In this self‑help video Aaron Doughty explains why three common behaviours among spiritually‑oriented people actually repel romantic love and how to transform them. First, he describes the "empathic people‑pleasing" pattern: after a spiritual awakening many become hyper‑sensitive to others’ emotions, trying to fix or coach them to feel worthy, which creates needy, codependent energy that pushes partners away. He advises reclaiming one’s own energy, grounding in the body, and stopping the habit of seeking validation through service. Second, he highlights a lack of grounding: spiritual seekers often over‑identify with upper‑chakra or extraterrestrial concepts (third‑eye, Pleiades, etc.) and lose presence in the physical body, making them feel distant and unattractive. Practical grounding techniques—barefoot walking, the "frame" meditation, and simply feeling the body’s hands‑feet connection—are presented as ways to become more magnetic. Third, he discusses the absence of personal boundaries, where people say yes to everything because others’ emotions feel like their own. Setting clear limits signals self‑value, reduces codependency, and increases attractiveness. Doughty shares personal anecdotes of his own journey, recommends an inner‑child meditation (available free at aarondoughty.com/child), and cross‑references his confidence‑secrets video. Overall, the video argues that true attraction stems from self‑grounded, self‑valued energy rather than external validation or spiritual grandiosity.
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Spiritual people think that some of these things that they do are attractive, but it actually completely repels love and it blocks it from coming into their life. And the funny thing is that they actually think it's actually helping them when it is in fact not. So in this video, I'm gonna share with you 3 traits most spiritual people have that is actually blocking love from coming into their lives. Now, the first one, has to do with something that many people might think is noble, especially spiritual people. Now, it's very common when people go through a spiritual awakening that what they do is they realize, you know, they have these spiritual epiphanies where they realize, oh, we're all eternal spiritual beings having temporary human experiences. Now, one thing that's very common that can happen is that they then want and they can then feel other people's energies. That's called an empath. If you're an empath, like this video or comment below, okay? An empath is somebody that can feel other people's energy, somebody that can tune to their environment. And many people that go through a spiritual awakening also have that empathic type quality. Now the thing is, is when someone has that empathic type quality and they can feel other people's energy, there's a tendency for people to tune to others, because that's what they're doing, they're tuning to others to feel safe. Because normally what has happened is in childhood, things didn't feel safe. And what the child decided is, I'm gonna tune to other people in order to get my needs met. If mom is okay or dad's okay, then I can finally relax and feel okay. If my siblings are fighting and I make it all better, then I can finally feel safe. The challenge is that what ends up happening is that people that have gone through a spiritual awakening that feel empathic, they can feel other people's energy, is then what happens is they tune too much to others and it has a very repelling type energy. Because then what happens is it's almost like, I can't feel safe until you feel good. So it becomes this fix-it mentality. I'm gonna fix you, I'm gonna help you, I'm gonna extend myself out to you. And it seems kind of like a noble thing to do, 'cause it's like, well, but really it's a self-worthiness thing. It says, I feel worthy based on how much I can give to you, how much I can help you. But I'll tell you from personal experience that the more you try to help somebody else and the more you act as somebody else's like coach or guide, the more depolarized that dynamic becomes. Because when it comes to attracting love and attraction, It's not about somebody coaching somebody else. It's not about trying to fix somebody else. 'Cause also if you try to fix somebody else, you're implying that that somebody else is broken. There's something wrong with them. Doesn't feel very good for them. So what happens though for many people that are empathic is they try to get everybody else to feel good. And it becomes this people-pleasing mentality a lot of times. And people-pleasing mentality is one of the most unattractive qualities there is. Because it is literally saying, it is trying to manipulate other people in order to get their own needs met. If I can make you happy, then you'll give me validation or approval. And it ends up depolarizing relationships. It feels, it's needy codependent energy. And the key and the power of this video is realizing that what a lot of times we're searching for is for people to meet our needs, our inner child needs. That weren't met in childhood. So there's a pattern of then abandoning ourselves to make others happy. And that's not attractive. That actually repels love because then we're changing our center of gravity to tune to others, hoping that those others will come around the way mom and dad may not have come around. So this is all about