An Unpopular View on Narcissism that may change your perspective

This video is an unpopular view on the idea of narcissism. I'm gonna be sharing with you how to know if you have maybe some narcissistic traits, or if somebody you know maybe has that, and exactly what you can do to either help someone else or to help and heal yourself. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron, and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm going to be sharing with you more on narcissism, narcissistic traits, narcissistic characteristics, and how to really cure those. The reason I'm doing this video actually is because I have a whole series on this. I'll go ahead and link it below in case you're interested. One of them's on why narcissists don't get their karma, and the other one is on narcissism and understanding how to, uh, why you may have attracted that into your life, either a narcissist or a sociopath. And I say this from experience because I have had someone in my life that was or is still a narcissist, but I don't have to deal with it anymore. It's my ex-stepmom. Between the ages of 7 to 15 years old, I had to deal with her. She was a mix of what you'd call a narcissist and a sociopath, and she would manipulate people to have stories go out in certain ways. She would really take away and in a way feed on other people's energy and other people's power, and it was always about her. And even to this day, my dad still has to deal with her. and it's something that I'm able to see even in my half-sister, who— that's their, you know, we have the same dad, different mom. Their mom, uh, is this person who was my ex-stepmom. So I see what they have to go through as well. And there's certain things that I've learned from being in it from 7 to 15 years old. There's certain things I've learned from seeing my dad continue to go through it as my sisters are growing up. And it's something that I also have made those videos on, on how I navigated through that and how to deal with someone. But there's a passionate part of me that wants to also make a video for people that maybe feel like they have narcissistic traits or characteristics. And I say that because when I make those videos and I make that content, I've had people reach out to me on Instagram, say, well, what, what do I do if I feel like I have those characteristics? Like, they feel like in a way those videos may be, you know, people always talk about the, you know, the people that are the victims of narcissistic traits and characteristics, but what about the people that actually feel like they have those traits? And they feel there's something really wrong with them. And the way that I wanna share this is an unpopular view because it a lot of times will favor the person that's the victim. I was a victim of it, so, you know, or what you consider to be that, of somebody that definitely experienced the negative side effects of it. However, I wanna explain it in a way where if someone is a narcissist watching this video, I want you to know that there is hope. And it's not like this is who you are forever. I want you to see also, I'm gonna be sharing this in a different perspective. It really has to do with integrating your ego. And everyone has an ego. Everyone has an ego. One of the things about physical experience is that we have this thing called an ego that we interpret reality through. The thing is, is sometimes what happens is we become overly identified with the ego. And when we're growing up, This is when we start to learn patterns and behaviors about survival that then cause certain people, that people that are, that have narcissistic traits or qualities, cause certain people to then survive based on taking from the energy from other people, not even knowing it sometimes. So the key to any of this is first off awareness and also forgiveness, forgiveness of the self as well. One thing that really helped me when I went through my spiritual awakening back in 2012, I already had been like 7 years without ever having to see my ex-stepmom. But the, the thing that really helped me was learning how to forgive her and realize that she went through a lot of pain growing up, and that's kind of what molded her into the kind of person that she is today. So in a way, she was most likely, as a teenager, she was reprimanded in a certain way, and she learned that behavior and then acted out against other people. You know, people that are bullies are normally bullied when they're a kid or at a certain age, and that caused them to become a bully. Because that's how they felt that they had to act out. Now, once I really forgave my ex-stepmom, it really helped. And I realized that if you seek first to understand rather than to be understood, it helps quite a bit. And I just realized that she'd been, you know, that there's a reason she is that way, and it, it came from some of the growing up and some of the things that she learned. Now, first off, narcissism. What is exactly narcissism? Narcissism is an inability to to see beyond the self. And that's when the ego integration comes into place. I've recently been looking into this a little bit more because I think that it's a misunderstood thing in society and that if we approach it from a level of compassion, there's a different level of results that we're gonna get from it rather than the other side of the spectrum that kind of happens sometimes when we, uh, when we go through different processes. Now, I was actually talking to a buddy of mine about this the other day too. There's two sides of the spectrum. So what this has to do with is ego integration. Now, on one side of it, we have that of what you could call a narcissist, and the narcissist is in survival mode and many times has that inflated sense of self-importance because that helps with survival. That attention kind of feeds it in a way. And it feeds on the external energy. Many times the external energy of others. That's a very common thing with the ego. Think