Once you embrace being "BAD", they will CHASE YOU

I predict that if you were to embrace what is called your dark side, you would embrace a whole new level of magnetic energy. You would break patterns from the past, and you would find yourself not attached to outcome, feeling more expressive and more present than ever in your life. Now, many times what happens is we replay the mother-father-child dynamic in our life. The unresolved energy from childhood of who we had to be as a kid becomes something we play out in other areas of our life, whether it be our job, our business, our partners, our friendships, etc. And when we begin to embrace the other side of ourselves, of who we believe we're not allowed to be because of the energy from childhood, That's when we'll become magnetic. That's when we'll break the pattern. That's when we individuate from needing to fix, take on other people's emotions and energies, and etc. And in this video, I will show you step by step how to embrace the dark side of being a people pleaser, an empath who can feel other people's emotions and energies, a perfectionist, how to embrace the dark side of being hyper-independent. And I'm going to show you how this will completely transform your life from the inside out. I allow you to process the unprocessed energy from childhood and how from this point moving forward, you'll have a new value of vulnerability and authenticity in your life that brings to you deeper connections and repels away from you superficiality, which you don't need to control and which allows the process to be much more fun. This is a live Q&A that I did that took on a whole life of its own. As you can see, we brought props out to learn about inner child healing. I recommend you watch it all the way through, and I predict that if you do, you'll see that in a few months from now, your whole entire life is different as a result. What is the dark side to every empath, people pleaser, easygoing person? And why is it that when those people own their dark side, they become extraordinarily magnetic? They break through patterns that attract to them the opposite part of the pattern, which normally is people they feel they need to please. It's normally, uh, people that have a Uh, controlling frame as a natural reflection of the other side of the pattern. But if you were to imagine a magnet, and you know that a magnet has a very powerful attractive energy, but you also know that if you were to flip that sucker around, what happens? It repels. And what happens is people who are easygoing, people who are empaths that can feel other people's energies, and people who are considered people pleasers, they don't like it that there's a repelling side of it. They don't— they're not comfortable with repelling people. And therefore, what ends up happening is they end up negating their own dark side. And as a response, they abandon themselves to be good. So think of it like there is a subconscious energy there where there's an abandonment of self, and there's also normally a very powerful energy around a level of suppressed anger under the surface. That creates a rule that I can't be this certain way. I can't show the dark side. The dark side. I can't show the part of myself that as a kid wasn't allowed to be, so therefore I will be good. Which is why a lot of people that are nice, easygoing, nice guys, people pleasers, They abandon themselves every day. They don't like that they do it. They try to make everybody happy, which is a freaking burden, like a very heavy job. And at the same time, they actually reject people choosing them. You want to know why? If you're only being good, and if as a kid it was good to abandon yourself, And it was bad to be authentic, then you're not really being the real you. Now, let's flip it. Let's flip it on its head a little bit. You might think that it is good to please people. You might think it is good to overgive. You might think it is good to tune to other people. To know their tension. You might think it's good to be easygoing. But is it good to the self when you abandon yourself? Because you might think it's good for other people. But what's good for other people might be abandoning the self. So you're not really as good as you think, are you? I'm just trying to break you out of your pattern right now. You see, you have an identity that is subconsciously connected to being good, but it ain't so good to abandon you. It ain't even so good to be nice to other people because sometimes being nice to other people is actually bad. See, someone says, so how do you be good to yourself and keep the peace? That's the challenge. That question right there is the challenge. How do you be good to yourself and keep the peace? What if it's not your job to keep the peace? Keeping the peace is taking the responsibility into your hands Because there's uncomfortable energy around chaos. There might be uncomfortable energy around tension. And the challenge is you may be good to other people, good to other people because you think to be good means to abandon yourself, to be nice, etc. But in fact, that ain't so good to you. Do you see? So this is why owning your dark side may be one of the most powerful things you ever do. What I mean by this is you want to embrace being bad. It's going to feel bad to let people sit with tension. It's going to feel bad to not overgive or to tune to your— it'll literally feel selfish. And many people with this pattern feel selfish for choosing themselves. Feel selfish for not fixing other people. You see? Is this resonating? You guys connecting with what I'm saying right now? You guys see what I