Attracting Love is Hard until You Send Energy Like This

What if there was an energy practice so powerful that it completely shifted the way that other people see you? What if you were able to feel so firm inside of yourself, so authentic inside of yourself, that you no longer craved their validation or approval? I'm gonna show you why when you integrate this energy, people will respond to you differently. You will feel differently inside of your body, and you will truly be good either way. With how things go because you will feel so free inside of yourself. So with that being said, let's get into it right now. You are already a magnet and you already have magnetic energy. You don't need to try to become magnetic. You are just magnetic to certain energies. Like if you wanted to become magnetic to a certain type of person, let's say, let's say somebody says, oh, I, always attract people that are controlling or manipulative, or I attract people with really dysregulated nervous systems. What you might realize is if you attract people that like overtake, for example, you may be a magnet to people that overtake because you may be overgiving, or you might think that it's normal to be around people that overtake. Does this make sense? So there's two sides to it because on one hand, the people you attract into your life, there's some form of energy or some form of bait that you might be putting out that attracts those people. If you're someone that attracts controlling narcissistic type people, you might be someone that goes with the flow or someone that thinks that if you stick around, you can help fix them. Or as a kid, to have that kind of dynamic in your life felt normal and familiar. Or it's what you think you are worthy of. You are already magnetic. You attract people into your life that are reciprocal for the energy you're putting out. And the energy you're putting out might be that you've simply put out the other side of it. That's the bait. Yeah, Veronica says, or you want to fix them. If you wanna fix somebody else, what are you also projecting onto them? Here's some shadow sides of trying to fix as well. I'm gonna share with some things in this video that I haven't really even talked about before. If you're trying to fix somebody else, first off, the simple line of things that you can probably see is anytime you try to fix someone else, you are projecting onto them that they are broken and you're projecting onto them that you are the one that can fix them. So once again, this may have been familiar to childhood. You may have felt like it's your job to fix. You may feel like it's your job to hold space for somebody else. I know for me, especially early on when I, like a couple years ago when I would be, maybe like even 5 to 8 years ago dating, there was a feeling like if I can hold enough space for somebody else, I can help them to release their walls. Around men and subconsciously there was an energy of mom having some form of block around that because I knew because of her childhood trauma. So subconsciously, oh, I can fix, if I can fix this person, if I can hold enough space for this person, then they can process whatever they need to process and then they'll meet my needs. This becomes a survival mechanism with a subconscious belief that if they heal, then my needs will be met. But of course, anytime you go into a dynamic or you go into a relationship where you're trying to fix, what are you energetically doing? You are depolarizing polarity. That's one thing you do. You are also, here's the shadow thing that I haven't shared before in content like this, you are positioning yourself just a little bit above them. If you're trying to fix somebody else, there may be one, a belief that you aren't worthy or able to have somebody that's an equal, but also subconsciously you might not feel safe there because there means vulnerability and vulnerability is scary. So if you are fixing someone else, you are just a little bit above them. And if you're just a little bit above them, you're fixing them. And if you can fix them, they can then meet your needs. But there's this feeling of, oh, I don't have to be completely vulnerable. I don't have needs. Do you see? So part of this is looking at that energy and then seeing what do I need to, what energy do I need to embrace and integrate on the other side of this? Now, what shifted for me was when I learned how basically what you do by trying to fix, if you think about it, trying to fix somebody else is trying to control somebody else because if you can control somebody else, then it's predictable. And you won't get hurt. So when you realize that many of your patterns are control mechanisms, that's where you start to bring the energy back. And remember, when you're trying to control, that's an energy that repels love. It repels healthy love. It will attract, you become a magnet to people that become projects. You become a magnet to people that need fixing or at least believe they need fixing. You become a magnet to people that you can enable but you then repel deep love. You then repel deep connection. You repel people that are equals. Think about this. If you are around other people that you wanna connect with at a deep level, you're gonna be eye to eye to them. You're not gonna be over them. And if you're in rooms with people where everyone is subconsciously below you, then what happens is you end up limiting yourself. And once again, it's a survival mechanism so that you don't have