3 Things You MUST Let Go of to be Magnetic AF

Aaron Doughty identifies three blocks to personal magnetism: dependence on approval and substances, seeking external validation, and playing a supporting role in others' lives instead of your own. He shares how quitting smoking and drinking shifted his clarity and confidence, and argues that setting boundaries and becoming the star of your own story attracts emotionally available people.
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So in this video, I'm gonna show you the 3 things that if you let go of will make your energy so much more magnetic. And it's really just about flipping the switch on this process of understanding your own energy. And I'm gonna show you exactly what to let go of that will then change everything. Now, the first one I wanna share with you is one that many people, including myself, I've had active for a while and I had to completely ditch this energy. I had to let it go. and that energy is the energy of codependency. Now codependency is an energy that is very needy. Codependency is something and an energy that is very dependent on someone else's approval, on someone else's like energy, and because of that dependency, it is very repellent. So one of the things that you must let go of in order to have magnetic energy is codependency. Now, in one way as well, I'm gonna take this in a direction I haven't talked about in other videos, but it is a form of codependency that I think will make you so much more magnetic if you let go of it. And that is letting go of the codependency on not only people, but also substances. Now, the reason being is because when we are doing any type of substance, whether it is alcohol, some type of drug, even marijuana, it can be something that changes the state. But in many ways, I found, at least in my own life, because that was something that I did all day, every day. So I'm not saying that if you do it every now and then, it's like the end of the world. I'm just saying if it's something you do all day, every single day, like I did back in 2011, 2012, it was something that was very much dimming my potency. Now, when I look at big triggers that really changed my life as well, I can see that when I quit smoking and drinking, there was a huge uptick in my life of going on a different, going on a more optimal path. And I really believe just through having friends and seeing people in my own life that have smoked a lot of cannabis or drinking a lot, that there's an effect it has where it kind of, it can be a very much a numbing agent that kind of escapes being more present. And one of the most magnetic things is to really be emotionally and physically present. And when the energy is diffused, when those substances are taken, the energy is diffused and in a way dull, it becomes more dull. And I know for a long time though, I told myself a different story. I was like, no, it's so good for me. It does this, it does that. And I think in some ways it could be a healing agent for many people, but I had to be honest with myself because I could tell that I was more so doing it to escape a lot of my childhood pain and stuff like that. And I smoked all day, every day for like a year or two. And I remember like just going to, like I never smoked at work, but as soon as I got off work, I'd be smoking. And I remember at that time too, I felt a lot of like lack of clarity in my life where like that was before I found my purpose and I started like, taking action with making, not even, I mean, it was like 6 years later that I made YouTube videos, but like really got on the spiritual awakening path and I learned meditation, which really changed my life. But I look back and I can definitely see that like the energy of me smoking a lot was like keeping me in a certain bandwidth of experience. I would hang around other people that smoked all the time. I would just not really do that much. I'd just play basketball outside. Until like 2 in the morning. And it was something that kept me in that reality. And when it comes to potency, when it comes to magnetic energy, there's a level of emotional availability that when you let go of the codependency onto some type of substance, you regain a connection with yourself, you regain a connection to clarity, and it becomes more clear as to what you can do to create the success in your life or to, be more passionate. And I know many people that when they smoke or they drink, it lowers or dims their vibe. And even though for a period of time they're gonna be feeling an excess of dopamine, there's an effect that that has on them long-term that a lot of times it's like, oh, that thing, you know, not always, some people can smoke and have all the energy in the world, at least that's what they say. But some people when they smoke, they just become very much neutrality on the levels of consciousness. So they're very neutral. It's like things are just kind of— they're good the way they are, which isn't a bad thing to have, you know. I think sometimes maybe doing that can actually make you more, in a way, like, relaxed, and it can have a good purpose. But there are people that do it all day, every day, like I used to do. And when I quit, it completely changed my level of potency. And it kind of sucked for a while. I remember quitting, and for like 2 or 3 weeks, reality felt very different. It felt very weird 'cause I was used to having this thing that I do that immediately creates certainty and then it like immediately helps me feel a different way. But one of the most magnetic things is to be able to draw state from within, to not need a substance, to not need alcohol or cannabis or other substances to change your state. And that will instantly make you more magnetic because you won't be codependent on these other things. There's also a confidence that comes with that too, because then you know that you can create the change and the state from within. So when I quit, I remember it completely transformed my life. It was a very sad thing too, in a way. I felt like I was literally breaking up with cannabis because you developed this like emotional connection with the plant. And that's what happened to me for like a year or two. And then I quit. And I remember when I quit, I've told this story once or twice before, but basically what happened is some of my good friends in Vegas, they owned one of the best smoke shops in Vegas. And I went and I got a bong, this glass bong, and I brought it home and I knew that I was getting like this inspiration or this feeling that I should quit, like intuitively. But I was so rigid on like, no, it's good for me, there's no reason to quit. I could still do it. And then what happened is I got this bong for like $300, which is a lot of money back then to me. And I took it home and I smoked. And the one bowl that I took out of it, I hit it. And as I breathed out, I just started bawling and crying because I knew that that was my last hit I was gonna take for a long time. And in that moment, something weird also and metaphysical kind of happened too. I had like almost a flash, flashes of how I made every single person feel when I was smoking. And I could feel how I made my dad feel when I went over to my dad's house with my sisters, hung out with him, and he just knew I was blitzed outta my mind. A lot of it was self-infused guilt. It wasn't like, you know, I don't think that there's like this horrible karma people create when they smoke. However, I also felt how I made my ex-girlfriend feel who like didn't like that I smoked all the time and thought that I wasn't like present with her 'cause I was smoking so much. And I could feel