mean? So your energy— yeah, the dark side is connected to shadow work. It is connected to shadow work because The subconscious forces control our life and attract to us the people that are reflective of the circumstances and energy in our life that is unresolved from childhood. So what happens is if there's unresolved energy under the surface around tension from childhood, you will attract people into your life that bring that tension to you And you will continue to take it on. You will continue to tolerate it, and you'll continue to surround yourself with it because you may believe that this is what you deserve, or it may just feel familiar. Familiar. Family. Familiar. Familial. Almost the same word. You see? It feels familiar. It feels familiar. Yeah, the dark side is actually good. Now, here's what some of you are doing subconsciously too. This might be a complete breakthrough for some of you right now. By you— okay, so embracing your dark side is partially connected to committing to authenticity and vulnerability without needing to get something— the other people's approval or validation. Your North Star becomes authenticity and vulnerability. And at moments, it is authentic to have anger. It is authentic to express yourself. That authenticity is what in your life will attract certain people in your life and repel away the superficial energy as well. Now let me show you something that you might think of as good that's actually bad, where people that, uh, are people pleasers, overgivers, empaths say, I don't like tension. Really? You don't like tension? You don't like tension? You don't like to watch really dark crime mysteries on Netflix? You don't— you're not attracted to certain type of, uh, Certain types of people that maybe have that, maybe a little bit more an aversion to— not aversion, but an expression of that anger on the other side. And if you do have that and you say, I'm not good with tension, you subconsciously like tension so much, you carry it around with you on the inside everywhere you go, and you think it's your responsibility to manage it for other people. You love tension. You consciously say, no, I don't. I don't like it. You will— until you fall in love with tension, you will attract people into your life to reflect back and bring that tension out of you. I wish I had like a little figure to show you or something. Like, if I were to grab this, this chess piece here. We're gonna do a little thing real quick. Here we go. If you were to imagine these chess pieces for a moment and you were to imagine that inside of your body there is unresolved energy from childhood, you could have this represent your inner child, okay? You could have the knight that wants to protect the inner child, which might be another part of you. But what happens is if there's unresolved stuff from childhood, That will be subconsciously on the inside and it wants to be healed from childhood. Okay? So, you go out into the world. This is a part of you that's right behind you. This inner child that maybe as a kid, it was your responsibility to ease the tension in the family. So, you think like the king and the queen, these represent mom and dad, right? This is why everything I do, by the way, everything I teach really comes back to the mother-father-child triad. The way in which you made it— you related to dad, the way in which you related to mom became your way of relating to masculine and feminine energy, your way of relating to boundaries, your way of relating to your sense of how you relate to relationships. Your mom represents your relationship to relationships. She was your first relationship. Your dad, purpose, boundaries. Your— like the way the abundance many times. And of course, some parents can carry different energies. So sometimes you may have had a more feminine dad, masculine mom, whatever it is. Regardless, you are subconsciously forming your sense of self and how you relate to other people based on how you related to mom and dad. Now what happens Is if there's unresolved energy between you and mom and dad, you will go out into the world and you will replay this energy dynamic out with other people. Because subconsciously in your nervous system, you are looking to resolve. Our psyche is looking to resolve the unmet wounds from childhood. So, this is why inner child healing is so powerful. This is why forgiveness is so powerful. This is why also owning the dark side is so powerful because who you're afraid— like who you had to be as a kid to receive mom and dad's love became the role and the pattern that you take on everywhere you go. And now as an adult, you're around other people, and these other people you're around, subconsciously there's an inner child part of you that wants to feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. And because it was unresolved from childhood between mom and dad, what happens is you end up going to play this out with other people. You guys following me so far? Childhood pattern that wants to be resolved. Now, the thing is, is when you go out into the world and you meet other people or you have different circumstances, you might abandon parts of yourself to be around these people because of the unresolved energy from here. So, when we're talking about the dark side, my question to you, who were you afraid to be as a kid? That would be bad around mom and dad. You guys following this? If it was good as a kid for you to abandon yourself, if it was good for you to please other people, if it was good for you to overgive or be hyper-independent and just be in your room alone, As an adult, it will feel bad to express the real you. It