How to become so confident you become unrecognizable

What if you could become so confident that in 30 days from now, you are unrecognizable? Like, imagine the people that you interact with literally notice something is different about you. If you're watching this right now, you might find that when you're around certain people, you somehow abandon yourself to be around them. You might find yourself overgiving, become a perfectionist, or performing in some way, which drains your energy. And also has a repellent effect on the other side. In this video, I'm gonna show you how to let that pattern go and how to start accepting yourself at a very deep level, which allows you to not be attached to whether they approve of you or not. That's when you'll begin to develop powerful confidence from the inside out. That's when you'll begin to trust yourself in a deep way. And in this video, I'm gonna show you some simple identity shifts that will completely transform your life from the inside out and help you understand why the most confident, regulated, grounded person in a room has the influence and the confidence. And I'm gonna show you how to embody that in this video. Think of the most confident person you know, the person who's centered inside of themselves, who's not attached to what other people think, or at least doesn't change their frame because of it, that person is in acceptance of themselves and in acceptance of the present moment. Now, what happens is when you grow up and it was normal as a kid to lessen your own frame to be around people, you can then be in a pattern where you abandon yourself to be around other people. So what I mean by this is think about it like this. Between 2 people, whoever has the most calm, regulated nervous system has the influence over the other person. So the person that is in acceptance of themselves, the person that is present to the moment, is the person that is more magnetic and more confident. Now, often what will happen is this other side of the coin. That between 2 people, whoever has the strongest frame also has the influence. Those are people you consider to be magnetic or attractive. So when you think of somebody that isn't feeling confident or someone that's lacking the ability to feel safe inside of themselves, it's because at a certain level they may have been primed and they have been normalizing that when I'm around other people, I minimize my own frame to gain approval and validation from other people. So in a way, it's like when you're around people, you're not just being yourself and acceptance of yourself. You are taking on the responsibility of what they think and feel. And as a response, that feels burdened, that feels heavy. And what happens is then You, because you're wanting something from them subconsciously, you're abandoning yourself. You're at the effect of them, which is why then it can have a repellent effect in life. So you could say that the degree to which you are confident and magnetic is the degree to which you are in your own frame of reality and you are accepting of yourself, not tied to what other people think of you. So between 2 people, whoever has the strongest frame has the influence. And the key is not minimizing or abandoning yourself when you're around someone else for what you're making it mean with whether they approve of you or not. It's a very interesting thing to think about. Like when I think of, for example, a friend of mine, I think of 2 different versions of him. He's my best friend. He's someone that is a more quiet person than me. He identifies as like being a lot more shy, but he's on YouTube and stuff and he does this thing. But when we run events together and we're around each other, there's definitely a very different energy between us. But I remember for a long time we'd be running an event. There's a specific, these retreats in Costa Rica, and he would get in his head about being shy. He'd be like, oh, his wife and me are very like loud and outgoing, or just more outgoing in general. And he would be around other people and he would think, there's something wrong with me. I need to kind of force myself to be more outgoing. I need to, uh, express myself more because compared to them, I'm not as outgoing and I don't want people to think I'm rude or something. So he'd find himself at odds with this and sometimes in awkward situations because he's trying to force something that doesn't feel natural. But then something happened. He started to own that he is more quiet and a little bit more shy at times. I remember telling him, I'm like, dude, the fact that you aren't as outgoing as Patty and I is why we love you around so much. Because her and I are so talkative, to imagine having so many talkative people around, like it's him being present and him like not speaking as much is like he just a different energy, a different temperament. So, we kind of showed him like, dude, this is your superpower. So then what he did is he started to own his energy when he's at these retreats. He started to give himself permission to go off to the side and like relax and not need to always talk to people. He started just to own that he's like a more, a person who says less rather than more. And from that, he started to be more confident because he started to own his own energy more. You see, between 2 people, if you imagine someone, imagine these 2 different versions of him. One is, I own who I am. I accept who I am and I don't need to be any different than I am. And then imagine the other version is like, I need to be different. I need to force myself to be more loud or whatever. That energy creates resistance and abandoning of the self. And then around people, he'd feel a lot of resistance and he would say, I feel drained being around these people, but it's not other people draining him. It would've been him draining himself because of who he believed he had to be. So think about that for a minute. If you've ever said that you feel like drained around