to be vulnerable. Do you see the difference here? So a big part of this is recognizing that when you're doing that, you are repelling deep love because you're positioning yourself above people and you're trying to fix them. If it's enabling energy, you're projecting onto them that you're broken, you're seeing them as broken, you're seeing them as needing you. And because you feel needed, you might think that's love, but that's not love, that's codependency. but because you're attracting this, you are repelling the deep committed love. You're repelling people who are equal. Now, when we talk about equal and above and below, these are of course concepts that it's like that's energetically what you're doing, and that is what you're either attracting or repelling. You're subconsciously doing it. Someone says, you fixing someone is manipulation to get what you want. That is true. If I can fix you, then you will stick around and you will never leave. Who else would hold this much space for you? Who else would be this tolerant of you? Nobody, but I would do it. So if I would do it, you would never leave. Do you see? Now, this is why I talk a lot about repatterning, repatterning your energy, repatterning your childhood. This idea of repatterning has to do with looking at that inner child part of you that decided that you had to fix. And then having a relationship with that inner child, you loving them, seeing them, hearing them, soothing them, and then leaning into what you've been avoiding of that mechanism. Because remember, if you set yourself above other people, you are attracting people you need to fix, but you are repelling people that you could actually connect with at a deep level. When I stopped fixing, that's when I opened myself up to actually healthy love, completely switched around my energy dynamics. So you're always a magnet to love or some type of, you're a magnet to certain patterns. You're either a magnet to the fixing person or you're a magnet to certain unreciprocal relationships. And because you're a magnet to that, you are repelling away the people that would actually have a more secure attachment style or the people that you could actually connect with at a deep level because you're too preoccupied over here. Do you see? You're preoccupied over here doing this thing over here, playing, you're playing the game of trying to fix somebody else or people pleasing. Like if you're trying to people please someone that has a healthy regulated nervous system and that's like centered into themselves, they most likely can see that you're overcompensating. They can see that you're trying to fix or you're trying to help them. And by trying to fix them and trying to help them, they're saying subconsciously, what is this person trying to prove? What is under the surface that I'm not seeing? And something feels off. So when you begin to repattern this part of your energy, you then can allow yourself to become a magnet to healthy love. That's what shifted everything in my life. And this is something, by the way, that I'm gonna be teaching soon in a 10-day magnetic love reset. And I'm gonna be teaching the repatterning technique. It's an energy practice that you use. And what this energy practice is, is it has to do with how you relate to that inner child and it helps you to then feel more at the level of self-love, self-acceptance, not searching, trying to control reality. And what that then allows you to do is it allows you to have more of an open heart. This is something I've been working with for a while. It's called repatterning. And when you repattern your nervous system, that's when then you'll see red flags in people with chaotic nervous systems, or you just won't be so tolerant of always having to have it around because it felt familiar childhood. So if you're taking this, if you're taking this position, trying to help other people and fix them, you're placing them below you and you can never meet someone at an equal deeper level. It's not. So if you're trying to fix somebody else, subconsciously you may first off believe they're broken and that you need to fix them. Part of this is because it may feel normal from childhood. Part of this because you may feel it's your role, like you are a good person if you do this. And what happens is if that pattern stays in, the subconscious payoff you might not be aware of is that if you're setting yourself above someone else, there may be a lack of vulnerability and it feels safer to be above somebody else. It feels safer than being an equal with somebody else that's also working on their own stuff. And you being up here is feeling needed. You've in a way misplaced love and connection for codependency. And maybe as a kid, you felt this is who you had to be to be loved. You had to be a fixer, you had to be a pleaser, you had to be the peacemaker of the family. But now as an adult, that will create a lack of polarity. You either won't be in your masculine or your feminine energy because you're too busy in the role And if you're above other people, it's a way of being a magnet to people you need to fix, but it's also a way of blocking people that have a deep regulated nervous system that you can connect with at a deep level. So part of this is recognizing that pattern in yourself, and that's why I'm talking about repatterning. And the other part of it is realizing that when you have your attention and you're trying to fix other people and you're tolerating that energy, It is taking