Episode 136: The Top 10 Pillow Talks Podcast Moments of 2023

Hey, I heard you might be able to do something crazy. I heard you might be able to twist your dick 360 degrees. Let's go. I want to see.

Hello, and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your hosts, Vanessa and Zander Marin. I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.

And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationships while giving you step by step techniques for improving yours.

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. Thanks to Cozy Earth for continuing to support Pillow Talks. Give the gift of a good night's rest with cozy earth. Get 35% off site wide when you use code pillow talks@cozyearth.com it is officially our last Pillow Talks podcast episode.

Wait, we're killing the podcast?

No, just 2020.

Oh, my God. I was not expecting this. Wow.

No, just of 20. 23. 52 episodes this year, and I realized we haven't done something in a while that I think was a really classic Pillow Talks episode opener, which is to make you sing. So can you sing a New Year's Eve song?

It's been a long time since you've made me sing, and maybe a long time since I've sang unsolicited a New Year's Eve song. I mean, the only one that comes to mind is, like, Odd Lang saying.

Okay, go for it.

Wait, how do you. I don't. Did you notice how I just.

Yeah, you butchered it.

I butchered it?

I want you to sing it. No, you just sing it, not hum it.

Oh, I don't know the song. Come on, It's New Year's time. I don't know the words to this.

Okay, that's officially your most horrible singing performance ever.

All right, what are other New Year's songs? I can't think of other New Year's.

Well, how about this? Okay, I couldn't think of other New Year's.

Oh, how about this? It's the New Year.

What?

It's Death Cab for Cutie. It's the New Year. I don't know. I can't remember.

It's not even how it goes. It's like, this is the New Year.

This is the New Year.

That's not the melody either.

It's not at all.

No.

Could you, like, please bring that song up on Spotify?

Some weird Song that you were making up. It's the new year.

It's. I can't, like, get it without hearing just like, a little.

Okay, how about this? Because my favorite instance of you singing, which actually I'm not sure was in 2023. I'm pretty sure it was, but I'm not totally positive. How about instead of a New Year's song, you sing Creed with Arms Wide open?

With arms wide open.

I was really trying to think of what episode we could have done that song for, but I don't know. Like the open relationship episode.

I don't know. Could be.

I don't know.

Could be. With relations is wide open.

All right, so 2023 was a great year for Pillow Talks, whether or not with Arms Wide Open was a part of it. We started the year. Our very first episode of the year was how to finally feel sexy. And we are obviously ending it with this episode. But the most recent episode, Am I the asshole? So we started with sexy and we ended with assholes. We covered topics like mental load, dead bedrooms, bristle reaction, faking orgasm, grief, jealousy, and unwanted touch. And we even had our 100th pillow talks podcast episode.

And then we blew right by that.

A huge milestone. I know. Yeah.

We're at 1 136.

Crazy. So today we are looking back at all of the best moments from Pillow Talks this year and rel. The pretty ridiculous laughs that we had together this year.

Oh, yeah. But first, we gotta give you our last review of the week for this year. I really tried to think of a good transition from what Vanessa just said, and unbeknownst to all of you listening, I even paused and our editor is editing that part out because I was like, how can I do this? I gotta have a smooth transition for our last episode of the year.

But didn't do it.

Didn't do it. There's none. None to be had. So let's just get into it. Amazing, fun advice. It's always nice to listen to advice to improve a relationship. Even though my marriage is great, I'm always looking to grow and be the best version of me for my spouse. This podcast does the trick. V and X are so honest and take a lot of perspectives into their conversations. It's not just great for sex either. It's helpful for every part of a relationship. I follow them on Instagram and they are just as great. They're definitely worth the listen.

Oh, thank you for this review. And I want to say, let's make sure that you do not enter 2024 having never left a review for Pillow Talks. Seriously, the reviews go such a long way in helping the podcast grow. It really is, like, the only way for the podcast to grow. So if you have not left us a review yet, please, let's wrap up 2023 with a review. It really would help us so much.

And we know a lot of you haven't because we know how many reviews there are and we know how many listens we get. Every single, tiny, tiny fraction. Seriously. I mean, like, seriously, if every single one of you listening just, like, left to, like, this is a great podcast. That's all you wrote as your review and five stars. And, like, we just got like 20,000 more reviews overnight. Like, that would be so huge for our podcast. We would be featured everywhere. It would be incredible. So, you know, holiday gift to us, New Year's present for us. Just leave a review.

We would really appreciate it. Seriously.

And you might win something.

So go to the main Pillow Talks page of Apple Podcasts. Scroll down to the bottom. You'll find the section to leave the review there. And like Xander was saying, we do a giveaway every single week to say thank you for taking the time to leave a review. So if you hear your review read on an episode, you can email us@infoemtherapy.com and you will get to pick a masterclass to get absolutely for free. It's our little gift to you. All right, so let's get into it. I wanted to start us off with our current most popular episodes. Number one has been holding strong for, like, two years now. The truth about why we're child free.

Yeah, that one. I'm curious if that will ever be surpassed.

