Hidden Secrets All Empaths need to know (or else)

A few months ago, I hired what is called a shadow work integration coach. This is somebody that has a double PhD and he is a, he studies Carl Jung psychology. And there's a lot of it has to do with archetypes, do understanding the hero's journey that we're all moving through. But there's some information that he shared with me that has completely changed my life. And in a way, I would say it's a way of managing being what is called an empath And in this video, I'm going to share with you exactly what that is. I'm going to save you literally years of time of going through the process of understanding what being an empath is and how to manage it. And I'm going to give with you a cure meditation that will help you to mitigate and to have magnetic energy, but at the same time to have and to set those healthy boundaries. This, if you're an empath, I believe is going to be one of the most powerful videos you've watched on it. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm going to be sharing with you what I've paid quite a bit of money and I've been spending 6 months working on when it comes to understanding what it means to be an empath, but also how to navigate through this and understand really what this is and why we are the way we are. Now, what is an empath? First off, an empath is somebody that is very sensitive and able to read people in a very strong way. An empath is somebody that can understand and knows the intentions of other people. They tend to be more sensitive to other people's emotions, moods, states. A lot of times you'll find that if you're an empathic person, you may be and feel overwhelmed in loud, crowded areas like big cities, like going out. You may need a lot more alone time. You may really like to be in nature. Uh, you may have a very strong intuitive sense. These are all different signs of being an empath and you have a, if you have a couple of those, then I'd say that it's likely you are an empath. Now here's the thing with an empath and understanding it. First off, it's not a mental illness thing. There's nothing wrong with you, but there's a way of understanding this that can completely change your life and I'll share with you my story with that. So I, for my whole entire life have been an empathic person for the most part, as long as I can remember at least. And I remember even as a kid being able to really feel and read people really well. I'd know and be able to pick up on people's thoughts, emotions. And I know as well, if you guys know my story, if you guys have been watching my YouTube channel for a while, from 7 to 16 years old, I went through a lot of trauma and abuse of an ex-stepmom that was in my life from that period of time. And the ex-stepmom, funny enough, was a narcissist. So a lot of times I think that when people are going through childhood experiences and maybe they're around people that are very self-centered, maybe they're around people that are emotionally unavailable or like narcissists, sociopaths, that kind of energy dynamic, it can a lot of times cause the other, the kid to go on the other side of the spectrum of being very empathic, meaning they're able to pick up and feel the energy of that. And in a way, being an empath is a survival mechanism. I had to constantly know how my ex-stepmom was feeling in order for my brother and I to, in a way, survive. If we wanted to go to a school activity, we would have to be able to tune to know how she was feeling because if she knew, for example, that we wanted to go to a school activity, she would use something against us. Oh, you didn't clean the backyard good enough or something like that. So if she knew we wanted to go, we kind of had to play it off like we didn't want to go. And we kind of had to always know how she was feeling so that we could at least go to like school activities and stuff like that. 'Cause most of the time my brother and I were locked out of the house. We weren't allowed, you know, we had to like sneak food if we wanted to get enough to eat. We weren't allowed to watch TV. We weren't allowed to have friends. We had to earn going to school activities. So there was a lot of tuning that was involved there where I had to tune myself to my ex-stepmom in order to survive. Now, the thing is, is even though that made me very aware and sensitive of other people's emotions, and even since then, I remember I had a roommate that was like a chronic, he was always lying about things. And I was so obvious to me that he was lying, but he didn't think I knew. And it was about stupid stuff. He's just a compulsive liar. But it's funny to me because it's so obvious when you're an empath when people are lying to you. And being an empath many times is a survival mechanism that comes from childhood wounding. And there's a shadow side of this too. When you're very sensitive, you could feel other people's energy. A lot of times what this means, and this is one of the secrets of empaths that I wanna share with you guys, it means you do not feel safe in your own container of your body. Think about that for a minute. You do not feel safe in your own container of your own body And one of the questions many empaths will have is, where do I end and where do you begin? Because it won't know the difference. There's trauma in the body of empaths, and empathic people can feel other people's energy so easily because they're so sensitive. But one of the reasons they're able to do that is one, the survival mechanism, but two, they're not grounded in their own body, so it's easy to pick up on other people's emotions and thoughts and feelings. Now, you could say that this is in a way a scale of empathy and narcissism. Now, an empathic person, somebody that can feel, a narcissist, somebody that's just in their own reality, they're in their own frame, they feel safe in their own energy, but they will do whatever they can to survive, including take away from other people. They're not really thinking about how other people think and feel. Now, empathic, being empathic in a way is a gift. It's one of the facets of the universe expressing itself. I know it sounds very hippie and like esoteric, but it's the other dynamic of being a narcissist and it's very necessary 'cause this is more ego-driven. This is more like unity consciousness, we're all