energetic bandwidth away from a healthy regulated type nervous system and healthy type connections, healthy deep love. How can you attract it when you're too busy over here? You're entertaining energy that may feel familiar but is draining and keeps you locked into the past. So part of it is the repatterning energy that we're talking about. Another part of repatterning though is literally leaning into uncomfortable emotion by action. This might mean, so for example, there's people in my life that I've been in that dynamic with where I've set myself above them 'cause I want to fix them or et cetera. I believe it's my role. And part of me leaning into the growth meant, this is specifically people and family and things like that where when I became successful and I started to make money, I then became the most successful person in my family. Who, when everyone had money issues, they'd come to me. So what happened is everyone would come to me when they had money issues, and then I was like, well, I'm a good person, I'm a good family member, I must stay in this fix-it role. And then I'd feel the burden of this, but feel like it was my role, and it was a form of guilt. So I'd do that, but I'd also be keeping them in patterns where they continually needed it, 'cause they weren't growing. I was enabling. When I began to, instead of be at this level, and realize that as this person, as this relationship with this person, I don't need to be up here. And also it's enabling them and keeping them in their pattern. The moment I stopped doing that, I became in a way the bad guy. There was tension there, but you see, their tension was not my thing to manage. I thought it was, but I was avoiding the person that was allowing them to go through their own stuff. Now, of course, now they can go through that. They can have a transformation and they can empower themselves. And instead of seeing them as broken, I would see them as having the power to figure it out. Big difference. Even now in relationship, if there's something that comes up, I'm not like, I need to fix this for you. I need to solve this problem. No, there are times where I'm there emotionally, but it's not like I need to fix, I need to get it to go away, which a lot of times will depolarize relationships. And a lot of times people just wanna be seen and heard. They don't wanna be fixed. So in a way, what you begin to do when you bring this energy back to this awareness is I was afraid of being the bad guy, but once I allowed myself to be the bad guy, I then realized that I was disowning inside of myself the authenticity because there were times when I was helping and fixing and I was like, this is BS, why am I doing this? I was angry at myself, I was angry at them. And instead, I embraced the dark side. I started to focus on being authentic instead of trying to get validation and approval, or instead of being good and being seen as good. Does that make sense? That changed everything. And I embraced that. And guess what? In relationship and dynamic and other areas of your life, when you are more authentic instead of looking for validation and approval, or instead of trying to fix, you will be more magnetic. Do you see that? And you will feel more free. So yes, 100%. If you are in the energy of trying to fix people, energetically setting yourself above them, guess what ends up happening? You have this energy bandwidth going towards this and you are blocking energy bandwidth of deep, healthy love and connection 'cause your energy's being preoccupied with this. And part of the reason this is happening and you're setting yourself above people is 'cause there might be afraid to be seen as the bad guy. You might be afraid to seen as someone that's letting someone else deal with their energy, not taking on their responsibility. Someone says, I am people pleaser. I realize I attract toxic jobs. Any tip, any tips? If you had authority issues growing up where you had either controlling or passive parents and you didn't trust authority, you may find yourself in a job where authority is a similar dynamic. So as a kid, for me, feeling controlled growing up from 7 to 17, 9 to 17, then I kept, after that, I became free. I kept and I had freedom. I was allowed to have friends. I had all these restrictions. And then at 17, 18, freedom. What I found though is I resisted authority and it was unfair. My core story, my core pattern as a kid was that things are unfair. Then I'd be working 9 to 5 jobs where once again things were unfair. Corporate politics, managers would get away with things. People had to suck up to managers to get the schedule they wanted. I didn't like doing that, but a lot of people had to play the game. So what happens is I would keep attracting controlling, corrupt type upper politics, like corporate politics, but deep down that somehow felt familiar. So you tolerate that energy or it feels familiar to you somehow. And what I realize, you say you're a people pleaser. That's something I've also had to deal with. And part of it was as a kid to get by, there was a necessity to please someone in my life. And if they weren't happy, then I was in trouble. So to become the peacemaker in the family or a pleaser was the condition to being accepted and approved of. Now what happens as an adult, you might say, I realize I attract toxic jobs. Well, what is the bait you are putting out to attract toxic jobs? Well, first off, you're putting yourself out there, you're applying to jobs, you get