3 EASY WAYS To Become Irresistible So They NEVER WANT To Leave

Irresistible energy is bold. Irresistible energy is unapologetic. And in this video, I wanna show you 3 easy ways to become irresistible so that they never wanna leave, but also how to transform this from the inside out because there's a deeper core thing here. This isn't just about some like way of looking at something. It's like, oh, like surface level thing. Like I'm looking online right now, it's funny. I'm on Google, I typed in, I was curious as to what does the mainstream say about qualities that are irresistible that people possess? Now, this is what it says on Google. It says, one, they are nice to you. Two, they know their worth. Three, they make you feel comfortable. Four, they avoid drama and negativity. Now in general, some of these are true. They know their worth. When you know your self-worth, you are more attracted. When you don't let people walk on you and you set boundaries, that makes you attractive. Now, when they're nice to you, that may make you irresistible, but if you're being nice in order to get their validation, then it will actually repel. This was something I had to go through because I learned from my dad growing up that, you know, my dad was such a nice guy that he let people walk on him a lot. And the funny thing is my dad's really good at his business, like what he does for a living. He's a fire investigator. He's super passionate about what he does. So in that way, he's like, very much in alignment with who he is. But in relationship dynamics, he attracted my ex-stepmom who was in my life from when I was 7 to 15 years old, who was manipulative and controlling. And as a side effect of him being nice, he attracted people that would take advantage of him. But part of his way of being nice was him wanting other people's approval or validation or not wanting people to feel negative emotion. And I had to learn to shed the being nice thing because a lot of times I was in relationships or I was with friends and I was being nice, even though it wasn't necessarily authentic, but I was really being nice to get validation. I was being nice so that people didn't feel like negative emotions. So the thing is, is you wanna be aware of where's the energy coming from? Because I had to become aware of myself. And this is the first thing that will make you irresistible to where they never wanna leave is that you go deeper on understanding any abandonment wound you might have. That's right, we're going deeper into this episode. This isn't just some of these things. It's like smile more often, make them laugh. I'm gonna read here in a minute. I'm gonna read this other article. It talks about like humor, but I wanna show you the differences between these two because the thing is, like it says, they avoid from drama and negativity. If you do not have negativity and drama in your life, there will be some people that will not be attracted to you. Some people are addicted to negativity and drama. And I remember I had one of my first girlfriends actually, I remember her saying like, because I wasn't arguing with her, because I was in the old nice guy people pleaser mentality, she was like, this is like, I feel like we're supposed to argue or something like that. Like, I feel like, "You know, we gotta spice it up a little bit." I'm like, I remember thinking to myself like, "That's interesting." But maybe that's what she was used to. That's the drama and the negativity that maybe some people feed on. So you wanna be more specific here. When we look about this idea of something being irresistible, we wanna ask ourselves is who is it irresistible to? Because when you read some of these articles, you'll see that some of them are manipulative tactics to get people to like you. So if anybody leads with trying to put on a front or to look a certain way to certain people to get other people's validation or approval, then you'll most likely attract people that also play that manipulation game. Or maybe they're only with you because of, you know, something that you're giving them or a certain way that you're being versus you being the real you. Now, when we look at the abandonment wound, this was the biggest thing in my life that I had to transform. It is around this whole entire concept of even what this title says, because if you clicked on it, then it says, you know, 3 easy ways to become irresistible so they don't leave you. You may have a fear of someone leaving you. You may have a fear that someone's gonna abandon you, and that comes from the abandonment wound. Now, this many times stems back to childhood. And when you look at your childhood, my question for you is, Were you or did you feel emotionally or physically abandoned as a kid? Did you feel or were you emotionally abandoned as a kid? Now, this could mean that your parents were physically there, but they were emotionally not available. You felt like you weren't safe to express your own emotions. Maybe some condition happened where, you know, sometimes I see it where, Kids might get a B on a test and their parents withhold their love or withhold their validation. And they say, you're not good enough if you get a B, that's not good enough. And then the kid feels, I'm not good enough. My parents will leave and withhold their love unless I do