Number two was Dead Bedrooms. We coach one couple through resuscitating their sex life, and we actually just released a Dead Bedrooms Part 2 episode. So if you liked that one, check this one out. Smasher Pass 4 Play Edition, which we will talk about more later.

That may have been the most fun episode that we recorded this year. We did two Smasher passes this year, right? I'm pretty sure we did the Intercourse and the Foreplay Edition. Both of those are incredible. I think the Foreplay Edition was the one that yielded a lot of particularly funny moments.

Number four was Initiation, what you and your partner are doing wrong. And number five was Ask Us Anything. Part three, the extra Spicy edition. Oh, and I also wanted to call out. This was not one of our most popular episodes, but this year we made episode 94, the start here episode. Allow us to reintroduce ourselves. So if you're Fairly new to the Pillow Talks world. That is a great episode to go back to and start with. Like, one of my challenges when I'm finding a new podcast is like, there are hundreds of episodes and you're like, I. I don't know, do I go back from the beginning and try to start there, or do I listen to the most recent ones? But then I'm kind of like missing the context. Like, what is this podcast? What's it all about? So we wanted to create that episode to help introduce who we are, what we do, what this podcast is all about, so you can really feel included and in the know.

Yeah. I mean, ironically, with podcasts, this is maybe some weird, like, behind the scenes podcast info for you, but you might be wondering, oh, well, like, why don't you just make your first episode like, you know, introducing yourselves? The weird thing about podcasts is that your first episode pretty much never gets the highest number of listens. You know, you might have an episode in your first 10 that ends up having a lot of listens. And a lot of people do go back and go, all right, I'll start from the beginning. But I think a lot of other people go, yeah, I know those first few episodes, they're just going to be like, getting their sea legs and figuring it out, and they're probably not going to be very good. So I think that a lot of people, like, skip over those first couple episodes. We picked what we thought were going to be some really great topics for our first five or so episodes. And it's ironically, a lot of those five episodes don't have the most listens. Just because you're getting started, you're still getting people listening and whatnot. So, hey, go back. Those first couple episodes are real good.

Okay, so here's how we created this episode. We turned to our Instagram community, and if you're not following us there, definitely worth heading over there. We're at Vanessa and Xander, and Xander is with an X. So we asked our community, like, what were your favorite episodes, the best moments, the most helpful things? And so we compiled the list there. We also have had one of our team members, Jackie, throughout the year, has been collecting the moments that really made her laugh as well. So we made this episode from a combination of all of that feedback. So we decided to go with the funniest moments from the podcast. Like, as we were sorting through all these responses, we were like, like just the ones that made us laugh feel the most interesting. It felt like it would make the most fun episode. But we Wanted to just take a minute to call out some of the other episodes that people in our community said were the most impactful, most powerful for them. So one of them was episode 88, how to decide if you should have kids or not. And are we still child free by choice?

Oh, spoiler alert.

Ye. So that first episode, the truth about why we're child free, that's been our number one episode for such a long time. But we wanted to do like a follow up because we got so many questions about that. People asking like, okay, well, what do I do if I'm unsure about this? Do you have advice for my situation? So that's a great episode to check out if you are unsure about kids.

Another one was episode 99, the Bristle Reaction. What it is, how it happens, and what you can do to fix it. And so we recorded this episode very soon after our totally viral TikTok and Instagram reel about why we make out every night, where Vanessa just kind of mentions the Bristle Reaction in passing, and then the comments are just, like, blowing up like, oh, my God, bristle reaction. Like, I. I know that. I know that feeling. I felt that, like, what do we do to stop it? And was like, oh, my God, we gotta get more content out about this thing.

Next we had episode 115. Grief and sex, loving each other through a loss. And that was probably one of the most vulnerable episodes we've ever done, aside from the child free episode.

It took us a long time to feel ready to record that one.

Yeah, that was. We talked about our loss of our pug, Winston, which was a really monumental thing that happened to us this year. So that was challenging to do, but we really wanted to be able to tackle that topic. And a lot of people said that it helped them work through their own grief and, you know, feelings of loss. And a lot of people gave us feedback about how nice it was to see that much vulnerability from us.

Yeah, there's. There are a lot of tears on that episode. Yeah. So moving from vulnerability to mansplaining, we have episode 120, why do guys do this? Xander explains male behavior. And this episode is a great look into how the male brain works. Some of the idiosyncrasies of the male brain, or at least my male brain. And it's. It's always fun for me to record and kind of jokingly speak for all men. Obviously, the episode is caveated constantly of I can't actually speak for all men, but it's kind of funny to pretend to. Right?

Well, I know. I think you're selling yourself short. You gave a lot of great insight. Like, obviously not every single man on the planet's brain works the same, but I think you were able to share a lot of insight that women found to be very valuable.