other people, maybe it's not so much that they are draining you, but it's more so who you believe you need to be around them is draining to try to be that person. It's draining to try to be a very outgoing person if that's who you think you need to be in order to be approved of. It's draining to be a person that is managing other people's emotions, if that's who you think you need to be. You see, but the unlock here, this unlock here can completely transform your life from the inside out if you really absorb it. Think about this. Who you need to be when you're around other people is the drain. It's the abandonment. It's the people pleasing. the overgiving, the perfectionism, the controlling, the, uh, self-reliance, hyper-independence— these are all a pattern. They're not you. But many times people will stay stuck in the patterns and find themselves believing they need to be that in order to gain the approval and validation from other people. And that is draining. So it's not so much that other people are draining you, it's more so who you think you need to be to gain their approval and That's what the drain is. So if instead you began to own you more, you began to accept you more, you would find that then you begin to carry yourself differently. But there's another aspect here that actually allows you to go even deeper. When you think of you being around other people and you think of you being the most confident version of you, The most confident version of you allows other people to feel tension, not needing to manage that tension. The part of you that feels responsible for their tension is the part of you that dissipates yourself, abandons yourself, and has you be kind of weird when you're around people. So the key to this, secondly, really, uh, wiring this in that can completely transform your life from the inside out is this thought experiment right here. Because confident people can accept that other people might not like them, and it's okay. So the thing is, is if you can get to a place where you realize freedom is the ability to be disliked— freedom is the ability to be disliked. This doesn't mean you go around saying, I want people to dislike me. I hope they don't like me. But you are really free, not when everybody likes you and approves of you. You are free when you can let it be okay with whether people like and approve of you or not, because you choose you. And you choosing you means you choosing your own frame over their frame. And part of it is subconsciously you may have been projecting onto them And giving them the frame so that they could tell you and say, you know, subconsciously get their approval and validation. So some of it is they might be demanding that frame from you in some ways if they're controlling, manipulative, or whatever they want from you. But part of it is you just might believe that this is who you need to be, so you might be projecting that frame onto them. So the key to this is understanding that you might project it onto them because you think You want them to approve of you and like you. Here's the thing to realize though. And if you wanna learn step by step how to shift into the most confident you, I'm doing a 3-day Magnetic You Challenge to show you how to become aware of your core pattern, how to release the energy underneath the surface, and how to wire in the most confident version of you at the identity level. It is completely free. We're starting very soon. You can go and grab your spot below. We'll be doing breathwork, meditations, and teachings to transform at the identity level. So, it's not just intellectual things you're learning, you actually embody it. Do you really want everyone to like you? Come on. You think, oh, I want every— is this even true? I want everyone to like me. If you think of that narcissistic person from years ago that you used to know, do you need them to like you? No. You might even say you don't want them to like you because if they like you, you gotta put up with it and deal with it. So it is not bad if certain people dislike you. Now, the challenge and the drain for people who feel like at times it's hard to be confident is that they make it their responsibility to gain other people's approval and validation. And that's a very draining job to have. It's a very heavy job to have, and it's a job that's not something you can even take on because you can't manage 60, you know, however many people you know's nervous systems around whether they like you or not. But if you can accept whether they like you, like if they like you or not, that's when you're really free. You know, it's, it's interesting when we are putting ourselves out, like when I put myself out here on, on YouTube, for example, and doing what I do, I'll get a lot of comments from people. I'll get really positive, powerful comments from people who are like, this changed my life. This was great. Some more like ones that are in the middle that are just kind of neutral. And then sometimes I'll get things from people that are negative comments. Now, the thing I've had to learn as I've been on this path for, you know, 9 years, 8 years now making content is that often the person's comment is a reflection of their beliefs, and sense of self, right? So people that leave, a lot of times people that leave positive comments, maybe part of it is they see something in me that they see that they're beginning to see in themselves or something like that. But people, a lot of times that have negative comments that say, this is dumb, or you're this, or you're that. If I internalize that and I make it my responsibility to get them on board, that's a very draining job to have. And also that says more about them. Right? Not in a judgmental way, like they're saying this, so therefore I judge them, because that also gets into like spiritual grandiosity and stuff. But just in general, it's like if I can accept, yeah, there's gonna be negative comments, it's okay. But if I go in here and I'm like, oh, I hope