How to become so magnetic you stop caring if they like you

The more you detach from trying to be magnetic, the more being magnetic will attach to you. Why is this paradox so true? Do you think the people that are the most magnetic people you know or that you've seen are people that are like, how do I be magnetic? What do I have to do? What do I have to say? That's not what this is about. You are already magnetic if you are watching this video. And what I want to do is I want to show you how to embrace that magnetic that you naturally are, how to embody it, give yourself permission to feel it, how to own the part of yourself that if you owned will completely transform your life. This is exactly what allowed me to embody magnetic energy. I've made like 2,000+ YouTube videos and thousands of videos in the last years that I've been on social media. And think— people are attracted to my content many times not for the things that I say, because I say a lot of times the same kind of things over and over again in different ways. They say it's because of my energy. It's because of how I carry myself. And in this video, I want to show you exactly how you can begin to embody that magnetic energy inside of you. I want to show you how to embrace what is called your dark side. When you do, will completely transform your life. And I want to show you that once you get into the energy of what I show you how to do, you will find that you aren't attached to trying to be magnetic at all. You'll find yourself having more fun in the moment. You'll find yourself not needing to fix other people, not needing to get them on board. You'll realize that those patterns weren't really you and that who you really are is this magnetic self. So So I recommend you watch this video all the way through. It takes on a life of its own and begin to set the intention that in 3 months from now, you are a completely more free, magnetic, and expressive version of you simply because of the seeds that were planted in this video. So set that intention for yourself. Set that intention for everyone else watching this video. And as you do it for them, they are doing it for you. And let's set that intention right now. to shift into this magnetic self. If you were to go out, there's actually a book on this. There's a book, what's it called? It's called Rejection Proof, I think. Somebody went out to get rejected 100 days in a row. It was like this quiet little Asian guy who was kind of like afraid to be seen. He probably had the invisible pattern. And he went out into the world and guess, here's what happened. He goes out in the world and he has to get rejected 100 days in a row. And every day he goes out, it gets a little bit more intense. So the first day he probably goes up to someone, he's like, excuse me, do you know what time it is? And someone's like, yeah, it's this. Or then he asks for something else, he gets rejected. Oh, I'm rejected. By the end of it, he was doing pretty out-there things. He'd have to like go places and make weird demands. He, uh, one of the things he did is he went to a Krispy Kreme and asked them If they would put the donuts in the shape of the Olympic symbol. And then one of the Krispy Kremes did it, and then he blogged about it and it went mega viral and gave all this positive PR to Krispy Kreme because they went above and beyond. But by the end of it, he wasn't some little quiet guy that was afraid to express himself. But here's one of the things he said that's one of the things that I think will really maybe unlock something inside of you. When you— he would go out wanting to get rejected because it was part of the challenge. So he would go out to get rejected. And when he would go out to get rejected, because he did not have resistance to getting rejected, guess what happened? It was hard for him to get rejected. Yeah, some of you guys have seen that, I see. So, it's hard to get rejected because you don't have resistance to being rejected. And when you don't have resist— so, you don't have resistance to— you want to not be rejected. Right? If— think about this for a minute. This might be an unlock for some of you. So, imagine that scenario with that book, right? If you are at no resistance to being rejected and you go out and you actually want to be rejected, It's going to take you a long time to get rejected because you don't have resistance inside of your body. But if you go out and you don't want to be rejected and you're thinking of not getting rejected because of what it would mean if they rejected you, then it's also a lot of importance that's put onto this thing that means nothing, by the way. It's an internalized meaning of what that means. So when you think of magnetic energy, realize that the degree to which you are in magnetic energy is the degree to which you accept yourself and the emotions that you feel. It is the degree to which you can accept yourself and embrace that emotion and energy. Are you guys seeing this? So magnetic energy is really about self-acceptance. That's one of the pillars, is self-acceptance of whatever you're feeling. Now, when you— first off, understand this too: you're already magnetic, okay? Type in the chat, I am magnetic, because you are, okay? Whether you say it or anybody say, I'm not magnetic, Aaron, I, I have all these blocks. Maybe sometimes I have these intimacy blocks, or I find myself Blocking, blocking love or some blocking. Say the word blocking. Blocking. You're always magnetic to something. Back in 2017, when I had a nine-to-five job, I was magnetic to a nine-to-five job I didn't like. I was magnetic to people I felt I had to prove myself against. You're already magnetic. What? So. Type in I