of it like the ego in a way has locked into place and it has been emphasized in the person that is a narcissist. Now a lot of times what it's a hardening of the ego structure and then it's an identification with this is who I am. And the, the thing about the ego is the ego will do whatever it can to survive, not just survive with the, with food and shelter, but the ego will do whatever it can to survive in its image of itself. So if it's trying to— has this inflated sense of self-importance and it needs that energy from other people in order to feel powerful, then it will do anything it can to, to retrieve that. Now here's the thing, on the other side of the spectrum, the person that the narcissist normally is around is normally going to be somebody that maybe needs to learn how to develop their ego structure. Say they lack that ego structure, they lack that boundaries. So in a way, it's a lesson, and it's maybe sometimes a harsh lesson for the person that's not the narcissist, but it helps this person learn how to be and to develop the ego structure. So in one, there's an over-identification with the ego structure, and in the other, there's a lack of a built of that ego structure and the boundaries that, that ego structure can have. Now, there is a difference, and the reason I say that there is a there is— you don't have to— if you look online, it'll say that narcissism is never cured ever. And I believe that— I believe that through meditation and through levels of awareness, anything is possible. I believe that when people have a spiritual awakening, they then go beyond the ego identity and they realize that they're more than that. And really what narcissism is, is it's an inability to see through someone else, through someone else's eyes. We're given the ability when we come here to be able to see life through other people's eyes, through empathy. And many times that empathy will be lacked because it is emphasizing the survival. So narcissism, and the word narcissism in of itself, will keep people in a little bubble. And then everyone else calls them a narcissist and it keeps them within that little bubble. And what I would recommend may be more powerful is to look at that word of a narcissist and start to let go of the label in of itself. Because if there's a difference when somebody says that— if someone says, I'm depressed, there's a difference between saying I'm depressed and I'm having depressing thoughts. Now the thing is, is at a certain point in the past, normally narcissism is something that is learned at a young age through watching other parents. So at a developmental stage of the ego, it then looks to the parents or it looks to the external and says, oh, I get rewarded if I emphasize this, the ego structure. So then it continues to go through that. Now, the key, and one of the things that will really help a narcissist, someone that has narcissistic traits, heal is first off becoming aware. Awareness is always the first key. If you become aware, you start to loosen that trap. Narc— I'll tell you this as well, most people that are very deep within the narcissistic narcissistic label wouldn't even watch this video 9 to 10 minutes in. I'll tell you that right now. Most narcissistic people would not watch this video this far in. So if somebody sent this video to you and you're 9 minutes in, I would say that most likely you are at a level of awareness now to where you're becoming aware of this label and you're becoming aware of this mentality, of the survival mechanism, the self-importance. And maybe you're like, yeah, you know, I do kind of I do want that validation from other people and, and I do sometimes take power, take from other people. They're, you know, want to, sometimes I put other people down because it makes me feel better. Well, guess what? You're becoming aware of it now. And when you become aware of it now, you start to lessen the amount of power that this label and this ego structure, this ego structure has over you. It's always awareness that begins to free you. Now the key to this is knowing that one of these subconscious rules of a narcissist is that the narcissist needs validation from external sources. The narcissist needs attention from other people in order to feel fed, in order to feel complete. Now the thing that a narcissist or somebody— remember, let's start to lessen the degree and the label of this narcissist and start to see it as more of narcissistic thoughts. Narcissistic tendencies instead of being a narcissist. Because here's the thing, if someone views themselves as a narcissist and everyone else is calling someone a narcissist, well, guess what? That ego is being, is being emphasized, and the ego will then do whatever it can to stay consistent to that. Now here's the thing that a narcissist needs to remember as well, that when you look at your ego, when you are starting to become more aware, you're starting to free yourself And the key to this is knowing that you can be loved for being you and that you don't need other people's validation or other people's energy for you to be loved. Now, this may be a little bit easier said than done because there may have been 20, 15, 30 years of patterning into this, into this ego structure being emphasized. Now, here's the other thing about it as well. Some people will go onto the opposite sides of the spectrum. A lot of people that are over here may be very spiritual people. Sometimes a lot of spiritual people tend to lack some boundaries because some, what we call spiritual people, they want to give and they want to help other people. I know I was a people pleaser for a very long time. Now the thing is, is sometimes what'll happen is then there's this balancing out of the scales where someone over here will go over here to start to reclaim their boundaries in certain ways. I was talking to someone the other day about it and they said that they were so much lacking boundaries at one point that then they said, screw it. It and they