will feel bad to have anger. It will feel bad. You'll feel like you're being selfish. So this mother-father-child triad thing that I'm talking about, most of the issues in your life, the challenges in your life around connection, the challenges in your life even around abundance, These are normally reflections of past wounds between mother, father, child dynamics because that subconscious pattern is on autopilot. So if you feel not worthy or you feel like, um, you feel like it's your job to ease people's tension, et cetera, and you feel burdened when you're in relationship because you subconsciously think it's your job to ease tensions. And why would you want to be in a relationship when that means you'd have to then manage someone else's emotion or energy? Feels like a lot of work, right? So do you see the difference in energy here? Now, what a lot of people do when they're trying to heal their inner child is they try to fix it. They try to fix it. They try to get it to change. They don't want it to feel what it feels. And actually, to be able to see, hear, soothe, and nurture that inner child is where the power is. Actually accepting the pattern. Accept the empath, people pleaser, hyper-independent pattern, invisible pattern, perfectionist pattern. Accept it. It's not bad. It was just a survival mechanism. Now, The thing to remember is that there's emotion that wants to be seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. But then there's another aspect of you that you're afraid to become because you're afraid that it's going to make mom and dad not happy and it's going to— they're going to leave you. Which now, by the way, this is being projected out with other people in your life. Is this making sense? Now, when we talk about inner child energy growing up as well, here's another thing to think about. As kids, our parents— this is like the king and queen chess piece, right? And it's like the pawn or whatever. As kids, our parents are on like a form of pedestal. They're authority. So, whatever happens between us and our parents becomes something we internalize about ourselves because we're not old enough to understand that mom and dad might have flaws. So instead, mom and dad, if mom and dad divorce, what does the kid think? Kid thinks, oh, there's something wrong with me. Now I got to choose. Which parent do I like more? And then sometimes you get these weird things where if parents divorce or something, it's like, oh, you know, your dad is this way. Your mom is this way. And then you start developing beliefs about men and women that you then project into your relationships as an adult. And there's also dynamics where as a surrogate, like at times mom and dad, if mom wasn't meeting dad's needs or dad wasn't meeting mom's needs, sometimes the parents will then make this— the kid a surrogate partner. This is where you'll get sometimes moms that are best friends with their kids. They're just best friends and they talk about— they overshare and talk a lot about the guys that they date or stuff like that. Creates kind of a hard— it creates a very challenging energy for the child. The child wants to feel safe around mom and dad and able to relax. So, as kids, just to kind of summarize what we're talking about here, as kids, we internalize the things that have happened. So, if there's unresolved stuff between mom and dad, Then what can happen is, as an adult, you go around and project authority onto people, which is also you want validation and approval from people because you want validation, approval from mom and dad, and you don't want them to sit with tension. You don't want them to leave you. But then as an adult, it's like, why do the stakes feel so high when I'm around certain people? When dating, you might ask yourself that, and it's because the stakes are high because This is unresolved. You're literally giving them the authority to tell you if you're worthy or not. Is this making sense? You guys following me here? So who you need to be to So owning your dark side is really giving yourself permission to be the authentic you, knowing that as you begin to embrace this part of yourself that's unresolved from the past, whether that might be anger, sadness, whatever emotion you weren't allowed to feel, and as you begin to connect to that, what you'll find is then that may come with tension of letting other people sit with tension. And then as you begin to choose you, it's like you then re-own a part of yourself that you have been in a way rejecting. It's kind of fun. It's like an in-the-moment thing. I wasn't expecting to grab chess pieces to talk about inner child healing, but nonetheless, here we are. So attracting love Yeah, authenticity is king. You know, it's so funny because they say the most annoying thing to hear— this is so true when it comes to authenticity, owning your dark side, etc. The most annoying thing people will say of how you attract love is what? What is the way in which you attract love? Put it in the comments. It's like in the general collective consciousness, they say it's so easy. What do you mean, how do you attract love? What is the way you attract love? Be yourself. How does owning your dark side help others? Oh, I'll show you in a minute. I'm going to remember that one. So, the most power— exactly. There you go. There's a little time delay. Yeah, many of you are saying it. Being yourself. To just be yourself. Now, here's the thing. The answer really is to be yourself. Like, to attract love, the key is to be yourself. And it's annoying to hear because you say, well, what self am I supposed to be? But the thing is, is as the dark