Attachment is Blocking Love (if you let go it would come)

I literally dropped the identity of having ADHD and I wired in an identity that I am this meditation zen guy that likes to ground myself in grass and study Ascension material. And that was a process of me letting go of one label and then adopting a new one. Before we get into this episode, I'm gonna show a little bit of love to my sponsor of this episode, Organifi. Many of you know that I love Organifi. I use it every single day. I use the green juice, the red juice, the protein. And that is a way that I maintain a high vibration. It's the highest vibrational supplements that I found. For those that you don't know, it's super simple to use. It's a powder, a scoop. Imagine you just got this green juice powder. You open it up, you get this little scooper, you scoop out one little scoop, you just mix it in water. You don't even need ice or anything. You mix it up. It tastes like this minty deliciousness. And you get many servings of vegetables. 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It's something I actually use in my own life. So it's something that I really believe in, but it's a way of you also helping support the podcast as well so that I keep on rolling and I keep on having episodes like this. So with that being said, let's get into the rest of this episode, right? Meow. This episode, we're gonna go really deep on one main idea, and I'm gonna make a bold statement right here. If you let go, it would come. If you let go of your attachment to attracting love, if you let go of your attachment to outcome, if you let go of your attachment to a specific person, love would naturally come towards you. The challenge is that when we are attached to anything, we create resistance. And one of the most insidious beliefs that we have in regards to attachment is we believe subconsciously that if we were to let go go of that thing, of the person, of the outcome, of the desire, we believe deep down if we let go that we would not attract that love into our life. That's the only reason we continue to hold on. That's the way it works. We hold on to things that we believe are beneficial for us to hold on to. And we believe that if we were to let go of the outcome, let go of the person, let go of the desire, let go of the identity, whatever it is, we believe that if we let it go, then something bad would happen. Now here's the interesting thing. It's actually the opposite. If we were to let go, we would actually receive it because when we let go, we then allow these things to come into our life. When we let go, we let go of resistance and the resistance is the only thing blocking that from coming into our life. So this episode specifically in the connotation of love and how you are literally blocking love from coming into your life because of attachment. And if you simply let go, you would allow it in. And it's a big paradox, but it is so true. I'm gonna share with you my journey through this process. I'm gonna share with you the different levels of attachment. There is attachment to desire, attachment to a specific person or a person in general. There is attachment to a label/identity. There's attachment to outcome. There is attachment to a certain belief about who we are or a belief about just life in general and the way reality works. There are people that have attachments to believing that all men are dirtbags or all women are just after this or this, the stereotypes. And because we believe this subconsciously, sometimes we attract into our life. I was attached to a belief for a long time that said women try to control and manipulate me. And the reason that belief was there was because back, you guys know the story, 7 to 16 years old, I had an ex-stepmom in my life that was controlling and manipulative. And because of that, what happened is I then developed a belief about women specifically that they're always trying to control me. And because of that belief, guess what? It kept being reflected in my life. A first girlfriend that I really, long-term girlfriend that I had that was trying to, that was very jealous of me, trying to control me, broke up with her within 2 weeks, got transferred at Nordstrom's in women's shoes to a better women's shoe department called Salon Shoes, which is designer shoes, better department. However, the manager of that department was the same exact personality as my ex-stepmom. There was always a woman in my life reflecting back to me the belief that women are trying to control me and that I need to protect myself And therefore, I always had that belief coming back to me. You may have the belief that you always attract a certain type of man into your life that has a certain type of energy dynamic. And we remain attached to these beliefs because this is the way reality works. Subconsciously, I had a belief that said, this is the way women are. This is how women relate to me because that was my experience for a, bulk of my life up until that point. So a lot of this is about understanding attachment. You know, I've been also reading different books lately on attachment. There's this one, maybe I'll read it to you right now. It is a quote by Anthony DeMello. