Give me 24 Minutes and I'll Make you Dangerously Magnetic

If you wanna be dangerously magnetic, realize first off, you already are magnetic. You just might be magnetic to things you don't necessarily want. You might be magnetic to controlling people. You might be magnetic to people you need to prove yourself against. You might be magnetic to people that don't choose you. But understand that you being magnetic is not something you need to learn how to do. You just need to learn what you are being magnetic to and what you are actually repelling away. You're always magnetic to something. The degree to which you are magnetic is the degree to which you are aware of your subconscious patterns. And when you become aware of the subconscious patterns that are inside of your nervous system, you will then become aware of why you are repelling certain things and attracting other things. You might be subconsciously repelling deep connection and love because on the inside there is an attachment to people pleasing and wanting to be chosen. And when you want to be chosen or you believe you need to please other people in order to feel worthy, that is a repellent to love and connection because you are not in just existence and authenticity. You are actually in performance. You are playing in a reality where you believe that you are only worthy based on how you come off. You are only worthy based on how you can please other people. So how can other people be magnetic to you in a loving, deep way when you're not being the deep part of yourself? How can other people be magnetic to you when you are more magnetic to a pattern? The pattern of people pleasing is what you're really in the relationship with. The pattern that you're in is in wanting something else from someone else, which is an energy drain, which actually depletes your magnetic energy that's already inside of you. So the truth is you are already magnetic. You don't have to try to become more magnetic. The real question is what are you magnetic to? You could be magnetic to people that don't choose you. You could be magnetic to controlling people or narcissists. You could be magnetic to a whole bunch of different type of patterns you may not prefer, not realizing that you are magnetic. It's just that what's blocking what you really want is the attachment to subconscious patterns that are under the surface. So if you are attached to people pleasing, if you are attached to wanting to be chosen, If you are attached to perfectionism and wanting to come off a certain way, that pattern might be actually repelling love and connection. It might be actually repelling people who could choose you because subconsciously you are magnetic to a pattern. You are magnetic to a certain energy that allows you to feel familiar childhood dynamic energy that was alive when you were a kid. Which maybe wasn't deep connection and love that was active as a kid. Therefore, what's familiar? Proving yourself, trying to show that you are worthy. So something that really changed my life years ago was when I learned that the subconscious patterns that I had were actually blocking love and connection. You see, subconsciously, I thought that having some form of people-pleasing pattern Because as a kid, in order to get by, in order to survive, having a controlling authority figure in my life was something that had me say, in order for me to be worthy, I need to tune to this person. I need to please them. And if I could please them, then I'll get the safety, the love, and the connection that I crave. Well, what happened is because as a kid, I was technically a parent pleaser. Pleaser, which as an adult creates people pleasers. There was this belief that if I please other people in my life, if I'm exactly how they want me to be, or I ease tension, then they'll be attracted to me. Then they'll like me. Then they'll give me what I want. But what I learned years ago is that actually what I thought I was going to receive in that pattern was actually the exact opposite. So for example, people that are nice guys or have that kind of like personality underneath the surface believe if I'm nice, if I ease tension, if I'm agreeable, I'm gonna get attraction. Well, years ago, what I learned is that that didn't work. Not only did it not work, but it actually was repelling deep connections. It was actually repelling and, letting, it was actually the opposite of me being able to respect myself was that I would abandon myself all of the time from what I actually wanted to say, which would then be the symbol to the woman I was attracting into my life who couldn't respect me because I didn't respect me. You know what's funny? I was talking to this woman yesterday in the sauna because I was in the sauna for a little bit and there were these 3 women that were talking and they were talking about these guys they were dating. And I was just kind of off to the side, like, you know, sweating and just there. And then 2 of them left that were the 2 friends. And there was one that was in there and we were in there for another 5 or 10 minutes. So it was funny because they were talking, she was specifically talking about this nice guy that she met. And we got into a conversation about that energy because she was talking about how she invited this guy to, her sister's birthday party that she just met. And she didn't wanna feel like she had to babysit this guy, but this guy was there. And she felt like he was like being really nice and agreeable, but she just like wasn't attracted to that energy. And she felt like it was kind of depleting. And what I said to her, I was like, what if