started to become more narcissistic without knowing that they were just trying to balance out the scale. Now imagine they start to do that and then they start to identify as this and then they just keep this pattern going. It's a pattern and it's a momentum that's been on autopilot, but the first step to this process is becoming aware of it. When you become aware of it, you start to free yourself from it. So the key to this is becoming aware of the thoughts, becoming aware of the desire to maybe think that you— someone may need someone else's attention, someone else's energy, and start becoming aware of when that comes up and start to see those as thoughts. Start to see those as beliefs. Start to see them as emotions rather than a part of your identity of who you are. When you change that, when you realize you might think thoughts but you are not your thoughts, that's when you start to become more powerful. That's when you start to take your power back. And that's why this video may not be a very popular view, because here's the thing: compassion is the key to this cure. Compassion. And even the narcissist— if you feel like you have narcissistic traits, the key is giving compassion to yourself. You give compassion to yourself, not needing it from anybody else. And the more you practice this, even just doing something very simple of putting your hands over your heart for a couple minutes a day and and completing what is called a mind-heart coherence, connecting your mind to your heart and feeling that gratitude inside of your own body. And then saying things like, I am safe, I am love, I accept myself. Knowing you don't need anyone else's validation to be loved and knowing that it is okay for you to really love yourself, but not in the sense of the narcissistic loving the self because The self that the narcissist loves is the ego. There is a spiritual side to the narcissist that maybe the narcissist is starting to become aware of, but there's a spiritual side which is beyond the self, which is beyond the ego. And this is why I believe meditation is one of the most powerful tools for this process, and a meditation of going beyond the self-image, a meditation of going beyond the ego. And that's what spiritual awakening is. Spiritual awakening is going beyond the ego. And when you go beyond the ego, you start to become free. So if you feel like you have narcissistic tendencies, narcissistic characteristics, realize that they're thoughts, they're pattern behaviors that you're becoming aware of. It's an identity that you think you are if you think you're a narcissist. And the thing is, is you can start to see yourself in a different way. And I really believe that now, 15 minutes into this video, if you really were a narcissist, you wouldn't have watched it this far in. Because a lot of times narcissists, they're down the rabbit hole and they wouldn't want to even entertain an idea like this because they maybe wouldn't be ready for it. But you aren't a narcissist. You may have narcissistic tendencies, narcissistic thoughts, but what you can start to do is become aware of them, and then you can start to give yourself love. You could start to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself if you feel guilty about taking out your energy on other people, on feeling like you've done other people wrong because of some of your narcissistic tendencies. Forgive yourself. And by forgiving yourself, you'll start to become more free. Something that I have with this that's very powerful for narcissistic tendencies, for forgiving yourself, forgiving other people, has to do with a Ho'oponopono meditation. It's a very ancient healing modality from Hawaii. It's very powerful. I have a video on it in the top description box below. Listen to it for 21 days. Watch how your life begins to change. That will really help with this process as well. And remember, there's different sides of the spectrum, and if you become aware of it— like, some spiritual people may start to rebel and start to have more narcissistic tendencies to balance out when in the past they felt like they lacked that and they had to do it to survive, and then they got rewarded for it, so they kept doing it. But realize you're becoming aware of this now. And as you become aware of it, you can then see its beliefs, its rules, its thoughts. And what helps with this process is doing meditation. The Ho'oponopono meditation is more of an exercise, but it will help you to clear out your energetic field and to really forgive yourself if you feel like you've been taking that out on other people, or however the energy dynamic may be. So if you want me to do a follow-up video to this, let me know. Or more videos on this topic, but compassion really is the key. If you know someone else that's a narcissist, show them compassion. They feed— or it's a funny thing because I'm kind of talking to both sides of the spectrum here, but if you're narcissist, then maybe what happens is you catch yourself if you see somebody else that's going through something. Normally you would kind of have something to talk about if somebody gave you some type of resistance, the key is becoming aware of that trigger, of that need to latch on and realize, no, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm safe, I love myself, I accept myself. And if somebody else is around someone that's a narcissist, instead of resisting, that feeds the narcissistic ego structure. Instead of resisting it and arguing with it, give it compassion. And compassion, it starts to hit the person at the soul level versus at the ego level. And that's when you really start to become free. So if you haven't already, subscribe as well. I have videos on this channel that share kind of different things when it comes to the ego, it comes to understanding us as spiritual beings, understanding more about how reality works. Go and subscribe below. And other than that, I'll see you on the next video. Peace, much love, and namaste.