6 tips for attracting love in your 30's

In your 30s, it could be the most abundant time to attract love than any other time of your life. And for some people, it is. For some people, it's the exact opposite. What happens is there's this kind of clock ticking in their head and they're feeling like, now is my time. If it's not happening, there's this resistance that's created. And then that gets put into the dating process. And that literally blocks people from coming into your reality, from having those perspectives and from embodying that energy. So in this video, I wanna share with you the 6 tips for attracting love if you're 30 or older that will completely transform your life and allow you to finally allow in the relationship that you want. Now, this is stuff that I have shared with many coaching clients. This is stuff that I've seen in many of my friends' lives. This is things energetically I've experienced in my own life when I talk about the transformation and the energy embodiment that you can begin to take on, it changes everything. Now imagine that there are opportunities all around you, but what happens is there's beliefs there and there's an energy there that's literally blocking them from coming into your life. This is the funny thing about attracting love. Many people believe it's like, I'm here, I'm attracting love from over there to over here. It's not actually that way. When you make the inner shifts and you let go, what I'm gonna be talking about in this video, you will notice that it comes in very quick because the energy resonant is like already there. It's just you're blocking it from coming into your life. I've seen this happen not only in my own life, but in other people's lives and friends where when they make these inner shifts, it's like there was almost someone that was trying to make their way in, but it just never actually lined up. But then all of a sudden they energetically shift and it just comes in. Sometimes it's somebody that's like they've known for a while. Sometimes it's somebody that they used to have an attraction to. Sometimes it's somebody completely new that comes out of nowhere, but it's very magical the way this happens. So for this, let's first understand that when it comes to dating in your 30s, realize that what meaning you give that is going to affect the results you get. Now, the first tip for attracting love in your 30s is that if you believe that your time is over, then it will be. If you believe, oh, my prime time was at the age of 23 years old and I'm not 23 anymore and it hasn't happened yet, it hasn't happened yet, if that's the belief, then what is the energy that you're gonna be carrying? Now this one thing alone I have seen shift so many people's lives is understanding how much your belief about how you show up in dating affects your ability to attract love, your ability to attract in new opportunities. So if you believe now is my time and now in your 30s, you're probably more authentically you than you were in your 20s. Think about that. If you were to attract love in your 20s, when I think about when I was like 20, 22, I was kind of an idiot. I was very much like, I could tell when I was 20, 22, I was very much looking for validation. I could tell when I was 20 or 22, I did not know who I was. I was working selling women's shoes at Barneys New York in Las Vegas, and I would get into relationships with people that just felt comfortable. It just felt familiar to be in. And I would always attract a relationship that was a reflection of my energy back in my 20s. So for example, I worked a 9-to-5 job I hated. Guess who I'd date? I would date woman that also worked 9 to 5 jobs they hated. So what we'd go do is we'd work the job we hated for 5 days a week and then we'd go home at the end of the weekend and we would just complain about how much we didn't like our jobs. And we'd have like 1 or 2 days to go out to eat, to do things, and then we had to go back into a 5-day work week. Now, interestingly enough, once I started, you know, literally around 26, 27 years old is when I started to kind of like, I guess that's when they say Saturn return and all that stuff. But basically what happened is I started committing to daily videos on YouTube. I started embodying my purpose. My whole entire life transformed within 6 months. But then what kind of woman do you think I dated then? Once I was full-time on YouTube, I would only find myself dating women that were also full-time on YouTube. Well, actually, actually that was kind of true for a little bit, but but dating women that did what they love. So when I did what I love, I attracted people that did what they love. My energy shifted. Now, the positive part of you dating in your 30s is that most likely you are more the authentic you than you were in your 20s. And by authentic you, you probably have more self-awareness, you're probably more wise, you're probably living your purpose more than you were when you were in your 20s. So guess what? You're more likely to meet someone that is also doing what they love, that is also more self-aware of themselves because you attract a one-on-one reflection to the energy you embody. So instead of believing my time was up, believe my time is now. I'm in my 30s, I know more of who I am than I ever have before. I know every year that goes on, I understand more and more about myself I am more confident than I was a year ago, than I was