And I think that episode is a particularly good conversation starter with perhaps a man in your life who maybe you would like to communicate a little more in depth with. Because communication about feelings and emotions tends to be something that men struggle with. So listening to an episode like this where, you know, your man can hear another man stumble through stuff that other men might be thinking or feeling, that can often be a really great starting place for, like, you know, oh, okay, yeah. Oh, I agree with that part. Or like, oh, yeah, like that part, not so much for me, but like, here's how it really is for me. That can be a really great way to kind of get the wheels turning on those more deeper emotional conversations that are harder.

A lot of people mentioned episode 121 when she wants it more. Navigating mismatched libidos when the woman has a higher drive. This was such an important topic for us to cover because you only ever hear it talked about, like in male female relationships, that it's the man who wants sex more. He always wants sex. He'll take it wherever, whenever. She's always having to fend him off. But the reality is that in 45% of male female relationships, it's actually the woman who has a higher libido. So that episode was really incredible for us to be able to, like, share with our community and help normalize this. So people said it helped them validate their own experiences and feelings. And a few people said that this episode was a life changer for them.

And finally we have episode 125, am I the asshole? This was super fun for us to record. It's really fun to get to go deeper into your stories and get to really dig into them and. And share a lot of the nuances of what we think about stuff. And. And we got a ton of great feedback on this, that it was super funny. That is another great conversation starter. It's really easy to be able to talk to your partner about, like, hey, like, here's what these guys think about this. What do you think about this?

Wait, will you describe am I the asshole? For somebody who doesn't phrase, oh, yeah.

Yeah, so am I? The asshole is actually a thread that started on Reddit where people would type in their questions, basically, like, here's a situation of Something that happened to me or something that I did or something that I said. Am I the asshole or is somebody else the asshole in this situation? Like, you know, a tense situation. Something where you got angry at someone for something that they did or someone did something to you and you lashed out at them. And it's like, am I justified in how I feel or am I being the asshole?

All right, so let's get into the top ten moments of pillow talks in 2023. First up, we have a moment from the first two minutes of episode 97, smash or pass. We try the wildest sex tips you've ever heard. This was the Foreplay edition. The year was 1997. Young Vanessa was 13 years old. She was walking out of her house one day and she saw it. A stack of Cosmo magazines sitting out by the neighbor's trash. What is that noise?

It's like the high pitched, kind of like voice of God, you know, like in movies where it's like, I can't quite hit the note where, like, you see them and everything stops and it's just like the voice from the heavens comes out and you're like, oh, this is. This is the thing that I was meant to find.

Do it one more time. It's so good.

Yeah, that's so good. First of all, huge props to our editor Art for understanding exactly what I was talking about and putting the appropriate effect on my voice. So if you are listening to that, you don't actually hear the original audio of what I. Of what I actually said. It was more of like.

We should have no reverb, no effects on that one.

So you can. Oh, man.

It was like, hear the raw original.

It's like he added reverb, but he also. I. It also almost sounds like he like, turned my. My voice into like a chord or something, because that's like, really what it is. It's like, you know, some, like, synthesizer chord.

Well, I was trying to describe a very pivotal moment in my childhood, which was finding these Cosmo magazines. This was really like one of the initial interests in sex and sex therapy that I had. Like, I found all these magazines and there were so many weird tips in them, and it was such a, like, bad sex education for me of thinking I needed to do all of these things to surprise and delight my man and keep him on his toes. And so we talked about that in the context of the episode. Like, that was the whole point of these two Smash or Pass episodes. Like, we wanted to try out these tips that people had read about or just heard about and always wondered, like, is that actually any good? And spoiler alert, the vast majority of them were not. Especially the Foreplay edition ones.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, that is a really good kind of insight or view into the way my brain works. You. You heard me. Like, I did. I had the thought of, like, you know, oh, I gotta make this. This sound, you know, that you hear in the movies. Right? And so I do it, and then Vanessa's like, what's that? And then I'm like, what's the word for that? I have no idea. Like, this is. This is just the story of the way my brain works. I have an idea. It makes perfect sense in my head. When the. When there are no words associated with it. I'm like, okay, great. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead. Like. Like, let's bring this out into the open. And then all of a sudden, it's like, wait, it made a lot of sense in my head, but there are no words like, what would you. What would you call it other than the sound of. What did I say? The sound of God.

The voice of God. I don't. Like. I guess I don't know.

That synthesizer chord, that synthesizer chord that you often hear in movies.

I don't know what to call that moment, to be honest. There's. There's got to be some movie buff who knows the proper term out there.

Yeah. There's gott. There's gotta be some weird, like. Yeah. Cinematography or, like, audio term for what that is, because it is, like, a very common thing.

All right, let's move on to number two. This is from episode 126, queefing and farting and Squirting. Oh, my. Bodily functions in the bedroom. Let's listen to this clip.

Hotels, they never have Kleenex.

Put the Kleenex box by the bed. You know, we're having hotel sex always.

In the bathroom, and it's like. Like, guys, like, they're your sheets. Like, I know. Like, you gotta watch. I would love to hear from any, like, hospitality hotel people that listen to this. Like, has nobody thought of this? Like, you're. You would probably use far. Like, your. Your washes would have to be far less intense. Would be fewer bodily fluids soaked into all of your sheets if you just made the Kleenex. Easy. Okay.

