Feeling Drained Around People? It’s Not Their Energy…

What if taking on other people's energies is not what's actually happening? What if when you think you're drained when you go out in public wasn't actually the case? What if what is actually happening is something completely different? It's a subconscious pattern that's under the surface. And what if today is the day you finally start feeling more like yourself? What if today was the day that everything changed? What if today was the day you started to feel more connected to other people? Now in this video, I'm gonna show you what subconsciously is actually happening, and I'm gonna show you how to completely transform the energy from the inside out. Now, first off, for a long time, I've had the story myself where I would say, When I go out in public, I feel drained. When I am around even certain friends and acquaintances, I feel drained. I can only do it for a certain period of time and then I have to go home. However, what if you became aware that there are probably a few people in your life where you don't feel drained around at all? There might be people in your life where you feel like you can just completely be yourself. And what happens is normally people develop the belief that I am just sensitive around other people's energies. Well, on one hand, you may feel other people's energies, but that's not really the issue. The issue isn't that you can feel their energies, the issue is that is that when you are feeling their energy, you are tapping into them because of normally a subconscious survival mechanism as a kid, but it's who you respond and how you respond to their energy that's the issue. It's because you are not actually being yourself when you go out in public. You are not actually being yourself when you go around a certain group of friends. And because you're not being yourself, you feel emotionally and energetically drained. You may then say, I am absorbing their energy. But the only reason you are absorbing their energy is because you believe you must do that in order to get by, in order to ease their tension, or in order to survive. This is something I became aware of recently inside of myself because often I would tell myself this story that I thought was just a true thing. I am this YouTuber who makes lots of videos online and I talk about energy and I have to really maintain my own energy in order to do that, which partially I do believe is I'm mindful of my energy. I do believe at a certain level that's true. But what I've recognized is one of the reasons I would feel drained going out and meeting people or going out and being with that of maybe like friends, but maybe they're not super, super close friends. But what I realize is the reason I feel drained in those scenarios is because I feel like I just can't be myself. I would feel like I had to almost put on a mask of how people would see me. It's almost like if you think about it like a chameleon, how much energy would be drained if every person you met, you were tuning into them to then ask yourself, who do I need to be so that you feel happy or have no tension? And what would then happen is you would then subtly modify yourself for that other person. And then you might meet somebody else and do the same thing. Well, what I've realized recently is there's this energy practice where what I would do is really just sense inside my body when I'm around people, even in public. But what I would more so do is I would set intention for me to be in my own frame but also for me to just be myself, to just express myself more, to realize that if I express myself and somebody else thinks it's weird or judges it, that's not my thing to manage. It's almost like the vulnerability actually became a portal into more connection and understanding that it's not my job to manage what people think of me. It's something that will naturally happen. Well, people will have their perspectives. Some people will like you, some people will not. And this little insight right here has really switched it for me because I've realized even, even in my relationship, for example, even though we've been, me and my girlfriend have been spending a lot of time together over the last 4 months, 4 or 5 months, we've been traveling, we went to Europe. One thing I realized is I was starting in a way to find myself going into old patterns where it was almost like the polarity was kind of dropping because I wasn't being my real self. It was like I was starting to tune too much to her. And what happens in masculine and feminine dynamics is when the masculine starts to falter or isn't as strong in their own frame, that can cause the feminine to feel more chaotic, more unsure, more unsafe. It's a mirror to the masculine. But what I became aware of in my own dynamic is that there were certain things that happened a few months ago where it was just a lot of traveling. It's almost like my nervous system became kind of fried from so much travel from plane to plane. To Europe, to all these different foods I was eating, and I started to feel kind of like not as much myself. But what I realized is I was becoming and going, shifting into an old pattern where I was feeling more passive than normal. Even in my business, I could see that I was being more passive than normal, where I was kind of like just letting things happen. I wasn't as intentional. Wasn't as in my own frame. And because of that, I felt like I was more reactive. I felt like I was more reactive and just kind of accepting everything as it was coming, which from a certain perspective, people could say, well, that's true surrender. But really that passive was coming not from a choice of surrender, it was coming from believing that I had to be in a way kind of like a leaf in the wind in that example. Now I'm exaggerating a