5 Ways NOT GIVING A F*CK Will Raise Your VIBRATION (& how to do it)

Today, I'm gonna be sharing with you the 5 things and 5 ways you can apply not giving a fuck to raise your vibration. And this has been a game changer for me over the last, I'd say, 6 months, is learning to let go of outcome, learning to let go of giving a shit about certain things. Now, when we talk about not giving a fuck, think about it like this. Have you noticed that people that don't give a fuck about certain things do better than people that really do give a shit? Have you noticed that? Like if two people want a job and someone's like, I really, really want this interview to go well, I really, really want it to go well, and it's coming from a needy energy, they many times will resist themselves getting the job. Whereas somebody that kind of goes in where it's like natural for them or they're just naturally confident or they're just detached from the outcome, That has a more magnetic energy. I remember I've told this story once or twice before, but I remember that I went originally before I worked at Nordstrom's in women's shoes. This is when I was like 18, 19 years old. A friend of mine, my best friend at the time, dragged me to a Zappos interview. This is before Zappos was bought by Amazon. This is before Zappos was big, but Zappos had a very unique culture. I remember hearing about it. My friend was, telling me about it. We go in for this interview after I kind of already knew that I was gonna get the job at Nordstrom's. But I go into this place at Zappos and it's like a magical place that you go to. You go into, and there was like this room for people taking naps. They had food catered every single day for lunch. They had like, their office was like a party streamers everywhere. It was kind of crazy. But I remember because I wasn't attached, it was a, what is it? Speed interview where like you went to these different people that were interviewing you and then they chose, you know, certain people that they wanted to work for them. And at the time it was like a $13 to $15 an hour job place, which back in like 2008 or 2009 was like good money. Now it's, I guess, minimum wage, but that was like probably making $25 an hour or $20 an hour nowadays, you know? And I went into this job, to this interview, and I did not give a shit. I already knew that I had the job at Nordstrom's kind of like locked in and I knew that I wanted that, but my friend dragged me to it. We were gonna chill anyway. So I was like, okay, I'll go. I went into this job interview with just a fun mentality. And they said at the beginning of like this group interview thing, they're like, we like weird people. We like people that are kind of weird and a little bit different. And I thought to myself, well, I'm pretty fricking weird. So he was like, you know what? I'm gonna push this as far as I can go. So my friend and I, we are going through these group interviews things and we're both being interviewed. I just say weird shit. I was like, I didn't care. I think they were asking me like my hobbies and stuff like that. I was like, I like to jump rope and I like to do this, I like to do that, like just hopscotch. I was like saying just weird things. And I said it, I did not care. My friend though, he wanted the job. He was like, Maybe he was like positioning himself in a certain way so that he could like, I don't know, come off a certain way or whatever. But the funny thing was I go through this whole job interview, I don't even give a shit. I'm like, whatever. Guess who gets the callback? The next day I get a call and they say, we would love for you to come back and like, you know, they're gonna offer me something or have like a final interview or something like that. But I turned them down because I wanted to work at Nordstrom's because I knew that working at Nordstrom's was a commission-based job that I'd get paid more. More of even though the other place was a higher hourly job. So that's why I picked that. But anyways, I didn't care. And because I didn't care, I had more power. And they maybe felt from my energy that I wasn't so resistant and that had a more magnetic effect. Or another example of this is just think of the cool guy, the cool guy at a school that's wearing the leather jacket that's just like leaning against the lockers, sucking on a toothpick or whatever, chewing on a toothpick like back in the '70s or something. That's probably not what kids do now or people do now, but he don't care. He doesn't care if the girls like him or if this person calls them back. He's just, he's like a bad boy, right? But then you got this other guy that's a really good guy and it's like, "Ooh, I really hope Sally calls me back, ugh." And guess what energy is more attractive? So from an attractive point of view, the person that is more not attached is the person that is more attractive. But you'll find as well that the less attached you are to outcome to things in your life, the more natural they are, the more easy they are. The more successful I've become and the more abundance that I've made, it's become more natural for me to make this level of abundance. So it's not on this huge pedestal. But in general, the less fucks you give about these kind of things, the more power, the less attached you are. And when you're not attached, you are so magnetic. Not only are you magnetic, but it's like your energy just is in abundance. Attachment is scarcity. Think about that. The more attached you are to anything, you're saying that I need Sally to call me back because if Sally doesn't call me back, I don't have any other options. You see, it's coming from a place of scarcity. So the bad guy or the rebel guy