So for me, this wasn't like. I just really appreciated how worked up both of us got about this. It was like we discovered this secret pet peeve that we'd had live as we were recording. Like, why is this such a Big deal. Why are there never any Kleenex there? And in fact, we actually got so worked up about it that we made it into its own reel. Like, we made a whole reel while.

We were on vacation after this had happened one too many times.

Just saying, like, hotels, like, put the Kleenex by the bed, please. And actually, it spurned a bit of a debate because a ton of people in the comments were like, kleenex, that's disgusting.

What would you use those for?

And so a ton of people said that they used the washcloths from the bathroom. And I was like, I think the washcloths are a little bit, like, if you want. I'm not a gentleman. I mean, hey, either one is fine. Do whatever you want. But the people who are like, oh, no, the Kleenex are too dirty. I'm gonna use the washcloth. I was like, really? You trust the washcloths more than the Kleenex? I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, I. I get it. You're. It's less wasteful. It's less wasteful. But I mean, we're not. We're talking about a couple Kleenex.

Wait. On that note, though, we actually had a conservation specialist message us. And they're like, actually, Kleenex are very eco friendly. Like, they break down really quickly and readily and easily.

They break down pretty quickly and easily in your hands. So I would imagine they break down pretty quickly and easily in the dirt, especially with a little bit of precipitation.

No wet wipes. Those are the worst. But Kleenex can. So anyways, let us know, like, come over to Instagram. Tell us, are you team Kleenex or team washcloth? And especially in a hotel.

Also, the other thing that I thought was very funny was this stirred up a huge debate, or not even debate, but, like, people being triggered by, like, oh, my God, I never thought about that with the sheets. But like, oh, my God, I can't ever stay in a hotel again after this. Like, I can't. Like, you use the Kleenex for that. I am never touching the Kleenex in another hotel room. I was like, wait, what? Like, no one is. Like, okay, first of all, it's not like you have bodily fluids, like, all over your hands, and then you stick your hand, like, into the Kleenex box and grab every single one and rub it around. Like, what do you think is happening there? Like, the Kleenexes are meant to be grabbed sheet by sheet. It's really nice and convenient, quite sanitary. But, I mean, life is a messy Place. Life is a messy place. Hotels. Sex is messy. And hotels, as much as we like to think that they are clean, oh, no.

Hotels are disgusting.

Are messy disgusting places too?

Absolutely. Okay, let's move on to number three. This comes from episode 110, unzipped and unfiltered. Your funniest sex fails.

One time while on a road trip, my partner and I were talking about what we liked and didn't like about our sex life, which always gets us riled up. Too riled up to keep driving. So we ended up pulling over. He was kneeling on the floor of the passenger seat, going down on me all the way, reclined. We were down a little embankment. So with the angle, even if cars pass, we were not visible, and therefore I could let go. But next thing I know, there is a woman on horseback in front of our car, and we make eye contact for a second before she shields her eyes and looks away. Literally, the only way someone could have seen into our car was if they were 9ft tall or on a horse. And I guess it was our lucky day. The moment passed that day, and now we only stop for roadside quickies far away from farms.

Can you imagine, like, having sex and you look up and there's just a horse, just a woman on a horse staring down at you?

Yeah. Riding along the side of the freeway. Sounds like a great. A great ride. Wow.

That one killed me. Just the mental image of looking up and there's someone on a horse looking down at you. Like, the horse is looking at you, the woman is looking at you. Like, what is going on?

The horse is, like, unapproving.

Can you do a nay?

No. Because horses go, like, when they're. When they're kind of flustered. It wouldn't be doing a nay. It would just be like, I. I.

Know nothing about horses, but also, I.

I don't know if I could fit, like, getting into a kneeling position on the floor of the passenger seat of our car sounds really challenging.

It sounds awful.

It's really hard for me to get into this position that I am currently in to record this podcast, and it's sitting on a bed on.

That's one of the changes that we made to pillow talks this year. We started just in the last couple weeks experimenting with just sitting in our. I mean, because it's pillow talks. It feels like. It feels right. It feels natural.

Yeah. It turns out it's super comfy for Vanessa.

I love it.

It is a challenge for me. I have not quite yet figured it out. I need, like, I feel like I need some kind of, like, pillow, chair, or, you know what I need? You know those camping chairs where, like, you sit on it and it, like, holds you up in the back? Like, I need. I need one of those in here.

All right, let's move on to moment number four from episode 131, a very recent one, how honest is too honest. So this episode explored the phrase, I was just being honest. I think that's something that we've all heard in relationships. And so we wanted to take a look at, like, when is honesty a good thing? And when is it crossing the line into cruelty or even just being unnecessary? Like, you don't always have to be honest. So we went.

Too honest.

Too honest? Yeah, so we went through a bunch of different scenarios. You know, people wrote in and sent us their situations, and we gave our hot takes on if they were being too honest or just honest enough in that situation. I think the spoiler alert on that one was that most of them, we thought they were being too honest. I think people have just made honesty out to be a little bit of an excuse to be honest.