everybody likes me, it's a, it's a, it's a pressure that you can feel, because then also there's a, uh, there's an expectation there. So brings me to another point. The people that are the most magnetic are people that do not have an agenda for you with an attachment. Think about that for a minute. So the people that are the most confident, that are the most centered to themselves, don't have an agenda for you that they're attached to because they recognize that whatever you do doesn't mean something about them. But you see, if we internalize it, that's where things can begin to feel heavy when we're talking about confidence. Now, let me tell you this too. What's really interesting about negative comments on YouTube, you wanna know the ones that hurt the most? The times that it does, negative comments do sting. It's the things that are specific enough that they touch on a core insecurity that is like, maybe that is true. It's like the stuff that you might agree with, right? Like, oh, maybe that is true. Maybe that is, you know, like I remember back in the day, I've had to kind of like, you know, I create, for example, I create a lot of videos on YouTube. I create a lot of videos on podcasts and like live events. I'm talking about a very similar thing in a lot of different videos. I'm talking about letting go. I'm talking about raising vibration. I'm talking about breaking patterns. I've made 2,500+ pieces of videos on YouTube, and I've made thousands and thousands of videos on Instagram. I talk about some repetitive stuff sometimes, but I explain it from new angles with new stories and new energies. And a lot of people that follow me, they follow me because of the energy. But the thing I've had to accept about myself is that at times, certain things are repetitive. So back in the day, I would see a comment that's like, oh, this is repetitive. You talked about this a month ago, a week ago. And I'm like, The fundamentals are where the power is. If I was like, imagine having 2,500 YouTube videos and I put the pre— I agreed with that and every video had to be radically different, 2,500 different topics. That'd be, that would be a big burden for me, right? But what I've learned is to own it, right? But the other side of this is at times that comment would sting when I would agree with it. And for a while I did. And for a while I can even see where that could be true, but I've owned it. Do you see how that feels different? It's like, oh, you own it. You own that frame of reality. So this is something that you can see when you begin to recognize that how you carry yourself in the world, the permission you give yourself to be you, and the acceptance of yourself directly goes into your confidence when you're around other people. And when you're around other people, if you give yourself permission to be a little weird, if you give yourself permission to express yourself vulnerably, and you give yourself permission to let other people sit with tension, you will begin to be in more magnetic energy and more confident energy. Now, even think about what the idea of confidence actually means. The word confident actually has a root that means to trust. Now, to trust means it has to do with roots. It has to do with tree. If you think of a tree, it's got like deep roots. And what you wanna be rooted in is a sense of presence, a sense of self, a sense of allowing, a sense of being present with your emotions as they come up. And for many people that are on the self-development journey, one of the main challenges I see is this idea of what I call the snapback effect. You snap back to the old you. You're like, I could start to be confident, but then I stop. I snap back into old patterns. And a lot of times people will then be trying to change themselves. So it's like, I study self-development, I do inner child work, I'm trying to get over there to become the most confident version of me. That is also rooted though in a certain level, a lot of times, of trying to get somewhere else, believing that somewhere else is better, and the shame that comes with like, if I could just be better, then I'd be good enough. So it's almost like that tends to run people. And what happens is then you could feel drained and you can find yourself kind of like always putting the carrot on a stick a little bit further than where you are. And one of the huge insights that you can experience is when you begin to instead envelop the energy of acceptance. So maybe your next breakthrough isn't on trying to become this new identity, this more confident version of you. Maybe it's accepting a part of yourself That you used to not accept. Because often we're trying to change, and we're trying to change the inner child. We're trying to change these other aspects of ourself. And the other trap I see people get caught up in is they intellectualize it. They're trying to figure things out, right? If I can remember my inner child and remember the doubt that I had as a kid, and I can nurture that inner child, then I can heal and be good enough. When in fact, maybe that's a distraction from feeling. Maybe that's a distraction from just feeling the emotion underneath the surface. And I believe a lot of self-development, a lot of trying to become better, is rooted in a distraction from feeling the uncomfortable emotion underneath. And when you begin to feel that uncomfortable emotion, you begin to heal in a very powerful way because there's acceptance there. So something that will really transform your life is when instead of trying to do top-down approaches to like Healing, the bottom-up approach. Bottom-up approach is things like breathwork. It's things like somatically feeling. It's your ability to be present with the emotions that come up. Something I'm doing soon is a 3-day challenge for you becoming the most magnetic you, where you will become aware of your core pattern, and then you will release it from the inside out to release that stored energy so that you begin to become