awareness. And one of the traits of people pleasing, the way that we get through that and we get over that is we realize that the pleasing of other people, trying to please them is trying to manipulate them to get our own needs met. So it's awareness. But the key is to stop abandoning ourselves, to stop abandoning ourselves in the process. And the way we stop abandoning ourselves is by actually being the real us, by not seeking their approval or validation, and by doing what we want. And to realize that we're externalizing our own sense of happiness, we're externalizing our own sense of power by searching for it in other people. So even though you might be an empath, you might feel other people's energy, realize you can bring your energy back, bring it back. And that's one of the most magnetic things you can do because when you bring it back, you're then in your own body. You're in your, like even just right now as you're listening to this, put your hands and your feet, and your hands, Because when you are grounded in your own body, that is magnetic energy. People feel that. When you don't need anything from them, that is magnetic energy. They can feel that. But when you want something from them, you're projecting energy at them and it literally repels them because it's needy energy that's being projected at them. It wants something from them. When I used to sell women's shoes, if I would go into work and I'd be like wanting someone to buy shoes, please buy shoes from me, please help my paycheck. I really want them to buy. It was like they could feel that energy. But when I didn't care, when I was good either way, that changed everything. And one of the things to do is to bring the energy back to yourself. And what I focused on was having more fun, connecting to people instead of needing them to buy, being attached to outcome. And a lot of times with, I think, spiritual people is they may be attached to the outcome. They might be trying to control because in childhood there was a lack of control. So they're trying to control the dynamics. But I tell you one thing, one thing for sure you can't control in your life is other people and relationships. So bring the energy back, put it into your sense of self, stop abandoning yourself and give yourself more permission to express yourself and to be the real you and to know that it's okay to be polarizing. It's okay to go into tension. And that changes a lot. Now, the second thing that is very common with spiritual people that I notice is there becomes this lack of being grounded. So that's the second trait that literally repels love, not being grounded and not being practical. Now with this, what happens, I think, and this is all tied to the empath thing as well, I believe. So what happens is we tune ourselves to others. And I have this theory as well that what happens is When we go through the childhood stuff, when we're kids, it's almost like we don't feel safe 'cause being grounded inside of your, okay, I'm gonna come out of frame, so I don't wanna do that. Being grounded inside of yourself is like your lower chakras, right? So what happens is we don't feel safe, so we move up into our upper chakras, which is like our third eye, our throat, and like we're tuning to the universal cosmos. but that results in not being grounded. And that's why as a coping mechanism, empaths have tuned themselves to other people to get their needs met. So it's almost like they tune themselves to their third eye, to other people so that they could know and know how everyone else is feeling so they can feel safe. But then they also tune to the Pleiades, to the dolphins over here, to all of these extraterrestrial things, to all these conspiracy theories, to all these, kind of heady third eye things. And what ends up happening is they end up not being grounded here. They end up not feeling present here and they're not grounded. And then when somebody else meets them, it's like they almost don't know, they're not able to feel into this other person because they're so tuning to everything else. They're tuning to the other people for safety. They're tuning to this, the Pleiades and Arcturus and all these other things. And they're not feeling grounded in their own energy. And that repels love because it's also not here and now. One of the most magnetic things you could do is to bring your energy back here. I promise you, when you are more present to the moment, you are more magnetic. So bring your energy back in your feet, into your hands. It changes everything. And realize that a lot of times, I'm gonna be a little bit blunt here, some of the spirits, some of it, I'm not saying that like the Pleiades isn't a real place, you can't connect to it in meditation and stuff. I'm just saying that like you being here now is more important than your parallel incarnation, the Pleiades or Arcturus or these other places. Be here, meow. Now, when we are projecting ourselves out though, we are kind of escaping being present to the moment. And the more here you are, the more people will feel your energy instead of it being diluted and going everywhere else. So one of the most magnetic things you could do is to bring your energy back and to focus on being grounded. Something else you could do is you could walk barefoot in grass, something I do. You can meditate, do the frame technique, one of the most powerful meditation practices I've ever