Yeah. Like an excuse to be mean or to not really think through the impact of what you're saying might have on somebody else.

So in this one, we ended up telling one of our personal stories of something that came up recently, I believe somewhat recently.

Like, I was. I was going down on you, and then. And then we had sex. And then afterwards, you were like, you know, you were like, oh, whoops. Like, my period just came. And, like, you know, I noticed, like, a bit, like, a bit of a more metallic flavor. I don't know what the right word is, but it's like, that's just part of the deal. Like that. Like, that's what we signed up for.

Like, tell the real story. If we're being honest, tell the real story.

Well, I don't know. Is there any more?

I sat on your face. It wasn't great. It wasn't that you just went down on me. I like, oh, you sat on your face and made you go down on me and you knew that I was like, had started my period.

Well, let's. First of all, let's be real here. You're never making me do it. I am happily doing that.

When I sit on your face. It is much more for your benefit than for mine.

It is. I love it.

But, yeah, in that episode, we ended up getting into some of our most embarrassing sex stories. I don't even remember exactly how it happened, but I just remember being in the moment thinking like, oh, we're going there. So listen to that episode for. There's even one other story that we started with and then this one we kind of at that point I was just like, well, we're going there and we're telling all the embarrassing stories.

So, hey, time to be Too honest in the how honest is too honest episode.

Exactly. Let's tell you a little bit more about Cozy Earth. They are one of our absolute favorite sponsors because we are obsessed with their sheets. We use them on our bed every single night. We just love crawling into bed at the end of the night because these sheets are so soft, so luxurious. Just make bedtime feel so much more special. And Cozy Earth is offering you 35% off site wide when you use the code pillow talks@cozyearth.com cozy earth bedding is made from ethically sourced viscose from bamboo. It's naturally breathable and temperature regulating. They have two different kinds of sheets. Our favorite is the linen. We love having like a little bit of texture to our sheets and these have the per perfect texture while still being really soft. They are not scratchy like other linen sheets that you might find. But Cozy Earth also makes pajamas from that same ultra soft viscose from bamboo. And they have been featured on Oprah's Favorite things for many years in a row. All of their products come with a 10 year warranty. Their bedding is temperature regulating and all of their products come with a 10 year warranty. We love their stuff so much, we can't wait for you to try it out. We really think you're gonna love it. Give a cozy gift. This holiday season, Cozy Earth provided an exclusive offer for Pillow Talks listeners today. Get 35% off site wide when you use the code pillow talks@cozyearth.com Next is a moment from episode 100, our 100th episode extravaganza, the ultimate round of Know Ya Boo. Xander, will you explain what know Yaboo is?

All right, so no. Yaboo is a fictional game that was created in the show Parks and Rec, which is a classic. It was by Aziz Ansari's character, which is. Oh my God, what's his name?

Tom.

Parks and Rec. Tom. Yeah. So it's Tom creates this game where basically the host asks a like, like a relationship type of question to each partner and they both like write down the answer and it's like about one of the partners. So it'd be like, oh, what's Vanessa's favorite color? And we both write down the answer and the Goal is that I have the same answer that Vanessa does. And if I do, then I know. I know my boo.

Yeah.

And if I don't, I don't know. I don't get a point. I don't know my boo. And so, you know, you switch off asking questions about each other and to see how many answers your partner gets right about you. How well do they really know Yaboo.

Can you tell our friends who won this game?

Obviously, Vanessa won this game. Is that even a question? Do we even need to share that part?

So I won by a long shot. And I got really worked up about this game. I had so much fun. I was really invested in winning, and I was absolutely thrilled when I did win.

Yeah, I know. Give this girl a game and a whole nother side comes out.

This moment came from Jackie, one of our teammates, and her decision description of the moment is V going feral over dominating X in the no Yaboo game.

It sums it up.

Well, let's listen to it. So I. I said that you would not be able to list a pet peeve.

Well, you are correct. I have a blank.

No ya boo.

I was gonna. I was just gonna wait and see what you said and kind of judge in the moment. Is this. Is this really a big pet peeve?

No Yaboo. Okay. I was so proud of myself in that moment because I knew that you weren't going to have an answer.

It was your Lindsay Lohan. The limit does not exist.

Yeah, the limit does not exist. Exactly. But that is such a fun episode to listen to with your partner. You can turn it into, like, a cute game between the two of you or a date night. Even a road trip can be super fun. Like, you can go through all the questions and before you hear us give our answers, just pause, come up with your own answers so you can play the game the two. Just the two of you. And I think we actually, if you go to our website@vmtherapy.com podcast, you can find episode 100. And I think we made. We put, like, a list of all the questions so you can have it for, like, easy reference there too. But it was super fun. We did 50. Or was it 100 questions?

I think we did 50. We couldn't. 100 was too long, but we did 50 and each of us answer. So it was a hundred different answers.