that's like leaning against the lockers, chewing on the toothpick that doesn't care, he's in ultimate abundance. That's the main difference. And maybe it was also the abundance I was in because I had this other job interview that I knew I was gonna get at Nordstrom. So when I was going to Zappos, I was like, "I don't care." And you know, the funny thing is if I would've stayed at, if I would've got hired at Zappos back in 20, I don't even know where that was. It was like 2008. It was before they got sold to Amazon. It was before I would've got stock options and shit. That could have been a really good decision, but who knows, maybe I would've become content with that and not gone into like YouTube and stuff like that. You know what I'm doing now, which got me out of the pain of working at Barney's New York, which was where I went from Nordstrom's to Barney's New York. Those are pretty much the only two jobs I've really had besides Hollister. When I was 18 years old, I got a job at Hollister, but that was a very common thing to, Commonplace to work by age here in the United States at that time. So here's the thing about not giving a fuck as well. It comes from letting go and understanding, let's understand how this connects to our vibration. So our vibration, you could say, is a combination of how we think, feel, and act. And how we think, feel, and act is on autopilot, but there's a general base vibration of there of how we're being. And the way that it works is if you remember the scale of consciousness, it's an upside down triangle. And what you have is at the bottoms, you have shame, guilt, fear, anger, neutrality. Then eventually you have acceptance, reasoning, which is the intellect of the mind. It's your beliefs create your reality level. It's understanding science. And then at 500 is joy and then peace, love, is love, joy, peace, enlightenment. This is the scale of consciousness. And everything in our life will resonate at a certain frequency. Now, our general base point vibration, we are meant to be high a majority of the time. The thing that causes us to feel low vibration is attachment, and specifically attachment to what are called positionalities, the perspectives we have. We have a perspective of being right. So we may say, this person did this to me and that wasn't right. That's an attachment we have to maybe anger. Maybe it like justifies our childhood or something like that. But the thing is, is the attachment we have is the only reason we feel like we're not in high vibration. Now our vibration is naturally meant to be high and that's because we're eternal spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. Our avatar body, like this avatar suit, the 3D body, we accumulate different attachments, different energy attachments of things we're attached to, people we're attached to that affect our vibration in certain ways. Now, not giving a fuck is about understanding that you can become aware of the attachments and understand that it's not necessarily serving you and then give it up. And when you give it up, your vibration will naturally raise. And when we talk about not giving a fuck as well, realize you're going to give a fuck about something. There's a book called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" that kind of inspired some of this episode by Mark Manson. And I might eventually reach out to him to get him on the podcast or something like that. I've never really leveraged my audience or not audience, I guess, but I guess the reach that I have to like reach out to, you know, different people to get them on the podcast. That'd be kind of cool. Besides like friends and stuff like that, you know, of mine. But that'd be cool. Maybe I'll do that. But basically, the book talks a lot about kind of what I'm talking about, where the less you care, the less you're attached, the more powerful you are. But a lot of the pain in our lives comes from giving a fuck, giving too much of a fuck. And the thing is, is we give a fuck about the wrong things. We give a fuck about the wrong things. Now, the moral of this whole episode and the thing that you'll see as a common thread as we go through all this is you're going to give a fuck about something. You have to. That's like your purpose. It's your mission. It's your integrity. It's your values. You're gonna give a fuck about something. The key is to let go of giving a fuck about the things that you've always felt like you had to care about in order to be a certain way, pretty much the values and the social conditioning that's been handed to you. You might really care about things you don't really deep down authentically care about. You could be maybe from trauma, you became a people pleaser. You growing up had certain level of where you didn't feel safe in your own frame and you started tuning to other people and you thought, if I get their validation, then I will feel safe. And their validation equals my safety. So then you tune to everybody else and you give a fuck about what everybody else thinks about you and you place that over what you think about you. Well, how will your life be differently? For so long, I cared more about what other people thought of me, more so than what I thought about myself. So the first part of this that I wanna share just in general is understand that with this whole process of not giving a fuck and 5 ways to give a fuck to raise your vibration, realize attachment equals the root of all suffering. And the key to this is simply letting go of those positionalities. And when you do, you will naturally raise your vibration. Something that I've realized too is that people focus so much with manifestation, with manifesting their