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Anthony DeMello, but Anthony DeMello wrote a book called, there's a book that is on, has to do with awareness of love, like love meditations or something like that. And then the other one's just called Awareness. And they are very powerful books. So let me read you this little section. What can one do to attain happiness? There is nothing you or anyone else can do. Why? For the simple reason that you are already happy right now. So how do you acquire what you already have? If that is so, why do you not experience this happiness which is already yours? Because your mind is creating unhappiness all the time. Drop this unhappiness of your mind and that happiness that has always been yours will instantly surface. How does one drop unhappiness? Find out what is causing it and look at the root, at the cause unflinchingly. It will automatically drop. Now, if you look carefully, you will see that there is one thing and one thing that causes unhappiness. The name of that thing is attachment. What is an attachment? An emotional state of clinging caused by the belief that without some particular thing or some person, you cannot be happy. This emotional state of clinging is composed of two elements, one positive, the other negative. One positive element is the flashing pleasure of excitement, the thrill that you experience when you have what you are attached to. The negative element is the sense of threat and tension that always accompanies that attachment. Think of someone gobbling up food in a concentration camp. With one hand, he brings this food to his mouth. With the other, he protects it from neighbors who will grab it from him at any moment that he lowers his guard. There you have an image of the attached person. Man, that was powerful, right? So attachment really is the root of all of this. And the key to letting go of these attachments is simply first off becoming aware of the attachment and secondly, making the choice to let it go. Even the book by Dr. David Hawkins, "Letting Go," is almost too simple. It's like what the letting go technique is, you feel this emotion You allow the emotion to be there. You don't try to control it. And then you just make the choice to let it go. That's it. But our mind tries to make it way more, it can't be that simple. I've gotta go through some crazy night of the soul. I've gotta go through some crazy dark night in order for me to let go of it. No, all you gotta do is feel it, allow it to be there, not try to control it, and then let it go, make the choice. Now, the problem and the challenge is that it's hard to let go of something that you literally believe is going to get you what you want. That's the nature of these control dynamics. So I'm gonna share with you some stories from my own life of how I've worked through this. But yeah, there's like, it's almost like, you know, if I let go of this outcome, then I'm not gonna get it. And that's the belief. If I let go of this person, that I love, then they may never come around. But that's the funny thing. You know, when I first started to get on YouTube, one of the first videos I had that went viral was like 3 ways to attract a specific person into your life. And the whole message of the video was like, don't, don't try to attract a specific person in your life. Let go of them completely. It's funny, have you ever noticed that in dynamics? Let's say a boyfriend-girlfriend breakup. Let's say one is chasing the other and wants to get back with the other person. Well, in the chasing of the other person, that other person can feel the resistance. They can feel the person chasing and they immediately put up a guard and a wall because of the energy dynamic that this person's trying to control them. The other person's trying to be in a relationship with them and trying to get them to do what they want. It's a form of manipulation. Now then what happens is this person eventually moves on. When this person moves on, they let go. And when they let go, this person can then feel the letting go of that. And then this person many times may wanna come around, may not, but they may. And they are more likely to come around in the letting go when this person has let go than when this person is attached and trying to control. Now, one of the reasons that is, is because when we insist or we have a certain expectation, it's a form of almost manipulation and control. And the other person then resists giving what that other person wants. It's just the energy dynamic that goes. If somebody were to buy a very cool shirt and walk around wearing this really cool shirt, one thing they may do is what they then do is they want someone to compliment them on the shirt. They go around like waiting, like, "Hey, Matt, how's it going?" Do you notice anything about my shirt? They're like, yeah, you're wearing a new shirt. Yeah. And it's like they're expecting that compliment. And when they're expecting it, they don't actually get it because they're in a way putting off something that says, I want this, which means I lack this, which is in the energy dynamic 'cause at the end of the person doesn't wanna give it to them. Now, this is why we are literally robbing the other person from making the choice to give us the compliment. If we're trying to control love dynamics in attracting someone into our life and we want it to go a certain way, we have a certain expectation, we're literally blocking them from making the choice to choose us. Why? Because we are attached to the outcome and we're trying to control it. They feel that as resistance and they can't give it to us. We're trying to manipulate their decision. When if you would simply let go, if you let go of needing a compliment, If you let go of trying to control someone else to do something, they're gonna feel that inner freedom and they're gonna want to give you what you want.