even 2 years ago. Like every year I get more confident. Every year I feel more in my own magnetic frame. So the meaning you give to dating in your 30s is going to affect the reality that you experience. Your beliefs create your reality. Now, my buddies give me shit for this, by the way, in some ways, because I am younger than 2 of my best friends. They're 6 or 7 years older than me or yeah, different. They're a little bit older than me. And when we talk about age, they're like, you know, a couple years older. So they're like, oh, you know, once you get this age, then it's like you don't recover as much. This happens, this happened, this happens. You'll understand then because here I am with all of this. I have so much energy and they're like, oh, that's gonna, you know, they're not, trying to like gaslight me or make me feel like, oh, it's gonna get so bad. But funny enough, one day we were talking, they were talking about age and stuff, and I said this and they're like, easy coming from you who's like much younger than us. But basically I have this idea that like based on what your beliefs are about aging goes into how you age. And what happens is if you believe every year I get older, every year I'm gonna get, like I'm gonna get more tired, I'm not gonna recover as easily or whatever, then I believe that's more likely to become your reality. Now I say that and they're like, oh, age is just a belief. And they kind of like make fun of me saying that. But the thing is, is every year I do believe that I become more and more confident, more and more magnetic, more and more attractive, more and more healthy in a way. I look better now than I did 2 or 3 years ago. Like my physique, I choose to believe that. And because I believe, I believe that. Not to say something can't happen and there can't be a little hiccup here or there. I'm just saying in general, if you believe that every year it's gonna get worse and worse and worse and your health's gonna decline worse and worse and worse, then guess what? It'll accelerate that process. So your beliefs about age, I do believe, affect How you respond. Now I will say as well though, I see people that try to escape age, right? They're like, there's like certain biohackers and stuff. They're like, oh, don't age, do this, do that. And it's almost like the more they do, the quicker they age because they're resisting their aging process. I think getting older is a beautiful thing. And if the more you own it, like here's the thing, the more you own your age and like getting older and seeing that as a benefit, the more confidence you're gonna embody, the more people are gonna feel that off of you. It's like a freckle or something. If it was on a certain part of your face and you're like, oh, everyone's looking at my freckle, everyone's looking at this. Ooh, they don't like me. They said something kind of weird. Maybe it's 'cause of my freckle. Then your energy kind of shrivels up and then people feel that energy off of you. But if you own your freckle, you embody a different energy. So one of the main parts of this is understanding how you carry your energy is being emanated out and other people are feeling that. If you thought that was powerful, then this next tip is the one that I've seen so many times giving this to thousands of people in coaching programs, friends even, and I've noticed that when people begin to embody this tip, it completely transforms everything, and it's very simple. When it comes to attracting love, what you can begin to do is to let go of it even happening. Now, as I say that, you might be like, what do you mean? I want it to happen though, Aaron. What I'd like for you to do is to even observe the belief that it has to happen at all. Now, the reason is, is because what happens is we believe it needs to happen and then we put pressure on ourselves and then we're looking around. If it's not happening, then we create more and more resistance. I have seen so many people that when I tell them to enjoy the present moment and to let go of it happening and to enjoy the process of being single, as they do that, as they shift, people just start, opportunities just start coming in because energetically there's more of a, there's no control in the process. I noticed in my own life, there was a period of time I went through where there was, I was like looking or wondering, like what's wrong? Like here I am embodying my purpose and I felt like there was some energetic block. There's something going on. Why isn't this happening? And then I would like push myself to like go on dates or to put myself out there in many ways. And I realized the more I would try, the more I would resist. It was freaky. When I let go of even trying and I started to enjoy being single, It was crazy the amount of opportunities that came in like that. And all I did was let go of the outcome. And before, it was funny, it was like I thought I needed a relationship, so I was like looking for it, wondering who's it gonna be, blah, blah, blah. Deep down, there's a part of me I think that was looking for validation as well. But once I let that go and I realized that though other people do not have the validation I'm looking for, only I have it, But what happened is I started to appreciate my own energy. I started to realize how much I love being alone in my own house. Before, I always would try to resist it because I was trying to resist feeling whatever I