dream life, dream partner, whatever, They focus on the getting of it, but they don't focus on the letting go of what's holding and blocking that thing from coming in in the first place. I have more of a minimalist approach to manifestation now. The more you let go is the more you will let in. You don't have to focus so much on the visualization and the reproach. If you just let go, you make room for more, and more cannot come in until you let go. So letting go is also a level of abundance that you begin to get into. Because if you can let go, then you're in that abundant state to where then you allow more and more opportunities to come to you. So that's the first thing about this that I wanna share. Now, the way that also your vibration will be affected by other people is when you give a fuck about what other people think of you. Too much, or, you know, I guess that you, no, it's becoming aware of your own sense of self, your own sense of frame, and not letting other people's affect you. I had something happen the other day on, just actually a couple days ago, where I was not affect, I was affected a little bit to where I was kind of triggered. I was in, my girlfriend, she does vlogs, She also kind of does what I do. So she made a, we were making, you know, she lives in San Diego. I went to her in San Diego like a month or two ago and she made some vlogs while we were there. And those vlogs went on her YouTube channel. And when they went on her channel, I'm in them. And she, I went through and was just looking at the vlog, watching the vlog. And then I looked at some of the comments and it's funny, like I've been making videos on YouTube now for so long that the comments, The positive ones don't necessarily affect me and the negative ones don't necessarily affect me. And that's a safe place to be, by the way. Back in the day when I would get a positive comment, I'd feel so high, so good. Oh, this video changed someone's life. Oh my God, I feel so good. But what I realized is the more that I cared about that and the more that I drew my sense of validation from the positive comments, the more the negative comments affected me. So what I've learned to do is I've learned to just kind of be neutral where I realize that it's a reflection, it's helping people, you know, that's great. But I've been doing this for 2, 3 years now and I've seen very negative comments, I've seen very positive comments. And it's always also the comments that you're like afraid may be true, you know, that you then feel self-conscious of or that you feel like worried about or insecure about. But anyways, my girlfriend posted this video, this vlog, and in it there were comments and most of the comments were good. Most of them were nice, like, oh, Aaron, you know, but there was like 2 comments that people that were like talking about me in a way that was like, oh, Aaron, I used to watch his videos, but I don't like him anymore. His energy rubs me the wrong way and like stuff like that. And I was like, huh? It was, I mean, there were so many positive comments, but my mind went straight to the negative comment. And then somebody else, you know, like, you know, just to be vulnerable with you guys, I've been making these videos for so long. I have 2,000 YouTube videos out there. I know some of the videos are repetitive. Like I know that I talk about, you know, sometimes people assume that because I talk about the stepmom story, the ex-stepmom story when I was 7 to 15 years old, that it means I'm not over it or something. I know it's repetitive, but I also understand how marketing works. And I understand how putting out 2,000 videos over the course of 3 years, only so many videos can be new, brand new ideas. Like if I, so when it comes to like repetitive videos and stuff like that, like because somebody was like, oh, his videos are, I got tired of hearing him talk about his ex-stepmom and stuff like that. And a lot of people liked the comment. So I was like, oh, this must be even more true. They're not the only one that think that, you know? And I also have, I guess that self-consciousness or self-conscious mentality where like maybe I am being repetitive. Maybe I should just stop making YouTube videos unless it's something brand new and a video that comes out like once a month or some shit, you know? And when I was reading these comments, I was like, huh, maybe I am repetitive. And someone said that my energy rubbed them the wrong way. And I was like, well, my energy rubbed them the wrong way? Like, do I have bad energy? You know, like maybe there's something in my energy that's changed from when I used to make videos like 2, 3 years ago. Maybe my energy's changed now. Like, I don't know. I started feeling kind of self-conscious of my own energy and started doubting myself in a way for like, this lasted for like 10, 20 minutes where I was like really kind of going through this process. But then I thought about just like, I don't know if this is a way of rationalizing, not letting what other people think affect me as much, but I'm thinking to myself like, most people that watch my videos, they don't, like a lot of people, they don't know what it's like to make 2,000 videos, you know what I mean? And when I say that, it's like, it's not easy to make 2,000 videos and always be coming up with new content with the intention of adding value and also understanding what I know about marketing to where I have to kind of like, tell my core story because people that find me from one video, it's not like, the videos reach different people based on the topics, you know what I mean? So if I made just one video like 3 years ago about the ex-stepmom thing and never talked about it