am magnetic. Own it. You are magnetic whether you realize it or not. It's just sometimes you might be magnetic to things you don't want. You're like, what, Aaron? You might be magnetic to emotionally unavailable people. And you say, Aaron, how do I stop being— I don't want to be magnetic to emotionally available people. But here's the thing, emotionally unavailable people— it's gonna be backwards on Instagram. Emotionally unavailable people. May you may be magnetic to them, or you may magnetize them to you, or you actually might even be attracted to this. Isn't it kind of weird? Isn't it kind of weird that you might not want emotionally unavailable people to come into your life? But subconsciously, you might be kind of attracted to it. Why might you be attracted to emotionally unavailable people? Put it in the chat. Why? What about emotionally unavailable people might be attractive? Well, first off, in childhood, if emotionally— if you had an emotionally unavailable mom or dad, that might feel familiar. And you might say, well, I don't want emotionally unavailable people. But if you had some emotionally available person in your life, that might feel uncomfortable to you. And in fact, you may actually not even be attracted to that, because some— a lot of times people say that they're blocked in love. Many times there's people that might actually be trying to come into their life, but they literally are like, I'm not trying— I'm not attracted to you because you're not subconsciously, right, emotionally unavailable where I can prove my sense of worth to you. You see, we tend to make other people important that reflect back the unresolved energy from childhood. Does this make sense? And if you want to remove love blocks in your life, whether you're single and you want to attract love into your life, or you're already in a relationship and you want to go deeper, I am going to be running a 21-day Magnetic Love Challenge. I have had over 4,000 people in the past go through this challenge. It has been over a year since we ran the last cohort of it. We are gonna be running it live soon. And every time I run this live, I get messages for months afterwards from people that went deeper in their relationships, for people that went and actually attracted love into their lives. I get messages from people that just stop abandoning themselves and find that friendships and relationships in their life are completely transformed. And this is because this is where we do inner mother-father-child dynamic work. This is where we begin to become our most magnetic selves from the inside out through identity-level transformational exercises, coaching, meditations, and breathwork. This is the most powerful work that I do. This is the most powerful product that I even have. And we're gonna be doing this live very soon, and I would love to invite you in. You can click the link below, grab your spot. We're gonna be started soon. Let's do this together and become our most magnetic selves so that we can attract love and deeper connections into our life in a very powerful way. So go and grab your spot below, and I hope to see you on the inside. So if you think of like, you might be, You might be a magnet to entitled people or overtakers. And think about it. What if you had a pattern of overgiving? You become a magnet to overtakers. Yeah, someone says, oh boy, this is good. The importance thing. The importance thing. It's really important to understand importance. Isn't that a paradox? OK. Here's an insight that I think might unlock something for some of you. The things you deem the most important that you want to receive from other people generally are the things that you deemed important as a kid because you didn't receive them. So, for example, if it— If significance or validation is subconsciously important to you, consciously you don't want to admit it. You don't want to admit it. Like, no, I don't want validation. I don't want validation or approval. I don't want significance. But deep, deep down, do you? Hmm. If these 2 things were very important because you didn't receive them as a kid, Then what can happen is you then make it important and you go out into the world looking for people to see you, validate you, etc. The challenge is that there's also normalization around not receiving it, and the belief is that you need to prove yourself to get it. Does that make sense? Yeah, we all want significance, 100%. When you hear Tony Robbins talk about it, He talks about the 6 human needs. There's certainty, uncertainty, significance, connection, contribution, and growth. 6 human needs. These are all human needs. So, significance and validate or slash validation, that's a human need. The challenge is if it's the most important human need, you then put it— you may put it on a pedestal. Not you, probably friends that you know. Because no one wants to admit this. But guess what? Guess who really wants this? Who do you think? Who do you think really wants this? Yes, I see some people in the chat already saying it. The only way for you to receive this emotion and energy, it's— you're not going to find it on the outside. You must first give it to yourself. Which is the inner child part of you that wants to feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. Now here's the thing. Someone says, I can give it to myself. Partially true. Partially true. You can give it to yourself. Some of the challenges with all of this though is you can develop a big block around love and connection when you're doing all the inner work yourself. Okay? Because it's like, yeah, I found Aaron's videos on letting go. I'm going to let go. I don't need no one. I don't need no man. I don't