Shelley Young says salespeople, especially women, should listen more than they talk to close deals. Use an 80/20 split where prospects speak 80% of the time, embrace silence, and let client success stories do the work instead of your own stories.
Hi guys. Welcome back to my channel. In this video today, I'm going to be discussing why I believe we should speak less in order to sell more. Women are natural nurturers. We want to help people, we want to connect with people. But oftentimes this can also mean we tend to massively over share when not needed, which can actually really hinder our results and lower our status. Sales is a status game. Sales is about being the leader. And we can only do this when we are in control of the conversation. When we are speaking less, listening more and guiding and leading with our questions. Like I always say, a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. And when we're over sharing and over talking, this can turn the sales call into a more convincing conversation. And like I've just said with that quote, we can't sell if we're trying to convince. The prospect has to be convinced by themselves. The prospect has to want to convince others, us. So if you find yourself over explaining and oversharing and consistently lowering your status and getting the I need to think about it objection and having no idea why, let me help you. The first thing we need to focus on is controlling the frame. When we speak less, we lead with presence. You'll find yourself not rushing to convince, but instead slowing down to qualify. To make sure that the prospect you are speaking to is actually the right fit and to make sure that you can actually help them. The way I like to think about this is using the 8020 rule. The prospect should be talking 80% of the time and you should be talking 20% of the time. If you're noticing that this becomes more unbalanced, sit back and be quiet. Let the prospect sell themselves to you. Let the prospect sell themselves to you by asking the right questions and then being quiet. This is going to be the best way to controlling the frame and leading the conversation. The next thing that I want you to do is stop trying to fill the awkward silence. I want you to embrace the silence and some point you will become very, very comfortable with the silence. Let the prospect fill the silence. Let the prospect over explain. Because it's natural human instinct to feel awkward in a silence. So if you don't break that, the prospect will. The prospect will do the talking. The prospect will do the oversharing, which is exactly what we need in order to close the deal. So if you're noticing that you really want to over share over talk, feel the silence because you feel a bit awkward, just sit back in your chair. Sit right back. Take a deep Breath and let the prospect do the work for you. You don't have to overwork yourselves in these conversations. Actually, that will lead you to more burnout. The less you do, the more impact you're going to have. Less is more. I want you to stop sharing too many personal stories. A big mistake I see a lot of closers make is they talk about themselves too much. They share too many personal stories because they believe that is how their prospect is going to trust them and feel connected to them. But in actual fact, you're just going to bore the prospect, you're going to lose traction and they're going to switch off. It is psychology that people love to talk about themselves, whether they know it or not, they do. So we need to get the prospect talking about themselves. We need to get the prospect opening up and the only way we can do that is get them talking, not us. Sharing too many personal stories is not going to build trust. It's just taking over the call and kind of opening up and getting the prospect to be your therapist. We do not want that. Personal stories can be good every now and then in the right context, sprinkled in. But for the most part, we want to build social proof by sharing personal stories of other clients, prospects with successful stories with the same background as the person you're speaking to. So if you're speaking to a lovely lady who's a nurse and who's a single mum, remember a story with a prospect with the exact same background. Make that person feel like, well, if they can do it, I can do it. That's going to instill so much more confidence and reassurance into the prospect that someone with the exact same circumstance and the exact same background achieved success. So why can't I? It's going to be so much more powerful and keep the prospect so much more engaged than you just yapping on about yourself for 20 minutes. The final thing that I want you to stop doing is to stop allowing the prospect to take the lead and ask you a bunch of questions. The moment you do this is the moment you lose authority. I've had this so many times back in the day where I would be on a call with like an A type prospect, a more logical buyer, maybe an older businessman, or just someone with a lot of fear who is using questions as a coping mechanism to try and make themselves feel safe and. But in reality, these people are asking you all these questions because they don't want to open up and be vulnerable. They're deflecting and we cannot allow this otherwise we're just not going to make a sale. So instead, we need to bat these questions away and really put the prospect in their place and make sure they understand there is going to be a time and a place for questions. You see them, you. You hear them, you respect them, you want to make sure they feel safe. But now is not the time for the questions. And a way you can do this is very simply saying, totally get. You have a lot of questions. You'll have an opportunity to ask all these when I share my screen. And as a matter of fact, I'll probably end up answering all these for you when I do share my screen. But for now, I do need to ask a few more questions just to make sure we can actually help you. Does this sound fair? The prospect, of course will tell you it sounds fair because it's more than fair. It will allow the prospect to know that you are in control, you are taking the lead. They can sit back and relax a little bit. They don't need to be so much on fight or flight and this is a safe space for them because at the end of the day, people just want to be led. It's human nature to want to be led. That is why the industry is run or the world, sorry, is run. Like it is with, you know, school, education, university 9 to 5, because it is in an order. Most of us are just being led. So it is our job and our role in a sales call to continue that for the prospect to keep them feeling safe by leading the conversation. Remember, speaking less doesn't mean doing less. It means leading with more control and more power. Because you are not there to teach, you are not there to control. You were there to guide and you were there to lead. And the best closers are the one who can gracefully lead the conversation with clarity and control. They are the ones who close more deals. Remember guys, there's going to be a link in my bio. If you are a woman who are looking to get into sales or you're already in sales and you enjoy what I teach and you want to take your closing career to the next level to, to make more money and achieve your goals, book a call. You can speak with me or my team and we can discuss your goals to see if I can help get you to where you want to be. See you in the next one. Bye, guys.
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