and achieve something. So then what happens at a deeper level is we're trying to be somebody else or we're trying to like be a certain way so that we don't lose people's love. And we've started tuning ourselves to other people. But that will repel love more than anything else is when we are changing our sense of gravity or our sense of energy so that other people feel like lack of tension or they feel like validated. It's 'cause we're looking for validation on the outside. So one of the things that will make you more irresistible than anything else is when you stop abandoning yourself. That was something I had to start doing. Because I was attracting relationships. I was attracting people in my life that would take advantage of me, that would take, that maybe treat me like my ex-stepmom would treat me, or I would attract people that weren't choosing me because it felt very safe and familiar to childhood. Because I felt like I had, my parents were going through stuff and I felt emotionally abandoned growing up. And I then felt like there's something wrong with me. This a lot of times too is rooted in an emotion that keeps us in lower vibration. It's called shame. Shame is a belief that says, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. And many of us growing up, if we felt abandoned, when a parent left emotionally or physically, we literally started to give it meaning and we started to feel, I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough. Why did mom and dad divorce? See, as adults, we understand, we look at that and we're like, oh, well, of course they divorced 'cause they weren't compatible, blah, blah, blah. But as a little kid, when I was 5, I was not thinking, well, mom has her stuff and dad has his stuff and I just, I totally get it. As a kid, we're like, oh, mom and dad are doing this. Maybe I could fix this. Maybe I could be good enough. Maybe I could do something and make and get it so that they stay together. But you see, that's the thing is then we start losing our own sense of gravity because we're afraid of being abandoned. We're afraid someone's going to leave us. But the thing to realize is, and one of the biggest game changers you'll realize if you tap into this, is that we abandon ourselves to then accommodate other people initially. So the initial abandonment has already happened because we stopped being the real us. And one of the things that makes you irresistible is you being the real you unapologetically. Boldly, just giving yourself permission to be that real you. Now, I will encourage you to look at this though. You might think that the people pleaser, nice guy, if that's inside of you, that you might think that is the real you. My dad is convinced that that is who he is. I am the nice guy. It's just, I believe, you know, that this is the way reality is. And I'm like, you know, like I can just, I can clearly see from the outside looking in that my dad's been through a lot of pain because, there's aspects that you can still be nice. There's a difference between being nice and being kind. If you're being kind, it's because it's an end of itself. You're being kind is because it's who you are. If you're being nice, it's softening something up because you want other people to validate you, approve of you, not feel tension. There's a difference there. One's attachment to outcome. And that's another thing that makes you irresistible. When you are not attached to outcome. You are being yourself because it's who you are. You're not being yourself because it's what, you know, you're gonna attract the most amazing relationship or keep them around. The key to this is tapping into your inner virtues, your inner values, and saying like, I am going to be me. And it's funny because if you study, like, I know for a while, years ago, I was looking into the dating niche and like, you know, how to, you know, the confidence niche and stuff like that. And there was this whole thing around, well, it is true, the answer to you being attractive is to be yourself. What the hell does that mean? What does it mean to be yourself? What do you mean be yourself? What am I, if I'm being a needy little chode, am I supposed to just be myself? But it's realizing that you aren't that. That's just a mechanism that was created as a defense mechanism to keep you from being awesome. You're afraid that people are gonna like you. You're afraid of what you're gonna do with that. So you say, okay, I'm gonna define myself as this needy person, but you aren't, that's not part of your identity. That's not who you really are. So one of the things you wanna do is you wanna stop abandoning yourself and you wanna start being the real you. You will be irresistible when you start doing that and you just start owning it too. This is a side note, but irresistible energy, I'm realizing when I look at my own videos, you know, I've made thousands of videos on YouTube. But what I'm realizing is I've been looking, I've been looking and I've been looking for my central core message for like the last 2 or 3 months before I move into live events. I do my first live event in May, whenever that is, when, I don't know when this episode's coming out, but I've been meaning to do this, but I've been waiting for my main message. But one of the things I've realized is that this whole