3 Things to do Instead of Chasing Love and Relationships (they will chase you)

Imagine that you're chasing a butterfly and as you try to chase it, it keeps fluttering around. But if you were to just relax, you might find that the butterfly perches itself right on your shoulder. Welcome back to another video. My name's Aaron Doughty. I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm going to be sharing with you the 3 things to do instead of chasing love or relationships. This is a video series that I've been doing. On stop chasing and what to do instead, I thought I'd do a whole video on 3 things you can practically do instead of chasing that make and have them actually chase you. This changes the energy dynamic and helps it so that then the cards work in your favor. Now, when it comes to this process, let's first off, let's get right into it. The first part of this process of when we're chasing, when we're chasing, we are implying that the other person is running. So what if the only reason they're chasing us, or we're chasing them, is because we believe that they're running? We believe that they're in a way trying to get away. What if we switch the frame in our mind and instead of sawing us as chasing them, instead of seeing it as like you, you want something from someone else, what if you were to switch up the frame and Now, that's why the first thing that I recommend you do, you actually do to stop chasing and have them chase you, is to completely let go of the outcome. Let go of outcome. Because when you are attached to the outcome, they can feel that. They can energetically feel that. If you're, "I really, really hope and please do this," and it's almost like in a way when you're around them, what you then do is you then put it on a pedestal. And when you're around them, you then start to feel more and more resistance because you're hoping in your mind, oh, I hope this goes this way, I hope it goes that way. And they can feel that. And when they feel that, they then feel the resistance and they don't know if that resistance is from you or from them. They just feel it. People feel what you feel. And when you're attached to the outcome and trying to control it, What ends up happening is there's resistance involved. So then it becomes something that is contagious and actually holds them back from finding you attractive. Now in my own life, I felt this at any time I have been in it, even just beyond just chasing love or relationships. If it was me trying, intending to attract something in my life, the more I try to control it, the more resistance I make, and it's almost like the more rules I have about it, the more that gets reflected back to me in reality. If I'm like, oh, I really hope this person shows up on time, and I'm like thinking about it, thinking about it, thinking about it, it normally will end up to where maybe that person is late. This is just a small example, but in the same way, if I just let go of it, many times I'll let go of it and then I'll get the text that's like, oh, I'm almost there, or I'll let go of it and then energetically it's like then reality can reflect that back. Of what we want. But the key to this process is understand letting go of outcome. And when you let go of outcome, it changes. I shared in my other video on stop chasing, I'll go ahead and link that below as well on the stop chasing love and relationships video. I talk about how one of my first girlfriends when I was in high school, I really liked and I really put on a pedestal and I was, things were going well and then she kind of started to withdraw from me But then what I did is I just completely let go and I started to have fun. So the caveat to letting go of the outcome is focus on fun. And I know it sounds like something you might not wanna do if you're really, really heady about somebody, but I'll tell you what, when you start having fun, it changes your state. They feel what you feel. And in this weird way, think about it like this. You have an energetic field around your body. And when people think of you, they feel what's in your energetic field. When you think of them, you're sending them energy, even subconsciously. Now, if you're always feeling needy of the outcome, they're gonna feel that off of you. When you start to let go and have fun, that's when they start to feel it. And then what I explained in the other video is I had an ex-girlfriend who I, who I really liked and always wanted to talk to, and she wasn't— I was into her more than she was into me. And when it ended up happening, is I eventually was just starting to get more friends in high school because I came out of the whole stepmom situation where my brother and I had no freedom. And then I start becoming friends with other groups. And then there was this one group of friends I started to have a lot of fun with. And then I started to almost forget about her. I was like, okay, I don't, I don't need this. And I saw she wasn't even treating me the way that I believed I deserved. So what happened is all of a sudden she's calling me and for 2 weeks straight, she's like telling me she wants me back and all of this stuff. And I've already moved on to a new friend group, and there was a girl within that friend group that I was also talking to. So it was like I phased it out. But when I let go of outcome, she felt that, and then I was also having fun, and I was no longer needy or trying to desperately control the outcome. So this is the important part of the process that really changes a lot, and it's not the thing you want to hear, but if you let go of it and you focus on having fun, focus on being with your friends, focus on yourself, you'll find that then what happens is your increased state of being happens, and then they can feel that on you, and it ends up working in your favor. Now, the second thing to do instead of chasing love and relationships is looking at your self-image. This is some of the most powerful work you can do. Now, let me use this example real quick. Imagine that you see yourself on a scale of 1 to 10— this is going to sound superficial— But imagine you see yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 as like a 5, and imagine that this person you want, you're chasing, this person you want to be with, you view them in your mind as like a 9 or a 10, 9.5, let's say that. Well, because your self-image is a 5 and they are 9.5, they're going to feel that you believe they are way better than you are energetically, vibrationally. Now the key to this isn't to see you as a 10 and them as a 5. The key is to get rid of this whole idea of having a self-image that is less than them and realize that everyone, everyone is connected and everyone is on the same playing field. So what is your self-image? If you view yourself as a 5 out of 10, then other people will feel that you view yourself as not so worthy. So the key to this as well is realizing when you aren't trying to chase someone, you should or can become the most attractive version of you. And when you do that, you will have a certain self-image that has a certain level of power. I believe that a lot of times when you're doing what you love, this really helps as well. So for this, the key is is imagining what this per— okay, this is gonna be an analogy, but this isn't what it looks like I'm trying to say. What if you became the kind of person that that person would be attracted to? Okay, it's not what you think, but think about that. Developing the qualities, the kind of personality that the other person would be attracted to, the person you're chasing, because that's what they're attracted to. 