How to become so magnetic people wonder “who is this?”

What if you could become so magnetic that people literally wonder, who is this? You become unrecognizable to the people that are already in your life, and you start to embody an energy so magnetic that people that didn't know you before literally want to get to know you. And what if there were just a few little shifts that if you made inside of your energy would completely transform you from the inside out? Now, the first thing to understand about this that alone, I believe, will completely transform your life is recognizing this, that you and how you accept and choose you is going to be how other people respond to you because other people in your life are literally mirrors. They are mirroring back to you what you believe about yourself. And in this video, I wanna share a new idea that I've never talked about before on the channel really. And what this is, is this idea and understanding that very often what we do is we transfer, it's called transference. We transfer onto other people in our life the pattern and the energy that has been familiar from childhood. So think about it. If as a kid, who did you have to be to be loved and approved of as a kid? Did you have to be the good girl or boy? Did you have to be perfect? Did you have to be the tension resolver in the family? Whoever that is, that may be the pattern that's literally blocking you from being your most calm, expressive self. And because you aren't giving yourself permission to get into this energy, what happens is other people feel that you're literally siphoning them off from who you really are. How can other people really trust you when you're not being the real you? And why would you be so selfish to actually rob people from knowing the real you? It's selfish if you think about it. Now part of it's rooted in a trauma where it's like, well, I'm afraid that if I am my true self, if I have this bright light, if I do express who I really am, they're gonna feel tension. But what happens is that tension or whatever you're afraid of, that's not your thing to manage. And because you're taking on that burden, you're literally blocking yourself from being your most common expressive self. So understand that what happens when it comes to magnetic energy in general is that it's really true when you hear that common saying that people say, it's both true and not true at the same time. What's the most annoying thing you hear when it comes to attracting love or being magnetic? Just be yourself. Just be yourself. You say, what do you mean be yourself? But I'm not talking about the self of the patterns where you abandon yourself to make other people happy, or the patterns around hyper-independence, people pleasing, perfectionism, trying to fix, those are patterns that you have abandoned you to make them happy. Those are patterns that literally are siphoning your energy because you're afraid that someone else might not like or approve of you. And literally it's a nervous system thing because you might not feel safe unless you are easing the tension in the household or something. But when I realized this, by the way, this completely shifted my life because then I could see that the people I was attracting into my life was because there was some unresolved energy there that was getting me to actually be more authentic and expressive. And it shifted everything when I began to apply it. So realize right now that the first thing you need to realize is that it might be familiar for you to have this pattern, but that this pattern is not who you are, okay? You might have a pattern around people pleasing, being hyper-independent, whatever the ones I already labeled, you heard them. These patterns though, This is not who you are, okay? When people say to me, I was just on the Instagram Live, but people say, "I attract emotionally unavailable people." No, you don't. People say, "I attract narcissists." No, you don't. You don't attract narcissists and emotionally unavailable people. You have a pattern that wants resolve, and that pattern that wants resolve is attracting those people because you need to learn a lesson. Or that lesson might not be that you need to keep it in your life. That lesson might be to express yourself. That might be for you to say no to an energy. That might be for you to not take on their responsibility. So when people say, I attract people, many times that the different faces, what I hear the other day, different fonts, different fonts but same message, whatever. The energy stays the same even though the faces change. There's an unresolved energy there that wants resolve. And the way in which you resolve this energy is by integrating an aspect of yourself you've been avoiding. Okay, so first off, when you stop abandoning you and you start accepting you, that's when you'll start to be more free. The more I accept myself, Like I think of my insecurities and there's different insecurities. Like I have a loud voice, I need to tone it down. I have an intense energy and there are times where I'm like, I'm too intense. I need to be different than I am. If you simply own who you are, that's magnetic because you are accepting you. And then whether people accept you or not, it's fine. But they're comfortable to be around you because you are in the energy of you accepting you and that feels calm to the nervous system. But you see, what you may have subconsciously been doing is you might be actually, you might be actually robbing other people from knowing the real you because you're holding your light back. And when you hold your light back, it's selfish. You think it's not, but it's literally, when you see it like that, 'cause people that hear this sometimes, they care a lot