in the dynamic, and then either you're projecting onto the job this childhood stuff and it's not really there, but your interpretation of it is it is, or you're tolerating it instead of finding something else. I've told this little story before, but when I sold women's shoes, I had a manager who was controlling and manipulative, and she got away with talking down to everybody. She would talk down, she would make people cry. Like, she was pretty mean. And everyone just dealt with it because they wanted their job. And she was protected by upper management. Once again, things weren't fair. There was this one guy that got into the department, and I worked in Salon Shoes selling women's shoes, wore a suit to work, sold women's shoes, it was commission. And there was this one other guy I remember that came in, his name was Roland. It's funny, this guy I'd never seen again in my life, but I've talked about him in 2 or 3 YouTube videos before. I always remember Roland. This guy Roland came in, he got the job, and then I remember the first time, her name was Julie, she started talking to this guy, she started talking down to him, she started demeaning him. He literally looked at her and said, who the hell do you think you are? You don't talk to people like that. And he walked out of the job. He walked out. Even though he could have got paid $30, $40 an hour to sell shoes in commission job, he walked out. And one of the reasons he walked out was he didn't need to please the— it was his values were, I'm not gonna be talked to this way, I'm walking out of this. And he probably found another job somewhere else with management or someone he could work with in a different way. I always thought that was interesting. I look back now with all the inner work stuff that I've done, I was like, oh, Literally, it just wasn't in his frame of reality to deal with someone like that. Whereas the other 9 or 10 people in my department, we all put up with it because we made, because of the money. So he already most likely felt either he didn't wanna deal with it or he felt worthy to, or whatever he felt. There was probably some form of that where he said no to it. Part of my stuff back in the day, that manager, by the way, was in my life until I went through a process of spiritual awakening and I forgave someone in my life that represented that energy. Guess what happened within 2 weeks of forgiving that person? That manager got fired. For 5 years, for like 20 years, she worked for Nordstrom's. She got fired, which sounds really egotistical to say because it's like, am I saying that I caused her to be fired? I just think it's a very interesting synchronicity that she was in my life up until I forgave the person from my past and let that energy go. And then she got fired for something way less than what she could have got fired for. She did crazy stuff and then she, well, she got fired for sending an email talking about someone that was pregnant, but she had done way crazier things than that, but she got fired and they couldn't, upper management couldn't protect her any longer. She got fired. Freedom came from forgiveness. And many times people will resent mom or dad and therefore they will attract partners that reflect that energy back, 'cause there's that resentment there. And this is, by the way, something we're gonna be learning with repatterning. I'm gonna be teaching it in the upcoming 10-Day Magnetic Love Reset. How'd you identify the person that you forgave them in your past? I knew because I knew that there was unresolved energy there and there was an energy like, this isn't fair, why did this happen? But also I realized there was a lot of like stored anger around this person. And when I let that energy go, that's when That's when things started to shift. If any of you wanna hack, by the way, for how to forgive your parents, here's something very powerful. What you do is you get and ask your parents or you find from someone in your family, you find photos of your parents or someone from your past when they were a kid. And what you'll find is when you're looking at these photos, there's like a purity there, but an under, almost like an empathy around their childhood of where maybe their patterns came from, and you're able to connect with them in a very deep way. It was very interesting. My dad, my dad recently said, I asked my dad for a photo of my grandpa, my dad's dad, who I never met because he died when I was young, and my dad never really had a strong relationship with him. And my dad only had like 2 photos, but my dad sent me a whole bunch of photos of me and my brother when we were like really young that I haven't seen like ever, these photos. And then he sent me a whole bunch of photos of him and his brother, which is him and my uncle. And in all these photos, it was funny. My dad had, my dad in one photo had a broken leg and he was just a little kid. And then in another photo he had like this thing around his face 'cause he got like something else happened. He had all these health things that came up because him and his brother, my uncle, would get rough and then he'd get hurt, which is funny because also my brother and I, who is 3 years younger than me, him and I would always get into like, you know, we'd always be like fighting or wrestling or competitive. And then he would always beat, my little brother would always get hurt, which is an interesting patterning, isn't it? But seeing these photos of my dad, it was really like a warm, it was like a really like, I don't know, I was able to connect to like a part of him, but also like there was just, I don't know, there was just a deep understanding for his childhood. And in understanding is where a lot of like forgiveness can happen. It's very interesting. But this, this I believe is a really powerful part of like healing from the past. So if you were to do that, if you were to get a photo of your parents when they were kids, there's a way of connecting to them that just can be very powerful for forgiveness, for releasing energy. 