you just shared with him how you actually felt in the moment? Because she was getting like irritated that like, she felt she had to babysit this guy. And she kept telling this guy, bring your friend with you because she didn't wanna feel like she had to like, you know, be around this guy as much. It was just kind of like a fun thing to see if it resonated. I was like, what if you just actually said that? Like what would happen is if you actually said like, hey, I'm here with my sister and I'm gonna be doing my own thing or something. Like what would happen? Or if she was feeling like literally he was being too needy, I was like, maybe it would've been good if you actually called the energy out and you're like, oh, it actually feels kind of draining to have to, be managing this. And that's why I mentioned you should bring your friend. You should bring your friend because I knew I'd be busy with my friends or my sister. And when I mentioned that to her, she's like, yeah, if I did that, that would've felt freeing. And she's like, I just didn't wanna hurt his feelings. And I said, what if that was the thing that could've actually either done one of two things? Either that would've woken him up and made him realize, oh, "I'm like putting too much of my energy on this chick that I just dated, that I started to date." Because also he was like buying her and her friends drinks and stuff. And then eventually he wanted to leave and he expected this girl to wanna leave with him. And she was like, "No, I'm not leaving with you. I'm here with my sister." But what's funny is that nice guy persona dynamic, which she said that he had, it works like that. It's like, I did this nice thing and I did this nice thing. Now I wanna get what I want. Which is a very non-magnetic energy. And on her side of it, she recognized that she had a people-pleasing dynamic. So she was like, "I don't wanna hurt his feelings." And what I was sharing was like, "Well, maybe that would've actually cut through that kind of superficial energy, given him an actual reflection of how you actually felt in the moment, and either he kind of grows up in the moment and owns the pattern, or he leaves and he's offended." Either way, it's a solution because you were feeling drained by trying to babysit and feeling like this weird expectation that was there. You see, so very often, and that's kind of what we were talking about that I found interesting is like kind of looking at that concept because it reminded me of years ago when subconsciously I would have this subconscious belief that if I am able to please someone or make them happy, then they're gonna be attracted to me. Then they're gonna like me. And actually what I found was I became so much more magnetic when I let go of trying to get people's validation and approval, and I focused instead on wanting validation and approval, I focused instead on being authentic and expressive. So that meant sometimes expressing how I felt, knowing some people might not resonate with it. Some people might feel tension, but their tension was not my thing to manage. Just like that woman I met in a sauna, if she expressed that she was, you know, how she felt about the dynamic or like saying, hey, go find your friend or something 'cause I'm busy with my friends or I'm not gonna leave right now 'cause you want me to leave, that would've been something that she would've probably felt more free with and more actually congruent. So one of the things I think very often blocks people from being magnetic is they're not being congruent to how they actually feel. The nice guy, the people pleaser, et cetera, they say one thing, but they actually feel another way. This is like someone that's like, "Oh, I'm gonna be nice. Oh, I'm gonna be agreeable. What's your favorite movie? Oh, I like that movie too." If it's not, and this is what, by the way, does not feel safe to the other person, What doesn't feel safe to the other person is that it's actually not rooted in authenticity. You're saying one thing, but your body is saying another. We can feel under the surface whether someone is being congruent or not. And this is why the bad guy persona is actually attractive. First off, the bad guy persona, even if it's rooted in trauma, the bad guy, you think of the symbol or the archetype of the guy with the leather jacket, the toothpick in his mouth, leaning against his lockers in high school. He just doesn't care and he's not attached. And if it's true, if he really is not attached and doesn't care, 'cause sometimes people might be putting on the bad guy persona, like, "Pfft, whatever, I don't care." That also might not be congruent. But if it is congruent, Here's the thing that's attractive. This person is actually expressing what they feel or how they think about something. Even if that causes you tension, they're still congruent and they're still expressing it. And there's something about that that feels safe. Oh, this person's actually expressing how they really feel. And you see, when you are being the most real you and expressing the real you, That's what's attractive to other people. When you are saying and performing what you think other people want you to be, how you think they want you to be, that's not congruent to how and who you actually are. It's performance-based. And when you're performing and trying to be a certain way, people can feel that something's off. And this is why anytime you see someone talk about a nice guy, it's normally under this kind of voice inflection. Oh, you know, that person is nice. That guy, he's nice. Even you think about a people, oh, she's nice. Like