Someone asks if it's okay to date another codependent person while working on themselves. The coach pushes back: do you actually want to break the pattern, or stay in it? That question forces a real answer about what you're after.
I'm a codependent person, and I know that I'm working on myself. Is it okay if the time comes when I find somebody to be my partner that we agree that we are codependent, like, and it's okay?
What do you really want though? Do you want to stay codependent or do you want to move out of that pattern?
I want to move out of that pattern.
Okay, well, if you want to move out of that pattern, that will require looking at these different aspects of what part of you needs that codependent relationship. To be honest with yourself, There are people that will stay in codependent relationships for a long period of time and that works for them. You find what works for you. You don't need my permission. But at the same time, you have to ask yourself, what do I want? Do I wanna stay in a codependent energy that's maybe bred out of a childhood pattern? Or do I wanna break beyond that and meet somebody? Doesn't mean you can't be with someone. The codependency is just, I'm afraid of abandonment. So I'll just choose someone and kind of settle for somebody where we need each other. But when you need each other, that creates a very heavy energy and it creates an energy that, becomes a lot of work to continue to maintain versus also having the freedom to be interdependent.
