Boundaries make you Magnetic AF (How to Set "Inner"getic Boundaries)

Energetic boundaries. Imagine that there's these boundaries around you where if people cross them, there is then something that comes up within you where you say no. When you say no to people crossing your energetic boundaries, you are saying yes to yourself, and boundaries are actually internal. This is something that my shadow work integration coach has taught me. It's like, well, do I need to always go into— have someone else asking me to do something maybe I don't wanna do, and I always have to establish my frame and be like, no, this is not okay. And he said, it's more so about the energetic energy, like the energy on the inside that will imply that to where you don't have to say anything. So in this video, I'm gonna show you the most powerful secrets that I've learned to maintaining magnetic energy, how boundaries have completely shifted my life, and not just by setting outer boundaries, about how you can set energetic boundaries that will transform every area of your life and allow you to really be in your own frame, to be in your own power, and at the same time say no to things that don't resonate or things that you don't really wanna do because it's not authentic without feeling guilty. Welcome back to another video. My name's Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm gonna show you how you can have energetic boundaries where everywhere you go, people are magnified to your energy, but not in a way that they feel like they need something from you, or you don't have to like, you know, like, like shoo them off or anything like that. And this is something that over the last year has completely transformed my life by working with my shadow work integration coach, who's helped me understand that I had this very strong pattern of releasing my frame. I would do this thing where when I was around other people that had a strong frame, my frame would in a way become weak and I would, I would like mold to other people. I'd have friends that would say, let's go do this. And it was hard for me to say no. Uh, I would really abandon my sense of self to make others happy. And this is something that started making me feel more and more powerless. Like I feel so obligated to do what other people wanted me to do that if I'd say no, I'd feel guilty. I'd feel like I was a bad friend. And I would then, um, I think part of this as well is I craved from a certain level the validation from being in someone else's frame and the payoff that I got from that. So it was something that the more I became aware of, the more I started to take my energy back to where now, even if I say or do something that I know is going to— someone else is going to feel like maybe negative emotion because of what I do or whatever, I know that it's me being authentic and me maybe even being vulnerable, so I don't feel guilty. I'm like, I remember this one little thing right over here, this little thing. So remember, that's your shit, not mine. When you have strong boundaries, you can very clearly see that when somebody else projects their stuff onto you, come to this thing that I want you to come to because it will make me feel better, you can then see that if you say no to it because you actually have something you wanna do, or you say no to it because it's, uh, it's not something you want to do. You can realize that if they feel negative emotion, you realize that's their shit, not yours. That's an epiphany that I had when I was also realizing that, see how this other is a strong frame. I would feel that I had a weak frame and I would then in a way be tuned into other people because I'm also tuned to wanting validation from other people. And what I would do is I would then merge to their frame. So this is really an energetic and energy thing where we're feeling like we're in a way powerless. And this video is a funny little story for you. Um, my girlfriend is doing this women's retreat right now and, uh, her name's Heather and she's going through this, this, uh, this thing where she goes and she's meeting, you know, like 90 women that know her from her audience and stuff like that. And it's something interesting that happened is being in the public eye and doing what we do, there's some interesting things that's happened. I've had some interesting things happen while doing like a plant medicine ceremony in Costa Rica where there were like 70 out of 90 people that were there were like from the YouTube subscriber audience. And I've had things where like in the middle of ceremony, a woman got on top of me and started trying to have sex with me. There's something interesting that happened. I realized in that moment that it was my own lack of boundaries that allowed that to happen. It was my own lack of like me being in my frame. Where that was even thought of to be okay. But my girlfriend goes to this thing. It was the first day yesterday. She's just left a minute ago to go for the next 2, 3 days there. She goes there. This woman is so excited to see her and this woman licks Heather's face. She goes, oh my God, oh my God. And she goes up and she licks her face. That is fricking crazy to me. Like she came back and she told me the story. I'm like, why did you allow, what did you do when that happened? She's like, well, I was like freaked out a little bit. And I'm like, you didn't tell her like, you know, that's not okay. It is not okay to lick my face. You know, that to me is just so bizarre. But you see, there's interesting things that