again, then there's a lot of people that wouldn't have heard the core story. And I think my core story resonates with people. And despite the fact that maybe people don't like it because it's repetitive, they do know it. Like, she's like, I got tired of hearing about this, this, and this and this, which is like pretty much my core story. But it's like, the reason I say that too is it's like, I don't know, I guess also there's a part of me that's like, well, you know, I've never had the desire to go on. If there's just somebody energy that I don't resonate with, I just don't go on their channel. I don't feel compelled to like comment on someone's video to be like, I don't like your energy, or this person to talk smack about someone, you know? So in a way, maybe I'm a projection for them or maybe they're projecting something to me. But what I had to really do and what I learned from this is I was trying to gain my sense of validation from the outside. I was trying to get, like, there's a part of me that wanted people to view me a certain way, to view me as a good person. I'm like, well, here's the thing. Like, even if my energy comes off wrong, like, I mean well, like, I'm trying to help people or I'm trying to put out good content. I have good intentions, it's just you can only do so much from making so many videos for 3 or 4 years straight, you know what I mean? So I mean well though, don't they know that I mean well? And that was like the little boy inside of me, he's like, well, don't you know, like I'm just an innocent, good person, you know? And then I started to wake up and realize, wait, I don't have to, I can give myself the validation that I'm craving on the outside. And I can also remind myself to come back inside my own frame. So in a way, not giving a fuck, but also giving a fuck about what I think and realizing, you know what, like I understand. And also I realize this, you guys want it like a different perspective also as to levels of consciousness. If you guys have ever studied spiral dynamics, if you guys type in Aaron Doughty spiral dynamics on YouTube, there's videos about this that I've made before. But the spirals of consciousness, it's kind of similar to the scale of consciousness, but I operate And what I'm doing is there's the orange level of consciousness. The orange level of consciousness is that of business, success, science. It's growth, like Tony Robbins. It's like very growth, you know, it's like that's the kind of mentality. And it's capitalism. It's understanding how to be good at like abundance and money and stuff like that. And then green level of consciousness is above that. Green level of consciousness is more like, it's more like community, it's more love, it's more flow, it's more like, you know, people being vegans, a very green ideology. People going to Burning Man is a very green thing. Plant medicine is green. And this is like a level of consciousness that a lot of my audience is in, a lot of Heather's audience is in, my girlfriend. And what I realized that what I do, like my marketing, what I do is I help people from orange and blue, which blue is under orange. Blue is like religion and like kind of like rigid belief systems and people that are like really just being told what to do by the government, maybe stuck in a 9-to-5 job sometimes. And we all have different parts of our life that might be in different versions of these colors. But what I'm helping people do is go from orange to green, orange to green, or from blue to like, orange to green, or from people that are in green to root themselves in orange, to have a strong sense of like being successful in the material world. 'Cause sometimes people try to skip a level. When I went through my awakening in 2012, I skipped orange and went straight into green and became this guy that was sun gazing and meditating all the time. But I lost my footing and I was like, nope, I'm not, I don't wanna make money. I don't wanna do this. Money is evil, money is bad. But I had to go back. You can't skip a level. You have to like, You have to like become grounded and learn it, and then you move on to the next one. So what I'm trying to do, and what I realize is some of also Heather's audience, they may be, I may trigger them because I also represent orange. I do have a business, I am successful, I do have nice things, and to some people that triggers them because it looks like materialistic or something like that. Whereas I believe part of being spiritual is also enjoying the spiritual experience of like, you know, enjoying life. You know, but I can see how that would be triggering. So it's also like a level of awareness for me where I just, I'm like, no, this is who I am. Like I'm bridging and helping people in the spiral going from like orange into green, showing like green is also where there's more flow. You don't have to work so hard. Like it's a different mentality. And I, in my own life, I'm going through these different phases, but a lot of the things that you give a lot of fucks about in orange, you might not give as much a fuck about in green. You see, and that's kind of what these dynamics are. They're different value systems, different ways of understanding that. So the second way that it'll raise your vibration by not giving a fuck is by not caring what other people think, by more so caring about what you think, what you feel, not in the level of narcissism, but getting back to your own frame. That's what I had to do. I had to remind myself, remember, wait, Aaron, you know who you are. You know what you're all about. and I don't need the validation from the outside to make me feel or be different on the inside. And as I remember that, it