about what other people think, but not about what they think 'cause they might not feel worthy. But when you realize that yourself selfishly holding your energy back, now maybe you'll do it for them because maybe you wouldn't do it for yourself, okay? So first off, realize this. This alone can begin to shift your life. You being the real you, accepting the real you, and not abandoning you because you feel responsible for other people, okay? Now the second thing that I think will completely change everything is this. Are you ready? There is a villain era. That if you move into will completely transform your energy. Now, what do I mean by the villain era? Now, let's look again at this abandonment thing, right? That if you abandon you for other people, you stop being you. And we'll get into why you stop doing that and how to like the cure to this in a moment. But what happens is there's a part of you that the shadow in which you're afraid to become is actually the gold to freedom. It is actually the goal to a new you. So when I say villain era, I mean all of the things that as a kid you thought were bad were the things that are keeping you trapped. You may, it may as a kid been bad to express the real you. As a kid, it may have been bad to stand up for yourself. As a kid, it may have been bad to be authentic. It may have been bad to have needs. It may have been bad to be selfish in a certain way in which you look at it. And what happens is because of that bad, you then wanna be good. So when you ask yourself the question, who did I have to be as a kid to receive mom and dad's love? It may be I had to be good. I had to be the easy child. I had to be the peacemaker. These are different things, different things that you might have been actually subconsciously avoiding. And if you were to actually tap into that, you would become way more free. Now also, when I think of this as well, I think of the perpetrator, rescuer, villain, basically, oh, villain, victim. So there's victim, there's victim, perpetrator, rescuer. This is called the codependency triangle. Very often what people will do is if you had tension in a household as a kid, you may become the rescuer, that's saving everybody else. Or you may become the victim, the person that's receiving the bad end of this. And then you had a perpetrator of mom or dad. Or you may have been said, I need to become the perpetrator so that I'm not in a weak position of being the victim. But regardless, we have these different archetypes inside of us in some ways. And very often what happens with people that are dissipating their energy is they're in the energy of the rescuer and the pleaser. Which is in the energy of trying to fix. And guess what? If you believe it is your job to fix other people, you take on a big burden with you. If you believe it is your job to please other people, you take on a big burden with you. And it is then your job to fix everybody else. You see, when I learned this, what I realized is I was very much in the victim rescuer role and I was afraid of being the perpetrator or the villain. And I was actually avoiding a certain level of my power. So for example, because from 7 to 17 or 7 to, yeah, 9 to 17, I had an ex-stepmom in my life that was very controlling and manipulative and very like angry. There was a decision I made subconsciously that I will, to be loved and approved of as a kid, I had to be on eggshells, I had to be pleasing, I had to be nice. It bred that kind of personality. And then I ended up having a lot of resistance 'cause I despised myself for it. But what I would do is I never wanted to be like her, my ex-stepmom. And the thing is, is that even though there was this evil perspective of how she would come off and how she was, I would also disown the power that she had. So it was very hard for me to look at. Even though she was kind of manipulative and controlling, and had a lot of anger, I repressed my own anger. I would hold myself back from being assertive. When I would look at the difference between my ex-stepmom and my dad, my dad was assertive with his work in some ways, but kind of not assertive in personal life. And what eventually I realized is my ex-stepmom, she was assertive in every area. That was like her trauma response as a kid to her not being a victim was that she had to become a perpetrator because she was beat by her dad. And that was how she dealt with it. Me understanding that too, I think helped heal a little bit too because I realized it wasn't personal. 'Cause as a kid, you think everything's personal, right? It's my fault, there's something wrong with me. And then how can you be magnetic when you literally think there's something wrong with you? But what I realized is that my ex-stepmom, even though she was controlling and manipulative, she did anything she wanted to do, she went, fricking went for it. There was like no other option and she would make things happen. She would express how she felt in different moments, even if it was like painful. And even though at times that was like probably something that was unpleasant or like out of, like toxic, there were aspects of it that were sometimes also somewhat healthy to express. So what I recognized for myself and my biggest unlock was actually allowing me to become the villain. And what the villain means is the villain means expressing the real you. It means being assertive and being who you're afraid to become because you might be afraid of rejection. You might be, the thing is, is I had to realize that by being assertive doesn't mean I'm being my ex-stepmom. I, instead of just seeing the negative in her, I could also see the positive that I received. And that also helps with healing. So there was healing that happened when I recognized