entire time it's been right in front of my face. I just haven't given myself permission to own it. And it's the content that I love sharing. Raising and elevating your consciousness, raising your vibration. I thought for a long time, this is very esoteric. This is very weird to the mass, to normal people. So I don't, I wanna share that. Maybe I'll just talk about letting go. Maybe I'll talk about, maybe I'll talk about just this or this level of manifestation. But I'm realizing if I just own it, it's a different energy. If I just do it and it is really who I am to be sharing that kind of information. And I looked at my old videos that like I was most in the flow state. It's when I'm talking about consciousness and vibration Yes, this last year I've gone more into my shadow than ever before. So I think that maybe that like vulnerability resonated with some people, but I like talking about that consciousness and raising vibration stuff. And I just haven't given myself permission to own it. But now that I'm owning it, my guess, my hypothesis is that things are just gonna be changing and I'm gonna be more in my own energy and my energy will be different. So the thing that I'd like to encourage you to do is to give yourself permission to own it. Give yourself permission to stop abandoning yourself and start asking yourself, what do I wanna do? Who am I? And realize that the shame that you may have felt when you were a kid, the belief that I'm broken because your parents divorced, because your mom and your dad checked out, you felt like your needs weren't met, whatever it is, realize they were going through their own stuff, but that's their stuff, not yours. And it doesn't mean you're broken. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It really isn't. And when you realize it's not your fault, you start to take your power back. I realized it wasn't my fault that I felt emotionally abandoned when I was a kid. And then I started tapping into, like, to attract love, the other thing that I did is I started to open my heart. I know that sounds like some of these things, like being yourself and opening your heart, it sounds so abstract, but it is so what I did. I started opening up my heart because I realized that part of me attracting certain type of relationships was because I was emotionally unavailable. So I would choose people that weren't really choosing me to reflect that in myself. And what I had to do is I had to let go of that and I had to start opening my heart and being vulnerable because the nice guy or the people pleaser, they aren't vulnerable. They're afraid to show their true colors. They're afraid to show that they have desire. They're afraid to show that they're sexually attracted to someone. They're afraid to show, and to set boundaries with someone because they don't wanna feel rejected. But remember the initial rejection, the initial abandonment already happened back in the day. It happened when we decided that we're not enough, we're not good enough, there's something broken with us. So even when we look at the words, here's a cool thing. When I'm looking at Google right now, it's like, what is the definition of irresistible? What is the definition of irresistible? And it means, it means so attractive that people like can't resist. Irresistible. There was actually, there was a better definition. Irresistible meaning. I wanna show you guys because this makes, too attractive and tempting to be resisted. Or another definition, if a person irresistible, is irresistible, it means they are so good or attractive that you cannot stop yourself from liking or wanting them. Now remember, the thing is, if you are displaying toxic dramatic energy, that may be very attractive to a certain type of person. Because, or the manipulation stuff where it's like, I'm going to smile and do this body language thing and do this NLP thing, and then I'm gonna be attractive. But those things, it's a core thing. It's a core emotion that you're putting out. And the core emotion that you wanna put out is you being the real you. So, and think about this, people feel what you feel. So the more resistance you let go of inside of your body, the more irresistible you will become because people feel what you feel. And any resistance that we feel to us being the real us is what is holding us back from being the person that we came here to be. And irresistible energy is non-apologetic, Irresistible energy is being itself because it's an end of itself. So the key to this is really becoming aware of what are you feeling inside of your body? You guys, okay, so here's one thing I'm gonna do. I'm going to look at this, okay. What was it? So I was gonna read some of these out there. I thought there was another one I was gonna read. 5 sexy things that make you irresistible. Are you guys ready for this? 5 things, okay? So the first, I just found this article online. It says humor is sexy. Humor is attractive to men and women, but not in the same way. Research shows that women like men who make them laugh and men like women who laugh at their jokes. It's kind of funny. So men just want, men wanna feel appreciated and I think they wanna feel appreciated. So if someone is, and I can attest to this. I like it when Heather laughs at my jokes, okay? I'm not gonna lie about that. I also like