bit, like a leaf, I don't think I really felt like a leaf in the wind, but I could tell that because that energy was in a way more passive, it was causing other things to happen where I was like, oh, this isn't, I'm not even really being myself. And then I would find myself even in close proximity to my girlfriend feeling like, in a way, I would start to, I was feeling more like I had to like perform or put on a little bit more of a, I don't know, what I can see now is that that passive energy was a front. It was like I started to like try to fix or I started like trying to be of service instead of being in my own frame. And that was a performance thing that was draining me. And I'm like, why am I feeling drained? Why do I feel like I just wanna go into my room and close the door and just be by myself? And what I can see is that to me was a symbol of being able to just finally be myself. But the thing is, what I realized is then I started to, I made the choice in a moment that I realized this and I started to just be myself. I started even in living situation, even around other people like friends, I just started giving myself permission to more bluntly be myself and to not feel guilty. Or even if that guilt came up, I would feel it, but I would make, oh, this is who I am. I was more direct, I was more leading, I was more choosing. And in that energy, it completely switched up the polarity and the dynamic. Allowing her to relax more, but also inside of myself, I started to feel more confident. Like my body language changed, how I carried myself changed, my tonality changed, how I speak changed, how I thought completely changed. And it was literally just a different energy. You know, I was thinking about this the other day because there's this, this, uh, not study, but it's kind of like a study where what would happen is inside a tribe of monkeys, there might be like a whole bunch of monkey tribe monkeys, like apes. And what'll happen is if the alpha— there's always one alpha— and that alpha male, if that alpha male dies, another alpha male that's next in line will step up to the plate. And within literally a day or two, his testosterone will go up dramatically, like hundreds of percentage. And it starts to be this new version of him because he has to for the tribe, but it completely switches his energy. He then has more selection when it comes to, you know, mating and having kids. He then has to like protect and lead, but his hormones literally change. And what was interesting is as I stepped more into this energy where I started to be the real me, it was like at the same time, I started to feel a shift inside of myself. I started to feel more purposeful, more direction, more sure of myself in the sense of like my vision, everything shifted. But then with that as well, I realized that going out in public, because probably in the past there was some form of relational trauma as a kid and there was a feeling that I have to tune myself to others in order to feel safe, there was a slipping of my own authenticity. So it's not so much that when I go out in public, I feel drained by everybody else. When I go out in public, I just wasn't giving myself permission to be the real me. And in order to be and get approval or validation or ease people's tension, I felt like I had to be different than who I really was, and that is draining. So whereas a lot of times what can happen with this kind of topic that we're talking about too is because there was relational trauma in the past, it could be that the belief is that other people are the problem. Other people are what's draining you. But let's be honest, are other people really draining you or are you getting something out of being drained? Now you might listen to that and be like, Aaron, that's ridiculous. How would I get anything out of being drained? I don't like it. If they would just stop draining me. But deep down, can anyone really drain you? Unless you agree to give up your energy or to falter your own frame of reality. And if they can't, if you maintain your frame and you are yourself and you're not buying into and giving away energy or feeling guilt or feeding it, you won't feel drained. You're not giving that energy and faltering how you view yourself for other people. The thing I'm pointing at though is you might get something out of it even though that payoff is not pleasurable. That payoff may be you get to be a good person. That payoff may be you get to please them, you get to ease their tension, you get to fix them, and the subconscious belief is if you fix them, if you please them, If you remove their tension, then they will love you. They will never leave you. So what this really is, is this is a form of codependent pattern where you believe you must shift in order to help them, and if you help them, then you can feel valuable and worthy. So energy begins to shift when you begin to shift, when you begin to be in your own frame of reality, when you begin to instead of give yourself the excuse to be what someone else wants you to be, you start making the choice you're gonna be real and authentic. And by being real and authentic and not taking on other people's energies, you become more free. This reminds me of another teaching by someone named Alfred Adler. It's called Adlerian psychology. There is this idea that there is what's ours to manage and what is other people's stuff to manage. And all relational issues really come from a confusion of what's your stuff versus what's their stuff. And what someone else thinks of you is their stuff, not yours. And someone else's growth is their thing to deal with, not your thing to enable. So a big part of this process of feeling drained around other people is that as a kid, you may have had that mixed up. You may have felt as a kid, I have to tune to mom or dad Who do I