'Cause most people are just trying to, are trying to, and a lot of times people are trying to be the way they think this person wants them to be. That's actually not the key because then that shows that you're always within their frame of reality. The key to this is becoming the star of your own movie and developing your own gravity and stop trying to be the cameo in anyone else's movie. There's a saying, That if you treat someone like a celebrity, they'll treat you like a fan. Think of the energy exchange there. Oh, I hope that you really like me. I'm doing everything you really want me to do. And then they'll treat you like you're their servant or something like that. But if you have your own gravity, that's what's attractive. I'll tell you now, when I said it's not what it seems, when I say that, what I'm really telling you to do is that you will become the most attractive version of you when you are just being yourself, not trying to conform to this person you're chasing's idea, not trying to conform to anyone else's idea. Be yourself. And I know it sounds cliché, but when you develop your own gravity, whatever that is, if you eat a certain type of food that you love, if you like certain type of music and you're worried people will judge you, just own it. People respect people that are just being themselves unapologetically. That's the most attractive thing. And if you want this person you're trying to chase to be attracted to, develop your own gravity and be you because you choose to be you, not because it'll get them on your team or start to like you. But the key to this is linking up your self-image and understanding that the more you do that, the more things really begin to change for you. Now, the final part is a very important part of this process. It's one a lot of people don't think of. What is— looks like a tough one. What is your story about relationships? This is the thing that you really wanna focus on. What is your story about relationships? Everyone has a story. Maybe your story is that I always end up chasing people, all the good ones are taken, I'm this age, I'm this age, I know some people that, I know some girls that I went to high school with, they're a certain age right now, they think there's this pressure for them to get married and have kids 'cause they feel like their time is running out. What is your story? Because the story's gonna dictate how you feel. And if your story is that you're trying to conform to someone else, and you might even have a story that you're chasing someone else, that you want to be in someone else's life, that you wanna be the cameo in their movie. But what if you were to change the story? What if you were to change the character that you're portraying? Because right now you might, you might be portraying a character that's chasing someone else for love and relationships. That character is not really you. That's something that you thought you had to be in order to be loved. One of the most common, the most common limiting belief in the world is that people believe they are not enough. People believe they're not worthy. And the story we tell ourselves about relationships and how we relate to other people will have a very strong indication of how people respond to us. So the first step to this process, number 3, is become aware of your story. When you become aware of your story, that's when you can actually change it. And can you change the character in your story, the character you are being? Because if you're chasing someone else, then most likely you're not embodying the 100% real you. And that begins with you choosing to be you, develop your own gravity and owning it. Just own who you are. Realize you are a catch. You're somebody that somebody out there is going to love to be with. And if you would embody that energy, you would be so attractive that it would just have people wanting to be around you. It would have people wanting to talk to you, and it has to do with with your story around relationships. There's this one girl, I've told this story in the other one as well, so it might be repetitive, but there's this girl I used to work with at Nordstrom's, and she told me that anytime she got into relationship, when she was in a relationship or starting to date someone, she would then get hit on by like 8 dudes in a week. She never got hit on other than that. It's 'cause she was then feeling that self-love. It's almost like she had someone in her life and she felt loved, she felt appreciated, she felt attractive. Because the rules in her mind said that once she had someone in her life, she could then feel that way, and then other people could feel off her energy, and then they would be attracted to her, and they would hit on her 8 times in a week when normally it would happen 8 times in a year. Why is that? Because the energy changed. She may also have a story that once that happens, then she can feel that self-love. So what is your story about when you can feel worthy? What is your story about when you can love yourself? I'll tell you right now that when you stop chasing love, relationships, when you stop chasing it like that butterfly analogy, you might find that then it just comes and perches itself right on your shoulder because you've relaxed. Relax, have fun, understand that this process is easier than you think when you begin to apply it. Now there's an Attract Love playlist I'm gonna put right here that will help wire you for seeing this in a completely different way. This will help wire you. Also, there's an attract love meditation that's in there that I'll link below. So many people say that they've attracted love into their life because of listening to that meditation. Read the comments to see what's possible. That'll be linked below. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this video. Peace, much love, and namaste.