that my ex-stepmom was treated the same way by her dad from a couple stories she told me. And that because she was treated that way, she became who she was. Understanding a lot of times can be a very powerful way to start to forgive. And then also recognizing that it's not that she was that way 'cause there was something wrong with me. That also allowed some freedom there. But then I started to ask myself, what is my villain era? Now, when I first learned about this was a couple years ago when in my life I was helping everybody I could, trying to fix everybody in my life. And what happened is by trying to fix everybody, I would take on this energy of just feeling drained. I felt like it was my responsibility to fix. And that responsibility to fix was a big burden. And then I would stop myself from being authentic. And I was actually, the thing and the unlock for you listening to this right now is that if there's someone else in your life that you're afraid to express yourself or afraid to set boundaries with, understand that you expressing yourself and setting boundaries, even though it's uncomfortable, might be the reflection they need to grow. So as the rescuer, I could recognize that there were certain people in my life that I was trying to fix. Trying to help, but it was actually stopping them from growing and standing in their power. And then I would feel drained or I would feel not appreciated. But eventually I had to let myself become the villain by not fixing everything for people. And as I stepped into that energy of being the villain, I then, there was a certain level of power with that. Now of course, I don't mean the perpetrator like I'm toxically wanting people to feel like crap. What I mean is letting people sit with their emotion and energy without trying to fix and recognizing, letting it be okay if people do see you as a villain. Or see you as bad? This might be the biggest unlock for you. What is the emotion and energy that you've been avoiding because of the people you attract into your life? Remember, it's not you that attracts narcissists. It's not that you that attracts, like, that attracts emotionally unavailable people. It's the pattern on the inside of you that wants resolve. It's the pattern. There's something to learn there. Maybe it's to stand up for yourself. Maybe it's to express the real you. Maybe it's to actually set boundaries. Maybe it's to give someone space. Maybe it's to let someone go. What is the lesson here for you to resolve that inside you? How can you show up for you more? You see, this is what will unlock you. Become bad. Become the villain. Your villain era. But I don't mean toxic, I don't mean treating people, you see what I mean? But what you think of as bad is actually authentic. So what happened for me is for me to become the most authentic magnetic version of me, I had to start living by the values of vulnerability and authenticity. I had to start living according to the values of like letting other people feel tension and it's not my thing to manage, baby. That was very hard to do because then when people would feel tension, there'd be this desire to fix. It's not my thing to fix. And in fact, their growth might be letting them sit with their emotion and energy, not needing to fix them. Which is why if you take this a step further and you wanna really do the deepest level work of becoming the most magnetic you, here's what it is. When you begin to see, hear, soothe, and nurture the inner child part of you that you may have been ignoring, that's when you'll become more free. Not try to fix them, by the way. A very powerful thing that I recommend you do right now if you can is this. Go on your phone and what you're going to do is you are going to put an inner child photo of you as your wallpaper. And what you're gonna do is you're gonna do this. And every single day, you're going to connect to this part of you. You're gonna see them, hear them, soothe them, nurture them. What emotions are they feeling? And you're going to not try to fix them. And as you start to see, hear, soothe, and nurture them, you'll find that there's a different response in your nervous system. You'll find that what happens is you start to connect to a part of you that may be looking for resolve and may be transferring stuff to other people in your life, subconsciously. And when you begin to connect to this part of you, you will begin to feel different because the most powerful transformation you'll experience in your life is when you learn to connect to the mother, father, child triad because that is what overlays every area of your life. Your connection to your mom is your connection to relationships. 'cause she was your first relationship. Your connection to your dad is your connection to self and boundaries. Their relationship with each other became your model for relationship and who you had to be to fix them or to be with them. If you had to be naive, if you had to be a pleaser, if you had to be a fixer, if you had to be loud, if you had to be the problem child, these are things that are keeping that chaos, that energy in your life, 'cause it feels familiar. And when you begin to accept, feel, and heal, that's when everything begins to change. Now, something that we're doing too, if you haven't heard, is we're doing a 21-day challenge for integrating this emotion, learning what is called the repatterning process. If you wanna learn the repatterning process to completely transform your life from the inside out and do this kind of work to become your most magnetic self, check the link in the description box below. If you've seen this video, we've already started 1 or 2 days into it, but you can still join now and become a part of it and learn how to really