side of you, if you're not— oh, if you're not able to own the anger or the unresolved energy from child, the dark side of being bad, which might mean to let people sit with tension, etc. Then you're not really being yourself. If you're dis— if you're disowning that part of yourself and you're being this nice person, people pleaser, overgiver, that's not the real you. That's the patterned you of who you had believed you had to be as a kid to get mom and dad's love and approval. So being yourself really is the answer. And to be yourself, what this means is to own Being authentic over getting people's validation and approval and easing their tension. Now, somebody said a minute ago, this will be like a really cool way of going deeper on this. So, how does owning your darkness help others? Let's look at not owning your darkness and being nice, being a people pleaser. Being an empath who's super sensitive to other people's emotions and energies and you're so mindful of everyone else, the belief is that that helps people. That does not help people. That— well, let's look at it from 2 different perspectives. Many people that have certain form of relational trauma and have had to become very sensitive to people's emotions as a kid grow up to be great Empathic friends, therapists, people in the service-based industry, nurses. So in some ways, the pattern does help people. Okay? It does. It can have the effect of helping people. But at the same time, the dark side of this is that there's a point to which when you're helping other people, you're abandoning yourself. And Helping people actually is not helping people. If you are being nice, let's look at nice has an agenda. To be kind has an agenda. To be kind has no agenda. To be a people pleaser has an agenda. I please you, I ease your tension, you like me, you need me. And if you don't feel tension, I don't feel tension. That good for me. It's a survival strategy. If I am nice to you, you're going to give me what I want. Of course, it's not. That's the belief that people with that pattern have, but it doesn't work that way. But you can— you think it's good for other people. You think it's nice to them, but it's not. It's actually many times keeping people— if you look at what's called the victim-rescuer-perpetrator role, this is called the drama triangle. Is it nice or good to be a rescuer? No. Yes, every Disney movie I've watched talks about that. I am meant to save the woman. But what actually ends up happening is by saving the victim or tolerating the perpetrator, you end up enabling them to stay in the pattern. So there's a point to which being good, people-pleasing, empath, overgiving It comes with an agenda, which makes it bad, and it also enables other people to stay in their patterns. So people that are in the victim energy that you are there to save, that need you, it might feel good to help them because subconsciously, by the way, you're trying to help a past part of you to help resolve the mother-father-child dynamic. It's safer if there's the— if you think of the victim-perpetrator-rescuer dynamic, for a rescuer, many people that have this people pleaser-empath dynamic, it's safer to be helping the victim and to being the rescuer than it is to be a victim. And when you begin to move into authentic, which is in the middle of this, you can equally hold— you will become the perpetrator to certain people in your life. When you start embrace being bad, like when you start to embrace your dark side or being bad, you may become in certain people's eyes bad because you are no longer fixing their stuff. You may become the quote unquote perpetrator because you are not fixing them, tolerating them, and doing what they want you to do so that you can make them happy. They may use that as a way of guilt for you to stop being this authentic version of you that is not taking on other people's emotions and energies. Does this resonate? So look at it like this too. By being the real you, being the real you, if you think of this fixer, If you think of this fixer perpetrator, like rescuer perpetrator victim dynamic, you moving into the middle means you might need to see, hear, and soothe and nurture that victim part of you from the past. And that's the reason you go when you try to fix everybody else. There's an inner child part of you that wants to feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. But instead, as the rescuer. which can be the knight here. You go and you fix. Who can I help? Who can I fix? I'm gonna take in animals and help everybody else and be extremely compassionate and rescue because there's an inner child part of you that wants to be rescued. If you can see, hear, soothe, and nurture that part of yourself, you begin to heal in a powerful way. And then you don't need to go out to try to fix the other victims in life. But as you begin to move into the most authentic version of you in the middle of that triangle, you will be bad. You will feel literally like you're becoming bad. Part of it's you don't want to come off— normally people that are rescuer dynamic, as a kid you had a perpetrator-type energy in your life of like mom, dad, or somebody was, uh, that had that kind of like aggressive energy that you were afraid of or whatever. Therefore, you're afraid. You you don't want to embody that energy because you don't want people to feel what you felt growing up. But many times, you will then you will then reject your own set level of power. So for me, growing up and having a controlling authority figure in my life, I had to learn how to stand in my own assertiveness, knowing. That all because there's a certain