felt really good. There is, I think, always gonna be a part of all of us that's like, oh, I just wanna be accepted by everybody. But I've also remembered that part of like what I'm doing of being in front of so many people is I am gonna be polarizing. There are people that love my energy and there are people that hate my energy. And it just so happens that the people that love it are very loud, which is great. The people that hate it are very loud, which is also great because that's their expression. But it's like, I just need to be able to not give a fuck about either of them and just do what I'm doing. I noticed too, when I'm making videos that I want to go viral or videos I want to get views and to reach people, if I give a fuck about that, the videos don't do that well. But if I let go of outcome and I'm more so my value is authenticity, that's what changes everything. It's being authentic. And you probably feel that this episode, like, like this video or comment below if this video feels more vulnerable than some of the other ones or more authentic than some of the other ones. And it's just because I'm opening up and being vulnerable with you. That's the second thing that I wanted to share about this whole process is that you're gonna care about something. But if you care about what other people think of you, you're getting your sense of validation from the outside. And by not caring, you're actually able to be the most authentic you, which is going to be a higher vibrational you. Than the version of you that is attached to what other people think of you. And a lot of times I think that can also be rooted from childhood experience, like childhood trauma, or like, I mean, it might be like an evolutionary biological drive to like wanna be a part of the tribe, you know? Back in the day, to be banished from a tribe was just same as death because you're probably not gonna survive in the wild type thing, you know, before we had like civilization like we do now. So I think that there's a fear there of not being accepted. But when you, something that the book, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" talks about is when you become okay with being different, that's when it becomes, you stop giving a fuck about being the same as everybody else and you start more so valuing like being different. That's a very powerful place to be because a lot of times also your differentness, you being different is gonna, what's gonna set you apart from other people. So that's something that's changed my life a lot as well. It's like knowing I am different. I do have intense energy. I know that, you know? And if I can accept that about myself, then that's the key to this. And if there's somebody else that says something that they don't like about me, I can look through that lens to see what they're saying, but I don't have to necessarily take it on as my own and identify with what other people are saying to me because that doesn't make me who I am. You know, so the other thing that I wanted to talk about is the thing that a lot of you will probably also resonate with. You've heard me talk about before in some ways, but the more you give a fuck and the more you want is the more you lack. It talks about this in that book. It says the positive, wanting a positive experience is a negative experience. So if you want a positive experience that you don't currently have, it's a negative experience because you're emphasizing that you don't have it. However, accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. So accepting something that might be negative or something that might be positive, you accept it, it becomes a positive experience. So, and Alan Watts called this the backwards law. It was called the backwards law. And it had to do like the more that you believe there's something wrong with you, the more that you are in, the more you're imposing that onto yourself. I was talking to my friends, Victor and Patty yesterday. We all work with this, the shadow work guy, you know, I've had him on my pod. I'm gonna have him on my podcast soon, but he's a coach that I've had for probably a year now. He's like a shadow work integration coach, I guess you could say. He has like a double PhD in like Carl Jungian psychology, and he's just really good at identifying my blocks, my subconscious stuff. And he works with Victor, he works with actually quite a few of my friends now. And I was talking about like what he does, and one of the things he does is he helps people release shame. I said yesterday, I was like, he's pretty much a shame coach. He helps people not feel shameful for what they feel. Like even because my buddy Victor, Patty, and I, we're all a certain personality type where we're very, he calls it being driven, where we're driven for success and we're driven and we have this mentality where we're always doing things. And sometimes there could be shame around that, even like having ADHD, like which is what I had growing up. There was a lot of shame around that. I remember people telling me like, what's wrong with you? Why do you have so much energy? And I would feel like there's something wrong with me. And the interesting thing that I realized is that believing there's something wrong with me, giving a fuck about and thinking about that was in itself infusing more resistance into the process. When instead I realized it's perfect as it is, there's nothing wrong with me, it's self-awareness. I can learn how to mitigate that and feel the emotion I'm feeling to then, and it dissolves and it changes. That's a possibility. Transformation could still happen, but it's not feeling shameful for it. Like controlling, like controlling the outcome. Like