3 Ways to Deal with Narcissists and Sociopaths without giving them your energy

This video, I'm gonna share with you 3 ways of dealing with narcissists or sociopaths without giving them your power. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron Doughty, and I help people expand their consciousness. Now, in this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you the 3 ways you can deal with narcissists or sociopaths so that you don't give away your power, and understanding the best way to move about this process. Now, if you're somebody that knows somebody that is what is called a narcissist or a sociopath, first off, understand what really makes it easier is understanding that it's a belief they have about who they are that perpetuates that behavior, that way of being. So knowing that doesn't make it necessarily right, but it does make it easier to understand that when people are that way, there's a certain way they're wired. It's almost like then you can understand them a little bit more, at least. Now, for those of you that don't know, I had an abusive ex-stepmom in my life between the ages of 7 to 15 years old. And she's definitely somebody that falls into the categories of narcissists and sociopaths. There were many different situations where my brother and I would get punished for things that we didn't do. You know, we weren't allowed to watch TV. We weren't allowed to have friends. We had to earn going to school activities majority of the time if we wanted to go to band camp or something like that that was actually required by school, we'd get that taken away if we got into trouble because there came a point to where nothing else could be taken away. A lot of times we were locked outside and made to do yard work for maybe 8 to 12 hours a day while she'd be at work. My dad was a firefighter, so he was gone 24 hours a day, back 24 hours a day, and he kind of let her just like run the show. And if, you know, besides being that, she was also physically abusive. And it was almost like as well, we would, we would have to admit to doing things we didn't do, and there was a a lot of manipulation there and a lot of tearing down, a lot of, um, you know, making us feel like we weren't worthy and, uh, weren't good enough. And even after my dad divorced her when I was 15 years old, I still felt that unworthiness. And it took me years to really unravel that and understand that and understand actually that was a huge gift for me because that pressure led to my spiritual awakening, dealing with, dealing with someone like that. However, Uh, there's a couple of things that I learned while working with her and you know, it got to a point to where I had to learn how, you know, if I wanted to go to, let's say, a band camp competition, what I would have to do is I would have to pretend like I didn't really want to go in order for me to be able to actually go. Because if she knew at all that I wanted to go, she would then tell me, oh, you didn't do something right. So if I would have to pretend like I didn't want to go so that I could actually then, uh, go. And if she found out I did want to go, what she would do is she she would say, oh, you didn't do this correctly and you don't get to go. But if I was like, you know, I really don't wanna go to that band tournament, but I guess, you know, maybe there's a way I can get out of it. She'd be like, no, you're going. Like, that's something you're going to. So it was a very interesting thing because I had to kinda learn how to work through that just to be able to go to school, you know. My brother and I also weren't given food. We were given a TV dinner at night and a bowl of cereal in the morning. So we were like 120, I was 110, 120 pounds as like a sophomore in high school because of that. When my dad divorced when I was 15, all of a sudden my brother and I were able to start, you know, gaining weight again. A lot of times we have to break into one side of the house just to get a little bit more food so that we were able to eat, because the house we lived in had like a separate section where my brother and I were, which is like an unremodeled side of the house, and it would be like blocked off. So my brother and I would find ways sometimes of sneaking in so we'd like, you know, get some food and stuff like that. So the reason I share all that is just so you know I dealt with this from experience, so I understand it. But there was also an interesting thing that that happened yesterday, and I'll kind of share with you a little bit about the context of what this is. And this has to do with understanding not taking these things personal, not taking it personal and thinking that it actually has to influence you and be something that is a part of you because it happened. So I'm here at this Date with Destiny event with my buddy Victor Otto, and it's with Tony Robbins. It's a 6-day event, and in it there's a lot of, you know, it's long days, like 16 hours long a day or 14, 15 hours long. 15 hours along, you know, like 9 in the morning to like, you know, 1 at night sometimes. And the first day that we were there was yesterday. And when we were there, you know, it's very transformational. Tony does a lot of interactions and interventions with people. And then there's sometimes we do these things called exercises where we will share certain things with people. So one of them was like sharing our dream of what we want to create like the next, you know, 6 months, year, whatever. And then also sharing the reason we haven't done it yet, the reason hasn't happened yet, and then what the key is for us to make that happen. So we had to write this down, and then we