connected, 5D consciousness. But here is the cure for that. You know, I know a lot of you watching this right now, we've probably done meditations and let's connect our energy fields together, let's all be one universal consciousness. That's all good and great, but what you need to hear as an empathic person is not that. What you need to hear as an empathic person is the best thing you can do is focus on being in the container of your own body and feeling safe. This has been what my shadow work integration coach has been working with me on is me actually doing meditations to where I feel the separateness between me and everything else. And I know that seems like that doesn't sound so spiritual, Aaron. Well, guess what? The narcissists are the one that needs to hear, the ego-driven people are the ones that need to hear, be more empathic and be universal consciousness. You don't need to hear that. You already know that. You're an empathic person that can feel what other people feel. But the cure and what will really help you navigate through your life is actually the opposite. There's actually in a weird way something to be learned from narcissists. I know that sounds crazy. A narcissist is a very toxic, unbalanced way of an extreme part of the ego in the frame. But when I look at my dad, who's an empathic person, and my ex-stepmom, who's a narcissist, even though they're divorced now, I can tell that there's something for my dad to learn from my ex-stepmom, and that is how to stand up for himself, how to be strong in his own frame, how not to get walked on like a doormat, how to have more healthy boundaries. And even though this is a toxic level of that, there's something to be learned from it. So in a way, as evil as the narcissist sounds, also realize the narcissism, that's also a childhood wound. My ex-stepmom, the way I was able to forgive her is I realized that her dad treated her a certain way to where she was bred to be a narcissist. So doesn't make it easier, doesn't, you know, but it does make it easier for me to forgive even though it doesn't make it all right. Now, the secrets of the narcissist though is basically what this is, is the empath, that's what I meant. The secrets of the empathic person is that they don't feel safe in their own energy. Therefore, their energy is scattered all around the place. They go into a place and they're like, oh, I could feel that person's energy. Oh, what are they thinking? They're just constantly feeling this energy and they're feeling bombarded. When the key is actually to bring the awareness back into the hands, bring the awareness back into the feet, feel grounded. Grounded is the cure. There's nothing wrong with you. It's a gift, but it's also a curse unless you understand how to manage this gift. To be, you know, I can read people like a book. I know when people have negative intentions. There's positive sides of that, but what I've had to really learn how to do is how to separate myself from other people so that I'm not picking up on other people's energy and thinking it's mine and then feeling shame for it or guilty. A lot of times empathic people as kids were meant to feel shame, not meant to feel shame, but they were criticized for being so sensitive, especially if you're a guy and you were crying or something like that. Now, the key though is understanding that also if you're an empathic person, you probably attract narcissistic people to stick people in your life because you don't feel safe in your own frame, so it feels safer to be in someone else's frame. I've recently become aware of this pattern even in little minute ways. But guess what? Now that I'm in my own frame, now that I'm actually focused on the separation and the gratitude for my individuality, it's a completely different energy. There's a more magnetic energy there. And I can even tell when I used to work in sales commission jobs selling women's shoes, when I would greet hundreds of people a week If I was like, "Hey, how are you?" Wanting something from you, wanting your validation, wanting you to feel good when I'm greeting you, it's this very unattractive scattered energy that's going out. But the days I was the most grounded and having fun and not caring whether somebody responded to me or not were the days I did the best. I'd be like, "Hey, how are you?" I say that kind of weird, but like, "Hey, how are you?" That's it. Don't care if you respond or not. It's a different energy. But when I'm tuning to everyone's energy and worried about everything, it's very different. So one of the things a lot of times you'll find is that empathy is also, an empathic person normally has a diminished sense of self-worth. For a long time because of the abuse from 7 to 16 years old, I didn't feel worthy. And even after my dad divorced her and I had all this freedom, could eat the kind of food I wanted, so I started looking healthier, have friends, watch TV, play video games, I could do all this stuff I couldn't do before. I felt kind of anxious in the unknown. So you wanna know what I did? I attracted women into my life, relationships into my life to where they would reflect back to me and try to control me because that control, even though it's narcissistic, felt safe. I felt safe. And that's Stockholm syndrome. That's when a lot of empathic people may feel safe when people are taking advantage of them. When they feel guilty because they're familiar emotions. So one of the other secrets to empaths is realizing that you're gonna have to eventually feel safe in your own body and step into the unknown. And part of the unknown for you may be setting boundaries, saying, "No, that's not okay." Lean into tension. Empaths do not like tension because when they feel tension from someone else, when somebody's not liking what they say, they feel that and then they don't wanna feel that way, so then they'll try to change. Tension is your friend. Tension is you establishing your own boundaries. And the more you do it, the more empowered you feel, not in a negative narcissistic way, but you don't have to, you're not gonna become a narcissist. An empathic person is not gonna become a narcissist. The key is to just be aware, and awareness really is the key and the secret to overcoming the empathic wound. Of childhood. Now, here is another thing that, another common secret of thing