need to be? And then you feel like you have to tune to that in order to get by. So it's a safety mechanism. So me growing up with a stepmom, an ex-stepmom that was in my life from 7 to 17, who was controlling and manipulative, and you never really knew exactly where she stood because her emotions would change quickly and there was no real rhyme or reason to the thought process, so it was very unpredictable. Who do I need to be? I need to constantly tune to know, am I safe, am I not safe? Managing her emotions became a focus. And there was no understanding, even a psychologist, it would be challenging to understand because it was just always shifting, but let alone a little kid. Yet that pattern as a kid then became something that was projected onto the world. Who do I have to be to feel safe? And that became something that caused a lot of turmoil and a lot of problems because then what kind of person do you think I would attract if that was my pattern? Somebody who was maybe unstable, not knowing how they thought or felt, trying to fix them, trying to manage them. And then believing that that's how I have to be in order to get by. It's what feels familiar. But then that also is what feels drained. It'd be hard for me to focus on my own life if that's also a project that I have to, I feel like I have to fix, which by the way also is projecting onto the other person that they're broken. Now also, something I'm gonna be, that I'm putting together right now is a step-by-step process that has all my top courses, all my top workshops, meditations, et cetera, to help you make 2026 your most empowered year yet. It's a Black Friday special, something I've never done before, as crazy as this will be. And there is a waitlist that you can join if you wanna be notified of this. It's only going to last a few days the week of Black Friday, but you can go ahead and put your information in below and I will send you the details. But it's a way basically to get, you know, every course meditation I've made that will help you to completely transform from the inside out. So if you want to join, you'll go ahead and see that link below. You can join and grab your, uh, get the email of when it goes live. There'll be a special thing for anybody on that list. So realize that for you to become the most magnetic version of you, it will require you at a certain level to lean into tension. Tension does not mean bad. Tension might have been bad as a kid, but tension is actually the key to growth. So when I focus on being around people or even in my living situation, you know, living situation in general, It's about allowing myself to be authentic, to have a vision, to be directive with my energy, and to be someone that's vulnerable, puts myself out there. The fear around vulnerability is that if you are vulnerable, you could get rejected, or if you are vulnerable, it could hurt someone else's feelings. And remember, if you feel like you are responsible for other people's emotions and energies, what is happening is you're not taking on their energy as much as you are changing your frame to appease them. It becomes performance. It's not real. And the deeper core thing here that will completely transform your life is understanding that what you're really afraid of is the abandonment of other people. You're afraid they're going to leave you, they're not gonna like you. And if you feel like you were afraid of that growing up with mom or dad or your environment, you might avoid that at all costs. Here is the tricky thing, the subconscious thing that's actually happening though. You've already abandoned yourself to make everybody else happy. You've already abandoned yourself and therefore you feel drained. This isn't about them and their energy and blaming them. That blame takes the energy off of you dealing with your own abandonment. And even now, as I say this, you might be judging yourself. See, you've known about this for years. You've got more work to do. That's still an ego strategy you might be using because deep down you believe you are only worthy based on what you do, based on what you do for other people, based on how you make them feel. Your sense of worthiness might be caught up in that. And what I'm saying is what you can begin to do is bring the energy back to seeing, hearing, soothing, and feeling that inner child abandoned version of you. And when you're there with them, you may feel your nervous system begin to relax. You may find that they're not searching for the validation and approval of everybody else because now you are with you. And when you're not abandoning you, you will feel more free. And this is when you can begin to give yourself permission to be the real you, to express the real you, knowing that other people's tension is not your thing to manage. If other people don't resonate with you, it's okay. I've realized that over the years, especially back in the day when I first got on YouTube, I thought that I had to be friends with everybody, even people that were also creators. There was this belief and this like desire for other YouTubers that I would know of that I had to be friends with them. And there was this feeling that if they weren't friends with me or they didn't like me, then there's something wrong with me. And almost everyone I've met online, I've been friends with, but there are a couple that maybe I didn't, that I would, I'd find myself. There was one person I met at a Tony Robbins like event thing. And this person is also a YouTuber. And this person that I met, I met this person, they knew who I was 'cause they said, they said, oh, hey Aaron. They recognized me when I went up to introduce myself, but I could just tell they didn't resonate with me or like me. You just feel it. And very quickly that person just like left and it was very obvious. And I was