need no woman. I do this myself. I'm going to go heal. I'm going to meditate. I'm going to listen to another meditation. The challenge is that relational— these patterns were developed in relational trauma between mom, dad, and the family system as a kid. So what happens is, as an adult, it's like, well, I just figure it all out myself. But then it becomes almost a shield to not actually lean in for connection or lean in to express vulnerability of what you actually want to receive. So there are times in which letting go is a one— a very powerful way to begin giving the inner child part of yourself the emotions you didn't receive as a kid. Very powerful, but don't let that be something that holds you back from actually being vulnerable in relationship and dynamics. Can you guys see this? Like, I remember in my relationship, in the very beginning of us dating, um, there was— there were blocks at times around when something would come up for me. There was A belief or a block around expressing that, expressing that vulnerably. Hey, I'm feeling this way. And then what would happen is I'd be like, I have to deal with this myself. This is my own energy. I need to deal with this myself. I will just let go and go into my cave and do my inner work. And I would do that, but then my girlfriend would feel. that something was off. And I'm like, I'm just processing and healing by myself. And eventually what I had to learn to do was to actually express, oh hey, this is coming up for me right now, kind of uncomfortable. But what's interesting is every time I would do that, I would be met with presence and appreciation for sharing it, which then signaled to me that it is safe to actually express. So through vulnerability That is one of the ways in which you unlock and heal the childhood energy to then become more calm and safe inside of yourself so that you're no longer hoarding it inside of you, feeling blocked. Can you guys see that? What ways can we be vulnerable while dating? Vulnerability. Okay, let me think of a few. There's a few examples that come to me with this. I remember one time, um, years ago when I was meeting someone that I went on a date with for one of the first times. I knew this person was vegan, and I was vegan like years ago, but I remember that in the moment when I was going on this date, there was an opportunity for me to almost kind of like I was almost like ashamed of the fact that I ate meat, or wondering if they would judge me or not. But one of the first ways in which I remember I started to break that pattern was I just chose to be real and express— like, real and expressive with like who I was. So I remember I was like, I just owned that I wasn't vegan. And but there was a part of me that was like, oh well, maybe this is, uh, this will cause problems. I had experiences sometimes where people maybe would judge that or not like that. So there was a part of me that was like, well, am I going to abandon myself to be who I think this person would want me to be, or I'm just going to be who I really am and actually express who I really am? So I remember in that moment, there was a— there was an opportunity for me to be more vulnerable. And this is why, by the way, magnetic energy is authentic. It is congruent. And it is vulnerable. And the thing that you allow people to do is you allow people to know and see the real you. Like, whether they like it or not, the tension they feel is their interpretation of the authentic you. Does this— do you guys connect to this? Yeah. Now, the block for many people is that as kids, if you had a pattern that your job was to mitigate tension, then what you end up doing is you end up mitigating authenticity, because it is authentic to feel tension in different moments. So like, if you don't think you're allowed to express anger or express when something pisses you off, you will hold that back, and you're literally subconsciously robbing other people From knowing the real you. You're robbing those people. You have the gift of who you are that you could be sharing with people, but by not being the real you because you're afraid if they're going to feel tension, you're robbing them from knowing the real authentic you. So understand that your relationship to tension is also connected to your ability to be magnetic. If you think of someone— think of someone that's like a people pleaser. So if you write down the word people pleaser, it's gonna be backwards for you guys. Okay, so if you think of people pleasers who are easing tension, it's like part of the reason that tension is eased is because there's also a desire for validation or significance and to To have everyone feel good, because if you feel good, I can feel good because your emotions are my emotions. So part of magnetic energy is recognizing that it's not your job to mitigate other people's emotions or energies. But when you think of a nice guy, for example, think of the archetype of a nice guy. Someone that's very agreeable. That's like, yes, I'll do this for you. I'll do anything you want. I'm always here for you. I'm just super nice. Someone that is nice, how many of you are attracted to a nice guy or a nice girl? How many of you are repelled? It is a red flag to be around someone that's just really nice all the time. They don't have anything they don't like. They're just, this is who I am. What do you like? Cool, I'll do anything for you. Now, the difference, by the way, between nice and kind is that kind is just who you are and it's without attachment to outcome. Nice comes with an agenda. I will be nice to you and you will give me affection. You'll do whatever I want. If I'm nice to you, you'll like me and you'll stick around. But