level of assertiveness or anger doesn't mean I'm turning into that person. So I had to embrace that dark side, let people sit with tension. I had to recognize that to be authentic and to express myself wasn't bad, and that that was actually a way of priming other people for the real me. Now, you guys ready for the bomb drop of this whole thing? You guys ready? If you do not embrace this dark side of you, you are actually robbing other people from knowing the real you. By not being vulnerable, by not letting people sit with tension, by not expressing the real you, You are robbing other people from the gift of knowing the real you. And even if that comes with a little bit of tension, the tension does not equal bad. The tension is priming other people for who the real you is. And maybe at a certain level, you don't get the validation and approval the way that you used to. But instead, what you get is you get respect. Because you respect you. This is what we call individuation, by the way, between the mother-father-child dynamic. It's— we cert— the unresolved stuff from childhood, we are playing out with different dynamics of our life, different people in our life, job, etc. When we begin to individuate from mom and dad, we begin to choose our own values. We begin to validate ourselves. We begin to own that disowned anger. We let people sit with tension. That's when we'll begin to become more centered inside of ourselves, more individuated, and we live according to our own chosen values instead of the values growing up. Now, most people's identity, by the way, they live according to the values of the things that they did not receive as a kid. So, if any of you ever heard Tony Robbins talk about values, he talks about there's 6 core values. There's certainty, uncertainty, love or like connection, there's significance, and then there's contribution and growth. And there's other variations of those values too. You could value adventure, you know, a whole bunch of other things. Now, normally, if you value certainty and significance, it's because as a kid, there may have not been certainty and significance in childhood. You may have not felt seen and you may have not felt certain. So then other patterns developed as a mechanism to survive. You subconsciously will want significance from people in your life because you're wanting them to see you. So perfectionism, being perf— you know, being perfect, hyper-independent, creating success for yourself is a way of resolving this energy from the past. So, what happens is you end up looking at it because you're trying to complete it. But the thing to understand and the thing to connect to is that your power is an own. So, those values, if certainty and significance wasn't inside the childhood, you may value those because you're searching for them subconsciously. that inner child part of you. And how is your life different if you are searching for significance, which means to be special, to like have a big following, or to, um, get people to like see you a certain way? You will literally have a different reality because you are embodying different values. So when you become individuated, you start to validate yourself. You start to feel significant within yourself because you complete this from the past. And as you begin to do that, guess what happens? You might start to choose your values and more strong, more powerful values might be connection. They might be connection, growth, contribution. And that's when you'll be most magnetic and that's when you'll own your dark side as well. You guys having fun? Took on a whole life of its own, didn't it? Yeah. And if you guys want to learn more about your core pattern, by the way, I do have a quiz called whatsmyvibration.com. It's in my bio. But you can calibrate your energy and find your core pattern and then begin to learn how to break that core pattern. So if you want that, you guys can see that inside the description or whatever the— Caption. Other than that, do you guys want me to do more of these? I'm honestly considering just going live like almost every day and then that's my content for the day that goes on YouTube, Instagram gets clipped up. Like what if I were to go live every day? Would you guys like that? Someone says, I have lost— that's literally what I'm going through right now. I lost 2 friends in the last 6 months that have taken advantage of my passiveness for years and I've put up boundaries. With my sister and parents, it's hard. Understand, yeah, a lot of times what can happen in a situation like that is you end up partially you're angry at them for taking advantage of you, but part of it is then you're angry at yourself because you allowed it to happen for so long. What we tolerate becomes the way in which people tend to treat us because we tolerate it. So, part of that I had to learn for myself was owning— when I was shifting this pattern a few years ago, I had anger towards other people for a moment and I felt taken advantage of, but then I realized that I was really angry at myself for allowing it to happen. And I'd own that and I had to let myself feel that anger. I had to let myself feel that emotion underneath. And then I had to make a commitment. I used that as a commitment to more authenticity, more expressiveness, more letting people sit with tension, etc. Awesome. Well, thank you guys for being here. I had fun with you guys. Yeah, if you guys want to see more of these, let me know. This is a lot of fun. We got to use some props today to understand all of this, but— Thank you. Other than that, I think that's it for now. As always, peace, much love, and namaste.