Got it. Okay, next up, we have a moment from episode 90. Why missionary is secretly one of our favorite positions. So, Xander, what was happening in this moment?

So what was happening was we were Trying to describe how you can move in in missionary and some different variations that you can do in missionary. And I was realizing it is kind of a challenge to describe these things that, you know, that you do in real life. But then, like, how do you actually translate that into, like, what is going to make sense for somebody else because you're not actually doing it in the moment. So I was like, you know what? I just need to get. Get down on the floor and act this out so that I can make sure I'm accurately giving you information. And so got down on the floor. You know, we have some mic stands that can move around. So Vanessa helped me out by moving my mic around so that I could still talk, and Vanessa lost her shit. There are kind of shades, I guess, of, like, how you can be on your. On your elbows and forearms, you know? God, I might have to, like, get down on the floor.

I mean, you've already, like, thrust it in here. You've air jacked off. Like, get down on the ground and start. Do it. We have an adjustable mic.

No, I mean, I can't. I can't get down the ground.

Okay, hold on.

Wait. All right, I'm in the background. I'm on the floor. All right. So, like, when you're on your forearms, that's a very easy position to be on in terms of, like. Like, not getting tired out. I just love, like, the action in this one. Like, you can. You can hear me. It kind of is like breaking the third wall. Or is it the fourth wall breaking the fourth wall of podcasting. You know, it's like, you know, we do all these things with all this equipment so that we sound really good. It sounds like we were speaking into your ears, right? Like, there's no background sounds. And then all of a sudden, there's me bumping the mic, like, getting up out of my comfortable seat. I'm on the floor. I'm, like, yelling. You can, like, hear that I'm far away from the mic.

I just remember dying, like, watching you down on the ground trying to explain how to do missionary and, like. But you. You couldn't do it unless you were. You couldn't explain it unless you were actually physically doing it. So you're, like, humping the air, thrusting against the carpet, trying to figure out how to describe missionary.

Yeah, I mean, it's. You know, it's just instinctual at this. This point. Like, I don't really think about it that much while I'm doing it, so it's, like, hard to. Hard to explain. Exactly. Okay, first I do this and I do that, and like, all right, let's just do it. Let's make it happen.

So that episode, obviously, most of our titles are pretty self explanatory, but that's a great one where we really get into all the nitty gritty of how to make missionary so much more fun and enjoyable. I think missionary gets a really bad rep. People think like, oh, God, it's just the most boring position. But there are so many ways to spice it up and make it even more fun. So that's a great one to check out. All right, our seventh through tenth moments are all from Smash or Pass. First up, we have a moment from the Foreplay edition. So, again, this was a series where we tried out on our own different sex tips that you guys had provided to us. We originally went to Instagram and said, like, yeah, what were some of the weirdest tips you've ever heard? What do you want us to try out? See if it actually works or not. I think. Let's just play this one without any introduction. What were your thoughts? Did you think you would enjoy getting raspberries blown on your balls?

Nope.

You didn't?

No. I had pretty low expectations of this one. In fact, I had a pretty strong suspicion I was gonna hate it.

Let's play the clip. We're doing this for science.

Okay.

Xander has.

I volunteered my balls.

You Donald Duck yourself in the kitchen.

This feels almost, like, too intimate to air this audio on the podcast.

You don't have to if you don't want to. I can't do it.

All right, cool. I don't want to watch. Oh, no. Never again. Never again. Vanessa is curled up in a ball on the floor, laughing.

You jumped.

It was horrible. I just got chills thinking about that. Not the good kind of chills. It was not. Not super pleasant to receive a big. It was a loud raspberry.

It was. That was one of the funniest things I've ever done, period. Like, not just for the podcast, just period. I will never forget you just in the middle of our kitchen, pulling your pants down and me going to town giving a raspberry to your balls and, like, recording it too. I mean, that, for me, that was what made it next level. Like, it's one thing for us to try it and then report back, but to actually have audio in the moment was so freaking fun and very intimate. It was incredibly intimate.

A little too intimate. My balls have been the subject of a couple of weird things, Experiments. It was also, I think that There was a time where it was like blowing bubbles.

Well, we turned this into an Instagram reel series as well. That was the warm ball dip that you're referring to. Yeah. We had to, like, dunk your balls in a bowl of water, and I used, like, a straw to blow bubbles into them.

Why?

We've done some weird things. That's why you need to follow us on Instagram, because we turned Smasher Pass into a series that we do over on Instagram. Our final three are all from episode number 102. This was smash or the Intercourse edition. I think all of these we're just gonna have to play without any sort of introduction or explanation to begin with because they're all pretty off the rails. They are an ER physician, and they had a patient come in with something because they had tried out a tip that the guy had read in Cosmo.

Great. It had gone horribly wrong, which is why he's in the hospital.

Why he's in the er. Yeah.

Okay, let's open this puppy up. Okay. All right. I'm an ER physician, and I once had a patient who put his titanium wedding ring on his dick as a cock ring to surprise his wife. Oh, God. I already have a lot of questions and concerns about this.

He just looked at his wedding ring. Do you think you could even, like.