a people pleaser woman. She's nice, nice. Like listen to that voice inflection. Nice, it's not kind. Kind is where you're not attached to outcome. Kind is this is just how this person is. I believe that I am a kind person. I am not a nice person. Nice is when there's attachment to outcome and there's a form of manipulation. It's, I'm going to be this performative way so that then you like me. That's something that I shed years ago when I realized that it's manipulative. I realized that I was trying to manipulate reality into meeting my needs. And instead, what I focused on and realized was that me being nice for other people was me being a dick to myself. I was literally abandoning myself every day by not being congruent. And when I realized that, I realized, wow, I'm abandoning myself all the time. I'm not even being congruent to who I actually am and how I actually feel. There's actually a darker, like almost like repressed anger there. And I, first thing that happened, by the way, is I got really angry at myself. I realized that I was angry at a past version of me that allowed things to happen a certain way. And it was after I got mad at everybody else, of course, for like making me be this way. But then I was realizing I was doing it to myself. And what I realized is that I was in a way avoiding the authentic kind of like in my frame masculine side of myself. So what I thought of as bad, like from the nice guy persona, like it's bad to express yourself, it's bad to be the real you, it's bad to set boundaries. No, it's not. It's authentic. So what I eventually realized is I got mad at myself for a while, but then I embraced that very energy that I was almost afraid to tap into. And I started to be real. I started to express how I really felt. And I realized that it was not other people's job to meet my needs. And what I had to do is I had to almost encourage the inner child part of me that felt like I had to be a parent pleaser growing up. I had to see, hear, soothe, and nurture that part of myself and then encourage that part of myself. Well, how do you really feel? That inner child part of me had a lot of stored anger. That inner child part of me was really angry at dad. That inner child part of me, I had to give expression to like express that. And as I did that in a meditation, it was extremely liberating. I started to feel more free. And then from that point going forward, I made a choice. I committed to being authentic and vulnerable over validation and approval, craving that from the outside. And what happened is I started to validate and approve of myself because I knew that I was being authentic and real. I no longer needed people to approve of me in the same way. I no longer needed to ease tension in other people. In fact, I started to see tension as not something that needed to be mitigated. You see, in masculine-feminine polarity, what I realized is that by trying to get rid of tension, I was actually subconsciously getting rid of attraction because part of being in masculine energy, meant that I actually had boundaries, that I actually expressed how I felt, even if the other person didn't like hearing it. I wouldn't say with the intentions of hurting them or manipulating them, I would just express how I felt. And what I realized is tension as a kid was bad, but tension as a grounded masculine man was good. Not that it was being used to manipulate, but instead that it was being express in a way that was authentic. So this meant expressing the real me. This meant setting boundaries. This meant in moments where I would like cave in or not express, this meant that I had to actually express more, express how I felt, knowing that rejection could be there. But if it's there, it's not the thing that I need to manage. It doesn't need to be internalized. So what I realized is as I started to, instead of show up for myself, I started to not be such a dick towards myself. I started to, in a way, accept myself more, even that part of myself of the anger that I wasn't comfortable with. I started to accept tension in my life more. I started to embrace that tension more. I started to follow uncomfortable conversations more. I started following setting boundaries more, and then I became more magnetic. And instead of repelling feminine women, they started to come to me. Instead of repelling more abundance and opportunity, it started to come to me. Why? Well, on one hand, if I don't want tension, but I want more magnetic, I wanna have more magnetic energy, you've got incongruent energy. How can you say on one hand, you want deeper connections in your life, or you want more abundant opportunity in your life, but subconsciously you're afraid of tension? You're afraid that the, I mean, you're gonna be in tension when you're having uncomfortable conversations. You're gonna have tension when you have intimacy blocks come up. You're gonna have tension when you are stepping out of your comfort zone. Doing something new. Tension's gonna be there. But one of the things that will kill magnetic energy is avoiding tension. When you can be good either way, when tension comes into your life, that's when the universe will bring you deep connection. That's when God will bring you new opportunities and more abundance. But subconsciously, if as a kid, you didn't feel comfortable with tension and you tried to mitigate it and fix it, you are also taking on the burden of everybody else around you. You're taking on the burden of and trying to fix everybody else. How can God or the universe bring you a deep connection when you're more married to trying to fix someone? If there's a