have happened. I mean, I've had someone get on top of me in the middle of ceremony. So it's like, where are these energetic boundaries? And something that she had to learn to do is to actually say no and not just say no, but like, what was authentic in that moment? And was it authentic to just be like, ew, that's disgusting, go wash your face? That's what she did. But what I would have, I mean, I guess maybe we all have a different way. What would you guys have done, by the way? Comment below. What would you have done if something like that happened? Because from what I would have said, I'd have been like, what part of you thinks it's okay to lick my face? Like, it would have been very clear. And then the benefit of that is saying that in front of other people that maybe also, you know, would have saw that. It's like a wiring in of respect in a way. This is how I expect to be treated. Treated. You know what I mean? Like as a person that's not some, I don't know, it's because maybe she's on Instagram. People see her, they project onto her. I don't know. It's an interesting thing, but that is something that was bizarre but also made me realize like it's a, it's a powerful thing that a lot of people are going through where it's about being in your own frame and not being afraid to tell people this is okay, this isn't okay. It's okay to do this. It's not okay to lick my face. Okay. I didn't think we had to have this conversation, But this is something that the more you become aware of your own power, the less attached you are to when people feel less than positive when they go through something. Now, here's an interesting thing as well. My assistant, she has amazing boundaries. And I love the fact that, you know, when she's getting me things or getting things done for me, she's really good at follow-through. There'll be times like people come up to her for things and she's just very clear and people don't even try to cross her boundaries. Because they just— she carries that energy. She was at Whole Foods the other day and she was— she told me this story because I was like, why do— there's certain things that still happen in my life that I become aware of and I'm like establishing a new frame around, but my— why doesn't this stuff ever happen to you? She's like, well, the other day I was at Whole Foods and this guy came up to her that was like in his iPad or something. And it was just this guy that came up to her when she was like in the produce aisle or something and was like, hey, so I have to ask you this question about this iPad. And like, I'm thinking about getting this iPad or maybe a MacBook or something, but like, I don't know which one to get. Blah, blah, blah. And then Ayla was just like, excuse me? She's like, why don't you go to the Apple store and ask them because they work there. She's like, I'm working right now. She was like getting stuff for me. She's like, I'm working right now and that's, you just go, you just go there and get the answer there. Like, I don't, I don't know. I can't help you. And she just walked away. She didn't feel guilty at all because part of her energy is like, that's, she's very good at, that's your shit, not mine. If Ayla were a plant, she'd be sage. Okay. Sage is like, I say that because some people do these things called plant dietas where they like ingest a plant where like a lot of sage and stuff like that and they connect to the energy and sage is all about boundaries. That's why when people cleanse their energy they use sage. But, um, she can also have kind of like a sage can have kind of like a bitchy attitude where it's like, no, that is not okay. I know that because people that have done these plant dietas, Uh, have said that, that that's kind of the energy that comes through. So the reason I'm sharing this with you is because don't be afraid to carry that energy where you are able to establish a level of tension. Tension when you were a kid probably was a bad thing. If you expressed what you really felt or really what you really thought back in the day, it was probably like you'd get pain. You'd be challenging something. And it wouldn't be good. However, realize that now tension is authentic. You don't have to go out of your way to give people tension, but one thing you can do is realize that if you value people's validation over your own, then you're going to seek and you're going to tune to everybody else in order to get your needs met. There's a video that's on empaths that is a video that went kind of viral. I guess it resonated with a lot of people, but it's how to heal and what being an empath really is. And you can also link that little video below so that you can see it. But basically when we were a kid, we go through trauma, we escape the bottom chakras, we go into like the top ones, start being very heady. We can tune to everybody else because we're not in our own frame. But when we start getting in our own frame, which means in our own body, in our own energy, we can then clearly create that level of separation. So this is something that you begin to not so much project onto other people when you start doing the inner work. Now, the most powerful thing that I did in order to change around this energy was looking at my own values. Now, a value is in a way kind of like a belief system that they're virtues that you live by. So beliefs do create reality, but your beliefs are gonna be directly reflected in your sense of identity. And your identity consists of different virtues that you live by. Now, if when we were kids we