we're like, oh, I control the outcome too much. And Doug would be like, my shadow work integration coach, would be like, isn't control awesome? And I'm like, huh? I thought control was bad. He's like, isn't it awesome? Isn't control just such a good thing? And he does this Jedi mind trick stuff on us sometimes, but then it was like, whoa. We start to feel, there's nothing wrong with this, it's just I need to learn how to use it in a more malleable, flexible way, you see? But the wanting of a new experience, so the wanting equals lack. Now, the thing that I like to teach and I like to focus on is on being. It's on being naturally the identity that you prefer to be, the more authentic you. If I was trying to make daily YouTube videos back in 2017, and I kept my old 9 to 5 job identity of me working in women's shoes, it would've been very, very challenging. But after about a week or two of doing that, it switched my identity. I started to, instead of focusing on what other people, I started thinking, instead of like focusing on people telling me what to do at my 9 to 5 job, I started taking initiative. There's also a different value system in working a 9 to 5 job to working for yourself. If you give a fuck about what you're, you know, it's like you can give a fuck about having the security of a job, of people telling you what to do and having that secure paycheck every 2 weeks or whatever. That's something you give a fuck about and then you keep doing it. I stopped giving a fuck about that. Not that I like immediately made that switch, but I started giving more of a fuck about me creating my dream life, me making videos and doing what was most expressive and passionate for myself. So my value system changed. So if you want to create a bridge between you working your 9 to 5 job to you working for yourself, you have to change your values. You change your values from getting a lot of security and safety and other people telling you what to do to then making a switch to starting taking your own initiative. You'll work, you will work more when you're doing what you love than when you're working a 9 to 5 job, but you'll love it and it won't feel like work. I went from 40 hours a week of working that 9 to 5 job to working that 9 to 5 job plus working 20, 30 hours a week making videos. So I was working like 60 hours a week. But then after 4 or 5 months, I quit that 9 to 5 job and did that full-time. And I was probably still working 30 to 40 hours a week, but I got to do what I want when I wanted. Nobody told me what to do. I valued, I gave more of a fuck about me telling myself what to do and be able to take lunch when I wanted to do than people telling me what to do and getting talked down to by upper management. I didn't have to do that anymore. Because my values changed. So realize that this isn't about just wanting, this is about shifting your identity and choosing a new value system, choosing a value system you give a fuck about. That's what changed everything for me. When I look at my life and how this last year I've shed the people pleaser mentality that I had for a long time, I've shed the mentality of the nice guy thing, That was just a different value system. The nice guy and the people pleaser, they value what other people think of them more than they know what they think about them because they get safety in other people's validation because that's maybe what they got as kids. I switched my values. I started saying, what is more authentic for me? What, even though maybe it requires some tension, being honest with people, but as I started to do it, I started to feel a new sense of identity. I started having honest conversations, being more authentic, and guess what? I started to feel more empowered, changed everything. So one of the things that you can realize for this is the wanting equals lack. So instead of wanting, focus on being, focus on the identity, on you stepping into a new version of you. As I did that, my whole life changed. My life over the last 4 or 5 years has been a series of letting go of the old identities and wiring in new ones. Even now, you know, like I'm coming at grips, I think that the loss of like, me always just making YouTube videos the way that I used to and starting to do live events is scary to me because I've gotten so much safety and so much validation, so much approval for making 2,000 videos on YouTube. And when I read a comment from somebody that says, Aaron's repetitive and his energy's this or that, I'm like, oh, maybe it's like my soft spot, my weak point, you know? But I'm realizing that I gotta get more to my core and trust this process of shedding the old and also wiring in like a new way of being, a new value system where I'm like passionate about what I do. Maybe I feel like I've lost a little bit of the passion that I used to have because I feel like I've touched on most topics that I'm like passionate about talking about. I'm not gonna start making like automotive videos or anything 'cause I'm not passionate about that, you know, even though I've never talked about it before. So the fourth thing with not giving a fuck that will help you raise your vibration is just simply looking at your values. What are you valuing right now? Values are kind of like beliefs, but they're more of like points, they're virtues you live by. Most of our values though have been given us by our friends, our family growing up, our peer group, our society, the news, the media. And we give a shit about things that we really don't need to give a fuck about. You know, like looking, you know, a lot of what marketing is, like when you look at like cosmetics and all this stuff, it's like you could be a little bit