free so that you can allow in more love, more abundance, and not be attached to the outcome. It's identity shifts that happen over 3 days. It's completely free. I'll go ahead and link it below and you can join it. And realize that in these challenges, it's identity shifting. It's like you want to shift at the identity level and otherwise the snapback comes in. And the challenge is that people that wanna feel confident, they think they're not confident. You already are confident in something. Think about this for a minute. If you say, oh, I'm not confident, you might say, I'm not confident when I'm around certain people, but realize you might be confident in being able to abandon yourself around people. Think about this for a minute. So when you're around other people, you may be confident at abandoning yourself around people. So you're already confident in something. Like the idea of you're always believing and trusting in something. So doubt doesn't exist in the same way in which we think it does. You are always 100% believing in something. You just might be 100% believing that you must abandon yourself around people. You might be 100% confident that you need to be an over-giver and you need to abandon yourself to help other people or ease their tension or take on their tension. So don't ever say that you're not confident. You're confident in something. You're just confident in an outdated role and a childhood pattern that you took on as a kid, but it's not really you. I know for years I identified as a people pleaser and I hated myself for it in some ways. I would reject it 'cause I noticed my dad was a people pleaser and I'd see it as weak and I'd be like, why is this pattern coming out? Why do I want their— I don't want them to feel bad. I'm a good person. I always ease people's emotions and energies like that. And I had this like stored anger towards myself. But one of the things I had to realize is I began to accept that people pleaser part of me, began to allow it to be there. Instead of seeing it as something I had to change, I saw this is a very powerful mechanism, very powerful strategy that allowed me to avoid feeling the pain and tension that came with letting people sit with tension. But that actually became my initiation into a new version of me. So creating an identity shift is to stop telling yourself, I am a shy person, I am this person, unless you think shy is a power, is superpower. You think shy is bad. If you think, you know, being a people pleaser, you can accept that part of you, but stop telling yourself that's who you are. That's not who you are. That's a strategy. And when you stop telling yourself that that's who you are, you'll start to realize, well, who am I really? You just may have not put in the reps yet. This is the thing with identity. It's about embodying a new you through repetition. Like, if you think about it, back in the day, I was working that 9-to-5 job. I was thinking, feeling, acting equal to a 9-to-5 job-going version of me that was a people pleaser, ironically enough, in a service-based industry where I could serve other people and then feel good about myself. But at the same time, it was like, that was my repetition. That's what I did every day. And I had a lot of confidence that this is who I am, even if this is who I am as like a people pleaser who, I wasn't feeling confident inside of myself. But eventually, I made the choice to start being a YouTuber version of myself, start putting myself out there. And with repetitions, I became more confident. Same thing when it came to breaking people-pleasing patterns. I started to put repetitions in with saying no when I actually felt no. I started actually expressing myself when I would normally hold myself back. And through repetitions, and it felt uncomfortable. And then I'd go through a little process where I think I'd feel their emotions, but instead I learned to let them feel the tension, knowing it's not my thing to manage. I'd focus on feeling the tension and then doing it anyways. And then through repetitions of expressing my real self, letting people sit with tension, et cetera, over time it became who I am now, which is I'm able to be present with what I feel, express how I feel, Know that other people's tension's not my thing to manage. And then that allows me to feel safe in my own frame of reality. So now when I'm around people, I'm not trying to fix them, not trying to please them. In fact, I know that one of the best, most powerful ways for me to influence people and to help them is for me just to be present. And when you're abandoning yourself to be with other people and trying to fix them and take on their stuff, that's not presence. That's a pattern. So recognize that inside of yourself, your ability to accept your patterns, your ability to be present with what you feel, your ability to express yourself with repetitions will begin to change your identity over time. And then eventually you will feel confident in something. Like the more I do anything, the more confident I get. So it's not that you, to become confident in something, you don't need another video or meditation even just to make you confident. You need to take action and start to express yourself. You need to start being the part of you that you feel snaps you back to the old. That snap back to the old energy is just the belief systems trying to keep you in familiar because familiar feels like family. You break free when you make the choice to embody that new you. So if you want to join that 3-day challenge, that's what we're gonna be doing for 3 days is completely transforming from the inside out and identity level. You can go and grab your spot below for the next one. Then also, if you want a meditation that will begin to raise your vibration over time, do it for 21 days. It's one of my most popular ones. Go ahead and check the comments to see what's possible and increase the belief it can work for you. Do it for 21 days and watch what shifts.