on it, you know.

Yeah.

And so you, you, you do listen back to yourself, you are?

Yeah.

And, and do you try out on other, on friends, colleagues?

Yes. Well, I mean, I sort of like, it's more, I will, because my poor wife doesn't need to hear me doing No, Donald Trump.

How do you practice? You go upstairs into a room like someone playing an instrument and you go and do it?

Honestly, it is. I've got an office and I sort of walk around my office and there's some days when I'm talking like Billy Connolly and my wife's saying, "What's that in there?" You know, and she's just hearing me try these new voices out, and especially when, you know, like when Donald Trump came on the scene, you know, I knew that I had to get him. Don't worry, I'm not going to say anything inappropriate, but I knew that I had to find him. I knew I had to find my version of him, and isn't it great? It's wonderful, you know, find these things. And it's just, I had to just— what's great is actually even headphones like this, that where you can hear yourself back a little bit, it really helps because you're sort of checking yourself all the time. Yes. Um, so, and it's always just things that I've listened to constantly, you know. That's why things like TMS or snooker commentary, things like that, you know, you sort of, you, you just sort of learn the sound.

Yes. Uh, I'll tell them up to hang on, let's go, let's go, let's get some headphones up. So you do quick fire as well? That's— and that must be That's challenging, isn't it, to go from voice to voice to voice to voice to voice to voice?

Yes, I suppose it is, but I sort of, I really enjoy the, the, the, you know, the idea that you can go in between them. You know, you certainly do it on someone like Boris, you know, but I'm always thinking ahead, you know, and I, I will be thinking, you know, where am I going to go next? And then I know that I'm going to go, you know, straight to someone like, you know, like Lewis, or I'm going to go to Aggers, or I'm going to, you know, Michael Vaughn even, you know. So I know where I'm going, you know.

What about this one?

Ah, yeah, this is a bit of pressure.

I think, I think that of all the many impersonations had so far, Jeremy, I, I think Luke's impersonation of you was, was the best.

I don't know how to talk now.

Yeah, really?

I can't tell you, I can't tell you how much I'm sweating, Jeremy, but it is so nice to see you. It's a huge honor to meet you, of course. And I suspect you'll be thinking this doesn't sound anything like you, but the laughs would argue maybe a brother. Yeah, yeah, slightly less attractive brother, I'll take that. Nice to meet you.

Tell him what role you played as Jeremy Coney.

Well, I was doing a show called Spitting Image, which is a show where we would do impressions, and, uh, and I was— we were doing a sketch about Jacinda Ardern, and they said we needed a sheep from New Zealand, and you thought of me, and I said I could—

what?

I thought I could do Jeremy Coney's voice. So there you are, forever.

You've been a sheep on Spitnibbage.

I feel like I made it at last.

Yeah, but did you have to listen for ages? Gem, you can go again.

Yeah, okay.

If I think— I'm not sure which one's going to go, but that, that was good though, wasn't it? Very good.

Oh, thank you, Jeremy. I feel like I'm in an absolute fever dream here. Pleasure to meet you, my man.

Wow, that, that is the— that is the litmus test. How did you get the idea? I mean, that Downton show.

Yes.

How did you get the— it's, it's just such a brilliant concept and mad, obviously. Yeah, there's, there's, there's all the Downton Castle. It's Downton Abbey, but there's a problem because it's— we always know that Downton Abbey is always skint, isn't it? There's always issues going on there. So what are they going to do? Well, they're going to go on reality shows. X Factor, Strictly.