had to share it in a group of 2 or 3. So what happened was, is at first I was dealing with this one guy who was really cool, and him and I were going back and forth and sharing each other's, like, challenges, why we were there, what we wanted to get out of it, and what was holding us back from achieving our true dreams. And then what happened is, like, after this second, you know, there's a couple segments we'd go away to share, and then one of the last segments, what happened is since it was just 2 of us, they wanted us to be with 3 people. So one of them, one of the, like, the course helpers or someone came by, is like, hey, you need 3 people. Okay, so he grabbed someone else and put someone else in our group, and it was this, it was this woman. And it was interesting because right when that happened, I, you know, I started to feel— I don't know, I felt a little bit more heaviness. And then we're in this group, and when we were sharing, it all of a sudden was, it was a very different energy in a way. And, and she kind brought a very different energy to the, to the group. You know, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with her, but what happened was is it kind of took me by storm. I really didn't know how to respond to this. So I was kind of sharing about how, you know, I'm getting into doing like live events and stuff like that, you know, and how if I've been kind of in a way procrastinating, I haven't got to it as quickly as I wanted to. And I was talking about how I just need to stop telling myself a story that like I have to wait another couple months or until I'm done traveling. And I know that once I start doing live events, which is something I'm for sure gonna be doing the next couple months, months. However, you know, I thought I'd be doing it a year ago because, because I don't know, it's just my blueprint in my mind that way. And I've been kind of judging myself, beat myself up because I've been so busy with personal life stuff that I haven't actually got to it. So I'm sharing with them too about my dreams and about like, this is what I'm going to do in the next like 6 to 8 months. And the reason I haven't done it yet is because I tell myself a story, blah, blah, blah. And then her response just really threw me, like threw me and made me surprised. It's very bizarre. She was like, she's like, wait, so you're gonna be like speaking I kind of already do that for a living, you know, online, but I'm gonna be moving into like, you know, real live events. And she goes, I could never see you doing that. She's like, yeah, you know, you, I couldn't even see that. Yeah. You have this like, and then she like looks, she looks at me and she looks at me like this and she goes, you have this sadness in your eyes and I couldn't ever see you doing like this right here. And it was just the most bizarre thing. And then after that, like after that, she was asking me questions about what I did. She's like, so how big are you? Like, you know, I don't watch YouTube and all this stuff. And then she was like, um, and then it was, it was just a very weird conversation where in that moment it kind of deflated, you know, even with all the consciousness work that I know, and even though I know everything in life is neutral, like what is this showing about myself? Um, what I realized in that moment is that, you know, I really had to observe it and then see, does this really have anything to do with me? You know, is it, is there some insecurity that I have about myself? Like, will I be able to do that? You know? And in a way, I then had to realize I can't take this personally. It honestly took about 20 minutes. I kind of told Victor about it right after it happened, and I was like, I don't know how to respond to this. I don't know what to do. It was just the most bizarre thing that I've experienced, and she may not even have meant harm. She may have just been being the way that maybe her parents treated her anytime she had a dream. But when you're at a conference to go forward with your dreams and somebody tells you, yeah, I don't ever see you doing that, I'm like, you don't know me. You don't know what I do. I don't know, you know, why I said— I just, I guess I don't know the context for why somebody would say something like that to someone, especially at a transformational event where you're becoming vulnerable and sharing your dreams with people you don't really even know. So it was just very bizarre. But in that moment, it kind of reminded me that much of my ex-stepmom and how she would do something like that as well. She would say things that kind of tear you down because there's two ways to move up in the world. One of them is you build the, you know, the tallest skyscraper, or the other way is you tear down everyone else's, you know. And while that's a very achiever mindset, it's about knowing that you don't have to take things personal. So that's what I did. The more I got that perspective that I don't have to take this personal, this is her things, this is maybe the way her parents treat her, I don't know. But also just being compassionate and not judging, not even labeling. Sometimes with narcissists and sociopaths, we put them in a certain category, certain box, and because of that it then causes that kind of, um, it then causes that kind of almost for them to stay within that realm. And it was very bizarre. She may not even have meant actual harm. It was, it was even more bizarre because after that situation, I kind of felt, you know, I kind of felt dirty about it and I kind of distanced myself from her. And then like 20 minutes later, she gives, she gives Victor her phone to give to me