when she's, you know, she's funny and stuff. So it's like, it like balances out. But I could tell that, I could tell why that might be true. Now, one thing that it talks about though, is when with this energy dynamic, it talks about how when you are being funny, it's like, it's almost insinuating that what you should do is be funny because then you will be more attractive. That is not what you wanna do because that is manipulation. That is trying to be. Instead, you realize you are already, there's parts of yourself that are already humorous. And if you say that's not true, then it's because you've defined yourself and you've cut off the part of yourself that gives yourself permission to be funny. Because anytime you make a joke or something, you're putting yourself out there and you don't wanna get rejected or feel abandoned. So one of the things, but like it's saying things like how to be more likable is what you could do is laugh more at people's jokes. If you're a woman and you laugh more at people's jokes, you're gonna be more attractive. And if you're a guy, just tell more jokes and try to be more funny. Once again, you wanna be aware of the energy from which this is coming from. This is true probably that the, that, but here's the energy behind being humorous is normally you take life in a lighter way. Things aren't so damn serious. So one of the things you wanna look at here is are you giving yourself permission to be light, to have fun? Because it is true that people that have more fun are more attractive. People that are joking around more do appear to be more attractive. People that smile more are more attractive. But the thing is, is loosen up the energy on the inside instead of focusing on doing it to get something else. You want this to be an end of itself. So that's the second thing that makes you irresistible is when you are lightening up and being in your own frame. Being in your own frame and focusing on how you feel in your body. Because remember, to be irresistible, which means there's no resistance in your body, when you are laughing, is there resistance in your body? When you're being funny, when you go to like a comedy show, it's like there's a lot of resistance is relief, I think. I think that's the way a lot of people go to comedy shows and stuff is 'cause when they go, they feel a big relief. They feel like really, like lighter, they're having fun. I know when I laugh a lot, there's not a lot of resistance in my body. And guess what? When I'm laughing, when I'm having fun, I'm not feeling resistance. People feel what you feel. So guess what? Energy's more attractive. So one thing you wanna do is loosen up, have more fun, but don't have fun because it's gonna get you the chick or the guy. If you just have more, do it because it's who you are and you prefer to have fun. You see, it's the energy from which this comes from that makes you irresistible. Irresistible, no resistance. Where people have no resistance and they're just attracted to you. They just feel your energy. They're magnetized to you like a magnet. But remember, if you are putting out stuff and you're being toxic and drama, You might be irresistible to certain people, but it might not be the people that long-term, it might just drain your energy. Being honest. It might drain your energy. And it might though be kind of addictive in a way. There are people that maybe they, I know like even when Heather and I were getting into relationship and stuff, I remember I could tell that I was used to like a cat and mouse game. And I had to like look at myself and start becoming emotionally available. It's kind of hard. I had to look at myself in like a completely new way. But there's one thing that if you look at within yourself, you could start to open up your heart and make that choice. It really is a choice too. And one of the other parts of this too is realize you being the real you is irresistible. So just own it. Just be you. It's just giving yourself permission to be something that you already are. And if you don't think you're funny, it's only because you think you're not funny that you're not funny. If you change that definition, you would then be funny. It's just, we put this little straitjacket around us and we say to ourselves, I'm not like, we affirm these things to ourself and then we don't give ourselves permission to tap into it. But it's funny, have you ever seen people that drink and maybe they're shy introverts and then they drink and all of a sudden they're like really extroverted and loud? All they did is there was a substance that was put into their body that gave them permission gave them permission, the liquid courage to be another aspect of themself. That's it. So the thing that you wanna look at here is you want to drink a lot of alcohol and you will be more attractive. Just kidding. That is not what we are trying to do here. But it's funny though, because people, there will be people that maybe see people that are loose from drinking that then they're like, oh, that's more attractive. So maybe I should drink and then be more attractive. But there's so many negative side effects of drinking alcohol. Just gonna be honest with you. Fucks up your sleep, your focus, hazy. It's just not good. Maybe that's my limiting belief. Not that you can't do any things in