shift your life from the inside out by doing this deep-level work. It's not surface-level stuff. It's not affirmations. It's removing the love blocks and the blocks to abundance by doing this kind of work. So go and link that below and you can see it. But realize that the third step to this entire process, to you becoming the most magnetic you, is learning to express without attachment to how people respond. Expression is the key to your freedom. Expressing the real you, expressing how you feel, that is what opens up love. That's what opens up authenticity. For me to create the abundance that I have on YouTube, the more, like I remember going to that 9 to 5 job back in the day and when I would go and my intention was on making money and it was on getting something, there was a different energy. Than having the intention of expressing my personality and connecting. When you express, you do connect. Express the real you and let people choose you or not. So now when I make these videos, it's like, how can I express myself more? How can I have more fun with this process? Even when you're going on a date, if you go on a date with someone, express the real you. Have fun with the process. Share the things you're afraid to share sometimes. So many times I've had times where I meet people and I hold myself back and I don't give myself permission and then I finally do. And whether they approve of it or not, like it or not, it's like because I am showing up for me and it's like my relationship with me is what's being wired in, other people kind of like can feel that. And it's very expressive, it's very powerful. And a lot of the biggest blocks to you being magnetic, by the way, 'Cause what's really keeping you blocked is an old identity and role of who you had to be as a kid to receive love and approval from mom and dad. And the pattern is who you think you are. That's why you say, "I attract over-givers, I attract over-takers, I attract hyper-independent people, emotionally unavailable people." You don't. You just think that you are your patterns. And when you become aware that it's a pattern that wants resolved, you then start doing the real work. You start seeing, hearing, soothing, nurturing that part of you. And then as you accept that part of you, you then become more free to express the real you. So as I've expressed the real me, even my relationship, it happened because of vulnerability, because we were friends for years and we were always in different relationships. But eventually there was a moment when we were on a trip with friends in Costa Rica last year, and there was an opportunity to like express how we both really felt about us. And it was a mutual thing, but there was afraid of what if this makes it weird? We've been friends for 5 years. That vulnerability of expression is what opened up everything. And so many people, I say this, like you expressing how you feel to mom and dad, you expressing how you feel to a friend that you've lost contact with, You express yourself to somebody that you've been holding something in with, you will feel more free. So my encouragement to you today is to focus on actually expressing vulnerably and authentically something to something you've been holding back. Maybe it's to a lover, friend, someone you work with. Watch what happens as you open up and as that, and as you're okay with whether they accept you or not. Because if you are only okay with them, if they accept you and your vulnerability, what you are doing is trying to control them. What you're doing is not accepting them. And when you're trying to control them, people feel that and that creates resistance. So realize that the more you can accept you, the more you can then give yourself permission to be you and that your unconditional acceptance of them, whether they choose you or not, becomes the magnetic energy. This is where things really will shift for you. When you can let people choose you or not, you're magnetic because it's not your job to manage. When you can accept them, that's like a mirror in reality. Not accepting them, you're not accepting them when you're, demanding that they choose you and that they sit here in the energy with you. You can have the standard, by the way, and then maybe you choose to be around people that you can emotionally be, feel comfortable around. But what I'm saying is don't have the expectation that they have to be and demand it because that creates that attachment. Not to say you can't walk away from it and be in your own energy. I'm just saying very, I remember coaching someone at a live event once and that was his breakthrough because he was like, "When I'm vulnerable and express myself, I get shamed." And that was towards the end of that was his breakthrough. It was like, "Oh, by trying to control them and I'm not accepting them. I'm mad they're not accepting me, but I'm not accepting them." And that was a huge breakthrough because then it was a mirror. If he could accept them, whether they choose him or not, he's then accepting himself because he can choose to be in the relationship or not. But also there's a deeper connection there. To that mirror of reality. So with that being said, if you want to learn more about how to completely shift your life from the inside out and how to become the most magnetic you in a very powerful way, we're gonna be doing that in the 21-day challenge below. But also if you want a meditation that will really help you wire all of this in, I have a meditation on raising what's called your dominant vibration. It's been downloaded or listened to over 3 million times. Read the comments to see what's possible. Listen to that for 21 days and watch how it changes your energy. I'm gonna go ahead and link it right here.