being nice is repellent because to be nice is to be inauthentic. Being nice or a people pleaser is a pattern. It's not really you. It's a protective pattern. Does this make sense? You guys see what I'm laying down here? Yeah. So nice, nice. Here's the interesting thing. Nice guys and girls, they are afraid of tension because someone else's tension is their tension. The challenge is that with magnetic energy, When you think of a magnet, I'm going to put the black part right here. When you think of a magnet, what do magnets have? Put in the chat. Magnets both attract, and the degree to which they attract is the degree to which what? Put it in the chat. The more you attract, the more you. Put in the chat. Somebody put it in freaking chat. I'm just kidding. There's always a, um, there's always a delay, so I'm like, just kind of output. Attract and repel. Thank you, Miriam. Repel. Repelling is what creates polarity. You see the difference there? Polarity is what creates attraction and magnetic energy. So the degree to which you can attract is directly connected to your degree to which you repel. Now, to repel means when you are authentic and expressive and being the real you, if other people feel tension and you don't mitigate that tension and try to like fix it, that's where magnetic energy comes. But nice guys and girls And people pleaser guys and girls and overgivers, they do— they subconsciously do everything they can to ease tension because it's a survival mechanism from childhood. So the key to this is learning to embrace tension, which means that that tension might be vulnerability. That might be giving someone the opportunity to choose you or not. Do you see the difference there? Someone says, so you have to risk repelling people if you want people authentically to authentically like you. You have to be, be okay either way with whether people like you or not is not your thing to manage. Reminds me of the Mac Dre quote that I use sometimes, which probably only 10 of you know the reference. Bay Area rapper from back in the day, but he's got a song that says, not my job. That's not my job, okay? Whether they like you or not, that's not my job. That's not your job to figure out. Your job is to be the most vulnerable and expressive you, the most real and authentic you. And when someone is asking earlier, well, how do I, like, how do I apply being magnetic on dates? The way you're magnetic on dates or in your relationship or whatever, one of the most magnetic qualities you have is to express the authentic you and to be real. And to also— there's other elements of that too. Is playfulness magnetic? When you think of nice guys and people pleasers, a lot of times they are afraid. They're afraid of causing tension in someone else. So a lot of times what they do is they also have blocks around flirtation. Because they don't want to be bad and have, have any type of, um, like sexual expression. So there's a block there too. Can you see the difference there? Because sexual expression is a form of vulnerability, isn't it? If you share with someone that you're attracted to them or you flirt with them, that causes tension on someone to decide whether they like you or not. Whether they vibe with you or not. But your degree and your ability to become more comfortable with yourself and how you express yourself is directly correlated with your ability to be magnetic and attract people into your life. So when you think of it like, to be magnetic, most magnetic version of you, it's not your job to get other people to think of you as magnetic. Your job is to enjoy Being authentic, vulnerable, and expressive in the real you. However, however, a part of this is owning that dark side, baby. You gotta own that dark side. You gotta. I'm telling you right now, you gotta own your dark side. The part of you that's bad. The part of you you labeled as bad, and behind every when you think about magnetic energy and you think about patterns, remember you might have patterns, but you're not your patterns. Can you guys see that? Go and put questions into if you guys have questions. Go and put it in. Someone said reject me, delete. Deleted your question. You are rejected. How does that feel? I have rejected you. See, whatever emotions come up inside of you, that's your thing to manage. What is the meaning you give to me rejecting your question and pushing delete? See? Can you see? Doesn't it also exist that you'd rather hurt than someone you love? I'm not sure the question. Doesn't it also hurt you than someone you love? I'm not sure what you mean by that. This guy sent me a shirtless pic and I was not having it. I blocked him and then unblocked him to explain that I don't, I don't like being sent photos like that because it normally leads to more. Oh, that's funny. The part that was funny to me is, uh, it's just you're like, I blocked him, I said no to that energy, but I admire that you then were vulnerable and were like, this is why I blocked you. Just so I can explain. So someone says, so my dark side is me being authentic? Your dark side is who you're afraid to become because it was bad as a kid, okay? And owning your dark side is very much the key to you becoming the most— it's the key to you really breaking the pattern. Like people pleasers and nice guys, for example, their darks— they have a certain level of anger that's on the inside That if they were to embrace, they would become so much more authentic, expressive, and they would no longer be holding it on the inside. So a people pleaser nice guy will feel bad when they let someone else sit with tension. An overgiver— one sec. It's not an overgiver. It is a person with an overgiving pattern. You guys see