Yeah. How do you—

what sort of mind comes up with—

with— it's worrying. It is worrying, really, I guess. But I think the thing is, you know, even like the last show I did, which was called Gritty Police Drama, the one-man musical, and that, you know, and it was all, you know, it had, you know, Ted Hirstings liked the battle. But I thought, you know, why I pick on things that I feel like we all love. So like the gritty police drama, we all love it. But if I can put that in a mad place, so it's like, you know, you can have Ted Hirstings, but also you can have D.I. Louis Theroux. And then you've got Louis Theroux going, you know, shall I— is this weird? Is this weird to ask if this is weird? Am I okay? Is this okay? I'm not okay. And, but you're putting him suddenly, he's, he's a detective, and then, and it's putting him in those situations that I find so amusing. Or them going on to Clarkson's farm and then finding out if they're sort of doing any illegal activity and things like that. And it's, it's, I just love our most favorite people, and I'm always celebrating them, you know. I hope that that sort of comes across, is that, you know, all impressions I do, I have to find something I enjoy about it. Even with Donald Trump, you you know, you're finding something you enjoy and then putting them into a mad situation, which I find amusing. Yeah.

So are you a singer? Are you an impressionist? Are you a comedian? I mean, you know, you've got so many strings to your bow.

I think the main thing we've established is I'm not a cricketer.

Well, um, there's evidence that would support that.

There's evidence of that. But I, but also, but I, I would— I think the thing is, is I, I spent some time going, should I be doing more musical should I be doing, should I be doing this? And I thought, you know what, just do all the things that you enjoy doing. I love being silly, I love making people laugh, I love singing, I love acting and showing off in general. But, you know, I just, it's sort of kind of wherever the work is really, you know. So like, I would, I sort of don't pigeonhole myself.

No.

And was there a break? I mean, was there a, that, like, I know with Downton obviously you had Stephen Fry, but to go from being the, the wag at school at the back of the class to actually doing it professionally. Yeah, that's quite a big leap, isn't it? So how did that happen?

I think getting, you know, getting into Les Mis was the big sort of break, you know, because that happened to me and I sort of was about 20. And then when I got into that, you played that part. I played Marius when I was— Oh, Marius? Yes.

Oh right, Michael Ball.

Empty chairs and empty tables. Yes. Uh, you know, I don't know if that's ever been sung on View from the Boundary. Um, I don't think it has. But so that—

he's the good-looking chap who goes around.

Yes, yes. So, and I think I'm the first to ever go from playing Marius to playing Thénardier, even if it was sort of 18 years apart. Um, and yeah, so, you know, I started that, and that was kind of my big break. And then from then on, sort of having the confidence to get out there, and then I just started writing these impressions and, and writing that Downton Abbey show, which then toured around the world. And I've always— I mean, I don't know how you feel, but like, I always feel like it's a series of different breaks that, you know, that get you to doing lots different things. And now, you know, I might look in 3 weeks' time, I've got nothing on that week, and then suddenly a phone call would be someone you spoke, you know, worked with 7 years ago, do you want to be in this project and stuff. So I feel like you sort of, you have a series of breaks that gets you, gets you to working constantly.

And stand-up?

Yes.

And your sister?

Yes, she is.

Yeah. I mean, what, what, your, your parents, are they, are they, are they bonkers?

I don't know if that, you know, if brother and sister both stand-up comedians having to entertain each other, I think, is all the time. My mum's a horse riding instructor, so I don't know where that came from. But yeah, me and my sister Sue's camp, no, you know, she's a stand-up as well. We just, we just were fascinated with comedy, you know. We watched, you know, the Marx Brothers from an early age and Blackadder and Python. And my sister would show me, because my sister's 3 years older than me, so she would always show me stuff that she'd been watching. So I would always— and then things like The Office coming around, and it was just constantly surrounded by comedy and, and stand-up for me was when I first saw Alan Davis, who I know you, you had on here.

Yes, we have.

And he, you know, first time I saw him on video, and it was, you know, I was quite young, so it was a little bit naughty, but I just— he was an Arsenal fan, I'm an Arsenal fan, he sort of had that same sort of upbringing. I just, I, and I just fell in love with it. And, and I do, and I think being on stage and making people laugh is absolutely the golden ticket.

Yes. Have you ever had a bad experience?