subconscious pattern there where you feel like you need to fix someone in your life, then what'll happen is you'll find and attract people you need to fix. And think about the burden that comes with that. Comes with a lot of burden. Comes with a lot of energy under the surface, doesn't it? So then it's your job to fix your partners. It's your job to fix, it's your job. So you don't have space for intimacy in your life. You don't have space for deeper connections in your life because you're more addicted to fixing people. You're more addicted to the chase of trying to get people to prove yourself to. You don't have space for a relationship. You don't have space for a deep connection. And maybe this is a sign right now that you, in a way, create, what is that called? Conscious uncoupling with the pattern. Maybe you could consciously uncouple with the pattern of trying to fix other people. Maybe you could consciously uncouple with trying to prove your sense of self-worth to other people. And as you consciously uncouple from that, you might find that as you lean into tension and authenticity, you allow yourself to actually attract deeper things in your life. So you are always a magnet to something. That something might be based in superficial patterns, and you might be a magnet to people you need to fix. You might be a magnet to people you need to please, you might be a magnet to narcissists, but you are always magnetic. You are always magnetic. It's just, you might be magnetizing what you don't want and you might be repelling what you do want. And what you can learn how to do is you can learn how to magnetize what you want and repel what you don't want by actually not having an aversion either way. Because you want it and because you resist the opposite of it is actually what's blocking it in your life. We tend to resist. If we resist somebody that's controlling, you will attract someone controlling in your life. You wanna know why? Because you fear it, it's showing that there's an unconscious, unintegrated part of you that wants closure. And maybe your lesson is to say no to the energy. Maybe your lesson is to realize that you can see the red flags. Maybe your lesson is to realize that it can be here and you can be good either way and still not choose it. That's where the power is. But a lot of times what happens is when people have an aversion where they're resisting something, they actually attract it. So realize that all the people you attract into your life, you are attracting them for a reason. Some people say, I'm attracting the wrong people into my life. No, they're always the right people in your life. They're the perfect person for the current emotion and energy you're currently integrating. So realize, what are you integrating? What haven't you integrated in childhood that maybe you're integrating now? What is the lesson there for you to stand in your power more? And realize that as you begin to integrate that, you become the more magnetic version of you because you're not tiptoeing around people. You're not on eggshells around people. You're not trying to change your frame to make them happy. And what you realize is that as you begin to integrate this energy and you're good either way, you can then choose deeper connection. You can then choose people who might choose you or not, but you're good either way. So realize that magnetic energy is really about who you are becoming and the relationships you attract in your life are showing you the kind of energies that you're integrating. They're showing you the emotions that you haven't allowed yourself to feel. They're showing you where your opportunity is to stand in your own frame more. They're showing you where your opportunity is to set boundaries more. They're showing you where the opportunity is to love and validate a part of yourself that you may have not been validating or approving of. They're showing you ways in which you haven't expressed the real you. They're showing you how to open yourself up more to yourself because attracting love and deeper connections in your life is really about your relationship with you. And these other people are just reflections of that energy. So the more you commit to you, and becoming aware of how you can feel emotions you haven't allowed yourself to feel, how you can integrate subconscious patterns like people pleasing or trying to fix, and you begin to become the version of you that's good either way, become the version of you that's bold and congruent to how you actually feel, that is the degree to which you will find that people you attract into your life is more of that deep connections. So knowing that you're already magnetic, no matter what, it's just about, are you magnetic to the things that you want? Understand that the things that you want might literally be blocked from your life because there's some form of block there subconsciously you might not be aware of. And one of the most important things to realize when it comes to attracting love is that you might have something that is called a heart block. Heart wall, which is a blocked energy around your heart that is protecting you from pain, but is also protecting you from love and connection. When you remove the heart wall that's around your heart, this energetic energy that was placed earlier on in life or from some form of pain, you will open yourself up to a completely new level of love. That's why I made a meditation for removing the heart wall and opening your heart. Do this meditation for the next 21 days and watch who comes into your life as a reflection of this simple meditation right here.