that happens with empathic people. Empathic people tend to attract emotionally unavailable partners who equally have wounding. And a lot of times what happens is because the empath is so much able to feel the trauma of the person that they are with, what they do is they eventually try to take on that trauma to fix the other person. And what happens is then the other person becomes overwhelmed with that energy. And then what happens is it's too much for them. And then the empath feels like there's something wrong with them. So unless you go within yourself and you set healthy boundaries, because the lesson in life, one of the secrets of empaths is the lesson in life for empaths is to learn how to set boundaries, to learn how to be good either way, to let go of outcome, to let go of what other people think and know where you end and where other people begin. But if you are attracting emotionally unavailable partners, it may be also because it's comfortable for you to be in a state of the similar childhood wounding where you were tuning yourself to your parents and trying to fix them. So a lot of times healers become, empaths become healers because they can pick up on other people's energy. But here's a lot of times the thing that a lot of empaths may not realize, they're becoming healers because they're secretly trying to heal themselves. And they think that if they can heal other people, then maybe they'll heal themselves. They don't know this. This is a subconscious thing. But my shadow work integration coach has showed me a lot of this dynamic and a lot of what we do and a lot of the cures I'm gonna share with you right now. This is what you wanna do. You wanna do a meditation. I've been doing this every single day. What I do is I sit cross-legged on the floor. I stare at a candle flame. And I've been doing this for 10 years, just staring at a candle flame, observing my thoughts. One of the most powerful habits I've ever took on in my life. Observe my thoughts, but then this is the key. I don't try to control my thoughts. I allow them to be there. But then what I do is on the in-breath, so take in a deep breath in with me right now. Let's stare at the finger. Take a deep breath in. And as you're staring at the finger, you really focus. You're looking at the flame though. You really focus on the flame. And on the in-breath, you bring all the awareness into your body. You literally feel yourself filling up your own cup, your own body, and you put the awareness in your hands and your feet and you feel the separation between you and the flame. You feel that separation. And on the out-breath, you relax. You still stare at the flame, but you relax your peripheral. You can even focus your peripheral around the flame. You could focus on becoming one with your environment. And this is an integration process of integrating in your ego and becoming more present inside of your body. So it takes a while to get used to this. On the in-breath, feeling the separation, feeling inside of your body, bringing the awareness into your head and through your body, and on the out-breath, relaxing and putting your attention on the peripheral and relaxing your gaze, whereas on the in-breath, you're staring very intently at the flame. So I've been doing this for weeks now, and I can tell you my energy is very different. I'm very present inside my body. Even when I'm running around my neighborhood doing a little bit of cardio, the old empathic version of me wanted to say hi to people and stuff like that. Not to say you can't be nice, as you're learning through this, but I was being nice in exchange for validation and not wanting other people to feel like, I don't know, I was rude by not saying hi. But what I do is now when I'm running, I just feel very much inside my body and I almost feel the separation between me and other people. And then people are like, it's almost like they want to say hi. It's almost like there's this new magnetic quality to my own energy and it comes from being present inside of the body. And when you have these emotions come up, the key is being present with it. You're gonna have times you go out and you say something and somebody doesn't like what you have to say and the empathic part of you would be like, oh, I'm so sorry, let me like ease it, let me fix this. But instead what you do is you just get really present with it and you feel what you're feeling inside your body. Last night I had some kind of weird dreams that made me feel different ways. But even as I lay in bed, as I woke up at 4:00 in the morning, I was just being present with it and I was allowing it to be there. A lot of times your dreams as well, when you do this exercise, by the way, your dreams are gonna change. That's the other work I do with my shadow work integration coaches. We look at my own dreams. And you start to remember your dreams the more you do this exercise. And then what happens is you can start to interpret your dreams. And what's important is how you feel in the dream, not necessarily the content of what is happening, but you'll notice that then you start to integrate these parts of your childhood. There is a hurt, wounded inner child that is stuck right now within your body, that is stuck within trying to please, that was stuck within trying to make the parents happy or whatever it is. And the key is to do a meditation where you connect to your own inner child and you heal it. You bring it back with you and you let it know it's okay. You're safe. You are protected. You are grounded. And as you do that meditation, you'll find that then what happens is this becomes easier and easier for you. So another part of this as well that I think will really help is if you didn't know, I have a quiz that is called whatsmyvibration.com. You calibrate your vibration and then you get a meditation that is for your level of consciousness that will help you to raise your level of consciousness and to heal. So if you want that, you go to whatsmyvibration.com and click the top of the description box below. Also subscribe if you haven't already. I've got a lot more energetic, dynamic videos coming out. Subscribe, like this video as well if you liked it. It really means a lot, really helps the channel grow. And other than that, as always, I'll talk to you guys on the next episode. Peace, much love, and namaste.