that? None of you are overgivers. None of you are people pleasers. Not one of you. You might have had that pattern as a survival mechanism as a kid, but it's not who you really are. You are an eternal spiritual being living a temporary human experience. At least that's my belief. And that you are confident, bold. That's who you really are. Like when I used to sell women's shoes, The version of me selling women's shoes, one of the ways I didn't have imposter syndrome is I recognized that when imposter syndrome could come up, I would recognize actually me pretending to be a 9-to-5 job goer is actually the part of me that feels familiar, but it's not really who I am. It was me locked in a pattern. The real me, even though it's unfamiliar to be making daily videos on YouTube, that's the real me. So you can use this around the identity of people pleaser, overgiver, hyper-independent, whatever your pattern is. That's not really you. That's a survival strategy. And it's— take the— here's how I know that's not you, by the way. Think about how much energy it takes. Think about how much energy it takes to be in the pattern. of working a 9-to-5 job you hate or to be in the pattern of people pleasing. You feel drained. It might be familiar. You might be a perfectionist. It might feel familiar. But isn't it draining to be attached to outcome and to be mitigating how everyone thinks about you? Isn't that draining? But for you to be the most authentic, expressive, and present you, not needing to manage other people's emotions and energies, that will feel More enlivening. Is that a word? I made it up. Enlivening. I don't know. Who cares? So it's your ability to express the real you. Let's see. A good self-awareness here. Someone says, I always hated attention seekers or people that I thought were. Turns out I just craved attention as a kid. That's a powerful statement right there, because many times the things that the most— it's such an interesting thing because the things that trigger you the most in other people, very much there's a part of yourself where you may do that in a different way, and that's why it triggers you. This is very hard to look at. But then also the things you like the most in people, the things you like the most in people that you idolize the most in people are things that also exist inside of you. But you like it in them because you think it's in them, not in you. So it's kind of the same thing either way. Go back to saying if you own your anger, then you will people please. Yes. So give an example of what a person should do In that. So if normally, like for example, owning your anger and expressing yourself when you're around someone else, if someone else does something and you normally hold it back and don't express it, that anger becomes self-inflicted. It becomes something that's on the inside. So when something comes up for you and a friend, for example, or you and your partner, whatever, Being able to express it is like you feel in your body that something is coming up, and instead of just putting it back and not looking at it, not letting yourself feel it, the key would be to feel it and express how you feel. There also depends on the level of anger that's on the inside. There are, there are things you can do like expressing into a pillow or breathwork for releasing that emotion inside, out, outside of your body as well. That makes sense. Okay. Let's see. It says, can you talk more about overgiving and pleasing? Overgiving and pleasing is a pattern. It's a survival pattern that's rooted in who did you believe you had to be as a kid to receive mom and dad's love and approval. And one of the big— here's an insight here. A lot of times, if you look at a— if you look at that of something that is called the drama triangle, imagine you have perpetrator, victim, rescuer. Okay? Victim, perpetrator, rescuer. People pleasers and overgivers tend to be— which of the 3 would you say? Which of the 3? Do you think people pleasers and overgivers are more perpetrators or villains, victims, or rescuers? Which would you say they're more like? So yeah, they have more of a tendency to be the rescuer. Which means that in childhood, they— being a rescuer means you have to be very receptive to how other people think and feel. Yes. Yeah, sometimes victim, sometimes rescuer. The truth is what happens is the belief is— if I— here's the thing too, being a rescuer feels a lot more safe than being a victim. But being a perpetrator is a no-no zone. Nope, nope, nope. You don't want to be a perpetrator. You normally— you had a perpetrator in childhood where you weren't allowed to be free in some way, or you got in trouble or criticized. So you said, I don't want to be anything like this person, but being a rescuer feels a lot better than being a victim. And then if I have people that I can— if I have people that I can fix or help, then they're going to need me. And that allows me to stay in the rescuer role because getting out of the rescuer role will mean being vulnerable. Being a perpetrator, like, as a result of trauma, the perception of a perpetrator is that— which of course there are that actual thing, but you— like, for example, when I stopped being a rescuer and I stopped fixing people in my life, Family members and friends, solving people's problems by giving them money, etc. When I stopped doing that, I was seen as a bad guy. Like, Aaron can fix this problem for me. Aaron can pay for my living situation, but he doesn't. Therefore, he's bad. And I had to be okay with being a perpetrator to people that I was no longer enabling. Can you guys see this? So embracing your dark side is also letting other people sit with tension, knowing that it's