
Ellen, a coach, explains why being too likable can undermine your authority at work. She covers the difference between likability and people-pleasing, how women can set boundaries without losing respect, and why constructive feedback matters for real leadership.
Confusing. Being likable with people pleasing is probably tanking your career and causing you tons of extra stress. I'm Ellen and I've spent the last decade coaching women on how to take up more space in their lives and careers to be likable. Don't be subservient. Always avoid making waves or even as a joke, put yourself down. Instead, be friendly, positive, helpful and supportive. This will naturally help others see you as a kind, strong leader rather than a pushover, which is not really what we're going for. For example, taking something off a struggling colleague's plate is really helpful. On the other hand, becoming the go to Coff person erodes your authority and distracts you from the task that you're actually meant to be doing. Additionally, being likable doesn't mean that you can't disagree. Sometimes giving politely worded, constructive feedback shows that you can bring great ideas to the table and positions you as a kind, strong leader in the eyes of those around you. So focus on being likable, not a people pleaser, and take up the space that you deserve.
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