moderation, but I'm just saying in general, you don't wanna do, remember, it's not what you do, but it's how you do it. I remember Abraham Hicks as well has said like, "Well, it depends on the energy of how you feel about the alcohol." You know, like if you're just doing it every now and then, but you don't feel guilty about it and you're not using it as a crutch and stuff, like then maybe it is powerful, but it's the energy it's coming from that counts. Just like being nice, I don't think being nice really is attractive. Being kind might be attractive. Being nice is manipulation. So what we wanna do is we wanna focus and we wanna be honest with ourselves for this. So here is this to recap so far. The next thing I think is the most important thing, but to recap so far, irresistible energy comes from you just making the choice to be you, not attached to outcome. Realize that sometimes also being you will be polarizing to some people that don't resonate with it. That's okay. You are giving people a choice to decide if they really mess with you or not. And if not, you saved yourself some time. Just realize that. But when I started being the more real me, the more unapologetic me, the more bold me, it was more polarizing, even for YouTube, like people on my YouTube channel comments, like, it's okay. But I'm also, by being the real me, I feel better. I'm in my body more. I feel more in my own frame. So remember, people feel what you feel. The more you give yourself permission to be yourself, the more there's less resistance in your body, the more irresistible you'll be to other people. And like we said, the meaning of irresistible is it's too attractive or tempted to be resisted. How can they resist you when you're not feeling resistance in your body and people feel what you feel about you? And if they do resist you, then there's probably, that's on them. That's their stuff, not yours. Just like your mama and your dada's stuff growing up, if they're emotionally unavailable, that was their stuff, not yours. We don't have to assume, we don't have to internalize someone else's likability if they like you or not. It's instead, it's focused on inside, it's focused on energy. All attraction is, by the way, is an energy game. I have seen, and it sounds judgmental when I say this, but I mean, I have friends, I grew up with a guy that was like really good, really attractive to a lot of chicks, and he was always really good in that department. And he was, he still is, he's funny. He's not attached to outcome. He's just being his goofy self. And when I used to work with this guy that would just date, not to be all about looks or stereotypical about this, but it's like this guy would date like models and stuff like that. And you would like, from the superficiality side of it, people on the inside looking like, what is, how's this guy doing that? 'Cause it just didn't look like he'd be able to do that. He was just being himself. He was being himself and he was unapologetic and he was somewhat polarizing and he wasn't attached to outcome and he was having fun and he was goofy and he had a good sense of humor and all of that. And that's what it came down to. And he probably didn't have self-worthiness blocks to where he rated himself and said, I'm not worthy of that. You can attract any type of love that you want and understand that it's not all about, it's energy more than anything else. So, you know, you don't wanna be superficial, only attract people based on their looks. There needs to be that substance of like the emotion on the inside and the connection. But that's the thing that you wanna become aware of is just what is your energy? Are you feeling resistance in your energy? And you will be more irresistible when you are just being the real you. And one of the ways you become even more irresistible is you let go of the abandonment wound that you may have from childhood and you stop abandoning yourself. Now, the third and the most powerful way for you to become irresistible is for you to become clear as your values and to be living in accordance to that and vulnerability. That's what I'm gonna say about this because here's the thing, we and our identity is shaped on the values that we have. For a long time, I didn't wanna, I was like, "Beliefs create reality." But the beliefs that create reality are the values and the virtues we live by. So if we live by the values that say, I really value what other people think of me, I really value other people's validation, I really value feeling special and significant, then our life, if that's our top values, because as a kid we had trauma, so it's like we're seeking those things, then we will attract people that are at that level that also value those things, but also will be afraid of showing the vulnerable parts of ourselves. And the vulnerable parts of ourselves are the real parts of ourselves. So for me, I had to become aware, even getting on YouTube, something that fueled me in the beginning of making YouTube videos was I wanted the approval and validation of everyone that watched me. If you liked my videos, if you gave me validation, if I added so much value to you, I'd become indispensable. I'd be your rescuer. It's like a personality construct where it's like I get value out of rescuing other people. I'd even do that in love