was feeling that it, that was representing to me. Then what happened is I realized how much I love being in my own energy at the end of the night, studying things I'm studying, I had a new level of appreciation where I realized, you know what, I thought and believed I needed this, I don't need it. It might be nice and whenever it's meant to happen, it will. But the funny thing was, is once I shifted into really appreciating my own energy and realizing how much I love being in my own frame, being in my own energy, the freedom I have to go do what I want when I wanna do it. There were sometimes I was in relationships and I would notice that it would take energy a certain level of energy that sometimes after a while become kind of like a lot to maintain. I'm like, you know what, I have this complete freedom. And I know right now as well that this is a phase of my life of like building this new era where I'm doing live events and I have all these things planned for the year. It's like a new era for me, but it's like, oh, this is actually so easy. This is so empowering. This is so fun. I started to associate being single with not, I'm not worthy, or it's aloneness. I started seeing it as more of like, I changed the meaning of it, reframed it, let go of the outcome and started to appreciate myself. And as I started to appreciate myself, it changed the way I was embodying that energy. The third tip for attracting love in your 30s that I've seen hold back a lot of people is people believe that they need to be completely healed in order for them to attract love. Now, in many ways, I see how this belief could be there. I've had times where I'm going through my own stuff and I'm like, well, if you only attract an equal reflection of where you are and I could tell there's still some stuff I need to heal on the inside, then what I would do is I would block out and almost like energetically believe that I wasn't, it was like a belief that I'm not there yet, I'm not good enough yet, I need to heal more before I can do that. I've seen this happen and hold a lot of people back even in different areas of their life too. You know, people wanna be on YouTube. And back in 2017, before I got on YouTube, I felt like, who am I to be on YouTube? I need to heal more. I need to learn more. I need to make more money so that then I have, I embody in a different energy so that people actually wanna listen to me. But that wasn't actually the answer. The key was me leaning into that of the intimacy of making videos, the intimacy of a relationship, and realizing that the way you heal is through relationship. That's part of it. Doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship to heal. There can be definitely a very big benefit in going inwards for a period of time. I've been through many phases where I just kind of like go inwards. I've seen people where after a breakup or something, they immediately get into another relationship to avoid the feelings or to avoid the rejection or whatever it was. I've been in relationships where after I go into a little cocoon and I just heal. But then eventually I could keep going through layers and layers and layers of healing, but then eventually I realized, you know what? It's like, it's gonna happen whenever it's meant to happen in whatever way it's supposed to happen. Sometimes it's like by myself and sometimes it's with other people. So understand if there's a belief there, you notice what about the first 3 we were talking about right now, they're all beliefs because whatever you believe to be true is what you experience a reality of. So if you believe you need to be more healed, you believe it really means you believe you're not ready or not good enough. And what you wanna do is you wanna look at that. And there's a deeper core here when we get to number 4 that changed everything for me in my own personal life. And that is that when we are younger, what happens is if we believe it's the emotion of shame, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me, What happens is we'll go out and we'll date, but if underneath the energy it's, there's something wrong with me, I don't feel like I deserve you, I don't feel like I deserve love, then what happens is we literally will block the opportunities from coming into our lives. We'll literally have an energy that just feels a little bit off to the other person because we have this suppressed energy inside of our bodies that hasn't been brought up yet. Now for me, one big thing that I can see that affected me even before the ex-stepmom stuff was when I was 2 or 3 years old, my mom, her dad died. And when her dad died, she went through an extremely emotional process. She told me she lost like 15 or 20 pounds. She wasn't eating, she wasn't sleeping that much. And I imagine the 2 or 3-year-old Aaron, and I imagine that my mom was going through so much stuff that she probably was in her own head. I could just see it, her in her own head, like feeling all the pain of her dad dying. And she had some, when he died, it was like this big emotional process that put my mom through 'cause my mom also had energy within that dynamic that was like traumatic in the family dynamic. So there was like, it was probably processing a whole bunch of stuff. But what happened, what I imagined happened is I was a baby, 2 or 3 years old, looking up at mom for either validation, for approval, for nurturing. And there she is