how she felt and I just, I felt how so many different people in my life felt. And then it was like a very much a clearing of that karma. And from that point going forward, my whole entire life changed because I quit. And I know many people as well that have quit and it has completely transformed their lives. I know because of these challenges I do and these like, I have other videos where I talk about why I quit smoking weed and people's lives completely transform when they quit. And it's so cool to see because that's sometimes why I share my story, even though I know some people won't like hearing it. When I used to smoke, If I heard somebody else talking like this, I'd be like, no, I wouldn't even listen to this far into the video. So anyways, letting go allows you to raise and elevate your vibration to be more magnetic because even think about it, on the scale of consciousness, we have shame, fear, guilt, anger, neutrality, and then eventually like love, joy, peace, enlightenment. Cannabis resonates at like 250. Which is like neutrality, which is, you know, higher than alcohol, which is 200, the level of courage. It's what they call it liquid courage. That's one of the synchronicities there. But when you let go, you naturally raise your vibration. Every one of you listening to this video, your vibration is naturally meant to be higher once you do the work and you let go of these things. So that's one thing that really transformed my life is letting go of substances. It makes you more attractive. Now, the second thing to let go of is similar to codependency in a way, but it's letting go of needing other people's validation and approval, needing people's validation and approval. Because when we are attached to these things and we value these things, it's like we devalue ourselves. We devalue what we think. We devalue what we feel. And for a long time in my own relationships, what I would do is I would put someone else on a pedestal and I would value their approval. I would value their validation. And I would also get value and validation out of helping fix them or helping them in their life in some way. Like, it's like I didn't feel just like I could just be me. I had to help them in order to just consider to be valuable. And I think that some of that is the people pleaser mentality that a lot of empaths have because empaths and people pleasers feel that your emotion is my emotion because they can so clearly feel other people's emotion. So it's like I need to help them not feel tension. I need to help them feel good. The challenge is that then as an empath, you then don't feel safe unless everyone in your life feels good, which can be very challenging because you don't always, you don't have control over how someone else feels. So one of the most attractive things you could do is to actually pull your energy back from wanting people's validation and approval and pull your energy back to yourself and ask yourself the questions like, what do I value? What is fun for me to do? What boundaries can I set? 'Cause I will say as well, setting boundaries is one of the most attractive things you can do because when you set boundaries and you say, this is okay, this is not okay, It's saying I'm valuable, I value myself, I'm worthy. And when I learned how to set boundaries, that completely changed my energy 'cause it was so hard for me to set boundaries. I'd have to say yes to things I didn't do because I thought I had to say yes. And then I started to say no. And when you start saying no to things you don't wanna do, you feel so empowered. You're like, wait, I can say no to doing something I don't wanna do and not give an explanation. Remember specifically there was one time somebody in Sedona reached out to me and said, hey, come to this, come to this like community get-together at someone's house. And I was at the moment, I was feeling like I don't wanna go. And I said, normally I would've responded to that text and I would've said, I'm picking up someone from the Flagstaff airport, I'm doing, I would've lied and said things that weren't true, which would've decreased my sense of confidence because I wouldn't have been living in integrity. And I would've had to come up with some excuse. But then eventually I woke up to this and as I was getting ready to send that text message, I decided, you know what, I'm just gonna tell the truth. Actually, I'm not even gonna say why. So I said, no thanks for the invite, but I'm not coming. That was it. Thanks for the invite. Like, I appreciate you inviting me, but no thank you. And you could say no thank you to someone else without saying an excuse or a reason. And I learned how to do that. And then even after that, this person was like, "Oh, it'll be fun though. There's gonna be burgers and this and that." And I was like, I don't even remember what I said, but I did not say, "Oh, well, no, I have to pick up my mom from the airport." Like I didn't make up some bullshit excuse. But being able to not need other people's validation or approval in life is very attractive and it is very magnetic. Now, the third thing to let go of and the third common thing that especially empaths and people pleasers do is they make somebody else the star of their own movie. And one of the most powerful and like attractive things you could do is be the star of your own movie. Don't try to be the cameo in anyone else's movie because that's not magnetic. That's not really you. Now here's the thing, you don't need to become the star of everyone's movie, that's called narcissism, to assume the whole world revolves around you, but your world and your word, you are the star of your own movie. So one thing I recommend is start becoming aware of what do you value? Because a lot of times we'll value validation, significance, and all these things over everything else just because we learned it growing up. But when we start to become aware of what do I value? And I was like, wait, I value vulnerability. Which is very attractive, by the way. If you're vulnerable and able to share with people authentically who you are, that is attractive. Authenticity. I value that over people's validation approval, which means I'm gonna be authentic. I'm gonna say things that I wanna say, even if not everybody likes it. Much more attractive, much more magnetic. So letting go of these things and then deciding and making the choice, who am I, then gives you like a compass of a way of being where you're then gonna attract people that are also vulnerable, that are also emotionally available, that are also authentic. Another thing that I chose to do is do my passion, like really live and embody my passion. And as I've done that, I only attract passionate people in my life. So that is something that as you do will completely transform Everything. Now, something I'm doing as well is I'm going to be doing this of a— if you text me your questions, I'm going to be answering them in future videos. So if you would like to, all you got to do is text me your question. So text me your question to 424-304-0104 or click the link in the description box. Text me your question. I'm going to be answering those in future videos. Also, I send out text messages like weekly about different high vibe ideas of the day and things like that. So that's something that you could do that will really help you. Also, 5 Secrets to Letting Go That Make You Attractive AF. Watch this video right here. It will change your life. Now, when we talk about you being attractive, understand that there's a belief there that, that kind of implies that you may really care what other people think of you. I know for a lot of you,