dynamics. I'd wanna rescue, you know, people I was dating and stuff like that. And then I'd become irresistible because it was, I felt like I didn't wanna be abandoned and that's why I did that. But then what happened is I had a goal for so long. Once I get to a million subscribers on YouTube and I get that plaque right back there, once I get that plaque, I will finally be good enough. And that was an energy from childhood probably where I wanted to feel significant and special. But then what happened is I got that and I realized it feels pretty much the same. I should probably look at this stuff inside of me of why I feel like I'm not good enough. And as I did, I started to rearrange my values. This is when I looked at the nice guy thing. The nice guys always value people's validation pretty much over everyone else's. I had to become aware of what these energies were that I was tying myself to. And I had to make new choices about who I was. And all you have to do to do this, by the way, is bring it into your awareness. What do I value more than anything else? Do I value other people's approval? Do I value feeling special? The 6 human needs that Tony Robbins talks a lot about is it's certainty, uncertainty, connection, growth, significance, and contribution. Those are the 6 human needs. Now, all of us have these in different orders. Some people, me back in the day especially, I'll be the first to admit, I probably valued significance over all of them and certainty. I'm a control freak. I like to control things. I like to control my life and know where everything's going. But then I had to like realize, oh, some of these needs become too excessive. And then what happens is, you know, if your top value is control or certainty, you might find that it's challenging to attract love because you're trying to control the dynamics and you can't control something like relationships. So I had to become aware of these different things and I had to let go. I had to let go of the different perspectives that I had. I had to let go of the childhood trauma. I had to let go of my old values and I had to make a choice to be vulnerable. Now think about this. This was a game changer for me as well. The nice guy, the people pleaser, the reason they're doing the nice stuff is because they're ashamed that someone's gonna find out who they really are. They're afraid that if they actually express what they really think about someone, that they're gonna get rejected. So it's like, let me just be nice. Hahaha. And for me to attract love, this was the key. And for me to be irresistible was to be vulnerable, to actually express my desires, to actually express my feelings, what I'm thinking. Now it doesn't mean necessarily that I'm going around like, oh, I'm just so crying, I'm tired. It's not like that necessarily, but it's mean like there's times that like I'm almost afraid to express what I'm really feeling. And then I'd become aware of that and I would just express what I'm really thinking like, oh, Even just like if something was happening even with a friend and I thought like maybe a friend was doing something that I wasn't agreeing with or that I felt like I was sacrificing myself to do something. Like, you know what, dude, I don't think, I don't really want, I'm not gonna, I don't wanna do that. I'm just feeling like if I do that, then I'm extending myself too much. So I would draw a boundary. Or even like when I first met Heather, I was very clear with her on our first time meeting that like, oh, "My intention with you, I'm attracted to you. My intention with you is dating you." And I led. And because I led, there was more polarity there. And there is polarity because I established from the beginning a sense of leading and being vulnerable. I wasn't, back in the day, the nice guy and the people pleaser thing, it's like almost like I'm afraid to show that I have like, you know, that I had sexual desire. Be like, "Oh, I just gotta be their friend," and stuff like that. But then it depolarizes shit. So one of the things you wanna do to be irresistible is to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is the cure to shame because shame does not wanna be seen. Vulnerable is putting the real you out there. Go over to that guy or that girl over there and ask them out and be vulnerable and say, "Hey, I'm attracted to you." And if they reject you, don't internalize it and say, "It's 'cause I'm not worthy. It's 'cause I'm not good enough." It just is a neutral situation. But you had the courage to do that. And you having the courage to do these kind of things is so damn attractive. You having the courage to put yourself out there in a new way is so damn attractive. You having that courage and you letting go of those aspects of yourself will make you more irresistible than anything else. Now, I do also have 5 secrets to letting go that will make you attractive AF. Letting go of these things really is the key to you elevating your frequency and being the most attractive version of you. If you haven't checked out that video yet, check it out right here. It's one of my most powerful videos. And I think it will really change your life. The less attached you are, the more attractive you are. People are attracted to somebody that is in their own frame and doesn't need something from them.