'Cause everyone, you know, our parents when we're kids, we think of as form of gods in a way. We're these little beings, they're gigantic, they're these gigantic and their ultimate authority. And what happened, like, that's how we view it growing up. So a lot of that gets projected and then we project that into areas of our life later on. But when you're able to connect to the purity and like the simplicity of like the inner child parts of us, it's hard to remain those resentments. Like for me to forgive someone from my past, I recognize that this person, when they were a kid, experienced something very similar to what I experienced growing up. So I understood that it was just replaying that energy dynamic. Didn't make it right, but it did help me understand. And when you understand, it becomes a lot easier to realize that it's not necessarily personal because those patterns are survival mechanisms. So if someone steals from you, for example, imagine someone steals from you and imagine even it's a friend of yours that stole from you or something. Now, on one hand, it doesn't make it right for you to understand but it does help you realize that it's not so personal if you're around someone that as a kid didn't learn abundance, learned scarcity, somebody that believes that the only way for them to like feed their family or to get by is to manipulate or to steal. It's a survival mechanism. And what happens with forgiveness, this is the thing that can shift so much of you, for you in forgiveness is realizing it's not personal. It's not the other person's highest self that was stealing from you. It's a pattern. It's a survival mechanism. And when you realize that, you realize that many patterns that we have are sub— are simply passed down from childhood dynamics. So your mom's and dad's patterns were most likely patterns that they learned from their parents. It just keeps getting passed down. So when you realize that, that's when you can get to the even deeper level of forgiveness that Eckhart Tolle talks about, and that is that at the deepest levels of forgiveness, there's nothing to forgive because it's not personal and it's not the person, it's the unconsciousness inside the person. And because we're all connected, there's a collective reality we're all connected to, that unconsciousness is what did that pattern. So it's not that you're so much forgiving the person, you're forgiving the unconsciousness in the person. Now, like I said, that might not make it right. It might sound like a way of spiritually bypassing, But that's what Eckhart Tolle, when Eckhart Tolle says that, what you're really forgiving is the unconsciousness in them. So you're not forgiving them, you're forgiving the unconsciousness. That's when there can be a lot of freedom and a lot of release because we tend to take everything so personal. Like if I had a boss or an authority figure, I'd be like, they're trying to control me. On one hand, yeah, maybe there's a story there that they're trying to control me, but also they might not feel safe unless they're manipulating. But you see, it's the unconsciousness and then you're able to take the story out. Because I've had times where I experienced the sensation of being controlled and I'm with somebody else that has a completely different experience of it. So how much of it am I projecting onto them and how much of it is actually real? So this is where we begin to really look at people reflect back to us what's in our subconscious. Does this make sense? The most powerful energy exercises I've ever seen that I've ever learned, one of 'em's called the frame technique. Where you feel the separation between you and someone else, you learn something called subject-object differentiation. It's a very simple practice, but it allows you to feel safe and magnetic in your own frame, not taking on the responsibilities and energies of other people. And that's something, by the way, that I'm also gonna be teaching in the 10-Day Magnetic Love Reset. And if you wanna remove the love blocks to attracting deep, healthy love, and you wanna learn that repatterning process that I was talking about so that you can repattern your nervous system and your consciousness for more love, connection, and freedom than ever before, go ahead and click the link below. Join this upcoming 10-day Magnetic Love Reset. It's gonna be a very powerful experience, and we start on February 11th, but enrollment is open now, and you can click the link below to grab your spot. And if you wanna learn the most powerful technique I've ever found for having magnetic energy, it has to do with something called the frame technique. It has to do with feeling safe inside of your own body, not taking on the energies of other people. And it literally transforms the way in which you show up with yourself and other people. And if you wanna check it out, watch this video right here, try it for 21 days and watch what happens.