I have. Okay, let's just put it this way. I don't want to be, like, comparing too much. I have.

I have a huge.

I have. I have very skinny fingers. Okay, let's just put it that way. I have very skinny fingers. So for me. For me, this would not work regardless. Hard or soft. Also, hey, I mean, like, I'm. I'm a. I'm a grower, not a shower. And yet this. This still would not work because of my skinny fingies.

Even if you add thick fingers, though, like, I don't know. I'm in shock. No, I'm not, like, trying to size shame anybody. Like, people are totally different sizes. Flaccid, and it has no relation to how big you are. Hard. But that, like, a wedding ring is really small. Yeah, well, actually, that's a squeeze.

Yeah, Well, I guess, you know. Yes. It wouldn't. It wouldn't fit. The thing is, is that, like, your soft penis is quite pliable.

I was showing you how pliable.

I was showing you this the other day. I can't remember what I did, though. You do. Wow. So, like, here's. Here's what I was gonna say, though, is that, like, yeah, if I need. In a pinch, like, If. If you. If you were like, your life depends on whether you can slide. All right, hold for laughter.

You think you could do it? Really?

The head. The head would be the challenge. But I. I bet I could. I bet I could.

Do not try this.

I won't. I won't. Don't worry. I won't. So here's the thing. What I'm saying is I'm sure that in a pinch, I could, because when it softens, it's real pliable. But here's the thing. I'm looking at the ring. I know what. I know what it looks like when it gets hard. And take a picture of looking at the ring. I know what it looks like when it gets hard. And I know that this would never work.

That moment was so memorable for me. Just you holding your wedding ring, looking down at your crotch, just like. I could see the wheels turning in your head of like. Like, is it possible for me to squeeze my penis through? He's got his ring out again now. Do you still feel like you could get it through there if your life depended on it?

I think it would. I think it would hurt a lot.

I think it would really. I think you would land in the hospital just like the gentleman from this episode.

Yeah. Now, in a minute, you'll hear another one about weird things you can do with the soft penis. So it's definitely possible to do some funny stuff with. With a penis. But, yeah, the wedding ring. I also. Yeah, I have particularly skinny fingers. I do not want to mess with that.

All right, let's play the next clip. If you didn't grow up with a penis, you treat it a lot more delicately. So we talk about this in our foreplay guides. In our hand job section, we're like, you can use a lot more force than you might think. Like, it's. It's. It's not a delicate thing. You can beat that penis up. Why don't we. Now I'm just doing, like, tangents on tangents on tangents.

I love. This is usually what I do. So it's. I. I love seeing it in her.

I feel like there's so many rap songs that are all about, like, beat the pussy up. It's like, it's really beat the penis up.

I mean, it really is. I mean, that. That is. Is. It's ch. It's chomping on that dick. It's grinding on the dick. I mean, it's. I mean, the penis is enveloped, like, it's getting beat the hell up.

Is that good dirty talk? I'M gonna beat your penis up tonight.

Beat the peen.

Beat the peen. It definitely has to be penis. It can't be like.

Well, yeah, I mean, I was gonna say it's not very sexy when you say, I'm gonna beat your pe. Okay.

And this actually just rolls straight along into our final moment. And I will crown this. This moment was the funniest moment of the entire year for me.

But first, I just have to appreciate you are. You're close to hyperventilating at the end of that last.

This entire episode. I was like. My stomach hurt. I was crying. It was like painful for me to record this episode because I was laughing so hard. This, this episode, the Intercourse Edition smasher Pass Episode 102. This is my favorite episode of the whole year. It was so much fun.

It was a really good one.

And prepping for it was so fun. And we even had some discoveries of things that actually worked. Some weird tips that surprised us.

We absolutely did that. We still, we still do some of those things sometimes in our own sex life because they are that good. I'm just, I'm just like trying to fill time while she collects herself. But you know, hey, it, it can be fun.

It can be fun.

We did.

You, you don't remember the test that we did? Like two weeks ago? I saw a tick tock where somebody was like, ladies, did you know you could twist it 360 degrees? And I was like, no way. Like, this is another, this is another like weird TikTok thing. And I like looked over you and I was like, you can't twist at 360 degrees. We were just on the couch watching TV. Xander whips his dick. And he did it. He did the full 360 twist. It was like he was more than 360. Now he's recording me. Get out of here. I know. We're supposed to start recording video of the podcast.

It's a little BTS BTS for Instagram.

You twisted it a full. Like it was probably 400 degrees. How did you do that? And it, you were like. It was like, no thing. You could have kept going.

No, I, I couldn't have.

What did it feel? I mean, that was terrifying. It was like an owl watching an owl. Stop looking at me like that. You gotta say something.

She's crazed.

Yeah. I have never been that hysterical recording an episode ever. But that was just one of the funniest moments of my entire life.

All thanks to my penis. My soft little penis that will twist 360 degrees. No problem. But not much further.

Soft little penis.