going through this process, not sleeping, just in her head like this. And in a moment, little Aaron may have been like, there's something wrong, mom's not present, what's wrong, there's something wrong, there's something wrong, feeling anxious like there's something wrong with me. Maybe I'm not good enough. Maybe if I change myself a little bit, maybe mom will be okay. Like, what do I need to do? And what then happens is there's a belief that happens that says there's something wrong with me and there's something wrong in general. And what I found is that that energy, then even fast forward a little bit after that, very common thing that happens in families is parents divorce. When parents divorce, as kids, we internalize everything. They divorced, not they weren't good for each other or they couldn't handle their stuff or whatever. They must have divorced 'cause of me. Something I did caused that. That's what little kids think. There's something wrong with me. So then if there's a belief there, an emotion, shame says something wrong with me and it's not processed, then what happens is as you go through your life, you end up experiencing more and more of a reflection of that. You're dating someone, You're subconsciously letting this energy be there of, there's something wrong with me. They feel that and they're like, okay, there is something wrong with you. It's an energetic thing that hasn't been processed. Now, one of the biggest healing things in my life is the phrase I'm about to share with you. Your mom or dad's divorce when you were younger, if they divorced, maybe if you had a dad or a mom that cheated on the other, maybe if you had somebody that was physically or emotionally abusive to you or physically or emotionally unavailable to you, Maybe you felt abandoned growing up. Maybe mom or dad wasn't able to meet your needs when you were younger. The message is that it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault. So many times we believe that, oh, this is something to do with me. Maybe I caused this. Maybe if I was different, if I did this, if I did that. It's not your fault. And when you start soaking in the feeling of like understanding it's not my fault, you stop internalizing it. You then see, oh, it's not 'cause I wasn't worthy, just they had their own stuff to deal with. That was their stuff to deal with, not mine. Even when I look at growing up from 7 to 15, having the whole abusive stepmom in my life, I could say, see, there was something wrong with me. I'm not worthy. I deserve to be punished for every little thing. I deserve that. I could have internalized that, but then wait, I saw, this is where a lot of healing happened actually. I saw the reason my ex-stepmom treated me that way is because she was treated that way from her dad. She's a narcissist because her dad was that way with her and that's how she had to survive. Now I'm not saying it made it right. I wouldn't look back at my childhood and was like, oh, thank God I got treated that way for so long and I had no freedom. But what I realized, I was able to understand a little bit more and it helped me forgive. It helped me realize, oh, it's not my fault. It's not my internalization. I do not need to internalize this because when people go out and date, I mean, you can watch videos like this, by the way, and you can see people like, oh, well, this is what you say in this situation and here's the texting script that you say and all that. To me, that's all, surface-level fluff because it doesn't get down to the core identity. And when you release the trapped emotions, it frees you to so many different things. So questioning the belief in that shame and letting yourself feel— here's the thing about emotion. When you let yourself feel it and you welcome it in, it begins to dissolve. When you don't let yourself feel the emotion and you try to avoid it and you try to watch Netflix, you try to do all these other things, You get out of a relationship, you get into another one to avoid the feeling, the shame, the broken, the feeling of feeling broken or the abandonment. Feel it, let yourself feel it. When you feel it, you heal it. And even beyond that, when you feel it, you integrate it. You integrate the past and you allow yourself to elevate your vibration. Now, take this a step deeper. I'll share with you the one experience that completely transformed my own dating life and also just my own like energy in general was actually when I became part of a breathwork practice where I got certified in breathwork. I got certified in breathwork where you breathe in a specific pattern and it brings up a lot of the emotions. I've done them in my 21-day challenges. I've seen 20,000 people go through 'em. They're so transformative. I've done them a few times, but then I got certified about last year in September. And as I was getting certified, part of it is you go through the breathwork process. You go through and you receive the breathwork. And when I was doing the breathwork and going through it, there was always this feeling inside of myself where in past relationships, I was being told, "You're not emotionally available." And I get told that, and the funny thing, the interesting thing was, well, It was almost like, I don't know if this is a similar energy 'cause I know that like I've always, business for me has always been a priority because I love my business, I love what I do and I do focus a lot on