to put in my phone number. And I'm like, what? No. I'm like, you know what I mean? Like, it was, it was just very bizarre. But she may have not actually even meant harm by that. But But it was something that I would— here's the thing too. When, when somebody affects you like that, I think energetically, if I were to continue to think about her and her saying that, it'd be me sending her energy in a way. And maybe people feed on that subconsciously without even knowing it. I think a lot of times when I looked at even like my ex-stepmom, she would do things and then it would do things that were painful. And then when you think about it over and over again, it sends them mental energy. They may not know this. This is an esoteric idea. But nonetheless, I feel like they subconsciously know that. Now, the second thing I wanted— the second way to deal with it, narcissists and sociopaths, is to simply remove yourself from their energetic field. Now, I know this seems like, like an obvious thing, but many people, you know, I met a lot of people actually that watch my videos on YouTube where I've talked about narcissists and sociopaths. What I'll do is I'll actually link a playlist right here and in the bottom, you know, in the description of this video on on narcissists and sociopaths, and 'cause I have some videos there that have been very popular, not me even knowing that there was that much of a desire for people to understand more about the energy dynamics between how to deal with them and whether they get their karma or not, which is a video I had that did really well. And most people, it may seem too obvious, but one thing you could do is completely remove yourself from their energetic fields. And you may say, oh, that's a family member, that's this, that's that. You know, you're not entitled and obligated if it drains your energy and if it's making you not achieve your dreams. You're not obligated to always have to be around people and be feeding their energy field. So one thing you could do is just remove yourself from that. My sister has to deal with my ex-stepmom at this moment because she's 17 years old and her mom is, you know, still narcissist and sociopath and doing the most crazy things. One time, but I mean, this might be kind of off course, but she'd do things like, you know, if my sister got in trouble, she took her phone one time, took her phone away from her and texted her own friends embarrassing her, saying like, you know, sending weird pictures and saying dumb things to like make her look dumb. You know, I don't know what kind of mom would do that to her own daughter, but that just kind of gives you the kind of frame, you know. And doing that, and my little sister that's 17 years old wants away, but it's kind of hard because of the way the way the court systems are worked out, you know, the mom tends to have a lot of power with that even though she really wants to be with my dad and doesn't want anything to do with her mom. But nonetheless, it's, you know, when she's 18 years old, she will most likely remove herself from having to talk to her mom. That's just a part of it. Now you can have compassion with this and this doesn't mean that like you can't have a relationship at all, but you have to be mindful of your own energy. I'm lucky I don't ever have to deal with my ex-stepmom again. That lady that I dealt with, I don't ever have to deal with her again if I don't want to. And I'm not— and I plan on not doing it just because I have more boundaries for my energy field. But at the same time, I'm not labeling her and seeing her as, as broken. I'm just— that's, you know, I just— it's okay to have boundaries. It's okay to say no. It's okay to remove yourself from the situation, whether it's family or not family. You got to be aware of your own energy and how you feel Now the third way that you can deal with narcissists and sociopaths is actually paradoxical to the last one, but that is to allow them to be and to accept them. I know that sounds crazy, but to accept them— like, I accept my ex-stepmom even though I don't ever have to see her again, but I don't judge her and have this like resistance about her. I'm not pushing against, you know, what I experienced in the past. And even if I had to deal with someone, even if I had to deal with that lady again yesterday, I would almost just accept her and let her be and not let it penetrate my energy field as much, not be so resistant towards it, but also just kind of be like water and let it flow through in a way, you know. There's a very powerful process I found. We actually did it last night at Date with Destiny, so it was very interesting to see because in my future events I planned on doing a similar process. It's called Ho'oponopono. I have a video below where you can just listen to it, listen to it for 15, 10 or 15 minutes a day. Watch how it changes your energy field. Watch how it changes even the people, those narcissists and sociopaths. You may find that they begin to change as you do that process of Ho'oponopono. So in the video below, I explain how to apply that process, and then there's a 15-minute section. You can listen to it while you're driving, listen to it while you're doing things around the house, and watch how it changes your energy field and then the people in your lives as well. So let me know as well what you think about this video, what you think and how you deal with narcissists. And then what we can do is we'll have like a bank of— you can always come back to, to see different ways of working through it. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this video, and as always, peace, much love, and namaste.