craved validation from other people and we feel needy or we feel like we're just being nice, then what happens is we are seeking and we are dependent and codependent on other people giving us a sense of validation, giving us a sense of approval. So if we were to make them feel bad by having something that we was authentic for us to express, we would then feel bad because we could feel their energy. Their energy is my energy. But the key to this is realizing that you can redo your values by just becoming aware of them and starting to give yourself that which you crave. I became aware that I felt invalidated as a kid. I felt like I wasn't worthy as a kid. And I had to, from 7 to 15 years old, tune myself to my ex-stepmom who was emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive. So because of that, I got a sense of safety me from doing that. And when I would do that, it was, uh, my sense of literally survival for me to survive. So even after 15 years old, my dad divorced her. I'm still feeling this level of energy inside of me where I need to get people's validation and approval to know that I'm okay, that I'm safe. And instead, once I became aware of this, I was able to reframe my own values and realize that I value vulnerability and authenticity over validation. That's the game changer here. Many of us that have trouble setting boundaries, the problem is that we have abandoned ourselves in order to make others happy. We're afraid of abandonment. We're afraid of being abandoned or rejected. So what we do is we change our center of our energy of, of like center of gravity to make everyone else happy. But then what happens is we abandon ourselves in the process. The key is to bring the energy back in. To realize that that is their shit, not yours. And as you begin to tap more into this energy, you are going to begin to feel more powerful, but also focus more on authenticity. If somebody licks your face and you feel like they've crossed a boundary, is it, is it being nice is a way of mitigating tension? Being nice normally is a form of manipulation. A nice guy is a manipulative guy. A guy that's like, ooh, I hope that if I'm really, really nice to you, maybe we can have sex and maybe we could do something. That's a very nice thing. That's the way they think. Nice is manipulation. I'm gonna give you this lack of tension and maybe you'll like me, but it doesn't work because it's not polarizing. It's not authentic. And what women or men want is they want authenticity. So there's a difference between being nice and being kind. If you're being kind, it's like a virtue and it's compassion. If you're being nice, it's, it's, it's inauthentic. Okay? There's a difference between being kind and being nice. Now the thing is, being nice or being needy means that you're looking for something outside to make the inside happy. I did this for years, literally years. I went through this process of attracting situations where I constantly got reflected back my lack of frame, where I needed to be nice to get other people's validation. The game changer for me though was when I learned how to be in my body, to feel actually the separation between me and other people, but I started to actually go into tension because it was authentic. I started to value that of vulnerability and authenticity over validation, and that changed everything. I've had over the last couple months some very challenging conversations that normally would've been hard to do. They're easy because they're authentic, where I express to people how I feel. You know, think about it. A nice guy doesn't really show that they're interested in someone for a while. They're like just being nice and hoping something happens versus opening themselves up to be rejected by being like, this is how I feel and think. I am attracted to you. They could get rejected, but they normally won't even say that because they want to just be nice because they don't want to make that woman feel any tension or guy, whatever the, you know, whatever the dynamic is. Um, because masculine and feminine energy is, is not specific. Like there's a general archetype for certain genders, but it's not, you know, even, even in same-sex relationships, it'll be normally one with more masculine frame, one with a more feminine frame if there's polarity. So anyways, this is the most powerful part of understanding that of boundaries. Are you setting your own boundaries? What would you do if somebody licked your face? Would you be nice? Hahaha, it's kind of weird. Or would you be like, no, what part of you think that's okay? That's not okay. Don't ever do that again. What's authentic? And I guess you could say it in a nice way. You can be, oh, you know, Pleiadians, like starseed, this stuff. Oh, you're just, you know, I don't know. I'm just being sarcastic now. But anyways, that's the part of this that I think changes everything. There is something called the frame technique. It's a very powerful meditation. If you haven't seen it already, I'll go ahead and link it below. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoy this video. I'm thinking of doing live videos here on YouTube a couple times a week. Is that something you guys would like? Bring people on, coach people, stuff like that. Let me know. Like this video if you want me to do that kind of video. And other than that, as always, what are your biggest challenges as well with boundaries? Comment below. I will make a video and maybe answer all those questions. So as always, peace, much love, and namaste.