like, okay, this person's uncomfortable. And in the moment when that happened, I was like confused. I was like, what did I do wrong? That's literally what went in my mind. What did I do wrong? We have so much in common. Why wouldn't you like me? And that was something that for like a couple days I was like, what did I do wrong? I wanted this person's like respect or I could tell there was an attachment. And then eventually what I realized is I accepted that I am not everyone's cup of tea. Maybe something I've said in a video, I'm like, even if they didn't agree with what was in the video, couldn't they see us being authentic? These are literally the thought process I went through. It was hard for me to accept that maybe someone didn't like me. What did I do wrong? Thinking I was like doing something wrong. And then later on what actually happened is looking back now, I can see though clearly that maybe I wouldn't even resonate with them. And that could be like an ego mechanism that's like, you wouldn't like them anyways. But deep down I look at like some of the, you know, it's been years, it's been years since this happened by the way, like literally like 5 years. But I can look back and see, I don't think I'd even resonate with this person. So, and then something else that happened is I had an old person that I used to know that things didn't go well with. I had to cut somebody outta my life and I just literally had to. It was something that was like hard to do and it took years to do it. but there was somebody I had to cut out and I did. And then what I find out is that this person is like, basically, even though I've cut contact with this person, I'm not talking to this person anymore, this person is telling other people that are also kind of like content creators that do what I do, is literally saying things that either aren't true or are a certain aspect of a story that's just like not accurate. But what I recognized is that some of these people, ended up happening, some of these people I noticed unfollowed me and aren't connected. It was a whole group. And I could tell that there was probably something that was said that caused that to happen, even though, and what came up for me in that moment was feeling that it felt not just, it felt not fair. I felt like there were, it was the, there was emotion that came up where it was like I felt really frustrated and angry that someone else would do something like that all because it didn't work out. And I can recognize, oh, this person has anger for the fact that cut this person out, all this stuff. But what was interesting to me is what I realized is that that's just something, the peace that I found is in accepting that some people will misunderstand you. Or get a certain side of the story. The other aspect of this was realizing that you don't need everybody to like you or to even understand you. It's okay. And what I had to do is I had to accept that about myself, and I had to accept this in the other person as well. I can see that this person might be angry, and that's why they're saying things, but also I've had to just accept let it go and realize that not everyone's gonna understand you or, you know, especially when things are said that are just completely like not accurate. But the lesson here for me was to just completely let go and realize it's something I can't, like literally I can't manage it. And also what I realized was like, if I really look at the situation, this person is mentioned before, that they never really have friends that stick around. It's like they go through cycles every so often. And if these people are meant to come to their own conclusions eventually, or they might have that realization, they might not. But there's peace in knowing that if someone's talking that much smack and is that angry about something, that might also be a reflection of them. But once again, this is something that can't be managed. This is something that it just has to be let go of. And I found freedom in that letting go, freedom in the being misunderstood, freedom in realizing that it's like, this isn't my thing to manage, but all I can do is just be the most authentic version of me. And me being the most authentic version of me, that's all I can do. The right people will find me that are meant to find me. The people that don't, won't, and that's okay. And even there might be some people that misunderstand because of maybe what someone else says, but it's like, that's okay too. That's not my thing to manage. I can get worked up about it, and I did for a couple days when I found out about it and I noticed all this. I was like, oh, this is, then I felt like, oh, I need to reach out and explain my side and this is a misunderstanding, but I'm like, no, that's not my job. This is someone else's, "This is, it just is what it is." Can't control that. And in the same way, we can't control what other people think of us. All we have control over is the permission we give ourselves to be authentic, the permission to be vulnerable, the permission to be expressive and to be bold and to be our real selves. So take this as a sign today to realize that you can set the frame for you being in your own energy, you can give yourself permission to be vulnerable, to be real, to be authentic. And that maybe if you've been abandoning you, what you can begin to do is to actually be present with that part of yourself. And as you are present with that part of yourself, what you'll find is that you might feel more regulated inside your own nervous system. So something else I have is a meditation on the frame technique, which will help you to feel more safe inside of your body and really wire this all in a very deep level. If you do this meditation for 21 days, I believe it'll change your life, and I'll go ahead and put it right here.