my business. So sometimes in relationships I'll be with someone that's like, you know, they like during the day I'll be focused on my business because also I work from home. So like there's always an interesting thing because most people go to a 9 to 5 job where they leave the house and then they come home and they don't have to think about work. When you work from home or you travel, like I'm like kind of always working in a way because I don't have like a 9 to 5 place that I go. So I'm at home, there'd be this feeling of like if I'm around a partner, I have a girlfriend and she's like, you know, like noon or something like that, there'd be like this, she'd always see me working and it's like, oh, he's always working. And then there was a story, he's not emotionally available. And I was feeling like, oh, I'm not emotionally available. And then eventually what happened is I do this breathwork practice and I realized that it was a while before, like it's been years since I've really cried. Like I'd cry, I watched the movie, what was that movie? Braveheart, I cried. There's movies I'd watch where I cry. But then what happened is I was in breathwork, laying there, breathing in the specific pattern, really bringing up this whole emotional availability thing. But what happened was in front of me, there was this woman that began yelling and I could tell she had been through some type of sexual trauma just by the way she was screaming, the energy of it and what she was yelling. In these breathwork ceremonies, people, energy comes up, you cry, you yell, you laugh. It's pretty much unsuppressed emotion comes up. And in it, this woman starts screaming. And in that moment, before that, I could feel myself starting to cry. And one of the practitioners came over to me and he was trying to help me facilitate the release and I would release, but I wouldn't, there were no tears. But then what happened is the second round, that woman busted out screaming that sexual trauma and releasing that. And as she released that, I could feel in my body the energy that stemmed from my mom's lineage of her family because my mom's side of her family has been through a lot of sexual trauma. And the moment that that lady started screaming, I had a huge release where I could feel my mom's energy and all of a sudden I began crying. I began having tears flow down my face. I was like uncontrollably crying and releasing all the energy that it felt like it was in my body from my mom's side of the family and that lineage of all that sexual trauma. And what happened is I released that energy and I felt like there was a new level of emotional availability I opened up to, a new level of sensitivity. In my heart. And you wanna know what happened after that? After that, within days of clearing that energy and having this huge emotional breakthrough, there was information and things that happened in my own personal life with the relationship that I was in at the time that came to the surface that couldn't be suppressed any longer. And in a moment, or within days, something happened to where I ended that relationship. And it was a good thing that this happened. And also it was a huge energetic shift of freedom because now I was saying no to an old energy pattern. It's almost like you meet people that are at the level that you're at. And then when you break, I literally broke through to a new level of emotional availability. And when that happened, I just, it's like it couldn't sustain the relationship that I was in. Because I'd grown past it. And as I grew past that relationship, it was like I realized as well that the whole time I thought that I was emotionally unavailable, I actually was emotionally available. I could tell I was working on myself, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. It was just, there was a certain level of, I think sometimes people identify, they think that codependency and emotional availability is the same thing. Basically what happens, years ago I broke out of codependency about a year and a half, 2 years ago. And as I broke out of codependency, it was like there was a new way of relating to love. And if someone else is codependent, what happens is they're like, you're not loving me enough, you're not this enough. And it's like, no, it's just I'm not used to, you know, some people I think need that obsession energy or that, you know, they need someone to need them. And then I realized emotional unavailability me is different than that. Now, in an interesting way, a buddy of mine had the exact, I'm not like, had the exact opposite experience where he got certified in this breathwork and then he met his partner within days because he energetically leveled up his energy. And within days he met his partner that he's been with for 2 years now. So funny enough, when you process this emotion, it can have an extraordinarily powerful effect on your own energy. And for me, It broke me out of a relationship, but into a completely new level of healing and freedom. And for my buddy, it brought him into a relationship. So I'm just saying that you, it's not a bad thing if you break up with someone, if you outgrow that energy. And that's what happened with me. And now there's a new level of myself, a new dimension of myself that I've opened up to, to where dating is very easy for me. It's not something I seek out. For a while, it's funny, for a while I was like, oh, dating apps or this