not your thing to manage. Yeah, they call that the drama triangle. The opposite is the winner's triangle. I gotta check that out. Never heard of that. So Oh, also interesting. Someone says, I just want to be saved because I've saved others. Isn't that fine? And I like to help too, not for the ego. This is something I've thought a lot about because when I was recently in a transformation place, I went for a week. Um, I went to like a retreat where I had to like do all this expressive work and wasn't allowed to have my phone for a week, and it was very powerful. One of the things I became aware of Was that when I was young, I'm the oldest child. I've always been the responsible, strong one. And when I was 3 or 4 years old, my brother was born and my brother had health complications. He had asthma. He naturally got a lot of attention because of his illness or his thing that was for the first year or 2 of his life. So when I was 3 years old and that happened, the attention shifted From me to my brother. And one of the things that was a pattern of my mom's is my mom used to love nursing sick animals. She used to— we had a dog that had 3 legs for years. My mom would always take in animals that were hurt or like no one else wanted. And part of it was, I think she, she liked caring for them. She liked being the one that nobody else wanted them. She wanted to be the one. That was like taking care of them. So naturally, she would give more attention to siblings or to people that were either perceived to be broken or had issues. So part of my childhood patterning was that as a kid, because mom was giving my brother so much attention and love and care because he was sick, It was like because I was more of an easy child who— like, I remember asking my dad this after I came out of that transformation place because it was— I was like, what was I like as a kid? He's like, oh, you were very helpful. Like, there was so much energy as a kid with your brother because he was sick that you were always just like— your way to like gain love and approval was like helping make everybody— like helping smooth everything out, not having your own needs. So, so in a way, when you look at those patterns and you say, well, is it okay to be wanting to help other people or rescue other people? It's like there's a certain degree to which, of course, none of these are like— to own your dark side is good. To be somebody that's like adding value and to be empathic is great. It's at the extent to which you abandon yourself. To then help other people, so it's not bad to have these different characteristics. The key is why are you doing it, and what part of yourself is craving that energy that you're giving to someone else? Can you guys see the difference there? So you see, I want to be saved because I've saved others. Yeah, and there's, there's, of course, it's, it's being aware of what the agenda is. Being aware of what the agenda is. Is helping someone else— ask yourself this— is helping someone else really helping them? Because sometimes when you help someone else, you might be enabling someone else. You might be always there to fix their problems or always there holding space, but then also feel like, oh, this I don't, I don't have anyone in my life that can hold space for me. And there are times in which you probably abandon yourself to be around people that you feel like you always need to fix or help. So is it really helping them if it's enabling them? Of course those people go to you when things come up because you're a very comfortable presence for them. But you have to be aware also of, are you abandoning yourself? To do that? And is there opportunity for expression? And is it actually helping them? Because at times when you let someone else sit with their emotion and energy, when there's a certain boundary, there's a certain like limit, right? That could be their breakthrough. Like for me back in the day in the rescuer-perpetrator-victim dynamic, a few years ago when I stopped fixing, giving money, and paying for family members and friends and like solving people's problems. When I stopped doing that, it started to enable other people to actually figure their stuff out. I, though, had to be comfortable with being seen as bad. Can you guys see the difference there? Embracing being bad, embracing the dark side. Does birth order matter in the triangle? There's whole psychology around something called Adlerian psychology that has to do with birth order. In general, a lot of times the eldest might have had to be the most responsible. Not always. It depends on your family system. But in general, have you ever seen the memes where it's like the eldest child's like the responsible one that kind of like is like also helping out with the other kids and stuff? And then the youngest one is the one that's like the most kind of like bratty. That's not always the case. If you're a youngest child watching this, you're like, no, no, no, that's not my family. I'm just saying, it's like, it's a— there's a certain— there are a lot of times, um, there are different roles depending on how you fit into the family system, but it depends on your family system. So it can— when you begin to choose yourself, that is the degree to which you then aren't attached to whether other people choose you. And in an Instagram Live that I did recently that went viral on YouTube and It's my most popular one I've ever done. It's a full masterclass on how to choose yourself, how to stop abandoning yourself, and how not to be attached to whether people even choose you or not. This video is right here. Watch this video and watch your life change as you begin to choose yourself in a very powerful way.