more beautiful. You could be this, you could be that, but you're not. And in this lack mentality, you're more likely to buy so that you can finally be enough. And that's what marketers know that are selling stuff like that. So the key to this is starting to realize, well, what do I value? What do I value? My friend, well, yeah, my friend who is Heather's best friend, she has like armpit hair, she has like, she doesn't really shave her legs. She just, her value system is I don't give a fuck. I'm not conforming to that of what everybody else is doing, of whatever else says is beautiful. So when she comes over, a lot of times she'll be, you know, you'll be able to see it. And it's like, it's just natural. It's a different value system. And some people value shaving and all that stuff. And there's also nothing wrong with that. But what I admire is that she lives by her values and she's not being told what to do by somebody else. Or by society, you know? So it's interesting, but when you start to become aware of these agreements, there's a book called "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, and it talks a lot about like these, everything's an agreement that we're making. We're making an agreement with our society, we're making an agreement with our family members, our friends, and a lot of these agreements are just on autopilot. We can choose a new one at any time, but we're just not aware of it. So we continue to live in old agreements. And these old stories, these old values. And you can change your values. But one of the first things you have to do is you have to become aware of your values. You have to become aware of your values. And my values, I realized back in the day, was I was valuing significance, which maybe actually drove me to make videos and stuff like that to like be worthy and to prove people wrong that thought, that didn't believe that, you know, I was able to like be full-time on YouTube or something, I don't know. But also I valued whether people thought of me, being a people pleaser. I valued, you know, one of the biggest things too that I'll talk about in a minute is being right. We try so hard to be right about things. We get a dirty high, like a dopamine high for being right, even if being right doesn't equal happiness. I'll talk more about that in a minute. But the values, what values are you living by? What value can you let go of that you've been living by that somebody else maybe gave you? Maybe it's the value of, you know, like Tony Robbins talks a lot about this too. He talks about certainty and uncertain, like the 6 main human values are like growth, contribution, certainty, uncertainty, significance, connection. Those are the 6 like natural, but there's many more than that, you know? But those are the 6 main ones that everybody needs. In order to be happy, or not to be happy. Those are the 6 needs. But if you value significance over connection, you'll have like a, you'll be seeking other people's validation more so than seeking like connection with other people. I started valuing authenticity over everything. And that means sometimes I have harsher conversations, you know, not that I'm like looking for reasons to gaslight friends or anything like that, but like if there's something, if somebody asks me a question and I'll tell them what I really think and how I really feel about something. And it's more authentic, even if it doesn't, even if it's not the people pleaser, like getting people, and it's not authentic anyways, by the way, people pleasing, nice guy, it's exchange. I'm gonna give you this and you're gonna gimme that. I'm gonna give you, like, be nice to you and maybe you'll gimme what I want. So it's a different value, but become aware of your values. And when you become aware of your values, it becomes a completely different game to where then you can let go of the, like the other things. You know, something interesting as well is like my girlfriend, for example, she really values like the food that she puts into her body. She values that of like high vibrational foods that make her feel a certain way. And it's interesting because like I'm in this calorie deficit right now where I'm eating specific foods and I value like having the right amount of food as well as food that makes me feel high vibe. but because I'm like, my goal, my value right now is like cutting some fat and then also eventually building muscle. But it's funny because I remember when I first started talking to Heather, she, I like went and bought her all this like vegan food at like Whole Foods and stuff to realize that everything I bought pretty much wasn't something she would really eat because it was like more processed. It was like Beyond Meat and stuff like that because her values, like only stuff that puts high vibration into her body to make her feel a certain way. So she drinks like 3 or 4 smoothies a day. She's always eating salads and stuff. And that's what makes her feel high vibe. That's her value system. There are some people that value stimulating foods that make them feel good in the short term, but bad in the long term. They feel good for an hour, but then they crash, right? Just a different value system. I see Heather like 2 or 3 times a day, she's putting Organifi Greens, which is like this powder that we have, into her smoothies and it's like making her feel a certain way, which is also something that I use, by the way. Organifi Greens is like this little powder that you put into your drinks. And what it helps is it's like getting a whole bunch of servings of superfoods without juicing or any of that stuff. You just put a scoop in, you drink it, helps give you energy, helps you feel also like