Only the thousand I've I would say no. I was on View from the Boundary once. No, it was— no, I've had a few. I mean, often they're sort of corporatey sort of gigs where you're presenting, uh, you know, and you're, uh, it's like a footballer's do, and they go on, you know, and you've got to be on at half 11 at night, and then they go, it's 12 o'clock, you still like to go on? And everyone's talking. Yeah, that's, that's, that's, you know, they can be tough. But any, any gig that doesn't go well, you know, I always think there's chance to learn from it, you know. So like, it's, you know, there's been some stinkers, but that's okay if you can pick yourself up afterwards. Well, that's— I always remember Mark Steele, you know, who said—

he's been on as well.

And he always said to me, he said, if you can come back after you've had a bad gig, that's what makes you a comedian. And, and I think he's right, you know. If you can come back after a bad gig, you know, coming back after you've nailed it, easy, you know.

Any other shows that you want to do? I mean, there seems to be a fix excited on Les Mis.

Yeah, I know, I've done a lot. I've done things like Les Mis and South Pacific and Avenue Q, you know. But like, there's shows, you know, Oliver's on. I'd love to do Fagin one day, right? Um, you know, The Producers. I'd love to do something in The Producers. And Matilda, I'd love to play, um, Mrs. Trunchbull in Matilda and things like that. So there's lots of shows I'd love to do.

Yeah. And do you apply for these? I mean, yes. And then people come to you and say, how about coming to do that?

That sort of happens, you know. Certainly with Les Mis, they saw me on House of Games with Richard Osman, and I'd been talking about, showing off about Les Mis, and they said, they said, oh, you know, we'd like to, you know, come in and do you want to come in and play Tonardier? So I was like, yeah. But like, you know, yeah, you audition, and when the, when the roles become available and when I'm available, and yeah, and then you can make it work.

Well, Luke, it's been lovely having you on.

I've loved it.

Looking forward to this afternoon. What, what, have you got any thoughts of what's going to happen?

Well, I was, I was sort of hoping that we might see Ben Stokes do something very, very special today. But I feel like we might see Harry Brook go berserk towards the end of the day, and I think that would be pretty fascinating.

That would be good, because actually he's played really well today, hasn't he? Yeah. You know, I think one of the frustrations of the Ashes— goes back to your, your experience of watching that from China— was that he, he just kind of gave his wicket away too often. He's got so much talent.

Well, it's sort of that thing that Vaughan is saying, you know, less baz ball, more sensible ball, you know, and it's that patient ball. And I feel like we need to see that a bit more.

You can't help yourself, can you?

I can't.

I thought it's a Luke then.

No, you almost, almost, you know, actually I'm very sad. No, it's, you know, so I, I, even his first 2 or 3 balls today, you were saying, oh, okay, you know, he is taking it a little bit, you know, sensibly. But I'd quite like to see some big shots from him as well. And that's what's great about Test cricket, you see it all.

Yeah, they'll come. Luke, lovely to have you on.

Thank you so much.

I just messaged a little— there's a Michael Heel, let's say good afternoon everyone. I'm in the middle of sorting the house out, it's being painted. I've had TMS on. I've really enjoyed the piece with Luke at lunch. It made me smile because ironically my twin brother and I still play the old Brian Lara cricket game. Oh no, back at university, Agar's line from the game, McGrath steaming in, that was constantly shouted around our student house, and hearing all that again brought back some brilliant memories.

Oh, that's lovely.

Ro M. I forgot about Roem.

Can you get it in today? I'll be listening, that'd be great. And Harry Brooke does it.

I thought Harry Brooke could do it into that stand. Yes, Roem.

Someone's going to catch it, the pressure's on.

Luke, thanks for coming.

Thank you so much.

Love it. Thank you. A great entertainment. Thank you so much. Uh, Luke Kempner, uh, look out for him, well, all over the place. Five Live Sports.

My favorite World Cup moment? It's the first World Cup I properly remember watching. Argentina 78, the ticker tape, Mario Kempes, Harry Hahn scoring goals from miles out, and always one of my favorite World Cup moments, Archie Gemmell's great goal for Scotland against the Dutch. What makes the World Cup such a special tournament is the atmosphere, the color. It is a meeting of the nations and of people who love football.

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