or that. And then slowly but surely I'm like, what the hell am I doing? And I stopped doing that. And then I realized that there was always options around, there was always opportunities and options and amazing people to connect to. It's just that I was in like a, for a while I was in a bubble phase of healing. But then once I moved through that, then I was actually ready. And then it was like, oh, It doesn't have to, this isn't complicated. So funny enough, it's like the more you release that emotion, the more you open yourself up to like new levels of this connection. Now something, by the way, if you're interested in that breathwork that I'm talking about, if you haven't checked it out yet, there's a free app you can get on Apple or Android. It's called High Viber. And basically it's an app that you can join where there's a monthly challenge in there. There's guided meditations in there. There's a community of people in there. It's off Facebook, it's a separate app. And to join you could just download it on Apple or Android, but monthly challenges we do in there and occasionally we do breathworks, that breathwork that I'm talking about. So if you wanna join it, I'll link it below as well. But I'm now putting a lot of energy into this app that I used to have that I put all my energy back into and it's gonna be fun for us all to collectively raise our vibration together. And the main thing with that, by the way, is live activations and meditations. There's a power to group energy that when we do changes everything. Now, the fifth thing I wanna share when it comes to attracting love in your 30s is sometimes what can happen is there's a certain level of pickiness. And sometimes having a standard is a good thing. At the same time, having a standard, what I realized in my own life is there was a time where I was, I could tell that I was blocking potentials from coming into my life 'cause I was being so picky. Like, think about it. You might have a list of the ideal partner. And what I recommend you do is instead of having a list of your ideal partner with all these like physical traits and all these things, he's gotta be this color of eyes, this color of hair, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What you wanna do instead is think of the energy and the values that you have and that person resonating with that within yourself. So think about it like what I realized I was doing for a long time is I would have this ridiculously high standard where it was so many crazy things on one hand, And this belief that like she needs to be spiritual, she needs to like be into this kind of content, into this kind of inner work. At the same time, she needs to not know who I am. She needs to like, not until she meets me or whatever, then there, which I'm in the spirituality, like, you know, there were so many weird things that were like rules that I could tell were just limiting the options more and more. But what happened is what I then did is I started seeing dating as a way of like getting feedback, seeing what I like, what I don't like, what I resonate with, what I don't resonate with, what's important to me, what's not important to me. And as I stopped judging the woman I would date, it was like the, it's like as I was judging them and having this really picky checklist, I was attracting people that also had a very picky checklist or lots of judgments, or they would just feel that energy of that judgment coming from me and it would like, It wasn't attractive to them. So what I'd recommend you do is focus more on the qualities that you want them to have, on the values you want them to have, and then to embody those yourself. And what happens is as you're not judging so much, you'll find, that was a huge epiphany for me, is I realized that also that pickiness was a defense mechanism from intimacy because the more specific I could be, subconsciously, it was like I was avoiding getting into the relationship or meeting a person because there was that, that was like an armor in a way. So one thing I highly recommend you do is not be so picky, but at the same time, have a standard. Don't waste your time with like being in relationships with people that aren't choosing you. Don't waste your time. And at the same time, enjoy the process, enjoy the moment. Now, if you thought that was powerful, the most important thing of this whole entire video, if there's one concept that changes your life more than anything else throughout this video, understand that the energy that you embody is the reflection that you attract. So in your 30s, if you think of it as a disservice to be in your 30s, if you're kind of self-conscious about being in your 30s, if you feel like your time's going out, the energy you embody is very different than realizing this is your time. You are more authentic and more in your expression than ever before. Realize the degree to which you can embody that love now is the degree to which you experience a reality reflection of it. One of the most powerful meditations, the most powerful meditation I have that has over 6 million views and tens of thousands of comments from people saying they attracted love using it, I'm not even kidding, you can check it out, by clicking the link right here. Do this meditation for 21 days. Read the comments so that you believe it can happen for you too. And as you embody that energy, watch how much your life changes. It's right here.