manage cortisol levels and stuff like that. And it cleans out your body. You just feel so good. It's got ashwagandha, turmeric, all this other stuff in it. And if you guys haven't checked out Organifi yet, since you're subscribed to the podcast, you get 20% off your order if you go to organifi.com/aaron. Definitely recommend trying that. It's something that Heather and I use every single day. organifi.com/aaron. It's O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I.com/aaron. Get 20% off. So anyways, wanted to mention that as well because it's just a different value system, right? And that value system will have an effect on our body, which also affects our vibration. So that's something to think about as well when you're looking at this whole process. Now, the last thing I wanna talk about is this need, this desire we all have to be right. We may wanna be right about things that don't necessarily lead to happiness. I've been right about, you know, I've attracted people into my life like that I've, that I've sometimes had issues with, or people that specifically are working on my house. I remember that I had a maintenance person that was coming to my house, not a maintenance person, but, well, actually in a way, yes. I've had this belief that like people show up late, you know, which also, by the way, is a part of an abandonment wound. It's part of an abandonment wound where when somebody gets mad that someone shows up 5, 10 minutes late or even an hour late, if they really react to it, sometimes that could be an abandonment wound where we're afraid, like, kind of rubs that. I've realized that I've had maybe that too. But I've had this story that like back in Vegas, I had this guy that was really good at what he did, but he always showed up like 2, 3 hours late no matter what. I'd be like, "Hey, I'm going out, I'm going out. I gotta do this, I gotta do this." And be 2, 3 hours late every single time. But it's almost like I had a low sense of self-worth where I couldn't cut him off and find somebody new. It was interesting. But I was so right about him always being late and maybe that was reflecting back my own rigidity. But it kept this pattern going because I was always like, oh, this always happens. I would get triggered by it, always get angry about it. And then also sometimes not being able to trust people that working on my house in a way. Like they would walk into my house, now that I've become successful, there's like this belief or this story I have that when people walk into my house and they see that I have a big house and like nice things, that they like, I've noticed this, they up the prices on things. Maybe it's my own limiting belief and my own agreement, I don't know. They're like, oh, like something, I give a quote for something. I got a quote the other, not too long ago for something. And then someone came over to work on this thing. And then when they left, it was like $200 more expensive than what they quoted me at. And my assistant told me about it and I'm like, no, that's not what we agreed on. I would've chosen someone else if that was the price to get this job done, you know? And it was, it's an interesting thing that keeps coming up for me. And I'm like, am I just being rigid or what is going on? The peak of it was I had somebody in Sedona that I overpaid. I paid $17,000 to have some stuff done as one of the payments to have this house remodeled. And he took so long to get it done. So it's the timing issue, right? And then by the end of it, I wanted to rent out the house. And I'm like, "Dude, I don't have time to let you do this because you said it'd be done 3 months ago and it's not done. So I need like this money back." And I had to fight tooth and— He spent the money. And he didn't wanna give it to me back. He was like claiming that he gave me discounts on other things, other things he's done, so like I shouldn't ask for the money back. And I'm like, no, you straight up did not do like $12,000, $8,000 worth of stuff 'cause of your timing, so I need that back. And I only got like $3,000 back, but it's just a big dramatic thing. And I'm like, I felt so, I think, angry. When I felt angry, I felt right. But I realized that that just wasn't making me happy. So I've learned that there's more red flags with people that I can like cut off. In a way, not in an emotional, angry way, but I don't have to always be right about this kind of stuff. Like even though I'm right and I feel high, you literally will feel high sometimes when you're in the anger frequency, but you might be right. Like you might say, oh, see, all men act this way, all women act this way, all men take advantage of this, or all women are like this, they're all this way, whatever that story is. You might be trying to be right about it, but being right does not mean it's gonna make you happy. So the thing that I encourage you to do is to become aware of the being right thing, 'cause that also is related to giving a fuck in the sense that you give a fuck about like what someone said about you or this, or like this person doing this. And I realized the more I let go and the more I just with awareness chose something new was the more powerful it became. When it comes to not giving a fuck and not being attached to outcome, one of the most important things is confidence. Now, one of the most powerful videos I've made recently is 5 Secrets to Confidence That Make You Attractive AF. Check that video out right here and have a good day. People feel what you feel about you. The energy inside of our bodies are contagious, and based on how we feel about ourselves, that energy is being emanated out, and other people are responding to us based on that