So, I mean, if you want a fun conversation starter with, if you have a male partner, be like, hey, I heard you might be able to do something crazy. I heard you might be able to twist your dick. 360 degrees. Let's go. I want to see.

Should we turn this into, like, drop them drawers competition? Like, who. Who thinks that they can get the most degrees? I don't want to see people.

I don't want to send anybody to the hospital. I really don't. But I do think that 365 degrees is probably manageable for. Wait, I said 365. 360.

You did more than three.

Probably manageable for most men. Wow.

I mean, I was really impressed. I was super impressed by your. What do you call it? Your soft little pain.

Yeah, you know, I've been practicing my whole life. Just twisting away day and night. I be twisting. No, I've never, never, never practiced that in my life.

Oh, my God. Thank you, TikTok. If it wasn't for TikTok, man, I wouldn't have never thought to ask you that. Also, just that moment of, like, on the couch. I will never that of you just, like, flopping it out and like, yeah, let me twist. Was for somebody. You know, as a non penis owner myself, just seeing the ways that you could beat that thing up was truly shocking.

Yeah. I mean, you're just generally intrigued by the fact that you can just kind of whip a dick out in almost any situation.

Yeah, I mean, if I had one, I'd be whipping it out all the time.

You know what?

Maybe twisting it all the time.

I don't know if this is too honest, but one of. One of Vanessa's favorite things to see is, like, if I'm like, if I'm just naked, like, lying in bed, you know, maybe before I go to sleep, if I'm lying on my back very often. Do you want to describe it? You. You describe it so well.

I just think penises are so funny. They fascinate me. I mean, to, like, have your genitals on the outside of your body just like, like flopping around all day. I mean, same with balls. Just flopping around all day. How do they not get squished? I'm really concerned about that. Like, you're moving, you're running, you're jogging. Like, how are they not getting squished in there? But yeah, I mean, the penis, it's just always like, doing such cute things. Like, we took a bath the other day and it was floating so nicely. When you get in bed and you're tired and it's at the end of the night, like, it just rests on the balls like a little pillow. It just looks like this perfect little pillow princess tucked up in there. Yeah, she's always something.

Look at that little guy just resting on his pillow. I wouldn't want to disturb him.

And the balls just, like, look like such a nice little pillow.

They are. That's why it's there.

So that's. That's what Pillow Talks is all about. You know, penis talk. Just fun penis tricks.

Should we change the name to Penis Talks?

Penis Talks.

Penis Talks.

And then Xander's Penis Talks.

Look who's talking now. Xander's Penis.

Because, like, we've struggled to come up with, like, what's a cute name for our listeners? And they could all just be, like, soft, little twisty penises.

Or it could be, like, you know, I don't know. The penis havers could be the penis talkers, and the vulva havers could be the vulva talkers. Sure. No, that's dumb. I love that idea.

All right, well, that is the end of our top 10 moments of pillow talks in 2023. We look forward to creating so many wonderful new moments for you in 2024. Before we wrap up the episode, though, we want to take a moment to thank the people who have helped us not only create this episode, but all of the Pillow Talks episodes. We mentioned Art, our incredible podcast editor, who has been with us almost since.

The very beginning and is, yeah, absolutely responsible for our podcast, sounding extremely professional. If you listen to. I don't know what episode cut off it was when he started, and then also when we upgraded some equipment. But, like, probably, you know, from episode 20 onward, we're sounding pretty darn profesh.

Yeah. And also making Xander sound great with his singing, putting in some good sound effects.

I really couldn't do it without you.

Also, Jackie for keeping track of all these moments and helping us with show notes. And Emma and Laura for helping us prep all of these episodes and do all the things to get them out on all the platforms on YouTube and our social team, Maddie and Rose for also turning, especially now that we're doing video, like, turning these into clips to share on social media.

And also our sales and marketing manager, Joe, for making sure that mentions of our new podcast episodes go out in our weekly emails to our email followers.

And she was even the one to suggest the am I the asshole? Theme.

She was. Thank you, Joe. That's a gold mine.

All right, well, it has been a crazy year, full of so many ups and downs, but recording this podcast week to week has always been a constant. And if you've helped support us in any way this year by listening, leaving comments and ratings, following us on social media, buying our guides and courses, we want to say thank you so much for being here. It really means the world to us, and we are always looking for new ways to grow. So please let us know either in a review or come over to Instagram. Vanessa and Xander, like, what are the topics that you want to see us cover in the new year? Whether it's something brand new or maybe another round of one of the series that we've been doing? Like, ask us anything. Smash or pass.

A part two, a part three.

Yeah.

A part four.

Come let us know. We'd love to hear from you.

All right, well, that's all for today's episode of Pillow Talks and this year's episodes of Pillow Talks. Thank you so much for listening. Join us again next week when we tell the story of how I got a vasectomy.

I hug your dick with my mouth.

Whoa.

We're crossing the line. Wait, we gotta check that out.

It's not really appropriate to be.

I mean, you set me up for.

Just be like. And that's how you stay out of a dead bedroom, people.

Take out the hug your dick with my mouth part. Okay.