found for having magnetic energy. And literally it just means putting your hands on your feet energy in your hands and your feet, feeling the separation between you and others instead of tuning to everybody else, because then you also stop abandoning yourself for others and you start feeling powerful in your own body. When I started feeling more grounded, I remember, oh, what I was gonna say about this though is sometimes what happens is this is what happened for me. I went through my awakening, people didn't get me. I had developed this story that said like, people don't understand me. And I thought everyone else is asleep. I started judging other people, but also I started getting a sense of significance off of being spiritual. I remember literally thinking like, if I tell a girl that I think she's from, you know, like Pleiades or something, she'd probably think that's really special and cool. And it was like a significance thing. And I think sometimes I call it starseed significance. It's like escaping here to talk about the starseed stuff and like all that stuff, but it's almost like there's a wanting to feel different. To feel special. That's called significance. And we're chasing significance, it's very shallow. And I learned that from experience. I had to let all that stuff go and to focus on being here and now. I had to stop also judging when it comes to attracting love or being attractive. The more judgments we have about other people, they feel that shit and then they reflect it back and they judge back. So like me saying like, people are asleep, they don't understand this stuff because no one gets me, that was blocking me from connecting to people in my life. Once I let that go and realize this isn't some ego trip of like someone's better than someone else, someone's woke, someone's asleep, I was able to connect with people in a very different way and it was much more magnetic and attractive energy. So that's the second one, not being grounded. And the way you be grounded, put the energy back in your body, do the frame technique. I'll link that video at the end. And the third one, it's also one of the most powerful ones, is a lack of setting boundaries. Sometimes with friends and family, you may say yes to everything. You may say yes to other people being a certain way. You may say yes to like people telling you where to be and how to be. You may have really trouble saying no to like things you actually don't wanna do. People may cross the line. There may be no lines. Like people cross the line and like, that's not okay. But like there is no line. And why? Because other people's emotions or feelings are your emotions or feelings. That's how it feels. It's connected to the people pleasing thing. And not being grounded. It's a lack of being in the body and feeling that separation. So when it comes to setting boundaries, realize that boundaries are your way of communicating your sense of value. The more also you value yourself, a lot of times the more boundaries you have. Back in the day when I first got on YouTube, I remember before that it was hard for me to say no to friends that wanted to hang out. And I started making videos and I started being busy and it was like so hard for me to say no to my friends wanting to hang out because it's like if I let them down, I was letting myself down 'cause their emotion was my emotion, people pleasing thing. I was eventually, as I started to grow my channel, I started to be like, oh, I have this mission, I have this vision, I'm making videos every day. I started to value my time and energy more. So what ended up happening is it became easy. I eventually valued myself more and I had to say no. I had to say no to other people's boundaries. I had to say no to doing things that other people wanted me to do for their own benefit. So what ended up happening is it got easier for me to say no. And the more I said no to things I didn't want, not that I didn't ever wanna hang out with them, but like I had to say no to that so I could say yes to me growing my YouTube channel. So I could say yes to like me doing what I really meant to do in life. So setting boundaries is one of the most magnetic things you can possibly do And when you set boundaries with other people, it communicates a sense of value. And remember, if they're mad at you for setting boundaries, that's their shit, not yours. That's what's very important to remember. And to remember that the more you're in your own frame, the more you're in your own energy, the more magnetic you will be. Now, one of the things that I have, that's one of the most powerful things that you can begin to use is an inner child meditation for healing this energy. It's an inner child meditation where we energetically go to Kauai, Hawaii. And what we do is we meditate and we heal our own inner child. We bring it forth so that we can meet the needs that we weren't met growing up. We'll feel completely different. So if you haven't listened to this meditation yet, you can go to aarondoughty.com/child. It's completely free. And then also there's a video right here for confidence secrets that make you attractive AF. It's one of my most popular videos. Check this video out right now. Here, people feel what you feel about you. The energy inside of our bodies are contagious, and based on how we feel about ourselves, that energy is being emanated out, and other people
